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The NASCAR season has arrived. The real season. After the stock car equivalent to a department-store soft opening at the LA Coliseum on Sunday night, the next time that we see the stars and cars of the Cup Series hit the racetrack, it will be for real. When the battle for starting positions in the Daytona 500 begins this weekend, so shall the longest calendar march in professional sports, a paddock packed with championship hopefuls, seeking to stand atop the big stage at Phoenix in mid-November.

Once NASCAR’s 75th season indeed does drop the green flag, prepare yourself to be inundated with historic facts and figures to commemorate the milestone. We should also brace ourselves for what we will not see coming around the next turn, the surprise storylines that inevitably pop up like an ill-timed debris caution. See: last fall and the Next Gen safety issues (more on that coming up).

Before that happens and before the history lessons begin, though, let’s take a beat to ponder what we need to keep our eyes on as the flagman prepares to drop the green on the 2023 season.

The Next Gen car is still a work in progress

Yes, yes, I know, all race cars are a work in progress, but the Next Gen’s much-ballyhooed rollout to start 2022 was supposed to be the launch of a baseline model that met major change and alterations with the same staunch powers of resistance with which it met retaining walls. However, by the time the postseason had arrived, the new car’s lack of crash crushability was sidelining drivers with concussions and the images of Next Gens engulfed in smoke and flames were beginning to cloud our collective view of what was undoubtedly one of the most incredibly competitive seasons seen over NASCAR’s first 74 years.

After drivers started saying publicly that they had tried to warn the sanctioning body earlier in the year but it wouldn’t listen, NASCAR president Steve Phelps first confessed shock that the lines of communication between himself and the racers had become so disconnected, and he admitted that, yes, the new car had to be overhauled in the name of safety. The 2023 model features altered rear clips and bumpers, removing some metal bars and perforating others with holes so they will collapse and absorb energy away from the cockpit. The cooling vents in the hood of each car have also been enlarged.

“We started having regular meetings during the fall, like every week, and those have pretty much continued ever since, and I am thankful for that,” driver Chase Elliott said to ESPN two weeks ago. “But it’s the broken record of auto racing, right? We have to let stuff get bad before we fix it. Alex [Bowman] had to miss races. Kurt Busch had to retire. Then we start talking about changing the car? It’s up to all of us to change that. I think we are. I hope we are. But we’ll see.”

Unfortunately, the first practice day of the season was marred by a familiar sight, a fire that erupted inside the framework of a car, in this case the Toyota of Ty Gibbs. But that might have something to do with a new rule being tried out …

You need to update your rulebook

NASCAR kicked off February by sending out a stack of amended pages to its rulebook for 2023. The headliner was the elimination of the “Hail Melon,” aka the legendary wall-riding move made by Ross Chastain at last season’s penultimate event at Martinsville Speedway. That strategy landed him in the Championship Four, but it also landed him in hot water with his colleagues, who complained that the move was unsafe and expressed fears that it would spawn copycat maneuvers. Now that won’t happen because NASCAR has made it illegal, judged at the discretion of Race Control. “Altering the race” in a similar fashion will now result in a time penalty.

The reality is that it will be the other, less splashy rule changes that are most likely to have a greater and certainly much more frequent impact. Those include the elimination of stage cautions at the six road course events (they take too long on those longer tracks) and awarding stage points at predetermined laps but not slowing the race. Also, steeper penalties for loose tires on pit road, which will now result in a pass-through penalty under green, being sent to the end of the back of the field under yellow, and a two-lap penalty with a two-crew-member two-race suspension if the tire is lost on the racetrack. And rain tires will now be in play at short tracks (we’ll see if they actually get used … signed, a guy who has watched them unloaded at road courses for 25 years and used sparingly at best).

When the NASCAR playoffs arrive, now there is no longer a so-called “top-30 rule” that required any race winner to also be ranked 30th or higher in the championship standings to qualify for the postseason field of 16. However, drivers will still be required to race a full-time schedule (in other words, a road course ringer can’t win their only start of the season and run for the championship) or have an approved waiver from NASCAR (aka the injury rule).

