Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone has died aged 63, with the popstar remembering him as “the closest human to me for so long”. 

Mr Ciccone, who was an artist, dancer and designer, died on Friday in Michigan after being diagnosed with cancer.

He appeared in music videos such as Lucky Star, art directed Madonna’s Blond Ambition World Tour and served as tour director for The Girlie Show tour.

In a post on Instagram, Madonna, 66, said Ciccone was in “so much pain towards the end”.

She said: “He was the closest human to me for so long, it’s hard to explain our bond.

“But it grew out of an understanding that we were different and society was going to give us a hard time for not following the status quo.

“We took each other’s hands and we danced through the madness of our childhood, in fact dance was a kind of superglue that held us together.

“Discovering dance in our small Midwestern town saved me and then my brother came along, and it saved him too. My ballet teacher, also named Christopher, created a safe space for my brother to be gay, a word that was not spoken or even whispered where we lived.

“When I finally got the courage to go to New York to become a dancer, my brother followed, and again we took each other’s hands, and we danced through the madness of New York City.”

She added: “My brother was right by my side, he was a painter, a poet and a visionary, I admired him.

“He had impeccable taste. And a sharp tongue, which he sometimes used against me but I always forgave him.

“We soared the highest heights together, and floundered in the lowest lows.

“Somehow, we always found each other again and we held hands and we kept dancing.”

Mr Ciccone fell out with his sister in 2008 after the release of his bestselling autobiography Life With My Sister Madonna in which he wrote about their strained relationship, her romances and memories from their time on tour together.

Speaking about mending their argument before Mr Ciccone’s death, Madonna said: “The last few years have not been easy.

“We did not speak for some time but when my brother got sick, we found our way back to each other.”

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She added: “I did my best to keep him alive as long as possible.

“He was in so much pain towards the end, once again, we held hands, we closed our eyes and we danced, together.

“I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore, there will never be anyone like him. I know he’s dancing somewhere.”

Mr Ciccone directed music videos for Dolly Parton and Tony Bennett during his career, and was an interior designer for Madonna’s homes in New York, Miami and Los Angeles.

In 2016, Mr Ciccone married Ray Thacker, a British actor, who was by his side when he died.

Madonna’s stepmother, Joan Clare Ciccone, died from cancer just weeks ago, and her older brother Anthony Ciccone died last year.

PHILADELPHIA — Nick Castellanos ripped a winning two-out single off Tylor Megill that scored Bryce Harper and sent the Philadelphia Phillies to a dizzying 7-6 win over the New York Mets on Sunday and evened the NL Division Series at one game apiece.

Castellanos tossed his helmet and was mobbed by teammates on the infield as a game that seemed to slip away one inning earlier turned into one more comeback for the NL East champions.

Megill retired the first two batters of the ninth and walked Harper, who also homered and scored twice.

Castellanos, who also homered, followed with perhaps the hit of his Phillies’ career and sent the towel-waving crowd at Citizens Bank Park into a frenzy.

“Unbelievable. Unbelievable,” Castellanos said. “If he blows a fastball by me so be it. I’d rather that than swing at something in the dirt. It was incredible but the series is even. Now we go to New York and there’s a lot of baseball left.”

Game 3 is Tuesday in New York, the Mets’ first home game since Sept. 22.

If we are, as some scientists have hypothesized, living in a multiverse in which all possible outcomes occur along some timeline, then we can still rest easy knowing that our lives are in fact unique and special and touched by some higher power because in no other possible universe could what unfolded on Saturday in college football happen again.

It was a rough Saturday for the top teams in the sport, and none suffered a more horrific fate than Alabama.

A week ago, the Tide escaped Georgia in what seemed like the best game of the year, a harbinger that their dynasty didn’t end with Nick Saban’s departure; it was simply a changing of the guard to Kalen DeBoer’s Bama.

