I hear your laugh And look up smiling at you I run and run Past the pumpkin patch And the tractor rides
Look now, the sky is gold I hug your legs And fall asleep on the way home I don’t know why all the trees change in the fall But I know you’re not scared of anything at all
— “The Best Day,” Taylor Swift
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located beneath the pile of regret RSVP cards at Rece Davis’ house because his daughter scheduled a fall wedding, now that October has arrived, we know exactly where you will all have been this week. Standing in line with us, waiting for the store to open at midnight Oct. 3 to sell us the first copies of Tay-Tay’s new album, “The Life of a Showgirl.”
Yes, this week the World’s Most Famous Chiefs Fan Not Named Ant-Man drops her new batch of songs, but we also know that as the Bottom 10 faithful camp out on the sidewalk, they will be listening to another playlist of sweet tunes. I’m speaking of the fight songs of Sam Houston, We Have a Problem on Thursday night. Then, the Charlotte 1-and-3’ers, San No-sé State and Colora-duh State on Friday night. All programs that are in their own “Era” of writing “Bottom 10’s Version” of their “Reputation” for “Evermore.”
And while we watch those games, at some point we will realize that it isn’t “1989” and we no longer have to be in line to buy a new record. Or buy records at all. We can download them to our phones. Or as we call them here in the B10CU, the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe, our pocket computers.
With apologies to the Taylor University Trojans, former Nebraska wide receiver Nate Swift and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 5 Bottom 10 rankings.
The Bearkats kruised through their skheduled open date and now koncentrate on krossing the Rio Grande for a kontest kounter to New Mexiko State, who were just konquered by New Mexiko in Albukuerkue.
Have you seen that meme of Cookie Monster drumming his fingers on the table, impatiently waiting to go bonkers on a yet-to-arrive tray of cookies? Yeah, that’s us, waiting for the Oct. 11 Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of the Century Mega Bowl, when the Minutemen travel to face State of Kent, who are 1-3 after taking the week off. But before that, UMass hosts Western Not Eastern Michigan, while Kent will be getting run over by the Sooner Schooner like a snake trying to cross an Oklahoma freeway.
In Westwood, they said bye to their coach, then they had a bye week, then they lost at Bottom 10 Wait Listers Northworstern, then they raced USC back to Los Angeles, both wondering why they said bye to having all those games closer to home in the league they said bye to too.
Speaking of the Artist Formerly Known But Soon To Be Known Again As The Pac-12, the Beavers became the nation’s first five-loss team after a near-win over undefeated Houston Not Sam Houston. Now they travel east to face Appalachian State in Boone, North Carolina, where I once camped with the Boy Scouts and had all of our food stolen by actual beavers.
There are those who might try to convince you that Penn State’s White Out didn’t work the night they played Oregon, but it did. Watch James Franklin’s postgame news conference when he was asked about his record against top-10 teams. He totally used virtual Wite-Out to paint over the word “narrative” and change it to “factual.”
I was roasted over mesquite, and rightfully so, for omitting Oklahoma State from these rankings one week ago after it lost to Living On Tulsa Time at home and then fired Mike “I’m a man! I’m 58!” Gundy. It was a mistake. I was in denial. But I was snapped out of that trance of disbelief by all of the DMs and texts from Stillwater phone numbers saying that I had to have Oklahoma State in here this week or lose all credibility, including one from what my caller ID listed as “Gundy, M.”
The Spartans Not Trojans are one of a whopping four Mountain West teams stuck at 1-3, but won, er, lost out for this spot over the other three because: A. They actually played a game last weekend; 3. They lost the Pillow Fight of the Week to neighbor and fellow Bottom 10 Waiting Lister Stanfird by one point; and fifthly, they can probably sneak up on New Mexico this weekend because the Lobos have spent all week with upset tummies after spending a week eating from college football’s new greatest rivalry trophy, the Chile Roaster.
I feel very strongly that we as a nation aren’t making a big enough deal out of this new chile roaster trophy for New Mexico-New Mexico State. pic.twitter.com/ls0s5X1ETA
The Other Other Huskies are one of a whopping six #MACtion team stuck at 1-and-something, but won, er, lost out for this spot over the other five because: 1. They actually played a game last weekend; C. They lost to San Diego State, which isn’t terrible, but the final score of the game was 6-3; and secondly, we wanted a chance to hype this week’s Pillow Fight of the Week, when they host My Hammy of Ohio, which is now 1-3 after beating Lindenwood, a school you’ve never heard of unless you are a big Pierre Desir fan.
