School kids asking for advice on strangulation during sex – as abuse victim issues warning
Schoolchildren are asking teachers how to strangle a partner during sex safely, a charity says, while official figures show an alarming rise in the crime related to domestic abuse cases.
Warning: This article contains references to strangulation, domestic abuse and distressing images.
It comes as a woman whose former partner almost strangled her to death in a rage has advised anyone in an abusive relationship to seek help and leave.
Bernie Ryan, chief executive of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation, has been running the charity since its inception in 2022 after non-fatal strangulation became a standalone offence.
“It’s the ultimate form of control,” she says.
She says perpetrators and victims are getting younger, while the reason is unclear, but strangulation has seeped into popular culture and social media.
“We hear lots of sex education providers, teachers saying that they’re hearing it in schools.
“We know teachers have been asked, ‘how do I teach somebody to strangle safely?’
“Our message is there is no safe way to strangle – the anatomy is the anatomy. Reduction in oxygen to the brain or blood flow will result in the same medical consequences, regardless of context.”
Bernie Ryan, CEO of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation
A recent review by Conservative peer Baroness Gabby Bertin recommended banning “degrading, violent and misogynistic content” online.
Violent pornography showing women being choked during sex she found was “rife on mainstream platforms”.
Ms Ryan says she “wants to make sure that young people don’t have access to activities that demonstrate that this is normal behaviour”.
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Strangulation is a violent act that is often committed in abusive relationships.
It is the second most common method used by men to kill women, the first is stabbing.
According to statistics shared by the Crown Prosecution Service, in 2024 there was an almost 50% rise in incidents of non-fatal strangulation and suffocation – compared to the year before.
Kerry Allan pleads for other victims of abuse to leave before it’s too late
Domestic abuse victim Kerry Allan has a message for anyone who is in an abusive relationship.
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022. While she said “at the beginning it was really good”, within months he became physically abusive.
In August last year her friends found his profile on a dating app.
“I confronted him and he denied it. I knew we were going to get into a big argument and I couldn’t face it, so I said I was going to my mum’s for a few days and take myself away from the situation.
“I came back a few days later and stupidly I agreed we could try again and everything escalated from that.”
Injuries to Kerry’s chest. Pic: CPS
In the early hours of 25 August the pair had come in from a night out at a concert and got into an argument.
“He was having a go at me, accusing me of flirting with other people, and I was angry. I told him he had a nerve after what he’d done to me in the week and how he humiliated me.
“I told him that I wanted to leave, that we were done and that I wanted to go to my mum’s and that’s when it got bad.
“He pinned me to the bed and that’s when he first strangled me.”
Kerry’s neck injury. Pic: CPS
Kerry says this was the first time she’d ever been violently assaulted. Cosgrove was eerily silent as he eventually let go and Kerry gasped for air.
“I remember trying to get my breath back, I was crying and hyperventilating… I was sick on the bedroom floor and I was asking him to go.”
Cosgrove strangled her for a second time before letting go again.
“He was saying I wasn’t getting out of this bedroom alive. I was dead tonight, he hoped that I knew that. Just kept saying how I’d ruined his life.”
Injury to Kerry’s eye. Pic: CPS
“I remember feeling a sort of shock thinking at this point, I’m not going to get out of this bedroom, he’s actually going to kill me.”
Kerry began screaming and shouting for help as loud as she could.
Her neighbours heard the commotion and called the police. While they were en route, Kerry was once again being assaulted.
Bleeding in Kerry’s eye
“I ran over to the bedroom window and tried to jump out, he grabbed me as I went to open the window, and we struggled. And then I was back in the same position, he was on top of me on the bed, and his hands were round the throat again. But this time it didn’t stop.
“I remember trying to struggle and trying to kick out and hit him and I just kept thinking that I definitely was going to die, because at this point, it wasn’t stopping.”
The next memory Kerry has is opening her eyes to see police and paramedics in the bedroom.
Michael Cosgrove. Pic: CPS
Cosgrove had heard the sirens, jumped out of the bedroom window and went to hide in Kerry’s car.
