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When it comes to crazy electric vehicles from Alibaba, I’ve seen and written about seemingly every category under the sun. From animal-shaped electric boats and e-submarines to electric versions of Henry Ford’s Model T and even electric motorcycles with only one wheel. But never before have I found a direct-from-China EV that was as equal parts fascinating and suicidal as this one. And so it is with a combination of morbid curiosity and substantial trepidation that I present to you this week’s Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week: a 60+ mph (100 km/h) standing electric scooter.

You know, like a Bird electric scooter. The kind you ride to go get a coffee.

Except this one looks like it ate a few Bird scooters. And it’s the kind you stand up on to go meet Odin in Valhalla.

This massive electric scooter touts a peak power rating of 8,000 W from a pair of gigantic hub motors. That’s enough power to rocket this bad-idea-on-wheels to a claimed 100 km/h, or 62 mph.

I’d call the scooter death defying at these speeds, but I think it might be more accurate to call it death inducing.

The vendor helpfully mentions that the scooter can be limited to 25 km/h (15.5 mph), presumably to make it street legal. Good luck explaining that to the cop that pulls you over after finally catching up with you. I imagine it’d be a bit like pointing to the turn signals you added to your monster truck while stamping your foot and indignantly saying “See, officer?”

The scooter comes with two 72V battery options of either 35Ah or 45Ah. But let’s not kid ourselves, if you’re getting something this ridiculous, then you’re going to max out the pack.

With the larger 3.2 kWh option, that 25 km/h speed limit would probably let the scooter cross the US on a couple of charge stops. At modest speeds of 60 km/h (37 mph) though, the seller rates that battery for 100-130 km (62-81 miles) of range.

Still not too shabby!

That’s a big battery; credit where credit is due. It’s so big that the scooter even comes with two chargers so you have a prayer of filling that battery in a single overnight charge.

The good news is that even though you’ll be flying through the night at breakneck speed (perhaps literally), people will surely see you coming from a distance and have time to get out of the way. That’s because this rolling liability has more lights than a landing strip at O’Hare.

There are four giant spotlights, standard headlights, “ambient lighting,” LED lights built into the acrylic deck, tail lights, and turn signals. Even the instrument display lights up like a Christmas tree.

To be honest, though, that’s a pretty nice instrument panel. Despite the relatively low price of $2,645, the screen seems nicer than you used to find on most electric Zero Motorcycles costing 5-7x the price (until Zero updated those screens lately).

And while I’m making concessions, the scooter actually seems fairly decently built. The full suspension will at least give you a fighting chance when you hit anything on the road larger than a pencil at max speed. And the 13-inch wheels are quite large by scooter standards. They might even help you fare better against potholes. Of course you could also use the scooter’s other defense against potholes: Just hit them at 60 mph and your wheels won’t have time to drop down into them.

Check out how many gadgets we’ve got on those bars, too! This scooter is more decked out than a mall rent-a-cop’s tactical belt.

One area of the sales page that I absolutely love is the “notes” section. In it, the seller provides a couple key pieces of advice for prospective new scooter owners:

Note:
1.This scooter is not 100% waterproof, the water can not come in the battery (water don’t steep the pedal);

2. For the drop testing in the video, it don’t mean customer can drop it. Pls love your scooter and protect it carefully.:)

That is to say, this scooter appears to be able to handle anything you could throw at it up to and including the apocalypse, as long as it’s a dry end of times. And also, don’t drop your scooter. Though good luck even trying not to. The damn thing weighs 58 kg (127 lb).

I also love how the kind helmet-less organ donor in the demo video below is decked out in tactical elbow and knee pads but is just raw-dogging it down the road with no skid-lid. This man made the conscious decision to ride a 60 mph standing scooter with no helmet, but then thought to himself, “I better protect myself with elbow pads, that’s how I make my money.”

For the actually reasonable price of $2,695, the scooter may just be one of the cheaper ways to go out in a blaze of glory on a thrill ride.

I’m not saying I recommend anyone get one of these, and in fact I’m actively advising against it. Though the free shipping is working against me by making this out to be an even sweeter deal – if the kind of deal you’re looking for is a kamikaze scooter.

