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Inspirational thought of the week:

An old man passed me on the street today
I thought I knew him but I couldn’t say
I stopped to think if I could place his frame
When he tipped his hat, I knew his name

Hello old friend
It’s really good to see you once again

— “Hello Old Friend” Eric Clapton

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the abandoned Sam Goody’s where Desmond Howard now keeps his ginormous record collection, we have long recognized and appreciated the similarly good feelings that come from the notes of a classic tune that you haven’t heard in a while and recognizing a familiar face of an old friend you haven’t seen in a while.

Just recently, I sent my daughter off to college and people kept saying to me, “It’s such a weird feeling, isn’t it?” But it isn’t. The best part of the Bottom 10 pollster experience is when a longtime resident of these parts moves on, graduating to stand among those who have cashed in their Pillow Fight of the Week frequent flyer card for regular invitations to bowl games.

Occasionally, it’s good to see those old pals pop back in to see us here, getting back to their rotten Bottom 10 roots, such as a couple of teams this week. But it’s still best to see them pop up in the headlines for good reasons. OK, good reasons for them, but not for the ones they tripped up.

Say, our old friends the South Alabama Redundancies …

So, that “U-S-A!” chant you hear? That’s not some jingoistic dude waving Old Glory in a hurricane. That’s us. For old times’ sake.

With apologies to Lee Greenwood, Mike Gundy and Steve Harvey, here’s the Post-Week 3 Bottom 10.

1. Arkansaw State Fightin’ Butches (1-2)

The Red Wolves earned their first win of the season, and they did it against Stony Brook. According to the magically and mysteriously accurate ESPN FPI formula, it was the last time they will be favored to win a game this season, averaging a 25.3% chance per game from here on out. Also, according to the magically and mysteriously accurate ESPN FPI formula, there is a 100% chance that Butch Jones will giggle when he sees who is in this week’s Coveted Fifth Spot.

2. Buffalo Bulls Not Bills (0-3)

The Bulls opened the season with a 21-point loss to Power 5 stalwart Wisconsin, followed by a 3-point loss to FCS non-stalwart Fordham, followed by a 28-point loss to non-Power 5/former FCS non-stalwart Liberty. In the words of the couple screaming at Steve Martin and John Candy on the interstate, “You’re going the wrong way!”

3. No-vada (0-3)

The Wolf Pack had a tough weekend. First, they lost to Kansas to fall to 0-3, then they went back to the dorms to watch their former coach Jay Norvell take on the entire Sanders family and end up looking like Eminem the first time he tried to rap battle in “8 Mile.”

4. EC-Yew (0-3)

The Pirates have officially run aground. There’s no shame in losing to Michigan in the Big House. There’s not a lot of shame in losing to Marshall at home. But there is SO MUCH SHAME in losing for the second straight time at Appalachian State, the across-the-state school you’ve been clowning on for a couple of decades for not playing with the big boys.

5. Good Ol’ Rocky Slop (2-1)

The last time Tennessee won in The Swamp was Sept. 20, 2003. The No. 1 film at the box office that week was “Underworld.” Fittingly, a horror action movie.

6. The MCU (1-2)

No, not the one with the superheroes, though this one does include Zips, Golden Flashes and Falcons. This is the #MACtion Cinematic Universe, where seven of the league’s dozen teams stand at 1-2, which, like Thanos and his big gold glove, makes them nearly impossible to separate.

7. UTEPid (1-2)

The Minors are still reeling from their season-opening losses to Jacksonville State (which is not in the Jacksonville you’re thinking of nor is it a state) in the Bottom 10 Waiting Listers’ inaugural FBS contest, then to the defending Bottom 10 champs North by Northworstern. I suppose you can forgive their latest loss at Arizona because they were likely looking ahead to October, when they have the potential to make a failed SpaceX rocket landing Bottom 10 maneuver, as they face FI(not A)U, another FBS newbie in Sam Houston State, We Have Problem, and in between a visit from the team that just beat …

8. Whew Mexico (1-2)

The Lobos fell to Whew Mexico State in the Battle of I-25 as the Other Aggies exacted some revenge for their season-opening loss to …

9. UMess (1-2)

Yes, Massachusetts did knock off Whew Mexico State in Week 1 and this week will host Whew Mexico. If they end up with wins in both of those games, then according to the Bottom 10 Pillow Fight of Year bylaws, the Albuquerque Convention Center must for the next calendar year display the Minuteman statue alongside its statues of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman, with the soldier from Lexington Green buying a bag of Blue Sky. Speaking of New England …

10. U-Can’t (0-3)

Hey, Huskies! There y’all … er, yous guys, are! Dropping games the first two weeks to NC State and Georgia State weren’t really Bottom 10-worthy. But losing at home to FI(not A)U in a game where you favored by a touchdown? That’s more like it! In this topsy-turvy college football world where quarterbacks star in national hamburger chain ads and UCLA-Rutgers is going to be a conference game, looking at Thanksgiving weekend and knowing that U-Can’t vs. UMess has the potential to once again be a Pillow Fight of the Century is like a warm blanket. Sure, it has moth holes in it and it’s warm because a husky just peed all over it, but still, it’s a blanket.

