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Inspirational thought of the week:

Woke up this morning my house was cold
Checked out the furnace she wasn’t burnin’
Went out and hopped in my old Ford
Hit the engine but she ain’t turnin’
We’ve given each other some hard lessons lately
But we ain’t learnin’
We’re the same sad story, that’s a fact
One step up and two steps back

— “One Step Up,” Bruce Springsteen

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in Room 02 on the second floor of a building located at address 0 2nd Street, we find ourselves after Week 2 obsessed with the number two. Like, we are sitting alone at a two-person desk, wearing a Deion Sanders No. 2 Florida State jersey, shakily holding a No. 2 pencil and scribbling on a double roll of two-ply toilet paper our 200-word, two-act play about two-time All-SEC running back Deuce McAllister.

Why such two-facedness? Because after two weeks of across-the-nation play, the long-term candidates for Bottom 10 residency are beginning two, er, I mean, to ease into a second lane of their own. And how do we identify these teams who are singing to a different twoon, er, tune? They are the ones who already have two losses. And of the 134 teams that play FBS football, their number is already down to 18, and all but one of those are 0-2. (No-vada, at 1-2, is out there rolling a lopsided snake eyes after its Week 0 kickoff.)

Now that peloton of two-loss squads heads downhill into Week 3. How many will continue to match losses with the week number like an octogenarian hoping to shoot their age on the golf course? Stay twoned, er, tuned. We already have our No. 3 Joe Montana college jersey at the ready, certainly more ready than his alma mater was for Week 2.

With apologies to Al Toon, Dave Duerson, Washington Huskies twins Jayvon and Armon Parker, Monmouth defensive back Deuce Lee and Steve Harvey, here’s the post-Week 2 Bottom 10 rankings.


The Zips continued their march through the Big Ten, following a season-opening 56-6 loss at Ohio State with a 49-17 defeat at Rutgers. This week they host Colgate, which is good timing because they need someone to help repair all the teeth that were knocked out of their mouths during those first two weeks.


The Owls made their FBS home debut, hosting the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana and losing 34-10. Now they sing, “Do You Know the Way to San José?” as they go West to face the Spartans, a team they’ve never played before, who in turn are singing, “The First Time Ever I Kenne-saw Your Face.”


After an 0-2 start, the L-obos failed to cover the spread against the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U. Now they travel to The Plains to face Coveted Fifth Spot contender Auburn, which means an uneasy phone call over to archenemy Whew Mexico State, which has beaten Hugh Freeze the past two years, once when he was coach at Liberty and once when he was at Auburn. Beep. “Um, hey guys, I know we had that whole thing last winter when we banned you from using our facilities for bowl practice because your QB peed on our logo and we know we play in two weeks in our most vicious rivalry contest but, well, um, LOL, bygones and all that, could you send us your Auburn film? Preferably without it being peed on?”


Our second-highest flying parliament of Strigiformes continues its pursuit of Kennesaw for Bottom 10 Owl air supremacy, following up their 48-point Week 1 loss to longtime pass-slingers Oklahoma with a 27-point defeat at Navy, which hasn’t thrown a pass since Roger Staubach graduated.


The Northern Ill-ugh-noise Huskies went to South Bend and: A. Ran the ball 45 times. 2. Committed no turnovers. Thirdly. Won nearly every other statistical category. IV. Cashed a check for $1.4 million. And E. Not only dropped Notre Dame into the Coveted Fifth Spot, they also produced a psychological sequel to Texas A&M’s Week 1 nightmare, “Notre Dame Loss 2: Electric NIU Boogaloo.”


The Minors were tunneled under at home by Southern Utah of FCS in OT. It was the best showing for a group of Thunderbirds in El Paso since the Air Force’s legendary fighter jet demo team did a flyover of the Sun Bowl and immediately realized they were at the wrong bowl game.


The Minutemen continued their march to MAC membership in 2025, opening the season with a home loss to Eastern Not Western Michigan and a Week 2 defeat at Toledo. Now they travel to see the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills, ahead of midseason trips to My Hammy of Ohio and Notre Dame’s daddies in Dekalb. Wait, are we 100% sure they aren’t already in the MAC and we just didn’t realize it?


Speaking of #MACtion, the Bronc-nos are in fact currently a MAC member, though thus far 2024 feels like an audition for the Big Ten after opening with trips to Wisconsin and Ohio State. However, after losing by a combined score of 84-14, this audition is like the time I tried out for “American Gladiators.”


The Cowboys are an FBS program that for whatever reason people back East always seem to think is an FCS program. Meanwhile, the Idaho Vandals were an FCS powerhouse who moved up to FBS, and during that time, they played Wyoming frequently but could never beat them. Then, in 2018, Idaho became the first program to voluntarily move back down to FCS, thus a lot of people still think it’s in FBS. So, when Idaho finally beat Wyoming on Saturday, it was one of three FCS-over-FBS upsets over the weekend, but one that people either knew was an FCS-FBS upset but thought it was the other way around or didn’t realize it was an FCS vs. FBS game at all.


