‘My world crumbled’: The teenage girl who found out her dad was a child sex offender
Ava was heading home from Pizza Hut when she found out her dad had been arrested.
Warning: This article includes references to indecent images of children and suicide that some readers may find distressing
It had been “a really good evening” celebrating her brother’s birthday.
Ava (not her real name) was just 13, and her brother several years younger. Their parents had divorced a few years earlier and they were living with their mum.
Suddenly Ava’s mum, sitting in the front car seat next to her new boyfriend, got a phone call.
“She answered the phone and it was the police,” Ava remembers.
“I think they realised that there were children in the back so they kept it very minimal, but I could hear them speaking.”
“I was so scared,” she says, as she overheard about his arrest.
‘Ava’ says she was ‘repulsed’ after discovering what her dad had done
“I was panicking loads because my dad actually used to do a lot of speeding and I was like: ‘Oh no, he’s been caught speeding, he’s going to get in trouble.'”
But Ava wasn’t told what had really happened until many weeks later, even though things changed immediately.
“We found out that we weren’t going to be able to see our dad for, well we didn’t know how long for – but we weren’t allowed to see him, or even speak to him. I couldn’t text him or anything. I was just wondering what was going on, I didn’t know. I didn’t understand.”
Ava’s dad, John, had been arrested for looking at indecent images of children online.
We hear this first-hand from John (not his real name), who we interviewed separately from Ava. What he told us about his offending was, of course, difficult to hear.
His offending went on for several years, looking at indecent images and videos of young children.
His own daughter told us she was “repulsed” by what he did.
But John wanted to speak to us, frankly and honestly.
He told us he was “sorry” for what he had done, and that it was only after counselling that he realised the “actual impact on the people in the images” of his crime.
By sharing his story, he hopes to try to stop other people doing what he did and raise awareness about the impact this type of offence has – on everyone involved, including his unsuspecting family.
John tells us he’d been looking at indecent images and videos of children since 2013.
“I was on the internet, on a chat site,” he says. “Someone sent a link. I opened it, and that’s what it was.
“Then more people started sending links and it just kind of gathered pace from there really. It kind of sucks you in without you even realising it. And it becomes almost like a drug, to, you know, get your next fix.”
John says he got a “sexual kick” from looking at the images and claims “at the time, when you’re doing it, you don’t realise how wrong it is”.
‘I told them exactly what they would find’
At the point of his arrest, John had around 1,000 indecent images and videos of children on his laptop – some were Category A, the most severe.
Referencing the counselling that he since received, John says he believes the abuse he received as a child affected the way he initially perceived what he was doing.
“I had this thing in my mind,” he says, “that the kids in these were enjoying it.”
“Unfortunately, [that] was the way that my brain was wired up” and “I’m not proud of it”, he adds.
John had been offending for several years when he downloaded an image that had been electronically tagged by security agencies. It flagged his location to police.
John was arrested at his work and says he “straight away just admitted everything”.
“I told them exactly what they would find, and they found it.”
The police bailed John – and he describes the next 24 hours as “hell”.
“I wanted to kill myself,” he remembers. “It was the only way I could see out of the situation. I was just thinking about my family, my daughter and my son, how is it going to affect them?”
But John says the police had given information about a free counselling service, a helpline, which he called that day.
“It stopped me in my tracks and probably saved my life.”
‘John’ thinks children of abusers should get more support
‘My world was crumbling around me’
Six weeks later, John was allowed to make contact with Ava.
By this point she describes how she was “hysterically crying” at school every day, not knowing what had happened to her dad.
But once he told her what he’d done, things got even worse.
“When I found out, it genuinely felt like my world was crumbling around me,” Ava says.
“I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. I was so embarrassed of what people might think of me. It sounds so silly, but I was so scared that people would think that I would end up like him as well, which would never happen.
“It felt like this really big secret that I just had to hold in.”
“I genuinely felt like the only person that was going through something like this,” Ava says.
She didn’t know it then, but her father also had a sense of fear and shame.
“You can’t share what you’ve done with anybody because people can get killed for things like that,” he says.
“It would take a very, very brave man to go around telling people something like that.”
And as for his kids?
“They wouldn’t want to tell anybody, would they?” he says.
For her, Ava says “for a very, very long time” things were “incredibly dark”.
