School kids asking for advice on strangulation during sex – as abuse victim issues warning
Schoolchildren are asking teachers how to strangle a partner during sex safely, a charity says, while official figures show an alarming rise in the crime related to domestic abuse cases.
Warning: This article contains references to strangulation, domestic abuse and distressing images.
It comes as a woman whose former partner almost strangled her to death in a rage has advised anyone in an abusive relationship to seek help.
Bernie Ryan, chief executive of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation, has been running the charity since its inception in 2022 after non-fatal strangulation became a standalone offence.
“It’s the ultimate form of control,” she says.
She says perpetrators and victims are getting younger, while the reason is unclear, but strangulation has seeped into popular culture and social media.
“We hear lots of sex education providers, teachers saying that they’re hearing it in schools.
“We know teachers have been asked, ‘how do I teach somebody to strangle safely?’
“Our message is there is no safe way to strangle – the anatomy is the anatomy. Reduction in oxygen to the brain or blood flow will result in the same medical consequences, regardless of context.”
Bernie Ryan, CEO of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation
A recent review by Conservative peer Baroness Gabby Bertin recommended banning “degrading, violent and misogynistic content” online.
Violent pornography showing women being choked during sex she found was “rife on mainstream platforms”.
Ms Ryan says she “wants to make sure that young people don’t have access to activities that demonstrate that this is normal behaviour”.
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Strangulation is a violent act that is often committed in abusive relationships.
It is the second most common method used by men to kill women, the first is stabbing.
According to statistics shared by the Crown Prosecution Service, in 2024 there was an almost 50% rise in incidents of non-fatal strangulation and suffocation – compared to the year before.
Kerry Allan pleads for other victims of abuse to seek help
Domestic abuse victim Kerry Allan has a message for anyone who is in an abusive relationship.
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022. While she said “at the beginning it was really good”, within months he became physically abusive.
In August last year her friends found his profile on a dating app.
“I confronted him and he denied it. I knew we were going to get into a big argument and I couldn’t face it, so I said I was going to my mum’s for a few days and take myself away from the situation.
“I came back a few days later and stupidly I agreed we could try again and everything escalated from that.”
Injuries to Kerry’s chest. Pic: CPS
In the early hours of 25 August the pair had come in from a night out at a concert and got into an argument.
“He was having a go at me, accusing me of flirting with other people, and I was angry. I told him he had a nerve after what he’d done to me in the week and how he humiliated me.
“I told him that I wanted to leave, that we were done and that I wanted to go to my mum’s and that’s when it got bad.
“He pinned me to the bed and that’s when he first strangled me.”
Kerry’s neck injury. Pic: CPS
Kerry says this was the first time she’d ever been violently assaulted. Cosgrove was eerily silent as he eventually let go and Kerry gasped for air.
“I remember trying to get my breath back, I was crying and hyperventilating… I was sick on the bedroom floor and I was asking him to go.”
Cosgrove strangled her for a second time before letting go again.
“He was saying I wasn’t getting out of this bedroom alive. I was dead tonight, he hoped that I knew that. Just kept saying how I’d ruined his life.”
Injury to Kerry’s eye. Pic: CPS
“I remember feeling a sort of shock thinking at this point, I’m not going to get out of this bedroom, he’s actually going to kill me.”
Kerry began screaming and shouting for help as loud as she could.
Her neighbours heard the commotion and called the police. While they were en route, Kerry was once again being assaulted.
Bleeding in Kerry’s eye
“I ran over to the bedroom window and tried to jump out, he grabbed me as I went to open the window, and we struggled. And then I was back in the same position, he was on top of me on the bed, and his hands were round the throat again. But this time it didn’t stop.
“I remember trying to struggle and trying to kick out and hit him and I just kept thinking that I definitely was going to die, because at this point, it wasn’t stopping.”
The next memory Kerry has is opening her eyes to see police and paramedics in the bedroom.
Michael Cosgrove. Pic: CPS
Cosgrove had heard the sirens, jumped out of the bedroom window and went to hide in Kerry’s car.
Kerry remembers opening her eyes to paramedics caring for her: “I remember thinking, I’m alive. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I was alive and I wasn’t dead. My last memory is him being on top of me with his hands on my throat.”
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022
She gives this advice to anyone who is in an abusive relationship: “Please speak to somebody, whether it’s friends, family, a work colleague, whether it’s somebody online, whether it’s a charity that you’re directed to, any sort of abuse is not okay.
