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Inspirational thought of the week:

So put me in the ground

Put me six foot down

And let the stone say

“Here lies the girl whose only crutch, Was loving one man just a little too much”

If you go before I do, I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two

Dig two

— “Better Dig Two,” The Band Perry

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the medical tent where the neck braces are stored to help Joey Galloway heal from whiplash after entire Saturdays of rapidly turning his head to go “WTH?” after every point made by Dan Mullen, we know that the college football seasons make the clubhouse turn into the back nine, the room where we live can become a rapidly emptying place.

At the start of each autumn, coaches love to remind us that every team in the land is beginning the season with a zero in the loss column. But never do they dare go through the Bottom 10 looking glass and allow themselves to be reminded that every team in the land also kicks off with a zero on the other side of that hyphen, or dash, or whatever it is, in the win column.

So, while those who claim to love the game continue to count and recount the dwindling number of FBS programs that remain undefeated, we here, who truly adore this sport on a deeper level, like to remind everyone of the other countdown of records. Those teams that are still seeking their first victory of the fall.

The room of undefeateds is still in double digits, a whopping 10. So what’s the point in applauding that? Here in the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe, we are down to only two winless squads. The unbeaten room is so crowded we are going to call the fire marshal. Our room, the beaten room, college football’s most exclusive club, only needs a fire extinguisher.

With apologies to Deuce McAllister, David “The Deuce” Palmer, Duce Staley, Rob Base and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 8 Bottom 10 rankings:

The Golden(plated) Flashes lost their 16th straight game, to four-loss Boiling Green after losing a Pillow Fight of the Week to four-loss Baller State, and now they face three-loss Western Not Eastern Or Central Michigan, who sit atop the #MACtion standings. This is awesome if you’ve ever dreamed of seeing someone fall up a flight of stairs.


The New Owls on the Block (NO²TB) came off their bye week and resumed their chase of Kent as the nation’s only remaining oh-fer teams. Now Kennesaw Mountain will spend Wednesday night traveling to Liberty Mountain, where the undefeated Flames open every game with a prayer before leaving opponents without one.


The Eagles make a big jump/fall in these rankings, thanks in part to being one of the first FBS programs to fire its head coach (heeeey, East Carolina …) and also because they found a potential Fun Belt dancing partner for a potential season finale Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of Century, or PFOWYOC, pronounced “puh-fow-yok,” which is also what Will Hall angrily called everyone in the front office as he was escorted out. And who is that PFOWYOC against?


The East Coast Trojans, who have charged into the top bottom four after three straight Fun Belt losses and now face the Fightin’ Butches of Arkansaw State, the same team that just ended Will Hall’s tenure in Hattiesburg.


A yellow flag was thrown on the field. Then Horns fans threw a bunch of stuff on the field. Then the flag was picked up off the field. Then the trash was picked up off the field. But … there was never another flag thrown because of the stuff thrown on the field?


The good news for the Blazers is that even though they keep losing, no one can see it because the entire state of Alabama is shrouded in thick white smoke from the dumpster fire on the Plains and the panic attacks in Tuscaloosa.


The Other Other Aggies continue their 2026 Pac-12 Admittance party by playing like a 2022 Pac-12 team, falling to 1-6 after losing to New Mexico’s non-Aggies. Now, while we are obsessing over current #MACtion PFOWYs and future Fun Belt PFOWYOCs, Utah State is hitting the road for a showdown that has snuck up on us, against …


The Chowboys knew the way to San Jose, but unfortunately, Spartans wideout Nick Nash knew the way to the end zone for the seventh straight game. If Wyoming is going to fulfill its dream of three-peating as Arizona Bowl champions, it can’t lose again this season.


New Duke head coach Manny Diaz has now successfully beaten the coach who embarrassed him at Texas, UNC’s Mack Brown, his alma mater FSU, and in two weeks has a chance to ruin the year for the school that fired him three years ago, Miami. The last time someone went through ACC country like this, they were carrying orders from Sherman.


The Buttermakers are 1-6 and 0-4 in conference play. After an open date, they host Northworstern, which is 3-4 and 1-3 in the conference. With all the changes in college football, especially in the Big Ten, this game is like being wrapped up in an old blanket from your grandma’s house. Sure, it needs to be washed and it smells like a gym sock dipped in kitty litter and VapoRub, but at least it’s familiar.

