Why does heartbreak hurt? The science behind what happens to your brain and your body
Breakups are not much fun.
Whether it’s your first time through it or an unfortunate familiarity, there are few more agonising gut punches.
Doubts and insecurities aplenty; wondering where, how and why things changed; and like an agonising Lionesses World Cup run, an overwhelming sense of “what if”.
Being a “science and tech journalist” has given me a fresh perspective on how it can impact us physically.
Where’s that headache come from? What about a sudden lack of energy? And why does eating anything, even a normal favourite, feel like an I’m A Celebrity challenge?
For when pictures of wistful poetry on Instagram just don’t cut it, it turns out science has some answers.
The holy trinity
As neuroscientist Dr Lucy Brown puts it, “we’re all miserable when we’ve been dumped” – and there’s a potent chemical cocktail that helps explain why.
Serotonin is the brain chemical associated with happiness, oxytocin with bonding, and dopamine gets pumped out whenever your mind’s reward system kicks in.
No surprise then that you feel good when that holy trinity is high and rough when it’s low.
The key chemical is dopamine: the ultimate natural drug.
‘It’s like we’re addicted’
Brown was one of a team of researchers who conducted a study into the impact of heartbreak, scanning the brain activity of 15 young adults who were going through unwanted breakups.
They were shown photos of their ex-partners, and the scans showed parts of the brain that power our sense of motivation and reward – where our dopaminergic neurons live – went into overdrive.
It’s an “overactivity” Brown compares to what you’d see in a cocaine addict trying to wean themselves off.
“It’s like we’re addicted to each other,” she says.
“When we lose someone, we’ve lost a very rewarding part of our lives and sense of self. They’ve provided novelty in your life that now isn’t there, so we need some other rewards.”
And like rewatching goals we may have thought had put the Lionesses’ name on the title, looking back at texts and holiday photos won’t do the trick.
Maybe next time… Pic: AP
A body under threat
Florence Williams had found herself intrigued by the pain her heartbreak caused.
Having seen her 25-year marriage suddenly fall apart, trauma was expected. But feeling physically sick and totally overwhelmed took her by surprise.
“I was of course stunned by the event itself, but then I was really confused and surprised by how different I felt physically going through it,” she says.
“That feeling of being plugged into a faulty electrical socket; this buzzing sense of background anxiety and hypervigilance and an inability to sleep well; the weight loss and general confusion.
“My body felt under threat.”
Williams’s experience and sense of confusion sent her on a global quest for answers documented in her book, Heartbreak: A Personal And Scientific Journey.
She found while everyone’s personal heartbreak is different, the bodily response is much the same: it’s time for that holy trinity of hormones to take a battering.
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Florence Williams. Pic: Casie Zalud
‘Very real’ physical symptoms
And it’s not just emotional pain you may struggle with. In Brown’s study, brain areas associated with physical pain were also activated.
She explains rejection triggers a part of the brain called the insular cortex – the same part that responds to distress around pain, like when panic sets in after an already painful bee sting.
When emotional stress causes physical symptoms, like headaches and nausea, its medical term is somatisation.
“If you’ve ever had butterflies when you’ve been nervous, you’ve experienced this,” explains Dr Abishek Rolands.
“The most important thing to remember is even though there is no physical cause, the symptoms are very real – they are not made up or ‘all in the head’.”
During her research, Williams, who has two adult children with her ex-husband, was particularly fascinated by the impact loss can have on our immune system.
“It’s important for our nervous systems that we feel safe,” she says.
“If we have people in our lives triggering cascades of healthy hormones, it’s really protective against illness. Our cells actually listen to our mental state.”
Indeed, previous studies have stressed the importance of meaningful social relationships to stay healthy.
And in 2021, US researchers suggested our immune system takes cues from our nervous system if it’s struggling – effectively making decisions that could make us sick.
Broken heart syndrome
In rare cases, this kind of emotional distress – especially when delivered suddenly – can even lead to the fittingly nicknamed “broken heart syndrome” – or takotsubo cardiomyopathy.
Sindy Jodar, a senior cardiac nurse at the British Heart Foundation, says the symptoms – chiefly shortness of breath and chest pain – are consistent with a heart attack.
“Most people have either been under a lot of physical or emotional stress, like losing a loved one,” she says.
“The only explanation we have at the moment is when the body is stressed, it releases a lot of catecholamines (adrenaline), and when lots of that is around in the body it can impact the heart.”
Unlike a heart attack, the condition does not cause blockages in the coronary arteries – but does totally change the shape of the heart’s left ventricle, which pumps oxygenated blood through the body.
It’s this which gives the condition its actual Japanese name, as the shape of the ventricle becomes reminiscent of a trap fishermen use to catch octopus: narrow at the top, larger at the bottom.
The condition only impacts around 5,000 people a year in the UK, and is more common in menopausal women, with most recovering after a few weeks.
The condition’s symptoms are consistent with a heart attack
Giving up the addiction
Just as science can explain why heartbreak, rejection, and loss makes us feel the way we do, it also offers solutions.
Brown says heartbreak should be treated like “having to give up an addiction”, though she admits the “craving is stronger when we’ve lost someone”.