Also, NASCAR used a new muffler at the LA Coliseum to quiet the cars a little. It plans on doing the same this summer in Chicago. The idea is to give fans a better chance to chat during races and a worse chance for people in big cities to complain about the noise. But as the post-fire investigation is beginning on the Gibbs incident, many are concerned the new muffler, located right under the most intense fire damage, might have been the culprit.

You also need to update your scorecard

What was supposed to be a relatively quiet Silly Season ended up with more action than a Marvel movie, with no fewer than eight major driver changes.

Both Busch brothers are in the mix, as Kyle Busch, who once angered Richard Childress so much that the team owner told someone to “hold my watch” as he intended to punch him out, will now drive for RCR in the No. 8 Chevy. “Rowdy” has been replaced by Ty, the aforementioned Gibbs, the No. 18 changing to 54. Meanwhile, Kurt has retired, replaced by Tyler Reddick at Team 23XI.

Another Ty, Childress’s grandson Ty Dillon, leaves RCR affiliate Petty GMS, which isn’t Petty GMS anymore, to drive the No. 77 of Spire Motorsports. AJ Allmendinger takes over the full-time gig in the No. 16 at Kaulig Racing, Josh Bilicki will drive part time for Live Fast Motorsports in the No. 78, and Stewart-Haas drew some odd looks in reaction to its decision to replace Cole Custer with Ryan Preece in the No. 41, although Preece’s strong performance at the LA Coliseum likely made those doubters lighten up a bit.

As for that Petty GMS name change, it’s actually a lot more than that. The team is now co-owned by Jimmie Johnson. Yes, that Jimmie Johnson, and has been renamed Legacy MC, as in Motor Club. Noah Gragson will now drive the No. 42, while Erik Jones remains in the legendary 43, which won’t be Petty Blue and orange but will still be those famous stylized digits. Johnson is unretiring, as the seven-time Cup champ had looked into running the No. 44 but will instead utilize 84, which is his old number (48) flipped and also the career wins number he hopes to reach in the Daytona 500 two weekends from now.

The generational shift is officially underway

Kurt Busch has retired, Johnson is still mostly retired and Kevin Harvick has already announced that 2023 will be his last season behind the wheel of Cup car before he moves to the TV booth. All three are future NASCAR Hall of Famers. So are Denny Hamlin and Brad Keselowski, who are still racing but also making the transition into team ownership. Martin Truex Jr., winner of Sunday’s Clash, is signed with Joe Gibbs Racing through this season.

The average age of this year’s Cup Series grid is threatening to dip below 30 for the first time in the modern era. In the 1990s, Jeff Gordon was the only driver keeping that number below 40. When Gordon’s generation retired, old-school NASCAR fans said, “Who are these new guys?!” Now they are saying the same about those guys retiring. Because as Nietzsche said, time is a flat circle. Or as Burton Smith said, it’s a roval.

“I’m 32 and now I look around and think, ‘Wait, am I one of the old guys now?” said defending Cup champ Joey Logano. He made his first start in 2008 at the age of 18. “I think race fans should really pay close attention this season. It’s a chance to see a lot of guys who will be in the Hall of Fame before it’s too late.”

North Wilkesboro is back on the schedule

Speaking of Burton Smith, when he purchased the North Wilkesboro Speedway in 1996, he took the two race dates from the track that was on NASCAR’s original Strictly Stock schedule in 1949, shipped them off to a pair of his new facilities and immediately shuttered North Wilkesboro. Years later, when asked for an update on the status of the beloved 0.625-mile lopsided oval, he replied, “I believe it’s returning to the earth.”

Now, against all racing odds, North Wilkesboro is back, thanks in large part to the efforts of Smith’s son Marcus. Now the place that was covered in rust and weeds just a few years ago will host the NASCAR All-Star Race on May 21. There are logistical mountains to scale, from local roads that didn’t handle race traffic well in ’96 to plumbing and electrical work that is being completely replaced. No matter what works or doesn’t this May, though, it will be a day that no one thought would happen.

