There are days left until Christmas and once again, despite promising yourself you wouldn’t let your festive responsibilities creep up on you this time, you’ve left everything to the last minute.
No presents bought, turkey unordered – few things are as stressful as finding yourself unprepared for the big day.
But perhaps help has never been easier to come by. After all, if AI really is going to take all our jobs, then surely it should handle the pressure of Christmas planning?
In case you find yourself with the love and respect of your friends and family on the line, I decided to lean on some of the internet’s top AI tools to see if they could help salvage the big day at short notice.
Present ideas
ChatGPT was my choice for present ideas, concentrating on my immediate family.
Setting the budget at £50 a person, I told it my dad loves Arsenal, golf, and gadgets; mum enjoys cooking, cats, and arts and crafts; and my sister is obsessed with Taylor Swift.
For dad, it recommended Arsenal merch like a scarf, mug, or keychain, golf accessories like “a new set of golf balls, golf gloves or a golf towel”, or a “cool gadget” like a smartphone stand for his desk.
Rather dull suggestions, and “cool” is doing a lot of heavy lifting, but nothing offensive. I could work with it.
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For mum, how about some “quality cooking utensils or gadgets”? Maybe a sketchbook or knitting materials? Or how about finding her a “cute cat-themed apron or a cat-shaped cutting board”?
And for the ultimate Swiftie, I was told to consider her latest album or concert tickets “if she has a tour coming up”.
Taytay tickets for £50? Not in your wildest dreams.
When and where to buy
Sticking with ChatGPT, I asked for some shopping tips.
It didn’t get off to a great start, suggesting I indulge in Black Friday sales weeks after they’d finished.
But it said “many retailers have pre-Christmas sales and promotions in early to mid-December” too, and some “may offer last-minute discounts as Christmas approaches”.
“Consider shopping during off-peak hours or days to avoid crowds,” it added, and check online delivery times.
In terms of retailers, ChatGPT recommended Amazon, Etsy, Not On The High Street, Sports Direct and H&M, and encouraged exploring local book and craft shops.
Department stores like John Lewis and M&S were also proposed.
Personalised cards
Given my complete lack of creative talent, I thought AI might have the perfect chance to shine by making some personalised cards.
I used popular image generators Stable Diffusion and DALL-E 3.
For my sister, I asked Stable Diffusion to “design me a Christmas card cover featuring Taylor Swift holding up a boom box outside a girl’s bedroom window on a snowy evening singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You'”.
These tools are known to struggle with hands and fingers and while this fake Taylor’s left hand looks OK, her right hand… not so much.
There’s also an unsettling nutcracker quality to her agape jaw.
I used DALL-E 3 to make a card for my nan.
I asked it for a one “featuring an elderly lady making her way through a big box of chocolates, and while watching ballroom dancing” (it refused to acknowledge Strictly).
It certainly took the “big” requirement very seriously.
And for maximum efficiency, I asked both to have a go at an Arsenal card I could send to a few friends.
“Design me a Christmas card cover featuring Arsenal players Gabriel Jesus, Bukayo Saka, and Martin Odegaard in Arsenal-themed Christmas jumpers delivering presents to Mikel Arteta outside the Emirates Stadium,” I wrote.
Who’s who is anyone’s guess – and DALL-E 3 made a rather embarrassing typo.
We’ll have three meat eaters and two vegetarians to look after, and – given this is all very last minute – I told it no supermarket for miles had any turkeys left.
I also asked for a recipe for some Christmas gingerbread biscuits.
BARD’S GINGERBREAD RECIPE – THE INGREDIENTS
350g plain flour
One teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
Two teaspoons ground ginger
One teaspoon ground cinnamon
125g butter, cut into cubes
175g dark muscovado sugar
75g golden syrup
One egg, lightly beaten
Royal icing, for decorating (optional)
Suggested appetisers were butternut squash soup and mini quiches with bacon, cheddar, and caramelised onions.
For the main, it was either herb-roasted rack of lamb with roasted root vegetables or stuffed portobello mushrooms filled with quinoa, roasted veg, and herbs.
Sides were to be shared: mashed potatoes with roasted garlic and thyme (mash with Christmas dinner?!), sauteed Brussels sprouts with bacon, and cranberry sauce.
And it’s sticky toffee pudding for dessert.
BARD’S GINGERBREAD RECIPE – THE INSTRUCTIONS
Preheat the oven to 180C (160C fan) and line two baking trays with parchment paper
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, ginger, and cinnamon
Rub in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs
Stir in the sugar, golden syrup, and egg until a dough forms
Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes
On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to a thickness of about 5mm
Cut out shapes using gingerbread cutters or other cookie cutters
Place the biscuits on the prepared baking trays and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown
Allow the biscuits to cool on the baking trays for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely
Fun and games
Some games to play at the dinner table was my next request.
