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Inspirational thought of the week:

So put me in the ground

Put me six foot down

And let the stone say

“Here lies the girl whose only crutch, Was loving one man just a little too much”

If you go before I do, I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two

Dig two

— “Better Dig Two,” The Band Perry

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the medical tent where the neck braces are stored to help Joey Galloway heal from whiplash after entire Saturdays of rapidly turning his head to go “WTH?” after every point made by Dan Mullen, we know that the college football seasons make the clubhouse turn into the back nine, the room where we live can become a rapidly emptying place.

At the start of each autumn, coaches love to remind us that every team in the land is beginning the season with a zero in the loss column. But never do they dare go through the Bottom 10 looking glass and allow themselves to be reminded that every team in the land also kicks off with a zero on the other side of that hyphen, or dash, or whatever it is, in the win column.

So, while those who claim to love the game continue to count and recount the dwindling number of FBS programs that remain undefeated, we here, who truly adore this sport on a deeper level, like to remind everyone of the other countdown of records. Those teams that are still seeking their first victory of the fall.

The room of undefeateds is still in double digits, a whopping 10. So what’s the point in applauding that? Here in the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe, we are down to only two winless squads. The unbeaten room is so crowded we are going to call the fire marshal. Our room, the beaten room, college football’s most exclusive club, only needs a fire extinguisher.

With apologies to Deuce McAllister, David “The Deuce” Palmer, Duce Staley, Rob Base and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 8 Bottom 10 rankings:

The Golden(plated) Flashes lost their 16th straight game, to four-loss Boiling Green after losing a Pillow Fight of the Week to four-loss Baller State, and now they face three-loss Western Not Eastern Or Central Michigan, who sit atop the #MACtion standings. This is awesome if you’ve ever dreamed of seeing someone fall up a flight of stairs.


The New Owls on the Block (NO²TB) came off their bye week and resumed their chase of Kent as the nation’s only remaining oh-fer teams. Now Kennesaw Mountain will spend Wednesday night traveling to Liberty Mountain, where the undefeated Flames open every game with a prayer before leaving opponents without one.


The Eagles make a big jump/fall in these rankings, thanks in part to being one of the first FBS programs to fire its head coach (heeeey, East Carolina …) and also because they found a potential Fun Belt dancing partner for a potential season finale Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of Century, or PFOWYOC, pronounced “puh-fow-yok,” which is also what Will Hall angrily called everyone in the front office as he was escorted out. And who is that PFOWYOC against?


The East Coast Trojans, who have charged into the top bottom four after three straight Fun Belt losses and now face the Fightin’ Butches of Arkansaw State, the same team that just ended Will Hall’s tenure in Hattiesburg.


A yellow flag was thrown on the field. Then Horns fans threw a bunch of stuff on the field. Then the flag was picked up off the field. Then the trash was picked up off the field. But … there was never another flag thrown because of the stuff thrown on the field?


The good news for the Blazers is that even though they keep losing, no one can see it because the entire state of Alabama is shrouded in thick white smoke from the dumpster fire on the Plains and the panic attacks in Tuscaloosa.


The Other Other Aggies continue their 2026 Pac-12 Admittance party by playing like a 2022 Pac-12 team, falling to 1-6 after losing to New Mexico’s non-Aggies. Now, while we are obsessing over current #MACtion PFOWYs and future Fun Belt PFOWYOCs, Utah State is hitting the road for a showdown that has snuck up on us, against …


The Chowboys knew the way to San Jose, but unfortunately, Spartans wideout Nick Nash knew the way to the end zone for the seventh straight game. If Wyoming is going to fulfill its dream of three-peating as Arizona Bowl champions, it can’t lose again this season.


New Duke head coach Manny Diaz has now successfully beaten the coach who embarrassed him at Texas, UNC’s Mack Brown, his alma mater FSU, and in two weeks has a chance to ruin the year for the school that fired him three years ago, Miami. The last time someone went through ACC country like this, they were carrying orders from Sherman.


The Buttermakers are 1-6 and 0-4 in conference play. After an open date, they host Northworstern, which is 3-4 and 1-3 in the conference. With all the changes in college football, especially in the Big Ten, this game is like being wrapped up in an old blanket from your grandma’s house. Sure, it needs to be washed and it smells like a gym sock dipped in kitty litter and VapoRub, but at least it’s familiar.

Waiting list: UMess, FI(notA)U, UTEPid (aka the team that just beat FIU), Temple of Doom, Living on Tulsa Time (aka the team that just lost to Temple of Doom), Whew Mexico State, Me-dle Tennessee, Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-Tech, Baller State, Miss Sus Hippie State, Snore Eagle, Akronmonious, flopping.

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Devils’ Nemec, scratched in G1, plays 2OT hero

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Devils' Nemec, scratched in G1, plays 2OT hero

NEWARK, N.J. — Simon Nemec hasn’t had an ideal start to his NHL career. But in Game 3 of the New Jersey Devils‘ Stanley Cup playoff series against the Carolina Hurricanes, he finally had his career highlight.

