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Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires
Now I’m missing your smile, hear me out
We could just ride around
And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you and my hometown …

We could call it even
Even though I’m leaving
And I’ll be yours for the weekend
‘Tis the damn season

— “‘Tis the Damn Season,” by Travis Kelce’s girlfriend

Here at Bottom 10 headquarters, located in an abandoned Houston warehouse packed with unsold Bluebonnet Bowl merchandise, we have spent the days since the end of the regular season and the beginning of bowl season contemplating, well, the season itself.

Last weekend we enjoyed Army-Navy and the various lower-level NCAA playoff games, but, like we were during Championship Week before it, we were like my dog after she buried all her toy bones in the yard and then immediately forgot where she’d hid them. Without our beloved Bottom 10 teams on the field, we were a dart without feathers. Lost.

To counter such empty mid-December feelings — and, OK, yes, to give myself an excuse to say “sorry, I have to check my phone” at the neighborhood Christmas party to avoid talking to that guy in my cul-de-sac who went to Florida State — we have a procured a list of the most Bottom 10-ish moments and memories of the 2023 college football season. We hope you enjoy it. And we hope that Connor Stalions hasn’t already ruined it for you, because we’re pretty sure we saw a guy in a Central Michigan Chippewas hat with binoculars outside our window earlier.

With apologies to Taylor Swift, 1987 Astro-Bluebonnet Bowl hero Brett Stafford and Steve Harvey, here are the Bottom 10 Moments and Other Stuff for 2023.


Bottom 10 Entrance of the Year, presented by Doors & More: Oklahoma, Week 13

No sooner had the Sooners hit the field for their season finale and all-time Big 12 finale against TCU than they accidentally reenacted the scene in “The Replacements” where Keanu Reeves & Co. fell out of the tunnel, though OU replaced the trip wire with a teammate’s head.

Bottom 10 News Conference Convo of the Year, presented by MCI Calling Cards: James Franklin on throwing deep

In the days leading up to Penn State’s pseudo-bye week against Bottom 10 stalwart UMess, Nittany Lions coach James Franklin was asked a question about taking shots downfield. Franklin reacted as if he had just been told by Jigsaw that he would have to eat his own arm off in order to escape the room. He ended his “no”-filled response by adding, “I’m hoping we can cut this out so that it doesn’t get out into the universe.” In related news, Penn State ranked 73rd in the nation in yards per play.

Bottom 10 Injury of the Year, presented by Goody’s Back & Body Pain Powders: Western Kentucky’s Bryson Washington

The WKU Hilltoppers were all up in the midst of a seesaw battle with Louisiana Tech when sixth-year linebacker Bryson Washington was involved in a huge tackle for loss. But during his stomp-footed celebration of the play, his right leg bent like my putter after missing a gimme 2-footer at the local muni course and then getting slammed into the green like Thor’s hammer. The bad news? Washington had to be helped off the field, and his crooked leg took over college football social media timelines. The good news? He returned later, recorded seven tackles and an interception, and won Conference USA Defensive Player of the Week.

Bottom 10 Field of the Year, presented by NBC’s “The Blacklist” starring James Spader: SUNY Morrisville

There were already college football fields of blue, grey, teal, and even red and purple. But NCAA Division III competitors SUNY Morrisville rolled out a new playing surface this season that is solid black. That would never work in the
Deep South, where in September such a surface would become one big skillet, but just down the road from Syracuse, the Mustangs have no such worries. Plus, it’s very slimming.

Bottom 10 Stunt of the Year, presented by Cirque du Soleil’s Bazaar: Garrett Shrader, Syracuse

Best I can tell, former St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Ozzie Smith never did his signature backflip at old Yankee Stadium, but on Nov. 11, Syracuse quarterback Garrett Shrader did one in new Yankee Stadium as the Orange hosted Pitt. He had split out wide for an attempted halfback pass and apparently believed that the impromptu gymnastics routine would provide the kind of distraction the trick play would need to work. But not only did the cornerback assigned to defend Shrader not see the flip, the play was run on the opposite side of the field, a double pass that ended flat as running back LeQuint Allen caught a lateral and threw a very deep but very incomplete pass.

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Syracuse QB backflips during team’s trick play

Syracuse runs a trick play, and quarterback Garrett Shrader does a backflip as a diversion.