Bard recommended Two Truths And A Lie, I Spy, The Name Game, Heads Up, and Scattergories.
Heads Up even came with a cheeky link to the app on the Google Play Store.
“The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the time with your family and friends,” it added.
Bard, you are hopelessly naive.
CHATGPT’S SUGGESTED CHRISTMAS WATCHLIST
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
A Christmas Carol (1984)
Home Alone (1990)
Elf (2003)
The Polar Express (2004)
The Grinch (2000)
Love Actually (2003)
The Holiday (2006)
Festive tunes
Given one of the big talking points of the year has been the threat AI poses to the arts, I thought I’d explore whether Mariah Carey has anything to worry about by requesting a new Christmas song.
Lyrics were written by ChatGPT, which I asked for a song about the role AI could play at Christmas.
AN AI CHRISTMAS BALLAD
In a world of lights and snow, where the holiday spirits grow,
There’s a tale of tech and cheer, a Christmas story we hold dear.
Underneath the mistletoe, where joy and wonder freely flow,
A new companion joins the scene, it’s AI, the festive dream.
Oh, AI Christmas, bright and smart,
Spreading joy in every part.
Bytes of love and lines of code,
In this season, we all download.
Santa’s sleigh now with a twist, guided by algorithms’ bliss,
AI elves in the workshop sing, crafting toys that dreams will bring.
Through the web, a virtual tree, ornaments in binary glee,
Lights of data softly hum, a carol in the cyber drum.
Oh, AI Christmas, bright and smart,
Spreading joy in every part.
Bytes of love and lines of code,
In this season, we all download.
Machine learning in the air, predicting wishes everywhere,
Naughty or nice, it understands, with circuits spun by nimble hands.
The warmth of ones and zeros glow, in this techy festive show,
A silicon heart, so pure and true, Christmas miracles it can do.
Family calls across the globe, through video calls, we share the strobe,
AI, a virtual friend so dear, bringing those we love so near.
In every pixel, love extends, transcending where the circuit bends,
A Christmas hug in binary, connecting hearts so seamlessly.
Oh, AI Christmas, bright and smart,
Spreading joy in every part.
Bytes of love and lines of code,
In this season, we all download.
So in this yuletide, let us find, in AI’s embrace, peace of mind,
A Christmas future, bright and new, where technology and love break through.
In the glow of screens agleam, Merry Christmas, in the digital dream.
I don’t know about you, but I think Mariah’s job is definitely safe.
To be fair, ChatGPT is a fan.
Asked for some songs to build a Christmas playlist, she came out top of the pile, with Wham, Bobby Helms, Jose Feliciano, and Dean Martin rounding out its favourite five.
Britain’s biggest high street bank is in talks to buy Curve, the digital wallet provider, amid growing regulatory pressure on Apple to open its payment services to rivals.
Sky News has learnt that Lloyds Banking Group is in advanced discussions to acquire Curve for a price believed to be up to £120m.
City sources said this weekend that if the negotiations were successfully concluded, a deal could be announced by the end of September.
Curve was founded by Shachar Bialick, a former Israeli special forces soldier, in 2016.
Three years later, he told an interviewer: “In 10 years time we are going to be IPOed [listed on the public equity markets]… and hopefully worth around $50bn to $60bn.”
One insider said this weekend that Curve was being advised by KBW, part of the investment bank Stifel, on the discussions with Lloyds.
If a mooted price range of £100m-£120m turns out to be accurate, that would represent a lower valuation than the £133m Curve raised in its Series C funding round, which concluded in 2023.
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That round included backing from Britannia, IDC Ventures, Cercano Management – the venture arm of Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen’s estate – and Outward VC.
It was also reported to have raised more than £40m last year, while reducing employee numbers and suspending its US expansion.
In total, the company has raised more than £200m in equity since it was founded.
Curve has been positioned as a rival to Apple Pay in recent years, having initially launched as an app enabling consumers to combine their debit and credit cards in a single wallet.
One source close to the prospective deal said that Lloyds had identified Curve as a strategically attractive bid target as it pushes deeper into payments infrastructure under chief executive Charlie Nunn.
Lloyds is also said to believe that Curve would be a financially rational asset to own because of the fees Apple charges consumers to use its Apple Pay service.
In March, the Financial Conduct Authority and Payment Systems Regulator began working with the Competition and Markets Authority to examine the implications of the growth of digital wallets owned by Apple and Google.
Lloyds owns stakes in a number of fintechs, including the banking-as-a-service platform ThoughtMachine, but has set expanding its tech capabilities as a key strategic objective.
The group employs more than 70,000 people and operates more than 750 branches across Britain.
Curve is chaired by Lord Fink, the former Man Group chief executive who has become a prolific investor in British technology start-ups.
When he was appointed to the role in January, he said: “Working alongside Curve as an investor, I have had a ringside seat to the company’s unassailable and well-earned rise.
