It’s more than 10 years since Tinder launched its way into our phones – and our love lives – promising romance at the swipe of a thumb.
Just under five million adults in the UK visited an online dating service (app and websites) last year, according to Ofcom’s Online Nation Report.
But analysts are questioning whether the novelty is starting to wear off, as usage of the 10 biggest apps dropped 16% between 2023 and 2024.
Tinder revolutionised romance as the first dating app in 2012 – and it is still the largest one in Match group’s portfolio. But even it lost more than half a million usersin the last year.
“Dating fatigue” appears to dominate the cultural landscape – some 78% of dating app users say they feel “emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted” by them, according to a 2024 study by Forbes Health, and a2023 YouGov survey found that 46% of Brits say their dating app experiences have been bad.
I have stayed off the apps entirely, except for one impulsive evening with Hinge – one of the more popular ones among my age group. I’m not sure love can be found through swiping on a screen, and it seems I’m not alone.
So what exactly has gone wrong with finding modern love – and how can we hope to find a connection?
Image: Can we find love by swiping left and right?
Frogs and filters
With 10% of adults visiting a dating site – and almost 4% visiting one daily according to Ofcom– there is no sign they are going anywhere fast, even if numbers are dropping.
Among the newcomers is Cherry.
It categorises users into three “vibes” – casual, go-with-the-flow and meaningful – to match intentions and ensure genuine connections.
There are also coaches available on the app because CEO Jo Mason believes people need to work on themselves before embarking on relationships with others.
Image: Jo Mason is the founder of Cherry
“They’re hiding behind filtered photos, they’re hiding behind a phone, they’re hiding behind something all the time,” Jo says.
The app’s slogan is “kiss fewer frogs”, and the brand ambassador – a frog’s mask – is sitting on the table next to us.
According to a Cherry study, 58% of people dating feel exhausted by the process of swiping and superficial interactions, while 40% say their motivation to meet someone has decreased as a result.
Jo tells me she built Cherry out of “frustration”, adding: “Your options of trying to meet someone are either at the gym, bump into them at the supermarket, or through work, other than that it’s apps.”
Image: Jo’s mascot is a frog, her slogan ‘kiss fewer frogs’
‘Dating just seems to be all admin’
Thursday, an app launched in 2021, operates exclusively one day a week on – you guessed it, Thursdays – to encourage quick decision-making and in-person meetings.
Co-founder George Rawlings and I meet as we head to an over-30s singles event for users of the app in London at The Shard.
“We’re trying to destigmatise that whole thing around speed dating to make it normal,” George tells me.
“Is it awkward?” I ask, letting my intrusive thoughts win.
He laughs. “This is a different way of dating, we have obviously become so reliant on the apps for years but we’re giving people new opportunities to meet people in an ‘IRL’ way’.”
Image: I want to know if these types of event are awkward – George tells me they can be
I still can’t believe how that phrase – in real life – has become an acronym, but at the same time, it is not surprising.
“My resolution for this year is to meet someone organically,” one man tells me at the event.
“[Dating] isn’t as fun as it used to be, now it just seems to be all admin,” another says. A family member told me the same thing that week – going through the apps these days is like reading and responding to emails.
One person likens it to a networking event: “There is an unspoken pressure that everyone is single.”
Image: Attendees at a singles event in The Shard
As I finish speaking to someone, a man approaches me and asks what I am filming.
When I tell him anyone who hasn’t given consent won’t be identified, he looks relieved.
“Phew,” he says, laughing.
“Because my wife will kill me if she finds out I am here.”
So what happens if you ditch the apps?
On the theme of meeting in real life, my friends and I – over 30 and single – decided to go out one evening in London to see the dating scene for ourselves.
Perhaps the future of dating isn’t found in an app but in the world right in front of us.
But we were wrong. We didn’t get approached once.
People are glued to their phones – from texting in the middle of conversations to scrolling through dating apps while sitting across from someone at dinner, it seems we are physically present but mentally elsewhere.
