In the latest irrelevant political news, President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden did not attend this weeks U.N. Climate Crisis Conference because hes been dead for six months and the whole climate thing is crap anyway. Making the announcement to what was either the White House Press Corps or a collection of animatronic Pirates of the Caribbean purchased at the Disney asset fire sale, presidential spokeswoman Karine Jean Identity Hire said, Speaking as a black lesbian woman, I want to assure you that this is a president who would be fully engaged in this important issue if he were fully engaged and this were an important issue. As it is, the pressing business of pulling the rug out from under our allies in Ukraine and Israel is commanding what would be all of his attention if he were paying attention, speaking as a black lesbian woman. The press corps responded by drunkenly chasing slave girls around the deck of a burning ship and repeatedly saying, Arrrr as usual.
The late houseplants failure to show up at the U.N. Conference was greeted with anger by climate activists and other suckers. Mentally ill Swedish Girl Greta Thunberg took time off from calling for the slaughter of Jews to protest the presidents irrelevant inaction in an impassioned speech delivered to a gathering of her hallucinations. Thunberg said, Im very disappointed in the presidents remains. He must address this completely invented issue quickly before it develops into a totally imaginary crisis. The world is rapidly growing hotter or colder or whatever its supposed to be doing, and if this continues or stops or whatever its supposed to do next, we will soon be forced to find some other reason to be hysterical and hand over all our freedoms to faceless international bureaucrats or any of the other magical creatures who appear when I go off my meds.
The anger over the lamented presidents failure to show up for the U.N.s urgent gathering of corrupt and sinister grifters is only one of many rifts beginning to appear in the Democrat Party. Polls now show that younger Democrats are becoming disillusioned with the administration because they feel Biden just doesnt hate Jews enough. The leader of Harvards Young Democrat Society, Adolf Jihad, speaking at a riot hosted by the universitys debate club, said, We denounce the presidents support of genocide because he refuses to join Hamas in their stated mission to exterminate the Jewish people so, okay, maybe we dont exactly know what the word genocide means, but then, were Ivy Leaguers so total ignorance has never stopped us from holding insane opinions with absolute self-certainty. WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show
Karine Jean Identity Hire sought to reassure the Nazi Harvard group, saying Speaking as a black lesbian woman, I want to assure the Hitlerian half of the Democrat party, that the vocal support for Jews the president would be expressing if he were still with us will always be backed 100% by clandestine and insidious actions meant to undermine Israeli security and strengthen an Iranian nation bent on eradicating first the Jews and then the rest of us, speaking as a black lesbian woman who is speaking for a black homosexual man who is speaking to Anthony Blinken who is secretly running the government.
Some Democrats fear that the divisions in their party could lower their chances of winning the next election because Biden is now so unpopular that even the mules may cast their packets of forged votes for someone else. But the fact is, the Republican Party is divided as well. Some Republicans, for instance, intend to vote for Donald Trump while others would prefer to shine a magic enlargement ray on Trump and blow him up to the size of Godzilla so he can crush Democrat cities beneath his enormous feet and then devour their inhabitants. Still other Republicans would like to vote for Trump first and then enlarge him so he can unleash his atomic heat ray breath and warm the planet until the rapidly decaying Biden is forced to go to the U.N. climate conference and stink the place up.
The Republicans hope these internal conflicts about Trump will be resolved in the next debate between Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis.
* * *
Andrew Klavan is the host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. He is the bestselling author of the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, The House of Love and Death, is now available!Follow him on X: @andrewklavan
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of The Andrew Klavan Show.
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
U.S. President Donald Trump and Apple CEO Tim Cook shake hands on the day they present Apple’s announcement of a $100 billion investment in U.S. manufacturing, in the Oval Office at the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., August 6, 2025.
Jonathan Ernst | Reuters
Apple shares rose 13% this week, its largest weekly gain in more than five years, after CEO Tim Cook appeared with President Donald Trump in the White House on Wednesday.
Shares of the iPhone maker rose 4% to close at $229.35 per share on Friday for the company’s largest weekly gain since July 2020. The week’s move added over $400 billion to Apple’s market cap, which now sits at $3.4 trillion.
At the White House on Wednesday, Cook appeared with Trump to announce Apple’s plans to spend $100 billion on American companies and American parts over the next four years.