“I turned to drugs,” she says. “I was doing lots of like Class As and Bs and going out all the time, I guess because it just was a form of escape.
“There was a point in my life where I just I didn’t believe it was going to get better. I really just didn’t want to exist. I was just like, if this is what life is like then why am I here?”
Professor Armitage says children of abusers should be legally recognised as victims
‘The trauma is huge for those children’
Ava felt alone, but research shows this is happening to thousands of British children every year.
Whereas suspects like John are able to access free services, such as counselling, there are no similar automatic services for their children – unless families can pay.
Professor Rachel Armitage, a criminology expert, set up a Leeds-based charity called Talking Forward in 2021.
It’s the only free, in-person, peer support group for families of suspected online child sex offenders in England. But it does not have the resources to provide support for under-18s.
“The trauma is huge for those children,” Prof Armitage says.
“We have families that are paying for private therapy for their children and getting in a huge amount of debt to pay for that.”
Prof Armitage says if these children were legally recognised as victims, then if would get them the right level of automatic, free support.
It’s not unheard of for “indirect” or “secondary” victims to be recognised in law.
Currently, the Domestic Abuse Act does that for children in a domestic abuse household, even if the child hasn’t been a direct victim themselves.
In the case of children like Ava, Prof Armitage says it would mean “they would have communication with the parents in terms of what was happening with this offence; they would get the therapeutic intervention and referral to school to let them know that something has happened, which that child needs consideration for”.
We asked the Ministry of Justice whether children of online child sex offenders could be legally recognised as victims.
“We sympathise with the challenges faced by the unsuspecting families of sex offenders and fund a helpline for prisoners’ families which provides free and confidential support,” a spokesperson said.
But when we spoke with that helpline, and several other charities that the Ministry of Justice said could help, they told us they could only help children with a parent in prison – which for online offences is, nowadays, rarely the outcome.
None of them could help children like Ava, whose dad received a three-year non-custodial sentence, and was put on the sex offenders’ register for five years.
“These children will absolutely fall through the gap,” Prof Armitage says.
“I think there’s some sort of belief that these families are almost not deserving enough,” she says. “That there’s some sort of hierarchy of harms, and that they’re not harmed enough, really.”
‘Ava’ started taking drugs after her dad’s arrest and ‘didn’t want to exist’
‘People try to protect kids from people like me’
Ava says there is simply not enough help – and that feels unfair.
“In some ways we’re kind of forgotten about by the services,” she says. “It’s always about the offender.”
John agrees with his daughter.
“I think the children should get more support than the offender because nobody stops and ask them really, do they?” he says.
“Nobody thinks about what they’re going through.”
Although Ava and John now see each other, they have never spoken about the impact that John’s offending had on his daughter.
Ava was happy for us to share with John what she had gone through.
“I never knew it was that bad,” he says. “I understand that this is probably something that will affect her the rest of her life.
“You try to protect your kids, don’t you. People try to protect their kids from people like me.”
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
A council has won its bid to temporarily block asylum seekers from being housed at a hotel in Essex.
Epping Forest District Council sought an interim injunction to stop migrants from being accommodated at the Bell Hotel in Epping, which is owned by Somani Hotels Limited.
A government attempt to delay the application was rejected by the High Court judge earlier on Tuesday.
The interim injunction now means the hotel has to be cleared of its occupants within 14 days.
Somani Hotels said it intended to appeal the decision.
Several protests have been held outside the hotel in recent weeks after an asylum seeker housed there was charged with sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl.
Hadush Gerberslasie Kebatu, 38, was charged with trying to kiss a teenage girl and denies the allegations. He is due to stand trial later this month.
Police officers ahead of a demonstration outside The Bell Hotel in July. Pic: PA
At a hearing last week, barristers for the council claimed Somani Hotels breached planning rules because the site is not being used for its intended purpose as a hotel.
Philip Coppel KC, for the council, said the problem was “getting out of hand” and “causing great anxiety” to local people.
He said the hotel “is no more a hotel [to asylum seekers] than a borstal to a young offender”.
File pic: PA
Piers Riley-Smith, for Somani Hotels Limited, said a “draconian” injunction would cause “hardship” for those in the hotel, arguing “political views” were not grounds for an injunction to be granted.
