‘I was born intersex and doctors tried to erase me. It’s important to speak out’
For years through childhood and early adulthood, Raven van Dorst felt different. The response evoked in others was always ‘too’: too loud, too wild, too aggressive, too messy.
It wasn’t until a visit to a doctor, aged in their early 20s, that it all fell into place. Having struggled to fit in as a little girl, then a young woman, the medic confirmed van Dorst had been born intersex, with aspects of both male and female sex characteristics, and operated on as a baby. It was something their parents had never spoken about.
“I never felt like a girl,” they say now. “I never felt like a boy either. I didn’t know what to feel, what to think.”
The doctor’s explanation made sense of years of frustration. I got a bit of a malfunctioning in my head, but all of a sudden, a lot became clear. It was kind of a relief… At the same time, I also got very sad. I felt disconnected to my family for a while until I could find the courage and the energy to talk to them about it.”
Now aged 39, van Dorst is a rock musician and presenter, a judge on Drag Race Holland and a well known TV personality in the Netherlands. In 2021, they made the decision to change their name and go by they/ them pronouns. Later this month, their rock-metal band Dool will release third album The Shape Of Fluidity, which tackles the themes of gender and identity in today’s changing world.
While coming to terms with who they are and their past has not been easy, the singer says they want to speak out about their experiences to anyone who might be struggling.
“When I was younger, I didn’t know anything about myself. I thought I was a lesbian, and even that was hard back then. I was desperately trying to find like-minded people and thought they didn’t exist. I was lonely and misunderstood and if I had someone back then who could show me the way, I would [have been] really grateful for that.”
‘They called it normalising’
Pic: Mark Nolte
Following the discovery about their birth, they were told they had been operated on to remove male sex characteristics, at the age of about nine months. “My parents didn’t know what to do with the information,” van Dorst says. “It was in ’84, there was no Google.
“They trusted the doctor, [who] said they had to pick a gender, a biological sex, and ‘adjust’ – mutilate, I feel. They called that ‘normalising’ back in the day, you ‘normalise’ an intersex child and pick a sex, basically. And that’s what they did to me. I got mutilated as a baby.
“My parents were advised never to talk about it with me and everything will be fine, we’ll give the child hormones when they’re reaching puberty, stuff like that. But of course, that didn’t work because I always felt different. And people told me I was different.”
Teachers would say not to behave like a boy. “But I’m not a girl, you know? I felt that it wasn’t me. I lived my whole youth like that.”
Last week, the United Nations Human Rights Council voted to adopt a resolution designed to protect the rights of intersex people, the first initiative of its kind and described as a landmark moment by campaigners.
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Intersex is a general term for variation within a person’s sex traits, including genitals or internal sex organs, hormones or chromosomes, and the UN estimates that up to 1.7% of babies are born with some form of intersex characteristics.
Many intersex adults exposed to such surgery as children can suffer significant physical and mental suffering, the UN says, including as a result of extensive and painful scarring. Like van Dorst, many also feel they have been forced into sex and gender categories that do not fit.
For van Dorst, it was changing their name and pronouns that made them feel truly liberated. “I felt like I was living the lie the doctors forced me in. They put me in this female straitjacket from which I have been trying to get out of… It took me another couple of years to realise that if I’m not changing my name or changing my pronouns, nothing’s going to change.”
Van Dorst changed details on their passport and on the birth papers that claimed they were born a girl. “Reclaiming my birthright, basically. They tried to erase me from f****** history, erase my nature from history. It’s not right.”
‘It’s okay to be non-conforming’
Dool will play in the UK later this year. Pic: David Fitt
The name Dool is derived from the Dutch word for wandering, and the singer says the upcoming album is about broader themes of identity, personal to all the bandmates. But their story is inevitably intertwined. The song Venus In Flames deals with “shaking off societal expectations, obliterating gender roles”, while Hermagorgon features “gorgon”, the Greek word for female monsters.
“I feel that those doctors, when I was born and they were standing at my cradle, they saw a little monster. They saw a monster, and they tried to fix it. I’m singing, you can’t fix me. I’d rather be your f****** monster than live the lie you’ve made for me.”
Van Dorst says they sought solace in music to escape bullying in childhood, “for being too boyish, too ugly”, and recalls hearing Nirvana for the first time.
“When I was younger, I would dress up like Kurt Cobain, tear up my trousers, dye my hair green and have a mohawk or whatever. I discovered very soon that if you do that on the streets, people make fun of you. But if you go on stage, people think you’re cool. A freak on the streets, but a hero on the stage.”
As the debate around transgender rights continues, The Shape Of Fluidity aims to show how identity can change, with artwork featuring a flag made out of ice.
The cover of The Shape Of Fluidity features a flag made of icy water
“It feels that ever since COVID, the world is going a little bit mad,” says van Dorst. “Polarisation is a really big issue, misinformation is a really big issue, you don’t know what you can believe. Everything that comes through your phone… it’s so much, more than a human brain can handle, in a way.
