Bottom 10: Back so soon, Sooners?
-
Ryan McGee, ESPN Senior Writer
Inspirational thought of the week:
Oh, wait a minute, mister
I didn’t even kiss her
Don’t want no trouble with you
And I know you don’t owe me
But I wish you’d let me
Ask one favor from you …
Oh, won’t you gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister
Gimme three steps towards the door?
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister
And you’ll never see me no more
— “Gimme Three Steps,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the track and field sprinting facility where Molly McGrath prepares to run down head coaches for postgame interviews, we are in disbelief at how little time we have left. Not on this earth. That’s too sad. But rather how little time is left in the 2023 college football season. And, well, OK, now that we think about it, yes, that’s sad, too.
There are three weekends remaining. Three. Like the Rule of Threes. Like Babe Ruth. Like Dale Earnhardt. Like Dwayne Wade. Like Joe Montana at Notre Dame. And like the number of wins it will likely take in order for a team to find its way off this list before it becomes the final Bottom 10 standings for the season, forever etched in stone. Or, more realistically, forever saved on a free handout thumb drive that we received from a press junket for a since-defunct bowl game. The same one we use to keep a handful of old recipes and a list of passwords that no longer work, all stored in a folder alongside some low-res renderings of the logo for the San Jose Silicon Valley Classic.
With apologies to Tre Harris, RG3, Steven Threet and Steve Harvey, here’s the Week 11 Bottom 10.
1. Sam Houston We Have Problem (1-8)
The Bearkats kaptured their introduktory FCS viktory by konquering Kennesaw State 24-21 with a kick as the klock kounted down to the konklusion of the kontest. Per kontra, they unsukcessfully relokated from this ranking bekause Kennesaw’s only viktories on the 2023 kalendar kame against Tuskulum and Linkoln University.
2. State of Kent (1-8)
After a miserable couple of weeks of weeknight #MACtion misery, Nick Saban’s alma mater has a week off to reset to a weekend schedule and a likely Pillow Fight of the Week against Baller State on, fittingly, Week 13.
3. EC-Yew (1-8)
The Pie Rats nearly pulled off an upset of No. 24 Tulane, leading 10-0 in the first quarter before losing the map to the end zone and losing 13-10. The only group of pirates to score this little are the ones who have been trying to get that dog to hand them the keys to their Disneyland jail cell since 1967.
4. UCan’t (1-8)
The Huskies lost the $1.8 Million Paycheck Bowl to Tennessee 59-3 and now travel to undefeated James Madison for the Wait You Mean We Don’t Get A Bunch Of Money For This One, Too? Bowl.
5. Boomer Swooner (7-2)
How often does a team lock up consecutive Coveted Fifth Spots? Looking at the Bottom 10 record book, we can’t find evidence that it has happened before. OK, if we’re being honest, we couldn’t actually open the Bottom 10 record book because someone spilled a bunch of Billy Sims Barbecue Sauce all over it and the pages are stuck together. Also, we may or may not have put OU back in here because we just thought of that Swooner name and it was too good not to use.
6. Akronmonious (2-7)
The Zips celebrated last week’s Wagon Wheel victory over State of Kent by enjoying an open Saturday and then immediately traveling to Miami of Ohio for a Wednesday night matchup in which they are a 17.5-point underdog and, according to the magically and creepily accurate FPI formula, have a 6.3% chance of winning. It’s like that time I celebrated my birthday at Chuck E. Cheese, then as I walked across the parking lot afterward, was attacked by a flock of buzzards trying to take my leftover pizza.
7. ULM (pronounced “UHLM”) (2-7)
Ulm, speaking of agitated birds of prey, the, ulm, Warhawks jumped up/fell down these rankings after losing, ulm, 24-7 to another gaggle of angry birds, the then-fifth-ranked Southern Missed Golden Eagles. Now, ulm, Terry Bowden’s squad faces Troy and Ole Miss in back-to-back weeks, teams with a combined record of, ulm, 15-3. That seems ulmpossible.
8. Southern Missed (2-7)
The good news is that Southern Miss finally found its second victory of the season, snapping a seven-game losing streak that dated back to the season opener against Alcorn State. The bad news is that during the game Brett Favre went through everyone’s wallets and bought a bunch of volleyball nets.
9. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-8)
Vandy opened the season with a win over season-long Bottom 10 Wait Listers Huh-Why-Yuh, then beat Alabama A&M, which is neither the Alabama nor the A&M you’re thinking of, before losing eight straight games and landing here. Now it lands in Columbia, South Carolina, where the disappointing 3-6 Gamecocks just beat the Jacksonville State Other Gamecocks. There is no other college football team in the nation that uses Commodores, but sources tell Bottom 10 JortsCenter that the Gloria Vanderbilt jeans people would be willing to have a West Side Story-style dance fight in the Garment District.