There are already July Fourth fireworks over the new Chicago Street Course

Take the last sentence from the previous paragraph — “No matter what works or doesn’t … it will be a day that no one thought would happen” — and copy/paste that into this spot in all caps. A NASCAR street course race? Like, really in the streets, not a city park or on an airport tarmac, but on Lake Shore Drive, Michigan Avenue and along the north side of Soldier Field? Stock cars loose on the streets is an idea that has been kicked around forever, but always in a general, “You really think this would work?” sense, usually followed immediately by, “Well, they’ll never try that anyway.”

Well, now they are, despite concerns expressed by the drivers (Elliott: “It needs to be an event. I think as long as it’s that, and it’s done well, it will be a success whether the drivers like the track or not”) and Chicagoans (the Chicago Art Institute has questions about 40 race cars rumbling past its building and its valuable contents). For now, it’s all been pretty, er, quiet … but expect the noise levels to increase again as the July 1-2 event approaches. But also give NASCAR credit for its willingness to give street racing a shot.

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‘It all turned so bad so fast’: Inside James Franklin’s Penn State departure

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'It all turned so bad so fast': Inside James Franklin's Penn State departure

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — Two nights before James Franklin’s final game at Penn State, an unranked Clarkson University men’s hockey team scored on the fourth-ranked Nittany Lions a minute after puck drop. Behind the net, students erupted into chants of “Fire Franklin” — and resumed the chant after every goal in a 6-4 Clarkson win.

On Saturday, during Penn State’s stunning 22-21 loss to Northwestern, the “Fire Franklin” chants echoed through Beaver Stadium — and never let up.

After a third straight loss, Franklin looked defeated. As if saying goodbye, he stood on the 10-yard line and hugged every remaining player on the field before heading through the south tunnel for the last time as head coach.

There, his wife and daughter waited. He sent them ahead — perhaps so they wouldn’t hear the vitriol that awaited him — as he passed fans lined up on either side of the underpass to the locker room.

“How it all turned so bad so fast,” one Penn State athletic department source said, “I don’t know.”

The Nittany Lions began the season ranked No. 2 in the AP Top 25. They poured millions into building a loaded roster and a seasoned coaching staff that Franklin called his best yet. While the other Big Ten powers were set to debut new quarterbacks, Penn State boasted a three-year starter in Drew Allar, who opened as one of the Heisman Trophy betting favorites.

Coming off a CFP semifinal appearance, Penn State seemed poised to chase its first national title in 39 years. Yet with those expectations came unprecedented pressure on the Nittany Lions, who under Franklin had repeatedly wilted in big games.

As one former Penn State staff member put it, “They were either gonna win it all — or they were gonna implode.”

Six games into Franklin’s 12th season, the Nittany Lions imploded.

They lost in double overtime at home to Oregon, which dropped Franklin to 4-21 at Penn State against AP top-10 opponents, including 1-18 in Big Ten games.

They fell at winless UCLA — a team that had already fired its coach and hadn’t led once all season. Then, they lost to an unranked Northwestern, making Penn State the first team since the 1978 FBS-FCS split to lose consecutive games as 20-point or more favorites.

“It’s 100 percent on me,” Franklin said afterward. “We got to get it fixed — and I will get it fixed.”

By then, Penn State was too broken.

On Sunday, Penn State athletic director Pat Kraft fired Franklin. It was a difficult, emotional parting, as Kraft had a strong relationship with Franklin and respect for how he had built the program. Sources inside the program indicated culture wasn’t the problem — as evidenced by the decision of 10 star players to turn down the NFL draft and return for another season.

“This is not a three-game thing,” Kraft said Monday. “This is really diving into where we are as a program — what is the trajectory of this program?”

That drove Kraft to make the call despite Franklin’s $49 million buyout — the second largest in college football history behind Jimbo Fisher’s $76 million Texas A&M payout.

Franklin, who didn’t immediately respond to texts or calls from ESPN, won 149 games and reached double-digit wins six times in 11 seasons at Penn State, including the previous three.