The Red Wolves are one of a not-as-whopping but still not small three Fun Belt teams stuck at 1-and-something, but won, er, lost out for this spot over the other two because: I. They actually played last weekend; IV. They lost to our old friends and former Bottom 10 stalwart ULM (pronounced “uhlm”); and XL. That Week 2 loss to now-head coach-less Arkansaw by 42 points is aging about as well as that bottle of gas station chardonnay that I accidentally left under the seat of my truck all summer.
My hometown team is one of a totally-not-whopping-but-still-seems-like-a-lot-for-one-conference-after-only-one-month-of-football three Just American teams stuck at 1-and-something, but won, er … OK, yeah … I’m tired of this bit too. Almost as tired as the Niners fans will be of watching US(not C)F run up and down the field on Friday night. The good news? Shortly after the game ends, they can ease their pain by listening to Tay’s new album.
Waiting list: State of Kent, UTEPid, Muddled Tennessee State, Northworstern, FA(not I)U, Bah-stan Cawledge, Clempson, Flori-duh, Georgia State Not Southern, Colora-duh State, No-vada, Stanfird, My Hammy of Ohio, South Alabama Redundancies, Give Me Liberty Or Give Me 1-4, Akronmonious, Baller State, a college football world without Sam Pittman in it.
CLEVELAND — How far can a team go by repeatedly dancing away from a season-ending precipice? The Cleveland Guardians are determined to find out.
The Guardians, boosted by a five-run eighth-inning outburst that began with an unlikely home run from Brayan Rocchio, beat the Detroit Tigers6-1 on Wednesday to force a decisive Game 3 in the AL Wild Card Series.
In many ways, it was fitting that Rocchio ignited the season-saving rally because the trajectory of his rags-to-riches season has been in lockstep with the team around him. And, yes, the blast was unlikely, but unlikely is where the Guardians seem to be most comfortable.
“We always say we try to always play without pressure,” Rocchio said through the team’s interpreter. “That’s our type of ball. We just play and we realize we’re going to play until the last out. Even if we’re down by 10, we’ll know we’ll continue to try to play that type of ball.”
For seven innings, the Guardians and Tigers engaged in the kind of low-scoring, close game that frustrates hitters and thrills pitchers alike. For Cleveland, the frustration came from an inability to do much of anything after George Valera‘s first-inning home run. Through seven frames, Cleveland had just two hits and five baserunners overall.
For Detroit, the frustration was very different. The Tigers stranded 15 baserunners for the game. One Cleveland pitcher after another managed to wriggle out of trouble, usually with an inning-ending strikeout.
“It was a tough day,” Tigers manager A.J. Hinch said. “Obviously, they made the most of their opportunities and we left 15 guys on. I think that paints the picture that was today.”
The score was tied 1-1 entering the Cleveland half of the eighth. With one out, Rocchio stepped to the dish against Detroit fireballer Troy Melton.
“Just velo and the plus stuff,” Hinch said when asked why he went with Melton in that situation. “We needed to extend the game.”
Melton might have been the least of Rocchio’s problems. The afternoon shadows make things miserable for the hitters, with Guardians manager Stephen Vogt noting that in those conditions, batters simply can’t pick up the spin on a pitch, making everything look more or less like a fastball.
Rocchio got an actual fastball from Melton, a four-seamer in the heart of the plate that registered at 99.9 mph, per Statcast. The sheer velocity of the pitch was the first thing that made Rocchio’s homer so unlikely. According to ESPN Research, only Oscar Mercado, in a 2020 regular-season game, had gone deep on a pitch that fast for Cleveland over the past decade.
Rocchio connected and sent a shot toward right field. But even so, a home run still seemed very unlikely thanks to a howling wind that had been blowing in from that direction and played havoc with fly balls all afternoon.
“Funny enough, when the game started, I was thinking with this wind, we have to put the ball on the ground, try to get ground balls,” Rocchio said. “When I get that mindset to get the ball on the ground is when I get better and better results.”
Indeed, the ball settled into the right-field seats, giving Cleveland the lead and sparking an offensive surge capped by Bo Naylor‘s three-run blast later in the inning.
But forget the conditions — the shadows, the wind, the pitcher — and just think how unlikely it was that Rocchio was there, taking a high-leverage at-bat in a postseason elimination game.
Rocchio struggled so badly early this season that he spent six weeks at Triple-A despite helping the Guardians to the 2024 AL Central title and becoming a Gold Glove finalist at shortstop.