Kerry remembers opening her eyes to paramedics caring for her: “I remember thinking, I’m alive. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I was alive and I wasn’t dead. My last memory is him being on top of me with his hands on my throat.”
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022
She gives this advice to anyone who is in an abusive relationship: “Please speak to somebody, whether it’s friends, family, a work colleague, whether it’s somebody online, whether it’s a charity that you’re directed to, any sort of abuse is not okay.
“Whether it starts off emotional, they often start off that way, and they escalate, and they can escalate badly.
“Take what happened to me as a huge warning sign, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to be in the position I’ve been in the last eight months.”
Cosgrove was found guilty of attempting to murder Kerry and intentional strangulation.
He will be sentenced in July.
Negotiations to reset the UK’s post-Brexit relationship with the EU are going “to the wire”, a Cabinet Office minister has said.
“There is no final deal as yet. We are in the very final hours,” the UK’s lead negotiator Nick Thomas-Symonds told Sky’s Sunday Morning with Trevor Phillips.
On the possibility of a youth mobility scheme with the EU, he insisted “nothing is agreed until everything is”.
“We would be open to a smart, controlled youth mobility scheme,” he said. “But I should set out, we will not return to freedom of movement.”
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The government is set to host EU leaders in London on Monday.
Put to the minister that the government could not guarantee there will be a deal by tomorrow afternoon, Mr Thomas-Symonds said: “Nobody can guarantee anything when you have two parties in a negotiation.”
But the minister said he remained “confident” a deal could be reached “that makes our borders more secure, is good for jobs and growth, and brings people’s household bills down”.
“That is what is in our national interest and that’s what we will continue to do over these final hours,” he said.
“We have certainly been taking what I have called a ruthlessly pragmatic approach.”
On agricultural products, food and drink, Mr Thomas-Symonds said supermarkets were crying out for a deal because the status quo “isn’t working”, with “lorries stuck for 16 hours and food rotting” and producers and farmers unable to export goods because of the amount of “red tape”.
Asked how much people could expect to save on shopping as a result of the deal the government was hoping to negotiate, the minister was unable to give a figure.
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On the issue of fishing, asked if a deal would mean allowing French boats into British waters, the minister said the Brexit deal which reduced EU fishing in UK waters by a quarter over five years comes to an end next year.
He said the objectives now included “an overall deal in the interest of our fishers, easier access to markets to sell our fish and looking after our oceans”.
Turning to borders, the minister was asked if people would be able to move through queues at airports faster.
Again, he could not give a definitive answer, but said it was “certainly something we have been pushing with the EU… we want British people who are going on holiday to be able to go and enjoy their holiday, and not be stuck in queues”.
PM opens door to EU youth mobility scheme
A deal granting the UK access to a major EU defence fund could be on the table, according to reports – and Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer has appeared to signal a youth mobility deal could be possible, telling The Times that while freedom of movement is a “red line”, youth mobility does not come under this.
The European Commission has proposed opening negotiations with the UK on an agreement to facilitate youth mobility between the EU and the UK. The scheme would allow both UK and EU citizens aged between 18 and 30 years old to stay for up to four years in a country of their choosing.
Earlier this month, Home Secretary Yvette Cooper told Phillips a youth mobility scheme was not the approach the government wanted to take to bring net migration down.
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Lack of UK training ‘big driver of net migration’
When this was put to him, Mr Thomas-Symonds insisted any deal on a youth mobility scheme with Europe will have to be “smart” and “controlled” and will be “consistent” with the government’s immigration policy.
Asked what the government had got in return for a youth mobility scheme – now there had been a change in approach – the minister said: “It is about an overall balanced package that works for Britain. The government is 100% behind the objective of getting net migration down.”
Phillips said more than a million young people came to the country between 2004 and 2015. “If there isn’t a cap – that’s what we are talking about,” he said.
The minister insisted such a scheme would be “controlled” – but refused to say whether there would be a cap.
