Sweet Bobby catfish victim Kirat Assi on taking her pain to the screen

Published

3 months ago

October 13, 2024

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The latest true crime documentary to hit our screens is described as “a fairytale romance gone horribly wrong”. It labels itself “one crazy story” in its opening scene.

But while Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is a true story, the near-decade of deception, manipulation and coercion it depicts isn’t a crime.

Catfishing – the name given to using fake online profiles to trick others into believing they are in a relationship – is not illegal in the UK.

Kirat Assi, the subject of Netflix‘s Sweet Bobby documentary tells Sky News: “People say, ‘How can you be so stupid?’ That’s the constant question you get. But none of us [victims] are stupid. It’s just the perpetrator’s gone the extra mile.”

Thought to be the UK’s longest-known catfishing scam, it’s the story of Kirat, an events assistant and radio presenter, who was deceived into believing she was in an online relationship with a cardiologist called Dr Bobby Jandu between 2009 and 2018.

Using the identity of a real person who Kirat had once briefly met, the perpetrator spent years building up the fake friendship, with the relationship becoming romantic from late 2015. They even became engaged.

But nothing was what it seemed, and every interaction – with around 60 people in total across multiple social platforms – was all one of Kirat’s distant relatives.

Kirat admits she wasn’t keen for the first telling of the story via Tortoise Media’s podcast of the same name in 2021, let alone the documentary it’s now inspired.

So why is she allowing it to be shared with the world via the world’s largest streaming platform?

Now 44, Kirat says: “At the moment of her confession, I was screaming, ‘Why?’ But I’ve long ago let go of that… There’s just no reason to have done what she did. Now, I just need to know how she did it.”

How unlucky can one person be?

The documentary sets out how, during Kirat’s relationship with Bobby, he was shot six times in Kenya; put into witness protection in New York; suffered a stroke, brain tumour and heart attack; and fathered a secret child.

But while Kirat concedes she found it “strange,” “a bit weird,” and even asked herself “How unlucky can one person be?”, a circle of Bobby’s friends and family always validated the events in his life across numerous forms of social media.

The couple would Skype call all night and share voice notes and messages constantly.

Kirat is at pains to say it wasn’t a 10-year romance, and that initially she baulked at the idea due to their friendship being firmly in the “bro-zone”. But after years of persuasion, she says she finally gave in and they became a couple.

‘My life was hellish’

Towards the end of the relationship, Kirat says Bobby became controlling, accusing her of flirting with other men, and discouraging her from going to work or seeing friends and family.

She says that’s when things took a turn for the worse: “I started to lose weight… It was coercive control, to a point where you’re thoroughly being abused, where you don’t have any sense of yourself left anymore. And you’re just scared all the time”.

That’s when she hired a private detective, confronting the real-life Bobby on the doorstep of his family home in Brighton.

Kirat says: “I was just trying to find out the truth in that last period, but at the same time trying to keep the peace and not rock the boat because my life would be made hell. And it was hellish enough already.”

‘Victim shaming is dangerous’

Despite reporting it to police in 2018, no charge has ever been filed. The Met Police confirmed to Sky News that the case was closed in 2019 but has since been re-opened for reinvestigation.

A 2020 civil action, believed to be the UK’s first successful claim of its kind relating to catfishing – resulted in a private apology and substantial payout the following year.

Kirat hopes the documentary will inspire other victims of catfishing to speak out.

“There’s so much online abuse and bullying. There’s so much victim shaming, which stops people from speaking up… all of us have been suffering in silence.”

She says she’s received vicious abuse and trolling online since the podcast was released in 2021.

Kirat’s relative declined to be interviewed for the film, but her representatives told documentary producers: “This matter involves events that began when she was a schoolgirl. She considers it a private matter and strongly objects to what she describes as ‘numerous unfounded and damaging accusations'”.

‘I dare not speak for her’

She’s not seen her relative since the day she came to her home to confess the deception.

She admits she “dare not speak for her,” adding that there’s still fear in her close-knit London Sikh community about speaking out .

