‘I lost my father to suicide’: Schoolgirl’s assembly on the hardest of subjects
Evie likes scary movies, musicals and Taylor Swift – but there is something that sets her apart.
The 16-year-old hates the way other children at school casually joke about suicide.
“People saying things like ‘I’m going to kill myself if I have to sit another maths test’, you’d be surprised how often people say things like that,” Evie Roodhouse tells me.
“People don’t understand the seriousness, saying they are ‘depressed’ as if it’s a positive thing. I think it’s become even a trend that some people think is cool or funny.”
Evie and younger sister Ada lost their father in 2018, and what they rarely tell anyone is that was suicide. However, Evie’s approach to this deeply personal subject is about to change. She has decided to give a school assembly on the subject.
Evie, Ada and their dad
Eight-year-old sister Ada supports Evie’s decision and has experienced her own frustrations: “She [Evie] gets people joking about it,” says Ada, “In my school I just get people, like, complaining about their parents being gone for a week, say on holiday, especially their dad. ‘My dad’s going to this place for a week, and I won’t get to see him.’ ‘Oh he’s not here on Father’s Day.’ Or, ‘he’ll be away for a whole month, that’s almost as much as you.’ – It’s not. It’s really not.”
It’s entirely understandable that, up until now, Evie has been extremely private around the cause of her father’s death. Her presentation on the subject for a room of her peers at Brighton Hill Community School in Basingstoke, would surely be one of the most courageous school assemblies ever given.
The night before, I met up with Evie along with Mother Caroline and sister Ada. “This is the first time I’ve openly shared my own personal experience, my story so that’s where the nerves are coming in,” Evie says as we get on to the subject of her presentation.
Evie speaks to Sky’s Jason Farrell
Her previous experience of confiding in friends is that their response varies between asking invasive questions, wanting details that Evie doesn’t want to share, or they feel awkward and change the subject. What Evie wants is for people to be able to talk about the subject and understand how to talk about it, especially if they themselves are struggling.
“With mental health we know that opening up and talking about it is the best thing you can do,” she says. “I think we understand ourselves better if we talk about our mental health. Communication is the best way around the stigma.”
However, this conversation around Evie’s home dining table is going to take us to some dark places, and it occurs to me how difficult it must have been for Caroline to explain what happened, to her young children. Did she have a choice? Could she have invented some other form of death to protect them from the truth?
Caroline explains her decision to tell them. “I had no idea Steve was going to take his own life. On the day I found out, luckily a friend of mine contacted an amazing charity called Winston’s Wish and they gave me some important advice, and that was honesty.
“However, uncomfortable that was, however brutal that was at the time. I’m grateful for that advice – because it’s meant that we’ve always had trust between us.”
Ada and mum Caroline
Suicide rates in the UK have remained roughly the same for the last two decades, although the 7,055 deaths recorded in 2023 was the highest rate since 1999.
Men are three times more likely to take their own lives, and with Evie and Ada’s father there was no warning and no note to explain why.
Caroline says loss by suicide is “grief with a microphone”. One of the hardest things for her to manage has been her feeling of abandonment.
“I wanted to talk to Steve, and he’s the person responsible for not being here. Trying to get your head round the fact that, yes, they took their own life, but they weren’t in a rational state at that point in time, but then you’re feeling angry at the same time. It’s tiring. It’s exhausting.”
Eight-year-old Ada picks up: “You don’t blame them for being sad – but you’re also angry that they are not here.”
“…And that they didn’t tell you that they were struggling,” adds Caroline.
“They act all happy and fine. It’s quite unusual,” says Ada.
“It doesn’t make sense, does it?” offers Caroline. It is just a glimpse into the impossible conversations, the heartbreak and tears this family has endured.
Photographs of Steve with his children tell of a loving husband and father, hugging his children close, taking pride in his girls and valuing his precious time with them.
Evie tries to explain her own feelings on this, “Rather than someone being taken away from you – that person’s chosen to take themselves away from you.”
“They don’t want to be with you,” says Ada.
Evie picks up: “There’s sadness that they must have been struggling – but you made that decision. You must have thought whatever you had going on, was a bigger deal than me needing a father in my life, and that’s been a big thing for me.”