Yet no matter what he or the program tried, the Nittany Lions couldn’t win in the games that mattered most. And after Penn State failed to beat Oregon, the bottom finally fell out — the school’s fan base and power brokers gave up on its coach ever getting the Nittany Lions over the top.

“I’m here to win a national championship,” Kraft said. “And I believe our fans deserve that.”

Interviews with program insiders detail how a season that began with such promise in Happy Valley spiraled out of control — and what comes next for Penn State.


THE NITTANY LIONS reeled off seven wins to begin last season, setting up a November top-five clash in State College against Ohio State.

Penn State jumped to an early 10-0 lead, but the Nittany Lions failed to score another touchdown. Twice, the Ohio State defense stoned Penn State inside the 5-yard line on the way to a 20-13 victory.

The Buckeyes went on to win the national championship.

Penn State’s brass had seen how Ohio State’s massive financial investment the previous offseason paid off in big moments, from the victory in State College to a dominant run through the playoff.

The Buckeyes sank $20 million into their roster. They kept key players from bolting early for the NFL and landed several star players in the transfer portal. They even hired away UCLA coach Chip Kelly to be offensive coordinator.

This offseason, the Nittany Lions emulated that blueprint.

They found the money to keep Allar and standout running backs Nicholas Singleton and Kaytron Allen on campus. They also hired away Ohio State defensive coordinator Jim Knowles, who had transformed the Buckeyes defense into the best in college football.

After a one-point loss to Ohio State in 2018, Franklin noted that Penn State had gone from a “good football team to a great football team.” But the Nittany Lions still weren’t on an elite level — like Ohio State.

“Right now, we’re comfortable being great,” he said then. “I’m going to make sure that everybody in our program, including myself, is very uncomfortable. … We are going to break through.”

This year, that breakthrough seemed possible.

As one Penn State source said, Kraft and the administration ensured that Franklin had “everything he needed to win a national championship and get rid of that stigma. … You want to keep those running backs? Let’s do it. We need a wide receiver? Let’s f—ing do it. Jim Knowles is out there? How much is it gonna cost? What do you need? Let’s go do it.”

Penn State sources noted that the program’s funding began matching that of Ohio State, Alabama and Georgia. Underscoring that, the Nittany Lions are in the middle of a $700 million renovation to Beaver Stadium, which is set to be completed by the 2027 season.

“There was a lot of momentum trending our way,” one university source said. “But the echo chamber of how good we were started to echo against itself. Like, we’re not just going to make the playoff, we’re going to win the national championship. It just got bigger and bigger, where the expectations were just massive.”

Instead of overwhelming the opposition, though, the Nittany Lions played tense. They struggled under the weight of those expectations, even during the first three wins over Nevada, Florida International and Villanova.

The vaunted running game sputtered, and the defense wasn’t suffocating the opposition as the players adjusted to Knowles’ system. Even then, alarm bells were going off inside the Lasch Football Building.

“The culture had gotten really tight,” one athletic department source said. “People around here were like, ‘We’re going to get f—ing crushed by Oregon.'”

One NFL personnel executive who had scouted those first three games wondered the same.

“They stunk,” he said. “It was like, what’s happening with them?”

Still, coming off a bye, the Nittany Lions had a prime opportunity to prove they were over their big-game flops of the past with the Ducks traveling in for a Sept. 27 prime-time showdown in front of a White Out Beaver Stadium crowd.

“This is going to be a statement game for our season,” Allen told ESPN the week before.

Instead, it was more of the same.

They didn’t get crushed, but struggled for long stretches. The offense under second-year coordinator Andy Kotelnicki never established the running game. Allar couldn’t find a rhythm. And while Oregon coach Dan Lanning aggressively went for it on fourth down five times alone in the first half, Franklin managed the game conservatively.

Facing fourth-and-9 from the Oregon 36-yard line, Franklin sent in the punt team. The ball landed in the end zone, resulting in a touchback. The Ducks capitalized, scoring their first touchdown, then another on their ensuing drive to take a 17-3 lead in the fourth quarter.

That’s when the first “Fire Franklin” chants began to reverberate around Beaver Stadium.

