The cost of freedom: Domestic abuse survivors forced to stay with abusers amid rising cost of living
It took seven years for Abigail to break free of her abusive relationship, but as the cost of living crisis deepens there are concerns others may not be able to break free.
More than three-quarters of domestic abuse survivors (77%) are finding it harder to escape these relationships, the charity Refuge has warned, as people are forced to choose between remaining with their abusive partner or risk destitution.
For almost a decade, Abigail (not her real name) was subjected to physical, mental, financial and sexual abuse – with the attacks becoming so violent on one occasion, she miscarried.
“The last resort for me was he drugged and violently raped me,” she told Sky News.
“And I think for me that was a wake-up call – because I could hardly walk. I just thought this person could kill me.”
But with her abuser’s name on the house, she was reliant on him financially and had to go to court to get him to take his name off the house.
“Simply put – I wouldn’t have been able to leave my abuser if this crisis was happening when I was trying to flee 10 years ago,” she said.
“I felt trapped as it was. One of the elements of abuse he used against me was financial. Alongside the physical and emotional abuse this economic abuse had a big impact when it came to leaving, he controlled everything.”
Abusers taking advantage of crisis
More than half of the frontline staff at Refuge said the cost of living crisis is leading survivors to return to their abusers.
Abigail’s partner would whisper in her ear: “He tried to tell me I was crazy. I couldn’t live without him.”
Refuge’s specialist technology-facilitated and economic empowerment team has seen an 87% increase in referrals for support with complex cases – they say this can be directly linked to the impact of the crisis.
The charity said it will need an additional £1m to address the growing costs of running its specialist services.
It warned perpetrators are also taking advantage of the cost of living crisis to increase economic abuse and control.
Some perpetrators restrict food and heating in an attempt to gain custody of children on the basis that survivors simply cannot afford to maintain a warm home and enough food.
Even seven years ago, setting out on her own was a struggle, said Abigail.
“At one point, I had £1.25 on my electric meter,” she said, adding that at one point she had to pay £1,500 in court costs towards the prosecution of her ex-partner.
He still owes Abigail thousands in child support.
As Christmas approaches, Abigail wants only the best for her four children – who were witnesses of the abuse – and has opened an Argos and Very account in a bid to afford presents.
“I have never had any credit cards before,” she said.
“I want to make sure my children have everything they want and need, but at the same time, I am already stressed when I think about how I am going to pay that off.”
Completely forgotten
One anonymous Refuge frontline worker said: “It feels like survivors of domestic abuse have been completely forgotten about in this crisis. I have clients whose financial situation is so difficult since fleeing that they are considering returning to their abuser.
“They are reliant on food and clothes banks, they have cancelled and cut back anything and everything they can, to be able to afford to pay their bills. This is having such a detrimental impact on survivors’ mental health and wellbeing.
“Some women are really worried about losing access to their children, they tell me that perpetrators are using this cost of living crisis to further their abuse, something we know as post-separation abuse.
“We are doing everything we can with the funding we have to support survivors – we are giving out more foodbank vouchers, more regularly and to more residents who are repeatedly requiring them, but this has led to foodbanks raising with us that they cannot repeatedly give out vouchers.”
Read more: Woman ‘trapped’ with abusive husband due to soaring energy prices
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What is coercive control?
Calls for emergency escape fund
Refuge has called on the government to create an Emergency Domestic Abuse Fund to help survivors flee their abusers. It welcomed the government uplifting benefits in line with inflation but implored it “not wait until next April to make this vital change”.
Ruth Davison, the charity’s CEO, said: “Survivors and their children are struggling now, and they need urgent action to weather the storm of price increases this winter. No one should be left choosing between ongoing abuse and violence or poverty and hunger.
“The reality is that nothing has changed for women and children experiencing domestic abuse in the autumn statement.”
The fund, she added, would ensure “no woman has to choose between financial stability and her physical safety”.
Some 94% of emotional abusers escape conviction, according to Home Office data – despite the fact incidents of controlling and coercive behaviour are on the rise.
The average cost of a divorce in the UK – including legal fees and lifestyle changes, such as needing to find new accommodation – is £14,561, a devastatingly high amount for people who may not have access to their own money.
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Figures from Surviving Economic Abuse and Money Advice Plus found 67% of survivors are already in a negative budget or have less than £100 surplus at the end of the month. They also have an average individual debt of £20,000 – six times more than in 2020, and it’s expected to get worse.
