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Inspirational thought of the week:

I’ve got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore

How could anybody ask for more?
My needs are small, I buy ’em all
At the five and ten cent store
Oh, I’ve got plenty to be thankful for

— Bing Crosby, “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For”

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the back of the plane Jesse Palmer lives in as he jets between college football games and the 37 reality shows he hosts, we never pass up a chance to express how thankful we are.

Thankful for the likes of R.O.C.K. in the U-T-S-A, Georgia State Not Southern, the New Mexico State Other Aggies, Arkansaw State and unLv, all of which were fighting for Bottom 10 titles seemingly only a few minutes ago but now are all going bowling and some are fighting for conference titles. They all feel like that surprisingly great Thanksgiving dish, the casserole prepared by that weird hippie your cousin married after they met at a furry convention. She slow-cooked a bunch of random ingredients that no one thought would work but it is totally delicious, especially when it finally finds its way into a bowl.

But we are also thankful for those teams that are still with us. The ones that have never forgotten their Bottom 10 roots and are held down by those roots as if they were battleship chains. On the Turkey Day table, they are the thing your Uncle Lonnie found in the back of his ice box, kept in a recycled Country Crock tub and labeled only with a scribbled blue magic marker, illegibly stating that it is either a “donut treat” or warning “do not eat.” It smells strange. It’s way too brown. But hey, it’s Thanksgiving and ol’ Lonnie, he could use a win. As could we all.

With apologies to Uncle Lonnie, SMU tight end Lonnie Johnson, Georgia Southern D-lineman Lonnie Leverette, Western Kentucky linebacker Lonnie Rice and Steve Harvey, here’s the Week 13 Bottom 10.


1. State of Kent (1-10)

Nick Saban’s alma mater became the nation’s first 10-loss team via its 34-3 nail-biter at Baller State. Now the Golden Flashes host Northern Ill-ugh-noise as a 19-point home dog. In related news, my home dog is expected to gain 19 pounds Thursday as I secretly feed her the “donut treat” under the Thanksgiving table.

2. ULM (pronounced ‘UHLM’) (2-9)

Ulm, the Warhawks have run their, ulm, losing streak to nine games after, ulm, starting the year 2-0. Now they, ulm, travel down to Louisiana not Louisiana-Monroe for, ulm, the Battle of the Bayou, which, ulm, if ulm, I mean, er, I’m being honest, I didn’t know was called that until just, ulm, now.

3. Akronmonious (2-9)

Fun fact: Before Terry Bowden took the job at ULM, he was the head coach at Akron. Which isn’t really a fun fact unless you are the pharmacist selling Bowden his ulcer medications.

4. UCan’t (2-9)

The Huskies have made a late run back to their once-familiar bottom rung of these rankings thanks to a pair of losses by a combined score of 103-9. Not even a confessional booth date 31-3 victory over Sacred Heart was enough to move them out of the top/bottom four, nor was it enough to avoid us labeling their matchup this weekend as the New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week. Against who? Or whom? Or whomever? Keep reading …

5. James, mad as … son (10-1)

Sources tell Bottom 10 JortsCenter that James Madison officials are now petitioning the NCAA to change its bylaws to say any overtime loss at home on the same day you’ve hosted “College GameDay” and gotten everyone all lathered up to support your initial NCAA petition to get a bowl berth doesn’t count.

6. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-9)

The good news is Vandy finally avoided a loss in the midst of its nine-game losing streak. The bad news is it’s only because it had a bye week. The worse news is it still didn’t cover the spread.

7. No-vada (2-9)

The Woof Pack opened the season 0-6. Then they won two in a row. Now they’ve lost three straight. It’s the best roller coaster in the state this side of the one bolted to the top of the Stratosphere in Vegas that constantly looks like it will fall off and land in the middle of Circus Circus.

8. Sam Houston, we have a problem (2-9)

The Bearkats rekonnected with their krummy outkomes by kurbing a konsecutive wins streak kompliments of a loss to Konference USA kompetitor Western Kentucky. They have only one kontest remaining on their kalendar. That’s kool with me bekause this replacing c’s with k’s konceit has been kinda overkooked for weeks.

9. EC-Yew (2-9)

East Carolina lost to Navy 10-0, marking the first time an ECU team was held scoreless in 26 years, but certainly not the first time a group of Carolina-based pirates was caught off guard by the Navy. Sorry, Blackbeard, too soon?

10. UMess (3-8)

The Minuetmen return to these rankings after a long in-season absence just in time for that New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week we teased earlier, against their old pals from down Route 32, UConn. UMass opened the season with a win over New Mexico State and followed that with a 45-point loss to Auburn. But New Mexico State just crushed Auburn 31-10. So, naturally, if UMass beats UConn then they should play Auburn, which is coached by Hugh Freeze, who left Liberty last year and Liberty is the team that just beat UMass. Can I get a thumbs up? Preferably from a press box hospital bed?

Waiting list: San Diego Stank, Southern Missed, Living on Tulsa Time, Temple of Doom, Charlotte 3-and-8ers, covering sweet potatoes with walnuts.

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Ram plans return in 2026 with Truck Series entry

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Ram plans return in 2026 with Truck Series entry

Ram will return to NASCAR next year in the Truck Series, a comeback the Stellantis-owned brand believes is the first step toward launching a stock car program in the top Cup Series.

Ram, which left NASCAR after the 2012 season, will race in the third-tier Truck Series alongside rivals Ford, Chevrolet, and Toyota. Ram becomes the first new manufacturer to enter NASCAR at the national level since 2007.

Ram CEO Tim Kuniskis made the NASCAR announcement Sunday before the Cup race at Michigan International Speedway. Kuniskis has bold goals and ideas — he’s vowed to make 25 product announcements over 18 months — and he said Ram will enter its trucks aggressively with the intention to be disruptive.