“When you’re more talented than the other team, that doesn’t hurt you,” said an NFL personnel executive, who’s scouted the Nittany Lions this season. “But in these close games where the talent [gap] gets a little bit smaller, it comes down to a few of those decisions that you make in terms of what position you put your team in … you could see Lanning stacking decisions and setting up different things they wanted to do throughout the game. The strategy was clear. … For all of James’ strengths, recruiting and leadership, his major weakness — in-game decision-making — showed up in every close game.”

Allar finally came alive in the fourth quarter and led the Nittany Lions on back-to-back touchdown drives to send the game to overtime. But then on Penn State’s first snap of the second overtime, he threw an interception, handing the Nittany Lions yet another loss in a top-10 matchup.

As fans emptied out of Beaver Stadium, many could be heard chanting “F— Drew Allar.”

In the 12-team playoff era, Penn State’s season technically wasn’t over with one loss. Under Franklin, the Nittany Lions had usually responded well after crushing big-game defeats. After the setback to Ohio State last year, Penn State responded by hammering Washington and Purdue by a combined score of 84-16. After losing to Michigan late in the 2023 season, the Nittany Lions finished off the regular season by dispatching Rutgers 27-6 and Michigan State 42-0.

But with so much riding on this season, the Oregon defeat was an emotional blow that sent the Nittany Lions to the mat.

They never got back up.

“It’s so hard mentally when you expect something big to happen,” a Power 4 assistant of Penn State said. “When that gets devastated so early, some dudes just don’t handle it very well.”


play

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Stephen A.: Penn State was justified to fire James Franklin

Stephen A. Smith explains why Penn State made the right decision by firing James Franklin.

THE NITTANY LIONS traveled to Pasadena, California, hoping to get their season back on track against winless UCLA. The Bruins had recently fired coach DeShaun Foster and both coordinators after getting thumped by New Mexico 35-10.

But one source close to Penn State described the Nittany Lions as “emotionless” after Oregon.

“The team needed inspiration and confidence,” the source said. “But it was all hesitation.”

The Bruins were 24-point underdogs. They had scored just 57 points in their previous four games combined. But UCLA scored on its first five possessions to take a 27-7 lead into halftime.

“Wide receivers weren’t finishing routes, guys weren’t finishing blocks, the defensive line not being where they’re supposed to be — things that were always done at Penn State weren’t happening,” a program source said.

The Nittany Lions tried to fight back in the second half, but a curious fourth-and-2 call from the UCLA 9-yard line ended the rally. Kotelnicki dialed up an end-around zone-read, and the Bruins buried Allar behind the line of scrimmage.

That play call proved emblematic of Penn State’s offensive struggles under Kotelnicki, who had thrived with gimmicks at Kansas, but failed to fully embrace Penn State’s hard-nosed tradition or get the best out of Allar’s skill set.

“He tries to do a lot of stuff with movement and motions, but it just didn’t play well,” a coach who faced Penn State said. “With the running backs they have and the skill guys they brought in at receiver, you’d have thought they would have been able to get more production out of that group. … [In turn], Drew regressed.”

Afterward in the Rose Bowl tunnels, UCLA’s defensive linemen taunted Allar, saying “first round [quarterback], what?”

Franklin, partially blaming the cross-country travel for the way his team played, was asked if he still believed this was the best combination of coaching and talent he’d had at Penn State.

“How am I supposed to answer that,” he replied, shaking his head. “Obviously I felt that way or I wouldn’t have said it. But after two losses, it’s hard for me to answer that question and say that that’s the case.”

Allar was asked if the Nittany Lions still had a chance of making the playoff.

“What do you think?” he fired back. “Yes.”

One Penn State source called the lackluster performance “mind-blowing.” Another said the Lasch facility “felt like a morgue” leading into Northwestern.

Over the summer at Big Ten media days, Allar said it was time for Penn State “to get over that hump” in big games. Suddenly, the Nittany Lions couldn’t win the smaller ones, either.

The pressure had gotten to them.

