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Inspirational thought of the week:

Monday morning on the floor
Keep calling out for more and more
Stand up and get up, are you sure?
Best friend kicks you out the door
Upside down you lost the wheel
Raise your neck and bellow it out

Bad candy has got you now
Bad candy has got you now

— “Bad Candy,” Twisted Wheel

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located across the hallway from the mail room where David Pollack sends out his weekly handwritten complaints to referees to politely dispute every targeting call ever made, we are rifling through the bottom of the pillowcase we used on Halloween, sifting through that always sad selection of sweets that is left over as November arrives and trick-or-treating begins to grow smaller in our rearview mirrors.

No, it’s not a collection of Charlie Brown rocks, but there is a pile of those brown and orange wax paper-covered blobs that might as well be rocks. There’s the telltale dust of tasteless Necco Wafers that escaped from their wrappers to be pulverized into the cloth of the bag. There are Mary Janes, whatever those are. There’s candy corn with the skid mark of fake chocolate in the middle.

And look … there’s a sticker of the UMass logo, loose with lint and a toenail clipping stuck to the back of it. There’s an old No. 2 pencil that was stolen from a classroom at Akron. Then … wait … what’s this? An envelope? With the University of Connecticut seal in the corner? What’s inside? Is that … University of Maryland letterhead? It is! It has a $100 bill stapled to it. And what’s this note that’s scribbled on the stationery?

“Dear Kid. Here’s some of my bonus money from that time my team kicked a field goal against Liberty, triggering my ‘Field Goal In Every Game Even If It’s A Loss’ bonus. Now, take it and get the hell off my lawn. Boo. Sincerely, Randy Edsall.”

With apologies to Willy Wonka, West Virginia safety Hershey McLaurin and Steve Harvey, here’s the post-Week 9 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. UMess (1-7)

The Minutemen served as the latest rung in the ladder Whew Mexico State has stepped on during their climb from being ranked at the top/bottom of these standings up and into the outside world. Think that scene in “The Dark Knight Rises” when Bruce Wayne climbs out of that giant prison hole, but if you could actually understand what anyone was saying. Come to think of it, the desert he found himself in kind of looked like Las Cruces. Next the Minutemen play The Artist Formerly Known As UCant, which is now in the business of putting teams in the Bottom 10 in their place. In related news, ESPN.com editor Steve Richards was on site as our Bottom 10 bureau reporter, but sources tell me he was escorted off the premises after repeatedly heckling the Other Aggies for “abandoning us!”

2. Akronmonious (1-8)

Speaking of teams that used to be in these rankings all the time but now are actually good — wait, don’t be confused, that wasn’t about Akron. It 100 percent deserves to be there. But it also is currently located in the midst of a schedule section packed with former Bottom 10 friends who have inexplicably left us behind. Akron just lost in overtime to My Hammy of Ohio, which is now only one game below .500. Now Akron faces the former Bottom 10 champion Eastern Michigan University Emus and the former contender Buffalo Bulls Not Bills, who have been to a combined seven bowl games since 2016. Then Akron will zip over to Northern Ill-ugh-noise for Thanksgiving, when we might all be thankful for a potential Pillow Fight of the End of the Year.

3. Colora-duh (1-7)

Speaking of Pillow Fights of the Week, the Buffs were rebuffed by then-Bottom 10 Wait Listers Arizona Skate. Both teams showed up for the game without a full-time head coach. It was like that time we had a class field trip to the zoo in third grade and the teacher forgot to show up. My pal Jody Blanton drove the bus over 30 mailboxes and 19 shrubs, but we got there.

4. No-vada (2-7)

The Oof Pack lost their seventh straight game. It’s the worst streak in Reno involving the word straight since a banker from Los Angeles tried to play a Broadway straight by using a queen of hearts that he’d snuck onto the Circus Circus casino floor inside his Members Only jacket sleeve and was last seen riding on a bass boat at Lake Tahoe alongside a hotel sales associate named Vinny Drywall.

5. “I’m a man I’m (losing by) forty (eight)!” (6-2)

Ah, the traditions of autumn. Leaves falling. Pumpkin spice everywhere. Political ads ruining everyone’s good mood. Oklahoma State losing a game that knocked them out of the Top 10 and into the Coveted Fifth Spot.