“Whether it starts off emotional, they often start off that way, and they escalate, and they can escalate badly.
“Take what happened to me as a huge warning sign, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to be in the position I’ve been in the last eight months.”
Cosgrove was found guilty of attempting to murder Kerry and intentional strangulation.
He will be sentenced in July.
If you suspect you are being abused and need to speak to someone, there are people who can help you.
The National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
Respect, the helpline for male domestic abuse victims: 0808 8010327
Galop, the LGBT+ anti-violence charity: 0800 999 5428
A trove of newly released Epstein files include emails that appear to involve Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, while another suggests Donald Trump travelled on the billionaire’s private jet “many more times than previously has been reported”.
The US Department of Justice released at least 11,000 more files on Tuesday.
It went on to claim that some of them “contain untrue and sensationalist claims” about President Trump.
Here are some of the latest news lines from this release of Epstein files. Being named in these papers does not suggest wrongdoing.
Who is ‘The Invisible Man’?
Among the documents released is an email sent to Ghislaine Maxwell that speaks about “the girls” being “completely shattered” at a Royal Family summer camp at Balmoral.
It is dated 16 August 2001 and sent by a person referred to as “The Invisible Man”, who signed off the message as “A” – and is believed to be Andrew.
Sky News has come to that conclusion from reviewing the email address used, which is assigned to the Duke of York in Epstein’s contacts book and the chain of correspondence.
In the correspondence, “The Invisible Man” asks Maxwell: “How’s LA? Have you found me some new inappropriate friends?”
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has previously denied any allegations against him.
The Peru trip
Another email appears to show Maxwell arranging “two-legged sight seeing” for “The Invisible Man” during a trip to Peru.
She appears to forward to “The Invisible Man” part of a conversation between herself and another person.
The email says: “I just gave Andrew your telephone no. He is interested in seeing the Nazca lines. He can ride but it is not his favorite sport ie pass on the horses.”
“Some sight seeing some 2 legged sight seeing (read intelligent pretty fun and from good families) and he will be very happy. I know I can rely on you to show him a wonderful time and will only introduce him to friends that you can trust,” Maxwell said.
The context of the email is unclear and there is no suggestion of any wrongdoing.
Trump on Epstein’s jet?
The latest bunch of files also includes an email from an unidentified prosecutor dated 7 January, 2020, in which President Trump is mentioned.
The email accuses him of travelling on Epstein’s private jet “many more times than previously has been reported”.
It adds that President Trump “is listed as a passenger on at least eight flights between 1993 and 1996, including at least four flights on which Maxwell was also present”.
The email’s sender and receiver have been redacted. However, at the bottom of the email it says assistant US attorney, Southern District of New York. The name has also been redacted.
President Trump has denied any wrongdoing in relation to his relationship with Epstein, and being on any of Epstein’s flights does not indicate any wrongdoing.
Read more:
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Why Andrew photo in Epstein files is awkward for Royal Family
Limousine driver report about Trump
One of the documents in the release shows a report made to the FBI that was recorded on 27 October 2020.
It includes an unverified claim by a limousine driver that he overheard the US president discussing “abusing some girl” in 1995.
The driver also mentions Trump said “Jeffrey” while on the phone during a journey to Dallas Fort Worth Airport in Texas.
A significant part of the statement, along with the driver’s identity, has been redacted.
The US justice department has said that some of the documents in the latest Epstein files release “contain untrue and sensationalist claims made against President Trump that were submitted to the FBI right before the 2020 election”.
“To be clear: the claims are unfounded and false, and if they had a shred of credibility, they certainly would have been weaponized against President Trump already,” it said.
Postcard mentions ‘our president’
Also among the documents is a postcard that claims to have been sent by Jeffrey Epstein, but has been refuted by the justice department.
In it, the sender tells the recipient: “Our president also shares our love of young, nubile girls.”
It’s not clear who “our president” refers to and the context of the postcard is also unclear.
The US justice department initially said it was “looking into the validity” of the postcard but later said on X that the “FBI has confirmed” the postcard is “FAKE”.
It cited reasons including a claim that the writing does not appear to match Epstein’s and another that the letter was postmarked three days after his death.
Row over unreleased documents
It is believed that many files relating to Epstein are yet to be made public.