Waiting List: Stanfird, State of Troy, Sam Houston State, We Have A Problem, “I’m a man, we just gave up 33 to South Alabama!”, the bottom two-thirds of the AAC, the bottom one-third of the Big 12, No-braska, San No-sé State, internet cowards sending death threats to college football players.

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Ichiro shows funny side, joins CC, Wagner in HOF

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Ichiro shows funny side, joins CC, Wagner in HOF

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. — Ichiro Suzuki became the first Japanese-born player to be enshrined into the National Baseball Hall of Fame on Sunday, one of five new members of baseball’s hallowed institution.

After enduring the baseball tradition known as a rain delay, the five speeches went off without a hitch as the deluge subsided and the weather became hot and humid. Joining Suzuki were pitchers CC Sabathia and Billy Wagner, and sluggers Dick Allen and Dave Parker, both of whom were enshrined posthumously.

“For the third time, I am a rookie,” Suzuki said, delivering his comments in English despite his long preference for conducting his public appearances in Japanese with the aid of an interpreter.

For the American audience, this provided a rare glimpse into Suzuki’s playful side. Teammates long spoke of his sense of humor behind the closed doors of the clubhouse — something the public rarely saw — but it was on full display Sunday.

When Hall voting was announced, Suzuki fell one vote shy of becoming the second unanimous selection for the Hall. He thanked the writers for their support — with an exception.

“Three-thousand [career] hits or 262 hits in one season are achievements recognized by the writers,” Suzuki said. “Except, oh, one of you.”

After the laughter subsided, Suzuki mentioned the gracious comments he made when balloting results were announced, when he offered to invite the writer who didn’t vote for him home for dinner to learn his reasoning. Turns out, it’s too late.

“The offer to the one writer to have dinner at my home has now … expired!” Suzuki said.

Suzuki’s attention to detail and unmatched work ethic have continued into the present day, more than five years since he played his last big league game. That was central to his message Sunday, at least when he wasn’t landing a joke.

“If you consistently do the little things, there’s no limit to what you can achieve,” Suzuki said. “Look at me. I’m 5-11 and 170 pounds. When I came to America, many people said I was too skinny to compete with bigger major leaguers.”

After becoming one of the biggest stars in Japanese baseball, hitting .353 over nine seasons for the Orix BlueWave, Suzuki exploded on the scene as a 27-year-old rookie for the Seattle Mariners, batting .350 and winning the AL Rookie of the Year and MVP honors.

Chants of “Ichiro!” that once were omnipresent at Mariners games erupted from the crowd sprawled across the grounds of the complex while the all-time single-season hits leader (262 in 2004) posed with his plaque alongside commissioner Rob Manfred and Hall of Fame chairman Jane Forbes Clark.

Despite his late start in MLB, Suzuki finished with 3,089 hits in the majors and 4,367 including his time in Japan. Suzuki listed some of his feats, such as the hit total, and his 10 Gold Gloves.

“Not bad,” he said.

Sabathia’s weekend got off to a mildly rough start when his wife’s car broke down shortly after the family caravan departed for Cooperstown. They arrived in plenty of time though, and Sabathia was greeted warmly by numerous Yankees fans who made the trip.

After breaking in with Cleveland at age 20, Sabathia rocketed to stardom with a 17-5 rookie season. Alas, that came in 2001, the same year that Suzuki landed in the American League.

“Thank you most of all to the great players sitting behind me,” Sabathia said. “I am so proud and humbled to join you as a Hall of Famer, even Ichiro, who stole my Rookie of the Year Award in 2001.”

Sabathia focused the bulk of his comments on the support he has received over the years from his friends and family, especially his wife, Amber.

“The first time we met was at a house party when I was a junior in high school,” Sabathia said. “We spent the whole night talking, and that conversation has been going on for 29 years.”

Parker, 74, died from complications of Parkinson’s disease on June 28, less than a month before the induction ceremony. Representing him at the dais was his son, Dave Parker II, and though the moment was bittersweet, it was hardly somber.

Parker II finished the speech with a moving poem written by his father that, for a few minutes, made it feel as if the player nicknamed “The Cobra” were present.

