The cost of freedom: Domestic abuse survivors forced to stay with abusers amid rising cost of living
It took seven years for Abigail to break free of her abusive relationship, but as the cost of living crisis deepens there are concerns others may not be able to break free.
More than three-quarters of domestic abuse survivors (77%) are finding it harder to escape these relationships, the charity Refuge has warned, as people are forced to choose between remaining with their abusive partner or risk destitution.
For almost a decade, Abigail (not her real name) was subjected to physical, mental, financial and sexual abuse – with the attacks becoming so violent on one occasion, she miscarried.
“The last resort for me was he drugged and violently raped me,” she told Sky News.
“And I think for me that was a wake-up call – because I could hardly walk. I just thought this person could kill me.”
But with her abuser’s name on the house, she was reliant on him financially and had to go to court to get him to take his name off the house.
“Simply put – I wouldn’t have been able to leave my abuser if this crisis was happening when I was trying to flee 10 years ago,” she said.
“I felt trapped as it was. One of the elements of abuse he used against me was financial. Alongside the physical and emotional abuse this economic abuse had a big impact when it came to leaving, he controlled everything.”
Abusers taking advantage of crisis
More than half of the frontline staff at Refuge said the cost of living crisis is leading survivors to return to their abusers.
Abigail’s partner would whisper in her ear: “He tried to tell me I was crazy. I couldn’t live without him.”
Refuge’s specialist technology-facilitated and economic empowerment team has seen an 87% increase in referrals for support with complex cases – they say this can be directly linked to the impact of the crisis.
The charity said it will need an additional £1m to address the growing costs of running its specialist services.
It warned perpetrators are also taking advantage of the cost of living crisis to increase economic abuse and control.
Some perpetrators restrict food and heating in an attempt to gain custody of children on the basis that survivors simply cannot afford to maintain a warm home and enough food.
Even seven years ago, setting out on her own was a struggle, said Abigail.
“At one point, I had £1.25 on my electric meter,” she said, adding that at one point she had to pay £1,500 in court costs towards the prosecution of her ex-partner.
He still owes Abigail thousands in child support.
As Christmas approaches, Abigail wants only the best for her four children – who were witnesses of the abuse – and has opened an Argos and Very account in a bid to afford presents.
“I have never had any credit cards before,” she said.
“I want to make sure my children have everything they want and need, but at the same time, I am already stressed when I think about how I am going to pay that off.”
Completely forgotten
One anonymous Refuge frontline worker said: “It feels like survivors of domestic abuse have been completely forgotten about in this crisis. I have clients whose financial situation is so difficult since fleeing that they are considering returning to their abuser.
“They are reliant on food and clothes banks, they have cancelled and cut back anything and everything they can, to be able to afford to pay their bills. This is having such a detrimental impact on survivors’ mental health and wellbeing.
“Some women are really worried about losing access to their children, they tell me that perpetrators are using this cost of living crisis to further their abuse, something we know as post-separation abuse.
“We are doing everything we can with the funding we have to support survivors – we are giving out more foodbank vouchers, more regularly and to more residents who are repeatedly requiring them, but this has led to foodbanks raising with us that they cannot repeatedly give out vouchers.”
Read more: Woman ‘trapped’ with abusive husband due to soaring energy prices
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What is coercive control?
Calls for emergency escape fund
Refuge has called on the government to create an Emergency Domestic Abuse Fund to help survivors flee their abusers. It welcomed the government uplifting benefits in line with inflation but implored it “not wait until next April to make this vital change”.
Ruth Davison, the charity’s CEO, said: “Survivors and their children are struggling now, and they need urgent action to weather the storm of price increases this winter. No one should be left choosing between ongoing abuse and violence or poverty and hunger.
“The reality is that nothing has changed for women and children experiencing domestic abuse in the autumn statement.”
The fund, she added, would ensure “no woman has to choose between financial stability and her physical safety”.
Some 94% of emotional abusers escape conviction, according to Home Office data – despite the fact incidents of controlling and coercive behaviour are on the rise.
The average cost of a divorce in the UK – including legal fees and lifestyle changes, such as needing to find new accommodation – is £14,561, a devastatingly high amount for people who may not have access to their own money.
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Figures from Surviving Economic Abuse and Money Advice Plus found 67% of survivors are already in a negative budget or have less than £100 surplus at the end of the month. They also have an average individual debt of £20,000 – six times more than in 2020, and it’s expected to get worse.
Shanika Hayes, a senior associate at Stowe Family Law, told Sky News: “They may not have their own employment, and even if they find themselves in a situation where they can leave and have their own source of income, their confidence is normally at the point where they feel like they are not worthy of that, or are not able to sustain that.”
For both men and women, the crisis is placing a strain on relationships that can see them edge into abuse.
“Financial issues can be a catalyst to abuse and it’s often the case that this is the straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Ms Hayes.
“Financial worries, whether that’s how they pay bills or increases to cost of living, that can worsen a relationship that is already abusive, or push one into that territory.”
Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline can be reached on 0808 2000 247, available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for free, confidential specialist support.
Glasgow has been a city crying out for solutions to a devastating drugs epidemic that is ravaging people hooked on deadly narcotics.
We have spent time with vulnerable addicts in recent months and witnessed first-hand the dirty, dangerous street corners and back alleys where they would inject their £10 heroin hit, not knowing – or, in many cases, not caring – whether that would be the moment they die.
“Dying would be better than this life,” one man told me.
It was a grim insight into the daily reality of life in the capital of Europe’s drug death crisis.
Scotland has a stubborn addiction to substances spanning generations. Politicians of all persuasions have failed to properly get a grip of the emergency.
But there is a new concept in town.
From Monday, a taxpayer-funded unit is allowing addicts to bring their own heroin and cocaine and inject it while NHS medical teams supervise.
It may be a UK-first but it is a regular feature in some other major European cities that have claimed high success rates in saving lives.
Glasgow has looked on with envy at these other models.
One supermarket car park less than a hundred metres from this new facility is a perfect illustration of the problem. An area littered with dirty needles and paraphernalia. A minefield where one wrong step risks contracting a nasty disease.
Drugs paraphernalia in a supermarket car park in Glasgow, near the new facility
It is estimated hundreds of users inject heroin in public places in Glasgow every week. HIV has been rife.
The new building, which will be open from 9am until 9pm 365 days a year, includes bays where clean needles are provided as part of a persuasive tactic to lure addicts indoors in a controlled environment.
There is a welcome area where people will check in before being invited into one of eight bays. The room is clinical, covered in mirrors, with a row of small medical bins.
Clean needles are provided to lure addicts to inject in a controlled environment
There are eight bays users can inject in
We were shown the aftercare area where users will relax after their hit in the company of housing and social workers.
The idea is controversial and not cheap – £2.3m has been ring-fenced every year.
The aftercare area
Read more: ‘Dying would be better than my £1,000 a month heroin addiction’
Authorities in the city first floated a ‘safer drug consumption room’ in 2016. It failed to get off the ground as the UK Home Office under the Conservatives said they would not allow people to break the law to feed habits.
The usual wrangle between Edinburgh and London continued for years with Downing Street suggesting Scotland could, if it wanted, use its discretion to allow these injecting rooms to go ahead.
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The stalemate ended when Scotland’s most senior prosecutor issued a landmark decision that it would not be in the public interest to arrest those using such a facility.
One expert has told me this new concept is unlikely to lead to an overall reduction in deaths across Scotland. Another described it as an expensive vanity project. Supporters clearly disagree.
The question is what does success look like?
The big test will be if there is a spike in crime around the building and how it will work alongside law enforcement given drug dealers know exactly where to find their clients now.
It is not disputed this is a radical approach – and other cities across Britain will be watching closely.
Temperatures in northern parts of the UK could fall as low as minus 20C on Friday night as wintry weather continues, the Met Office has said.
There are yellow warnings for ice on Friday morning covering the eastern coast of England and Scotland, the South West, Wales and Northern Ireland.
There is also a yellow warning for snow and ice for northern Scotland. All the warnings expire before midday.
In addition, freezing fog is predicted across central and southeast England, and in parts of Wales, which may be “quite stubborn to clear” on Friday morning, said Met Office meteorologist Liam Eslick.
“It’s going to be another cold couple of days,” he added, and all areas of the UK are likely to experience sub-zero temperatures.
St Andrew’s church at Kiln Pit in Durham. Pic: PA
Friday night may bring the coldest temperatures of the current cold snap, with temperatures possibly plummeting as low as minus 15C or even minus 20C.
“That’s probably the lowest limits we’re expecting,” Mr Eslick said.
“We probably don’t really expect many places to get close to minus 20C, but we could see one or two places that could just touch that mark overnight Friday into Saturday.”
That is because of still conditions, high pressure, “not a lot of wind and clear skies”.
In addition, snow on the ground helps to create “sort of a perfect scenario to see those temperatures just plummet”, Mr Eslick added.
Saturday is also likely to be bitterly cold, while Sunday is forecast to be a little warmer.
On Monday, temperatures are expected to be more in line with the seasonal norm, at about seven or eight degrees Celcius.
A woman feeds ducks in a frosty High Wycombe. Pic: PA
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The freezing conditions have led to travel disruption, with Manchester Airport closing both its runways on Thursday morning because of “significant levels of snow”. They were later reopened.
Transport for Wales closed some railway lines because of damage to tracks.
Hundreds of schools in Scotland and about 90 in Wales were shut on Thursday.
Meanwhile, staff and customers at a pub thought to be Britain’s highest were finally able to leave on Thursday after being snowed in.
The Tan Hill Inn in Richmond, North Yorkshire, is 1,732 feet (528m) above sea level.
Six staff and 23 visitors were stuck, the pub said on Facebook.
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