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Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires
Now I’m missing your smile, hear me out
We could just ride around
And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you and my hometown …

We could call it even
Even though I’m leaving
And I’ll be yours for the weekend
‘Tis the damn season

— “‘Tis the Damn Season,” by Travis Kelce’s girlfriend

Here at Bottom 10 headquarters, located in an abandoned Houston warehouse packed with unsold Bluebonnet Bowl merchandise, we have spent the days since the end of the regular season and the beginning of bowl season contemplating, well, the season itself.

Last weekend we enjoyed Army-Navy and the various lower-level NCAA playoff games, but, like we were during Championship Week before it, we were like my dog after she buried all her toy bones in the yard and then immediately forgot where she’d hid them. Without our beloved Bottom 10 teams on the field, we were a dart without feathers. Lost.

To counter such empty mid-December feelings — and, OK, yes, to give myself an excuse to say “sorry, I have to check my phone” at the neighborhood Christmas party to avoid talking to that guy in my cul-de-sac who went to Florida State — we have a procured a list of the most Bottom 10-ish moments and memories of the 2023 college football season. We hope you enjoy it. And we hope that Connor Stalions hasn’t already ruined it for you, because we’re pretty sure we saw a guy in a Central Michigan Chippewas hat with binoculars outside our window earlier.

With apologies to Taylor Swift, 1987 Astro-Bluebonnet Bowl hero Brett Stafford and Steve Harvey, here are the Bottom 10 Moments and Other Stuff for 2023.


Bottom 10 Entrance of the Year, presented by Doors & More: Oklahoma, Week 13

No sooner had the Sooners hit the field for their season finale and all-time Big 12 finale against TCU than they accidentally reenacted the scene in “The Replacements” where Keanu Reeves & Co. fell out of the tunnel, though OU replaced the trip wire with a teammate’s head.

Bottom 10 News Conference Convo of the Year, presented by MCI Calling Cards: James Franklin on throwing deep

In the days leading up to Penn State’s pseudo-bye week against Bottom 10 stalwart UMess, Nittany Lions coach James Franklin was asked a question about taking shots downfield. Franklin reacted as if he had just been told by Jigsaw that he would have to eat his own arm off in order to escape the room. He ended his “no”-filled response by adding, “I’m hoping we can cut this out so that it doesn’t get out into the universe.” In related news, Penn State ranked 73rd in the nation in yards per play.

Bottom 10 Injury of the Year, presented by Goody’s Back & Body Pain Powders: Western Kentucky’s Bryson Washington

The WKU Hilltoppers were all up in the midst of a seesaw battle with Louisiana Tech when sixth-year linebacker Bryson Washington was involved in a huge tackle for loss. But during his stomp-footed celebration of the play, his right leg bent like my putter after missing a gimme 2-footer at the local muni course and then getting slammed into the green like Thor’s hammer. The bad news? Washington had to be helped off the field, and his crooked leg took over college football social media timelines. The good news? He returned later, recorded seven tackles and an interception, and won Conference USA Defensive Player of the Week.

Bottom 10 Field of the Year, presented by NBC’s “The Blacklist” starring James Spader: SUNY Morrisville

There were already college football fields of blue, grey, teal, and even red and purple. But NCAA Division III competitors SUNY Morrisville rolled out a new playing surface this season that is solid black. That would never work in the
Deep South, where in September such a surface would become one big skillet, but just down the road from Syracuse, the Mustangs have no such worries. Plus, it’s very slimming.

Bottom 10 Stunt of the Year, presented by Cirque du Soleil’s Bazaar: Garrett Shrader, Syracuse

Best I can tell, former St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Ozzie Smith never did his signature backflip at old Yankee Stadium, but on Nov. 11, Syracuse quarterback Garrett Shrader did one in new Yankee Stadium as the Orange hosted Pitt. He had split out wide for an attempted halfback pass and apparently believed that the impromptu gymnastics routine would provide the kind of distraction the trick play would need to work. But not only did the cornerback assigned to defend Shrader not see the flip, the play was run on the opposite side of the field, a double pass that ended flat as running back LeQuint Allen caught a lateral and threw a very deep but very incomplete pass.

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Syracuse QB backflips during team’s trick play

Syracuse runs a trick play, and quarterback Garrett Shrader does a backflip as a diversion.