Meanwhile, everyone knew that Kent State’s loss to the St. Francis Red Flash was an FCS-over-FBS upset because their reaction to the 23-17 score was: “What in the name of St. Francis is a Red Flash?!”

Waiting list: FSU Semi-no’s, Snore Eagle, Big (Black and) Blue Nation, Minute Rice, UCan’t, Not The Jacksonville You Think It Is State, FA(not)I U, Charlotte 0-and-2ers, Sam Houston we have a problem, Actual Houston we have a problem, flopping.

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Yamamoto-led Dodgers oust Reds to reach NLDS

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Yamamoto-led Dodgers oust Reds to reach NLDS

LOS ANGELES — Yoshinobu Yamamoto struck out nine while pitching into the seventh inning, and the Los Angeles Dodgers broke it open with a four-run sixth to beat the Cincinnati Reds 8-4 on Wednesday night and advance to the National League Division Series.

The defending World Series champion Dodgers advanced to their 20th NLDS appearance — 13th in a row — in franchise history and will face the Phillies starting Saturday in Philadelphia. The teams last met in the postseason in 2009, when the Phillies beat the Dodgers in the NL Championship Series for the second straight year.

“I know we can win the whole thing,” Betts said. “We’ve got to continue to pitch, timely hitting and play defense, and everything should be OK.”

After hitting a playoff franchise-record-tying five home runs in a 10-5 win in the NL Wild Card Series opener Tuesday, the Dodgers eliminated the Reds by playing small ball and rapping out 13 hits — two fewer than in Game 1. Mookie Betts went 4-for-5 with three doubles, tying Jim Gilliam in Game 4 of the 1953 World Series for most doubles in a postseason game in team history.

After the Reds took a 2-0 lead in the first, Yamamoto retired the next 13 batters.

The Dodgers rallied to take a 3-2 lead before the Japanese right-hander wiggled his way out of a huge jam in the sixth. The Reds loaded the bases with no outs on consecutive singles by TJ Friedl, Spencer Steer and former Dodger Gavin Lux.

Austin Hays grounded into a fielder’s choice to shortstop and Betts fired home, where catcher Ben Rortvedt stepped on the plate to get Friedl. Yamamoto then retired Sal Stewart and Elly De La Cruz on back-to-back swinging strikeouts to end the threat.

“I was just trying to bring my everything out there,” Yamamoto said through an interpreter.

With blue rally towels waving, Yamamoto walked off to a standing ovation from the crowd of 50,465.

“Once he got the two outs, I think he kind of smelled blood right there and was able to attack and get the last out,” Betts said.

Yamamoto got the first two outs of the seventh before leaving to a second ovation. The right-hander gave up two runs, four hits and walked two on a career-high 113 pitches. It was the most pitches by a Dodger in the playoffs since Walker Buehler threw 117 in Game 5 of the 2019 NLDS.

For the second straight night, the fans’ mood soured in the eighth. Reliever Emmet Sheehan gave up two runs, making it 8-4, before the Reds brought the tying run to the plate against Alex Vesia. He got Friedl on a called third strike to end the inning in which Sheehan and Vesia made a combined 41 pitches. On Tuesday, three Dodgers relievers needed 59 pitches to get three outs in the eighth.

Rookie Roki Sasaki pitched a perfect ninth, striking out Steer and Lux on pitches that touched 101 mph.

The Dodgers stranded runners in each of the first five innings, but they took a 3-2 lead on Enrique Hernández‘s RBI double and Miguel Rojas‘ RBI single that hit the first-base line to chase Reds starter Zack Littell.

Shohei Ohtani‘s RBI single leading off the sixth ended an 0-for-9 skid against Reds reliever Nick Martinez. Betts added an RBI double down the third-base line and Teoscar Hernández had a two-run double that extended the lead to 7-2.

It was Betts’ third postseason game with four or more hits as a Dodger; nobody else in franchise history has more than one.

Yamamoto could have had a scoreless first, but Teoscar Hernández dropped a ball hit by Hays that would have been the third out. Hernández hugged Yamamoto in the dugout after the Japanese star left the game.

Stewart’s two-run RBI single with two outs eluded a diving Freddie Freeman at first for a 2-0 lead. It was Cincinnati’s first lead in a postseason game since Game 3 of the 2012 NLDS against San Francisco.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

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Machado makes Cubs pay for Imanaga ‘mistake’

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Machado makes Cubs pay for Imanaga 'mistake'

CHICAGO — Cubs manager Craig Counsell defended his decision to leave lefty Shota Imanaga in the game to face righty Manny Machado in the fifth inning of the San Diego Padresvictory in Game 2 of the NL Wild Card Series on Wednesday.

Machado hit a first pitch splitter for a two-run home run, extending the Padres’ lead to 3-0, the eventual final score.

A deciding Game 3 will be at Wrigley Field on Thursday.

“The results suggest that we should have done something different,” Counsell said after the loss. “Really just confidence in Shota, plain and simple there. I thought he was pitching well. I thought he was throwing the ball really well and, unfortunately, he made a mistake.”

