There’s something about the joy of playing around with Tonka trucks in a sandbox that men really never grow out of. Sure, we grow up, get real jobs, and most of us never take the toys back out of the dusty, long-forgotten box. But the desire is still there. And if you gave just about any former boy and reluctant adult the option, I’d be dollars to donuts they’d gladly play around with the life-sized version of their childhood construction toys in a heartbeat.
If that sounds like fun, then I’ve got good news for you. I just found the coolest grown-up toy construction vehicle and it’s unlike anything you’ve seen before. I’d argue that it slots in nicely as a perfect example of some of the coolest and weirdest things you can find from China’s endless supply of innovative EVs. So, for your viewing pleasure, I submit this week’s Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week: the Octo-dumper!
I really don’t know how to describe this vehicle. I’ve been at a loss for words before in this column, but at least there’s usually a general class of vehicle that these things fit into.
In this case, I’m hesitant to call it a dump truck – partly because it appears to be all dump and no truck.
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It’s remote-controlled, so you could call it an RC vehicle, but the fact that I’ve seen cars smaller than this rig makes me hesitant to lump it in with the remote-controlled toys.
Then there’s the 8×8 setup here. The last time I saw an eight-wheeled vehicle like this was, ironically, it was a mobile crane that was unloading one of my containers full of fun Alibaba construction equipment. Wow, I didn’t expect to come full circle there so quickly.
But despite being unable to quite classify this dumper, I still love everything about it, and I kind of want one.
Measuring around six feet long (197 cm), it seems capable of carrying a fairly large load. They rate it for 2,200 lb (1,000 kg) of cargo, and it looks every bit ready for it.
The top speed of 9 mph (15 km/h) might not hold up when fully laden, but this isn’t exactly a vehicle built for speed. Or comfort, for that matter. It’s built for by-god gettin’ stuff done! And with a claimed 5.4 kWh of battery capacity, it’s going to be quietly hauling your junk around for a good long time before it needs a recharge.
The cargo bed appears to have the classic pickup truck tailgate in the rear, though it also adds a pair of side gates like an old Corvair 95 Rampside pickup, except that the side gates run the full length. Finally, the front also has a tailgate–err, frontgate? Basically, it’s gates all around to turn this thing into a rolling flatbed capable of carrying just about any oversized junk you can think of!
Just don’t start tipping it up while you’ve got all those gates down or you might lose your load. That’s right, don’t forget that this is also a dumper! Not just a transporter around a job site, you can unload your dirt, mulch, gravel, friends, or whatever you carry in here with the push of a button.
Now I’m not exactly sure what I’d do with one of these if I owned one, but I’m sure I could find plenty of uses. You never realize what you can do with an octo-dumper until you own one, and then it’s suddenly like, “How did I ever manage without this thing!?”
Now it will set you back more than a Tonka truck. But I’d argue that the sticker price of $2,482 is a small price to pay in order to have the coolest vehicle in the neighborhood! Just try not to think yet about the thousands and thousands of dollars in fees, import charges, shipping, and other expenses of actually receiving one of these in the West. Instead, think of the fun hayrides you could give the neighborhood kids, at least assuming their parents signed the extensive liability waiver that this thing would probably require.
Speaking of liability though, before any of you get the bright idea to try one of these, please be warned that I’m telling you that’s a bad idea. As I always try to remind my readers during these fun tongue-in-cheek Alibaba articles: don’t actually try to buy one of these things. Seriously. These wild-looking Chinese EVs may be fun to look at, but this is just a lighthearted weekend column where I dig through Alibaba’s bizarre and fascinating collection of electric vehicles. While I’ve had a few successful (and fun) purchases from the site, I’ve also been burned more than once – so it’s definitely not for the faint of heart or anyone on a tight budget.
That’s not to say some brave (or stubborn) readers haven’t taken the plunge anyway, ignoring my caution and venturing into the unknown. But please don’t be the one who gambles and ends up with empty hands and a lighter wallet. Consider this your official heads-up – I’ve warned you!
For now, let’s enjoy how awesome it is that something like this octo-dumper exists, and leave it at that. Until next time, and until the next weird Alibaba EV, this is Micah signing off.
