‘Don’t man up, talk it through’ – men urged to confront mental health problems

Published

6 months ago

January 3, 2025

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It’s a rare thing, a group of men in a room, talking about their mental health. They have all led difficult lives, and they don’t usually talk about it.

They throw a ball around the room to indicate whose turn it is to speak. “When a man talks about his emotions he is often told, ‘don’t be a girl… man up’,” offers one participant, Harry Lambert.

He has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and describes not airing problems as like “allowing a poison to build up inside”.

This mentoring weekend, offered by the charity Oak London, is an opportunity for these men to release some of that poison.

Charities warn this time of year can be extra difficult for those struggling with their mental health.

Men are more likely to go missing, sleep rough, and become dependent on drugs and alcohol – all contributing to a higher suicide rate compared to women. It is the most common cause of death for men under 50.

In the room with sofas around the edge, the men – mostly in their 20s – have come from various unstable settings.

Some are referred from probation services, others have been homeless and responded to flyers put out in London hostels offering a retreat to Bristol and a weekend to “escape your everyday surroundings” and “develop your relationship with yourself and others”.

The first section of the session is about recognising the stereotypes of manhood. Participants offer up words for the whiteboard – including dominant, macho, stoic.

Physically, all of them size up more than most to these expectations, but as their tattooed hands write down shortcomings on pieces of paper, the insecurities come to light.

“You make people scared,” one writes.

‘A lot of people don’t show emotion’

This prompts a discussion about how they should respond when someone is visibly scared of them as they walk down the street.

“I feel like if I’ve scared you, I feel like the one thing I don’t want to then do, is approach you and say, like, ‘sorry’.”

The other men agree this wouldn’t work, but all recognise the sense of isolation their physical appearance can create. At the same time, they accept, they often want to look tough.

“A lot of people I know, they don’t show any sort of emotion,” says Shareef Venson, an ex-participant and now helper.

“But you can see that they’re struggling with certain issues. It’s just that they feel like they can’t physically show it.”

Several factors that affect men’s mental health

Benjamin Kuti, a soft-spoken young man, had a difficult childhood, often without his mother present. He has dyspraxia but says many factors can play on his mental health.

“Being unemployed, for example, or even just being isolated. That can just impact your psychological state. It’s a very small, blurred line. I really struggle to create meaningful relationships with people where it’s like, this person actually sees me, or this person actually likes me – for me.”

Wealth, and failing to accumulate it, is another recurring theme.

The handwritten sticky notes are attached to bricks and Shareef stands in the middle while the men pile them into his arms saying the words on the paper: “You scare people”, “you failed in your job”, “you have a low self-esteem”. One of the last ones reads, “you should jump”.

Loaded up with all the notes a mentor asks Shareef: “How would it feel going for a job carrying all those bricks?”

“I wouldn’t apply for anything,” he says.

And so, the lesson is to try to remove them, reject them, pass them back, put them on the floor, share them out, so you carry fewer.

Rare opportunity to talk about struggles

Mental health among men often goes undiagnosed. Only about half of those suffering from a mental health problem seek help. That means they often carry the burden alone.

Jos Lucas, founder of Oak London, says: “Because we’re outside of London, outside of distractions, outside of people having to look over their shoulder every minute… I think it naturally happens, in group discussions, that people do feel that they can trust each other, they can talk about things that they might not otherwise have the opportunity to talk about.”

Harry, who has self-harmed and struggled with depression and anxiety since the age of 13 says he didn’t get a diagnosis for his personality disorder until he was 19.

He describes his symptoms as “heightened anxiety, heightened depression, major mood swings, manic episodes and extremely depressive episodes, along with things like suicidal thoughts and tendency to things like addiction”.

He is still on the waiting list for therapy. The conversations he has had with other men at the Oak London project have been some of the most open and honest he’s ever had.

‘I can talk openly without being judged’

He said: “A lot of times you talk to your friends and especially with men, you talk to them and say, how are you doing People say ‘Yeah, I’m good,’ and they won’t be good because they think you either don’t care or they think you don’t hear it, or they’re worried that you’re going to judge them.”

“Whereas here in Oak London, this is the only place I’ve ever been to where I felt I can go and I can talk openly without being judged, while trying to help other people and help myself.

“It’s okay to be vulnerable. And I think that’s the message that urgently needs to be out there, because there’s so much stigma around how a man needs to be dominant, masculine and stoic, but if you’re an emotional man, a sensitive man, embrace that, that’s okay. And if you feel like you want to talk, talk to someone.”

Back in London, life’s troubles await these young men but addressing them by saying them out loud, and hearing of them in others, may just help.