“It wasn’t fair to the kids,” a source close to the program said. “It’s just not, because you’re not at your best when you’re worried about making a mistake, and you’ve got to be perfect. Then you lose the love of what you do, and you lose your confidence and you’re just a shell of yourself.”

That applied to Allar, whose production dipped.

Allar had strongly considered leaving for the NFL after last season. Multiple scouts said they believe Allar would’ve been a first-round pick last year and noted several teams had him in the second tier, behind No. 1 pick Cam Ward, with Jaxson Dart, who went 25th overall to the New York Giants.

“People were very excited about him,” one NFL personnel executive said of Allar.

But after throwing a costly interception in the CFP semifinal, setting up Notre Dame‘s game-winning field goal, Allar opted to come back.

This season, fair or not, Allar came to symbolize Penn State’s tentative, uncertain approach.

At 6-foot-5, 235 pounds, boasting a powerful arm, Allar often played — or had been instructed to play — like a quarterback with far fewer natural gifts, said one source close to the program.

“You could just tell he had a self-monologue of, ‘Don’t screw it up, don’t throw a pick,’ just not playing very confidently,” a coach who faced Penn State said. “They just feel like a team that doesn’t know who they are.”

When Allar arrived at Penn State, he showed promise of becoming the player who had eluded the Nittany Lions. From Sean Clifford to Christian Hackenberg, Penn State had signed prototypical quarterback prospects before. But none under Franklin had developed into a passer capable of leading the Nittany Lions to a national championship or turning into a first-round pick.

As a sophomore in 2023, Allar threw 25 touchdowns with just two interceptions. The following offseason, Franklin hired Kotelnicki to unlock Penn State’s downfield passing attack.

Last season, Allar ranked 16th nationally with a QBR of 77.5. He also averaged 8.44 yards per attempt.

But this year, Allar’s play declined. He ranks just 91st with 6.9 yards per passing attempt, only a notch above the 6.8 he averaged two years ago. Allar also has an off-target passing rate of 13.3% this season, 12th worst among Power 4 quarterbacks.

“His accuracy was off all year,” a defensive coordinator who faced Penn State said.

NFL sources added that they felt the Nittany Lions operated like they didn’t fully trust him.

“And they have more information than we do,” one NFL personnel executive said. “When they needed him to put it on his back, you just never saw that. … But the other side of the argument is, his career so eerily mirrored Hackenberg, you do wonder if there’s a quarterback development issue.”

As if it couldn’t get any worse for Allar, late in the fourth quarter against Northwestern, while trying to run for a first down, he suffered a season-ending left leg injury. Having played more than four games in each of the past four seasons, Allar has exhausted his eligibility.

On Monday, tears welled in Kraft’s eyes as he spoke of Allar.

“Anyone who ever doubts that young man’s commitment to Penn State and Penn State football, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Kraft said. “He’s one hell of a young man and he puts up with a lot of crap. … He wants to win in the worst way. To see it end that way, you never want that.”


DESPITE PENN STATE’S nightmare season, Kraft projected optimism about the program’s future.

“We have invested at the highest level,” he said. “Ultimately, I believe a new leader can help us win a national championship.”

Sources close to the program expect Kraft to swing for the fences in hiring a new coach. Possible candidates could include Indiana‘s Curt Cignetti, Iowa State‘s Matt Campbell, Texas A&M’s Mike Elko and Georgia Tech‘s Brent Key.

But all eyes will be on Nebraska coach Matt Rhule, who worked under Kraft at Temple. The two remain close.

Rhule won 10 games in 2015 and 2016 at Temple before taking the head job at Baylor.

In 2024, he led Nebraska to its first winning season in seven years; this fall, the Huskers are 5-1. Yet, those who have worked with Rhule in the past call Penn State “his dream job.”

This week, Rhule, a walk-on linebacker for the Nittany Lions under Joe Paterno in the 1990s, didn’t rule out a return to his alma mater.

“I love that place,” Rhule said. “I love Pat. I love James Franklin and am sad that came to an end. I wish him the absolute best. But I’m really happy here.”