It felt like a brave act just going up to people and talking or asking dating questions.
“I feel a woman should never go look for a man,” one of my friends tells me afterwards. “That is probably why I am still single – because a lot of girls do shoot their shot now, they have the confidence to ask guys out.
“I even see girls getting on one knee.”
Charlene Douglas, a relationship expert, specialising in psychodynamic counselling, who is a regular guest on the TV show Married At First Sight, admits then “men don’t always know where they fit in” when it comes to modern dating.
“To wait for a guy to approach us, I think it is a bit…1950s,” she says.
“I think in 2025, we can say hi to a guy or we can just strike up a conversation. We’re good at talking, us women, right?”
Image: Charlene Douglas, a relationship expert, has worked on Married At First Sight
From online to artificial
It’s clear the emotional toll of online dating is becoming harder to ignore – so it comes as no surprise that some daters are turning to AI chatbots to help them respond to messages from strangers.
One woman, who wanted to remain anonymous, told me that she even inputs messages from men she is speaking to into ChatGPT because it offers reassurance and clarity when she feels in doubt.
Rather than speaking to friends about relationships, AI can suggest possible interpretations in a “non-biased” and “simplified” way, she says.
“I over analyse things a lot anyway. So ChatGPT just simplifies it for me.”
Apps such as Replika and Blush are designed to provide AI companions for emotional support, and in some cases, even mimic romantic or intimate human relationships.
It’s been reported that loneliness can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to the World Health Organisation – but is AI just a sticking plaster on a larger problem?
Milly has created a Singles’ Society group on Instagram where she posts daily affirmations. Her videos have reached millions of people – including me.
“I felt so alone in this whole dating world,” she says.
“I was honestly so surprised that everyone else was having similar experiences.”
She plans to start events, including speed dating.
But Milly has a theory when it comes to the problem with modern dating – “It all comes down to people not knowing what they want.”
Image: Milly G, content creator, built the Single’s Society on Instagram
Relationship expert Charlene thinks the answer is more education in school.
“Young people try and work out how to do relationships themselves based on what they have seen at home and what they have seen around them,” she says. “But they don’t really always know how to have healthy relationships.”
So, despite the dating fatigue, I doubt dating apps are going anywhere, with new versions cropping up every day. And for some people, they can work.
Alex met her girlfriend Molly unexpectedly on one of the more popular apps, Hinge – they are now celebrating three years together: “We are currently in the flat we bought together, so I think you could say it is going quite well.”
Molly adds: “I think it’s quite good we had the option of online dating – I don’t think our paths would have crossed otherwise.”
Alex agrees: “With online dating, you get so many people, it almost feels like a numbers game, but it really does give you the opportunity to meet so many people that you wouldn’t otherwise.
“There are people out there – there are fabulous people out there, and you will find your person one day.”
A small plane has crashed at Southend Airport in Essex.
Essex Police said it was at the scene of a “serious incident”.
Images posted online showed huge flames and a large cloud of black smoke, with one witness saying they saw a “fireball”.
A police statement said: “We were alerted shortly before 4pm to reports of a collision involving one 12-metre plane.
“We are working with all emergency services at the scene now and that work will be ongoing for several hours.
“We would please ask the public to avoid this area where possible while this work continues.”
Image: A huge fireball near the airport. Pic: Ben G
It has been reported that the plane involved in the incident is a Beech B200 Super King Air.
According to flight-tracking service Flightradar, it took off at 3.48pm and was bound for Lelystad, a city in the Netherlands.
One man, who was at Southend Airport with his family around the time of the incident, said the aircraft “crashed headfirst into the ground”.
John Johnson said: “About three or four seconds after taking off, it started to bank heavily to its left, and then within a few seconds of that happening, it more or less inverted and crashed.
“There was a big fireball. Obviously, everybody was in shock in terms of witnessing it. All the kids saw it and the families saw it.”