UK

From Brazil to Westminster: How health pilot is proving a force for good for patients and the NHS

Published

4 mins ago

June 30, 2025

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From Brazil to Westminster: How health pilot is proving a force for good for patients and the NHS

Jessica Ellis is a Chewie. She’s not from a galaxy far, far away but here, right now, working in one of our most deprived communities. To the people she helps, she is a force for good.

We are standing in front of a large block of council flats in Westminster, central London. The entrycom buzzes.

“Hi Mrs Dikir, how are you?” Jessica asks. And then “thank you” as we’re let in and make our way up five flights of stairs.

Inside the flat, in the living room, Mr Jaber Dikir sits on a soft, plush armchair. It has to be comfortable because Mr Dikir spends most of his days sitting here.

“I have a heart problem, I have open heart surgery and now I have heart failure,” Mr Dikir explains. “I have water in my chest and that gives me big trouble to sleep, to breathe,” he adds as he begins to wheeze.

I ask Mr Jaber how Jessica has been able to help him.

“She hears you, she listens to you,” he replies. “She understands everything. She even called the doctor and he gave me permission to stay at home (for my blood tests). That’s really appreciated. I couldn’t walk properly, I couldn’t go to the clinic.”

Jessica is a community health and wellbeing worker (CHWWs). That’s where the nickname comes from.

CHWWs work in small teams, going door to door in some of the most deprived areas of the country.

It’s part of an NHS pilot inspired by a successful programme in Brazil.

A simple but effective intervention

Jessica says her role is “to make life easier”. Mr Dakir, she tells me, is struggling with his mobility. So is organising a designated disabled bay.

“Mr Dakir is struggling to get out to his appointments, and the GP needs a blood test from him. So I was able to speak to the GP and he’s been labelled as temporarily housebound so the district nursing team can come in now and take the bloods for him at home.”

A simple but effective intervention that has a huge impact on Mr Dakir and the NHS.

The project is currently being used in 15 neighbourhoods around the country. In Westminster, there has been a 7% drop in A&E admissions and an 11% reduction in hospital admissions year on year.

There has also been a 47% increase in the likelihood of households having vaccinations, an 82% increase in cancer screenings and a 7.3% drop in unscheduled GP consultations.

Taking community care right to the patient’s door

Dr Melinda Creme is a local GP. Jessica acts as a conduit between Dr Creme and her patients.

“We need to look at the costs of what might happen downstream if disease is not picked up earlier, if health inequalities are not addressed sooner, and so there should be potential huge savings down the line.

“It might take five years, 10 years to make a difference and that’s the issue, because obviously governments change within that time.

“But if there’s a long-term lens on this, then we stand a chance of being able to afford a health service free at the point of delivery.”

This is exactly what the government wants, what the NHS wants, to bring care into the community. With this project, they are taking community care right to the patient’s door.

Dr Creme says the days when people would go to their GP and expect their family doctor to look after anybody and everybody about everything are gone.

“We can’t possibly do that. We’re not equipped to do that because the population is expanding and we cannot address all needs.”

Labour’s 10-year health plan set for launch

The government is expected to focus on personalised and community care in its 10-year health plan when it is published on Thursday.

It will look to ease pressure on buckling emergency departments and models like this have shown early signs of good results, but they require time and investment.

Projects like this can help ease the strain on services facing record pressures and tight budgets. They could be a significant part of a wider NHS plan.

UK

Starmer condemns ‘appalling hate speech’ at Glastonbury – as organiser says anti-IDF chants ‘crossed a line’

Published

6 hours ago

June 29, 2025

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Starmer condemns 'appalling hate speech' at Glastonbury - as organiser says anti-IDF chants 'crossed a line'

The prime minister has criticised chants of “death to the IDF” during a Glastonbury performance on Saturday, while festival organiser Emily Eavis said they had “very much crossed a line”.

Responding on Sunday to rap duo Bob Vylan’s set the day before, Sir Keir Starmer said: “There is no excuse for this kind of appalling hate speech.”

In the same statement, the prime minister repeated his previous argument that the Belfast rap group Kneecap should have been removed from the line-up after one member was charged with a terrorism offence.

“I said that Kneecap should not be given a platform and that goes for any other performers making threats or inciting violence.

“The BBC needs to explain how these scenes came to be broadcast.”

On Sunday, Ms Eavis, whose father Michael co-founded the festival, posted her response to Bob Vylan’s performance.

“Their chants very much crossed a line and we are urgently reminding everyone involved in the production of the Festival that there is no place at Glastonbury for antisemitism, hate speech or incitement to violence,” she wrote.

She said that while “as a festival, we stand against all forms of war and terrorism – we will always believe in – and actively campaign for – hope, unity, peace and love”, adding a performer’s comments “should never be seen as a tacit endorsement of their opinions and beliefs”.