Shanika Hayes, a senior associate at Stowe Family Law, told Sky News: “They may not have their own employment, and even if they find themselves in a situation where they can leave and have their own source of income, their confidence is normally at the point where they feel like they are not worthy of that, or are not able to sustain that.”
For both men and women, the crisis is placing a strain on relationships that can see them edge into abuse.
“Financial issues can be a catalyst to abuse and it’s often the case that this is the straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Ms Hayes.
“Financial worries, whether that’s how they pay bills or increases to cost of living, that can worsen a relationship that is already abusive, or push one into that territory.”
Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline can be reached on 0808 2000 247, available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for free, confidential specialist support.
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UK
Police investigating criminal offence after Daily Telegraph columnist ‘dumbfounded’ by social media post probe
Essex Police say they are investigating an alleged criminal offence of inciting racial hatred, after Daily Telegraph columnist Allison Pearson said she was “dumbfounded and upset” when officers knocked on her door last Sunday.
Ms Pearson revealed she was told she was being investigated over a year-old deleted post online.
She said she wasn’t informed which post had been reported, but suggested it could have been related to the 7 October attacks in Israel or pro-Palestine marches.
She claimed the officers told her she was being investigated for a NCHI (a none crime hate incident) an incident involving an act which is perceived to be motivated by hostility or prejudice towards persons with a particular characteristic, but is not illegal.
NCHI reports have long been controversial, with many citing free speech concerns, and Ms Pearson’s account of the police visit has led to widespread support from Conservatives and online commentators, including Tory leader Kemi Badenoch.
But an Essex Police spokesperson has told Sky News its investigation was never for an NCHI, and that the matter was always being treated as an investigation into an alleged criminal offence of inciting racial hatred.
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Speaking on her Planet Normal podcast on Wednesday, Ms Pearson said she found the visit “chilling”.
“I was dumbfounded, upset, it’s not very nice,” she said. “I was in my dressing gown on the step of the house, these two coppers were there just outside the door.
“There were people gathering for the Remembrance Day parade so there were people watching from the other side of the road.
“Whatever I did or didn’t tweet, if somebody found it offensive, that to me is still not a reason for two policemen to come to my house on a Sunday morning.
“You know, they don’t do that for burglars, do they? We know policing is under-resourced and they are unable to attend often quite serious crimes.
“This was the most extraordinary overreach and state intrusion into my private life and I don’t think I did anything wrong and I think their response was outrageous.”
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In a statement, Essex Police said: “Officers attended an address in Essex and invited a woman to come to a voluntary interview.
“They said it related to an investigation into an alleged offence of inciting racial hatred, linked to a post on social media.
“For clarity: a complaint of a possible criminal offence was made to the police and this is why we called; to arrange an interview.
“Everyone was polite and professional throughout the brief conversation.”
They said an officer told Ms Pearson: “It’s gone down as an incident or offence of potentially inciting racial hatred online. That would be the offence.”
Essex Police say they have complained to the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO) over what they call “false reporting” regarding the ongoing investigation.
In an interview with The Telegraph published yesterday, Kemi Badenoch said police visiting a journalist over a social media post was “absolutely wrong” and that “we need to look at the laws around non-crime hate incidents”.
“There has been a long-running problem with people not taking free speech seriously,” she said.
She challenged the prime minister to review the laws, saying: “Keir Starmer says he is someone who believes in these things. Now he needs to actually show that he does believe it. All we’ve seen from him is the opposite.”
Ms Badenoch added: “We need to stop this behaviour of people wasting police time on trivial incidents because they don’t like something, as if they’re in a nursery.
“It’s like children reporting each other. And I think that in certain cases, the police do it because they’re afraid that if they don’t do it, they will also be accused of not taking these issues seriously.”
Essex Police said the officers went to the address to invite Ms Pearson to attend a voluntary interview as part of their investigation, which was passed to them by another force.
“The report relates to a social media post which was subsequently removed,” the statement read.
“An investigation is now being carried out under Section 17 of the Public Order Act.”
Essex Police also said they made attempts to contact Ms Pearson before the visit.
Other prominent Conservative voices such as Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and Chris Philp have also leapt to Ms Pearson’s defence online, as has X owner Elon Musk, who quoted a post about the incident and said: “This needs to stop.”
