‘Disturbing’ rise in abusive teen relationships – as experts warn of signs to look out for
Marnie’s first serious relationship came when she was 16-years-old.
Warning: This article contains references to strangulation, coercive control and domestic abuse.
She was naturally excited when a former friend became her first boyfriend.
But after a whirlwind few months, everything changed with a slow, determined peeling away of her personality.
“There was isolation, then it was the phone checking,” says Marnie.
As a survivor of abuse, we are not using her real name.
“When I would go out with my friends or do something, I’d get constant phone calls and messages,” she says.
“I wouldn’t be left alone to sort of enjoy my time with my friends. Sometimes he might turn up there, because I just wasn’t trusted to just go and even do something minor like get my nails done.”
The internet is said to be helping to fuel a rise in domestic abuse among teens. Pic: iStock
He eventually stopped her from seeing friends, shouted at her unnecessarily, and accused her of looking at other men when they would go out.
If she ever had any alone time, he would bombard her with calls and texts; she wasn’t allowed to do anything without him knowing where she was.
He monitored her phone constantly.
“Sometimes I didn’t even know someone had messaged me.
“My mum maybe messaged to ask me where I was. He would delete the message and put my phone away, so then I wouldn’t even have a clue my mum had tried to reach me.”
The toll of what Marnie experienced was only realised 10 years later when she sought help for frequent panic attacks.
She struggled to comprehend the damage her abuser had inflicted when she was diagnosed with PTSD.
This is what psychological abuse and coercive control looks like.
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‘His hands were on my throat – he didn’t stop’
Young women and girls in the UK are increasingly falling victim, with incidents of domestic abuse spiralling among under-25s.
Exclusive data shared with Sky News, gathered by domestic abuse charity Refuge, reveals a disturbing rise in incidents between April 2024 and March 2025.
Psychological abuse was the most commonly reported form of harm, affecting 73% of young women and girls.
Of those experiencing this form of manipulation, 49% said their perpetrator had threatened to harm them and a further 35% said their abuser had threatened to kill them.
Among the 62% of 16-25 year olds surveyed who had reported suffering from physical violence, half of them said they had been strangled or suffocated.
Earlier this year, Sky News reported that school children were asking for advice on strangulation, but Kate Lexen, director of services at charity Tender, says children as young as nine are asking about violent pornography and displaying misogynistic behaviour.
Kate Lexen, director of services at charity Tender
“What we’re doing is preventing what those misogynistic behaviours can then escalate onto,” Ms Lexen says.
Tender has been running workshops and lessons on healthy relationships in primary and secondary schools and colleges for over 20 years.
Children as young as nine ‘talking about strangulation’
Speaking to Sky News, Ms Lexen says new topics are being brought up in sessions, which practitioners and teachers are adapting to.
“We’re finding those Year 5 and Year 6 students, so ages 9, 10 and 11, are talking about strangulation, they’re talking about attitudes that they’ve read online and starting to bring in some of those attitudes from some of those misogynistic influencers.
“There are ways that they’re talking about and to their female teachers.
“We’re finding that from talking to teachers as well that they are really struggling to work out how to broach these topics with the students that they are working with and how to make that a really safe space and open space to have those conversations in an age-appropriate way, which can be very challenging.”
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Hidden domestic abuse deaths
Charities like Tender exist to prevent domestic abuse and sexual violence.
Ms Lexen says without tackling misogynistic behaviours “early on with effective prevention education” then the repercussions, as the data for under 25s proves, will be “astronomical”.
At Refuge, it is already evident. Elaha Walizadeh, senior programme manager for children and young people, says the charity has seen a rise in referrals since last year.
Elaha Walizadeh, senior programme manager for children and young people at Refuge
“We have also seen the dynamics of abuse changing,” she adds. “So with psychological abuse being reported, we’ve seen a rise in that and non-fatal strangulation cases, we’ve seen a rise in as well.
“Our frontline workers are telling us that the young people are telling them usually abuse starts from smaller signs. So things like coercive control, where the perpetrators are stopping them from seeing friends and family. It then builds.”
Misogyny to violent behaviour might seem like a leap.
But experts and survivors are testament to the fact that it is happening.