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The Fiat Topolino Vilebrequin is a new beach town cruiser that captures the elegance, glamour, and relaxed vibe of the French Riviera. More significantly, the updated EV also heralds Stellantis’ plans to double EV production at its Kenitra Assembly Plant in Morocco.
Closer to a Mercury Villager Nautica or Ford F-150 Harley-Davidson than a new model on its own, the new Topolino Vilebrequin features colors and fabrics inspired by the French surfwear brand, and is based on the Dolcevita version of Stellantis’ electric microcar. With its open sides, a soft rollback roof, and turtle-tastic fabric prints, it’s ready to whisk you off on a carefree summer adventure in France or Italy – which are, coincidentally, the only two markets the “collector’s edition” Vilebrequin Topolino is currently available in.
“This encounter between the Fiat Topolino and our iconic sea turtle gave rise to a high-quality, lower-impact, and perfectly whimsical design,” says Roland Herlory, CEO of Vilebrequin. “(It is) the definitive summer toy, and the perfect witness to sun-soaked memories still to come.”
Like the standard Topolino, the new Vilebrequin model remains electronically limited to a top speed of 45 kph (just under 30 mph), and is equipped with a 5.5 kWh battery pack that ensures up to 75 km (about 45 miles) of electric range. Prices start at €13,490 ($15,810), and if you don’t want one you’re dead inside.
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Fiat Topolino Vilebrequin
The Vilebrequin Topolino is just the latest version of Stellantis’ electric microcar platform that underpins the Citroën Ami, Opel Rocks-e, and Fiat Topolino. Annual production of the little EVs has grown from 20,000 units and is reportedly on track for 70,000 in 2025.
Now, Mopar Insiders is reporting that number is about to get even bigger. Stellantis’ Chief Operating Officer (COO) for the Middle East & Africa (MEA) region, Samir Cherfan, announced plans to more than double the production capacity at the company’s Kenitra Assembly Plant in Morocco, from some 230,000 vehicles per year to more than 530,000.
The factory was opened in 2019, and the planned €1.2 billion ($1.4B) expansion is expected to add around 3,100 new jobs to the factory’s employee roster.
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Electric bikes are a menace. They go almost as fast as a car (if the car is parking), they’re whisper quiet (which makes them impossible to hear over the podcast playing in your headphones), and worst of all, they’re increasingly ridden by teenagers.
By now, we’ve all seen the headlines. Cities are cracking down. Lawmakers are holding emergency hearings. Parents are demanding bans. “Something must be done,” they cry at local city council meetings before driving back home in 5,000 lb SUVs.
And it’s true – some e-bike riders don’t follow the rules. Some ride too fast. Some are inexperienced. These are real problems that deserve real solutions. But if you think electric bikes are the biggest threat on our roads, just wait until you hear about the slightly more common, slightly more deadly vehicle we’ve been quietly tolerating for the last hundred years.
They’re called cars. And unlike e-bikes, they actually kill people. A lot of people. Over 40,000 people die in car crashes in the US every year. Thousands more are permanently injured. Entire neighborhoods are carved up by high-speed traffic. Kids can’t walk to school safely. But don’t worry – someone saw a teenager run a stop sign on an e-bike, so the real crisis must be those darn batteries on two wheels.
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It’s amazing how worked up people get over a few dozen e-bike crashes when many of us step over a sidewalk memorial for a car crash victim on the way to the grocery store. We’ve been so thoroughly conditioned to accept car violence as part of modern life that the idea of regulating them sounds unthinkable. But regulating e-bikes? Now that’s urgent.
To be clear, this isn’t about ignoring the risks that come with new technology. E-bikes are faster than regular bikes. They’re heavier, too. And they require education and enforcement like any other mode of transport capable of injuring someone, be it the rider or a pedestrian bystander. But the scale of the problem is what matters – and the scale here is completely lopsided. Let’s take New York City, for example. It’s got more e-bike usage than anywhere else in the US, and there are still only an average of two pedestrians per year killed by an e-bike accident. That number for cars? Around 100 per year in NYC. It’s not complicated math – cars are 50x more lethal in the city.
And yet, the person on the e-bike is the one getting the stink eye.
We’ve become so numb to the everyday destruction caused by automobiles that it barely registers anymore. Drunk driving? Distracted driving? Speeding through neighborhoods? It’s just background noise. But the moment someone on an e-bike blows through a stop sign at 16 mph, it’s front-page news and a city council emergency.