“This is something we try to address on the album. On the cover, you see a flag, a symbol of identity. You have the UK flag, you can say, this is my country, or there’s a rainbow flag – this is my community – or the flag of your favourite football club. It appeals to a certain part of your identity. And this flag of ours is a changing element, it can evaporate, it can freeze, it can fall from the sky.
“That is exactly what we as a band try to express: it’s okay to be non-conforming and to change and to shape yourself. You don’t have to be a finished and polished person all the time. You can have doubts… I hope it appeals to soul-searching people like us.”
Our interview follows the recent comments made by Harry Potter author JK Rowling, who dared police to arrest her over legislation that came into force in Scotland earlier this month.
The new measures aim tackle harm caused by hatred and prejudice, extending protections from abusive behaviour to people on grounds including age, disability, religion, sexual orientation and transgender identity. Critics such as Rowling claim the legislation could stifle free speech – and fails to extend these protections to women. The author has been widely condemned in recent years for her views on transgender rights.
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Van Dorst says they believe in free speech and understand some of Rowling’s points, but that her arguments are “dangerous”.
“I think people can say whatever the f*** they want, but they should expect a reply, too. She’s acting as if she’s being silenced but no one is silencing her.
“I really do get her points. She wants to protect female rights and they always have been under fire. But she must understand what the LGBT and trans community is going through. I mean, women have been going through that for centuries as well. She should be an ally, in my opinion, not an enemy.
“There should also be space for others, just like there’s now more space for women than there’s been in the centuries before. It’s dangerous and it’s kind of hateful.”
For Dool, van Dorst hopes the music can offer comfort, support, a friend, even, to anyone struggling.
“It’s been a long process, a hard process, I’m not going to lie. I don’t feel like a victim or anything, but it hasn’t been easy.
“Ever since I came out, I’ve had so much response from kids and parents and people in general fighting with gender issues. Struggling with a lot of stuff, and they say [things like], ‘Your story helped me so much because now I can talk to my grandmother, who really likes you on television and thinks you’re really funny. Now I can say, grandma, I kind of feel like Raven does’.
“I never aimed for that. I just basically wanted to rid myself of the straitjacket I was put in. But at the same time, accidentally, it helped a lot of people. Now I understand that it’s important to speak a little louder about this – especially with all the violent voices that are arising all around us at the moment.”
The Shape Of Fluidity is released on 19 April and Dool will perform at Damnation Festival in Manchester in November
Entertainment
Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX BRIT Awards appearances spark hundreds of Ofcom complaints
Ofcom received 825 complaints over the Brit Awards, with the majority relating to Sabrina Carpenter’s raunchy performance and Charli XCX’s outfit, the media watchdog says.
US pop star Carpenter, 25, sported a red sparkly military-style blazer dress for her performance at the awards show on Saturday night, paired with stockings and suspenders for a rendition of Espresso.
The song was mixed with a Rule Britannia mash-up, as dancers in military parade dress followed her.
She then switched to a red sparkly bra and shorts for her next song, Bad Chem, which she performed alongside dancers in bras and shorts while sitting suggestively on a large bed.
Sabrina Carpenter performing her second song. Pic: Reuters
Carpenter later received the global success award at the ceremony, and was also nominated in the international artist and international song of the year categories.
But much of the buzz on social media surrounded her performance, which took place before the 9pm watershed.
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Highlights from the 2025 BRIT Awards
Ofcom said some of the complaints were also aimed at British pop sensation Charli XCX, who dominated the night by winning five awards, including album of the year.
Some viewers took issue with her outfit – a black see-through dress.
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The singer addressed the concerns during her acceptance speech for artist of the year, saying: “I heard that ITV were complaining about my nipples. I feel like we’re in the era of ‘free the nipple’ though, right?”
Carpenter paid tribute to the UK in her acceptance speech, saying: “The Brits have given me this award, and this feels like such an insane honour in a very primarily tea-drinking country… you really understood my dry sense of humour because your sense of humour is so, so dry. So I love y’all more than you even understand.”
Actor Noel Clarke begins his High Court libel case against The Guardian’s publisher today.
Clarke, 49, is suing Guardian News and Media (GNM) over a series of articles it published about him in April 2021.
They were based on the claims of 20 women Clarke knew “in a professional capacity” who allege his behaviour towards them amounted to sexual misconduct.
Clarke, known for his roles in the Kidulthood trilogy and Dr Who, “vehemently” denies “any sexual misconduct or wrongdoing”.
What will the trial cover?
Clarke is suing GNM for libel, sometimes also referred to as defamation.
It’s a civil tort – not a criminal offence – defined as false written statements that have damaged the person’s reputation. This means Clarke can seek redress or damages but no one will face charges or prison.
Clarke claims the articles The Guardian published in 2021 altered public opinion of him, damaged his reputation, and lost him work.
He said after the allegations emerged: “In a 20-year career, I have put inclusivity and diversity at the forefront of my work and never had a complaint made against me.
“If anyone who has worked with me has ever felt uncomfortable or disrespected, I sincerely apologise. I vehemently deny any sexual misconduct or wrongdoing and intend to defend myself against these false allegations.”