But Caroline has a consoling thought – a moment she says that changed everything. “It wasn’t that long ago maybe last year I was asked a question that completely knocked me off my feet – and took away most of my anger. I was asked by somebody – ‘What do you think Steve would say if he could come back and speak to you, right now.'”
“And my response to that, knowing what an amazing person he was, is that he would say ‘sorry’ and he didn’t want to cause us any pain. And in that moment imagining him saying ‘sorry’ – took away all my anger.”
Then she adds, “The problem is that replaces the anger with sadness.”
Evie hates when other pupils joke about suicide
There is a deep chasm in the room. They will never know why. There are no answers. No clues and no way to change that. The profound complexity of emotions is something anyone would struggle with, yet both children Evie have found ways of coping.
“You have the first couple of years of feeling – ‘this is going to be my life now this is how I’m going to feel…’ says Evie. Her emotions break through, she pauses to compose herself then determinedly finishes her point. “…and I think being able to move past that and understand that you are not defined by that loss – and you are more than the person who took themselves away from you – and you are stronger.”
The next day as the assembly loomed Evie emitted quiet confidence. Mum Caroline came to watch and said she felt protective but at the same time “unbelievably proud”.
Evie gives her presentation at assembly
What then happened was an extraordinary 20 minutes. Around 80 children watched the presentation, which included a thought-provoking animated film that Evie helped to create. She told the room how she lost her father to suicide in 2018 when she was nine years old and warned, “When you hear someone joking about something that has completely turned your world around it can be so hurtful.”
She also had sage advice on where teenagers can get help themselves, listing school provision and organisations outside of school such as Childline and the Samaritans.
Research recently published by the Mental Health Foundation found a third of young people accessed self-harm content online and the theme this year’s Mental Health Awareness week was community. Evie’s presentation couldn’t have been more appropriate.
She told her peers: “Unfortunately, in my experience the people who don’t talk about it, the people who keep their emotions down and don’t want to speak about those feelings are the people who we lose thorough suicide.”
Headmaster of Brighton Hill Community School, Chris Edwards
Caroline was right to be proud and so too was headmaster of Brighton Hill Community School, Chris Edwards. He said afterwards: “I bang on about this quite a lot – the younger generation – and the press that they get does not match the depiction that I see day in day out.
“They are phenomenal – and the assembly we’ve seen today which Evie ran was one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in my career. Not just because she was able to tackle a subject that’s very difficult to her, but to do it to her peers is doubly difficult. And I was also proud of the way the children responded.”
It is rare this subject is talked about, and it must be done sensitively. Evie gave a masterclass in how to do it.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
Britain has “lost control” of its borders over the last five years, the defence secretary told Sky News after the highest number of migrants this year crossed the Channel.
John Healey told Sunday Morning With Trevor Phillips the previous Conservative government left the UK’s asylum system “in chaos” and the country with “record levels of immigration”, which his government is having to deal with.
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On Saturday, 1,194 migrants arrived in the UK on 18 small boats, government figures showed – the highest number of arrivals in a day so far this year (the previous record was 825 on a day in May).
It brings the provisional total for 2025 so far to 14,811 – the highest ever recorded for the first five months in a year and the highest total for the first six months of the year, which was previously 13,489 on 30 June last year.
2025’s total so far is 42% higher than the same point last year (10,448), and 95% up from the same point in 2023 (7,610).
The highest daily total since data began in 2018 remains at 1,305 on 3 September 2022.
Migrants were seen scrambling to get on small boats in the shallows of a beach at Gravelines, France, on Saturday. Pic: PA
On Saturday, French police watched on while people, including children, boarded small boats in the shallows of a beach in Gravelines, between Calais and Dunkirk.
Authorities were then pictured escorting the boats as they sailed off towards the UK.
Mr Healey said: “Pretty shocking, those scenes yesterday.
“Truth is, Britain’s lost control of its borders over the last five years, and the last government last year left an asylum system in chaos and record levels of immigration.”
He said it is a “really big problem” that French police are unable to intervene to intercept boats in shallow waters.
Migrants waited for the boats to come to the beach before wading in to the shallows to board. Pic: PA
“We saw the smugglers launching elsewhere and coming around like a taxi to pick them up,” Mr Healey added.
He said the UK is pressing for the French to put new rules into operation so they can intervene.
