Connect with us

Published

on

Inspirational thought of the week:

You’re not in Kansas anymore
Can’t be too careful that’s for sure
City lights will lead you on
Morning comes and they’ll be gone
So, write my number on your wall
And call me anytime at all
I’m so happy now, boy
You’re not in Kansas anymore

— “You’re Not in Kansas Anymore” Jo Dee Messina

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the safe where Mike Leach keeps the $10,000 per kid he offered for them to elope and none took it, we have spent this first week of October watching and rewatching “The Wizard of Oz” while simultaneously listening to “Dust in the Wind” and sniffing a sunflower while also gnawing on a barbecue rib.

Why? Because after spending so many years of watching bad football played in a stadium as barren as the Great Plains that surround it, now the entire college football world is migrating to Lawrence, Kansas, to see the 5-0, 19th-ranked Artists Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks … and we aren’t invited.

I mean, you’d think College GameDay would at least call and ask us to sit with the Bear and provide some perspective gleaned from remaining dedicated to keeping tabs on a team that won 23 games over the dozen seasons before this one, right? A team that was as much a part of these rankings as Pillow Fights of the Week, the Coveted Fifth Spot and making fun of Randy Edsall. A program that was so bad for so long that we have annually included former head coach Charlie Weis on our Bottom 10 Playoff Selection Committee.

You really think Rece Davis has spent as much time watching Kansas over the past decade? OK, that’s a bad example. Rece watches every game and knows every player’s name and where they grew up and what their parents do for a living … but you get the point here, don’t you?

Though we may not be invited, we will be watching from afar. Like a dad on that pivotal day of high school when his child first turns to him and says, “Just drop me off at the corner and I’ll walk from there. I’m a cool kid now and I don’t want you to embarrass me.”

OK, Big Jay, have fun eating lunch at the middle table in the cafeteria with the cheerleaders and lettermen. Just know that when you inevitably snort milk through your beak when you laugh or trip over your own claws or fail to cover against the TCU Horned Frogs, the Plastics will once again turn on you. And we’ll be waiting around the corner, the ones in the repossessed U-Haul truck with bald tires, Kansas plates and the “2008 Insight Bowl Champions” bumper sticker.

With apologies to Paul Rudd, Mandy Patinkin and L. Frank Baum, here’s our post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Colora-duh (0-5)

The Buffs take over the top spot, running past their instate rivals faster than Ralphie now sprints back to his trailer asking to get the hell out of Boulder and go back to his barn. Why? Because they fired not just the head coach, but the defensive coordinator as well. The interim head coach is offensive coordinator Mike Sanford, whom we all remember as the guy who led the Western Kentucky Hillstoppers to a spot in these rankings in 2018. Mike Sanford is actually Mike Sanford Jr., son of Mike Sanford, who coached unLv to multiple Bottom 10 rankings in the mid-2000’s. That whole paragraph reads better if you go back and read it aloud while also playing the theme from “Sanford and Son.”

2. Colora-duh State (0-4)

The Rams followed up their stunning Week 4 loss to Sacramento State with an even more shocking 21-3 loss to Open Date.

3. Huh-Why?-Yuh (1-4)

The Warriors managed to escape their own defeat against the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U., but only because the visitors fell asleep on the beach.

4. Fres-No State (1-4)

How does a team jump/fall from the trailing edge of the Bottom 10 Waiting List all the way to No. 4? By losing on the road at UCan’t after being favored to defeat the Huskies by 23 points, that’s how. So, it takes over this spot that was occupied by Connecticut one week ago and UConn — wait … did UConn leave the Bottom 10 and move onto the Waiting List? That’s even more depressing than the whole Kansas thing!

5. The 13th Man (3-2)

Jimbo Fisher is slated to make $90 million over the next 10 years. In related news, $90 million was also the reported production budget for 2019’s movie version of “Cats.”

6. UMess (1-4)

The Minutemen fell to a former Bottom 10 regular, the Eastern Michigan University Emus. Over the remainder of the season, UMess will run through a banana peel gauntlet of current Bottom 10 contenders from Whew Mexico State and Arkansaw State to UCan’t and … oh looky there on Nov. 19 … it’s Texas A&M! Meanwhile, EMU faces Western Michigan before hosting…

7. Northern Ill-ugh-noise (1-4)

The Other Huskies were upset by Baller State in a clash of then-1-3 teams, the first act of a two-act Pillow Fight of the Week #MACtion Double Feature. Now everything that transpires in the MAC feels like a muddy trudge to a regular season finale that is sure to put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving, a Nov. 26 visit from…

8. Akronmonious (1-4)

The Zips lost by three at home to fellow 1-3 MAC daddy Boiling Green. Now they play Ohio Not Ohio State, which has won 13 of the past 14 against Akron. Oddly, Akron and Ohio don’t have any sort of rivalry trophy, despite being in the same state, only three hours apart. Akron and Kent State have the Wagon Wheel. Maybe Ohio and Akron should have the Wheelhouse, as in, “Here at Ohio, beating Akron is always in our Wheelhouse.”