10. The Pitt and the Pendulum (2-7)
So Pitt has two wins, with one victory over then-14th-ranked Louisville. That earns the Panthers this spot over Virginia, which also has two wins, with one victory over then-10th-ranked North Carolina. And they both edged out Cincinnati, which has two wins, but one of those was over Pitt. And they all are a notch above/below Pur-don’t, which has two wins, with one over Virginia Tech, which has only four wins, but one of those came against Pitt. In related news, #goacc, y’all.
Waiting List: Virginugh, the Bearcats with a “c”, Pur-do’n’t, No-vada, Rod Tidwell’s Alma Mater, Muddled Tennessee, hiding poorly on the Central Michigan sideline.
The 2025 MLB All-Star Home Run Derby is fast approaching — and the field is set.
Braves hometown hero Ronald Acuna Jr. became the first player to commit to the event, which will be held at Truist Park in Atlanta on July 14 (8 p.m. ET on ESPN). He was followed by MLB home run leader Cal Raleigh of the Seattle Mariners, James Wood of the Washington Nationals, Byron Buxton of the Minnesota Twins, Oneil Cruz of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Junior Caminero of the Tampa Bay Rays, Brent Rooker of the Athletics and Jazz Chisholm Jr. of the New York Yankees.
On Friday, however, Acuna was replaced by teammate Matt Olson.
With all the entrants announced, let’s break down their chances at taking home this year’s Derby prize.
Full All-Star Game coverage: How to watch, schedule, rosters, more
2025 home runs: 17 | Longest: 434 feet
Why he could win: Olson is a late replacement for Acuna as the home team’s representative at this year’s Derby. Apart from being the Braves’ first baseman, however, Olson also was born in Atlanta and grew up a Braves fan, giving him some extra motivation. The left-handed slugger led the majors in home runs in 2023 — his 54 round-trippers that season also set a franchise record — and he remains among the best in the game when it comes to exit velo and hard-hit rate.
Why he might not: The home-field advantage can also be a detriment if a player gets too hyped up in the first round. See Julio Rodriguez in Seattle in 2023, when he had a monster first round, with 41 home runs, but then tired out in the second round.
2025 home runs: 36 | Longest: 440 feet
Why he could win: It’s the season of Cal! The Mariners’ catcher is having one of the greatest slugging first halves in MLB history, as he’s been crushing mistakes all season . His easy raw power might be tailor-made for the Derby — he ranks in the 87th percentile in average exit velocity and delivers the ball, on average, at the optimal home run launch angle of 23 degrees. His calm demeanor might also be perfect for the contest as he won’t get too amped up.
Why he might not: He’s a catcher — and one who has carried a heavy workload, playing in all but one game this season. This contest is as much about stamina as anything, and whether Raleigh can carry his power through three rounds would be a concern. No catcher has ever won the Derby, with only Ivan Rodriguez back in 2005 even reaching the finals.
2025 home runs: 24 | Longest: 451 feet
Why he could win: He’s big, he’s strong, he’s young, he’s awesome, he might or might not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. This is the perfect opportunity for Wood to show his talent on the national stage, and he wouldn’t be the first young player to star in the Derby. He ranks in the 97th percentile in average exit velocity and 99th percentile in hard-hit rate, so he can still muscle the ball out in BP even if he slightly mishits it. His long arms might be viewed as a detriment, but remember the similarly tall Aaron Judge won in 2017.
Why he might not: His natural swing isn’t a pure uppercut — he has a pretty low average launch angle of just 6.2 degrees — so we’ll see how that plays in a rapid-fire session. In real games, his power is primarily to the opposite field, but in a Home Run Derby you can get more cheapies pulling the ball down the line.
2025 home runs: 20 | Longest: 479 feet
Why he could win: Buxton’s raw power remains as impressive as nearly any hitter in the game. He crushed a 479-foot home run earlier this season and has four others of at least 425 feet. Indeed, his “no doubter” percentage — home runs that would be out of all 30 parks based on distance — is 75%, the highest in the majors among players with more than a dozen home runs. His bat speed ranks in the 89th percentile. In other words, two tools that could translate to a BP lightning show.
Why he might not: Buxton is 31 and the Home Run Derby feels a little more like a younger man’s competition. Teoscar Hernandez did win last year at age 31, but before that, the last winner older than 29 was David Ortiz in 2010, and that was under much different rules than are used now.
2025 home runs: 16 | Longest: 463 feet
Why he could win: If you drew up a short list of players everyone wants to see in the Home Run Derby, Cruz would be near the top. He has the hardest-hit ball of the 2025 season, and the hardest ever tracked by Statcast, a 432-foot missile of a home run with an exit velocity of 122.9 mph. He also crushed a 463-foot home run in Anaheim that soared way beyond the trees in center field. With his elite bat speed — 100th percentile — Cruz has the ability to awe the crowd with a potentially all-time performance.