The Guardian is defending the claim on the basis of truth and public interest.
At a premiere in London in 2013. Pic: PA
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It said in its statement: “Our reporting on Noel Clarke in 2021 was based on the accounts of 20 brave women. After we published our first article, more women came forward.
“At trial, 32 witnesses are set to testify against Mr Clarke under oath. We look forward to a judge hearing the evidence.”
The trial will only focus on liability – not the amount of damages to be paid if Clarke is successful.
The actor tried and failed to get the case struck out in January, with his legal team saying it had “overwhelming evidence” of “perversion of the course of justice”.
His lawyers told the High Court three of the journalists involved in the articles had “deliberately and permanently” deleted messages, which meant he could not get a fair trial.
Lawyers for GNM told the court there was “no adequate evidential basis” for Clarke’s application for a strike out and said it sought “to smear Guardian journalists and editors without any proper justification”.
The trial, which will be presided over by judge Mrs Justice Steyn, is expected to last between four and six weeks.
In July 2015. Pic: PA
What has happened since the articles were published?
A month before the articles about him were published in April 2021, Clarke received BAFTA’s outstanding contribution to British cinema award.
However, once the allegations against him emerged, he was suspended by the organisation and the prize rescinded.
His management and production company 42M&P told Sky News they were no longer representing him and Sky cancelled its TV show Bulletproof, starring Clarke and Top Boy actor Ashley Walters as the lead roles.
ITV also decided to pull the finale of another of his dramas, Viewpoint, following the Guardian articles.
The Met Police looked into the allegations against Clarke for any potential criminal wrongdoing, but in March 2022 announced they “did not meet the threshold for criminal investigation”.
Clarke filed the libel claim the following month and has attended several of the preliminary hearings in person.
He says he has faced a “trial by media” – and that the ordeal has left him suicidal and in need of professional help.
At the UK premiere of Kidulthood in London’s Leicester Square in 2006. Pic: PA
‘Rising star’
Clarke made his TV debut in a revived version of Auf Wiedersehen Pet in 2002.
Soon after he played Mickey Smith in Dr Who and Kwame in the six-part Channel 4 series Metrosexuality.
He wrote and starred in the film trilogy Kidulthood, Adulthood, and Brotherhood, which were based in west London, where he grew up, and explored the lives of a group of teenagers given time off school after a bullied classmate takes their own life.
It was a box office success and eventually saw Clarke given BAFTA’s rising star prize in 2009.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
Entertainment
Liam Payne’s girlfriend Kate Cassidy says she is ‘still working on accepting’ his death
Liam Payne’s girlfriend Kate Cassidy has opened up about the singer’s death, saying she is “still working on accepting the fact that he’s not here anymore”.
The singer, 31, died in October last year after falling from a hotel balcony in Argentina.
Cassidy was with Payne in Buenos Aires but flew to the US days before the British pop star star died.
In an emotional interview with ITV presenter Lorraine Kelly, she said: “It’s hard for me to refer to him in the past tense, and when I do refer to him in the past tense it almost stings that little bit more because… it just … it’s more official.”
Cassidy, 25, said she has her “harder days” and has sometimes struggled “to get out of bed in the morning”, but added: “I’m surrounded by such a great support system that I cannot thank enough.”
Payne and Cassidy. Pic: Instagram/Kate Cassidy
She praised Kelly and ITV for launching a new mental health initiative, which she is helping to promote, and said: “I genuinely believe Liam, in a way, guided me to this campaign and wanted me to be involved in this, and to help other people.”
Cassidy, an American social media influencer, said that he “was so open about his mental health” and she is supporting the push as “he no longer can help people”.
She added: “I’m going through this healing journey, sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of bed in the morning and something I don’t want to do.
“But I have this responsibility and this obligation that I am almost in a way… I have no choice. I have to get out of bed [for my dog] Nala and whether it’s a five-minute walk or 20-minute walk first thing in the morning.
“Either way, it just wakes me up and refreshes my mind instead of laying in bed all day just scrolling through social media or old photos, it gets me out of bed and really, really helps my mindset and my mental health.”
Kate Cassidy and model Damian Hurley at Payne’s funeral service in November. Pic: PA
Cassidy, who began dating Payne in 2022, previously said he was “the most humble, charming, normal person you could ever hope to come across, and genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life”.
Court documents state that former One Direction star Payne fell from the balcony of his room on the third floor of the Casa Sur Hotel in Buenos Aires at about 5.10pm on 16 October.
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Toxicology tests revealed that before his death, he had traces of alcohol, cocaine, and a prescription antidepressant in his body.
His cause of death was “polytrauma” from multiple injuries and internal and external bleeding, a postmortem found.
Last month, manslaughter charges against Payne’s friend Rogelio “Roger” Nores, hotel operator Gilda Martin, and head of reception Esteban Grassi were dropped following an appeal.
Hotel employee Ezequiel Pereyra and waiter Braian Paiz are still facing prosecution for allegedly supplying Payne with drugs, having been charged in December. Supplying drugs in Argentina carries a sentence of up to 15 years in prison.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK
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