9. Charlotte 1-and-5ers

It could be worse. They could be Charlotte’s other football team, the Carolina Panthers.

10. Whew Mexico State (1-4)

The Other Aggies made a statement by beating Hawai’i and leaving the top bottom spot in these rankings. But then they made another statement by losing to Bottom 10 Waiting Listers FI(not A)U at home. What kind of statement will they make this weekend when they play no one? Because you could make a pretty good argument that they already played no one over the past two weeks and they still only hit .500.

Waiting List: U-Can’t, US(not C)F, Georgia State Not Southern, Arizona Skate, Strandford, FI(notA)U, Utah State Other Other Aggies, Lose-iana Tech, firing a guy who had you in the Rose Bowl like 10 minutes ago.

Continue Reading

Sports

Buckeyes seize No. 1; LSU, Canes rise as Tide fall

Published

on

By

Buckeyes seize No. 1; LSU, Canes rise as Tide fall

Ohio State climbed to No. 1 in the Associated Press Top 25 college football poll on Tuesday, LSU and Miami moved into the top five, and Florida State jumped back into the rankings at the expense of Alabama, which plummeted to its lowest spot in 17 seasons.

The defending national champion Buckeyes received 55 of 66 first-place votes to move up two spots after their win over preseason No. 1 Texas. Ohio State is at the top of a regular-season poll for the first time since November 2015.

The Longhorns dropped to No. 7 as the media voters shuffled the rankings following a topsy-turvy Labor Day weekend. It was only the second time — and first since 1972 — that two top-five teams lost in Week 1 and the first time that four top-10 teams lost.

Only three teams in the Top 25 are in the same spot they were in the preseason poll.

Penn State got seven first-place votes and remained No. 2. LSU, which received three first first-place votes, was followed by Georgia and Miami to round out the top five.

Oregon got the other first-place vote and was followed by Texas, the Clemson Tigers, Notre Dame and South Carolina.

LSU jumped six spots after winning at Clemson and Miami got a five-rung promotion for its victory over Notre Dame.

The biggest movers in the poll were Florida State and Alabama after the Seminoles’ 31-17 victory in their head-to-head matchup.

The Seminoles, who were 15 spots outside the Top 25 in the preseason, are now No. 14. The Crimson Tide fell all the way from No. 8 to No. 21 — their lowest ranking since Bama was No. 24 in the 2008 preseason poll. That was the second of Nick Saban’s 17 teams in Tuscaloosa.

It’s been quite a turnabout for Florida State. The Seminoles were No. 10 in the 2024 preseason, lost their first two games, finished 2-10 and weren’t ranked again until now.

Utah, at No. 25, joins Florida State as the only newcomers to this week’s poll. The Utes are ranked for the first time since last October, when they were at the front end of a seven-game losing streak.

Utah had received the second-most points, behind BYU, among teams outside the preseason Top 25, but the Utes got more credit for beating UCLA on the road than the Cougars received for hammering FCS foe Portland State.

Boise State, which had been No. 25, received no votes following its 34-7 loss at South Florida. The Broncos had appeared in 14 straight polls.

The other team to drop out of the poll was No. 17 Kansas State, which followed up its season-opening loss to Iowa State with a last-minute home win over FCS team North Dakota.

Ohio State is the first team to take over the top spot in the first regular-season poll since Alabama in 2012. It was the biggest jump to No. 1 in the first regular-season poll since USC was promoted from No. 3 in 2008.

Texas’ fall was the biggest for a preseason No. 1 since Auburn dropped to No. 8 in the first regular-season poll of 1984.

LSU has its highest ranking after Week 1 since it was No. 3 in 2012, and Miami has its highest ranking after Week 1 since it was No. 5 in 2004.

South Carolina is in the top 10 in the regular season for the first time since it was No. 8 in December 2013.

CONFERENCE CALL

SEC: 10 (Nos. 3, 4, 7, 10, 13, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)

Big Ten: 6 (Nos. 1, 2, 6, 11, 15, 23)

ACC: 4 (Nos. 5, 8, 14, 17)

Big 12: 4 (Nos. 12, 16, 24, 25)

Independent: 1 (No. 9)

RANKED VS. RANKED

No. 15 Michigan at No. 18 Oklahoma: This weekend’s game will be the first meeting since Oklahoma beat the Wolverines in the Orange Bowl to win the 1975 national championship. Wolverines freshman QB Bryce Underwood gets put to the test in his second start.