Police commentator Graham Wettone told Sky News the police are “duty bound to investigate allegations of crime”.
“They’ve had an allegation of crime made there,” he said. “They will investigate it. If at the end of this they decide that no criminal offence has been committed – and we’re not at that stage yet – then it can still be recorded as a none crime hate incident.”
The police, he said, are duty bound to keep a record of none crime hate incidents.
“Parliament said they want the police to do this, to investigate and record incidents like this. So they are doing exactly what parliament and society asked them to do, and they are getting criticism for doing what people want.”
UK
Sir Keir Starmer vows to defend budget decisions ‘all day long’ as farmers slam ‘disrespectful’ PM
Sir Keir Starmer has said he will defend the decisions made in the budget “all day long” amid anger from farmers over inheritance tax changes.
Chancellor Rachel Reeves announced last month in her key speech that from April 2026, farms worth more than £1m will face an inheritance tax rate of 20%, rather than the standard 40% applied to other land and property.
The announcement has sparked anger among farmers who argue this will mean higher food prices, lower food production and having to sell off land to pay for the tax.
Sir Keir defended the budget as he gave his first speech as prime minister at the Welsh Labour conference in Llandudno, North Wales, where farmers have been holding a tractor protest outside.
Sir Keir admitted: “We’ve taken some extremely tough decisions on tax.”
He said: “I will defend facing up to the harsh light of fiscal reality. I will defend the tough decisions that were necessary to stabilise our economy.
“And I will defend protecting the payslips of working people, fixing the foundations of our economy, and investing in the future of Britain and the future of Wales. Finally, turning the page on austerity once and for all.”
He also said the budget allocation for Wales was a “record figure” – some £21bn for next year – an extra £1.7bn through the Barnett Formula, as he hailed a “path of change” with Labour governments in Wales and Westminster.
And he confirmed a £160m investment zone in Wrexham and Flintshire will be going live in 2025.
‘PM should have addressed the protesters’
Among the hundreds of farmers demonstrating was Gareth Wyn Jones, who told Sky News it was “disrespectful” that the prime minister did not mention farmers in his speech.
He said “so many people have come here to air their frustrations. He (Starmer) had an opportunity to address the crowd. Even if he was booed he should have been man enough to come out and talk to the people”.
He said farmers planned to deliver Sir Keir a letter which begins with “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”.
Farmers’ tractor protest outside the Welsh Labour conference in Llandudno, North Wales
Mr Wyn Jones told Sky News the government was “destroying” an industry that was already struggling.
“They’re destroying an industry that’s already on its knees and struggling, absolutely struggling, mentally, emotionally and physically. We need government support not more hindrance so we can produce food to feed the nation.”
He said inheritance tax changes will result in farmers increasing the price of food: “The poorer people in society aren’t going to be able to afford good, healthy, nutritious British food, so we have to push this to government for them to understand that enough is enough, the farmers can’t take any more of what they’re throwing at us.”
Mr Wyn Jones disputed the government’s estimation that only 500 farming estates in the UK will be affected by the inheritance tax changes.
“Look, a lot of farmers in this country are in their 70s and 80s, they haven’t handed their farms down because that’s the way it’s always been, they’ve always known there was never going to be inheritance tax.”
On Friday, Sir Keir addressed farmers’ concerns, saying: “I know some farmers are anxious about the inheritance tax rules that we brought in two weeks ago.
“What I would say about that is, once you add the £1m for the farmland to the £1m that is exempt for your spouse, for most couples with a farm wanting to hand on to their children, it’s £3m before anybody pays a penny in inheritance tax.”
Read more:
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Welsh farmer Gareth Wyn Jones
Ministers said the move will not affect small farms and is aimed at targeting wealthy landowners who buy up farmland to avoid paying inheritance tax.
But analysis this week said a typical family farm would have to put 159% of annual profits into paying the new inheritance tax every year for a decade and could have to sell 20% of their land.
Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News
The Country and Land Business Association (CLA), which represents owners of rural land, property and businesses in England and Wales, found a typical 200-acre farm owned by one person with an expected profit of £27,300 would face a £435,000 inheritance tax bill.
The plan says families can spread the inheritance tax payments over 10 years, but the CLA found this would require an average farm to allocate 159% of its profits each year for a decade.
To pay that, successors could be forced to sell 20% of their land, the analysis found.
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