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It took seven years for Abigail to break free of her abusive relationship, but as the cost of living crisis deepens there are concerns others may not be able to break free.

More than three-quarters of domestic abuse survivors (77%) are finding it harder to escape these relationships, the charity Refuge has warned, as people are forced to choose between remaining with their abusive partner or risk destitution.

For almost a decade, Abigail (not her real name) was subjected to physical, mental, financial and sexual abuse – with the attacks becoming so violent on one occasion, she miscarried.

“The last resort for me was he drugged and violently raped me,” she told Sky News.

“And I think for me that was a wake-up call – because I could hardly walk. I just thought this person could kill me.”

But with her abuser’s name on the house, she was reliant on him financially and had to go to court to get him to take his name off the house.

“Simply put – I wouldn’t have been able to leave my abuser if this crisis was happening when I was trying to flee 10 years ago,” she said.

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“I felt trapped as it was. One of the elements of abuse he used against me was financial. Alongside the physical and emotional abuse this economic abuse had a big impact when it came to leaving, he controlled everything.”

Abusers taking advantage of crisis

More than half of the frontline staff at Refuge said the cost of living crisis is leading survivors to return to their abusers.

Abigail’s partner would whisper in her ear: “He tried to tell me I was crazy. I couldn’t live without him.”

Refuge’s specialist technology-facilitated and economic empowerment team has seen an 87% increase in referrals for support with complex cases – they say this can be directly linked to the impact of the crisis.

The charity said it will need an additional £1m to address the growing costs of running its specialist services.

It warned perpetrators are also taking advantage of the cost of living crisis to increase economic abuse and control.

Some perpetrators restrict food and heating in an attempt to gain custody of children on the basis that survivors simply cannot afford to maintain a warm home and enough food.

Even seven years ago, setting out on her own was a struggle, said Abigail.

“At one point, I had £1.25 on my electric meter,” she said, adding that at one point she had to pay £1,500 in court costs towards the prosecution of her ex-partner.

He still owes Abigail thousands in child support.

As Christmas approaches, Abigail wants only the best for her four children – who were witnesses of the abuse – and has opened an Argos and Very account in a bid to afford presents.

“I have never had any credit cards before,” she said.

“I want to make sure my children have everything they want and need, but at the same time, I am already stressed when I think about how I am going to pay that off.”

Completely forgotten

One anonymous Refuge frontline worker said: “It feels like survivors of domestic abuse have been completely forgotten about in this crisis. I have clients whose financial situation is so difficult since fleeing that they are considering returning to their abuser.

“They are reliant on food and clothes banks, they have cancelled and cut back anything and everything they can, to be able to afford to pay their bills. This is having such a detrimental impact on survivors’ mental health and wellbeing.

“Some women are really worried about losing access to their children, they tell me that perpetrators are using this cost of living crisis to further their abuse, something we know as post-separation abuse.

“We are doing everything we can with the funding we have to support survivors – we are giving out more foodbank vouchers, more regularly and to more residents who are repeatedly requiring them, but this has led to foodbanks raising with us that they cannot repeatedly give out vouchers.”

Read more: Woman ‘trapped’ with abusive husband due to soaring energy prices

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What is coercive control?

Calls for emergency escape fund

Refuge has called on the government to create an Emergency Domestic Abuse Fund to help survivors flee their abusers. It welcomed the government uplifting benefits in line with inflation but implored it “not wait until next April to make this vital change”.

Ruth Davison, the charity’s CEO, said: “Survivors and their children are struggling now, and they need urgent action to weather the storm of price increases this winter. No one should be left choosing between ongoing abuse and violence or poverty and hunger.

“The reality is that nothing has changed for women and children experiencing domestic abuse in the autumn statement.”

The fund, she added, would ensure “no woman has to choose between financial stability and her physical safety”.

Some 94% of emotional abusers escape conviction, according to Home Office data – despite the fact incidents of controlling and coercive behaviour are on the rise.

The average cost of a divorce in the UK – including legal fees and lifestyle changes, such as needing to find new accommodation – is £14,561, a devastatingly high amount for people who may not have access to their own money.

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Figures from Surviving Economic Abuse and Money Advice Plus found 67% of survivors are already in a negative budget or have less than £100 surplus at the end of the month. They also have an average individual debt of £20,000 – six times more than in 2020, and it’s expected to get worse.

Shanika Hayes, a senior associate at Stowe Family Law, told Sky News: “They may not have their own employment, and even if they find themselves in a situation where they can leave and have their own source of income, their confidence is normally at the point where they feel like they are not worthy of that, or are not able to sustain that.”