Eavis added: “With almost 4,000 performances at Glastonbury 2025, there will inevitably be artists and speakers appearing on our stages whose views we do not share.”

The rappers’ set was streamed live on the BBC on Saturday, showing one of them shouting the slogan into the mic, with some of the crowd joining in.

They also performed in front of a screen that claimed Israel’s actions in Gaza amount to “genocide”.

Posting on Instagram on Sunday, drummer Bobby Vylan doubled down by repeating elements of the chant alongside a picture of himself.

The Israeli embassy posted on X in the hours after the set saying it was “deeply disturbed by the inflammatory and hateful rhetoric”.

It said the slogan used “advocates for the dismantling of the State of Israel”.

The post on X added: “When such messages are delivered before tens of thousands of festivalgoers and met with applause, it raises serious concerns about the normalisation of extremist language and the glorification of violence.”

In a separate post on X on Sunday, Israel’s foreign ministry published graphic footage following the attack by Hamas on the Nova festival in Israel on 7 October 2023. The message directly appealed to those at Glastonbury who joined in the chants.

“On October 7th, Hamas terrorists murdered hundreds of innocent partygoers at the Nova festival. For those at the Glastonbury festival who need a reality check, let this footage serve as a reminder to what you are supporting.”

Meanwhile the Campaign Against Antisemitism (CAA) said it will be formally complaining to the BBC over its “outrageous decision” to broadcast the performance.

Avon and Somerset Police said they are looking at whether a criminal offence was committed.

“Video evidence will be assessed by officers to determine whether any offences may have been committed that would require a criminal investigation,” the force said in a post on social media.

Bob Vylan’s set may have pushed things too far

Gemma Peplow

Culture and entertainment reporter

@gemmapeplow

Bob Vylan, a punk-rap duo known for their politically charged lyrics taking on racism, fascism, police brutality, toxic masculinity, inequality and more, performed on the festival’s third biggest stage, West Holts, with a capacity of about 30,000.

They played to their own fans but no doubt thousands who had turned out to secure their place for the controversial Irish-language rappers Kneecap who followed.

After the Bob Vylan performance was aired live, clips quickly flooded social media – shared by those supporting the band and condemning them.

“The BBC didn’t cover Kneecap’s set at Glastonbury Festival over Free Palestine chants, so Bob Vylan, who BBC covered, stepped in,” posted the Celebrities4Palestine account alongside a clip on Instagram, also shared by Bob Vylan.

The IDF comments on stage may well have been made regardless. Or did Kneecap’s “cancelling” by the BBC, as some people saw it, encourage other acts to speak out even more?

Police are investigating both performances. Kneecap’s Naoise O Caireallain, who performs under the name Moglai Bap, at one point mentioned “a riot outside the courts” over his bandmate Liam Og O hAnnaidh’s (Mo Chara) upcoming second appearance on a terror charge, before clarifying: “No riots, just love and support, and support for Palestine.”

With its history of activism, Glastonbury has always championed free speech. But it seems Bob Vylan’s set may have pushed things too far.

It’s fair to say that here at Glastonbury, for most of the 200,000 people on site this weekend, it is still all about the music. The majority did not see these sets and many are not even aware of the criticism outside Worthy Farm.

Today is the final day of artist performances, with acts including Olivia Rodrigo, Rod Stewart and the Prodigy on the bill. But instead of the magic of the most famous festival in the world, both organisers and the broadcaster are now facing more questions about Bob Vylan and, to a lesser extent, Kneecap, as criticism mounts.

Bob Vylan went on stage just ahead of a performance by Kneecap, the Irish rap band that the prime minister and others called to be removed from the Glastonbury and other festival line-ups over alleged on-stage endorsements of terrorist groups Hamas and Hezbollah.

Ultimately, the BBC decided not to broadcast Kneecap’s set live, but have since made it available to watch on catch-up on iPlayer.

One of its members, Liam Og O hAnnaidh, was charged with a terror offence in May after being accused of displaying a flag in support of Hezbollah at a gig.

His bandmate Naoise O Caireallain told Glastonbury crowds on Saturday they should “start a riot outside the courts”, before clarifying: “No riots just love and support, and support for Palestine.”

O hAnnaidh – also known as Mo Chara – wore a Palestinian keffiyeh scarf for their set and told fans he was a “free man”.

Questions over why BBC broadcast chants

The government’s culture Secretary Lisa Nandy has spoken to BBC boss Tim Davie for an “urgent explanation” about what steps were taken around the Bob Vylan set.

Speaking to Sunday Morning With Trevor Phillips on behalf of the government, Health Secretary Wes Streeting described the chant as “appalling” and a “shameless publicity stunt”.