Bottom 10 Other Stunt of the Year, presented by Sansabelt slacks: Iowa Cheer

Hey, at least Shrader kept his pants on …

Bottom 10 “Blind Side” of the Year, presented by the Memphis Lawyers Institute for Billable Hours: New Mexico State vs. Hugh Freeze

When Auburn and first-year coach Hugh Freeze were stunned on the Plains by a 31-10 loss to Bottom 10 legends-turned-Conference USA contenders New Mexico State, it marked only the second time in recent memory that a team went into a game as a 21-plus-point underdog but won by 21 points or more. The last time it happened? One year ago, when those same Aggies did the same thing at Liberty, which was coached by … Hugh Freeze.

Bottom 10 Uniform of the Year, presented by Pearl Jam’s “Black”: Florida Gators, Week 10

The Gators still own the distinction of having won our Bottom 10 All-Time Worst Uniforms title a few years back, via their duds that were supposed to resemble real gator skin but wound up looking like tree bark. There were no such distracting details in their military salute unis against Arkansas, which instead were solid black. Not orange. Not blue. Not even white. Black. At noon in central Florida. Those in the Swamp were having a difficult time deciding how they felt about the look. But when the Hogs were already up 14-0 after three minutes of play, Florida fans’ minds had gone to a place as dark as the threads on the field.

Bottom 10 Game of the Year, presented by Timex: Georgia Tech at Miami, Week 6

As that tweeter — or X’er, whatever — had warned, black magic was very real in 2023. Just one month earlier, the Canes seemingly had Georgia Tech put away, up three points in the middle of Yellow Jacket territory as visiting Tech had no timeouts remaining (or maybe they did; there was some confusion about that too). That’s when Miami chose to run the ball instead of taking a knee and presumably ending the game with half a minute remaining, icing the win and successfully defending its No. 17 national ranking. But the Canes ran it. And fumbled it. And then Tech went 74 yards in four plays and 25 seconds. And then Miami lost. And then the nation lost it.

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Miami’s coaching blunder leads to epic Georgia Tech comeback

Miami’s choice to run the ball leads to a crucial fumble, which Georgia Tech recovers and later completes the miracle comeback.

Bottom 10 Exit of the Year, presented by your Uncle Lonnie and his Irish exit later this month after Christmas dinner: O possum, my possum

This mad marsupial being forced to exit Texas Tech’s game with TCU back on Week 10 will be us all in a few weeks as the 2023 college football season comes to a close. And if you think he’s cute, head to Lubbock, where this possum has become a full-on critter corporation, spawning T-shirts and signage wherever the Red Raiders teams show their teeth.

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Utes’ Whittingham reenergized after ’24 free fall

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Utes' Whittingham reenergized after '24 free fall

FRISCO, Texas — A dynamic new quarterback, a new offensive system and two projected first-round picks up front have Utah coach Kyle Whittingham feeling enthusiastic about the Utes’ chances of bouncing back from a disastrous debut season in the Big 12.

Utah was voted No. 1 in the Big 12 preseason poll last year after joining from the Pac-12, but a brutal run of injuries and inconsistency resulted in a seven-game conference losing streak and a 5-7 finish — the program’s first losing season since 2013.

After weeks of contemplation about his future and what was best for the program, Whittingham, the third-longest-tenured head coach in FBS, decided in December to return for his 21st season with the Utes.

“The bottom line and the final analysis was I couldn’t step away on that note,” Whittingham told ESPN at Big 12 media days Wednesday. “It was too frustrating, too disappointing. As much as college football has changed with all the other factors that might pull you away, that was the overriding reason: That’s not us, that’s not who we are. It just left a bad taste in my mouth. I did not want to miss the opportunity to try to get that taste out.”

“The bottom line and the final analysis was I couldn’t step away on that note. It was too frustrating, too disappointing. … That’s not us. That’s not who we are. It just left a bad taste in my mouth. I did not want to miss the opportunity to try to get that taste out.”

Utah coach Kyle Whittingham on going 5-7 in 2024

Whittingham and Utes defensive coordinator Morgan Scalley conducted a national search for a new offensive coordinator and quickly zeroed in on New Mexico‘s Jason Beck. Then they managed to land Devon Dampier, Beck’s first-team All-Mountain West quarterback, via the transfer portal.

