Connect with us

Published

on

It’s more than 10 years since Tinder launched its way into our phones – and our love lives – promising romance at the swipe of a thumb.

Just under five million adults in the UK visited an online dating service (app and websites) last year, according to Ofcom’s Online Nation Report.

But analysts are questioning whether the novelty is starting to wear off, as usage of the 10 biggest apps dropped 16% between 2023 and 2024.

Tinder revolutionised romance as the first dating app in 2012 – and it is still the largest one in Match group’s portfolio. But even it lost more than half a million users in the last year.

“Dating fatigue” appears to dominate the cultural landscape – some 78% of dating app users say they feel “emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted” by them, according to a 2024 study by Forbes Health, and a 2023 YouGov survey found that 46% of Brits say their dating app experiences have been bad.

I have stayed off the apps entirely, except for one impulsive evening with Hinge – one of the more popular ones among my age group. I’m not sure love can be found through swiping on a screen, and it seems I’m not alone.

So what exactly has gone wrong with finding modern love – and how can we hope to find a connection?

Can we find love by swiping left and right?
Image:
Can we find love by swiping left and right?

Frogs and filters

With 10% of adults visiting a dating site – and almost 4% visiting one daily according to Ofcom – there is no sign they are going anywhere fast, even if numbers are dropping.

Among the newcomers is Cherry.

It categorises users into three “vibes” – casual, go-with-the-flow and meaningful – to match intentions and ensure genuine connections.

There are also coaches available on the app because CEO Jo Mason believes people need to work on themselves before embarking on relationships with others.

Jo Mason is the founder of Cherry
Image:
Jo Mason is the founder of Cherry

“They’re hiding behind filtered photos, they’re hiding behind a phone, they’re hiding behind something all the time,” Jo says.

The app’s slogan is “kiss fewer frogs”, and the brand ambassador – a frog’s mask – is sitting on the table next to us.

According to a Cherry study, 58% of people dating feel exhausted by the process of swiping and superficial interactions, while 40% say their motivation to meet someone has decreased as a result.

Jo tells me she built Cherry out of “frustration”, adding: “Your options of trying to meet someone are either at the gym, bump into them at the supermarket, or through work, other than that it’s apps.”

Jo's mascot is a frog, her slogan 'kiss fewer frogs'
Image:
Jo’s mascot is a frog, her slogan ‘kiss fewer frogs’

‘Dating just seems to be all admin’

Thursday, an app launched in 2021, operates exclusively one day a week on – you guessed it, Thursdays – to encourage quick decision-making and in-person meetings.

Co-founder George Rawlings and I meet as we head to an over-30s singles event for users of the app in London at The Shard.

“We’re trying to destigmatise that whole thing around speed dating to make it normal,” George tells me.

“Is it awkward?” I ask, letting my intrusive thoughts win.

He laughs. “This is a different way of dating, we have obviously become so reliant on the apps for years but we’re giving people new opportunities to meet people in an ‘IRL’ way’.”

I want to know if these types of event are awkward - George tells me they can be
Image:
I want to know if these types of event are awkward – George tells me they can be

I still can’t believe how that phrase – in real life – has become an acronym, but at the same time, it is not surprising.

“My resolution for this year is to meet someone organically,” one man tells me at the event.

“[Dating] isn’t as fun as it used to be, now it just seems to be all admin,” another says. A family member told me the same thing that week – going through the apps these days is like reading and responding to emails.

One person likens it to a networking event: “There is an unspoken pressure that everyone is single.”

Singles in the Shard
Image:
Attendees at a singles event in The Shard

As I finish speaking to someone, a man approaches me and asks what I am filming.

When I tell him anyone who hasn’t given consent won’t be identified, he looks relieved.

“Phew,” he says, laughing.

“Because my wife will kill me if she finds out I am here.”

So what happens if you ditch the apps?

On the theme of meeting in real life, my friends and I – over 30 and single – decided to go out one evening in London to see the dating scene for ourselves.

Perhaps the future of dating isn’t found in an app but in the world right in front of us.

But we were wrong. We didn’t get approached once.

People are glued to their phones – from texting in the middle of conversations to scrolling through dating apps while sitting across from someone at dinner, it seems we are physically present but mentally elsewhere.