When Rocchio did return to the majors, his club was on its way to digging a 15½-game hole beneath Detroit in the AL Central. Nevertheless, there they were in Game 2, Rocchio and the Guardians, getting a postseason win in a season that has at various times been on life support.
“I think it’s important to just understand that we’re here for a reason,” Naylor said. “We’re here because we trust the guys that are in that clubhouse at our side.”
The Tigers won’t be daunted by their Game 2 loss, though they will join the Guardians in facing an elimination game Thursday. But if experience in playing with your back against the wall means anything, that edge has to go to a Guardians squad that has been there for three months.
“This is who we are,” Vogt said. “Couldn’t be more proud of our guys. Back against the wall. Back’s still against the wall tomorrow. We’ll come out ready to go and so will they. It will be another dogfight tomorrow. I guarantee it.”
Jackson Merrill hit an early sacrifice fly as San Diego avoided elimination after losing 3-1 on Tuesday. Dylan Cease struck out five in 3 2/3 innings before handing the ball to his team’s hard-throwing bullpen.
The finale of the best-of-three series is back at Wrigley Field on Thursday.
The playoff-tested Padres are looking for a repeat of 2020, when they dropped Game 1 in the special pandemic wild-card round before advancing with two straight victories against St. Louis. Machado also homered in Game 2 of that series.
Chicago finished with four hits. The franchise is making its first appearance in the playoffs in five years, and it hasn’t advanced since it eliminated Washington in a 2017 NL Division Series.
San Diego jumped in front on Merrill’s flyball to right off Andrew Kittredge in the first, driving in Fernando Tatis Jr. Kittredge started for Chicago as an opener, and the right-hander was replaced by left-hander Shota Imanaga in the second.
The Cubs threatened in the fourth, putting runners on first and second with two down. Adrian Morejon then came in and retired Pete Crow-Armstrong on a bouncer to first.
The Padres added two more runs on Machado’s 404-foot drive to left off Imanaga in the fifth. Tatis reached on a leadoff walk and advanced on a sacrifice ahead of Machado’s 12th career playoff homer.
The three runs were more than enough for San Diego’s bullpen, with Miller and Robert Suarez combining for 14 pitches of over 100 mph.
Morejon pitched 2 1/3 perfect innings before Miller showed off his electric stuff while striking out five consecutive batters. The 6-foot-5 right-hander reached 104.5 mph on a called third strike to Carson Kelly in the seventh that was the fastest pitch in the postseason since Statcast started tracking in 2008.
Miller, who was acquired in a trade with the Athletics on July 31, struck out the side in the seventh in his postseason debut on Tuesday. The eight straight Ks tied the postseason record set by Josh Hader in 2022.
Miller was pulled from Game 2 after he hit Michael Busch with a slider with two oust in the eighth. Suarez retired Nico Hoerner on a liner to right before a one-hit ninth for the save.
Up nextYu Darvish will get the ball for San Diego on Thursday. There was no immediate word on Chicago’s starter.
Darvish played for the Cubs for three seasons before he was traded to the Padres in December 2020. The right-hander said he enjoys pitching at Wrigley.
“Yeah, this place did me good,” he said through a translator. “The organization, the fans did me good, too.”
AMES, Iowa — No. 14 Iowa State‘s secondary will be without longtime starters Jontez Williams and Jeremiah Cooper for the rest of the season because of knee injuries.
Coach Matt Campbell announced Tuesday that Williams damaged the ACL in his right knee late in the Cyclones’ 39-14 win over Arizona on Saturday. Cooper tore his ACL in practice last week. The two have combined for 55 starts.
Williams, an Associated Press All-Big 12 second-team pick in 2024, had one interception and two pass breakups this season. He was hurt with three minutes left against Arizona as he dove in an attempt to knock a ball away from a receiver.
“So that’s a situation that really stinks for the kid,” Campbell said. “But man, just how he’s handled it has been uber impressive. And a great human. He’ll be back ready to rock and roll next year.”
Cooper has made 36 starts since 2022 and was an AP All-Big 12 first-team pick at safety in 2023. He switched to cornerback full time this season and had an interception and three pass breakups through four games.
Tre Bell, a transfer from Lindenwood, made his first start for the Cyclones in Cooper’s place against Arizona. Quentin Taylor Jr., who played 26 snaps against Arizona, would be in line to make his first start when the Cyclones (5-0, 2-0 Big 12) visit Cincinnati (3-1, 1-0) on Saturday.