For both men and women, the crisis is placing a strain on relationships that can see them edge into abuse.

“Financial issues can be a catalyst to abuse and it’s often the case that this is the straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Ms Hayes.

“Financial worries, whether that’s how they pay bills or increases to cost of living, that can worsen a relationship that is already abusive, or push one into that territory.”

Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline can be reached on 0808 2000 247, available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for free, confidential specialist support.

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‘Exceptional’ British soldier killed in Ukraine accident pictured

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'Exceptional' British soldier killed in Ukraine accident pictured

The Ministry of Defence have shared a picture of the British soldier who was killed in a “tragic accident” in Ukraine, as Volodymyr Zelenskyy prepares to give Donald Trump a revised plan for peace with Russia.

The Ukrainian president said his delegation is set to hand Kyiv’s proposal to Washington in the “near future”, ahead of talks between European leaders over the plan next week.

But they will comes after Mr Trump called European leaders “weak” and criticised them for failing to end the war between Russia and Ukraine.

As it happened: Soldier who died in Ukraine pictured for first time

Meanwhile, tributes have come in for Lance Corporal George Hooley, a 28-year-old paratrooper who died on Tuesday while observing Ukrainian forces testing a new defensive capability away from the frontline.

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Is Europe’s transatlantic relationship with America on life support?

The MoD said he joined the army in November 2015 and was regarded as “an exceptional soldier and an impressive junior leader with extensive operational experience”.

In a statement released through the ministry, Lance Corporal Hooley’s commanding officer said that the paratrooper had had an “incredibly bright” future in the Parachute Regiment.

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“I have no doubt that he would have continued to perform at the very front of his peer-group over the coming years,” they added.

“All members of The Parachute Regiment mourn his loss; however, our sorrow is nothing compared to that being felt by his family, our thoughts and prayers are with them at this incredibly difficult time.”

Lance Corporal George Hooley with his dog Mabel. Pic: Ministry of Defence
Image:
Lance Corporal George Hooley with his dog Mabel. Pic: Ministry of Defence

‘If you met George Hooley, you remembered it’

The company commander added: “If you met George Hooley, you remembered it.” They said the paratrooper had a “rare gift” and was a “model of professionalism”.

Britain’s Defence Secretary John Healey said the Lance Corporal “served our country with distinction and professionalism” and was “an exceptional soldier who will be very deeply missed”.

“The tributes that have been paid to him are a testament to his exceptional attitude and ability,” Mr Healey said. “George’s tragic death reminds us of the courage and commitment with which our outstanding armed forces serve every day to protect our nation.”

Zelenskyy: Ukraine to share peace plan in ‘near future’

Mr Zelenskyy said that Ukraine was finalising a 20-point peace document to share with the United States.

“We are working very productively to guarantee future security and prevent a recurrence of Russian aggression,” he said.

But Mr Trump had accused Mr Zelenskyy of not reading the original American-backed version of the peace proposal, and in an interview with Politico on Tuesday, claimed the Ukrainian president was “using war” to avoid holding an election.

Read more: Trump’s 28-point Ukraine peace plan in full

Later on Wednesday, Mr Zelenskyy said Kyiv’s peace delegation held a “productive conversation” with the US, and “discussed key issues for recovery, various mechanisms, and visions of reconstruction”.

Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz and French President Emmanuel Macron also spoke with the US president by phone on Wednesday.

In Ukraine shelling at a hospital in the occupied southern Kherson region killed three medical workers and injured two others, according to a governor installed by Russia.

And on Wednesday morning, Ukraine said its energy infrastructure had been targeted by Russian drone strikes in the southern Odesa region.

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Sharaz Ali found guilty of murdering ex-partner’s sister and her three children in Bradford house fire

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Sharaz Ali found guilty of murdering ex-partner's sister and her three children in Bradford house fire

A man has been found guilty of murdering his ex-partner’s sister and her three children in a house fire.

Prosecutors said Sharaz Ali, 40, was “motivated by jealousy and fuelled by drink and drugs” when he set fire to Bryonie Gawith’s home early on 21 August last year.

Jurors heard that Ali went to the home in Westbury Road, Bradford, aiming to “take revenge” on his ex, Antonia Gawith, who was staying there after ending their “abusive” seven-year relationship earlier that month.

Antonia Gawith managed to escape, but Bryonie Gawith, 29, and her children Denisty Birtle, nine, Oscar Birtle, five, and 22-month-old Aubree Birtle died in the blaze.

Bryonie Gawith and her children Denisty, Oscar and Aubree Birtle died in the fire
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Bryonie Gawith and her children Denisty, Oscar and Aubree Birtle died in the fire


Ali told a jury he had no intention of harming others when the house went up in flames, saying: “I didn’t want to hurt anyone but myself.”