Waiting list: UMess, FI(notA)U, UTEPid (aka the team that just beat FIU), Temple of Doom, Living on Tulsa Time (aka the team that just lost to Temple of Doom), Whew Mexico State, Me-dle Tennessee, Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-Tech, Baller State, Miss Sus Hippie State, Snore Eagle, Akronmonious, flopping.

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Source: Rangers happy if Bochy stays beyond ’25

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Source: Rangers happy if Bochy stays beyond '25

The hiring of Skip Schumaker as a senior advisor may mean that the Texas Rangers have their future manager under contract.

But if current manager Bruce Bochy, who is likely to be inducted into the Hall of Fame once his career is over, wants to continue beyond 2025, the Rangers will enthusiastically welcome that.

According to one source, Bochy will have the latitude to continue if that’s what he wants.

“If [Bochy] wants to manage beyond 2025, [the Rangers] are good with that,” a highly ranked source told ESPN.

Bochy, who turns 70 in April, just completed his 27th season managing in the big leagues — for the San Diego Padres and San Francisco Giants before he became the Rangers’ skipper in 2023 — and ranks eighth all time in managerial wins with 2,171, the most for any current manager.

Next season, he will likely pass Dusty Baker and Sparky Anderson on the list. Bochy’s teams have won four championships — the Giants in 2010, 2012 and 2014, and the Rangers in 2023.

Schumaker, 44, is viewed as a rising star in the managerial ranks after his first two seasons, with the Miami Marlins.

Miami made the playoffs in 2023 and Schumaker was named National League Manager of the Year. But when the Marlins’ ownership effectively pushed out Kim Ng, the GM who hired Schumaker, he asked the team to void a 2025 option year on his contract, and he left the Marlins after the 2024 season.

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Shildt gets extension after Padres’ playoff return

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Shildt gets extension after Padres' playoff return

One year into his tenure with the Padres, Mike Shildt has been rewarded with a two-year contract extension that ties the manager to San Diego through 2027.

The Padres announced the agreement Wednesday with the 56-year-old manager after they went 93-69, finishing five games behind the eventual World Series champion Los Angeles Dodgers in the National League West and claiming the top NL wild card.

“I am honored to continue leading this team toward Peter Seidler’s vision of bringing a World Series championship to San Diego,” Shildt said in a statement. “In collaboration with our players and coaching staff, we are committed to building on our success, serving our community and the City of San Diego, and delivering a winning team to our incredible and deserving fan base.”

San Diego swept a two-game wild-card series against the Atlanta Braves then took a 2-1 lead on the Dodgers in the best-of-five NL Division Series. Los Angeles bounced back to win the final two games 8-0 and 2-0.

The Padres tied for first in the majors with a .263 batting average and ranked sixth with a .745 OPS. Their 3.86 team ERA rated 12th, and their pitching staff’s 1,453 strikeouts came in sixth.

Shildt previously managed the Cardinals from 2018 to 2021, logging a 252-199 regular-season record and guiding St. Louis into the postseason in three of his four seasons. He was voted the NL Manager of the Year in 2019.

“As Mike demonstrated this year, he has an unwavering commitment to winning and a unique set of skills that got our group to perform at a high level,” Padres president of baseball operations and general manager A.J. Preller said in a statement. “He possesses a true love for this team and the game of baseball, and I am thrilled to continue to work together with Mike to bring a championship to the City of San Diego.”

Field Level Media contributed to this report.

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Bottom 10: Clemson and its fans thrown for a loss

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Bottom 10: Clemson and its fans thrown for a loss

Inspirational thought of the week:

Do you love me?
Do you wanna be my friend?
And if you do
Well then don’t be afraid to take me by the hand
If you want to
I think this is how love goes
Check yes or no
— “Check Yes or No,” George Strait

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located among the giant concrete reinforcement pillars installed under the Indiana football offices to support Curt Cignetti’s self-confidence, we are still trying to process the ceaseless series of sea change/Earth change/mindset change/sleep-cycle change events that were thrust upon us over the course of only a few days’ time.

We had Halloween, turning the clocks back an hour, the release of a new Liam Neeson/Ron Perlman mob movie and a Week 10 slate that saw a gaggle of ranked teams pushed and/or upset by unranked teams, not to mention Pur-don’t and Northworstern going into OT.

And oh yeah, dummy me. I forgot the biggest event of them all. The one that was unfurling just as we were compiling these rankings Tuesday evening, Nov. 5, 2024. I am, of course, speaking of the #MACtion doubleheader of Boiling Green at Centralized Michigan and My Hammy of Ohio at Baller State. Oh, and the eve of “The Golden Bachelorette: The Men Tell All.”