6. US(notC)F (1-6)

In Jeff Scott’s defense, it can’t be easy trying to coach your own team when your phone is constantly being blown up by Dabo Swinney asking, “Hey, bud, can you refresh my memory about those plays we used to run back in 2017?”

7. Temple of Doom (2-7)

The Temple Bowels have, er, passed a lot of teams this week thanks to back-to-back losses to a pair of Bottom 10 flirts in Living On Tulsa Time and Navy. Now, they host USF in the Pillow Fight of the Week. The Owls’ feathers are molting so badly that according to the magically and disturbingly accurate ESPN FPI computers, they have only a 40% chance of prevailing at home against a team with one win that is ranked one spot ahead/below them in these rankings. Then again, maybe as they were doing research for this game, the ESPN Stats & Info staffers ordered up some Philly cheesesteaks and got Cheez Whiz all over their calculators.

8. North by Northworstern (1-7)

Speaking of crunching numbers, there are a lot of really smart human calculators at Northwestern, home to one of Earth’s most respected mathematics and statistics departments. Perhaps they can explain how a team surrenders 33 points to Iowa, which has spent all fall avoiding end zones as if they were full of killer bees.

9. Huh-why-yuh (2-7)

The Rainbow Warriors will finish the season facing a quartet of fellow Mountain West members in Fresno State, Utah State, UNLV and San Jose State. The bad news? According to FPI, over the month they will average around a 22% chance of winning any one of those games. The good news? If they go 0-4 and make a late run at the Bottom 10 title, they will still spend their offseason in Hawai’i.

10. #gobc(c) (2-6)

Boston College and UConn are located only 80 miles apart, yet last weekend was just the 15th meeting since their first matchup back on Nov. 7, 1908. It was also the Huskies’ first-ever win over the Eagles. That’s what happens when you score only three points. Unless you’re Miami and Virginia and you only score three points, but you just keep doing that over and over again. Reminder: BC beat Louisville, who just crushed Wake Forest, who beat Florida State, who beat LSU, who beat Ole Miss, who beat Miami, who beat Virginia Tech, who beat Boston College who … aw hell, I give up. #goacc indeed.

Waiting List: Charlotte 2-and-7ers, Virginia Tech No-kies, Lose-iana Tech, Arkan-saw State, Northern Ill-ugh-noise, Central not Western or Eastern Michigan, Whew Mexico, ULM (pronounced “Uhlm”), political ads during great games, saying “Let’s ride!”

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Nats seek ‘fresh approach,’ fire Martinez, Rizzo

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Nats seek 'fresh approach,' fire Martinez, Rizzo

The last-place Washington Nationals fired president of baseball operations Mike Rizzo and manager Davey Martinez, the team announced Sunday.

Rizzo, 64, and Martinez, 60, won a World Series with the Nationals in 2019, but the team has floundered in recent years. This season, the Nationals are 37-53 and stuck at the bottom of the National League East after getting swept by the Boston Red Sox this weekend at home. Washington hasn’t finished higher than fourth in the division since winning the World Series.

“On behalf of our family and the Washington Nationals organization, I first and foremost want to thank Mike and Davey for their contributions to our franchise and our city,” principal owner Mark Lerner said in a statement. “Our family is eternally grateful for their years of dedication to the organization, including their roles in bringing a World Series trophy to Washington, D.C.

“While we are appreciative of their past successes, the on-field performance has not been where we or our fans expect it to be. This is a pivotal time for our club, and we believe a fresh approach and new energy is the best course of action for our team moving forward.”

Mike DeBartolo, the club’s senior vice president and assistant general manager, was named interim GM on Sunday night. DeBartolo will oversee all aspects of baseball operations, including the MLB draft. An announcement will be made on the interim manager Monday, a day before the club begins a series against the St. Louis Cardinals.

Rizzo has been the top decision-maker in Washington since 2013, and Martinez has been on board since 2018. Under Rizzo’s leadership, the team made the postseason four times: in 2014, 2016, 2017 and 2019. The latter season was Martinez’s lone playoff appearance.