After finishing 11th nationally in total offense with 3,934 yards and 31 total touchdowns and putting up the fourth-most rushing yards (1,166) among all FBS starters, Dampier followed his coach to Salt Lake City and immediately asserted himself as a difference-maker for a program that had to start four different QBs in 2024.

“He’s a terrific athlete,” Whittingham said. “He’s a guy that, if spring is any indication, he’s an exciting player, and we can’t wait to watch him this season. … He’s got that ‘it’ factor. He’s a leader. Needless to say, very excited to see what he does for us.”

They’ve surrounded Dampier with 21 more newcomers via the transfer portal and will protect him with two returning starters at tackle in Spencer Fano and Caleb Lomu, who are projected first-round NFL draft picks by ESPN’s Matt Miller.

“We feel they’re the best tandem in the country,” Whittingham said. “The offensive line in general, I feel, it’s the best since I’ve been there. And that’s quite a statement. We’ve had some really good offensive lines. We’ve got two first-rounders and three seniors inside that have played a lot of good football for us. That better be a strength of ours, and that’s what we’re counting on.”

Whittingham has previously said he did not want to coach past the age of 65. Now that he’s 65, he acknowledges that he might’ve arrived at a different decision about his future had the Utes ended up winning the Big 12 in 2024. He is reenergized about getting them back into contention, but he’s not ready to say whether this season might be his last.

“The best answer I can give you is, right now, I’m excited and passionate about going to work every single day,” Whittingham said. “As soon as that changes, I’ll know it’s time. I’m just counting on knowing when the time is right. I can’t tell you exactly what the circumstances will be other than losing the fire in the belly.”

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MLB to utilize ABS challenge system during ASG

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MLB to utilize ABS challenge system during ASG

The automated ball-strike system is coming to the All-Star Game next week in Atlanta.

MLB officials added the feature to the annual exhibition game knowing it could be a precursor to becoming a permanent part of the major leagues as soon as next year.

The same process used this past spring training will be used for the Midsummer Classic: Each team will be given two challenges with the ability to retain them if successful. Only a pitcher, catcher or hitter can ask for a challenge and it has to happen almost immediately after the pitch. The player will tap his hat or helmet indicating to the umpire he wants to challenge while any help from the dugout or other players on the field is not allowed.

MLB officials say 72% of fans who were polled during spring training said the impact of ABS on their experience at the game was a “positive” one. Sixty-nine percent said they’d like it part of the game moving forward. Just 10% expressed negativity toward it.

MLB’s competition committee will meet later this summer to determine if ABS will be instituted next season after the league tested the robotic system throughout the minor leagues and spring training in recent years. Like almost any rule change, there were mixed reviews from players about using ABS but nearly all parties agree on one point: They prefer a challenge system as opposed to the technology calling every pitch.

As was the case in spring training, once a review is initiated, an animated replay of the pitch will be shown on the scoreboard and the home plate umpire will either uphold the call or overturn it. ABS uses Hawk-Eye system technology which tracks the pitch trajectory and location in relation to the strike zone, providing an instant assessment which can be relayed to the home plate umpire.

The All-Star Game will be played at Truist Park in Atlanta on Tuesday.

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Royals sign former Cy Young winner Keuchel

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Royals sign former Cy Young winner Keuchel

The Kansas City Royals have signed former Cy Young Award winner Dallas Keuchel to a minor league contract, the team announced Wednesday.

The 37-year-old left-hander will start at Triple-A Omaha and will earn a prorated $2 million salary if he reaches the big leagues, sources tell ESPN’s Jeff Passan.

Keuchel has not pitched in the majors for nearly a full calendar year. He elected to become a free agent on July 18, 2024, after being designated for assignment by the Milwaukee Brewers.

In four starts with the Brewers last season, Keuchel had a 5.40 ERA in 16 2/3 innings without a decision. In 13 major league seasons, the 2015 American League Cy Young winner with the Houston Astros is 103-92 with a 4.04 ERA in 282 appearances (267 starts).

After pitching his first seven seasons with the Astros, Keuchel has made appearances for six different teams since 2019. He won a World Series with Houston in 2017 and is a two-time All-Star selection and five-time Gold Glove winner.

Information from Field Level Media was used in this report.

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