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Inspirational thought of the week:

I’ve got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore

How could anybody ask for more?
My needs are small, I buy ’em all
At the five and ten cent store
Oh, I’ve got plenty to be thankful for

— Bing Crosby, “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For”

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the back of the plane Jesse Palmer lives in as he jets between college football games and the 37 reality shows he hosts, we never pass up a chance to express how thankful we are.

Thankful for the likes of R.O.C.K. in the U-T-S-A, Georgia State Not Southern, the New Mexico State Other Aggies, Arkansaw State and unLv, all of which were fighting for Bottom 10 titles seemingly only a few minutes ago but now are all going bowling and some are fighting for conference titles. They all feel like that surprisingly great Thanksgiving dish, the casserole prepared by that weird hippie your cousin married after they met at a furry convention. She slow-cooked a bunch of random ingredients that no one thought would work but it is totally delicious, especially when it finally finds its way into a bowl.

But we are also thankful for those teams that are still with us. The ones that have never forgotten their Bottom 10 roots and are held down by those roots as if they were battleship chains. On the Turkey Day table, they are the thing your Uncle Lonnie found in the back of his ice box, kept in a recycled Country Crock tub and labeled only with a scribbled blue magic marker, illegibly stating that it is either a “donut treat” or warning “do not eat.” It smells strange. It’s way too brown. But hey, it’s Thanksgiving and ol’ Lonnie, he could use a win. As could we all.

With apologies to Uncle Lonnie, SMU tight end Lonnie Johnson, Georgia Southern D-lineman Lonnie Leverette, Western Kentucky linebacker Lonnie Rice and Steve Harvey, here’s the Week 13 Bottom 10.


1. State of Kent (1-10)

Nick Saban’s alma mater became the nation’s first 10-loss team via its 34-3 nail-biter at Baller State. Now the Golden Flashes host Northern Ill-ugh-noise as a 19-point home dog. In related news, my home dog is expected to gain 19 pounds Thursday as I secretly feed her the “donut treat” under the Thanksgiving table.

2. ULM (pronounced ‘UHLM’) (2-9)

Ulm, the Warhawks have run their, ulm, losing streak to nine games after, ulm, starting the year 2-0. Now they, ulm, travel down to Louisiana not Louisiana-Monroe for, ulm, the Battle of the Bayou, which, ulm, if ulm, I mean, er, I’m being honest, I didn’t know was called that until just, ulm, now.

3. Akronmonious (2-9)

Fun fact: Before Terry Bowden took the job at ULM, he was the head coach at Akron. Which isn’t really a fun fact unless you are the pharmacist selling Bowden his ulcer medications.

4. UCan’t (2-9)

The Huskies have made a late run back to their once-familiar bottom rung of these rankings thanks to a pair of losses by a combined score of 103-9. Not even a confessional booth date 31-3 victory over Sacred Heart was enough to move them out of the top/bottom four, nor was it enough to avoid us labeling their matchup this weekend as the New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week. Against who? Or whom? Or whomever? Keep reading …

5. James, mad as … son (10-1)

Sources tell Bottom 10 JortsCenter that James Madison officials are now petitioning the NCAA to change its bylaws to say any overtime loss at home on the same day you’ve hosted “College GameDay” and gotten everyone all lathered up to support your initial NCAA petition to get a bowl berth doesn’t count.

6. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-9)

The good news is Vandy finally avoided a loss in the midst of its nine-game losing streak. The bad news is it’s only because it had a bye week. The worse news is it still didn’t cover the spread.

7. No-vada (2-9)

The Woof Pack opened the season 0-6. Then they won two in a row. Now they’ve lost three straight. It’s the best roller coaster in the state this side of the one bolted to the top of the Stratosphere in Vegas that constantly looks like it will fall off and land in the middle of Circus Circus.

8. Sam Houston, we have a problem (2-9)

The Bearkats rekonnected with their krummy outkomes by kurbing a konsecutive wins streak kompliments of a loss to Konference USA kompetitor Western Kentucky. They have only one kontest remaining on their kalendar. That’s kool with me bekause this replacing c’s with k’s konceit has been kinda overkooked for weeks.

9. EC-Yew (2-9)

East Carolina lost to Navy 10-0, marking the first time an ECU team was held scoreless in 26 years, but certainly not the first time a group of Carolina-based pirates was caught off guard by the Navy. Sorry, Blackbeard, too soon?

10. UMess (3-8)

The Minuetmen return to these rankings after a long in-season absence just in time for that New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week we teased earlier, against their old pals from down Route 32, UConn. UMass opened the season with a win over New Mexico State and followed that with a 45-point loss to Auburn. But New Mexico State just crushed Auburn 31-10. So, naturally, if UMass beats UConn then they should play Auburn, which is coached by Hugh Freeze, who left Liberty last year and Liberty is the team that just beat UMass. Can I get a thumbs up? Preferably from a press box hospital bed?

Waiting list: San Diego Stank, Southern Missed, Living on Tulsa Time, Temple of Doom, Charlotte 3-and-8ers, covering sweet potatoes with walnuts.

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Sources: LSU expected to hire Kiffin on Sunday

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Sources: LSU expected to hire Kiffin on Sunday

OXFORD, Miss. — The Lane Kiffin saga is finally coming to an end.

Sources told ESPN on Saturday that the expectation is LSU will hire Kiffin away from Ole Miss on Sunday. A source cautioned that the deal was not signed as of late Saturday but added that it “would be a shock” if he didn’t sign it.

