How COVID-19 turned my life upside down

Published

2 years ago

April 18, 2023

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Please note: This article contains some content that our readers may find distressing. Share on Pinterest Design by Medical News Today; photograph courtesy Paolo Fu

On March 10th, when I returned from a holiday in Trentino, I developed a fever. It was not very high, about 100.04F, and, following the guidelines of the Ministry, I reported myself to the toll-free number set up by the region and requested a swab to check if I had contracted COVID-19.

I didnt receive the test because I have not been in a red zone, and I was not certain that I had been in close contact with people who had tested positive for the virus.

Over the phone, they told me to check my temperature and symptoms, but that I shouldnt warn the people I had been in contact with, in case I caused them panic. I was told I could do this later if the symptoms became worse.

The next day in Italy, the lockdown started. Offices and shops were forced to close, and nobody could leave the house without a valid reason and self-certification; any kind of meeting was forbidden, and proximity to elderly people was not recommended.

The virus hit hard. There were thousands dead in the north, and the epidemic seemed to be out of control. Streets were deserted and people left the supermarkets empty. It really seemed like war, and for many older people, this situation evoked terrible memories.

In a short time, the symptoms disappeared, but psychologically, I suffered a lot from the condition as I was unable to go out, see my friends, or visit my parents.

I had to reorganize my whole life, the way I work, and the way I relate with others. I was also unsure that I would still have a job at the end of lockdown, and this scared me a lot. Everything was changing so quickly, and all my certainties were wavering. Chasing a diagnosis

Around March 20th, my father sickened. He had a fever and was in a state of confusion. My mother, who is visually impaired and very dependent on him, was suffering from panic.

Until that moment, I had never visited them because I knew they were at high risk due to their age, but since I could not leave them alone with my father in such conditions, I was forced to go there. My wife and my son came with me.

I called the reporting number again to urgently request the swab for my father, but they refused it. I didnt know what to do, the virus had blocked the country, and anything, even the most trivial task, was now complicated.

With great difficulty, I found a doctor who came to the house. My father had bronchitis, and he was prescribed with antibiotics. He felt very tired and didnt want to eat. For all of us, the situation was so hard.

Finally, the fever stopped, and my father got better for a day, even though he continued to feel very tired.

On March 24th, he woke up with very strong pain in his lower abdomen. We thought that it was an intestinal blockage, and we called the doctor again, but it was useless. The pain didnt decrease.

I spent the night with him, massaging his back and belly, hoping to relieve his suffering. I had to make a decision, the fear of taking him to the hospital was so big given the situation, but at home, I wouldnt know how to handle it.

On the morning of March 25th, I took him to the emergency room. Thats the last time I saw him.

They called us from the hospital saying that CT scans showed an intestinal perforation and interstitial pneumonia from COVID-19 and that the situation was very serious.

The following days were a nightmare. The lockdown didnt allow us to visit him, and, moreover, having been in contact with him, we were in compulsory quarantine. From that moment on, we could no longer go out even to shop or throw out the garbage.

These were very difficult days.

On the one hand, the concern for my fathers health and the frustration of not being able to visit or hear him; on the other, the fear for the health of my family.

Given the real possibility of being infected, I tried again to get the swab, but since we were asymptomatic, they denied it to us that time too.

I was afraid, and I didnt know what to expect. This virus can remain silent for days and then suddenly burst. I was afraid for my loved ones and myself.

I took immunosuppressants for autoimmune disease, and this could make things worse. My mother is 82 years old, and we were both at high risk. I didnt understand why they wouldnt swab us.

I tried to filter some bad news arriving from the hospital about my fathers health with my mother, for her not to be worried too much, but at the same time, I didnt want to create false illusions. Seeing her suffer made me sick.

The only lights were my wife, who had been very close to me, and my son, who filled the house with joy and happiness.

March 28th was my sons birthday, he had waited so long for it, and he would have liked to do it at the zoo with his friends, but we found ourselves locked in the house with the terror that my father would die that very day.

It was a hectic time, but in the end, we managed to organize a live party with his friends via Zoom and ordered him presents online. For a moment, we forgot everything and dedicated ourselves to him. Mourning in quarantine

Another 9 days passed by, and there were only 2 days left until the end of our quarantine.

I wanted to go out, as I felt like I couldnt take it anymore, but I needed to get my immunosuppressant shot. If I was positive it could cost me my life, I was afraid and tried again to request the swab. In the end, I got it, but only for me and my mother.

