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Americans are choosing to remain in a living situation with their exes amidst the ongoing housing crisis, a move that experts say may prove emotionally taxing despite the potential financial benefits.

“High housing costs are causing more couples to cohabitate despite the fact the romantic flames of their marriage have been extinguished,” real estate broker Chuck Vander Stelt told Fox News Digital.

“I have had conversations with several divorcing couples who have been weighing options and looking to time the market. In the meantime, they are continuing to live together.”

Stelt believes the trend of cohabitation after divorce or breakups is growing as he has experienced an influx of those in their 30s and 40s, often with children, weighing the options of selling versus cohabitating. In the past, Stelt said homeowners who separated were adamant that the property should be sold as soon as possible.

“Many homeowners are sitting on a mortgage with a rock bottom interest rate and a comfortable house payment. It’s hard to let that go and face the alternative of meaningfully higher housing costs,” he added.

The inclination to remain shacked up with former lovers has been reported in the media over the last several years, especially amid the fallout from the COVID-19 pandemic.

Relationship advice websites and message boards, such as Reddit, are filled with pagers where renters and homeowners have asked whether they should remain in their current living situation.

Americans have even documented their experiences living with exes on TikTok, offering advice to those facing a similar conundrum.

TikToker @-diaryofamomma posted a variety of videos in late 2023 where she showed what life is like when you live with an ex and you share two children. The son and daughter typically stay with the mother in one room while the dad sleeps on the couch.

The mom, “Cassie,” said they still live together because the landlord would not allow them to break the lease without paying for the rest of the term in full. They both share responsibility for the kids and clean the house.

“Honestly, me and their dad like think of a bad roommate. Somebody you don’t like but you have to live with because you have a lease together. Like, that’s what we are,” Cassie said. “I try not to bother him. He doesn’t bother me.”

Dating coach Deon Black said the reasons people choose to live with their exes often boil down to the three F’s: finances, familiarity, and fear.

“The cost of moving out can be prohibitive, especially considering current real estate prices. And let’s not forget the contractual obligations that sometimes bind people together like super glue rental contracts signed in happier times that now seem as unbreakable as a bad habit,” he said.

Black said while not an earth-shattering trend, exes living together is indeed a growing phenomenon created out of necessity, more so than choice.

“Millennials are leading this charge, followed closely by Gen Z. Younger generations are most affected by this trend due to economic pressures,” he said.

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Amid rising interest rates and housing shortages, Black said Americans are trying to save money and maintain stability, especially if kids are involved. But the possible downside is substantial, with the dating coach citing the potential for emotional stress, conflict and the difficulty of moving on.

After living with her ex, TikToker Alana Hogan offered tips to those embroiled in the same living situation.

“Everyone is going to heal in different ways and everyone has different coping strategies. Your way is going to be entirely different to his or her way,” she said.

She urged her followers not to view their former partner’s actions as a reflection of themselves and to set healthy boundaries of where each person will be in the apartment or house.

“Be really clear and open with your communication. Let them know what you feel comfortable with, what you don’t feel comfortable with. What you feel open about talking about and what you don’t,” she added.

Viral relationship coach Jake Maddock previously addressed the idea of living with an ex, stressing that deciding to stay under the same roof means you are still technically in a relationship.

“You can’t emotionally separate and not physically separate. You have to separate physically as well,” he said.

Sexologist Suzannah Weiss concurred with the idea that it is usually easier for people to have a “clean break” and keep exes out of their lives following a breakup.

Weiss noted that some people might agree to live with their exes temporarily because they are busy with work, allowing this period to drag on without a determined expiration date. Others live in rent-controlled apartments and cannot find something affordable when they cut things off, leading to decisions “born out of convenience.”

“However, sometimes, people keep living with their exes because they are afraid to fully let go. They may tell themselves it’s for convenience or for financial reasons, but the truth is that they are terrified to be completely without this person,” she told Fox News Digital.  

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New York lawmaker wants to tax crypto sales and transfers

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New York Assemblymember Phil Steck introduced a bill that would see the state tax the sale and transfer of crypto assets.

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Four things we learned from Sir Mel Stride’s Electoral Dysfunction interview

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Four things we learned from Sir Mel Stride's Electoral Dysfunction interview

Since last year’s general election, Sir Mel Stride has become a familiar face for those of us who like our politics.

During the campaign, he regularly found himself on breakfast TV and radio. So much so, Sir Mel was referred to as the “minister for the morning round” by some of our industry colleagues.

By our count, he was on Sky News Breakfast at least 10 times during the campaign’s 43 days.