Here’s an idea: If we want safer streets, how about we start by addressing the machines that weigh two and a half tons and can hit 100 mph, not the ones that top out at 20 or 28 and are powered by a one-horsepower motor the size of an orange.
But we don’t. Because cars are familiar. Cars are “normal.” Cars are how we built our entire country. And so we turn our attention to the easy target – the new kid on the block. The same old playbook: panic, overreact, and legislate the hell out of it.
Sure, an e-bike might startle you on a sidewalk. But a car can climb that sidewalk and end your life. Which one do we really need to be afraid of?
This isn’t a strawman argument, either. Cars are literally used as mass casualty weapons. It happens all the time. It happened last night in Los Angeles when a disgruntled car driver deliberately plowed into a crowd outside a nightclub, injuring over 30 people. And that wasn’t the only car attack yesterday. Another car rammed into pedestrians on a sidewalk in NYC yesterday morning, leaving multiple pedestrians dead. These aren’t exceptions. This is the normal daily news in the US. It’s depressing, but it bears repeating. This is normal. These are everyday occurrences. Twice a day, yesterday.
While we’re busy debating throttle limits and helmet rules for e-bikes, maybe we should also talk about how tens of millions of drivers still routinely speed, blow stop signs, or scroll Instagram at 45 mph in a school zone. Or how car crashes are the number one killer of teenagers in America. Or we can continue to focus on the kid who forgot to put his foot down at a red light while riding an e-bike to school.
This isn’t satire anymore – it’s just sad. It’s a collective willingness to avoid a real, genuine threat to Americans while simultaneously scapegoating what is, by comparison, a non-threat.
The truth is, electric bikes aren’t the menace. They’re a solution. They’re one of the few glimmers of hope in a transportation system drowning in pollution, congestion, and daily tragedy. They make mobility cheaper, cleaner, and more accessible. And yet we treat them like an invasive species because they disrupt the dominance of the automobile.
It’s time to stop pretending we’re protecting the public from some great e-bike emergency. The real emergency is that we’ve accepted cars killing people as a fair trade for getting to Target five minutes faster.
So yes, let’s make e-biking safer. Let’s educate riders, build better bike infrastructure, and enforce traffic rules fairly. Those are all important things. We absolutely SHOULD invest in training programs to educate teens on safe riding. We absolutely SHOULD cite and fine dangerous riders who could threaten the lives of pedestrians. But let’s stop pretending that e-bikes are the problem when they’re clearly a symptom of a much bigger one.
If you’re really worried about the dangers on our streets, don’t look for the kid on the e-bike. Look for the driver behind them, sipping a latte and going 20 over the speed limit.
Now that’s the menace.
Image note: The first and last images in this article were both AI-generated, and represent everyday car/bike interactions
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The first all-new compact Mopar since the malaise-era K-Car, the Dodge Neon was a revelation. Its fun, approachable face, its “Hi.” marketing campaign, all of it was pitch-perfect for the uncertain times it was launched into. Now, a generation later, Stellantis faces similarly uncertain times – and a new Neon could go a long way towards helping the old Chrysler Co. do what it does best: come back from the brink.
If they wanted to, Stellantis could make it happen tomorrow.
Today, Stellantis is in trouble. Much like it was in the early 90s, the company is hemorrhaging cash, fighting with the unions, and struggling to sell higher-end cars. Today as then, what the company needs is an affordable, simple new car to get people in the showrooms – and in 1994, that new car was the Neon.
In the mid-late 1990s, the Dodge Neon was everywhere. It was affordable, fun to drive, and more or less reliable. It was also economical and fuel-efficient, but it wasn’t that way. It was sold as a fun, smiling face with funky round lights. In R/T and ACR spec, it was sold as an even more fun, smiling face, and offered serious performance chops that still get the grizzled Gen X guys at the SCCA/NASA track days excited.
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Stellantis is selling a car right now, today, that meets all that criteria. It’s the right size, it’s reasonably affordable, and it’s got the right tech – available as both a PHEV and a pure EV – for its time.
Check out the original launch ad for the 1995 Plymouth Neon, below, and tell me they couldn’t do a shot-for-shot remake with a rebadged Ypsilon and make it immediately relevant to car buyers in 1995 in the comments.
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