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Are you in the mood for some eau de filthy clogged toilette.

For those who want to smell like last call on the Lower East Side, Miller High Life has released a new cologne that’s meant to smell like a dive bar for $60 a bottle, just in time for the holidays.

The scent of the so-called Dive Bar-Fume blends cedarwood and patchouli to recreate the smell of a bar counter, tobacco and leather to evoke “those worn-in leather barstools,” sea salt for the “basket of fries and popcorn” and Champak blossom to replicate the smell of Miller High Life.

It’s unclear if the cologne, which is currently sold out, will also smell like stale cigarette smoke, flooded bathrooms and a fight that breaks out for no reason.

“High Life is bringing that dive bar scent you know and love to your home with High Life Dive Bar-Fume, just in time for the holidays. Happy High Life!” the fragrance’s listing says.

The Champagne of Beers has other beer-themed holiday offerings in its shop, including Miller High Life stockings and Christmas tree ornaments.

Instagram users had a field day in the comments of the post announcing the cologne with one commenter saying “this was my scent for 7 years.”

“Does it smell like shattered dreams?” posted another.

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US sanctions crypto addresses linked to Nemesis darknet marketplace

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US sanctions crypto addresses linked to Nemesis darknet marketplace

The US Office of Foreign Assets Control says the marketplace created by Iran-based Behrouz Parsarad facilitated the sale of drugs, fake IDs and hacking resources.

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Harper ‘open’ to OF return if Phillies seek star 1B

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Harper 'open' to OF return if Phillies seek star 1B

Two-time National League MVP Bryce Harper is “more than open” to returning to the outfield — where he played his first nine MLB seasons — if the Philadelphia Phillies can significantly upgrade at first base.

“I talked to them this offseason about that,” Harper told The Athletic in an interview published Wednesday. “Just in case a guy was available [at first] that we needed to have, needed to get. I’d be more than open to it, if we had a guy like that who was going to change our lineup or change the demeanor of our team. They like me at first base. But I’d go out there to have a guy who was going to play first base and hit 35 or 40 homers.

“When [Pete Alonso] was on the block still, I kind of sat there and was like, ‘Hey, why not?’ When we talked about it, I kind of just reiterated to [the Phillies] and Scott [Boras] that I’m willing to move out there if it’s going to help us. I love playing first base. It’s been great. But if it’s going to help us win, I’d go back out there.”

Alonso re-signed with the New York Mets, but he could again be available after this season if he opts out of his two-year deal. Slugging first baseman Vladimir Guerrero Jr. also is scheduled to become a free agent after failing to reach an extension with the Toronto Blue Jays this offseason.

Harper, who played catcher and first base prior to entering the majors, moved to the outfield — mostly playing right field — after he was selected by the Washington Nationals with the first pick in the 2010 draft. He hasn’t played the outfield since undergoing Tommy John surgery after the 2022 season — his fourth with the Phillies.

He told The Athletic that he doesn’t have a preference what position he plays, but it “would be awesome … unbelievable” if he won his first-ever Gold Glove at first base.

The 32-year-old Harper, who is entering his 14th major league season, has 336 career home runs and is aware that 500 is within reach.

“You’ve got to stay healthy. You’ve got to stay strong. You’ve got to be on winning teams, too, I feel like,” Harper told The Athletic. “Obviously, you can do it without that. But I feel like it just pushes you that much more to be great, being in an organization with a fan base that pushes you every day.

“Individual stats are great, but that one thing, man … that World Series. That’s what you want to do. All those things will take care of themselves if you’re winning and if you’re staying healthy. I’m not really too worried about it.”

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HOF vet committee tweak limits future appearances

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HOF vet committee tweak limits future appearances

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. — The Hall of Fame made some small adjustments to its veterans committee system to limit people with relatively little support from repeatedly remaining on future ballots, a decision that could make it harder to gain entry to Cooperstown for steroids-tainted stars such as Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens.

Any candidate on the eight-person ballot who receives fewer than five votes from the 16-member panel will not be eligible for that committee’s ballot during the next three-year cycle, the hall said Wednesday. A candidate who is dropped, later reappears on a ballot and again receives fewer than five votes would be barred from future ballot appearances.

Bonds, Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro and Albert Belle each received fewer than four votes in December 2022, when Fred McGriff was a unanimous pick. Bonds and Clemens were on a hall ballot for the first time since their 10th and final appearances on the Baseball Writers’ Association of America ballot. The rules change could limit reappraisals of their candidacies.

In addition, the historical overview committee appointed by the BBWAA that selects the ballot candidates must also be approved by the hall’s board of directors. The hall said the decisions were made by its board during a Feb. 26 meeting in Orlando, Florida.

In 2022, the hall restructured its veterans committees for the third time in 12 years, setting up panels to consider the contemporary era from 1980 on, as well as the classic era. The contemporary baseball era holds separate ballots for players and another for managers, executives and umpires.

Each committee meets every three years: contemporary players from 1980 on will be considered this December; managers, executives and umpires from 1980 on in December 2026; and pre-1980 candidates in December 2027.

Dave Parker and Dick Allen were elected last December and manager Jim Leyland in December 2023.

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