But after a trial at Doncaster Crown Court, he was found guilty of four counts of murder and attempting to murder Antonia Gawith.

Calum Sunderland, 26, who went with Ali to the house and kicked the door in for him, was found guilty of the manslaughter of Bryonie Gawith and her three children, but cleared of the more serious charges of murder.

He was also cleared of attempted murder, and an alternative count of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm, in relation to Antonia Gawith.

Calum Sunderland. Pic: West Yorkshire Police
Image:
Calum Sunderland. Pic: West Yorkshire Police

Mohammed Shabir, 45, who had also been due to go on trial, died of a heart attack in October after collapsing in prison.

After the verdicts, the judge, Mr Justice Hilliard, thanked jurors and said the case had been “distressing beyond measure – three children and their mother murdered”.

“I don’t think anyone who heard Antonia’s desperate cries for help will ever forget them,” he said.

“These are truly dreadful crimes.”

The judge also praised the “extraordinary bravery” of those who tried to save the children trapped in the house.

Ali and Sunderland, a convicted arsonist, were driven to the house by Shabir, stopping on the way to fill a seven-litre canister with petrol, the court heard.

Doorbell footage captured Ali telling Sunderland, who was carrying the petrol and a lighter, to “kick the door in”, which he did before running back to the car.

Antonia Gawith said she saw an “angry” Ali run into the house and begin pouring petrol on her while shouting before setting himself and the house on fire.

Antonia Gawith outside Doncaster Crown Court. Pic: PA
Image:
Antonia Gawith outside Doncaster Crown Court. Pic: PA

‘I couldn’t save them’

In a video interview played to jurors, she sobbed as she told police how she “couldn’t save” her sister, nieces and nephew, as she tried frantically to get back in the house through the back door.

“I was just screaming, trying to get back in the house and I couldn’t get in. I couldn’t save them,” she said.

Read more from Sky News:
‘Depraved predator’ jailed for rapes and sexual assaults
British soldier who died in Ukraine named

West Yorkshire Police’s Detective Chief Inspector Stacey Atkinson said: “Bryonie and her three children would still be alive today if it wasn’t for the horrific and truly callous actions of Ali and Sunderland that day.

“They left a mum and her three children completely helpless whilst her sister and their auntie watched on in horror.

“Our thoughts and sympathies are with the family, who despite their immense strength of character now face the rest of their lives without them.”

Senior Crown Prosecution Service prosecutor Amanda McInnes said Ali was a “selfish killer who had no regard for anyone but himself”.

“He was motivated by jealousy and his actions have now needlessly robbed a family of their loved ones,” she said.

“Both men played their role and caused the deaths of a young family who should still be with us today.”

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‘I didn’t know where to turn’: Why ethnic minorities with gambling addictions struggle to get help

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'I didn't know where to turn': Why ethnic minorities with gambling addictions struggle to get help

On a dark December morning two years ago, Kiki Marriott left her flat and started walking.

Content warning: This article contains references to suicide.

It was 5am, and she was heading for the station.

“I was numb at that point,” she says.

“I was just so done with trying to survive and just existing… feeling extremely lonely and isolated and didn’t know where to turn.”

She was trapped in a cycle of addiction, gambling all hours and taking cocaine for the maximum buzz.

'I didn't know where to turn,' says Kiki
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‘I didn’t know where to turn,’ says Kiki

“I sat at the train station thinking about my daughter, thinking about the mistakes that I’ve made in the past, thinking that I didn’t want to live this life any more.”

Kiki was waiting for the first train.

But that train was late. And she changed her mind.

Instead of taking her own life, she decided to seek help.

Yet what she would find on that journey of recovery would shock her.

“I just realised that there wasn’t anybody that looked like me, sounded like me, and it got me to thinking, well I can’t be the only black woman suffering with a gambling or cocaine addiction.”

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‘I can’t be the only black woman suffering addiction’

Racial disparities

Research has shown that people from ethnic minority backgrounds are less likely to gamble than white people, but are more likely to suffer harm from gambling.

Despite that, too often they do not seek help.

And YouGov statistics shared exclusively with Sky News shed a light on why.

The survey of 4,000 adults for GamCare, which runs the National Gambling Helpline, found that two-thirds of people from ethnic minority backgrounds who’d gambled in the past year had spent more money than they’d planned, double the amount of white respondents.

They were also more than twice as likely to hide their gambling and nearly three times as likely to feel guilt.

Kiki is not surprised.

“For me, coming from a black community, a black background, what goes on indoors stays behind closed doors,” she says.