“When our family assumed control of the team, nearly 20 years ago, Mike was the first hire we made,” Lerner said. “Over two decades, he was with us as we went from a fledging team in a new city to World Series champion. Mike helped make us who we are as an organization, and we’re so thankful to him for his hard work and dedication — not just on the field and in the front office, but in the community as well.”

The Nationals are in the midst of a rebuild that has moved slower than expected, though the team didn’t augment its young core much during the winter. Led by All-Stars James Wood and MacKenzie Gore, Washington has the second-youngest group of hitters in MLB and the sixth-youngest pitching staff.

The team lost 11 straight games in a forgettable stretch last month. And during a 2-10 run in June, Washington averaged just 2.5 runs. Since June 1, the Nationals have scored one run or been shut out seven times. In Sunday’s 6-4 loss to Boston, they left 15 runners on base.

There was industry speculation over the winter that the Nationals would spend money on free agents for the first time in several years, but that never materialized. Instead, the team made minor moves, signing free agents Josh Bell and Michael Soroka, trading for first baseman Nathaniel Lowe and re-signing closer Kyle Finnegan. Now, the hope is a new management team, both on and off the field, can help change the franchise’s fortunes.

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Kershaw gets special ASG invite; no Soto, Betts

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Kershaw gets special ASG invite; no Soto, Betts

The rosters for the 2025 MLB All-Star Game will feature 19 first-timers — and one legend — as the pitchers and reserves were announced Sunday for the July 15 contest at Truist Park in Atlanta.

Los Angeles Dodgers left-hander Clayton Kershaw, a three-time Cy Young Award winner who made his first All-Star team in 2011, was named to his 11th National League roster as a special commissioner’s selection.

Kershaw, who became only the fourth left-hander to amass 3,000 career strikeouts, is 4-0 with a 3.43 ERA in nine starts after beginning the season on the injured list. He joins Albert Pujols and Miguel Cabrera as a legend choice, after the pair of sluggers were selected in 2022.

Kershaw said he didn’t want to discuss the selection Sunday.

Among the first-time All-Stars announced Sunday: Dodgers teammate Yoshinobu Yamamoto; Washington Nationals outfielder James Wood and left-hander MacKenzie Gore; Houston Astros ace Hunter Brown and shortstop Jeremy Pena; and Chicago Cubs 34-year-old left-hander Matthew Boyd.

“It’ll just be cool being around some of the best players in the game,” Wood said.

First-time All-Stars previously elected to start by the fans include Seattle Mariners catcher Cal Raleigh, Athletics shortstop Jacob Wilson, Baltimore Orioles designated hitter Ryan O’Hearn and Cubs center fielder Pete Crow-Armstrong.

Overall, the 19 first-time All-Stars is a drop from the 32 first-time selections on the initial rosters in 2024.

Kershaw would be the sentimental choice to start for the National League, although Pittsburgh Pirates ace Paul Skenes, who leads NL pitchers in ERA and WAR, might be in line to start his second straight contest. Philadelphia Phillies right-hander Zack Wheeler, a three-time All-Star, is 9-3 with a 2.17 ERA after Sunday’s complete-game victory and also would be a strong candidate to start.

“I think it would be stupid to say no to that. It’s a pretty cool opportunity,” Skenes said about the possibility of being asked to start by Dodgers manager Dave Roberts. “I didn’t make plans over the All-Star break or anything. So, yeah, I’m super stoked.”

Kershaw has made one All-Star start in his career, in 2022 at Dodger Stadium.

Among standout players not selected were New York Mets outfielder Juan Soto, who signed a $765 million contract as a free agent in the offseason, and Dodgers shortstop Mookie Betts, who had made eight consecutive All-Star rosters since 2016.

Soto got off to a slow start but was the National League Player of the Month in June and entered Sunday ranked sixth in the NL in WAR among position players while ranking second in OBP, eighth in OPS and third in runs scored.

The players vote for the reserves at each position and selected Wood, Corbin Carroll of the Arizona Diamondbacks and Fernando Tatis Jr. of the San Diego Padres as the backup outfielders. Kyle Stowers also made it as a backup outfielder as the representative for the Miami Marlins.

Unless Soto later is added as an injury replacement, he’ll miss his first All-Star Game since his first full season in 2019.