“The way we’re going to do it is unlike anyone else,” Kuniskis said. “The reason that we’ve been out of NASCAR for 12 years is a very tough [return on investment]; it is a very tough business decision to make. But when we say we’re back, when we say nothing stops Ram, when we bring the Hemi [engine] back, when we bring some of the other stuff that we haven’t shown you, it makes perfect sense to be back in the space and back up.”

Kuniskis said Ram will tap into NASCAR’s estimated fan base of 20 million “and turn it into 80 or 100 million.”

“We have a plan. We know how we’re going to do it. We think we have a path to get to that. We think people are going to like the way we’re doing it because it’s going to be fun,” he said. “Not ready to share all the details with you yet, but I told you that the experiential piece was going to be just a little bit of how we’re doing it. It’s going to get crazier from there.”

Ram raced out of the starting gate by using the Cup race at Michigan, which is just 90 minutes away from automotive capital Detroit, to announce its return. Ram staged a demonstration of its truck on the frontstretch before the start of Sunday’s race.

Kuniskis anticipates having four to six trucks at Daytona for the opener next February.

John Probst, NASCAR senior vice president and chief racing development officer, indicated Ram may not be the first announcement of a new manufacturer, with talks continuing with other brands. NASCAR last welcomed a manufacturer into the Truck Series in 2004 with Toyota.

“We’re excited that they [Ram] have interest in the Cup Series,” Probst said of Stellantis. “I don’t want to jinx ourselves, but I would say we are very close with one other [manufacturer]. Even with that, there’s one or two others that we’re a little bit earlier in the discussions.

“We all know that a [manufacturer] deciding to come into NASCAR, it’s a big commitment for them. It’s not something that they take lightly. It requires a lot of research and approval at the highest levels. We’re confident right now. We like the position we’re in and think that we’re a pretty good investment for a [manufacturer].”

Stellantis features 14 automotive brands, including Dodge and Chrysler. Dodge raced in NASCAR through the 2012 season and left the same month it celebrated the Cup title with Brad Keselowski and Penske Racing.

“We have cars in our company,” Kuniskis said.

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Gonsolin among 14 Dodgers pitchers now on IL

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Gonsolin among 14 Dodgers pitchers now on IL

ST. LOUIS — Tony Gonsolin was placed on the 15-day injured list Saturday by the Dodgers because of right elbow discomfort, joining fellow rotation members Tyler Glasnow, Roki Sasaki and Blake Snell among 14 Los Angeles pitchers on the IL.

NL West-leading Los Angeles activated relievers Kirby Yates from the 15-day IL and Michael Kopech from the 60-day IL before Saturday’s game against St. Louis and designated right-hander Chris Stratton for assignment, one day after he rejoined the team.

Gonsolin, a 31-year-old right-hander, made his season debut on April 30 after recovering from Tommy John surgery on Aug. 18, 2023, and was 3-2 with a 5.00 ERA in seven starts. He last pitched Wednesday in a 6-1 loss to the New York Mets, allowing three runs — two earned — three hits and three walks in five innings.

Other Dodgers pitchers on the IL are right-handers Luis Garcia, Brusdar Graterol, Michael Grove, Edgardo Henriquez, Kyle Hurt, Evan Phillips, River Ryan, Emmet Sheehan, Gavin Stone and Blake Treinen.

Kopech, a 29-year-old right-hander, had been sidelined since spring training with right shoulder impingement and had a 15.63 ERA in nine rehab appearances with Triple-A Oklahoma City from May 8 through last Sunday.

Yates, a 38-year-old right-hander, had been sidelined since May 17 because of a strained right hamstring. He is 3-2 with a 4.34 ERA in 22 relief appearances, striking out 31 and walking six in 18⅔ innings.

Stratton, 34, signed with the Dodgers on May 25, three days after he was released by Kansas City. He was designated for assignment on June 2, refused an outright assignment to Oklahoma City, then re-signed with the Dodgers a day later. He has made a pair of appearances for Los Angeles, totaling three innings.

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Phillies put Harper on IL with wrist inflammation

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Phillies put Harper on IL with wrist inflammation

PITTSBURGH — The scuffling Philadelphia Phillies suffered a blow Saturday when they placed first baseman Bryce Harper on the 10-day injured list because of right wrist inflammation before their game against the Pirates.

Harper sat out Friday night’s 5-4 loss to the Pirates, and the move is retroactive to Friday.

The two-time National League MVP and eight-time All-Star is hitting .258 with 9 home runs, 34 RBIs and 8 stolen bases in 57 games. He missed five games from May 26 to June 2 with a bruised right elbow after being hit by a pitch from Atlanta’s Spencer Strider.

The Phillies are expected to play third baseman Alec Bohm at first while Harper is out, with utility player Edmundo Sosa taking over at third.

The Phillies have lost seven of their last eight games, going from leading the NL East by two games to trailing the New York Mets by 2½ games entering Saturday. Philadelphia had won 11 of 12 games before the skid.

Infielder/outfielder Otto Kemp‘s contract was purchased from Triple-A Lehigh Valley. The 25-year-old, who has yet to play in the majors, was hitting .317 with 14 homers, 55 RBIs and 11 steals in 57 games at Triple-A.

Kemp was the International League Player of the Month in April.

The Phillies also recalled right-hander Daniel Robert from Lehigh Valley and optioned righty Alan Rangel. Rangel, 27, made his major league debut Friday night, allowing two runs in three innings of relief.

This will be Robert’s third stint of the season with the Phillies. The 30-year-old has given up one run in two-thirds of an inning over two games.

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