With apologies to Joan Vassos, Jesse Palmer, Matt James, Tyler Cameron, Cleisthenes and Steve Harvey, here’s the post-Week 10 Bottom 10 rankings.


The good news is that the Golden (plated) Flashes, aka America’s last winless FBS team, did not lose their 18th straight game. The bad news is that it’s only because they didn’t play. Now they kick off Week 11 early with the first of four straight midweek games to end the season. It starts with a visit from fellow Ohioans Ohio, followed by a trip to fellow Ohioans My Hammy of Ohio, a visit from fellow Ohioans Akronmonious and then a trip to Buffalo, which isn’t in Ohio, but I’m pretty sure Ohio eats more Buffalo wings than any other state, so it feels like it is.


Brett Favre Funding U also managed to escape its open date without a loss ahead of hosting Marshall this weekend. The Olden Eagles are already eyeing their potential Pillow Fight of the Year of the Century in their season finale to Bottom 10 Waiting Lister Troy Bolton State. Actually, they’re already eyeing the weekend after that, when the season is finally over.


Speaking of the Waiting List, that’s where the Minors were just two weeks ago, but after back-to-back Pillow Fight losses to Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-Tech and Meh-dle Tennessee, they have jumped up off the bench outside and burst into the front door like me when the buffet hostess finally says, “McGee, party of one!” Now they will play in unprecedented Pillow Fight Three-peat against … yeah, like that hostess, we’re going to make you wait a minute.


Our old friends the Minuetmen also spent part of this fall on the Waiting List, but they answered the call of duty by following up their non-FBS win over Jack Wagner by getting housed by another Waiting List member, a fellow 2-7 squad out of the S-E-C, Miss Sus Hippie State. Now the Mess plays last week’s Coveted Fifth Spot winner Liberty. It’s always a weird headspace for a group of Revolutionary War soldiers to try to defeat Liberty.


The Tigers tumble down The Hill from the fancy-schmancy Coaches Poll top 10 into the Coveted Fifth Spot after losing to #goacc mid-packer Louisville. We were on the fence about whether to put Death Valley or Happy Valley into this slot, but our minds were made up after downing a bottle of refreshing water that had been winged at our heads from the Clemson student section.


I can hear the lobby conversation now. “Hey, Clemson, did y’all really just lose to Louisville and land in the Coveted Fifth Spot?” “Hey, FSU, did y’all really just lose by 24 points to North Carolina and is the only team you’ve beaten really Cal?” Then they both grab up their briefcases and head into the courtroom to explain why they are too good for the ACC.


The Buttermakers lost the B1G Bottom 10 Bowl presented by Rust-eze, falling to Northworstern in overtime. Now they finish the year with three of four games against top 10 teams in Ohio State, Penn State and Indiana. In related news, sources tell Bottom 10 JortsCenter that Purdue’s legendary engineering department is trying to invent one of those Tony Stark time machine thingies so they can fast forward to winter.


The New Owls have flown back into these standings after following up their first-ever win as an FBS program with their seventh-ever loss as an FBS program. Now they hit the road for their first-ever Pillow Fight of the Week, a matchup with border rival UTEPid. Told you we’d get to it.


If the Bottom 10 were a series “Game of Thrones” memes, this is where we’d see a photo of Boromir talking and giant white letters that read “ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY GET SMOKED 59-21 BY ONE-WIN UAB AND NOT END UP IN THE BOTTOM 10.” OK, sure, let’s go on and do it …


My OG Bottom 10 champs are back! The Panthers keep racking up moral victories. Their only actual victories came back-to-back in September over Chattanooga and Vanderbilt. So, if you’re scoring at home, and we are, Georgia State beat Vandy, who beat Bama, who has been ranked No. 1 and who beat Georgia, who has been ranked No. 1 and who beat Texas, who has been ranked No. 1. I almost printed this paragraph out on Georgia State stationery and nailed it to the door of the College Football Playoff selection committee meeting room at the Gaylord Texan, like Martin Luther at the Castle Church.

Waiting List: FA (not I) U, Akronmonious, Meh-dle Tennessee, WhyOMGing?, You A Bee?, Whew Mexico State, Temple of Doom, Utaw State, Charlotte 3-and-6ers, assistant coaches impersonating volcanos.

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