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Following the election, and losing the Conservative leadership race to Kemi Badenoch, Sir Mel now puts questions to Rachel Reeves as shadow chancellor.

Still seen as a safe pair of hands, Sir Mel’s penchant for doing the “morning round” hasn’t slowed down either, making regular appearances on breakfast TV and radio.

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Luckily, he found some time between all that to sit down for an interview with Sky’s Beth Rigby for the Electoral Dysfunction podcast. He spoke about his transition to Opposition, taking on Reform, and the most controversial topic in Westminster – lunch.

Here’s what we learned:

1. Opposition isn’t ‘awful’ – but it is like ‘warfare’

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‘I think people will see through Reform’s populism’

Before the election, Sir Mel served as work and pensions secretary. Shifting to the Opposition was not “awful”, despite losing the muscle of the civil service.

“But it is like guerrilla warfare,” he said.

“You suddenly lose all the trappings of government. Somebody once said to me, ‘when you get in the back of a car and you sit down and it doesn’t go anywhere, that’s when you realise you’re no longer a minister’.

“So it is that sort of sense of being looked after that disappears.”

There’s also a smaller team of Conservatives in the Commons. Before the election, Rishi Sunak had 343 MPs behind him.

Ms Badenoch currently only has 119.

“When you’re down to 120 MPs – and some set piece events, there might be only a fraction of those people there – it’s much quieter.

“What I actually often do is I can be quite provocative of the Opposition to get them going, because then at least you get something to feed off. Sometimes I do that to, just get the energy in the chamber.”

2. Being at the despatch box on big days can be ‘tricky’ – but he has a ‘secret’

You may remember Sir Mel’s lively response to Rachel Reeves’s spring statement in March. He revealed that, on those big political days, he isn’t told what the chancellor will say until about half an hour before it’s said in the Commons.

“It does give you and your team literally 10 or 15 minutes to… work out what the main things are,” he said.

However, he tells Electoral Dysfunction that you do have to be able to think on your feet in that scenario.

He said: “You are thinking about ‘what are the attack lines I’m going to use?’… and amend what you’re going to do.”

He added that he doesn’t get nervous. That might have to do with Sir Mel having been president of the Oxford Union debating society “many, many years ago”.

“Now the secret’s out. The secret is out Beth, and you’re the first to have gleaned that secret from me,” he said.

To be fair, it is on his website.

3. He’s not a huge fan of Reform

Nigel Farage
Image:
Nigel Farage

As the Conservatives battle with Reform for the right, Sir Mel didn’t have many positive words for Nigel Farage’s party.

“With Reform… these are populists, who peddle fantasy economics,” he said.

“‘Take everybody out of income tax up to £20,000 costs about £80bn according to the IFS [Institute For Fiscal Studies].”

The IFS has said it needed “more detail” to exactly cost Reform’s proposal, but “it could easily be in the range of £50 to £80bn a year”.

“I think ultimately,” Sir Mel says, “people will see through a lot of the populism that Reform stands for.”

He added that he believed that Reform’s 2024 manifesto, was, economically, “a work of fiction”.

“I mean, it’s quite dangerous, actually. I think if they’d been elected… the economy would have gone into a very bad place,” he said.

4. His ideal lunch? A cheese and ham toastie

Ms Badenoch and Sir Mel see eye-to-eye on many things - lunch isn't one of them. Pic: PA
Image:
Ms Badenoch and Sir Mel see eye-to-eye on many things – lunch isn’t one of them. Pic: PA

Sir Mel also addressed the most pressing issue of all – lunch.

If you’re unaware, this has proven a controversial subject in Westminster. Ms Badenoch told The Spectator in December she was “not a sandwich person… lunch is for wimps”.

In March, however, Ms Reeves gave a rebuttal to Electoral Dysfunction, revealing she whips up a cheddar sandwich in 11 Downing Street when she can.

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Sir Mel falls more in line with his opposite number than his leader.

“I’ve always liked a sandwich, particularly a toasted sandwich,” he said.

“I’d go with the Cadillac, the Rolls Royce of sandwiches, a ham and cheese.”

Sir Mel has previously, however, been partial to some more peculiar fillings.

“Do you remember those Breville toastie makers? When I went to university, I had one of those, or whatever the equivalent was,” he said.

“You could put baked beans in, eggs in, and all sorts of things.

“It was fantastic.”

To each, their own.

Electoral Dysfunction unites political powerhouses Beth Rigby, Ruth Davidson, and Harriet Harman to cut through the spin, and explain to you what’s really going on in Westminster and beyond.

Want to leave a question for Beth, Ruth, and Harriet?

Email: electoraldysfunction@sky.uk

WhatsApp: 07934 200444

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