“I guess people are still scared of what she might do, even if the case is open. [People are afraid] because of the non-action from the police, the slow action from the police, the limited actions from the civil case. People just don’t have the faith that it’s been dealt with in order for them to speak up.”

But Kirat refuses to be silenced: “The person that did it needs to be held accountable. I can’t bear the brunt of being blamed for bringing it out in the open. I’ve had to do what’s right for me,

‘People expect me to be a whimpering wreck’

Six years after her world fell apart, Kirat’s dating again.

She says she’s back to her “old fiery self”, admitting, when people realize who she is, they “have the shock of their life because they expect me to be a whimpering wreck”.

But parts of her life are still disrupted: “I have to be very careful about what I do and how I do it, who’s Googling me when it comes to work things.”

And with technology at our fingertips 24/7, Kirat has a word of warning: “It’s becoming easier to do it. The crazy things that AI and online can do now are just getting worse. I feel like I’ve had a lucky escape that it didn’t happen to me now.”

Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is streaming on Netflix from Wednesday 16 October.

Entertainment

‘Music is back’ as Taylor Swift helps drive record UK sales

Published

4 hours ago

January 8, 2025

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'Music is back' as Taylor Swift helps drive record UK sales

UK music sales hit a 20-year high of £2.4bn in 2024, helped by pop megastar Taylor Swift’s latest album, and driven by streaming and the vinyl revival, figures show.

Revenues from recorded music reached an all-time high, more even than at the peak of the CD era, according to annual figures from the digital entertainment and retail association ERA.

Total consumer spending on recorded music – both subscriptions and purchases – topped the previous record of £2.2bn in 2001, ERA said.

Takings from streaming services including Spotify, YouTube Music, and Amazon rose by 7.8% to a little over £2bn.

Almost £200m was spent on vinyl albums, an annual uplift of 10.5%, while CD album revenues were flat at just over £126m.

Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department was the biggest-selling album of the year, aided by her record-smashing worldwide Eras tour.

More than 783,000 copies were bought, nearly 112,000 of them on vinyl – making it 2024’s biggest-selling vinyl album.

The biggest single of the year was Noah Kahan’s Stick Season, generating the equivalent of 1.99 million sales.

ERA chief executive Kim Bayley said 2024 was “a banner year for music, with streaming and vinyl taking the sector to all-time-high records in both value and volume.

Ms Bayley called it the “stunning culmination of music’s comeback which has seen sales more than double since their low point in 2013. We can now say definitively – music is back.”

Music revenues grew by 7.4% in 2024, while video rose by 6.9%, and games fell by 4.4%, according to preliminary figures.

Subscriptions to Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV grew by 8.3% to £4.5bn – almost 90% of the sector’s revenues.

Deadpool & Wolverine was the biggest-selling title of the year, with sales of 561,917 – more than 80% of them sold digitally.

Despite the games sector’s 4.4% decline last year, it remains nearly twice as large as the recorded music business.

Full game sales saw a drop-off with PC download-to-own down 5%, digital console games down 15% and boxed physical games down 35%, in favour of subscription models which grew by 12%.

EA Sports FC 25 – formerly known as Fifa was once again the biggest-selling game of the year, generating 2.9 million unit sales, 80% of them as digital formats.

Entertainment

Aubrey Plaza says death of filmmaker husband is an ‘unimaginable tragedy’

Published

1 day ago

January 7, 2025

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Aubrey Plaza says death of filmmaker husband is an 'unimaginable tragedy'

Actress Aubrey Plaza has described the death of her filmmaker husband as an “unimaginable tragedy”.

Jeff Baena was pronounced dead at 10.39am on Friday at a home near the Hollywood Hills and Los Feliz areas of Los Angeles.

On Monday, a medical examiner ruled the 47-year-old had taken his own life.

In a statement released to the media, Parks And Recreation star Plaza, 40, said: “This is an unimaginable tragedy.

“We are deeply grateful to everyone who has offered support. Please respect our privacy during this time.”

Baena, a director and screenwriter, worked with Plaza on 2014 horror film Life After Beth and 2017 historical comedy The Little Hours.