In the meantime, my father got worse, and on April 7th at 1:30 a.m., I received a call from the hospital saying that, unfortunately, he had passed away. The world collapsed on me.

I didnt know what to do anymore. My point of reference was gone. I felt lost, desperate, and, as if that wasnt enough, I was the one who had to communicate it to my mother and my brother.

That morning was endless. We were stuck at home, we had just suffered a very serious mourning, and I was forced to solve all the bureaucratic things, as soon as possible, because the hospital couldnt keep the corpse of a COVID-19 patient for long.

I called my brother, and we tried to figure out what to do since the rules imposed by the Ministry at the funeral establish that only three people can attend. Furthermore, there was no possibility to respect the Jewish religious rite.

My mother and I were still in quarantine, and we couldnt attend the funeral. At that moment, the only person who was able to go was my brother, my cousin, and a friend who accompanied him. My mother and my family attended the funeral via Zoom.

The situation was really surreal, and I felt like I was living in a nightmare. By the way, on the day of the funeral, they were supposed to come home to swab us, and I was terrified that they could arrive during the service. Thankfully, they arrived later.

They showed up at our house with an ambulance and started preparing themselves. They put two overalls on top of each other, shoe covers, two pairs of gloves, hoods, visors, and masks, and headed towards our apartment before the incredulous eyes of neighbors from other condominiums.

They rang the door and told us to go out to the ground floor, against all privacy, to swab us. We felt dirty.

In the meantime, the quarantine was over, but we had to wait for the results of the swab to come out in 3 days time. I was positive, and my mom was negative.

At that point, they had to come and swab my wife and son. I got another one for my mother too. She was positive at that time, too, while the rest of the family was negative, so we decided, for their own safety, to send them to another place to pass the quarantine.

It was a difficult decision because, without my wife and son, the house is empty and silent. Everything has changed

I am tired and stressed. More than the virus, what really kills me is this forced confinement and the lack of affection from my loved ones and friends.

One evening, maybe because of stress, I was struck by colic. The pain was very strong, and my mother was in panic.

I wanted to call an amulance but, being positive, they would take me to a COVID center, and my mother would stay alone, and I didnt feel like it.

Luckily, I was able to calm the pain, but the idea of not being able to get sick, not being able to call a doctor, and not being able to go to the pharmacy because Im positive is very distressing; its like being in a science fiction movie.

In order to be considered not contagious anymore, one must have two consecutive negative swabs.

On May 3rd, I made my first negative swab. Unfortunately, the second one on May 5th was positive again, and I had to stay at home for another 15 days.

In the end, on May 20th, after two negatives swabs, I was finally free! The quarantine was over, and I could go out again! It was a really strange feeling, and I felt like I was free after a long period in jail.

Now, Im back to normal life again, although nothing is normal anymore.

The schools are still closed, and the kids miss their friends. They have difficulties in adapting to this new situation. The shops and the restaurant are often empty, and the people look to each other in a different way.

This experience has marked me a lot, and I miss the little things I did every day.

We believe we live in a society ready for anything, but a virus was enough to bring a country to its knees and deprive people of the most important things they have: the love of their loved ones, freedom, and physical contact with the people they love.

After the arrival of the virus, everything has changed, and I really dont know if we can go back to normal, to the world we used to know.

UK

Rhianan Rudd: How mother’s boyfriend played ‘significant’ role in radicalising youngest UK girl to face terror charges

Published

2 hours ago

June 10, 2025

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Rhianan Rudd: How mother's boyfriend played 'significant' role in radicalising youngest UK girl to face terror charges

Rhianan Rudd, who took her own life at the age of 16, was the youngest girl in the UK to be charged with terrorist offences.

The inquest into her death, which concluded today, revealed shocking details about her radicalisation by two American white supremacists, one of whom was her mother’s boyfriend, who the coroner said “played a material role in her radicalisation”.

Rhianan gouged a swastika into her forehead, downloaded a bomb-making manual and told her mother she planned to blow up a synagogue.

Investigated by anti-terrorism police and MI5, charges against her were later dropped, but five month later on 19 May 2022, she was found dead in her shower in a children’s home in Nottinghamshire. Hours earlier she had posted on Instagram: “I’m delving into madness.”

The evidence heard in Chesterfield Coroner’s Court from police, social services and even an MI5 operative, raised questions over the state’s part in her death – and whether, despite her obvious radicalisation, this vulnerable, autistic girl should have been treated with more care by the authorities.

Judge Alexia Durran said: “I’m not satisfied, on the balance of probabilities, Rhianan intended to take her own life. Rhianan’s death… was the result of a self-inflicted act but it is not possible to ascertain her intention.