The 21-year-old defenseman scored an unassisted goal at 2:36 of double overtime on Friday night to give the Devils a 3-2 win and new life, cutting the Hurricanes’ series lead to 2-1.

In the process, Nemec, the No. 2 pick in the 2022 NHL draft, had the most impactful moment of his pro career with his first playoff goal.

“I was so happy,” he said. “Amazing feeling. It’s been a tough season for me, and that’s a really big win for us.”

A native of Slovakia, Nemec spent his first season after the draft in the American Hockey League. He split time between the AHL and the Devils in Year 2, thrust into action because of injuries to the New Jersey defense. He split time between the NHL and the minors again this season. Nemec has played 87 games in the NHL, with five goals and 18 assists while skating to a minus-17.

He was a frequent healthy scratch in New Jersey, including Game 1 on Sunday, and his lackluster play caused many to wonder if Nemec would live up to his lofty draft position. Nemec was last on the Devils in goals above replacement at minus-8.7, according to Evolving Hockey.

Thanks to injuries to defensemen Luke Hughes and Brenden Dillon, Nemec was called upon in Game 2 against Carolina and was back in the lineup for Game 3, in which the Devils lost defenseman Johnathan Kovacevic to injury after just 10 shifts. That injury, plus the multiple overtimes, meant massive increases in ice time for veterans such as Brian Dumoulin (36:29) and Brett Pesce (32:25), as well as more responsibility for Nemec.

“You just need guys to step up at the right times,” Dumoulin said. “He knew he was going to be going out there, we’re going to be relying on him, and we needed him. You could see that he took that moment. He wasn’t scared of it, and he took the reins of it.”

Nemec said the overtime goal, which beat Carolina goalie Frederik Andersen (34 saves), was the kind of boost he needs in his career.

“Yeah, it helps me a lot,” he said. “I feel like my confidence is back the last couple games. I’m just trying to play my game and do this stuff. I have to play offense a little bit, too, so my confidence is higher, and I just feel good about myself.”

Devils coach Sheldon Keefe admitted that he dreamed about defenseman Jonas Siegenthaler, who returned to the lineup for the first time since Feb. 4 and played 27:09, being the Game 3 hero.

“But if I was really thinking, I would have said, ‘Wouldn’t this be something if the young guy who just stepped up so big for us here, if he ended the game?'” Keefe said.

The message the coach gave his team in the overtime intermissions was one of aggressiveness. That apparently wasn’t lost on Nemec.

“We’ve got to go win this hockey game. We don’t want to sit back, we don’t want this game to go on forever,” Keefe said. “Credit Nemo with doing that. To have the mindset to do it, not just sitting back and conserving energy. He was on the front foot. You love to see it and love to see him get rewarded.”

Game 4 of the series will be Sunday afternoon in New Jersey.

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Follow live: Kings look to take 3-0 series lead vs. Oilers

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Hagel suspended for Game 3 due to hit on Barkov

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Hagel suspended for Game 3 due to hit on Barkov

Tampa Bay Lightning winger Brandon Hagel was suspended one game by the NHL Department of Player Safety on Friday night for what it labeled “an extremely forceful body check to an unsuspecting opponent” that injured Florida Panthers captain Aleksander Barkov.

Hagel will miss Saturday’s Game 3 in Sunrise, Florida. The Panthers lead the series 2-0.

Around midway through the third period of Thursday’s Game 2, Tampa Bay was on the power play while trailing 1-0. Barkov pressured defenseman Ryan McDonagh deep in the Lightning zone. With the puck clearly past Barkov, Hagel lined him up for a huge hit that sent the Panthers captain to the ice and thumping off the end boards.

A penalty was whistled, and the officials conferred before calling a “five-minute penalty.” After review, Hagel was given a 5-minute major for interference. Barkov left the game with 10:09 remaining in regulation and did not return to the Panthers’ 2-0 win.

Lightning coach Jon Cooper said after the game that he didn’t expect Hagel to receive a major penalty for the hit.

“Refs make the call. I was a little surprised it was a five, but it was,” he said.

The NHL ruled that Hagel’s hit made “some head contact” on Barkov.

“It’s important to note that Barkov is never in possession of the puck on this play and is therefore not eligible to be checked in any manner,” the league said.

In the Friday hearing, held remotely, Hagel argued that he approached the play anticipating that Barkov would play the puck. But the Department of Player Safety said the onus was on Hagel to ensure that Barkov was eligible to be checked. It also determined that the hit had “sufficient force” for supplemental discipline.

It’s Hagel’s first suspension in 375 regular-season and 36 playoff games. He was fined for boarding Florida’s Eetu Luostarinen in May 2022.

The Panthers held an optional skate Friday. Coach Paul Maurice said Barkov “hasn’t been ruled out yet” but “hasn’t been cleared” for Game 3.

“He’s an irreplicable player,” Panthers defenseman Seth Jones said of Barkov. “One of the best centermen in the league. He’s super important to our team.”

The Lightning lose Hagel while they struggle to score in the series; they scored two goals in Game 1 and were shut out in Game 2. Tampa Bay was the highest-scoring team in the regular season (3.56), with Hagel contributing 35 goals and 55 assists in 82 games.

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