And on Saturday, the king was replaced again, usurped by the court jester’s good-for-nothing roommate.

Vanderbilt did the impossible, knocking off No. 1 Alabama 40-35 in a game that might not technically qualify as the biggest upset in the sport’s modern era but certainly fits the bill in spirit, but it was really just the beginning.

Nothing about Week 6 screamed drama. It was a week in which just one pair of top-25 teams met on the field — and that turned out to be a snooze, as Texas A&M romped over No. 9 Missouri. The other powers — Georgia, Penn State, Ole Miss and Oregon — seemed to sleepwalk to easy enough wins.

Then No. 10 Michigan lost to unranked Washington. Then No. 11 USC lost to unranked Minnesota. Then No. 4 Tennessee lost to unranked Arkansas. The weekend that was supposed to provide only the dullest of chalk ended up giving us one of the most stunning strings of upsets we’ve had in years — five of the nation’s top 11 losing on the same day for the first time since 2016. A sixth team, Miami, needed a miracle (and a helpful review) to escape at Cal.

Saturday delivered utter absurdity, a Mad Libs of final scores that left the AP poll in tatters. But no outcome was more incredible than what happened in Nashville.

That Alabama found itself suffering through a hangover in Nashville is no surprise. The win over Georgia had felt so seismic, an exclamation point for a program used to making statements.

By halftime on Saturday, the hangover looked a bit more serious than we might’ve expected. But by the time Commodores tight end Kamrean Johnson hauled in a 6-yard touchdown pass from Diego Pavia with 5:07 to play. we’d reached a “Let’s DoorDash Arby’s” level of hangover.

And yet, it still felt almost inevitable that Alabama would find a way — just as it had a week ago, behind quarterback Jalen Milroe‘s arm and wide receiver Ryan Williams‘ magic.

Then Pavia threw a 19-yard completion.

Then Sedrick Alexander ran for 13 yards through the teeth of Alabama’s flummoxed defense.

Then Pavia scrambled for 8 yards and a first down with 1:10 to play — and all Vandy had to do was take a knee to secure its first win over a top-five opponent in 60 tries and leave the bachelorette parties downtown squealing and whooping incoherently (though that last part might have been unrelated).

It was the type of mythical David-over-Goliath win they write songs about, if only Nashville had any songwriters.

For the Commodores, there were so many small storylines that felt, in retrospect, like genuine foreshadowing. There was coach Clark Lea’s promise in the summer of 2022 that Vandy would one day be the best program in the country. He might as well have told the assembled masses at SEC media day that Saban was going to retire and start riding around in a van with his dog solving mysteries. It was nonsensical. And yet, here we are, witness to Vandy toppling the No. 1 team in the nation.

It was less than 11 months ago that Pavia and Jerry Kill led New Mexico State into Jordan-Hare Stadium and utterly embarrassed Auburn. Now, both are at Vandy — Pavia as QB, Kill as advisor to Lea — and they’ve beaten Bama too. Pavia yelled into a microphone on live television that Nashville would be “f—ing turnt,” and somehow that seemed a perfectly natural reaction — subdued, even — to what happened but also an earned celebration for a kid who grew up idolizing Johnny Manziel and dreaming of a moment like this. That Kill has helped turn around both New Mexico State and Vandy in consecutive years is probably enough evidence to warrant sandblasting Jefferson off Mount Rushmore and carving out Kill’s likeness instead.

In its opener this season, Vandy escaped Virginia Tech in part because it got a second chance after the Hokies inexplicably sent two players onto the field wearing the same jersey number during a Vanderbilt punt. The Commodores eventually turned that second chance into a touchdown in a game ultimately won by one possession. And on Saturday, the same thing happened. The difference between 3-2 Vandy with two epic wins and 1-4 Vandy being completely ignored on the national stage is literally another team’s laundry.