“The fact that we saw that chant at a music festival – when there were Israelis at a similar music festival who were kidnapped, murdered, raped, and in some cases still held captive,” he said in reference to the 7 October 2023 Hamas attack at the Nova music festival.

He added that while “there’s no justification for inciting violence against Israelis… the way in which Israel’s conducting this war has made it extremely difficult for Israel’s allies around the world to stand by and justify”.

“I’d also say to the Israeli embassy, get your own house in order, in terms of the conduct of your own citizens and the settlers in the West Bank,” he told Phillips.

Meanwhile, Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch reposted a clip of the Bob Vylan set describing it as “grotesque”.

“Violence against Jews isn’t edgy. The West is playing with fire if we allow this sort of behaviour to go unchecked,” she said on X.

Lucy McMullin, who was in the crowd for Bob Vylan, told Sky News: “When there’s children and civilians being murdered and starved, then I think it’s important that people are speaking out on these issues.

“However, inciting more death and violence is not the way to do it.”

A BBC spokesperson confirmed the Bob Vylan stream will not be made available to watch on its iPlayer.

“Some of the comments made during Bob Vylan’s set were deeply offensive,” their statement said.

“During this live stream on iPlayer, which reflected what was happening on stage, a warning was issued on screen about the very strong and discriminatory language. We have no plans to make the performance available on demand.”

UK

Who are Bob Vylan – the duo who ‘very much crossed the line’ at Glastonbury with anti-IDF chant?

Published

14 hours ago

June 29, 2025

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Who are Bob Vylan - the duo who 'very much crossed the line' at Glastonbury with anti-IDF chant?

Musicians, especially punk acts, making headlines for their politics is nothing new.

The Sex Pistols, The Clash, Rage Against The Machine – in 2025, it’s Kneecap and now Bob Vylan riling politicians.

But in the case of chants made by Bob Vylan on stage at Glastonbury, it is not just MPs. Festival organiser Emily Eavis has also condemned the comments despite the festival’s advocacy for free speech, saying they “very much crossed a line”.

Police are investigating footage of the performance, which has since been removed by the BBC, to see if any offences were committed.

So who are Bob Vylan?

The duo are Bobby Vylan, the frontman, and drummer Bobbie Vylan. They have not revealed their real names to protect their privacy.

They formed in Ipswich in 2017 and their musical style is a mix of punk, rap, and hard rock.

They have released three albums – We Live Here (2020), Bob Vylan Presents The Price Of Life (2022), and last year’s Humble As The Sun – and their music has won them awards including best alternative act at the MOBOs in 2022, and best album at the Kerrang Awards in the same year.

Their songs confront issues including racism, homophobia, toxic masculinity, and far-right politics, and the track Pretty Songs is often introduced by Bobby saying that “violence is the only language that some people understand”.

Gigs often include some crowd-surfing from the frontman, and they have collaborated with artists including Amyl And The Sniffers singer Amy Taylor, Soft Play guitarist Laurie Vincent, and rock band Kid Kapichi.

In an interview with The Guardian last year, Bobby Vylan told how he attended his first pro-Palestine protest at the age of 15, escorted by a friend’s mother.

The duo have been outspoken on the war in Gaza and called out other acts seen as left-wing who haven’t been showing the same amount of public solidarity.

The Glastonbury set

Before their appearance at the festival, the duo highlighted it to fans watching at home, posting on Facebook: “Turns out we’re finally at a point where the BBC trust us on live tv! Watch us live either in the field or in the comfort of your own home!”

On stage, they performed in front of a screen bearing several statements, including one which claimed Israel’s actions in Gaza amount to “genocide”.

Afterwards, as controversy over the set grew, they appeared to double down with statements shared on social media.

Their comments have drawn criticism from the Israeli embassy and MPs – and now Glastonbury and Emily Eavis, too.

Bob Vylan performed on stage ahead of Kneecap, kept on the bill despite calls for them to be axed.

Michael Eavis, the festival’s founder, said before the event that people who did not like the politics could “go somewhere else”.

However, Bob Vylan’s comments pushed things too far, a statement posted by the festival and Emily Eavis said on Sunday morning.

“As a festival, we stand against all forms of war and terrorism,” the statement said. “We will always believe in – and actively campaign for – hope, unity, peace and love.”

With almost 4,000 performances over the weekend, there will be artists and speakers appearing “whose views we do not share”, they continued, “and a performer’s presence here should never be seen as a tacit endorsement of their opinions and beliefs”.

But they described the statements by Bob Vylan as “appalling”.

“Their chants very much crossed a line and we are urgently reminding everyone involved in the production of the festival that there is no place at Glastonbury for antisemitism, hate speech or incitement to violence.”