There’s a house honey, way across town People coming from miles around Put on your pretty red dress Let’s go see about this mess That’s it, baby let’s git And go way far upon the hill
We’re gonna have a whole lotta fun We gonna greet the risin’ sun All night long we gonna ball Until we hear yo mama call That’s it, baby let’s git And go way far upon the hill
There’s a thrill upon the hill Let’s go, let’s a-go, let’s go
— “Let’s Go” Hank Ballard and The Midnighters
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, currently stowed away in a storage container on the freighter ship carrying Desmond Howard’s pocket squares to Ireland for “College GameDay,” we are ready to be resurrected from our winter/spring/summer football hibernation. Now let’s hope the teams on the list you are about to receive are ready to do the same.
Same. That’s a word that we won’t use much during the 2024-25 (like, way into ’25) college football season. Realignment has bankrupted Rand-McNally. The transfer portal has been like a merry-go-round hooked up to Max Verstappen’s RB20, the spring model. And when December arrives, it will bring with it a 12-team College Football Playoff that is designed to finally make everyone happy and will likely make no one happy.
That’s why the arrival of the Bottom 10 feels like a warm hug from your grandma. It’s still the same it’s always been. It’s familiar. It’s soft. It smells a little like eggs. But in a world that feels as unsettled as Tim Legler in an L.A. earthquake, it is also the anchor we need … even if the teams who brought it to us always forget to pull that anchor off the bottom of the ocean before attempting to sail. Y’all better get going. Dez needs his squares.
With apologies to Napoleon McCallum, John Paul Jones and Steve Harvey, here are the preseason Bottom 10 rankings for 2024.
Ty Pennington’s alma mater joins the ranks of FBS and thusly adds its name to the prestigious Annowls, er, Annals of Bottom 10 Owls, taking their head-turning perch on a dry-rotted tree branch alongside Temple, Rice and FA(not I)U.
The Warhawks bring in new head coach Bryant Vincent, who immediately felt a draft in his office. When he traced the air leak into the locker room, he discovered a transfer portal exit tunnel hidden behind a Louisiana-Monroe schedule poster, almost like he was the warden in “The Shawshank Redemption.”
The Golden Flashes, winners of one game in 2023, will spend three of their first four weekends traveling to Pitt, Tennessee and Penn State. The good news is the school will receive large checks for those trips. The bad news is it will end up spending most of that money on BenGay and Band-Aids.
Not to get too far ahead of ourselves, but Akron travels to Kent State on Nov. 19 for what could be the Bottom 10 Pillow Fight of the Century of the Year. So, go on and circle it. In crayon.
Apparently, it wasn’t enough for the Wolverines to win the national title or even to dominate the box office alongside “Deadpool.” Instead, Go Blue has decided to go all-in on a public thumbing of their collective Big House noses at the NCAA, whether it be departed head coach Jim Harbaugh at the news conference podium in Los Angeles or the decision to defiantly invite him back for the season opener after he’d been handed a show-cause by the folks in Indianapolis. I’m no expert on thumbing one’s nose, but I am a bit of an expert on the Wolverine, and no one should ever thumb their nose using adamantium claws.
The Minutemen will play their last season as an independent before moving to #MACtion in 2025. But wait just a, well, minute here. If you’re a Minuteman, isn’t fighting for independence like your whole thing?
The second flock of Owls in our rankings will play former Bottom 10 stalwart-turned-bowl regular R.O.C.K. in the UTSA during Week 13. Why is that significant? Because UTSA hosts Kennesaw State in Week 1 … visits Rice in Week 7 … and welcomes FAU in Week 8 … which means in 2024 the Roadrunners will go beak-to-beak with all four FBS Owls. So, do they have to play all those games at night?
New Minors head coach Scotty Walden led a winning program in FCS at Austin Peay, where the for-real school cheer is “Let’s go Peay!” Now he’s going to be walking around the Sun Bowl shouting, “Let’s go U-T-E-Peay!” which sounds like a condition one might need to take to their urologist.
This spot came down between a pair of #MACtionites in Baller State and the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills. The Cards have been in the Bottom 10 deck ever since 2015, the last of Pete Lembo’s five seasons in Muncie. Now he’s head coach at Buffalo. The teams play Nov. 12. Until then, the Bottom 10 status of both will likely be in, yes, Lembo.
The prodigal Panthers return. Back in 2014, this team was the first champ of a Ryan McGee-chosen Bottom 10. However, they eventually turned the Atlanta street corner and became semi-annual bowl visitors under head coach Shawn Elliott, including last season’s 7-6 squad that won the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. But Elliott shockingly left the team two days into spring practice and his Georgia State roster jumped into the portal like it was a Six Flags Over Georgia waterslide. So, who did State Not Southern hire to take over? Dell McGee. Are we related? No. Are we family? Now we are, yes.
Waiting list: Charlotte 3-and-9ers, EC-Yew, Buffalo Bulls Not Bills, Sam Houston we have a problem, Fa-La-La-La-La Tech, State of New Mexico and New Mexico State, UCan’t, maps … all of them.
BOSTON — New York Mets manager Carlos Mendoza said he’ll talk to Juan Soto about hustling out of the batter’s box after the slugger watched his would-be home run bounce off the Green Monster for a single Monday night against the Boston Red Sox.