Mr Johnson added that he phoned 999 to report the crash.
Southend Airport said the incident involved “a general aviation aircraft”.
Four flights scheduled to take off from Southend this afternoon were cancelled, according to its website.
Flightradar data shows two planes that had been due to land at Southend were diverted to nearby airports London Gatwick and London Stansted.
Image: Plumes of black smoke. Pic: UKNIP
Essex County Fire and Rescue Service said four crews, along with off-road vehicles, have attended the scene.
Four ambulances and four hazardous area response team vehicles are also at the airport, as well as an air ambulance, the East of England Ambulance Service said.
Its statement described the incident as “still developing”.
Image: Fire engines at the airport
David Burton-Sampson, the MP for Southend West and Leigh, posted on social media: “I am aware of an incident at Southend Airport. Please keep away and allow the emergency services to do their work.
“My thoughts are with everyone involved.”
Local councillor Matt Dent said on X: “At present all I know is that a small plane has crashed at the airport. My thoughts are with all those involved, and with the emergency services currently responding to the incident.”
This breaking news story is being updated and more details will be published shortly.
Another hint that tax rises are coming in this autumn’s budget has been given by a senior minister.
Speaking to Sunday Morning with Trevor Phillips, Transport Secretary Heidi Alexander was asked if Sir Keir Starmer and the rest of the cabinet had discussed hiking taxes in the wake of the government’s failed welfare reforms, which were shot down by their own MPs.
Trevor Phillips asked specifically if tax rises were discussed among the cabinet last week – including on an away day on Friday.
Tax increases were not discussed “directly”, Ms Alexander said, but ministers were “cognisant” of the challenges facing them.
Asked what this means, Ms Alexander added: “I think your viewers would be surprised if we didn’t recognise that at the budget, the chancellor will need to look at the OBR forecast that is given to her and will make decisions in line with the fiscal rules that she has set out.
“We made a commitment in our manifesto not to be putting up taxes on people on modest incomes, working people. We have stuck to that.”
Ms Alexander said she wouldn’t comment directly on taxes and the budget at this point, adding: “So, the chancellor will set her budget. I’m not going to sit in a TV studio today and speculate on what the contents of that budget might be.
“When it comes to taxation, fairness is going to be our guiding principle.”
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Afterwards, shadow home secretary Chris Philp told Phillips: “That sounds to me like a barely disguised reference to tax rises coming in the autumn.”
He then went on to repeat the Conservative attack lines that Labour are “crashing the economy”.
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10:43
Chris Philp also criticsed the government’s migration deal with France
Mr Philp then attacked the prime minister as “weak” for being unable to get his welfare reforms through the Commons.
Discussions about potential tax rises have come to the fore after the government had to gut its welfare reforms.
Sir Keir had wanted to change Personal Independence Payments (PIP), but a large Labour rebellion forced him to axe the changes.
With the savings from these proposed changes – around £5bn – already worked into the government’s sums, they will now need to find the money somewhere else.
The general belief is that this will take the form of tax rises, rather than spending cuts, with more money needed for military spending commitments, as well as other areas of priority for the government, such as the NHS.
It is “shameful” that black boys growing up in London are “far more likely” to die than white boys, Metropolitan Police chief Sir Mark Rowley has told Sky News.
In a wide-ranging interview with Sunday Morning with Trevor Phillips, the commissioner saidthat relations with minority communities are “difficult for us”, while also speaking about the state of the justice system and the size of the police force.
Sir Mark, who came out of retirement to become head of the UK’s largest police force in 2022, said: “We can’t pretend otherwise that we’ve got a history between policing and black communities where policing has got a lot wrong.
“And we get a lot more right today, but we do still make mistakes. That’s not in doubt. I’m being as relentless in that as it can be.”
He said the “vast majority” of the force are “good people”.
However, he added: “But that legacy, combined with the tragedy that some of this crime falls most heavily in black communities, that creates a real problem because the legacy creates concern.”