It felt like a brave act just going up to people and talking or asking dating questions.

“I feel a woman should never go look for a man,” one of my friends tells me afterwards. “That is probably why I am still single – because a lot of girls do shoot their shot now, they have the confidence to ask guys out.

“I even see girls getting on one knee.”

Charlene Douglas, a relationship expert, specialising in psychodynamic counselling, who is a regular guest on the TV show Married At First Sight, admits then “men don’t always know where they fit in” when it comes to modern dating.

“To wait for a guy to approach us, I think it is a bit…1950s,” she says.

“I think in 2025, we can say hi to a guy or we can just strike up a conversation. We’re good at talking, us women, right?”

Charlene Douglas
Image:
Charlene Douglas, a relationship expert, has worked on Married At First Sight

From online to artificial

It’s clear the emotional toll of online dating is becoming harder to ignore – so it comes as no surprise that some daters are turning to AI chatbots to help them respond to messages from strangers.

One woman, who wanted to remain anonymous, told me that she even inputs messages from men she is speaking to into ChatGPT because it offers reassurance and clarity when she feels in doubt.

Rather than speaking to friends about relationships, AI can suggest possible interpretations in a “non-biased” and “simplified” way, she says.

“I over analyse things a lot anyway. So ChatGPT just simplifies it for me.”

Apps such as Replika and Blush are designed to provide AI companions for emotional support, and in some cases, even mimic romantic or intimate human relationships.

It’s been reported that loneliness can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to the World Health Organisation – but is AI just a sticking plaster on a larger problem?

Read more:
My AI girlfriend saved my marriage
Can AI help with dating app success?

AI is having an increasing role in dating
Image:
AI is having an increasing role in dating

Do people know what they want?

Milly has created a Singles’ Society group on Instagram where she posts daily affirmations. Her videos have reached millions of people – including me.

“I felt so alone in this whole dating world,” she says.

“I was honestly so surprised that everyone else was having similar experiences.”

She plans to start events, including speed dating.

But Milly has a theory when it comes to the problem with modern dating – “It all comes down to people not knowing what they want.”

Milly G
Image:
Milly G, content creator, built the Single’s Society on Instagram

Relationship expert Charlene thinks the answer is more education in school.

“Young people try and work out how to do relationships themselves based on what they have seen at home and what they have seen around them,” she says. “But they don’t really always know how to have healthy relationships.”

So, despite the dating fatigue, I doubt dating apps are going anywhere, with new versions cropping up every day. And for some people, they can work.

Alex met her girlfriend Molly unexpectedly on one of the more popular apps, Hinge – they are now celebrating three years together: “We are currently in the flat we bought together, so I think you could say it is going quite well.”

Molly adds: “I think it’s quite good we had the option of online dating – I don’t think our paths would have crossed otherwise.”

Alex agrees: “With online dating, you get so many people, it almost feels like a numbers game, but it really does give you the opportunity to meet so many people that you wouldn’t otherwise.

“There are people out there – there are fabulous people out there, and you will find your person one day.”

Continue Reading

UK

‘Exceptional’ British soldier killed in Ukraine accident pictured

Published

on

By

'Exceptional' British soldier killed in Ukraine accident pictured

The Ministry of Defence have shared a picture of the British soldier who was killed in a “tragic accident” in Ukraine, as Volodymyr Zelenskyy prepares to give Donald Trump a revised plan for peace with Russia.

The Ukrainian president said his delegation is set to hand Kyiv’s proposal to Washington in the “near future”, ahead of talks between European leaders over the plan next week.

But they will comes after Mr Trump called European leaders “weak” and criticised them for failing to end the war between Russia and Ukraine.

As it happened: Soldier who died in Ukraine pictured for first time

Meanwhile, tributes have come in for Lance Corporal George Hooley, a 28-year-old paratrooper who died on Tuesday while observing Ukrainian forces testing a new defensive capability away from the frontline.

Please use Chrome browser for a more accessible video player

Is Europe’s transatlantic relationship with America on life support?

The MoD said he joined the army in November 2015 and was regarded as “an exceptional soldier and an impressive junior leader with extensive operational experience”.