Apple’s plans to buy more American chips pleased Trump, who said during the public meeting that because the company was building in the U.S., it would be exempt from future tariffs that could double the price of imported chips.
Investors had worried that some of Trump’s tariffs could substantially hurt Apple’s profitability. Apple warned in July that it expected over $1 billion in tariff costs in the current quarter, assuming no changes.
“Apple and Tim Cook delivered a masterclass in managing uncertainty after months and months of overhang relative to the potential challenges the company could face from tariffs,” JP Morgan analyst Samik Chatterjee wrote on Wednesday. He has an overweight rating on Apple’s stock.
Cook’s successful White House meeting also comes two weeks after Apple reported June quarter earnings in which overall revenue jumped 10% and iPhone sales grew by 13%.
Global mining and construction equipment giant Liebherr recently rolled out its first-ever battery electric crawler excavator, setting a new standard in heavy earth-moving equipment capabilities with low noise levels and zero local emissions.
The company’s official copy is characteristically low-key, with an emphasis on the facts and features instead of hype:
The new model completes the product range of Liebherr crawler excavators produced in Colmar (France). It is particularly quiet and emission-free. It generates the same output as a diesel machine in the same category and is particularly suitable for building sites that require low noise levels and avoiding exhaust gas emissions, such as in cities or underground operating locations.
Despite the lack of excitement in the release copy, there is a lot of excitement about the R 920 G8-E’s innovative new control cab philosophy.
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Liebherr INTUSI controls
Dubbed INTUSI (for INTuitive USer Interface), the system integrates intelligent control logic with advanced machine learning capabilities to give operators a highly customizable interface that can follow them from asset to asset, from wheel loader to excavator to haul truck, dramatically flattening the learning curve for operators on a given job site.
Liebherr says INTUSI improves both operational efficiency and user comfort on Liebherr job sites through the integration of a number of new features. From the press release:
Haptic feedback – vibrations alert the operator to critical conditions—such as reaching dynamic device limits—enhancing situational awareness and speeding up reaction times.
Optical feedback – integrated RGB LEDs on the joystick provide real-time visual cues about device status and servo control, ensuring clear communication without distraction.
Functional safety – control elements with status LEDs allow safe operation of critical functions—without requiring two-handed input—streamlining workflow while maintaining safety standards.
Hand detection – capacitive proximity sensor detects the operator’s hand automatically, enabling seamless activation of controls only when needed.
Display navigation – a mini-joystick embedded in the handle allows for quick and efficient navigation of the display interface, reducing the need to reach for external controls.
Ergonomics – multi-stage handle height adjustment ensures optimal comfort and usability, adapting to different operator preferences and working conditions
In addition to the INTUSI-powered custom cockpit, the new Liebherr R 920 G8-E electric excavator ships with your choice of either a 188 or 282 kWh high capacity li-ion battery, which is capable of 150 kW DC fast charging. Fast enough, in other words, to power up the machine during shift changes, if needed.
Electrek’s Take
R 920 G8-E electric crawler excavator; via Liebherr.
Since then, Fortescue has used the machine to move millions of tons of dirt, and has ordered several more. And, because everything from excavators to loaders to heavy trucks are built to be powertrain agnostic, and manufacturers will often offer the same basic vehicle with Cummins, Detroit Diesel, or Volvo power, so there’s a degree of openness baked into those systems already. Liebherr is just taking that to the next level by installing an electric drive motor in place of an internal combustion engine, and I expect this excavator will be the first of many such machines from the brand.
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Five days before he was killed by a falling aid package, father-of-two Uday al Qaraan called on world leaders to open Gaza’s borders to food – and criticised the use of airdrops.
“This isn’t aid delivery,” said the 32-year-old medic as a crowd of children rummaged through the remains of an airdrop behind him. “This is humiliation.”
Using footage from social media, satellite imagery, eyewitness testimony and flight tracking data, Sky News has examined the dangers posed by airdrops – and just how little difference they are making to Gaza’s hunger crisis.
A tangled parachute and a crowd in chaos
Based on six videos of the airdrop that killed Uday, we were able to locate the incident to a tent camp on the coast of central Gaza.
We determined that the drop occurred at approximately 11.50am on 4 August, based on metadata from these videos shared by three eyewitnesses.