Continue Reading

Sports

Hold that, Tiger: Kelly asks if Dabo saw 2nd half

Published

on

By

Hold that, Tiger: Kelly asks if Dabo saw 2nd half

While Dabo Swinney isn’t inflating LSU‘s grade for beating his team in Saturday’s season opener, Brian Kelly is ready to give the Clemson coach an incomplete for his evaluation.

Both coaches weighed in Tuesday on how LSU’s 17-10 win at Clemson should be viewed. After trailing 10-3 at halftime, LSU outscored Clemson 14-0 in the second half and finished with significant edges in both total yards (354-261) and first downs (25-13).

LSU rose six spots to No. 3 in the AP Top 25 poll Tuesday, while Clemson dropped four spots to No. 8.

“It was a helluva game, down to the last play,” Swinney said in his weekly news conference. “Right out of the gate. It’s like getting the final exam [on] Day 1 of class. They made a 65; we made a 58. Neither one of us were great.”

Kelly had not won a season opener at LSU before Saturday, and the victory was his first with the Tigers against an AP top-5 opponent.

“I thought we dominated them in the second half, so he’s really a really good grader for giving himself a 58, or he’s a really hard grader on us,” Kelly said in his news conference when told about Swinney’s comment.

“Or he didn’t see the second half, which, that might be the case. He might not have wanted to see the second half.”

Kelly added that LSU is moving on to this week’s game against Louisiana Tech.

“Clemson is a darn good football team,” Kelly said. “That’s a top-notch team, and they’re going to be a team in the hunt for [the] playoff picture. We hope we are, too. But it was only one game. So I don’t know if he’s a hard grader or an easy grader, but I like the way that we played in the second half.”

Clemson visits LSU to open the 2026 season.

Continue Reading

Sports

Venables: Michigan’s Underwood ‘a little different’

Published

on

By

Venables: Michigan's Underwood 'a little different'

Oklahoma coach Brent Venables said Bryce Underwood “looks to be wise beyond his years” and compared Michigan‘s freshman quarterback to former Clemson national championship QB Trevor Lawrence on Tuesday ahead of the No. 18 Sooners’ Week 2 visit from the No. 15 Wolverines.

Underwood, ESPN’s No. 1 overall recruit in the 2025 class, will make his second career start at Oklahoma on Saturday (7:30 p.m. ET, ABC).

The coveted freshman earned Michigan’s starting job at the end of fall camp, beating out a collection of experienced passers on the depth chart including offseason portal additions Mikey Keene (Fresno State) and Jake Garcia (East Carolina). Underwood delivered a smooth college debut against New Mexico in Week 1, completing 21 of 31 passes for 251 yards and a touchdown in Michigan’s 34-17 win.

At Oklahoma, Underwood is set to face a much stiffer challenge against Venables, who resumed control of the Sooners’ defensive playcalling ahead of the 2024 season, and an experienced defense that held Illinois State to 151 yards of total offense in Week 1.

The former Clemson defensive coordinator compared Underwood to Lawrence, the five-star quarterback prospect who started as a freshman in 2018 and led the Tigers to a national championship win over Alabama.

“He’s a little different,” Venables said of Underwood. “It reminds me a lot of a Trevor Lawrence. Quick. Decisive. Accurate. Poised. Tough. Consistent. There’s a reason he was the No. 1 player in America. And he’s got a maturity and a work ethic and leadership agility to go along with that.”

As Oklahoma seeks to rebound from a 6-7 finish last fall, a new-look Sooners offense will get a test of its own Saturday.

Behind transfer QB John Mateer and first-year offensive coordinator Ben Arbuckle, Oklahoma gained 495 yards of offense in its 35-3, season-opening win over Illinois State. Mateer, who arrived in the offseason from Washington State alongside Arbuckle, passed Baker Mayfield for the most passing yards by an Oklahoma QB in a debut with 392 yards.

On Tuesday, Venables highlighted the Wolverines’ experience on defense, particularly in the front seven, as a defining challenge for the Sooners in an intriguing Week 2 matchup between two of college football’s most storied brands.

“[It’s] a defense that for the last several years has been one of the gold standards of college football when it comes to playing good defense,” Venables said. “It’s going to be a great physical matchup, and for us, a great litmus test to where we’re at.”

Continue Reading

Trending