“Rhianan was known, to family and professionals, to be vulnerable, to have autistic traits and have a history of self-harm.”

The coroner added: “I find she was highly affected by her arrest and was concerned about being sent to prison.”

It was not known what Rhianan was told by her legal team when the charges were dropped but this may have had a “psychological impact” on her, the coroner said.

In an interview released at the verdict, Rhianan’s mother Emily Carter said her daughter “should never have been charged”, that she was failed by those investigating her, including MI5 and counter terrorism police, as well as being let down by mental health services and those caring for her at the home.

This was the most complex of cases, set at a time when our security services are seeing a growing number of children being arrested and charged for terrorist offences, while parents often seem oblivious to the radicalising material they are consuming online in their bedrooms.

Ms Durham’s ruling reflected this complexity, finding that while there were some failings the actions of the police and MI5 were “reasonable and proportionate”.

The coroner concluded today that she was satisfied that missed opportunities in her case were “not systemic”.

Judge Alexia Durran said: “In the circumstances I do not consider I should make a prevention of future deaths report.”

At the same she was unequivocal about the “significant” role played by two extremists in radicalising her.

It was her mother’s former boyfriend, an American she’d befriended though a US pen-pal prison scheme, who first introduced Rhianan to far-right ideology.

Dax Mallaburn had been part of a white supremacist prison gang in the US and subsequently came to the UK to live with Rhianan’s mother in September 2017, a year after she’d been to visit him in the US.

In the autumn of 2019, Rhianan alleged that he had touched her inappropriately but later withdrew the allegation and, after a social services assessment, Mr Mallaburn returned to the family home.

Ms Carter says: “In hindsight, he was a bad person but I never saw him talking Nazi stuff with her.”

Before Rhianan was arrested, Mr Mallaburn’s relationship with her mother had broken down and he returned to the US and then Mexico. However, during COVID, Rhianan appeared to contact another far-right extremist, Christopher Cook, and began an online relationship with him.

Cook, who was roughly 18 and living in Ohio, shared far-right texts with Rhianan along with a bomb-making manual, and during this time she became fixated with Adolf Hitler.

Cook’s lawyer, Peter Scranton, says he too was radicalised online, and he came up with a plan to blow up power stations in the US, for which he was eventually arrested in August 2020, and in February 2022 he pleaded guilty to terrorism offences.

Cook, who was a misfit at school, suffering from “severe depression” according to his lawyer and was “essentially lashing out” as he tried to form a group to carry out his plan.

Mr Scranton told Sky News, “It was white nationalism, and they had this idea, and I don’t know why anyone would feel this way or how they thought it would work, that if they tore down the government and started over they could create a new United States of America that could look like the image that they would want – a white nationalist image.”

Mr Scranton says Cook told him he didn’t radicalise Rhianan, and it was the former boyfriend, Dax Mallaburn, who’d initially got her into neo-Nazi ideology. However, the coroner found Cook was “a significant radicaliser of Rhianan” at a time when she was “isolated and unsupervised”.

Ms Carter says Rhianan was interested in German history because she was doing it at school and Cook was able to “pull her in”, to racial hatred and antisemitism. She says she didn’t know what was happening, despite having parental controls on Rhianan’s devices. She said: “I could hear her talking to people on there and I’d say who are you talking to and she’d say – just someone from school – and in fact I found out it wasn’t at all.

“When this person she was talking to disappeared, that’s when she sat down on my lap like a baby and cried. She told me this guy Chris had left her, and she was totally in love with him – then she came down and told me she had downloaded a bomb manual and I was like ‘Oh my god, what have you been doing’.”

Ms Carter decided to contact Prevent – a national program in the UK designed to stop individuals from becoming terrorists or supporting terrorism

She says: “I thought putting her in a deradicalisation programme would be a fairly easy undo ‘brain pick’, But it wasn’t until the police turned up that I thought ‘hang on a minute this is a lot deeper than I actually thought it was at first’.”

Ms Carter and her lawyers have argued that the police were heavy-handed, that there should have been a psychological assessment before she was even questioned over terrorism offences.

“There were 19 police officers to arrest a 5ft 1, 14-year-old girl who weighs seven stone. It was over the top,” says Ms Carter.

Once Rhianan was charged, the deradicalisation work under Prevent was put on hold. Ms Carter thinks this was a mistake.