“Thanks for staying by my side,” Parker’s poem concluded. “I told y’all Cooperstown would be my last rap, so the star of Dave will be in the sky tonight. Watch it glow. But I didn’t lie in my documentary — I told you I wouldn’t show.”

Parker finished with 2,712 hits and 339 homers, won two Gold Gloves on the strength of his legendary right-field arm and was named NL MVP in 1978. He spent his first 11 seasons with the Pittsburgh Pirates and entered the Hall representing the Bucs.

Wagner, whose 422 career saves ranks eighth on the all-time list, delivered an emotional but humorous speech about a small-town guy with a small-for-a-pitcher 5-foot-10 stature who made it big.

“I feel like my baseball life has come full circle,” Wagner said. “I was a fan before I could play. Back when baseball wasn’t so available on TV, every Saturday morning I watched Johnny Bench and so many of the other greats on a show ‘The Baseball Bunch.'”

In one of the moments of baseball serendipity that only Cooperstown can provide, the telecast flashed to Bench, sitting a few feet away from where Wagner was speaking.

Allen’s widow, Willa, delivered a touching tribute to her late husband, who died in 2020 after years of feeling overlooked for his outstanding career. The 1964 NL Rookie of the Year for the Phillies, Allen won the 1972 AL MVP for the Chicago White Sox.

“Baseball was his first love,” Willa said. “He used to say, ‘I’d have played for nothing,’ and I believe he meant it. But of course, if you compare today’s salary, he played almost for nothing.”

Willa focused on the softer side of a player who in his time was perhaps unfairly characterized for a contentious relationship with the media.

“He was devoted to people, not just fans, but especially his teammates,” Willa said. “If he heard someone was sick or going through a tough time, he’ll turn to me and say, ‘Willa, they have to hear from us.'”

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Braves get starting pitcher Fedde from Cardinals

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Braves get starting pitcher Fedde from Cardinals

The Atlanta Braves acquired veteran starting pitcher Erick Fedde from the St. Louis Cardinals for a player to be named later or cash, both teams announced Sunday.

As part of the deal, the Cardinals will cover the majority of what remains of Fedde’s $7.5 million salary for 2025, a source told ESPN.

Fedde, 32, is a free agent at season’s end, making him a surprising pickup for a Braves team that was swept by the Texas Rangers over the weekend and is 16 games below .500, trailing the first-place New York Mets by 16½ games.

But the Braves have sustained a slew of injuries to their starting rotation of late, with AJ Smith-Shawver (torn ulnar collateral ligament), Spencer Schwellenbach (fractured elbow), Chris Sale (fractured ribcage) and, more recently, Grant Holmes (elbow inflammation) landing on the injured list since the start of June.

Fedde reestablished himself in South Korea in 2023, parlaying a dominant season into a two-year, $15 million contract to return stateside with the Chicago White Sox. Fedde continued that success in 2024, posting a 3.30 ERA in 177⅓ innings with the White Sox and Cardinals.

This year, though, it has been a struggle for a crafty right-hander who doesn’t generate a lot of strikeouts. Twenty starts in, Fedde is 3-10 with a 5.22 ERA and a 1.51 WHIP.

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Dodgers go to 6-man rotation amid Ohtani return

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Dodgers go to 6-man rotation amid Ohtani return

BOSTON — Los Angeles Dodgers two-way star Shohei Ohtani is expected to start on the mound Wednesday as he continues his buildup from elbow surgery that kept him from pitching all last season.

Manager Dave Roberts said Sunday before the Dodgers faced the Boston Red Sox in the finale of their three-game series that the plan is for Ohtani to work four innings at Cincinnati, with an off day to recover before hitting in a game.

With the Japanese superstar working his way back along with left-hander Blake Snell, who pitched 4⅔ innings on Saturday in his fourth rehab start for Triple-A Oklahoma City, the Dodgers will be using a six-man rotation.

They currently have Clayton Kershaw, Tyler Glasnow, Dustin May, Yoshinobu Yamamoto and Emmet Sheehan in the rotation.

“Shohei is going to go on Wednesday and then he’ll probably pitch the following Wednesday, so that probably lends itself to the six-man,” Roberts said.

In Ohtani’s last start, he allowed one run and four hits in three innings against Minnesota on July 22. He struck out three and walked one, throwing 46 pitches, 30 for strikes.

Roberts said this season is sort of a rehab year in the big leagues and doesn’t foresee the team extending Ohtani’s workload deep into games for a while.

“I think this whole year on the pitching side is sort of rehab, maintenance,” he said. “We’re not going to have the reins off where we’re going to say: ‘Hey you can go 110 pitches.’ I don’t see that happening for quite some time. I think that staying at four [innings] for a bit, then build up to five and we’ll see where we can go from there.”

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