Bottom 10 Other Stunt of the Year, presented by Sansabelt slacks: Iowa Cheer

Hey, at least Shrader kept his pants on …

Bottom 10 “Blind Side” of the Year, presented by the Memphis Lawyers Institute for Billable Hours: New Mexico State vs. Hugh Freeze

When Auburn and first-year coach Hugh Freeze were stunned on the Plains by a 31-10 loss to Bottom 10 legends-turned-Conference USA contenders New Mexico State, it marked only the second time in recent memory that a team went into a game as a 21-plus-point underdog but won by 21 points or more. The last time it happened? One year ago, when those same Aggies did the same thing at Liberty, which was coached by … Hugh Freeze.

Bottom 10 Uniform of the Year, presented by Pearl Jam’s “Black”: Florida Gators, Week 10

The Gators still own the distinction of having won our Bottom 10 All-Time Worst Uniforms title a few years back, via their duds that were supposed to resemble real gator skin but wound up looking like tree bark. There were no such distracting details in their military salute unis against Arkansas, which instead were solid black. Not orange. Not blue. Not even white. Black. At noon in central Florida. Those in the Swamp were having a difficult time deciding how they felt about the look. But when the Hogs were already up 14-0 after three minutes of play, Florida fans’ minds had gone to a place as dark as the threads on the field.

Bottom 10 Game of the Year, presented by Timex: Georgia Tech at Miami, Week 6

As that tweeter — or X’er, whatever — had warned, black magic was very real in 2023. Just one month earlier, the Canes seemingly had Georgia Tech put away, up three points in the middle of Yellow Jacket territory as visiting Tech had no timeouts remaining (or maybe they did; there was some confusion about that too). That’s when Miami chose to run the ball instead of taking a knee and presumably ending the game with half a minute remaining, icing the win and successfully defending its No. 17 national ranking. But the Canes ran it. And fumbled it. And then Tech went 74 yards in four plays and 25 seconds. And then Miami lost. And then the nation lost it.

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Miami’s coaching blunder leads to epic Georgia Tech comeback

Miami’s choice to run the ball leads to a crucial fumble, which Georgia Tech recovers and later completes the miracle comeback.

Bottom 10 Exit of the Year, presented by your Uncle Lonnie and his Irish exit later this month after Christmas dinner: O possum, my possum

This mad marsupial being forced to exit Texas Tech’s game with TCU back on Week 10 will be us all in a few weeks as the 2023 college football season comes to a close. And if you think he’s cute, head to Lubbock, where this possum has become a full-on critter corporation, spawning T-shirts and signage wherever the Red Raiders teams show their teeth.

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Ohtani takes Miz deep but phenom fans 12 in win

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Ohtani takes Miz deep but phenom fans 12 in win

MILWAUKEE — Shohei Ohtani greeted Jacob Misiorowski with a leadoff homer, but the Milwaukee Brewers‘ rookie phenom got the last word.

After giving up Ohtani’s 431-foot blast, Misiorowski responded with another dominant outing. He struck out a career-high 12 batters — including two-way superstar Ohtani in the third inning — to lead the Brewers to a 3-1 victory over the Los Angeles Dodgers on Tuesday night.

“It’s Shohei Ohtani,” Misiorowski said. “You kind of expect [that]. It’s cool to see him do it in action, but it fires me up even more coming back the next at-bat and striking him out. I’m right there. I think it was a moment of like, ‘OK, now we go.'”

Misiorowski, whose fastball routinely tops 100 mph, threw an 88.2 mph curveball on an 0-2 count to Ohtani, who crushed it for his 31st homer. That’s the most by a Dodgers player before the All-Star break.

It was the 21st career leadoff homer for the three-time MVP, who struck out swinging on a curveball in the third and walked to start the sixth. That was the only walk given up by Misiorowski, who scattered four hits.

“Really good stuff, aggressive in the zone,” Ohtani said through an interpreter. “But what really stood out to me was his command and control.”

Misiorowski outdueled three-time Cy Young Award winner Clayton Kershaw, who surpassed 3,000 career strikeouts in his previous outing. Asked Monday about his matchup with Misiorowski, Kershaw said he only knew that the 6-foot-7 right-hander threw hard.

“I know him now, huh?” Kershaw said Tuesday. “That was super impressive. That was unbelievable. It was really special. Everything. Obviously the velo, but he’s got four pitches, commands the ball. I don’t know how you hit that, honestly. That’s just really tough.”

Misiorowski was glad to get Kershaw’s attention.

“I saw something online that he didn’t now who I was, so I hope he knows me now,” Misiorowski said. “It’s kind of cool.”

In five starts since the Brewers called him up from the minors, Misiorowski has already beaten Kershaw and 2024 NL Rookie of the Year Paul Skenes. In another outing, Misiorowski carried a perfect game into the seventh inning.

“He’s just broken the shell,” Brewers manager Pat Murphy said. “He’s just out of the egg, all arms and legs. He’s still got gooey stuff coming off, you can see it, all arms and legs, but there’s something special about him.”