It was another résumé win for a school whose résumé previously just read: “Technically a football team.” For virtually the entirety of its history, Vandy was essentially the SEC’s version of the dead body at the start of each episode of “Law & Order.” That’s essential to the plot of the show, but it isn’t supposed to have any dialogue and mostly exists to allow the stars to make a few dark jokes. And now the Commodores have wins over Virginia Tech and Alabama, a narrow defeat to a top-10 Missouri and a close loss to an unspecified team from Georgia. (Let them have their moment.)

What was most exhilarating and confounding, though, was that Vandy absolutely deserved this win. It had nine more first downs than the Tide. It ran for more yards, often straight up the gut against a Bama front that looked a shell of what we saw a week ago against Georgia. It refused to let drives die, converting 13 of 19 third- and fourth-down tries, and as a result, the Dores held the football for more than 42 minutes.

And when it was all over, Vandy not only rushed the field, not only celebrated with its fans and basked in the win and cursed on live TV, but it had the gumption to stick it to Bama’s former coach, replaying a Saban sound bite in which he said the only easy venue in the SEC was at Vanderbilt.

NO WAY#Vandy played this quote from Nick Saban after the upset over Alabama:

“The only place that’s not hard to play in the SEC is Vanderbilt.” pic.twitter.com/QDfGufSQol

— Billy Derrick (@billyderrick10) October 5, 2024

Whichever staffer on Vanderbilt’s stadium ops crew dug up that clip in advance of the win needs to be carried down Broadway like a conquering hero.

It is fair to suggest this isn’t your father’s Vandy team (or, more accurately, the Vandy team from the last time you wore that sport coat hanging in your closet). Lea has these Dores playing good football. Pavia is a swashbuckling underdog who’s entirely deserving of Manziel’s mantle. And as is required by federal law to note in situations like this, there are no easy weeks in the SEC, despite Saban’s now-infamous hot take.

But make no mistake, this was a genuine one-in-a-million outcome — not because Vandy is bad or Alabama is preordained or because this weekend seemed so entirely fluke-proof. All of those things could be true and they still wouldn’t capture the magnitude of what happened.

This was an outcome that a thousand monkeys typing on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years couldn’t script on accident because things like this simply don’t happen. It was the Washington Generals toppling the Harlem Globetrotters, Charlie Brown kicking the football and Dabo Swinney taking a transfer all rolled into one.

In other words, things like this don’t happen in any universe. None but this one, on this beautiful blue marble on this particular Saturday on a field in Nashville that even Saban didn’t take seriously.

Lucky for us, it’s the universe we’re all living in, and we get to go along for the ride.

Jump to:
Tennessee tumbles
Miami survives again
ACC troubles
Army/Navy 5-0
Gift trash talking
Vibe shifts
Under the radar
Heisman

Down go the Vols

The SEC opened Saturday with four undefeated teams and ended it with just one.

This wasn’t the week for No. 4 Tennessee to lay an egg against Arkansas, because it really opened the door to some jokes from its in-state neighbors who toppled Alabama earlier in the day.

Vanderbilt fans watching Tennessee struggle with Arkansas pic.twitter.com/lVLpJXqrI6

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) October 6, 2024

Tennessee couldn’t do anything in the passing game, with hyped quarterback Nico Iamaleava completing just 17 of 29 throws for 158 yards. Arkansas got plenty of QB Taylen Green, but he left with an injury in the fourth quarter, putting backup Malachi Singleton in position to play hero.

Singleton had a 13-yard completion and an 11-yard touchdown run on the game-winning drive, scoring with 1:17 to play.

It was proof of the important lesson offensive coordinator Bobby Petrino had taught this Arkansas team: When you fall off your bike — then get fired under embarrassing circumstances, spend a decade bouncing around various jobs then help Jimbo Fisher get fired at Texas A&M — you always get back up on that bike and sooner or later, all will be forgiven.

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Miami escapes again

The Bermuda Triangle of college football chaos exists in Berkeley, California.