He also said contracts to house asylum seekers were a “financial lifeline” for the hotel, which was only 1% full in August 2022, when it was open to paying customers.
Protesters and counter-demonstrators outside The Bell Hotel in July. Pic: PA
The hotel housed migrants from May 2020 to March 2021, then from October 2022 to April 2024, with the council never instigating any formal enforcement proceedings against this use, Mr Riley-Smith said.
They were being placed there again in April 2025 and Mr Riley-Smith said a planning application was not made “having taken advice from the Home Office”.
At the end of the hearing last week, Mr Justice Eyre ordered that Somani Hotels could not “accept any new applications” from asylum seekers to stay at the site until he had made his ruling on the temporary injunction.
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TikTok and Instagram have been accused of targeting teenagers with suicide and self-harm content – at a higher rate than two years ago.
The Molly Rose Foundation – set up by Ian Russell after his 14-year-old daughter took her own life after viewing harmful content on social media – commissioned analysis of hundreds of posts on the platforms, using accounts of a 15-year-old girl based in the UK.
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The charity claimed videos recommended by algorithms on the For You pages continued to feature a “tsunami” of clips containing “suicide, self-harm and intense depression” to under-16s who have previously engaged with similar material.
One in 10 of the harmful posts had been liked at least a million times. The average number of likes was 226,000, the researchers said.
Mr Russell told Sky News the results were “horrifying” and showed online safety laws are not fit for purpose.
Molly Russell died in 2017. Pic: Molly Rose Foundation
‘This is happening on PM’s watch’
He said: “It is staggering that eight years after Molly’s death, incredibly harmful suicide, self-harm, and depression content like she saw is still pervasive across social media.
“Ofcom’s recent child safety codes do not match the sheer scale of harm being suggested to vulnerable users and ultimately do little to prevent more deaths like Molly’s.
“The situation has got worse rather than better, despite the actions of governments and regulators and people like me. The report shows that if you strayed into the rabbit hole of harmful suicide self-injury content, it’s almost inescapable.
“For over a year, this entirely preventable harm has been happening on the prime minister’s watch and where Ofcom have been timid it is time for him to be strong and bring forward strengthened, life-saving legislation without delay.”
Ian Russell says children are viewing ‘industrial levels’ of self-harm content
After Molly’s death in 2017, a coroner ruled she had been suffering from depression, and the material she had viewed online contributed to her death “in a more than minimal way”.
Researchers at Bright Data looked at 300 Instagram Reels and 242 TikToks to determine if they “promoted and glorified suicide and self-harm”, referenced ideation or methods, or “themes of intense hopelessness, misery, and despair”.
They were gathered between November 2024 and March 2025, before new children’s codes for tech companies under the Online Safety Act came into force in July.
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What are the new online rules?
The Molly Rose Foundation claimed Instagram “continues to algorithmically recommend appallingly high volumes of harmful material”.
The researchers said 97% of the videos recommended on Instagram Reels for the account of a teenage girl, who had previously looked at this content, were judged to be harmful.
Some 44% actively referenced suicide and self-harm, they said. They also claimed harmful content was sent in emails containing recommended content for users.
A spokesperson for Meta, which owns Instagram, said: “We disagree with the assertions of this report and the limited methodology behind it.
“Tens of millions of teens are now in Instagram Teen Accounts, which offer built-in protections that limit who can contact them, the content they see, and the time they spend on Instagram.
“We continue to use automated technology to remove content encouraging suicide and self-injury, with 99% proactively actioned before being reported to us. We developed Teen Accounts to help protect teens online and continue to work tirelessly to do just that.”
TikTok
TikTok was accused of recommending “an almost uninterrupted supply of harmful material”, with 96% of the videos judged to be harmful, the report said.
Over half (55%) of the For You posts were found to be suicide and self-harm related; a single search yielding posts promoting suicide behaviours, dangerous stunts and challenges, it was claimed.
The number of problematic hashtags had increased since 2023; with many shared on highly-followed accounts which compiled ‘playlists’ of harmful content, the report alleged.
A TikTok spokesperson said: “Teen accounts on TikTok have 50+ features and settings designed to help them safely express themselves, discover and learn, and parents can further customise 20+ content and privacy settings through Family Pairing.