The couple had been in a relationship since about 2011 and married in 2021.

Previously, Plaza told The Ellen DeGeneres Show she and Baena “got a little bored one night” during the COVID pandemic and decided to wed after celebrating their 10th anniversary.

She said after finding a wedding officiant online to perform the ceremony in their garden, she “created a very quick love altar in our yard” where they married.

Baena wrote 2020 thriller Horse Girl, starring Alison Brie, and 2022 dark comedy Spin Me Round, both of which he also directed.

He also co-wrote the 2004 comedy I Heart Huckabees alongside director David O Russell, which boasted a stacked cast that included Jude Law, Jason Schwartzman, Dustin Hoffman, Naomi Watts, Lily Tomlin and Mark Wahlberg.

Baena created the anthology comedy series Cinema Toast, which had an episode directed by Plaza and another starring Community actress Brie.

On X, Hollywood actor and comedian Marc Maron wrote: “Very sad about the tragic loss of a true artist and sweet guy.”

Sundance Film Festival, where Baena’s directorial debut Life After Beth premiered in 2014, wrote: “We extend our heartfelt thanks to Jeff Baena for sharing his stories and contributing to the lasting memories we’ve built together.

“Jeff, we’ll miss your wit, humour, and daring vision. Rest in peace, friend.”

Plaza had been announced as a presenter at Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony earlier this week before her husband’s death.

Director Brady Corbet, who won best director for his film, The Brutalist, said in his acceptance speech: “My heart is with Aubrey Plaza and Jeff’s family.”

Plaza was nominated for a Golden Globe in 2023 for her role in the second series of HBO dark comedy White Lotus and is also known for Disney+ series Agatha All Along, and films including Megalopolis, My Old Ass, Ingrid Goes West, Dirty Grandpa and Emily The Criminal.

Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) confirmed it attended the residence where Baena died and said a coroner will lead the investigation.

If you are in need of support, Samaritans run a helpline which is open day and night, 365 days a year, on 116 123. You can also email jo@samaritans.org, or visit samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.

Entertainment

RuPaul says his ‘heart is broken’ following death of The Vivienne

Published

2 days ago

January 6, 2025

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RuPaul says his 'heart is broken' following death of The Vivienne

RuPaul has said his “heart is broken” following the death of former Drag Race winner, The Vivienne.

The drag queen and TV presenter said on Instagram on Monday he joined the entire Drag Race universe in mourning the loss of The Vivienne, whom he called “an incredibly talented queen and a lovely human being”.

The Vivienne, whose real name was James Lee Williams, won the first series of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK in 2019.

The 32-year-old’s death was confirmed by their publicist Simon Jones on Sunday evening.

Danny Beard, who won the reality show in 2022, called The Vivienne “a proper entertainer” and “one of the most passionate, talented, geeky, girls I’ve ever known” and their death meant “there’s a piece missing now”.

Cheddar Gorgeous, that year’s runner-up, said on Instagram they had lost “a peer, a friend and an icon”, adding that “the entire world of entertainment grieves” and it was “impossible to make sense of such sadness”.

Bagachipz said on social media they would “talk to you before I go onstage for every single show I do”, calling The Vivienne a “powerhouse when you hit that stage”.

The Vivienne’s ex-husband, David Ludford, said the performer “made me feel love and shown me what it was really like to love someone”.

The Vivienne, 32, rose to prominence in 2015 after becoming the UK Drag Ambassador for the American series of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

The show sees drag queens competing in front of a panel of judges to become the next drag superstar.

The Vivienne, whose drag name came from their love of designer Vivienne Westwood, later competed in the first UK series of the show in 2019, going on to win it after lip-syncing in the final to the Wham! hit I’m Your Man.

Williams, who was born in Wales, also came third on the 2023 series of Dancing On Ice.

A spokesman for Cheshire Police said officers were called to a house in Chorlton-by-Backford, near Chester, at 12.22pm on Sunday following reports of a sudden death.

The force said there were “no suspicious circumstances”.