She says: “Leaving her with her own thoughts throughout the entire time of going through the police interviews and everything else – the deradicalisation would have changed the way she was seeing things – I believe she would have been able to handle it all so much better.”

The coroner described the police arrest and interview as “necessary and conducted appropriately” and that, while ceasing the Prevent intervention was an “unfortunate consequence” of the police investigation, it was “an appropriate step”.

During police interviews, Rhianan described being coerced and groomed, including sexually, and having sent explicit images of herself to Cook.

Lawyers representing the family say police and MI5 knew she was the victim of child sexual exploitation but failed to refer her to the relevant body – the National Referral Mechanism.

It was only after a social worker made the referral, that she was identified as a child victim and then the charges were dropped, by which time she had been subject to investigation and prosecution for 15 months.

The coroner agreed that there was a “systems failure” due to a lack of training both within the police and the Derbyshire council who both had had “significant information” that she was a potential victim of modern slavery.

However, she also said it “was impossible to know” whether this would have led to the CPS dropping their charges sooner, “nor that if had more than minimal impact on Rhianan’s death”.

Ms Carter says if she’d been treated differently “she’d be troubled, but I do think she’d still be alive”.

Rhianan’s family say the security services knew her vulnerabilities and that she had a tendency to self-harm, but they failed to take this into account.

Ms Carter said: “I admit my mistakes and I want the organisations to admit their mistakes. There were failings and they need to admit them.”

This ruling however found that the state did not play a role in Rhianan’s death under article 2 of the European Convention on Human Rights.

For the most part, her vulnerabilities were known and taken into consideration. It does however show how extremists will exploit children with mental health problems, young people who are struggling with life who may be a danger to society, but also a risk to themselves.

Counter Terrorism Policing said it offered “sincere condolences to Rhianan’s family and loved ones for their terrible loss”.

Assistant Chief Constable Di Coulson, speaking on behalf of Counter Terrorism Policing in the East Midlands (CTPEM) and Derbyshire Constabulary, said: “This was a complex case involving a very vulnerable young person, who had been subjected to radicalisation.

“Rhianan’s tragic death was clearly devastating for her family. It was felt profoundly by the officers directly involved, but also across Counter Terrorism Policing as a whole.

“Rhianan’s case was a stark moment for our management of the growing numbers of children and young people in our casework – so often presenting vulnerability as well as risk and threat to the public.

“Since Rhianan’s death, we continue to work alongside our partners to evolve the way we approach cases involving children and, where feasible, attempt to rehabilitate and deradicalise, rather than investigate and convict.

“We welcome the findings of the Chief Coroner today, and while we have already made substantial improvements to the way we manage these cases, we will carefully review the findings and make any further changes in order to improve our protection of the public against terrorism.”

Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK

UK

The five considerable problems with the chancellor’s U-turn on winter fuel payments

Published

2 hours ago

June 10, 2025

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The five considerable problems with the chancellor's U-turn on winter fuel payments

There are considerable problems with the winter fuel payment U-turn, but perhaps the political argument in favour outweighs them all?

First, Rachel Reeves has executed the plan without working out how to pay for it.

This, for an iron chancellor, is a wound that opponents won’t let her forget. A summer of speculation about tax rises is not a summer anyone looks forward to.

Politics latest: Treasury minister challenged over reason for U-turn

Second, the fig leaf that she and Treasury ministers are using is an improvement in economic conditions.

If you were being polite, you’d say this is contested.

The OBR halved growth this year and the OECD downgraded UK forecasts, albeit only by a little, last week.

The claim that interest rates are coming down ignores that their descent is slower because of government decisions of the last six months.

Third, the question immediately becomes, what next?

Why not personal independent payments (PIP) and the two-child benefit cap?

At this stage, it would feel like a climbdown if they did not back down over those.

But then, what will the markets – already policing this closely – make of it, and could they punish the government?

Fourth, this is aggravating divisions in the Parliamentary Labour Party: the soft left Compass group and ministers like Torsten Bell pushing bigger spending arguments.

Those MPs in Tory-facing seats who rely on arguments that Labour can be trusted with the public finances are worried.

👉Listen to Politics at Sam and Anne’s on your podcast app👈

Fifth, this has created a firm division between No 10 (the PM) and No 11 (the Chancellor).

No 10 is now conscious that it does not have enough independent advice about the market reaction to economic policies and is seeking to correct.

Others, I am told, are just critical of the chancellor’s U-turn – for she wobbled first.

Given the litany of arguments against, why has it happened?

Because the hope is this maxi U-turn lances the boil, removes a significant source of pensioners’ anger and brings back Labour voters, a price they calculate worth paying, whatever the fiscal cost.