The decision came after Fernando Tatis Jr. walked and then took second on Luis Arraez‘s sacrifice bunt. That created an open base. Counsell said he considered walking Machado but decided to pitch to him instead.

“Walking him wasn’t in my head,” Imanaga said through an interpreter. “That splitter was meant for down in the zone.”

Counsell had righty Mike Soroka ready, but he decided against going to him. It was a curious move, considering the Cubs used an opener to start Game 2, purposely allowing Imanaga to avoid facing Tatis and Machado in the first inning.

That wasn’t the case in the fifth.

“I don’t put a manager’s cap on,” Machado said when asked if he was surprised that he got to face Imanaga in that situation. “I’m 0-for-6 at that point. So yeah, I’m not thinking about that. For myself, I was just thinking about trying to get to Imanaga.”

Said Padres manager Mike Shildt: “I’ve got my hands full with my own club. I can’t be thinking about anybody else’s strategy.”

The teams will play a winner-take-all Game 3 on Thursday. The Padres will start former Cubs pitcher Yu Darvish. Righty Jameson Taillon will take the hill for Chicago.

“I’m excited,” Taillon said. “As [Game 2] got going there, I started to get excited for tomorrow. You do a lot of work throughout the season for big moments. I’m looking forward to it.”

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Yanks force G3 on Chisholm’s mad dash home

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Yanks force G3 on Chisholm's mad dash home

NEW YORK — Jazz Chisholm Jr. zipped all the way home from first base on Austin Wells‘ tiebreaking single in the eighth inning, and the New York Yankees extended their season Wednesday night with a 4-3 victory over the Boston Red Sox in Game 2 of their AL Wild Card Series.

Unhappy he was left out of the starting lineup in the opener, Chisholm also made a critical defensive play at second base that helped the Yankees send the best-of-three playoff to a decisive Game 3 on Thursday night in the Bronx.

“What a game. I mean, it has been two great games, these first two,” New York manager Aaron Boone said. “A lot of big plays on both sides.”

In the latest chapter of baseball’s most storied rivalry, the winner advances to face AL East champion Toronto in a best-of-five division series beginning Saturday. It will be the fourth winner-take-all postseason game between the Yankees and Red Sox, and the first since the 2021 AL wild card, a one-game format won by Boston.

“Should be a fun night,” Red Sox manager Alex Cora said.

Ben Rice hit an early two-run homer and Aaron Judge had an RBI single for the Yankees, who received three innings of scoreless relief from their shaky bullpen after starter Carlos Rodón put the first two batters on in the seventh.

Devin Williams worked a one-hit eighth for the win, and David Bednar got three outs for his first postseason save. Judge pumped his fist when he caught Ceddanne Rafaela‘s fly ball on the right-field warning track to end it.

Trevor Story homered and drove in all three runs for the Red Sox, who won the series opener 3-1 on Tuesday night behind ace lefty Garrett Crochet.

With the score tied in the seventh, Chisholm saved a run with a diving stop of an infield single by pinch hitter Masataka Yoshida.

“Unbelievable play,” Rice said. “That’s what you are going to get from him — just a guy who will give 110% every play.”

Story then flied out with the bases loaded to the edge of the center-field warning track to end the inning, and fired-up reliever Fernando Cruz waved his arms wildly to pump up the crowd.

“I almost got out of his way,” Boone said, drawing laughs. “There’s a passion that he does his job with, and it spilled over a little bit tonight. I am glad it was the end of his evening at that point.”

Said Rice: “I felt like I could see every vein popping out of his head.”

Chisholm also made a tough play to start an inning-ending double play with two on in the third — the first of three timely double plays turned by the Yankees.

“He’s a game-changer,” Judge said. “He showed up at the park today and had the biggest plays for us.”

There were two outs in the eighth when Chisholm drew a walk from losing pitcher Garrett Whitlock. Chisholm was running on a full-count pitch when Wells pulled a line drive that landed just inside the right-field line and caromed off the low retaining wall in foul territory.

Right fielder Nate Eaton made a strong, accurate throw to the plate, but the speedy Chisholm beat it with a headfirst slide as Wells pumped his arms at first base.

“Any ball that an outfielder moves to his left or right, I have to score, in my head,” Chisholm said. “That’s all I was thinking.”

With the Yankees threatening in the third, Boston manager Alex Cora lifted starter Brayan Bello from his first postseason outing and handed the game to a parade of relievers who held New York in check until the eighth.

Hard-throwing rookie Cam Schlittler (4-3, 2.96 ERA) will start Game 3 for New York, and rookie left-hander Connelly Early (1-2, 2.33 ERA) will pitch for Boston in place of injured Lucas Giolito. It will be the second winner-take-all game in MLB postseason history in which both starting pitchers are rookies.

Schlittler, 24, grew up in Boston, where he attended Northeastern University, but has said he always wanted to play for the Yankees. Early has made four major league starts since his debut on Sept. 9.

Information from The Associated Press and ESPN Research was used in this report.

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