Victims of child sexual exploitation are “not explicitly within the scope” of the Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy being drafted by the government, Sky News can reveal.
Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation (CSEA) is a form of child abuse, described by police as a “critical threat” to women and girls.
It includes crimes such as grooming, and can involve both physical contact, such as rape, or non-physical – like forcing children to look at sexual images.
Sky News has been shown an internal Home Office document presented to various stakeholders in the sector.
Screenshot detailing strategy
It’s titled “Scope of the Strategy… Our draft definition of VAWG”, and says that while it recognises “links” between VAWG and child sexual exploitation, it is not “explicitly within the scope of the strategy”.
“VAWG is Violence Against Women and Girls. If you take child sexual abuse out of it, where are the girls?” Poppy Eyre told Sky News.
Poppy was sexually abused and raped by her grandfather when she was four.
It wasn’t until she was 11, after a PHSE lesson on abuse at school, that she understood the enormity of what had happened.
“I remember very vividly when the police came round and told me… this is what we’re charging him with,” said Poppy.
“We’re charging him with sexual abuse and rape. And I remember being like, I had no idea that’s what it was, but I know that’s really bad.”
Poppy Eyre was sexually abused and raped by her grandfather when she was four
Poppy’s grandfather was convicted and died in prison.
She questions how authorities would police crime if child sexual abuse is excluded from an umbrella strategy to tackle violence against women and girls.
“Are they holding child sexual abuse at the same level of importance as they are with violence against women? You’d hope so, but potentially not, because it doesn’t need to be in the figures”, she said.
‘Are they holding child sexual abuse at the same level of importance?’ asks Poppy
The government has pledged to halve VAWG within a decade, by 2035.
“If the government are measuring themselves against halving violence against women and girls – if they’re not looking at the scale of child sexual abuse and child sexual exploitation within that – that will mean we are failing many young victims of abuse,” said Andrea Simon, director of campaign group End Violence Against Women.
The Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse, which is funded by the Home Office, estimates 500,000 children in England and Wales are sexually abused every year.
‘Danger’ of having separate plan
Rape Crisis told Sky News that “for any strategy to be effective” it “must include all forms of gender-based violence against all women and girls”, suggesting there is a “danger” in having a separate plan for child sexual abuse.
Its chief executive, Ciara Bergman, said it could create a “problematic and potentially very unhelpful” distinction between victims of domestic abuse, expected to be covered by the strategy, and child sexual abuse.
“Some perpetrators of domestic abuse also sexually abuse their children,” she told Sky News.
The government insists the strategy will include action to tackle child sexual abuse, but says it also plans to create a distinctive programme to address its specific crimes.
Poppy’s mother Miranda Eyre says she’s ‘speechless’ and ‘angry’ over the government’s approach
“Sexual abuse is violence against a child,” said Poppy’s mother, Miranda Eyre, who now works as a counsellor specialising in trauma.
“It is violence against girls… and you can’t separate it out,” she said. “I’m speechless to be honest… it does make me quite angry.”
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A Home Office spokesperson told Sky News it is “working tirelessly to tackle the scourges of violence against women and girls and child sexual abuse”.
“These issues are complex and run deep within the fabric of society,” they added.
“The government wholly recognises that they overlap. But it also recognises that concerted action is needed to tackle child sexual abuse which is why we have set out a range of actions… and why we are launching a national inquiry into grooming gangs.”
A British veteran has spoken about how he witnessed Japan’s wartime surrender up close as a 20-year-old sailor.
Reg Draper was off Japan’s coast on the HMS Duke of York when the captain announced the war was ending.
Recalling that moment – 80 years ago today – he said cheers went up from the battleship’s crew.
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Why is it important to mark VJ Day?
Mr Draper saw the Japanese sign the agreement on USS Missouri when he went on board to help his friend, who was the ship’s photographer.
“All the ships mustered in Tokyo Bay with the USS Missouri, which was the American ship, and it was on the Missouri where they signed the peace treaty,” the 100-year-old recalled.
“Then we all came back down to Australia and we went and celebrated – we went down to Tasmania and everybody had four days leave in Hobart.
“Everybody wanted to take us to their home and there were a couple of dances in the dance hall.”