“With over 99% of violative content proactively removed by TikTok, the findings don’t reflect the real experience of people on our platform which the report admits.”
According to TikTok, they not do not allow content showing or promoting suicide and self-harm, and say that banned hashtags lead users to support helplines.
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‘A brutal reality’
Both platforms allow young users to provide negative feedback on harmful content recommended to them. But the researchers found they can also provide positive feedback on this content and be sent it for the next 30 days.
Technology Secretary Peter Kyle said: “These figures show a brutal reality – for far too long, tech companies have stood by as the internet fed vile content to children, devastating young lives and even tearing some families to pieces.
“But companies can no longer pretend not to see. The Online Safety Act, which came into effect earlier this year, requires platforms to protect all users from illegal content and children from the most harmful content, like promoting or encouraging suicide and self-harm. 45 sites are already under investigation.”
An Ofcom spokesperson said: “Since this research was carried out, our new measures to protect children online have come into force.
“These will make a meaningful difference to children – helping to prevent exposure to the most harmful content, including suicide and self-harm material. And for the first time, services will be required by law to tame toxic algorithms.
“Tech firms that don’t comply with the protection measures set out in our codes can expect enforcement action.”
Peter Kyle has said opponents of the Online Safety Act are on the side of predators. Pic: PA
‘A snapshot of rock bottom’
A separate report out today from the Children’s Commissioner found the proportion of children who have seen pornography online has risen in the past two years – also driven by algorithms.
Rachel de Souza described the content young people are seeing as “violent, extreme and degrading”, and often illegal, and said her office’s findings must be seen as a “snapshot of what rock bottom looks like”.
More than half (58%) of respondents to the survey said that, as children, they had seen pornography involving strangulation, while 44% reported seeing a depiction of rape – specifically someone who was asleep.
The survey of 1,020 people aged between 16 and 21 found that they were on average aged 13 when they first saw pornography. More than a quarter (27%) said they were 11, and some reported being six or younger.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
There is one thing scarier than markets lurching around. And that’s markets lurching around without a very compelling explanation.
Just yesterday, the yield on the government’s 30-year bonds – the best measure out there of the UK government’s long-term cost of borrowing – closed at the highest level since 1998, not long after Oasis released the album Be Here Now. Indeed, the yields on pretty much all UK government debt has been creeping up in recent weeks, though not all are back to Britpop era levels.
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In some senses, this looks very odd indeed. After all, the Bank of England just cut interest rates. In normal circumstances, you would expect measures of borrowing costs to be falling across the board. But clearly these are not normal times.
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‘Is the Bank worried about recession risk?’
All of which raises the question: is this a UK-specific phenomenon? Are markets singling out Britain for particular concern, much as they did after Liz Truss’s notorious mini-budget? Actually, there are more questions on top of that one. For instance, is this all about Rachel Reeves’s recent woes, and her need to find another £20bn, give or take, to make her sums add up? Are investors fretting about the Bank of England’s inflation-fighting credibility, given its cutting rates even as prices rise?
The short answer, I’m afraid, is that no one really knows. But a glance at a few metrics can at least provide a bit of context.
The first thing to note is that while government borrowing costs in the UK are up, they have also been rising in other leading economies. The UK, it’s worth saying, is a bit of an outlier with higher yields than in fellow G7 nations. But that’s not exactly a new thing: it’s been the case since the mini-budget. But the UK is a particularly ugly duckling in a lake full of them.
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Are taxes going to rise?
Indeed, look at other nations, and you see that Britain’s budgetary challenges are hardly unique. The US and France have ballooning budget deficits which are rising rapidly. Most European nations have pledged enormous increases in military spending to satisfy Donald Trump’s demands of NATO.
And over the Atlantic, the US administration has just committed to a sweeping set of generous fiscal measures, under its One Big Beautiful Bill Act. Even Elon Musk has voiced concerns about what this means for the deficit (which is set to continue rising ad infinitum, at least on paper).
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All of which brings us to the broader, possibly scarier, lesson. There are signs afoot that while G7 nations could depend for decades on other surplus countries – most notably China and other Asian countries – buying vast amounts of their debt in recent years, that might no longer be the case. In short, even as rich countries borrow like crazy, it’s becoming less clear who will lend them the money.
That’s an enormous conundrum, and not good news for anyone.
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