“Beginning as a card which combines all your cards into one, to the all-encompassing digital wallet it has evolved into, Curve offers a transformative financial management experience to its users.
“I am proud to have been part of the journey so far, and welcome the chance to support the company through its next, very significant period of growth.”
IDC Ventures, one of the investors in Curve’s Series C funding round, said at the time of its last major fundraising: “Thanks to their unique technology…they have the capability to intercept the transaction and supercharge the customer experience, with its Double Dip Rewards, [and] eliminating nasty hidden fees.
“And they do it seamlessly, without any need for the customer to change the cards they pay with.”
News of the talks between Lloyds and Curve comes days before Rachel Reeves, the chancellor, is expected to outline plans to bolster Britain’s fintech sector by endorsing a concierge service to match start-ups with investors.
Lord Fink declined to comment when contacted by Sky News on Saturday morning, while Curve did not respond to an enquiry sent by email.
Lloyds also declined to comment, while Stifel KBW could not be reached for comment.
The UK economy unexpectedly shrank in May, even after the worst of Donald Trump’s tariffs were paused, official figures showed.
A standard measure of economic growth, gross domestic product (GDP), contracted 0.1% in May, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
Rather than a fall being anticipated, growth of 0.1% was forecast by economists polled by Reuters as big falls in production and construction were seen.
It followed a 0.3% contraction in April, when Mr Trump announced his country-specific tariffs and sparked a global trade war.
A 90-day pause on these import taxes, which has been extended, allowed more normality to resume.
This was borne out by other figures released by the ONS on Friday.
Exports to the United States rose £300m but “remained relatively low” following a “substantial decrease” in April, the data said.
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Overall, there was a “large rise in goods imports and a fall in goods exports”.
A ‘disappointing’ but mixed picture
It’s “disappointing” news, Chancellor Rachel Reeves said. She and the government as a whole have repeatedly said growing the economy was their number one priority.
“I am determined to kickstart economic growth and deliver on that promise”, she added.
But the picture was not all bad.
Growth recorded in March was revised upwards, further indicating that companies invested to prepare for tariffs. Rather than GDP of 0.2%, the ONS said on Friday the figure was actually 0.4%.
It showed businesses moved forward activity to be ready for the extra taxes. Businesses were hit with higher employer national insurance contributions in April.
The expansion in March means the economy still grew when the three months are looked at together.
While an interest rate cut in August had already been expected, investors upped their bets of a 0.25 percentage point fall in the Bank of England’s base interest rate.
Such a cut would bring down the rate to 4% and make borrowing cheaper.
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Analysts from economic research firm Pantheon Macro said the data was not as bad as it looked.
“The size of the manufacturing drop looks erratic to us and should partly unwind… There are signs that GDP growth can rebound in June”, said Pantheon’s chief UK economist, Rob Wood.
Why did the economy shrink?
The drops in manufacturing came mostly due to slowed car-making, less oil and gas extraction and the pharmaceutical industry.
The fall was not larger because the services industry – the largest part of the economy – expanded, with law firms and computer programmers having a good month.
It made up for a “very weak” month for retailers, the ONS said.
Monthly Gross Domestic Product (GDP) figures are volatile and, on their own, don’t tell us much.
However, the picture emerging a year since the election of the Labour government is not hugely comforting.
This is a government that promised to turbocharge economic growth, the key to improving livelihoods and the public finances. Instead, the economy is mainly flatlining.
Output shrank in May by 0.1%. That followed a 0.3% drop in April.
However, the subsequent data has shown us that much of that growth was artificial, with businesses racing to get orders out of the door to beat the possible introduction of tariffs. Property transactions were also brought forward to beat stamp duty changes.
In April, we experienced the hangover as orders and industrial output dropped. Services also struggled as demand for legal and conveyancing services dropped after the stamp duty changes.
Many of those distortions have now been smoothed out, but the manufacturing sector still struggled in May.
Signs of recovery
Manufacturing output fell by 1% in May, but more up-to-date data suggests the sector is recovering.
“We expect both cars and pharma output to improve as the UK-US trade deal comes into force and the volatility unwinds,” economists at Pantheon Macroeconomics said.
Meanwhile, the services sector eked out growth of 0.1%.
A 2.7% month-to-month fall in retail sales suppressed growth in the sector, but that should improve with hot weather likely to boost demand at restaurants and pubs.
Struggles ahead
It is unlikely, however, to massively shift the dial for the economy, the kind of shift the Labour government has promised and needs in order to give it some breathing room against its fiscal rules.
The economy remains fragile, and there are risks and traps lurking around the corner.
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Concerns that the chancellor, Rachel Reeves, is considering tax hikes could weigh on consumer confidence, at a time when businesses are already scaling back hiring because of national insurance tax hikes.
Inflation is also expected to climb in the second half of the year, further weighing on consumers and businesses.