On one leg of the triangle is Coastal chaos. On another is “Pac-12 After Dark.” And on the third, ACC officiating. Mix them all together and what you get is the utter insanity that was Miami–Cal.

The Golden Bears hosted “College GameDay” based on the strength of their darkly subversive Twitter presence and a deeply talented defense, and both showed out early. Jaydn Ott scored two first-half touchdowns, making his case for what the Calgorithm calls the Heisperson Trophy, while the Bears’ D utterly frustrated Cam Ward and the Canes’ offense. By the time Cal kicker Ryan Coe drilled a 37-yard field goal with 14:13 left in the game, Miami was down by 20 points and its No. 8 ranking — and playoff hopes — seemed on shaky ground.

That’s when Ward came to life.

In the fourth quarter, he completed 15 of 22 passes for 238 yards, ran for another 39 yards and accounted for three touchdowns.

And yet the game was not without controversy. Trailing by six points, Miami looked to force a Cal punt with 1:50 to play, but linebacker Wesley Bissainthe collided with Cal’s Fernando Mendoza on the tackle, smacking helmets along the way.

Replay looked to show a clear targeting, but no flag was thrown on the field. The booth reviewed the play, but allowed the non-call to stand, despite what looked like clear evidence of a launch and a hit with the crown of the helmet.

This follows a similar incident last week in which Miami prevailed only after review overturned a Hail Mary touchdown by Virginia Tech, despite minimal video evidence.

A targeting call would’ve almost certainly won the game for Cal, but instead, a punt followed and Ward delivered a 77-yard connection with Xavier Restrepo on the next offensive play.

Cal fans were rightly furious. Unfortunately, no one in Berkeley knew a good way to signal their disapproval of a decision made by a more authoritative enemy.

Miami still tried to upend its own good fortune with an atrocious unsportsmanlike penalty in the red zone. But Ward delivered a checkdown throw just inches from crossing the line of scrimmage that picked up a key first down, and he then hit Elijah Arroyo for the go-ahead touchdown.

The result: Miami is 6-0, the ACC review booth is 2-0 and Cal is going to invent an app that somehow brings down the entire college football industrial complex as punishment.

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Other ACC powers struggling

Louisville’s defense couldn’t find a solution for Kevin Jennings and SMU on Saturday, falling 34-27. Meanwhile, Boston College got its starting QB, Thomas Castellanos, back from injury but blew a 14-0 lead and lost to Virginia 24-14. Wake Forest managed its first ACC win of the year, erasing a 10-point deficit to beat NC State 34-30.

And then there’s Florida State, a school whose fans are going through some things right now.

pic.twitter.com/B9tixR2CsF

— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) October 6, 2024

In the Billable Hours Bowl, the two teams suing to leave the ACC faced off in Tallahassee, and while FSU occasionally showed signs of life with Brock Glenn at QB, the end result was still the same.

In fact, here’s a quick recap of what happened in the game.

Clemson: Hey, the SEC’s on the phone. They said they’re ready to expand.

Florida State: Really?

Clemson: No. They said they don’t need you. They have Vandy.

With the Tigers’ victory, Dabo Swinney became the winningest coach in ACC history, passing Bobby Bowden on the field that bears his name. Swinney did it, too, by taking the same number of transfers as Bowden.

Also Cade Klubnik threw for two touchdowns and Phil Mafah ran for 154 yards in what was an appropriately ugly 29-13 decision.

So, to recap where the ACC stands: Florida State, NC State, Virginia Tech, North Carolina and Louisville all have multiple losses already and sport a combined record of 13-16.

Meanwhile Pitt, Virginia, Syracuse and SMU are a combined 18-3.

You can take the Coastal out of the ACC, but you can’t take the ACC away from the chaos.

