Schoolchildren are asking teachers how to strangle a partner during sex safely, a charity says, while official figures show an alarming rise in the crime related to domestic abuse cases.
Warning: This article contains references to strangulation, domestic abuse and distressing images.
It comes as a woman whose former partner almost strangled her to death in a rage has advised anyone in an abusive relationship to seek help and leave.
Bernie Ryan, chief executive of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation, has been running the charity since its inception in 2022 after non-fatal strangulation became a standalone offence.
“It’s the ultimate form of control,” she says.
She says perpetrators and victims are getting younger, while the reason is unclear, but strangulation has seeped into popular culture and social media.
“We hear lots of sex education providers, teachers saying that they’re hearing it in schools.
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“We know teachers have been asked, ‘how do I teach somebody to strangle safely?’
“Our message is there is no safe way to strangle – the anatomy is the anatomy. Reduction in oxygen to the brain or blood flow will result in the same medical consequences, regardless of context.”
Image: Bernie Ryan, CEO of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation
A recent review by Conservative peer Baroness Gabby Bertin recommended banning “degrading, violent and misogynistic content” online.
Violent pornography showing women being choked during sex she found was “rife on mainstream platforms”.
Ms Ryan says she “wants to make sure that young people don’t have access to activities that demonstrate that this is normal behaviour”.
Strangulation is a violent act that is often committed in abusive relationships.
It is the second most common method used by men to kill women, the first is stabbing.
According to statistics shared by the Crown Prosecution Service, in 2024 there was an almost 50% rise in incidents of non-fatal strangulation and suffocation – compared to the year before.
Image: Kerry Allan pleads for other victims of abuse to leave before it’s too late
Domestic abuse victim Kerry Allan has a message for anyone who is in an abusive relationship.
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022. While she said “at the beginning it was really good”, within months he became physically abusive.
In August last year her friends found his profile on a dating app.
“I confronted him and he denied it. I knew we were going to get into a big argument and I couldn’t face it, so I said I was going to my mum’s for a few days and take myself away from the situation.
“I came back a few days later and stupidly I agreed we could try again and everything escalated from that.”
Image: Injuries to Kerry’s chest. Pic: CPS
In the early hours of 25 August the pair had come in from a night out at a concert and got into an argument.
“He was having a go at me, accusing me of flirting with other people, and I was angry. I told him he had a nerve after what he’d done to me in the week and how he humiliated me.
“I told him that I wanted to leave, that we were done and that I wanted to go to my mum’s and that’s when it got bad.
“He pinned me to the bed and that’s when he first strangled me.”
Image: Kerry’s neck injury. Pic: CPS
Kerry says this was the first time she’d ever been violently assaulted. Cosgrove was eerily silent as he eventually let go and Kerry gasped for air.
“I remember trying to get my breath back, I was crying and hyperventilating… I was sick on the bedroom floor and I was asking him to go.”
Cosgrove strangled her for a second time before letting go again.
“He was saying I wasn’t getting out of this bedroom alive. I was dead tonight, he hoped that I knew that. Just kept saying how I’d ruined his life.”
Image: Injury to Kerry’s eye. Pic: CPS
“I remember feeling a sort of shock thinking at this point, I’m not going to get out of this bedroom, he’s actually going to kill me.”
Kerry began screaming and shouting for help as loud as she could.
Her neighbours heard the commotion and called the police. While they were en route, Kerry was once again being assaulted.
Image: Bleeding in Kerry’s eye
“I ran over to the bedroom window and tried to jump out, he grabbed me as I went to open the window, and we struggled. And then I was back in the same position, he was on top of me on the bed, and his hands were round the throat again. But this time it didn’t stop.
“I remember trying to struggle and trying to kick out and hit him and I just kept thinking that I definitely was going to die, because at this point, it wasn’t stopping.”
The next memory Kerry has is opening her eyes to see police and paramedics in the bedroom.
Image: Michael Cosgrove. Pic: CPS
Cosgrove had heard the sirens, jumped out of the bedroom window and went to hide in Kerry’s car.
Kerry remembers opening her eyes to paramedics caring for her: “I remember thinking, I’m alive. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I was alive and I wasn’t dead. My last memory is him being on top of me with his hands on my throat.”
Image: Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022
She gives this advice to anyone who is in an abusive relationship: “Please speak to somebody, whether it’s friends, family, a work colleague, whether it’s somebody online, whether it’s a charity that you’re directed to, any sort of abuse is not okay.
“Whether it starts off emotional, they often start off that way, and they escalate, and they can escalate badly.
“Take what happened to me as a huge warning sign, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to be in the position I’ve been in the last eight months.”
Cosgrove was found guilty of attempting to murder Kerry and intentional strangulation.
England are in Group L along with Croatia, Panama and Ghana. Their first match will be against Croatia, who beat them in the semi-finals of the 2018 World Cup in Russia.
Image: Pic: Reuters
Scotland’s first match will be against Haiti, in Group C.
Brazil and Morocco are the other Group C teams – both countries were also in the same opening group as Scotland in the 1998 World Cup in France.
Image: Trump and Infantino at the World Cup draw
Wales have yet to find out if they will qualify as they must face a play-off against Bosnia and Herzegovina in Cardiff, and then either Italy or Northern Ireland, if they are victorious.