We wait to see who is right.

Technology

Apple’s WWDC underwhelms on AI, but software gets biggest facelift in over a decade

Published

3 hours ago

June 9, 2025

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Apple's WWDC underwhelms on AI, but software gets biggest facelift in over a decade

Apple CEO Tim Cook speaks during the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) on June 09, 2025 in Cupertino, California.

Justin Sullivan | Getty Images News | Getty Images

Apple‘s annual developer conference on Monday lacked the splashy announcement that fans are used to seeing at WWDC. There was nothing like the Vision Pro reveal from 2023 or the Apple Intelligence announcement last year.

But there was an important software update that, later this year, will change the way all of Apple’s major devices, from iPhones and Mac laptops to Vision Pro virtual reality headsets, will look. It’s a new design language that runs across all of Apple’s operating systems. The company is calling it Liquid Glass.

For Apple, it’s the first significant redesign of its iPhone operating system since 2013, when the company announced iOS7. Apple says the lock screen will look like it’s made out of glass. Buttons will turn into little glass pills, fluidly sliding over glass rails. And there are new animations, including when answering a phone call.

The unveiling underwhelmed Wall Street, which sent the stock down 1.2% on the day. Investors are pressuring Apple to make big changes to its artificial intelligence strategy, pushing it to match the frontier models capabilities of rivals such as Google and OpenAI.

“Many of the AI features announced were more incremental in our view, and already available through competitor applications,” UBS analyst David Vogt wrote in a note on Monday. He has the equivalent of a hold rating on the stock.

Last year, Apple announced Apple Intelligence, its response to ChatGPT, complete with a demo of a “more personal” Siri that could intelligently parse through emails and messages to figure out the best time to make a restaurant reservation. Apple delayed the feature in March, had to pull ads that depicted it, and provided no update on timing on Monday.

“This work needed more time to meet our high quality bar,” Apple software chief Craig Federighi said on Monday. He restated the company’s “the coming year” timeline.

Liquid glass design

Apple’s focus at WWDC was on providing new features and animations across its software that are “delightful,” in CEO Tim Cook’s words.

The new design language is heavy on transparent buttons, sliders, and other interaction elements. Users will be able to spot it as soon as they upgrade their phones to the new iOS, which will be available for beta testing this summer.

Apple announces liquid glass during the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) on June 9, 2025 in Cupertino, California.

Justin Sullivan | Getty Images

Instead of hard, sharp corners in rectangular windows, Apple’s new design language has curved corners that match the device.

One reason Apple gave for rolling out the update now is that its computers and chips have become powerful enough to handle it. Apple said that its new look was directly inspired by the look of VisionOS, the company’s software for Vision Pro.

“Apple Silicon has become dramatically more powerful — enabling software, materials and experiences we once could only dream of,” Federighi said in a recorded video.

As with many Apple announcements, reactions are all over the map. Some people on social media were excited while others compared the update to the look of Windows Vista, which was released in 2007.

While Apple didn’t make many significant changes to the Siri experience, the company did introduce a few significant improvements and changes to its AI capabilities.

Apple also expanded its integration with OpenAI’s ChatGPT, integrating its image generation capabilities into an app that previously only used Apple’s technology.

When a user takes a screenshot on an iPhone, a new button will send the image to ChatGPT, which can summarize blocks of text in the image, or even decipher what’s happening.

One major improvement Apple is rolling out is in language translation.

During a phone call between two people who don’t speak the same language, the phone app can translate a sentence after it’s spoken and use an AI-generated voice to speak to the other party in the their language. Apple says the feature uses AI processed on the iPhone and doesn’t require a connection to a server.

New numbers

In some corners of the Apple fan universe, the most notable announcement on Monday may involve a simple number.

Since 2007, Apple had introduced a new version of its iOS every year. By 2024, Apple was on iOS 18. It’s a meaningful number for users who want to know if they have the latest Apple features, and some 82% of users with recent iPhones had upgraded to iOS 18 within a year.

Now, Apple is naming its operating systems for the iPhone and other devices after the year that they’ll be available for use by most consumers. In this case, it’s 2026.

In September, users will upgrade to iOS 26. Apple also has iPadOS 26, WatchOS 26, tvOS 26 and Vision OS 26.

The name change will simplify how to refer to the various operating systems, which had gotten confusing given that each device was on a different generation. It also keeps the pressure on Apple to keep rolling out an update every year, or else the number will make it clear that its software is outdated.