Leading off the sixth inning on a chilly night at Fenway Park with a 15 mph wind blowing in from left field, Soto hit a 102 mph line drive to left and stood watching as it sailed toward the 37-foot-high wall. The ball hit about two-thirds of the way up, and Soto was able to manage only a single.
“He thought he had it,” Mendoza told reporters after his team’s 3-1 loss. “But with the wind and all that, and in this ballpark — anywhere, but in particular in this one, with that wall right there — you’ve got to get out of the box. So, yeah, we’ll discuss that.”
Soto stole second on the first pitch to the next batter, but the $765 million star ended up stranded on third. He denied lollygagging on the basepaths.
“I think I’ve been hustling pretty hard,” he said. “If you see it today, you can tell.”
It’s not uncommon for balls that hit off the Green Monster to result in singles. In the first inning, Pete Alonso was thrown out trying for second base on a ball off the left-field wall. But Soto had also failed to run hard out of the box on a groundout Sunday night at Yankee Stadium.
ESPN baseball reporter. Covered the L.A. Rams for ESPN from 2016 to 2018 and the L.A. Angels for MLB.com from 2012 to 2016.
LOS ANGELES — Hyeseong Kim started in center field to take some of the burden off Tommy Edman‘s tender ankle and wound up losing a baseball in the twilight. Jack Dreyer opened for Landon Knack in hopes of maximizing matchups against the opposing Arizona Diamondbacks, and yet the two surrendered seven runs within the first three innings.
On Monday night, they were bad enough on defense and ineffective enough on the mound that their mighty offense could not make up the difference. They lost 9-5 at Dodger Stadium, suffering their first four-game home losing streak since May 2018.
“We haven’t given up, but you’re going to go through certain situations like this,” Dodgers shortstop Mookie Betts said. “It’s just tough. We got to find a way to get back healthy, get our guys back out there. But we’re battling with what we’ve got.”
Three critical members of the Dodgers’ rotation are currently on the injured list; Blake Snell, Tony Gonsolin and Roki Sasaki are all nursing shoulder injuries with uncertain timelines. Four high-leverage relievers — Kirby Yates, Blake Treinen, Evan Phillips and Michael Kopech — have hit the shelf since the start of spring training. And in the wake of that, a Dodgers organization that has been lauded for its ability to absorb injuries, most recently by riding bullpen games to a championship, has been unable to overcome.
Forty-eight games in, the Dodgers (29-19) possess a 4.28 ERA, which ranks 22nd in the major leagues. Their rotation, hailed as one of the sport’s deepest collections of arms when the season began, holds baseball’s sixth-highest ERA at 4.51.
“It’s not the staff we thought we’d have this season,” Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said. “But I feel that what we still do and have done in the past with injuries, we’re not doing. And I say that in the sense of getting ahead of hitters and keeping the ball in the ballpark.”
Dodgers pitchers rank sixth in home run rate and have started behind in the count on 117 batters this season, tied for ninth most in the majors.
Dodgers coaches have spent the past few days preaching the importance of getting ahead and thus commanding counts in hopes of fostering a more aggressive approach from their staff. Dreyer seemed to carry that mindset with him early, getting ahead on three of his first four hitters. But the fourth sent a fly ball to straightaway center field that Kim, a rookie second baseman making his first career Dodger Stadium start at the position, never saw. It landed for an RBI double, igniting a two-run first inning.
The D-backs added another run in the second, on an errant throw from third baseman Max Muncy, a wild pitch from Dreyer and a sacrifice fly from Geraldo Perdomo. Four more came in the third, when Knack, vying for a long-term spot in the rotation, surrendered two-run homers to Lourdes Gurriel Jr. and Gabriel Moreno.
By that point, the Dodgers, coming off getting swept by the crosstown-rival Los Angeles Angels, faced a 7-0 deficit they could not overcome. Shohei Ohtani belted his major-league-leading 17th home run, Betts added two of his own, and the rest of the lineup rallied to make things interesting in the bottom of the ninth. But it wasn’t enough.
The Dodgers’ offense, which got Edman and Teoscar Hernandez back from injury in the past two days, is whole at this point. L.A.’s pitching staff is far from it.
SAN FRANCISCO — Kris Bubic‘s no-hit bid for the Kansas City Royals ended with an official scoring change Monday night.
Bubic initially got through six innings against the San Francisco Giants without allowing a hit — only to have an error charged to Royals second baseman Michael Massey changed to a single before the start of the seventh.
With two outs in the sixth, Wilmer Flores hit a grounder toward second base. Massey moved to his left and was in position to make the play but slipped to the ground at the edge of the grass as the ball rolled past him into the outfield.
The play was initially ruled an error by official scorer Michael Duca, and Bubic then struck out Jung Hoo Lee to end the inning and keep the game scoreless.
But moments later, Duca changed his call to a base hit for Flores.
In the seventh, Bubic (5-2) gave up a one-out double to Casey Schmitt for San Francisco’s second hit. His ERA fell to 1.47 as he struck out five and walked three, and the Royals went on to beat the Giants 3-1.
Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.