I suggest we all sit this one out and just enjoy the scooter on paper for its ridiculousness. There are plenty of other fun and weird electric vehicles on Alibaba that won’t actively try to kill you.

Check out some of my other Awesomely Weird Alibaba Electric Vehicle of the Week finds below, or drop me a line if you happen to find something fun and weird in your own perusings!


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Kate Nash says selling photos of her bum on OnlyFans paid for an extra tour crew member

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Kate Nash says selling photos of her bum on OnlyFans paid for an extra tour crew member

Kate Nash says selling photos of her bottom on the X-rated site OnlyFans has allowed her to add an extra crew member to her tour staff.

The 37-year-old singer says the fact she is having to subsidise her shows in this way shows that the music industry is “completely broken”.

She announced she was launching her OnlyFans account last week as she began the UK leg of her tour, and has previously said on Instagram that, “touring makes losses not profits”.

Speaking about her new venture to BBC Radio 4’s Today programme she said it was “very funny” and “fun to do,” adding, “My industry is completely broken, I don’t think it’s sustainable, and I think it’s a complete failure, I think it will collapse as well”.

Going on to talk about “people finding solutions to fund their art,” she said: “I think it’s quite empowering, and I’m also creating jobs with my bum now.

“For example, I couldn’t bring a crew member that’s on tour with me in the UK to Europe, but now I can, because of my OnlyFans website.”

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She has previously described the career move as a “punk protest,” containing “lots of comedy”.

Speaking to LBC last week, she said: “The cost of touring has gone up. Just like the cost of living crisis, there’s a cost-of-touring crisis – where the cost of travel, accommodation, crew wages, bus rental, all the things that you need to pay for when you go on tour, everything’s gone up.

“But a lot of bands’ and artists’ fees for gigs have not gone up, whereas ticket prices have gone up.”

Nash also said music was an “exploitative industry,” adding, “I have had lots of experience of being exploited”.

She said it could “learn a lot from the sex industry”.

Beginning her career in 2005, Nash has had one UK top 10 single – 2007’s Foundations – and two UK top 10 albums.

She has just finished a three-week US tour and is now touring the UK before moving on to Europe. Her London gig later this week is sold out.

And Nash isn’t the only one branching out to bring in cash. Lily Allen said earlier this year that she had joined OnlyFans to sell photographs of her feet.

The 39-year-old Smile singer, who moved to the US in 2020, says she has “very strict guidelines” and is charging subscribers $10 (£8) a month to view images of her feet on the platform.

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Davina McCall says she has short-term memory problems after brain tumour surgery

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Davina McCall says she has short-term memory problems after brain tumour surgery

Davina McCall has said her short-term memory is “a bit remiss” as she recovers from brain tumour surgery.

Speaking from her bed, the visibly emotional TV presenter posted a short video updating her Instagram followers on her condition, saying it had been a “mad” time.

She expressed an “enormous heartfelt thank you” to people who had messaged her after she revealed this month she had a benign brain tumour, a colloid cyst, which she described as “very rare”.

Looking bright, but with a visibly bruised left eye, McCall said: “My short-term memory is a bit remiss.

“But that is something I can work on, so I’m really happy about that. I’m writing everything down, to keep myself feeling safe.”

She added: “It’s been mad, and it’s just really nice to be back home, I’m on the other side.”

In a message posted with the video, she reiterated her thanks for all the support she has received, adding: “Had a great night’s sleep in my own bed. Have a couple of sleeps during the day which keeps my brain clear… Slowly, slowly…”

When she first shared her diagnosis, she said chances of having it were “three in a million” and that she had discovered it several months previously after a company offered her a health scan in return for giving a menopause talk.

The 57-year-old star said support from her fans had “meant the world”.

She said she was being “brilliantly looked after” by her partner, hairdresser Michael Douglas, and her stepmother, Gabby, who she calls mum.

Becoming tearful, the presenter said: “I’d quickly like to say big up the stepmums. I don’t really say thank you to Gabby enough. She’s been an amazing rock my whole life.”

McCall was estranged from her birth mother, Florence McCall, who died in 2008.