“They’re not doing it, but for the first time for years, for the first time, we’ve got the level of cooperation needed,” Mr Healey said.
“We’ve got the agreement that they will change the way they work, and our concentration now is to push them to get that into operation so they can intercept these smugglers and stop these people in the boats, not just on the shore.”
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Migrants waited on the beach at Gravelines before boarding boats to the UK. Pic: PA
People waded through the shallows to get on small boats. Pic: PA
On Saturday, Conservative shadow home secretary Chris Philp accused Labour of having “completely lost control of our borders”.
The Home Office released figures on Thursday that revealed France is intercepting fewer Channel migrants than ever before, despite signing a £480m deal with the UK to stop the crossings.
French police watched on as migrants boarded the boats in the water at Gravelines. Pic: PA
French authorities escorted the boats after they left the beach. Pic: PA
This year, French police have prevented just over 38% (8,347) of asylum seekers from reaching the UK in small boats, with 13,167 having made the journey successfully.
They stopped an estimated 45% last year and 47% in 2023.
New weapons factories will be built “very soon” to show Vladimir Putin the UK is “stepping up our deterrents”, the defence secretary has told Sky News.
Last night, the government announced at least six new arms plants as part of a £6bn push to rearm at a time of growing threats.
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No details on timings or where the factories would be were provided ahead of the publication of the government’s strategic defence review, which the £6bn investment will be part of, on Monday.
But Defence Secretary John Healey told Sunday Morning With Trevor Phillips: “We should expect to see new factories opening very soon.
“And we’ve already got strong munitions factories in every part of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
“The investment we’re making will boost the jobs in those areas as well.”
Mr Healey said Vladimir Putin should know the UK is stepping up its deterrents. Pic: Sputnik/AP
Asked whether Russian President Vladimir Putin should be “frightened now” or in the future, Mr Healey said: “The message to Putin is we take our defence seriously, we’re stepping up our deterrents.”
The government also announced it would buy up to 7,000 long-range missiles, rockets and drones as part of the £6bn rearmament strategy.
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Mr Healey said he has “no doubt” defence spending will hit 3% of GDP in the next parliament.
He defended not trying to get to that in this parliament – by 2029 – and said: “It’s how much [is spent on defence], but also how you spend it.”
The defence secretary said his government is showing a sense of urgency by investing £1bn into cyber warfare capabilities, £1.5bn to improve forces’ housing over the next five years and a £6bn commitment to “rearm” over the next five years.
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Finding extra cash to get to 3% this parliament seems unlikely
John Healey says the “transformation” of Britain’s armed forces and the industrial base needed to keep them supplied with weapons to be set out in tomorrow’s strategic defence review will be affordable within the government’s existing defence spending plans.
That’s a timetable which will see 2.3% of GDP increase to 2.5% by 2027, with an “ambition” to ratchet up to 3% in the next parliament, if economic circumstances allow.
Mr Healey’s repeated assertion this weekend that he has “no doubt” the UK will be spending 3% within the next parliament clearly puts pressure on the Treasury to stump up the cash.
Today, he was at pains to clarify that this optimism is based on his confidence in the chancellor and growth returning to the UK economy.
But even translating this ambition into a concrete commitment would only see 3% by 2034 – in nine years. There’s an obvious tension between this leisurely timescale and the sabre-rattling urgency of the government’s messaging.
Writing in the Sun on Sunday, the prime minister promised to “restore Britain’s war fighting readiness”, warning “we are being directly threatened by states with advanced military forces”.
Mr Healey told Sir Trevor Phillips the idea is to send a message to Vladimir Putin that “we take our defence seriously”.
But he also couldn’t give an exact date when the six new munitions factories would be up and running.
The Conservatives and Liberal Democrats are both calling for 3% to be reached within this parliament. But in a landscape of planned spending cuts – and with so many competing demands for money – finding any extra cash any time soon looks highly unlikely.
Robert Jenrick said he could not be sure the chancellor will allow 3% of GDP to be spent on defence
Senior Conservative Robert Jenrick told Trevor Phillips he welcomed “any extra investment in defence” and the fact Labour had reaffirmed the UK’s commitment to spending 2.5% of GDP on defence.