The numbers would indicate as much. Misiorowski is 4-1 with a 2.81 ERA and has given up only 12 hits in 25⅔ innings.

He topped out at 101.6 mph and threw 20 pitches of at least 100 on Tuesday. He also threw 19 curveballs after using curves only 10% of the time before Tuesday.

He was coming off his only shaky performance, giving up five runs — including a grand slam by Brandon Nimmo — and three walks over 3⅔ innings Wednesday in a 7-3 loss to the New York Mets.

It looked as if it might be more of the same after Ohtani went deep. Misiorowski responded by striking out 12 of the next 16 batters.

“I think that’s my job, is to figure it out on the fly,” he said. “I feel like I did it tonight.”

He got out of a jam in the sixth. The Dodgers trailed 2-1 and had runners on second and third with one out, but third baseman Andruw Monasterio fielded a grounder and threw out Ohtani at the plate, and Misiorowski retired Michael Conforto on a grounder.

Misiorowski pumped his fist as he headed toward the dugout, then watched the Brewers’ bullpen nail down the win.

“It’s so satisfying,” Misiorowski said. “It’s just a dream come true, to do what I did.”

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Giants walk off on Bailey’s inside-the-park homer

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Giants walk off on Bailey's inside-the-park homer

SAN FRANCISCO — Patrick Bailey hit a three-run, inside-the-park home run with one out in the ninth inning, lifting the San Francisco Giants to a 4-3 win over the Philadelphia Phillies on Tuesday night.

Bailey became just the third catcher in MLB history to hit a walk-off, inside-the-park home run, joining the Chicago Cubs’ Pat Moran in 1907 and the Washington Nationals’ Bennie Tate in 1926.

Bailey’s homer would have been an outside-the-park home run in 29 of 30 ballparks, with Oracle Park being the exception.

Mike Yastrzemski reached base twice and scored to help the Giants to their sixth win in seven games.

Casey Schmitt began the rally with a leadoff double. After Jung Hoo Lee popped out, Wilmer Flores lined a single to center.

Bailey, who grounded into a double play and struck out in two of his previous at-bats, then smashed a 1-0 fastball from Jordan Romano (1-4) into right-center field that ricocheted off the brick part of the wall.

Ryan Walker (2-3) retired one batter, with two on in the top of the ninth, to earn the win.

Phillies All-Star Kyle Schwarber had two hits, including his team-leading 28th home run.

Schwarber flew out, struck out and was hit by a pitch before homering off Giants reliever Spencer Bivens into McCovey Cove. Brandon Marsh, who singled as a pinch hitter leading off the inning, scored on the play.

Two days after being named an All-Star for the second time in his career, Robbie Ray gave up four hits and one run in 5⅔ innings.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Mets’ Mendoza: Snubbed Soto ‘an All-Star for us’

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Mets' Mendoza: Snubbed Soto 'an All-Star for us'

BALTIMORE — The New York Mets consider Juan Soto to be a bona fide All-Star, despite the snub he received from those who selected the National League squad for the Midsummer Classic on July 15.

Soto, in his first year with the Mets, has performed well enough to earn the respect of his manager and teammates. In their opinion, he’s deserving of a place in the All-Star Game next week in Atlanta.

“He’s an All-Star for us,” manager Carlos Mendoza said Tuesday night after the Mets beat Baltimore 7-6. “It’s frustrating, but I’m hoping in the next couple of days we hear something and he makes it.”

Soto drove in the winning run with a sharp single on the first pitch of the 10th inning. That capped a night in which he went 3 for 5 to raise his batting average to .269 with 21 homers and 52 RBIs.

Soto has walked 72 times, by far the most in the majors, but he can also lash out at a pitcher when necessary.

“He’s got a pretty good understanding of what the pitchers are trying to do to him,” Mendoza said. “There is his awareness of the game, he’s going to see pitchers. There are times when he’s going to be aggressive. Tonight was one of those nights. First pitch in the 10th, he’s attacking.”

Soto made the All-Star team as a member of the Nationals, Padres and Yankees each year since 2021. The streak appears to be over. But his teammates believe he deserves to go.

“What he done all year is just incredible, and the results are good enough,” Mets starting pitcher Clay Holmes said. “The consistency he’s showed up with, at the at-bats he’s taken, is more than an All-Star. He’s one of the best in the game and a big part of our lineup.”

Soto seems rather philosophical about the snub.

“Sometimes, you’re going to make it and sometimes you don’t,” he told reporters after Sunday’s loss to the Yankees. “It’s just part of baseball.”

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