The Dodgers lead all teams with five representatives: Kershaw, Yamamoto and starters Shohei Ohtani, Freddie Freeman and Will Smith. The AL-leading Detroit Tigers (57-34) and Mariners have four each.

Tigers ace Tarik Skubal will join AL starters Riley Greene, Gleyber Torres and Javier Baez, while Raleigh, the AL’s starting catcher, will be joined by Seattle teammates Bryan Woo, Andres Munoz and Julio Rodriguez.

Earning his fifth career selection but first since 2021 is Texas Rangers righty Jacob deGrom, who is finally healthy after making only nine starts in his first two seasons with the Rangers and is 9-2 with a 2.13 ERA. He has never started an All-Star Game, although Skubal or Brown would be the favorite to start for the AL.

The hometown Braves will have three All-Stars in Acuna, pitcher Chris Sale (his ninth selection, tied with Freeman for the second most behind Kershaw) and first baseman Matt Olson. The San Francisco Giants had three pitchers selected: Logan Webb, Robbie Ray and reliever Randy Rodriguez.

The slumping New York Yankees ended up with three All-Stars: Aaron Judge, Jazz Chisholm Jr. and Max Fried. The Mets also earned three All-Star selections: Francisco Lindor, Pete Alonso and Edwin Diaz.

“Red carpet, that’s my thing,” Chisholm said. “I do have a ‘fit in mind.”

Rosters are expanded from 26 to 32 for the All-Star Game. They include starters elected by fans, 17 players (five starting pitchers, three relievers and a backup for each position) chosen in a player vote and six players (four pitchers and two position players) selected by league officials. Every club must be represented.

Acuna, Wood and Raleigh are the three All-Stars who have so far committed to participating in the Home Run Derby.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Bellinger rescues Yankees to avoid Subway sweep

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Bellinger rescues Yankees to avoid Subway sweep

NEW YORK — The New York Yankees were seemingly in deep trouble Sunday when Juan Soto cracked a pitch to left field in the seventh inning.

The New York Mets, down two runs, were cooking up a rally with no outs. Francisco Lindor stood at first base, Pete Alonso loomed on deck, and Brandon Nimmo was in the hole. This was the heart of the Mets’ potent lineup. Given the Yankees’ recent woes, fumbling their two-run lead and suffering a Subway Series sweep at the hands of their neighbors — and a seventh straight loss — seemed almost fated.

Then Cody Bellinger charged Soto’s sinking 105 mph line drive, made a shoestring catch and fired a strike to first base for an improbable double play to secure a skid-snapping 6-4 win — and perhaps rescue the Yankees from another dreadful outcome.

“Considering the context of this week and everything,” Yankees manager Aaron Boone said, “that’s probably our play of the year so far.”

Soto’s line drive off Mark Leiter Jr. had a 10% catch probability, according to Statcast, but Bellinger, a plus defender at multiple positions who started at first base Saturday, was just able to snatch it before it touched the grass. Certain that he caught it clean, he made an 89.9 mph toss that reached first baseman Paul Goldschmidt on a line, over Lindor, who didn’t slide into the bag.

“I saw it in the air and had a really good beat on it,” said Bellinger, who went 2-for-3 with a double and a walk at the plate.

The Mets challenged the catch, but the call stood.

“That was incredible,” said Yankees right fielder Aaron Judge, who swatted his 33rd home run of the season in the fifth inning. “I’ve never seen something like that on the field.”

For the past week, a stretch Boone described as “terrible” for his ballclub, poor defense has been an issue for the Yankees. Physical errors. Mental lapses. Near disasters. The sloppiness helped sink a depleted pitching staff, more than offsetting the offense’s strong production.

That combination produced the team’s second six-game losing streak in three weeks and a three-game deficit in the American League East standings behind the first-place Toronto Blue Jays.

The surging Blue Jays won again Sunday to extend their winning streak to seven games and keep their division lead at three games, but Bellinger’s glove and arm ensured it didn’t grow to four.

“That was an unbelievable play,” Goldschmidt said. “Amazing catch and absolute cannon to me at first. To make that play was a game-changing play and potentially game-winning play for us today. And we needed it.”

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