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Sluggish day for the top teams

No. 3 Ohio State: Had little trouble swatting away Iowa 35-7. Still, it had to feel like a loss for the Buckeyes, who are the first ranked team to allow points to Iowa’s offense since Michigan surrendered two touchdowns in a win over the Hawkeyes in Week 5 of 2022.

No. 5 Georgia: Responded to last week’s loss to Alabama with an entirely reasonable 31-13 win over Auburn. Carson Beck was 23-of-28 passing, and Trevor Etienne scored twice, and yet it was hardly the offensive performance that offered significant reassurance this uneven start to the season is insignificant. More than anything, Georgia wore down Auburn rather than delivering any sort of statement. If anything, it was a bit embarrassing not to get a single Payton Thorne interception. Typically, Auburn is giving those away with the purchase of any large soft drink.

No. 6 Oregon: Beat Michigan State 31-10 on Friday, despite two red zone picks by Dillon Gabriel. It was another utterly dispassionate performance from the 5-0 Ducks, who’ve basically become college football’s version of “According to Jim” — on every week, with roughly the same plot, perfectly successful without a single memorable storyline.

No. 12 Ole Miss: Cruised past South Carolina 27-3, but those third-down woes that cost the Rebels last week against Kentucky were still on display Saturday. Ole Miss was 3-of-13 on third down (and 1-of-3 on fourth) against the Gamecocks, and Jaxson Dart went without a touchdown pass against an unranked team for the first time in two years. It was entirely meh.

No. 16 Iowa State: Flirted with disaster against Baylor, but because Matt Campbell is a nice guy, the Cyclones ripped out Dave Aranda’s heart by late in the third quarter rather than waiting until the final moments of the game. Rocco Becht remains the sport’s best player named Rocco, throwing for 277 yards and two touchdowns in a 43-21 win.

The end result: Few top teams looked good, but at least these guys got to have a good laugh at Alabama’s expense anyway.

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Army, Navy 5-0

In the fall of 1945, Army and Navy defeated fascism then both started 5-0 on the football field.

That was the Greatest Generation.

In the fall of 2024, Army and Navy are again 5-0 for the first time in 79 years, making this at least a pretty good generation despite otherwise being ruined by TikTok and avocado toast.

Navy demolished Air Force 34-7 on Saturday, with Blake Horvath rushing for 115 yards and two touchdowns and at least six good “zoomies” taunts at his opposition.

Not to be outdone, Army went to Tulsa and dominated 49-7 behind 250 combined passing and rushing yards and two touchdowns from Bryson Daily. Daily completed all five of his pass attempts, averaging 28 yards per throw, which served as a reminder to people in Michigan that it’s OK to employ the forward pass from time to time.

What does it mean that Army and Navy are off to their best combined start to the season since World War II in the larger scope of international diplomacy? It’s impossible to say at this point, but just to be safe, it’s probably a bad idea to invade Poland in the next few weeks.

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A&M gets last laugh

Le’Veon Moss and Amari Daniels combined to run for 172 yards and five touchdowns on 21 carries as Texas A&M routed No. 9 Missouri 41-10 on Saturday.

Missouri QB Brady Cook completed just 13 of 31 passes, an ugly performance somewhat predicted by the gift wideout Theo Wease Jr. received in his hotel room upon arrival in College Station.

Mizzou WR Theo Wease Jr. received this message after arriving to the team hotel in College Station…

“Get used to this blanket … It will be real tomorrow.”

Texas A&M CB Will Lee III is officially the new king of trash talk pic.twitter.com/wVvoJp8zaa

— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) October 5, 2024

Now, we should point out this is technically a throw, not a blanket. It says so right there on the label. And, as such, Wease did actually haul in Missouri’s only touchdown of the day. Next time, Will Lee III should consider a nice duvet cover.