Why he might not: Like all first-time contestants, can he stay within himself and not get too caught up in the moment? He has a long swing, which will result in some huge blasts, but might not be the most efficient for a contest like this one, where the more swings a hitter can get in before the clock expires, the better.
2025 home runs: 23 | Longest: 425 feet
Why he could win: Although Caminero was one of the most hyped prospects entering 2024, everyone kind of forgot about him heading into this season since he didn’t immediately rip apart the majors as a rookie. In his first full season, however, he has showed off his big-time raw power — giving him a chance to become just the third player to reach 40 home runs in his age-21 season. He has perhaps the quickest bat in the majors, ranking in the 100th percentile in bat speed, and his top exit velocity ranks in the top 15. That could translate to a barrage of home runs.
Why he might not: In game action, Caminero does hit the ball on the ground quite often — in fact, he’s on pace to break Jim Rice’s record for double plays grounded into in a season. If he gets out of rhythm, that could lead to a lot of low line drives during the Derby instead of fly balls that clear the fences.
2025 home runs: 19 | Longest: 440 feet
Why he could win: The Athletics slugger has been one of the top power hitters in the majors for three seasons now and is on his way to a third straight 30-homer season. Rooker has plus bat speed and raw power, but his biggest strength is an optimal average launch angle (19 degrees in 2024, 15 degrees this season) that translates to home runs in game action. That natural swing could be picture perfect for the Home Run Derby. He also wasn’t shy about saying he wanted to participate — and maybe that bodes well for his chances.
Why he might not: Rooker might not have quite the same raw power as some of the other competitors, as he has just one home run longer than 425 feet in 2025. But that’s a little nitpicky, as 11 of his home runs have still gone 400-plus feet. He competed in the college home run derby in Omaha while at Mississippi State in 2016 and finished fourth.
2025 home runs: 17 | Longest: 442 feet
Why he could win: Chisholm might not be the most obvious name to participate, given his career high of 24 home runs, but he has belted 17 already in 2025 in his first 61 games after missing some time with an injury. He ranks among the MLB leaders in a couple of home run-related categories, ranking in the 96th percentile in expected slugging percentage and 98th percentile in barrel rate. His raw power might not match that of the other participants, but he’s a dead-pull hitter who has increased his launch angle this season, which might translate well to the Derby, even if he won’t be the guy hitting the longest home runs.
Why he might not: Most of the guys who have won this have been big, powerful sluggers. Chisholm is listed at 5-foot-11, 184 pounds, and you have to go back to Miguel Tejada in 2004 to find the last player under 6 foot to win.
CHICAGO — Chicago White Sox great Paul Konerko got a present from one No. 14 to another in honor of the 20th anniversary of the 2005 World Series championship run: a jersey signed by noted Chicago fan Pope Leo XIV.
Cardinal Blase Cupich, the archbishop of Chicago, presented Konerko a jersey with the new pontiff’s signature on the back during a ceremony prior to the game against the Cleveland Guardians. It had the six-time All-Star’s last name and “Pope Leo” above the No. 14.
Robert Prevost became the first pope from the U.S. in the history of the Catholic Church when he was elected on May 8. The Chicago-born missionary, who took the name Leo XIV, is a White Sox fan.
Prevost attended the 2005 World Series opener against Houston in Chicago. He watched from Section 140, Row 19, Seat 2 as the White Sox beat the Astros 5-3 on the way to a four-game sweep and their first title since 1917.
In May, the team unveiled a graphic installation near the seat paying tribute to Pope Leo and that moment. The pillar artwork features a waving Pope Leo XIV, along with a picture from the TV broadcast of the future pope sitting with good friend Ed Schmit and his grandson, Eddie.
Members of the 2005 team are in Chicago this weekend to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the championship run. The White Sox debuted uniform patches honoring late closer Bobby Jenks, who died last week in Portugal, where he was being treated for stomach cancer. On Friday, the team unveiled a statue of former ace Mark Buehrle.
-
Sports3 years ago‘Storybook stuff’: Inside the night Bryce Harper sent the Phillies to the World Series
-
Sports1 year agoStory injured on diving stop, exits Red Sox game
-
Sports2 years agoGame 1 of WS least-watched in recorded history
-
Sports2 years agoMLB Rank 2023: Ranking baseball’s top 100 players
-
Sports4 years ago
Team Europe easily wins 4th straight Laver Cup
-
Sports2 years agoButton battles heat exhaustion in NASCAR debut
-
Environment2 years agoJapan and South Korea have a lot at stake in a free and open South China Sea
-
Environment2 years agoGame-changing Lectric XPedition launched as affordable electric cargo bike