Said a former Penn State staffer of Rhule: “They’re probably a perfect marriage. If you’re Pat, you hope Matt finishes really strong, and you can parade him in front of your donors. … [They have] to hire somebody who infuses confidence into the fan base.”

While Rhule enjoyed success at Temple and Baylor, taking the Bears to the Big 12 championship game in 2019, he too has struggled to win big games.

Over his stints at Temple, Baylor and Nebraska, Rhule is 0-11 against AP top-10 opponents and 2-23 against the Top 25. He had 18 upset wins and 13 upset losses during that time.

Only 53 years old, Franklin’s coaching career is likely far from finished.

On Sunday, he addressed the players in what sources characterized as an emotional meeting.

“The players really did love him,” one source said.

Penn State center and captain Nick Dawkins praised Franklin’s “contagious energy, fighter’s spirit, toughness and grit” on Tuesday.

“All the flak and criticism and boos and chants in the face of adversity, he remained a strong shoulder, remained stone cold for his players, for the university,” he said. “Standing tall for those that are standing with you.”

ESPN college football writers Paolo Uggetti and Max Olson contributed to this report.

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The Bottom 10 won’t have James Franklin to kick around anymore

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The Bottom 10 won't have James Franklin to kick around anymore

Inspirational thought of the week:

“Are you surprised?”

“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”

— Clark Griswold and Cousin Eddie, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the storage trailers that hold all of the makeup and rubber noses required to attempt to make Glen Powell look even remotely unattractive in “Chad Powers,” we, like Chad’s South Georgia Catfish teammates and coaching staff, sometimes struggle with recognizing who and what is actually standing before us. Then, when they reveal their true identities, which we’re assuming Chad will do at some point, we are left standing with our jaws on the floor and face in our hands like Hugh Freeze during another replay review.

See: Last week’s much-anticipated Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Mega Bowl between what were then the Bottom 10 third-ranked UMess Minuetmen and the fourth-ranked State of Kent. And we weren’t alone in our anticipation of a close game. The wiseguys in the desert with their calculators next to the shrimp buffet had Kent as a 1.5-point favorite, and our ESPN Analytics team’s Ouija board Win Probability Index believed UMass had a 43.9% chance to emerge victorious.

Final score: Kent State 42, UMass 6.

See, Part 2: Penn State, which just three weekends ago came within a couple of knuckles of beating Oregon in overtime, was facing its second consecutive Bottom 10 contender, Northworstern, having lost to the then-ucLa Boo’ins the week before. And the Nittany Lions lost again, their third straight defeat, then fired James Franklin, who had coached them to within three points of playing for the national title just 10 months ago.

The point is that no one knows what the hell we are talking about. But talking about it is so much fun. Well, for us it is so much fun. In Amherst, Massachusetts, and State College, Pennsylvania, they are looking out the window at the silent majesty of a winter’s morn and a guy in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into their sewer.

With apologies to former North Texas tight end Robert Griswold, former Northwestern tight end Bob Griswold, Cousin Eddie George and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 7 Bottom 10 rankings.

The Minuetmen are currently ranked 130th in points against, 135th in rushing yards and 136th in points for. They are also ranked 111th in passing yards. Do you think those other units look at the passing guys and say, “Stop making the rest of us look bad”?


The Beavers traveled to North Carolina and lost to Appalachian State, then hosted and lost to another North Carolina team in Wake Forest, then fired head coach Trent Bray, who wasn’t even the biggest Coach Trent to lose his job this week …


The good news for the Bearkats is they kame the klosest to akkcomplishing viktory as they have all season before sukkumbing to Jacksonville State Not Jacksonville City 29-27. Up next on the kalendar is a Konference USA Pillow Fight of the Week. Against whom do they klash? Keep scrolling …


Yep, it’s the Minors, who will travel to Sam Houston State on Wednesday night. Hopefully someone reminds them that Sam Houston State isn’t actually in Houston; it’s an hour north in Huntsville. Hopefully someone reminds them that it’s not the Huntsville in Alabama, but the one in Texas, one town over from Arizona, which hopefully someone reminds them is the Arizona town in Texas, not the state of Arizona.