There has been anger at the justice department’s slow release of the files, with politicians threatening to launch legal action against Attorney General Pam Bondi.
The deadline for the release of all the documents has passed.
“The DOJ needs to quit protecting the rich, powerful, and politically connected,” Republican congressman Thomas Massie said.
The prime minister has acknowledged Britons’ cost-of-living struggles in his Christmas message – and vowed that helping with the issue is his “priority”.
Sir Keir Starmer also urged members of the public to “each do our bit” and “reach out” to friends, relatives and neighbours during the festive period.
His message comes at the end of a difficult year for his government, with economic growth stuttering and Chancellor Rachel Reeves facing criticism over tax rises in the budget.
In a message recorded inside 10 Downing Street, Sir Keir said: “I know many across Britain are still struggling with the cost of living. Helping with that is my priority.
“But at this time of the year, which celebrates love and abundance, loss or hardship can feel even more acute.
“So call around to a neighbour. Check in on a friend or a relative who you haven’t heard from for a while. Reach out. It can make a huge difference.
“That is what Christmas is about.”
Sir Keir Starmer delivers his Christmas message from inside Downing Street. Pic: Downing Street
The prime minister thanked NHS workers along with members of the military and the emergency services who will be on duty on Christmas Day.
“Just as so many put their feet up, some truly special people will be pulling on their uniforms and heading out to work,” he said.
“Our NHS staff emergency services and the brave men and women of our armed forces, all playing their part, doing their bit to care for the nation and to keep us safe.
“Many volunteers will be out there as well. Serving food. Reaching out to help those lonely or in need.
“So on behalf of the whole country, I want to say a big thank you.
“As a nation, we should raise a glass to you this Christmas. But more than that, we should each do our bit as well.”
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Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch used her Christmas message to talk about “Christian values” and thanked “everyone who has supported me during my first year as leader of the opposition”.
“It’s been the biggest challenge of my life,” she said. “But it’s also been a wonderful year. I can’t wait to get back to work next year to create a better United Kingdom.”
Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey spoke about the Christmas tree in London’s Trafalgar Square – an annual gift from Norway to thank the UK for its support during the Second World War – in his message.
While saying the tree may “look a little underwhelming” on first glance, the Liberal Democrat leader said it was a reminder of “friendship and loyalty”.
He added: “It makes me think about people standing together in tough times – whether against the Nazis in the 1940s, or right now in Ukraine.
“And yeah, it might not be perfect, but this tree in Trafalgar Square makes me think about families and friends looking out for one another right here at home.
“I can’t think of a better symbol of the Christmas spirit of generosity, love and hope. Of light in the darkness.”
UK
Details of King Charles’s Christmas message revealed – as he chooses to deliver it away from palace
A photograph has been released by Buckingham Palace showing the King delivering his Christmas message again outside of traditional palace walls.
This year the annual address was filmed in the Lady Chapel inside Westminster Abbey, the second time the monarch has recorded it away from a royal residence.
The palace has revealed the abbey was chosen for the setting this year to reflect a major theme of the message, pilgrimage.
The Lady Chapel in Westminster Abbey, central London. Pic: PA
The full details of what he says are always kept secret until it is broadcast at 3pm on Christmas Day. The message is always seen as a deeply personal one from the monarch, as a rare speech delivered by the King without advice from, or consultation with, the government.
Westminster Abbey was seen as a perfect location to reflect the theme of pilgrimage with pilgrims visiting every year to remember the legacy of Edward the Confessor, whose shrine lies at the heart of the abbey. Around the walls of the Lady Chapel are 95 statues of saints dating from the building of the chapel in the 16th century.
Pic: PA
The abbey, as the site of the King’s own coronation and that of every monarch since 1066, also has royal significance. The Henry VII Lady Chapel is the burial place of 15 Kings and Queens including Elizabeth I, Mary I and Mary Queen of Scots. Below the central aisle is the Hanoverian vault where George II and members of his family are buried. The Stuart vault is in the south aisle where Charles II, William III and Mary II, and Queen Anne lie buried.
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It is understood the King takes a particular interest in where the message is filmed each year, favouring different locations outside of royal palaces over the past two years.
In the photograph, taken during filming, you can also see brightly lit Christmas trees used for another royal event in December. They were still inside the abbey following the filming of the Princess of Wales’s Together at Christmas carol service, which will be broadcast on Christmas Eve.
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