In a statement released through the ministry, Lance Corporal Hooley’s commanding officer said that the paratrooper had had an “incredibly bright” future in the Parachute Regiment.

More on Army

“I have no doubt that he would have continued to perform at the very front of his peer-group over the coming years,” they added.

“All members of The Parachute Regiment mourn his loss; however, our sorrow is nothing compared to that being felt by his family, our thoughts and prayers are with them at this incredibly difficult time.”

Lance Corporal George Hooley with his dog Mabel. Pic: Ministry of Defence
Image:
Lance Corporal George Hooley with his dog Mabel. Pic: Ministry of Defence

‘If you met George Hooley, you remembered it’

The company commander added: “If you met George Hooley, you remembered it.” They said the paratrooper had a “rare gift” and was a “model of professionalism”.

Britain’s Defence Secretary John Healey said the Lance Corporal “served our country with distinction and professionalism” and was “an exceptional soldier who will be very deeply missed”.

“The tributes that have been paid to him are a testament to his exceptional attitude and ability,” Mr Healey said. “George’s tragic death reminds us of the courage and commitment with which our outstanding armed forces serve every day to protect our nation.”

Zelenskyy: Ukraine to share peace plan in ‘near future’

Mr Zelenskyy said that Ukraine was finalising a 20-point peace document to share with the United States.

“We are working very productively to guarantee future security and prevent a recurrence of Russian aggression,” he said.

But Mr Trump had accused Mr Zelenskyy of not reading the original American-backed version of the peace proposal, and in an interview with Politico on Tuesday, claimed the Ukrainian president was “using war” to avoid holding an election.

Read more: Trump’s 28-point Ukraine peace plan in full

Later on Wednesday, Mr Zelenskyy said Kyiv’s peace delegation held a “productive conversation” with the US, and “discussed key issues for recovery, various mechanisms, and visions of reconstruction”.

Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz and French President Emmanuel Macron also spoke with the US president by phone on Wednesday.

In Ukraine shelling at a hospital in the occupied southern Kherson region killed three medical workers and injured two others, according to a governor installed by Russia.

And on Wednesday morning, Ukraine said its energy infrastructure had been targeted by Russian drone strikes in the southern Odesa region.

Continue Reading

UK

Sharaz Ali found guilty of murdering ex-partner’s sister and her three children in Bradford house fire

Published

on

By

Sharaz Ali found guilty of murdering ex-partner's sister and her three children in Bradford house fire

A man has been found guilty of murdering his ex-partner’s sister and her three children in a house fire.

Prosecutors said Sharaz Ali, 40, was “motivated by jealousy and fuelled by drink and drugs” when he set fire to Bryonie Gawith’s home early on 21 August last year.

Jurors heard that Ali went to the home in Westbury Road, Bradford, aiming to “take revenge” on his ex, Antonia Gawith, who was staying there after ending their “abusive” seven-year relationship earlier that month.

Antonia Gawith managed to escape, but Bryonie Gawith, 29, and her children Denisty Birtle, nine, Oscar Birtle, five, and 22-month-old Aubree Birtle died in the blaze.

Bryonie Gawith and her children Denisty, Oscar and Aubree Birtle died in the fire
Image:
Bryonie Gawith and her children Denisty, Oscar and Aubree Birtle died in the fire


Ali told a jury he had no intention of harming others when the house went up in flames, saying: “I didn’t want to hurt anyone but myself.”

But after a trial at Doncaster Crown Court, he was found guilty of four counts of murder and attempting to murder Antonia Gawith.

Calum Sunderland, 26, who went with Ali to the house and kicked the door in for him, was found guilty of the manslaughter of Bryonie Gawith and her three children, but cleared of the more serious charges of murder.

He was also cleared of attempted murder, and an alternative count of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm, in relation to Antonia Gawith.

Calum Sunderland. Pic: West Yorkshire Police
Image:
Calum Sunderland. Pic: West Yorkshire Police

Mohammed Shabir, 45, who had also been due to go on trial, died of a heart attack in October after collapsing in prison.

After the verdicts, the judge, Mr Justice Hilliard, thanked jurors and said the case had been “distressing beyond measure – three children and their mother murdered”.

“I don’t think anyone who heard Antonia’s desperate cries for help will ever forget them,” he said.