Mr Draper still has a photo showing the peace deal being signed. Pic: Royal British Legion/PA
Mr Draper got a letter recognising his presence at the surrender. Pic: Royal British Legion/PA
Mr Draper, who grew up in Leeds, was a stores assistant on the Duke of York after volunteering on his 18th birthday.
His duties included rationing out the rum so all the sailors could get their 11am hit. He said senior crew got theirs neat while everyone else had theirs watered down.
He also recalled being clattered by Prince Philip after the Queen’s future husband, who was on a destroyer escorting his ship, came aboard.
A view looking out over the HMS Duke of York. Pic: AP
Mr Draper met Prince Philip again in the 70s – but the hockey wasn’t mentioned. Pic: Royal British Legion/PA
“We used to have deck hockey on the quarter deck and it was murder playing deck hockey,” said Mr Draper.
“He [Philip] knocked me over once and then the next time he came round he hit me, there’s still a mark there, he gave me a clout with his hockey stick.
“He came to see me just to see how I was. They just put a stitch in and it was alright.”
The pair met again in 1972 when Mr Draper was training sea cadets for the Duke of Edinburgh awards.
He said Philip noticed his medals and recalled escorting the ship – but didn’t mention the hockey game.
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Hiroshima survivor describes moment of blast
Mr Draper’s time on the Duke of York included Arctic convoys to deliver supplies to Russia and sailing to Sydney, Australia, in 1945 before joining the East Indies Fleet.
“We started going up to the islands, kicking the Japanese out of the islands as we went,” he recalled.
Japan surrendered after the US dropped two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, on 6 and 9 August.
Read more:
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Mr Draper now lives in Elton in Cheshire. Pic: PA
Mr Draper turned 21 on the trip back to Europe and said 2,000 people were on board as they had picked up prisoners of war.
He went on to become an insurance salesman and said he’s planning to watch today’s 80th anniversary commemorations from his home in Elton, Cheshire.
The King released an audio message in which he said the sacrifices of VJ Day veterans should “never be forgotten”.
He described how the heroic actions of those sent to fight in the Far East, as well as the brutal treatment of civilians, “reminds us that war’s true cost extends beyond battlefields, touching every aspect of life”.
The King will issue a warning that the sacrifices of the VJ Day veterans should “never be forgotten” as they “gave us more than freedom; they left us the example of how it can and must be protected”.
In an audio message, due to be released on Friday morning to mark 80 years since the end of the Second World War in the Far East, King Charles will describe how the heroic actions of those sent to fight there and the brutal treatment of civilians “reminds us that war’s true cost extends beyond battlefields, touching every aspect of life”.
In what could be interpreted as him alluding to current world events and conflicts, he will emphasise the importance of international collaboration, saying that victory in 1945 demonstrated that “in times of war and in times of peace, the greatest weapons of all are not the arms you bear but the arms you link”.
Pic: PA
The six-minute audio message to the Nation, Realms and Commonwealth to mark VJ Day, echoes the audio broadcast made by his grandfather, King George VI, which the King will reference.
He recorded it in the Morning Room at Clarence House earlier this month.
Victory over Japan (VJ Day) was declared on 15 August 1945, following Imperial Japan’s surrender to Allied Forces.
With Victory in Europe (VE Day) declared in May 1945, some have felt that historically VJ Day has been overlooked, undervaluing the sacrifices of those who continued to fight on for another three months.
In his message, the King will say that the service and sacrifice of those who fought and died in the Pacific and Far East “shall never be forgotten”.
He will also refer to the experience endured by prisoners of war and to the innocent civilians of occupied lands in the region.
Read more:
UK veteran, 100, recalls witnessing Japan’s Second World War surrender
Survivors’ relatives pledge to make Nagasaki last ever atomic bomb site
My grandmother survived world’s deadliest air raid
King Charles and Queen Camilla will also publicly mark the anniversary by attending a national service of remembrance at the National Memorial Arboretum in Staffordshire.
The service, run in partnership with the Royal British Legion, will be attended by Burma Star recipients, a veteran of the British Indian Army and those involved in the Battles of Kohima and Imphal.
Prisoners of war held across the region and veterans stationed in the UK or Commonwealth countries who contributed to the war effort will also attend. A two-minute national silence will be held at midday.
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