But there are plenty of roads to go down without gorging ice cream while watching La La Land.
Williams stresses the importance of working to activate the parasympathetic part of your nervous system by doing things that make you feel calm. The other part of our autonomic nervous system, sympathetic, is what causes anxiety and hypervigilance.
“Connection to nature is really calming,” she says, likewise to friends and family. “And there’s lots of data showing the more meaning you derive from work, the more purpose you feel, the happier you’ll be.”
Williams says such lessons apply to anyone “going through an emotional life quake”.
“People who end a relationship also face big emotions – guilt, sadness, loneliness,” she adds.
Walks in nature are great for clearing your mind
And as Brown says, there’s novelty – that sense of excitement that needs refreshing in a healthy, sustainable way.
Ice cream makes a compelling dinner once, but you’d probably best hope it wears off.
“A good strategy is beginning things you didn’t do during a relationship, like running or travelling,” says Brown.
“People always remember a heartbreak – it’s very painful. But you do change, and can for the better.”
Israel is beginning a major expansion of its military operation in Gaza and will seize large areas of the territory, the country’s defence minister said.
Israel Katz said in a statement that there would be a large scale evacuation of the Palestinian population from fighting areas.
In a post on X, he wrote: “I call on the residents of Gaza to act now to remove Hamas and return all the hostages. This is the only way to end the war.”
He said the offensive was “expanding to crush and clean the area of terrorists and terrorist infrastructure and capture large areas that will be added to the security zones of the State of Israel”.
The expansion of Israel’s military operation in Gaza deepens its renewed offensive.
The ceasefire between Israel and Hamas that had begun in January ended in March as Israel launched various air strikes on targets across Gaza.
The deal had seen the release of dozens of hostages and hundreds of Palestinian prisoners, but collapsed before it could move to phase two, which would have involved the release of all hostages and the withdrawal of Israeli forces from Gaza.
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26 March: Anti-Hamas chants heard at protest in Gaza
The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) had already issued evacuation warnings to Gazans living around the southern city of Rafah and towards the city of Khan Yunis, telling them to move to the al Mawasi area on the shore, which was previously designated a humanitarian zone.
Israeli forces have already set up a significant buffer zone within Gaza, having expanded an area around the edge of the territory that had existed before the war, as well as a large security area in the so-called Netzarim corridor through the middle of Gaza.
This latest conflict began when Hamas launched an attack on Israel on 7 October 2023, killing around 1,200 people and taking around 250 hostages.
The ensuing Israeli offensive has killed more than 50,000 Palestinians, according to Gaza’s Hamas-run health ministry.
Read more:
Father demands protection after Gaza aid workers’ deaths
Anti-Hamas chants heard at rare protest in Gaza
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Bodies of aid workers found in Gaza
Aid group Doctors Without Borders warned on Wednesday that Israel’s month-long siege of Gaza means some critical medications are now short in supply and are running out, leaving Palestinians at risk of losing vital healthcare.
“The Israeli authorities’ have condemned the people of Gaza to unbearable suffering with their deadly siege,” said Myriam Laaroussi, the group’s emergency coordinator in Gaza.
“This deliberate infliction of harm on people is like a slow death; it must end immediately.”
“Liberation day” was due to be on 1 April. But Donald Trump decided to shift it by a day because he didn’t want anyone to think it was an April fool.
It is no joke for him and it is no joke for governments globally as they brace for his tariff announcements.
It is stunning how little we know about the plans to be announced in the Rose Garden of the White House later today.
It was telling that we didn’t see the President at all on Tuesday. He and all his advisers were huddled in the West Wing, away from the cameras, finalising the tariff plans.
Follow the events of Liberation Day live as they unfold
Three key figures are central to it all.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is the so-called ‘measured voice’. A former hedge fund manager, he has argued for targeted not blanket tariffs.
Peter Navarro is Trump’s senior counsellor for trade and manufacturing. A long-time aide and confidante of the president, he is a true loyalist and a firm believer in the merits of tariffs.
His economic views are well beyond mainstream economic thought – precisely why he appeals to Trump.
The third key character is Howard Lutnick, the commerce secretary and the biggest proponent of the full-throttle liberation day tariff juggernaut.
The businessman, philanthropist, Trump fundraiser and billionaire (net worth ranging between $1bn and $2bn) has been among the closest to Trump over the past 73 days of this presidency – frequently in and out of the West Wing.
If anything goes wrong, observers here in Washington suspect Trump will make Lutnick the fall guy.
What are Donald Trump’s tariffs, what is ‘liberation day’ and how does it all affect the UK?
And what if it does all go wrong? What if Trump is actually the April fool?
“It’s going to work…” his press secretary said when asked if it could all be a disaster, driving up the cost of living for Americans and creating global economic chaos.
“The president has a brilliant team who have been studying these issues for decades and we are focussed on restoring the global age of America…” Karoline Leavitt said.
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‘Days of US being ripped off are over’
Dancing to the president’s tune
My sense is that we should see “liberation day” not as the moment it’s all over in terms of negotiations for countries globally as they try to carve out deals with the White House. Rather it should be seen as the start.