Still, Lee’s gift was an undeniably great bit of smack talk, and we’d like to think more players will follow his lead by leaving gifts for the opposition before the game — a bag of potatoes with a note, “enjoy the sack; there’ll be plenty more tomorrow” or a box of Bisquick with the message “prepare to get pancaked” or a bag of those hint-of-lime Tostitos. No note with that last one. Just impossible not to eat the whole bag, thus leaving your opponent listless and dehydrated for game day. Those are good chips.

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Week 6 vibe shifts

Each week, there are big wins and painful losses that help shape the story of the season. But there also are more subtle shifts — small movements in the larger ecosystem that don’t garner headlines but can prove to be just as important. We work to capture them here.

Trending down: Billy Napier seat temperature

Florida is officially over .500, and it won’t finish as the worst Power Four team in the state. Given that the expectation for the Gators after an early loss to Miami involved a slew of defeats, a likely coaching change and a photo surfacing of a naked Napier hugging a shark on the back of a boat, this is nothing short of a massive success.

The Gators toppled UCF 24-13 on Saturday, giving Napier consecutive wins versus Power Four opponents for just the third time in his Florida tenure.

Graham Mertz and DJ Lagway were near flawless again, completing 23 of 28 passes for 229 yards. Over their past two games, they’ve tossed just six incompletions on 56 passes.

Honestly, what are the odds we could write that many consecutive positive things about the Gators this year?

Trending up: The apocalypse

It was 97 degrees at kickoff for Rutgers-Nebraska on Saturday, enough heat to make the corn in the stands go best with movie-theater butter.

It also was enough to stifle most of the offense. Neither team managed more than 264 yards, and Huskers QB Dylan Raiola was just 13-of-27 with a pick. But two Rutgers turnovers and a stout defensive performance from Nebraska secured an ugly 14-7 win.

Given the extreme temperatures and the fact that Nebraska won a one-score game (8-26 in games decided by a TD or less since 2019), coach Matt Rhule announced afterward that, in fact, the end times were upon us and we should seek shelter and hug our loved ones.

Holding steady: Hoosier State football

Indiana’s rollicking start to the 2024 season continued unabated Saturday, as the Hoosiers dismissed Northwestern 41-24 while also leaving a pretty unimaginative three-star review on the lakefront Airbnb where the Wildcats are playing this season.

If you had Indiana as the first team to qualify for bowl eligibility in 2024, congratulations. You’re a winner. After making just five bowls in the past 30 years, Indiana is now 6-0 and virtually guaranteed to beat Kentucky 12-9 in the ReliaQuest Bowl.

That hot start has to be frustrating for Purdue, which can usually count on Indiana to be so embarrassing no one notices how bad the Boilermakers are. Sadly, Purdue’s misery is on full display in 2024. On Saturday, the Boilermakers lost 52-6 to Wisconsin, mustering just 216 yards of offense and converting just 1 of 11 third-down tries. They’re 1-4 on the year, the lone win coming against Indiana State (which didn’t have Larry Bird so really never had a shot) and has now lost each of its four games by at least 17.

Trending up: QB changes in Ann Arbor

Michigan made its second QB change of the season, benching Alex Orji in favor of Jack Tuttle midway through its game against Washington. But the end result was the same: The passing game struggled, and a late pick proved the difference in a 27-17 Huskies win.

Tuttle threw for 98 yards, which believe it or not is the fourth most by a Michigan QB this season, but his interception with 3:24 to play allowed Washington to ice the game with a late field goal.

Michigan threw for just 113 yards in the game — 20 of which came on the final drive — its fourth straight with 134 or less through the air. The last time a top-20 team did that in four straight was Georgia Tech in 2014 and 2015 when it ran the triple option. That, by the way, might not be such a bad idea for the Wolverines moving forward.

Trending down: Lincoln Riley narratives

It’s not exactly Vandy-over-Bama weird, but USC’s defense has been good and the Trojans are struggling because they can’t score points.

USC was again reminded that football in the Big Ten is intended to be ugly and slow — and occasionally results in winning a trophy shaped like a jar of pickles or a bronze bedpan that once belonged to William Henry Harrison — falling at Minnesota 24-17 after turning the ball over three times.