Sir Mark, who also leads the UK’s counter-terrorism policing, said black boys growing up in London “are far more likely to be dead by the time they’re 18” than white boys.
“That’s, I think, shameful for the city,” he admitted.
“The challenge for us is, as we reach in to tackle those issues, that confrontation that comes from that reaching in, whether it’s stop and search on the streets or the sort of operations you seek.
“The danger is that’s landing in an environment with less trust.
“And that makes it even harder. But the people who win out of that [are] all of the criminals.”
Image: Met Police Commissioner Sir Mark Rowley
The commissioner added: “I’m so determined to find a way to get past this because if policing in black communities can find a way to confront these issues, together we can give black boys growing up in London equal life chances to white boys, which is not what we’re seeing at the moment.
“And it’s not simply about policing, is it?”
Sir Mark said: “I think black boys are several times more likely to be excluded from school, for example, than white boys.
“And there are multiple issues layered on top of each other that feed into disproportionality.”
‘We’re stretched, but there’s hope and determination’
Sir Mark said the Met is a “stretched service” but people who call 999 can expect an officer to attend.
“If you are in the middle of a crisis and something awful is happening and you dial 999, officers will get there really quickly,” Sir Mark said.
“I don’t pretend we’re not a stretched service.
“We are smaller than I think we ought to be, but I don’t want to give a sort of message of a lack of hope or a lack of determination.”
“I’ve seen the mayor and the home secretary fighting hard for police resourcing,” he added.
“It’s not what I’d want it to be, but it’s better than it might be without their efforts.”
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0:39
How police tracked and chased suspected phone thief
‘Close to broken’ justice system facing ‘awful’ delays
Sir Mark said the criminal justice system was “close to broken” and can be “frustrating” for police officers.
“The thing that is frustrating is that the system – and no system can be perfect – but when the system hasn’t managed to turn that person’s life around and get them on the straight and narrow, and it just becomes a revolving door,” he said.
“When that happens, of course that’s frustrating for officers.
“So the more successful prisons and probation can be in terms of getting people onto a law-abiding life from the path they’re on, the better.
“But that is a real challenge. I mean, we’re talking just after Sir Brian Leveson put his report out about the close-to-broken criminal justice system.
“And it’s absolutely vital that those repairs and reforms that he’s talking about happen really quickly, because the system is now so stressed.”
Giving an example, the police commissioner went on: “We’ve got Snaresbrook [Crown Court] in London – it’s now got more than 100 cases listed for 2029.”
Sir Mark asked Trevor Phillips to imagine he had been the victim of a crime, saying: “We’ve caught the person, we’ve charged him, ‘great news, Mr Phillips, we’ve got him charged, they’re going to court’.
“And then a few weeks later, I see the trial’s listed for 2029. That doesn’t feel great, does it?”
Asked about the fact that suspects could still be on the streets for years before going to trial, Sir Mark conceded it’s “pretty awful”.
He added: “If it’s someone on bail, who might have stolen your phone or whatever, and they’re going in for a criminal court trial, that could be four years away. And that’s pretty unacceptable, isn’t it?”
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She pinned the primary blame for the Met’s culture on its past leadership and found stop and search and the use of force against black people was excessive.
At the time, Sir Mark, who had been commissioner for six months when the report was published, said he would not use the labels of institutionally racist, institutionally misogynistic and institutionally homophobic, which Baroness Casey insisted the Met deserved.
However, London Mayor Sadiq Khan, who helped hire Sir Mark – and could fire him – made it clear the commissioner agreed with Baroness Casey’s verdict.
A few months after the report, Sir Mark launched a two-year £366m plan to overhaul the Met, including increased emphasis on neighbourhood policing to rebuild public trust and plans to recruit 500 more community support officers and an extra 565 people to work with teams investigating domestic violence, sexual offences and child sexual abuse and exploitation.