Trump, as always, wants to be seen as the one calling the shots, taking control, seizing the limelight. He wants the world to dance to his tune. Today is his moment.
But beyond today, alongside the inevitable tit-for-tat retaliation, expect to see efforts by nations to seek carve-outs and to throw bones to Trump; to identify areas where trade policies can be tweaked to placate the president.
Even small offerings which change little in a material sense could give Trump the chance to spin and present himself as the winning deal maker he craves to be.
One significant challenge for foreign governments and their diplomats in Washington has been engaging the president himself with proposals he might like.
Negotiations take place with a White House team who are themselves unsure where the president will ultimately land. It’s resulted in unsatisfactory speculative negotiations.
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Treasury minister: ‘We’ll do everything to secure a deal’
Too much faith placed in the ‘special relationship’?
The UK believes it’s in a better position than most other countries globally. It sits outside the EU giving it autonomy in its trade policy, its deficit with the US is small, and Trump loves Britain.
It’s true too that the UK government has managed to accelerate trade conversations with the White House on a tariff-free trade partnership. Trump’s threats have forced conversations that would normally sit in the long grass for months.
Yet, for now, the conversations have yielded nothing firm. That’s a worry for sure. Did Keir Starmer have too much faith in the ‘special relationship’?
Downing Street will have identified areas where they can tweak trade policy to placate Trump. Cars maybe? Currently US cars into the UK carry a 10% tariff. Digital services perhaps?
US food? Unlikely – there are non-tariff barriers on US food because the consensus seems to be that chlorinated chicken and the like isn’t something UK consumers want.
Easier access to UK financial services maybe? More visas for Americans?
For now though, everyone is waiting to see what Trump does before they either retaliate or relent and lower their own market barriers.
A man inside Mandalay has told Sky News bodies remain under “collapsed and inclining” buildings after the Myanmar earthquake – as a woman was freed from rubble after 91 hours.
The local inside Myanmar said many of the structures in the city were wrecked or badly damaged after the 7.7 magnitude quake on Friday, adding: “There are some bodies, some dead bodies, that still remain and other destruction”.
Meanwhile, in a televised address, Myanmar’s military leader Min Aung Hlaing said the number of dead had risen to 2,719 and is expected to exceed 3,000.
Some 4,521 people have been injured, while a further 441 are missing.
More than 10,000 buildings are known to have collapsed or been severely damaged in central and northwest Myanmar, the World Health Organisation said.
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Before and after: Myanmar earthquake
Smell of dead bodies near destroyed buildings
In Mandalay, Myanmar’s second-largest city, which was close to the quake’s epicentre, 50 children and two teachers were killed when their preschool collapsed, the United Nations said.
The local in the city told Sky News that “a lot of local assistance associations like charity groups are still struggling with digging out the corpses, the dead bodies, from the destruction”.
He said that “when we pass near the destructions, the collapsed building or very damaged building, we can smell” dead bodies.
“The smell of the dead bodies after four days… it still remains,” he said, before adding: “For the social assistance association… they need permission [to give aid] especially from the government.
“If they don’t have permission, then they cannot do anything.”
People sheltering in a makeshift tent camp in Mandalay. Pic: Reuters
He also said others in Mandalay are struggling after the earthquake, which followed the city being affected by cyclones, the COVID-19 pandemic, and the civil war in Myanmar – where a junta seized power in a coup in 2021.
“Some people, they say they have nothing at all,” the local added. “They have no more home, they have no more belongings, because its already damaged.”
Woman freed after 91 hours under rubble
It comes after the fire department in Myanmar’s capital freed a woman trapped under rubble 91 hours after the building collapsed.
The 63-year-old woman was freed early on Tuesday in Naypyidaw.
As the country continues to recover, a worker from the International Rescue Committee said people fear aftershocks and are sleeping outside on roads or in open fields.
Communities are struggling to meet basic needs such as access to clean water and sanitation, and emergency teams are working “tirelessly” to locate survivors and provide aid, the UN said in a report.
Rescue efforts have been complicated by the civil war, as rebel groups say the junta has conducted airstrikes, even after the quake, while NGOs fear that certain areas could be denied vital supplies.
“Myanmar’s military has a longstanding practice of denying aid to areas where groups who resist it are active,” said Joe Freeman, a researcher with Amnesty Myanmar.
“It must immediately allow unimpeded access to all humanitarian organisations and remove administrative barriers delaying needs assessments.”
Read more:
Military regime targeting ‘civilian areas’ in ‘wake of disaster’
Myanmar earthquake leaves some areas almost completely destroyed
The quake was the strongest to hit the southeast Asian country in more than a century.
In neighbouring Thailand, rescuers are still scouring the ruins of a collapsed, unfinished skyscraper for any signs of life.
“There are about 70 bodies underneath, and we hope by some miracle one or two are still alive,” volunteer rescue leader Bin Bunluerit said.
Six human-shaped figures have been detected by scanners, said Bangkok’s deputy governor, Tavida Kamolvej.
Thirteen deaths have been confirmed at the building site, with 74 people still missing, while Thailand’s national number of dead stands at 20.
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