The Golden Gophers scored on each of their final two drives, while USC wasted a 17-10 win with two picks and a three-and-out in their final three drives.

Honestly, Riley didn’t bolt Oklahoma to escape coaching in the SEC just so he could lose Big Ten games like this. Very disappointing.

Trending up: Last year’s new FBS teams

On Friday, Jacksonville State pulled a nifty trick in the second half of a 63-24 win over Kennesaw State.

The Gamecocks had just five possessions in the second half, and yet they scored a total of 42 points.

Some basic math would suggest that’s six touchdowns, which is accurate. Not only did Jacksonville State find the end zone on each of its five possessions, it also had a 30-yard pick-six.

It’s just the fourth time in the playoff era a team has scored 42 or more points with five or fewer drives in the second half of a game. Oddly, San Diego State did it earlier this season against FCS Texas A&M-Commerce but only scored four offensive touchdowns, adding two on defense.

Jacksonville State isn’t the only second-year FBS team to add a big win in Week 6 though. Sam Houston beat UTEP like it was former Ohio Sen. William Stanbery, 41-21. Sam Houston is now 5-1 on the season, with its only loss coming at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend. Or maybe UCF. We only skimmed the Sam Houston Wikipedia page.

Trending down: Dilfer’s dimes

Tulane hung seven dimes and a penny on Trent Dilfer’s UAB team Saturday with a 71-20 win that moves the Blazers to 1-4 on the season. They are just 5-12 under Dilfer, including eight losses by 20 or more. Only Temple and Kent State have more such defeats during that span.

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Under-the-radar drive of the week

Normally, we don’t put a spotlight on a single drive in a game. But this week, we felt it necessary to highlight North Carolina’s slow decline.

Leading 7-3 against undefeated Pitt, the Heels ran 19 plays, including two fourth-down conversions, covering 81 yards and chewing up 9:03 of clock.

The result: Squat. Nada. Zilch.

A Jacolby Criswell throw on fourth-and-2 at the Pitt 9 fell incomplete, making it just the second drive of the season of 19 plays or more not to end with points. (Western Kentucky had a 21-play scoreless drive against Alabama, so at least UNC can say it has something in common with Alabama.)

The Tar Heels still had chances to win, but that only served to provide just enough hope to make the inevitable ending — a 34-24 Pitt win — all that much more infuriating for coach Mack Brown, who is approximately one more loss away from ripping off his shirt, shouting incoherently and running into the woods to live with a family of badgers.

On a more positive note, Pitt is 5-0 for the first time since 1991 — a time when Curtis Martin roamed the backfield, Pirates baseball wasn’t a national embarrassment and Barry Bonds’ head didn’t have its own satellites. And Eli Holstein is the first Pitt QB to win his first five career starts since Dan Marino, who would go on to have a successful career as a glove salesman.

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Under-the-radar play of the week

Penn State continues to be the Big Ten team that wins every game against noncontending opponents in the least noteworthy way possible after Saturday’s 27-11 dispatching of UCLA. But while the bulk of this game could’ve been scripted in advance like a WWE match, there was one small wrinkle that made the whole affair worthwhile.

The Nittany Lions sent 350-pound offensive lineman Olaivavega Ioane in motion, and he delivered by possibly sending UCLA D-lineman Luke Schuermann backward in time.

An offensive lineman in motion is a scary sight 😳

Still not over this hit from @PennStateFball‘s Olaivavega Ioane 🥞😱 pic.twitter.com/M6NN7eoIqY

— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) October 5, 2024

The first hit, of course, is monstrous, and that’s the point in which Schuermann’s buddies should be telling him, “Bro, just stay down.” Unfortunately, Schuermann ignored the fact that he has an entire family somewhere who cares about him, and he got back up for more.