“These are truly dreadful crimes.”

The judge also praised the “extraordinary bravery” of those who tried to save the children trapped in the house.

Ali and Sunderland, a convicted arsonist, were driven to the house by Shabir, stopping on the way to fill a seven-litre canister with petrol, the court heard.

Doorbell footage captured Ali telling Sunderland, who was carrying the petrol and a lighter, to “kick the door in”, which he did before running back to the car.

Antonia Gawith said she saw an “angry” Ali run into the house and begin pouring petrol on her while shouting before setting himself and the house on fire.

Antonia Gawith outside Doncaster Crown Court. Pic: PA
Image:
Antonia Gawith outside Doncaster Crown Court. Pic: PA

‘I couldn’t save them’

In a video interview played to jurors, she sobbed as she told police how she “couldn’t save” her sister, nieces and nephew, as she tried frantically to get back in the house through the back door.

“I was just screaming, trying to get back in the house and I couldn’t get in. I couldn’t save them,” she said.

Read more from Sky News:
‘Depraved predator’ jailed for rapes and sexual assaults
British soldier who died in Ukraine named

West Yorkshire Police’s Detective Chief Inspector Stacey Atkinson said: “Bryonie and her three children would still be alive today if it wasn’t for the horrific and truly callous actions of Ali and Sunderland that day.

“They left a mum and her three children completely helpless whilst her sister and their auntie watched on in horror.

“Our thoughts and sympathies are with the family, who despite their immense strength of character now face the rest of their lives without them.”

Senior Crown Prosecution Service prosecutor Amanda McInnes said Ali was a “selfish killer who had no regard for anyone but himself”.

“He was motivated by jealousy and his actions have now needlessly robbed a family of their loved ones,” she said.

“Both men played their role and caused the deaths of a young family who should still be with us today.”

Continue Reading

UK

‘I didn’t know where to turn’: Why ethnic minorities with gambling addictions struggle to get help

Published

on

By

'I didn't know where to turn': Why ethnic minorities with gambling addictions struggle to get help

On a dark December morning two years ago, Kiki Marriott left her flat and started walking.

Content warning: This article contains references to suicide.

It was 5am, and she was heading for the station.

“I was numb at that point,” she says.

“I was just so done with trying to survive and just existing… feeling extremely lonely and isolated and didn’t know where to turn.”

She was trapped in a cycle of addiction, gambling all hours and taking cocaine for the maximum buzz.

'I didn't know where to turn,' says Kiki
Image:
‘I didn’t know where to turn,’ says Kiki

“I sat at the train station thinking about my daughter, thinking about the mistakes that I’ve made in the past, thinking that I didn’t want to live this life any more.”

Kiki was waiting for the first train.

But that train was late. And she changed her mind.

Instead of taking her own life, she decided to seek help.

Yet what she would find on that journey of recovery would shock her.

“I just realised that there wasn’t anybody that looked like me, sounded like me, and it got me to thinking, well I can’t be the only black woman suffering with a gambling or cocaine addiction.”

Please use Chrome browser for a more accessible video player

‘I can’t be the only black woman suffering addiction’

Racial disparities

Research has shown that people from ethnic minority backgrounds are less likely to gamble than white people, but are more likely to suffer harm from gambling.

Despite that, too often they do not seek help.

And YouGov statistics shared exclusively with Sky News shed a light on why.

The survey of 4,000 adults for GamCare, which runs the National Gambling Helpline, found that two-thirds of people from ethnic minority backgrounds who’d gambled in the past year had spent more money than they’d planned, double the amount of white respondents.

They were also more than twice as likely to hide their gambling and nearly three times as likely to feel guilt.

Kiki is not surprised.

“For me, coming from a black community, a black background, what goes on indoors stays behind closed doors,” she says.

“You keep your mouth shut, and you handle your business yourself.”

And when she considered what an addict looked like, it wasn’t someone like her.

“I just thought it’s an old white man’s thing – that they go into the bookies, and they have a drink and they bet.

“I thought, well, that’s not me.”

But Dharmi Kapadia, a senior sociology lecturer from Manchester University, who focuses on racial inequality, thinks there’s more than just cultural pressure at play.