“You keep your mouth shut, and you handle your business yourself.”

And when she considered what an addict looked like, it wasn’t someone like her.

“I just thought it’s an old white man’s thing – that they go into the bookies, and they have a drink and they bet.

“I thought, well, that’s not me.”

But Dharmi Kapadia, a senior sociology lecturer from Manchester University, who focuses on racial inequality, thinks there’s more than just cultural pressure at play.

“These explanations of stigma have become dominant,” she says.

“We’ve found that what’s more important is that people don’t want to go and get help from gambling services because of previous racist treatment that they’ve suffered at the hands of other statutory services, for example, when they went to the GP.”

Dharmi Kapadia thinks there's more than just cultural pressure at play
Image:
Dharmi Kapadia thinks there’s more than just cultural pressure at play

‘I needed to change’

The stigma felt very real for Kiki, so she hid what she was doing.

“I’ve had trauma in my life. I’ve been sexually abused as a child.

“As the years have gone on, a traumatic event happened in my family that really changed the dynamics of my life and that’s when I moved on from scratch cards to online slots.”

She became hooked – betting around the clock, spending her benefits on 10p and 20p spins on online slots and borrowing money from those around her.

Eventually her daughter moved out when she was 15.

“That’s when everything escalated. I didn’t have that responsibility of keeping up appearances.

“Before that, gas, electric, food shopping, all those things had to be in place.

“I just lived and breathed in my bedroom at that point and yeah, it was very lonely.”

When Kiki left the station that day, she called the National Gambling Helpline.

“For the first time in my life, I was completely honest about everything that I was doing – the lies, the manipulation when I was in active addiction, the secrecy.

“I was completely transparent because I wanted to change. I needed to change.”

‘Where’s all the women?’

Since then, she has undergone constant therapy, including a six-week stint in rehab.

And as she headed home in the taxi, her phone rang.

It was Lisa Walker, a woman who understood gambling addiction. She had won £127,000 playing poker at 29 before losing everything and ending up homeless with her young children.

Lisa Walker (left) sought help from Gamblers Anonymous and was among very few women at her meetings
Image:
Lisa Walker (left) sought help from Gamblers Anonymous and was among very few women at her meetings

When she finally asked for help, she too felt she was different, walking into a Gamblers Anonymous meeting to find she was one of only two women in a room with 35 men.

“I was thinking, where’s all the women?” says Lisa.

“I can’t be the only woman in the world with a gambling addiction, so that got me thinking, what services are out there for women?”

It was the catalyst to set up support for female gamblers in April 2022.

Since then, Lisa has helped close to 250 women, but all but four have been white.

One of those four was Kiki.

‘There’s no getting away from it’

“It just baffles me… Why aren’t they reaching out for support? Is it the shame? Is it stigma?” says Lisa.

But another concern is that it’s simply too easy to hide the gambling.

“Getting on the train this morning, 90% of people are on their phones, and we don’t know whether they’re playing slots,” she says.

“I could probably sit here now and sign up for 50 online casinos and probably get over a thousand free spins.

“I just think there’s no getting away from it because it’s 24 hours a day.”

Kiki says she now has an 'amazing' relationship with her daughter
Image:
Kiki says she now has an ‘amazing’ relationship with her daughter

Kiki’s flat in Woolwich, where once she couldn’t even go to the bathroom without gambling, has become the place where she runs her own online peer mentoring groups.

“Feeling understood and validated for your experiences, for how you was raised… the core beliefs that you’re taught from a young age, to have somebody that looks like you, talks like you, has the same cultural background… it’s extremely important to make you feel understood, to make you feel validated,” she says.

‘You can learn from it’

Kiki will need to attend support groups for life to keep her addictions at bay.

But she has a clear goal, just as Lisa did.

“My focus is to help other people, help empower other people to choose themselves, to show them that there is light after so much darkness… that you don’t have to be a victim of your circumstances, that you can choose to grow from it and learn from it and heal from it,” she says.

For Kiki, there was so much at stake.

“It was either I was going to die or I was going to become a woman and a mother that my daughter could come back to and respect again.”

And that has happened. Kiki’s daughter is 19 now.

Kiki now helps others suffering from gambling addiction
Image:
Kiki now helps others suffering from gambling addiction

“We’ve got an amazing relationship today. I’ve took full accountability for the mistakes that I’ve made.

“She’s extremely proud of where I am today.”

It’s more than Kiki could have dreamt of two years ago.

Now all she wants is to help others escape the endless cycle of addiction.

Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK

To speak to an adviser on the National Gambling Helpline, call 0808 8020 133

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