This was, in many ways, a nice microcosm of UCLA’s shift to the Big Ten — a normal dude wrestling an F-350. The Bruins are 1-4 overall and 0-3 in conference, and they have led for a grand total of 2:16 this season — the final 56 seconds against Hawaii and for 80 seconds in the first half against LSU.

The takeaway: LSU is the worst team UCLA has played this year.

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Under-the-radar game of the week

In most weeks, watching a game between UConn and Temple would be punishment for shoplifting in some more draconian jurisdictions. But on Saturday, it was actually pretty fun.

There were seven different lead changes in the game, including UConn going up 23-20 with 3:46 to play. Temple, however, had a shot to win it on a fourth-and-goal from the 1-yard line and 3 seconds to play, but Tyler Douglas fumbled on an attempted “Brotherly Shove,” and UConn recovered for a scoop and score.

TEMPLE TRIED THE BROTHERLY SHOVE FOR THE WIN AND THE BALL POPS OUT!! UCONN SCOOP AND SCORE FOR THE WIN!! pic.twitter.com/QMNkSciLGA

— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) October 5, 2024

This is a good reminder to the folks at Temple: While you are located in Philadelphia, you are not the Philadelphia Eag– what’s that? By 17 to the Bucs, you say? And they’ve lost seven of their past 10? Ah. Well then. Carry on, Temple.

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Heisman Five

Consider Vanderbilt QB Diego Pavia an honorary Heisman winner, regardless of his actual standing in the race. In fact, let’s just change the trophy to look like him yelling four-letter words into a microphone.

1. Colorado WR/CB Travis Hunter

Colorado was off in Week 6, though somehow Hunter still got 104 snaps.

2. Boise State RB Ashton Jeanty

Let’s check in on Jeanty’s first carry of the game against Utah State in Week 6.

ASHTON JEANTY’S FIRST CARRY TODAY 🔥 @BroncoSportsFB pic.twitter.com/utOfPL02gv

— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) October 5, 2024

Honestly, it’s time teams consider just negotiating a deal with Boise State before kickoff. Just go ahead and assume Jeanty is going for 220 yards and four touchdowns, let him watch from the sideline to preserve everyone’s dignity and spot the Broncos 28 to open the game.

3. The ACC review booth — er, Miami QB Cam Ward

For the second week in a row, the ACC officials stole the storyline of an incredible ending, but also for the second straight week, Ward was a hero. He finished with 437 passing yards and three total touchdowns. It’s Ward’s seventh straight game — dating back to last season at Washington State — in which he threw for 300 yards and accounted for three touchdowns. Only WKU’s Bailey Zappe (8 straight) had a longer streak in the past 16 years. Assuming the ACC doesn’t review that, it’s a pretty impressive feat.

4 (tie). Army QB Bryson Daily and Navy QB Blake Horvath

Two weeks ago, an Army fan emailed us and made the case that Daily belonged on this list on account of his exceptional start to the season for the undefeated Black Knights, so we put him at No. 5 last week.

Then a Navy fan reached out and lambasted us for adding Daily while overlooking Horvath, whose numbers are even better for the undefeated Midshipmen.

Never let it be said we aren’t pushovers for peer pressure — particularly when that pressure comes from veterans.

Now, if anyone from the Merchant Marines wants to make the case for their QB, however, you’re going to need our Venmo to make it happen.

5. Ohio State WR Jeremiah Smith

It’s not even clear Smith is the best freshman wide receiver in the country; Alabama’s Ryan Williams had another nice game Saturday. But one guy lost to Vandy and the other one did this.

UNREAL. JEREMIAH SMITH DID IT AGAIN! pic.twitter.com/dHHGgdfeG5

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) October 5, 2024

Once Urban Meyer stopped paying the coaching equivalent of Uncle Rico to oversee receivers, the Buckeyes have churned out one elite prospect after another, but there’s a real chance Smith ends up the best of the bunch.