“These explanations of stigma have become dominant,” she says.

“We’ve found that what’s more important is that people don’t want to go and get help from gambling services because of previous racist treatment that they’ve suffered at the hands of other statutory services, for example, when they went to the GP.”

Dharmi Kapadia thinks there's more than just cultural pressure at play
Image:
Dharmi Kapadia thinks there’s more than just cultural pressure at play

‘I needed to change’

The stigma felt very real for Kiki, so she hid what she was doing.

“I’ve had trauma in my life. I’ve been sexually abused as a child.

“As the years have gone on, a traumatic event happened in my family that really changed the dynamics of my life and that’s when I moved on from scratch cards to online slots.”

She became hooked – betting around the clock, spending her benefits on 10p and 20p spins on online slots and borrowing money from those around her.

Eventually her daughter moved out when she was 15.

“That’s when everything escalated. I didn’t have that responsibility of keeping up appearances.

“Before that, gas, electric, food shopping, all those things had to be in place.

“I just lived and breathed in my bedroom at that point and yeah, it was very lonely.”

When Kiki left the station that day, she called the National Gambling Helpline.

“For the first time in my life, I was completely honest about everything that I was doing – the lies, the manipulation when I was in active addiction, the secrecy.

“I was completely transparent because I wanted to change. I needed to change.”

‘Where’s all the women?’

Since then, she has undergone constant therapy, including a six-week stint in rehab.

And as she headed home in the taxi, her phone rang.

It was Lisa Walker, a woman who understood gambling addiction. She had won £127,000 playing poker at 29 before losing everything and ending up homeless with her young children.

Lisa Walker (left) sought help from Gamblers Anonymous and was among very few women at her meetings
Image:
Lisa Walker (left) sought help from Gamblers Anonymous and was among very few women at her meetings

When she finally asked for help, she too felt she was different, walking into a Gamblers Anonymous meeting to find she was one of only two women in a room with 35 men.

“I was thinking, where’s all the women?” says Lisa.

“I can’t be the only woman in the world with a gambling addiction, so that got me thinking, what services are out there for women?”

It was the catalyst to set up support for female gamblers in April 2022.

Since then, Lisa has helped close to 250 women, but all but four have been white.

One of those four was Kiki.

‘There’s no getting away from it’

“It just baffles me… Why aren’t they reaching out for support? Is it the shame? Is it stigma?” says Lisa.

But another concern is that it’s simply too easy to hide the gambling.

“Getting on the train this morning, 90% of people are on their phones, and we don’t know whether they’re playing slots,” she says.

“I could probably sit here now and sign up for 50 online casinos and probably get over a thousand free spins.

“I just think there’s no getting away from it because it’s 24 hours a day.”

Kiki says she now has an 'amazing' relationship with her daughter
Image:
Kiki says she now has an ‘amazing’ relationship with her daughter

Kiki’s flat in Woolwich, where once she couldn’t even go to the bathroom without gambling, has become the place where she runs her own online peer mentoring groups.

“Feeling understood and validated for your experiences, for how you was raised… the core beliefs that you’re taught from a young age, to have somebody that looks like you, talks like you, has the same cultural background… it’s extremely important to make you feel understood, to make you feel validated,” she says.

‘You can learn from it’

Kiki will need to attend support groups for life to keep her addictions at bay.

But she has a clear goal, just as Lisa did.

“My focus is to help other people, help empower other people to choose themselves, to show them that there is light after so much darkness… that you don’t have to be a victim of your circumstances, that you can choose to grow from it and learn from it and heal from it,” she says.

For Kiki, there was so much at stake.

“It was either I was going to die or I was going to become a woman and a mother that my daughter could come back to and respect again.”

And that has happened. Kiki’s daughter is 19 now.

Kiki now helps others suffering from gambling addiction
Image:
Kiki now helps others suffering from gambling addiction

“We’ve got an amazing relationship today. I’ve took full accountability for the mistakes that I’ve made.

“She’s extremely proud of where I am today.”

It’s more than Kiki could have dreamt of two years ago.

Now all she wants is to help others escape the endless cycle of addiction.

Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK

To speak to an adviser on the National Gambling Helpline, call 0808 8020 133

Continue Reading

Trending