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‘It’s going to be a bad deal’
Shadow cabinet office minister Alex Burghart told Phillips an uncapped youth mobility scheme with the EU would lead to “much higher immigration”, adding: “It sounds very much as though it’s going to be a bad deal.”
Asked if the Conservatives would scrap any EU deal, he said: “It depends what the deal is, Trevor. And we still, even at this late stage, we don’t know.
“The government can’t tell us whether everyone will be able to come. They can’t tell us how old the young person is. They can’t tell us what benefits they would get.
“So I think when people hear about a youth mobility scheme, they think about an 18-year-old coming over working at a bar. But actually we may well be looking at a scheme which allows 30-year-olds to come over and have access to the NHS on day one, to claim benefits on day one, to bring their extended families.”
He added: “So there are obviously very considerable disadvantages to the UK if this deal is done in the wrong way.”
Jose Manuel Barroso, former EU Commission president, told Phillips it “makes sense” for a stronger relationship to exist between the European Union and the UK, adding: “We are stronger together.”
He said he understood fishing and youth mobility are the key sticking points for a UK-EU deal.
“Frankly, what is at stake… is much more important than those specific issues,” he said.
Gary Lineker is to leave the BBC after this season’s final Match Of The Day and will no longer present its coverage of the World Cup, Sky News understands.
It comes after he “apologised unreservedly” for a social media repost featuring a rat – used in propaganda by Nazi Germany to dehumanise Jewish people – and said he would “never knowingly share anything antisemitic”.
Lineker’s last appearance on the BBC will be on 25 May, the final day of the season, with confirmation expected on Monday.
The former England star announced in November he would step down from Match Of The Day this year, but was set to return to front the World Cup in 2026, as well as FA Cup coverage.
Lineker, 64, said he was unaware the post he shared was antisemitic and it went against “everything I believe in”.
In response to the presenter resharing the post, the Campaign Against Antisemitism said his “continued association with the BBC is untenable”.
And when asked about Lineker last week, BBC director general Tim Davie said: “When someone makes a mistake, it costs the BBC reputationally.”
The presenter was temporarily suspended from the BBC in March 2023 after an impartiality row over comments he made criticising the then Conservative government’s asylum policy.
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Lineker has hosted Match Of The Day since 1999 and has been the BBC’s highest-paid on-air talent for seven consecutive years. He also has a successful podcast production company.
Kelly Cates, Mark Chapman and Gabby Logan will share the role of presenting Match of the Day. Pic BBC/PA
Mark Chapman, Kelly Cates and Gabby Logan will take over the highlights show from next season.
When the trio take over as hosts, it will be the first time the role has been shared by three people.
Sky News has contacted the BBC for comment.
A teenager has been arrested after a 16-year-old boy died following reports of a “disturbance” at a beach in Ayrshire.
Kayden Moy was found seriously injured by officers at Irvine Beach at around 6.45pm on Saturday.
The teenager, from East Kilbride, South Lanarkshire, was taken to hospital but died in the early hours.
Police Scotland said on Sunday evening that a 17-year-old boy had been arrested and enquires were continuing.
Officers believe the incident may have been filmed and have urged witnesses and anyone with information to come forward.
Kayden. Pic: Facebook
The incident happened at Irvine Beach in Ayrshire, Scotland. File pic: iStock
Detective Chief Inspector Campbell Jackson said: “An extensive investigation is under way to establish the full circumstances surrounding this death.
“Our officers are supporting the boy’s family at this very difficult and heartbreaking time.
“From our investigation so far, we know there were a number of people on the beach around the time of the disturbance.
“We believe several of them were filming at the time and may have footage of what happened.
“I would urge people to review the footage they have and contact police if they think the footage captured could be of significance to our investigation.”
This can be submitted anonymously, the force said.
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Superintendent Jim McMillan added: “We understand this death will be of great concern for the local community, but please be assured that we are doing everything we can to identify those involved.
“There will be additional patrols in the area as we carry out our enquiries and anyone with any concerns can approach these officers.”
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