Sources tell Bottom 10 JortsCenter that when James Franklin drove home from the office with his box of stuff, he was greeted in the driveway by Charlie Weis and Bobby Bonilla, who gave him a signed copy of “How To Make a Mattress From Your Pile of Money” by Scrooge McDuck.


The Woof Pack started the year with a loss to Penn State back when Happy Valley was still happy, and followed that with a win over Sacramento State. The rest of the year has been like another former Reno-based late-night show, HBO’s “Cathouse.” And just like that brothel reality program, we never admit that we’ve watched, but secretly we can’t look away.


If you were wondering when MTSU and Novada might play in their own version of the Pillow Fight of the Week, we have bad news. It already happened. The Blew Raiders scored two TDs in the final six minutes to win 14-13 back in Week 3.


When Trent Dilfer was fired by UAB, he went down to the locker room to tear a bunch of stuff up, but after 2½ seasons of him exploding like the red Anger guy from “Inside Out,” there was nothing left to break.


The Pillow Fight of the Week, Y’all Edition, is the college football equivalent of that pointing Spider-Man meme, as Georgia State Not Southern travels to Georgia Southern Not State, which is 2-4. The winner retains exclusive rights to “GSU” for the next year. The loser has to change all its logos to “GUS.”


For those of you — and we are talking to ourselves here — who are still bummed about the lack of substance in the UMass-Kent State game, picture in your mind Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda sitting on a Dagobah log as Luke Skywalker flies away to get his butt whipped by Darth Vader. “That boy was our last hope.” “No … there is another.” These Other Huskies travel to UMass on Nov. 12 … and host Kent State over Thanksgiving weekend. Also, how great would it be to see Obi-Wan and Yoda wearing #MACtion gear? Speaking of the Midwest, I’ve heard from a lot of Wisconsin fans that the Bad-gers should be in this spot. Yeah, I’ve seen your schedule. You’ll be here soon enough. To quote Luke’s dad — Skywalker, not Fickell — it is your destiny.

Waiting list: State of Kent, EMU Emus, South Alabama Redundancies, Oklahoma State No Pokes, Charlotte 1-and-5ers, Wisconsin Bad-gers, Bah-stan Cawledge, UNC Chapel Bill, clapping with fingers.

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Reports: Yankees SS Volpe has shoulder surgery

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Reports: Yankees SS Volpe has shoulder surgery

Anthony Volpe recently had surgery to repair a partially torn labrum in his left shoulder, according to multiple reports, jeopardizing his availability for the start of the 2026 season and further complicating the New York Yankees‘ plan at shortstop.

Volpe underwent the surgery Tuesday — less than a week after the end of his disappointing 2025 season — and was operated on by Yankees team physician Dr. Chris Ahmad, according to reports.

The New York Post first reported Volpe’s surgery Wednesday. The Yankees are expected to officially confirm the reports when general manager Brian Cashman and manager Aaron Boone hold their end-of-season news conference Thursday.

Volpe initially injured his shoulder in early May and was hampered by the injury throughout the season.

The former top prospect had two cortisone shots — one in July, and another in September — but Cashman indicated last month that the Yankees thought Volpe might avoid surgery.

Recovery timelines for labrum operations often vary, but the minimum time required to heal from the surgery is typically four months. Cashman and Boone are expected to discuss Volpe’s situation Thursday, but a lengthy recovery likely will force the Yankees to search for alternatives at shortstop.

Volpe’s future with the Yankees already was uncertain after he struggled throughout the season. The 2023 Gold Glove winner committed 19 errors — tied for the third most in the majors — and batted just .212 with a .663 OPS. He went 5-for-26 in New York’s seven postseason games, striking out 16 times.

Jose Caballero filled in for Volpe at shortstop over the final two months of the season, and the Yankees also could use Oswaldo Cabrera at the position.

Shortstop George Lombard Jr. is New York’s top minor league prospect, but the 20-year-old batted just .215 in 108 games at Double-A Somerset this season and is considered a long shot to make the Yankees’ Opening Day roster in 2026.

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