Kate coming out of the Big Brother house in 2002
Image:
McCall with 2002 Big Brother winner Kate Lawler. Pic: Rex Features

With a catch in her voice, McCall went on: “I’ve got a massive dose of vitamin G – I’m just really grateful. I’ve always been really lucky in my life, but I feel unbelievably grateful right now. So, thanks for everything, all of you.

“I’m on the mend, I’m resting and sleeping loads and I feel really good. I’m just very lucky.”

Stars including presenter Alison Hammond, singer Craig David and radio host Zoe Ball quickly shared their delight at the positive update.

McCall rose to fame presenting on MTV in the mid-1990s, and later on Channel 4’s Streetmate, before becoming a household name as the host of Big Brother from 2000 to 2010.

Davina McCall  with her partner Michael Douglas and her daughter Holly Robertson after being made a Member of the Order of the British Empire
Pic: PA
Image:
McCall with her MBE, alongside her partner Michael Douglas and her daughter Holly Robertson. Pic: PA

She’s gone on to present programmes across the networks, the most recent being ITV dating show My Mum, Your Dad.

Last year, McCall was appointed Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) in the 2023 Birthday Honours for services to broadcasting.

Married twice, McCall has three children, two daughters and a son, with her second husband, presenter Matthew Robertson.

She has lived with Douglas since 2022, and they present a weekly lifestyle podcast together, Making The Cut.

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Barbara Taylor Bradford, the ‘grand dame of blockbusters’, dies aged 91

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Barbara Taylor Bradford, the 'grand dame of blockbusters', dies aged 91

Barbara Taylor Bradford, the bestselling novelist who wrote A Woman Of Substance, has died at the age of 91.

The Leeds-born author, who sold more than 90 million books, died peacefully at her home on Sunday after a short illness and was “surrounded by loved ones to the very end”, a spokeswoman said.

Taylor Bradford, who was often labelled “the grand dame of blockbusters”, hit the big time when A Woman Of Substance was published in 1979, making her an overnight success.

The story sold millions of copies and traced the journey of Emma Harte from life as a servant in rural Yorkshire to heading a business empire.

The rags to riches story was followed by many other successful books with the author’s works being published in more than 40 languages across 90 countries.

Barbara Taylor Bradford,.
Pic: Caroll Taveras/Bradford Enterprises/PA
Image:
Pic: Caroll Taveras/Bradford Enterprises/PA

Barbara Taylor Bradford on her 21st birthday.
Pic: Bradford Enterprises/PA
Image:
The author on her 21st birthday. Pic: Bradford Enterprises/PA

Charlie Redmayne, chief executive of publisher HarperCollins, said the author was a “natural storyteller”, adding: “Barbara Taylor Bradford was a truly exceptional writer whose first book, the international bestseller A Woman Of Substance, changed the lives of so many who read it – and still does to this day.”

Taylor Bradford, who was made an OBE in 2007 for services to literature, wrote a total of 40 novels during her career – her most recent was The Wonder Of It All, published last year.

Barbara Taylor Bradford.
Pic: Caroll Taveras/Bradford Enterprises/PA
Image:
Pic: Caroll Taveras/Bradford Enterprises/PA

File photo dated 01/06/93 of Barbara Taylor Bradford with her husband Robert at Claridges Hotel, London, during a visit to launch her new blockbuster book "Angels". Bestselling novelist Barbara Taylor Bradford, who wrote A Woman of Substance, has died at the age of 91, it has been announced. Issue date: Monday November 25, 2024.
Image:
Taylor Bradford with her husband Robert in 1993. Pic: PA

Born in May 1933 as the only child of Winston and Freda Taylor, she worked as a typist for the Yorkshire Evening Post before becoming a reporter and then the paper’s first woman’s editor.

At the age of 20, she moved to London and worked in Fleet Street for Woman’s Own and the London Evening News.

She met her husband, American film producer Robert Bradford, in 1961 and they married in London on Christmas Eve in 1963 before moving to New York the following year.

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The couple were married for 55 years until he died from a stroke in 2019.

Following a private funeral in New York, the author will be buried alongside her late husband at the city’s Westchester Hills Cemetery.

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