Should Kiffin agree to the contract, it will pay him, a source said, around $12 million annually across seven seasons, with the potential for bonuses, making him one of the highest paid coaches in the sport.

Kiffin, 50, and the Rebels just wrapped up an 11-1 regular season with a 38-19 win over rival Mississippi State, all but assuring them a berth in the 12-team College Football Playoff. That said, the expectation among Ole Miss officials is that Kiffin will not coach the Rebels in the CFP, barring an unexpected change.

Sources told ESPN’s Marty Smith on Sunday that Kiffin will hold a 10 a.m. ET meeting with Ole Miss players, followed by an announcement about his future.

After Kiffin said he would decide on Saturday whether he’ll coach at Ole Miss or LSU in 2026, he met with Rebels athletics director Keith Carter and chancellor Glenn Boyce for a couple of hours at the chancellor’s home in Oxford.

But the day came and went without an announcement.

There was a growing sense at Ole Miss on Saturday that Kiffin might coach the Rebels in one more game if they clinched a spot in next week’s SEC championship game in Atlanta.

However, No. 10 Alabama‘s 27-20 victory against rival Auburn in Saturday night’s Iron Bowl eliminated the Rebels. The Crimson Tide will play No. 4 Georgia for the SEC title.

While Florida and LSU courted Kiffin, Carter and Boyce were adamant that he wouldn’t be allowed to coach the Rebels in the CFP if Kiffin took a job with an SEC rival. Kiffin had lobbied the Ole Miss administrators to change their minds, but Carter and Boyce dug in their heels on that issue.

Among other reasons, Ole Miss doesn’t want Kiffin around its players with the transfer portal opening on Jan. 2. The Rebels also don’t want their CFP games to be a “commercial” for LSU’s future under Kiffin.

Even with Kiffin potentially leaving, the Rebels will probably still be in the mix to host a first-round CFP game at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium on Dec. 19 or 20.

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Bama wins Iron Bowl, to face Georgia for SEC title

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Bama wins Iron Bowl, to face Georgia for SEC title

AUBURN, Ala. — Ty Simpson and Isaiah Horton connected on three touchdowns, the last on a fourth-down play in the waning minutes, and No. 10 Alabama escaped Auburn with a 27-20 victory in the Iron Bowl on Saturday night.

Alabama advanced to face fourth-ranked Georgia in the Southeastern Conference championship game next week in Atlanta and improved its chances of making the College Football Playoff. The Crimson Tide (10-2, 7-1) beat Georgia 24-21 on the road in the regular season.

Alabama was on the ropes again at Jordan-Hare Stadium. After the Tide led 17-0 early in the second quarter, the score was tied down the stretch. But Simpson found Horton on a fourth-and-2 play from the Auburn 6 with 3:50 remaining.

“He didn’t panic at all,” Alabama coach Kalen DeBoer said about Simpson. “The experiences we’ve had all season long put him in that spot, and he took advantage of it.”

It was the third and most important hookup of the night for Simpson and Horton. The duo also connected on 6- and 3-yard scores in the first half. But instead of kicking a sure field goal attempt, DeBoer gambled with his offense and then celebrated his first trip to the SEC title game.

“It starts with our head coach,” Simpson said. “It comes from him, our resiliency and it just goes down the line. What a great team win.”

Simpson completed 19 of 35 passes for a season-low 122 yards. Horton finished with five catches for 35 yards, with all three scores coming in the red zone. Alabama won despite totaling 280 yards.

“These guys, they give you everything they got every single day,” DeBoer said, pausing to collect his emotions. “It’s been a long road, but I can’t wait to do more with them next weekend.”

Alabama’s Jam Miller ran for 83 yards before leaving because of an injury.

Ashton Daniels led Auburn (5-7, 1-7) with 259 passing and 108 yards rushing. Malcolm Simmons hauled in two long passes, including a 64-yarder for a touchdown and a 66-yarder that set up a score. But Auburn, which had done such a solid job of limiting turnovers this season, coughed up the ball late and failed to become bowl-eligible under interim coach DJ Durkin.

Daniels had the Tigers on the move, taking advantage of a pass interference penalty and scrambling for a first down on fourth-and-2, but star receiver Cam Coleman fumbled with 33 seconds left.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Sources: Sumrall the favorite to land Florida job

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Sources: Sumrall the favorite to land Florida job

Tulane coach Jon Sumrall has emerged as the clear favorite to be the next head coach of the Florida Gators, sources told ESPN’s Pete Thamel.

Florida turned its attention away from Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin earlier this week after getting the sense through irregular communication that he is interested in other options, likely a move to LSU or remaining with the Rebels, sources told ESPN on Friday.

Sumrall is expected to make a decision on his future by Sunday morning as he considers staying at Tulane or a move to Gainesville. He also received significant interest from Auburn, but the Tigers have since shifted their focus to other candidates, another indicator that Florida looms as the clear leader for Sumrall’s services, sources said.

Sumrall, a former SEC player at Kentucky, where he later served as an assistant coach and co-defensive coordinator, is 18-7 in two seasons at Tulane. He also won back-to-back Sun Belt titles as head coach at Troy in 2022 and 2023.

Sumrall, 43, garnered outside interest after his first season with Tulane, earning a contract extension after just one season at the helm.

Tulane (9-2) hosts Charlotte on Saturday night in its regular-season finale. The Green Wave can clinch a spot in the American Conference championship game against North Texas with a win over the 49ers.

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