If they can overcome these play-off opponents then they will secure their place in Group B along with Canada, Qatar and Switzerland. But Northern Ireland will also be vying and hoping to guarantee their spot in the same group if they can beat Italy and then either Wales or Bosnia and Herzegovina.
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‘Bring it on!’: Scotland fans react to World Cup draw
The Republic of Ireland also need to get through the play-offs first and are paired against the Czech Republic for their semi-final. Should Ireland win that match, they will need to beat either North Macedonia or Denmark to get to the finals where an opening group containing joint hosts Mexico, South Africa and South Korea awaits.
This was a World Cup draw like no other. Crafted less for the teams but for one man.
The choice of venue. The creation of a new trophy. The closing music act.
Donald Trump was lavished with the adulation he craves by FIFA President Gianni Infantino and feels others unfairly deny him.
Knowing how much being overlooked by the Nobel Committee hurt the US president, there was Mr Infantino with FIFA’s newly-created Peace Prize to hand over. And a medal for Mr Trump to wear.
“This is truly one of the great honours of my life,” he said. “And beyond awards, Gianni and I were discussing this. We saved millions and millions of lives.”
This was all on the stage in front of an audience who turned up to find out who they will be playing at the World Cup.
England handed an undaunting route past Croatia, Panama and Ghana. Scotland paired with newcomers Haiti before tricky reunions from their last men’s World Cup in 1998 against Brazil and Morocco.
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Image: Pic: Reuters
But the show before the draw could even begin – presided over by Rio Ferdinand – took almost as long as a football match, at 87 minutes after the noon kick-off was delayed.
There was a walk of self-promotion to complete – “I guess they have to wait” – before taking his seat in the Kennedy Center. Or the Trump Kennedy Center as the president takes to calling the venue picked 1.5 miles from the White House.
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England manager Thomas Tuchel reacts to draw
“It was falling apart,” he said, delaying the walk into the auditorium. “And now it’s, it’s pretty much back.”
Mr Infantino could only watch on, beaming, at his friend.
“We had a dead country,” Mr Trump went on, “and now we have the hottest country anywhere in the world”.
There was the awkwardness of being reminded, before receiving the peace accolade, about threats to launch military strikes on Venezuela to stop the drugs trade.
“I did settle eight wars, and we have a ninth coming,” he swatted away the question. “Which nobody’s ever done before. But I want to really save lives. I don’t need prizes.”
But FIFA knew how much he wanted more gold for the collection with the prize.
Image: Donald Trump and FIFA president Gianni Infantino. Pic: Reuters
Image: Pic: Reuters
And for all the mockery and disdain targeted at FIFA, how many sports would relish having the US president spend several hours attending a procedural event determining the placing of teams in groups for a tournament?
How many would dish out the same flattery to secure direct lines to the leader of the nation staging their championship?
Many have benefited from Mr Trump’s stardust and swagger being attached to this spectacle.
Even Port Vale’s most famous fan – Robbie Williams – secured a walk-on role, exceeding his profile this side of the Pond.
And the Village People are reaping the rewards of becoming the unlikeliest of Trump hype acts.
The festivities ended with eyes fixed back up to the presidential seating and the YMCA dance being performed.
This was an afternoon that dispelled any pretence that FIFA keeps a distance from politics. It was unapologetically political. But few speak out in the FIFA world as the redistributed wealth keeps rolling back in their direction.
It would be easy to forget this isn’t entirely America’s World Cup. They’re sharing hosting with Canada and Mexico.
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‘Bring it on!’: Scotland fans react to World Cup draw
And eventually the spotlight was ceded to their leaders – very briefly – as Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum and Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney drew out their countries’ names.
But it did live up to FIFA’s mantra that football can unite the world.
The neighbours were brought together here on a snowy day in Washington. And tensions – often stoked by Mr Trump with Canada and Mexico – thawed in the name of football.
Meghan Markle has “reached out” to her estranged father after reports he had his leg amputated, her spokesperson has said.
Thomas Markle, 81, reportedly had his leg amputated following surgery in the Philippines, where he moved to this year.
Meghan has been estranged from her father since around the time of her wedding to Prince Harry in May 2018.
Mr Markle, a retired television lighting director and director of photography, made headlines across the globe after he was caught staging paparazzi photographs in the days ahead of the ceremony.
A spokesperson for the Duchess of Sussex said: “I can confirm she has reached out to her father.”
Meghan is said to have previously tried to reach out to him in the past.
Mr Markle has never met his grandchildren Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet.
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At the start of this year, Mr Markle told of how he dreamed of bringing his “whole family together” and wished his daughter “no ill-will”.
“The truth is I couldn’t get over the fact that that had happened. All that stuff was working on me, I had a bit of a heart condition.
“This pushed me a little further to the part where I had heart palpitations. I had to drive at 2am to a hospital. They sent me to another little hospital and then they sent me to a bigger hospital and I had a heart attack.”
A day-and-a-half later he said he felt better and checked himself out against doctors’ wishes in a bid to make it to the wedding, but the heart palpitations returned when he got home, which at the time was in Mexico.
“At that time I started getting chest pains and I said I have to cancel because I didn’t take care of the heart problem before. I had a good friend take me back to a hospital across the border to the States where I was told that my condition was very bad and they had to operate, and I had heart surgery.”