However, he said: “We want to see the UK reach 3% within this parliament, we think that 2034 is a long time to wait, given the gravity of the situation.”
He called Mr Healey “a good man” who is “doing what needs to be done in the national interest”.
But he added: “I am sceptical as to whether Rachel Reeves, the chancellor, is going to make good on these promises.
“Since the general election, all I can see are broken promises from Rachel Reeves.”
The UK will buy up to 7,000 long-range missiles, rockets and drones and build at least six weapons factories in a £1.5bn push to rearm at a time of growing threats.
The plan, announced by the government over the weekend, will form part of Sir Keir Starmer’s long-awaited Strategic Defence Review, which will be published on Monday.
However, it lacks key details, including when the first arms plant will be built, when the first missile will be made, or even what kind of missiles, drones and rockets will be purchased.
The government is yet to appoint a new senior leader to take on the job of “national armaments director”, who will oversee the whole effort.
Andy Start, the incumbent head of Defence Equipment and Support – the branch of defence charged with buying kit – is still doing the beefed-up role of national armaments director as a sluggish process to recruit someone externally rumbles on.
Sir Keir Starmer and Volodymyr Zelenskyy at a presentation of Ukrainian military drones. Pic: Reuters
Revealing some of its content ahead of time, the Ministry of Defence said the defence review will recommend an “always on” production capacity for munitions, drawing on lessons learned from Ukraine, which has demonstrated the vital importance of large production lines.
It will also call for an increase in stockpiles of munitions – something that is vitally needed for the army, Royal Navy and Royal Air Force to be able to keep fighting beyond a few days.
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“The hard-fought lessons from [Vladimir] Putin’s illegal invasion of Ukraine show a military is only as strong as the industry that stands behind them,” John Healey, the defence secretary, said in a statement released on Saturday night.
“We are strengthening the UK’s industrial base to better deter our adversaries and make the UK secure at home and strong abroad.”
Army Commandos load a 105mm Howitzer in Norway. Pic: Ministry of Defence/PA
The UK used to have a far more resilient defence industry during the Cold War, with the capacity to manufacture missiles and other weapons and ammunition at speed and at scale.
However, much of that depth, which costs money to sustain, was lost following the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, when successive governments switched funding priorities away from defence and into areas such as health, welfare and economic growth.
Even after Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine in 2022 and a huge increase in demand from Kyiv for munitions from its allies, production lines at UK factories were slow to expand.
A reaper drone in the Middle East. Pic: Ministry of Defence
Sky News visited a plant run by the defence company Thales in Belfast last year that makes N-LAW anti-tank missiles used in Ukraine. Its staff at the time only worked weekday shifts between 7am and 4pm.
Under this new initiative, the government said the UK will build at least six new “munitions and energetics” factories.
Energetic materials include explosives, propellants and pyrotechnics, which are required in the manufacturing of weapons.
There were no details, however, on whether these will be national factories or built in partnership with defence companies, or a timeline for this to happen.
There was also no information on where they would be located or what kind of weapons they would make.
King Charles visits HMS Prince of Wales. Pic: PO Phot Rory Arnold/Ministry of Defence/PA
In addition, it was announced that the UK will buy “up to 7,000 UK-built long-range weapons for the UK Armed Forces”, though again without specifying what.
It is understood these weapons will include a mix of missiles, rockets and drones.
Sources within the defence industry criticised the lack of detail, which is so often the case with announcements by the Ministry of Defence.
The sources said small and medium-sized companies in particular are struggling to survive as they await clarity from the Ministry of Defence over a range of different contracts.
One source described a sense of “paralysis”.
The prime minister launched the defence review last July, almost a year ago. But there had been a sense of drift within the Ministry of Defence beforehand, in the run-up to last year’s general election.
The source said: “While the government’s intentions are laudable, the lack of detail in this announcement is indicative of how we treat defence in this country.
“Headline figures, unmatched by clear intent and delivery timelines which ultimately leave industry no closer to knowing what, or when, the MOD want their bombs and bullets.
“After nearly 18 months of decision and spending paralysis, what we need now is a clear demand signal from the Ministry of Defence that allows industry to start scaling production, not grand gestures with nothing to back it up.”
As well as rearming the nation, the government said the £1.5bn investment in new factories and weapons would create around 1,800 jobs across the UK.
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