Flight tracking data shows that only one aid plane, a UAE Armed Forces C-130 Hercules, was in the area at that time.
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Footage from the ground shows 12 pallets falling from the plane. The four lowest parachutes soon become tangled, and begin to fall in pairs.
As a crowd surges towards the landing zone, a gunshot rings out. Nine more follow over a 90-second period.
Sakhr al Qaraan, an eyewitness and Uday’s neighbour, says that Uday was among those running after the first pallet to land.
“He didn’t see the other pallet it was tangled up with, and it fell on him moments later,” says Sakhr.
“People ran to collect the aid in cold blood, devoid of humanity, and he suffocated under that damned blanket – under the feet of people who had lost all humanity.”
The scene descended into chaos as Palestinians, some armed, tussled over the limited food available.
By the time Uday was pulled from the crowd and rushed to hospital, it was too late.
The UAE Ministry of Foreign Affairs did not respond to a request for comment.
Image: Medic and father-of-two Uday al Qaraan, 32, was killed on 4 August by an aid package dropped from a UAE Armed Forces plane.
Parachutes failed in half of airdrops analysed
This was not the first time that airdrops at this location had posed a threat to those on the ground.
The day before Uday was killed, the same plane had dropped aid over the site.
The footage below, shared by the UAE Armed Forces, shows the view from inside the plane. Just before the footage ends, it shows that one of the parachutes was broken.
Hisham al Armi recorded the scene from the ground. His video shows the broken parachute, as well as another that had failed completely.
Military planes dropped aid at the site on eight consecutive days between 30 July and 6 August. Sky News verified footage showing parachute failures during four of those eight airdrops.
Flight tracking data shows that almost all of the 67 aid flights over that period followed a similar route along the coast, which is densely packed with tent camps.
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An Israel Defence Forces (IDF) official told Sky News that the airdrops are routed along the coast, because this is where much of Gaza’s population is now concentrated.
An IDF spokesperson added the Israeli military “takes all possible measures to mitigate the harm to uninvolved civilians”.
Hisham al Armi told Sky News he is grateful to the countries that donated the aid, but “the negatives outweigh the positives”.
“Fighting occurs when aid is dropped, and some people are killed … due to the crush and parachutes.”
Other dangers are also posed by the airdrops.
The footage below, taken on 29 July, shows Palestinians venturing into the sea in order to chase aid that had drifted over the water. The IDF has banned Palestinians from entering the sea.
One woman, a relative of Uday who witnessed his death, described the airdrops as the “airborne humiliation of the people”.
“There is not enough aid for them,” she said. “It creates problems among the people, and some are killed just to obtain a little aid. And most people don’t receive any aid, they remain hungry for days.”
Between 27 July and 1 August, Gaza received an estimated 1,505 tonnes of food aid per day via land routes – 533 tonnes short of what the UN’s food security agency says is needed to meet basic needs.
Based on flight tracking data, we estimated that airdrops added just 38 tonnes daily, 7% of the shortfall.
“The quantities involved are minuscule in terms of the scale of the need,” says Sam Rose, Gaza director of UNRWA, the UN agency previously responsible for distributing food in the territory.
UNRWA claims it has enough food stationed outside of Gaza to feed the population for three months, but that Israel has not allowed the agency to bring in any food since 2 March.
“We should be dealing with that rather than introducing something else which is costly, dangerous, undignified and somehow legitimises … the access regime by suggesting that we found a way round it through airdrops,” Rose says.
COGAT, the Israeli agency responsible for coordinating aid deliveries, referred Sky News to a statement in which it said there is “no limit on the amount of aid” allowed into Gaza.
An IDF spokesperson also denied restricting aid, and said the Israeli military “will continue to work in order to improve the humanitarian response in the Gaza Strip, along with the international community”.
In his interview five days before he was killed, Uday al Qaraan appealed to world leaders to open Gaza’s borders.
“What would happen if they just let the aid in?” he asked. “If you can fly planes and drop aid from the sky then you can break the siege, you can open a land crossing.”
The Data and Forensics team is a multi-skilled unit dedicated to providing transparent journalism from Sky News. We gather, analyse and visualise data to tell data-driven stories. We combine traditional reporting skills with advanced analysis of satellite images, social media and other open source information. Through multimedia storytelling we aim to better explain the world while also showing how our journalism is done.