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Inspirational thought of the week:

I’ve got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore

How could anybody ask for more?
My needs are small, I buy ’em all
At the five and ten cent store
Oh, I’ve got plenty to be thankful for

— Bing Crosby, “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For”

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the back of the plane Jesse Palmer lives in as he jets between college football games and the 37 reality shows he hosts, we never pass up a chance to express how thankful we are.

Thankful for the likes of R.O.C.K. in the U-T-S-A, Georgia State Not Southern, the New Mexico State Other Aggies, Arkansaw State and unLv, all of which were fighting for Bottom 10 titles seemingly only a few minutes ago but now are all going bowling and some are fighting for conference titles. They all feel like that surprisingly great Thanksgiving dish, the casserole prepared by that weird hippie your cousin married after they met at a furry convention. She slow-cooked a bunch of random ingredients that no one thought would work but it is totally delicious, especially when it finally finds its way into a bowl.

But we are also thankful for those teams that are still with us. The ones that have never forgotten their Bottom 10 roots and are held down by those roots as if they were battleship chains. On the Turkey Day table, they are the thing your Uncle Lonnie found in the back of his ice box, kept in a recycled Country Crock tub and labeled only with a scribbled blue magic marker, illegibly stating that it is either a “donut treat” or warning “do not eat.” It smells strange. It’s way too brown. But hey, it’s Thanksgiving and ol’ Lonnie, he could use a win. As could we all.

With apologies to Uncle Lonnie, SMU tight end Lonnie Johnson, Georgia Southern D-lineman Lonnie Leverette, Western Kentucky linebacker Lonnie Rice and Steve Harvey, here’s the Week 13 Bottom 10.


1. State of Kent (1-10)

Nick Saban’s alma mater became the nation’s first 10-loss team via its 34-3 nail-biter at Baller State. Now the Golden Flashes host Northern Ill-ugh-noise as a 19-point home dog. In related news, my home dog is expected to gain 19 pounds Thursday as I secretly feed her the “donut treat” under the Thanksgiving table.

2. ULM (pronounced ‘UHLM’) (2-9)

Ulm, the Warhawks have run their, ulm, losing streak to nine games after, ulm, starting the year 2-0. Now they, ulm, travel down to Louisiana not Louisiana-Monroe for, ulm, the Battle of the Bayou, which, ulm, if ulm, I mean, er, I’m being honest, I didn’t know was called that until just, ulm, now.

3. Akronmonious (2-9)

Fun fact: Before Terry Bowden took the job at ULM, he was the head coach at Akron. Which isn’t really a fun fact unless you are the pharmacist selling Bowden his ulcer medications.

4. UCan’t (2-9)

The Huskies have made a late run back to their once-familiar bottom rung of these rankings thanks to a pair of losses by a combined score of 103-9. Not even a confessional booth date 31-3 victory over Sacred Heart was enough to move them out of the top/bottom four, nor was it enough to avoid us labeling their matchup this weekend as the New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week. Against who? Or whom? Or whomever? Keep reading …

5. James, mad as … son (10-1)

Sources tell Bottom 10 JortsCenter that James Madison officials are now petitioning the NCAA to change its bylaws to say any overtime loss at home on the same day you’ve hosted “College GameDay” and gotten everyone all lathered up to support your initial NCAA petition to get a bowl berth doesn’t count.

6. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-9)

The good news is Vandy finally avoided a loss in the midst of its nine-game losing streak. The bad news is it’s only because it had a bye week. The worse news is it still didn’t cover the spread.

7. No-vada (2-9)

The Woof Pack opened the season 0-6. Then they won two in a row. Now they’ve lost three straight. It’s the best roller coaster in the state this side of the one bolted to the top of the Stratosphere in Vegas that constantly looks like it will fall off and land in the middle of Circus Circus.

8. Sam Houston, we have a problem (2-9)

The Bearkats rekonnected with their krummy outkomes by kurbing a konsecutive wins streak kompliments of a loss to Konference USA kompetitor Western Kentucky. They have only one kontest remaining on their kalendar. That’s kool with me bekause this replacing c’s with k’s konceit has been kinda overkooked for weeks.

9. EC-Yew (2-9)

East Carolina lost to Navy 10-0, marking the first time an ECU team was held scoreless in 26 years, but certainly not the first time a group of Carolina-based pirates was caught off guard by the Navy. Sorry, Blackbeard, too soon?

10. UMess (3-8)

The Minuetmen return to these rankings after a long in-season absence just in time for that New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week we teased earlier, against their old pals from down Route 32, UConn. UMass opened the season with a win over New Mexico State and followed that with a 45-point loss to Auburn. But New Mexico State just crushed Auburn 31-10. So, naturally, if UMass beats UConn then they should play Auburn, which is coached by Hugh Freeze, who left Liberty last year and Liberty is the team that just beat UMass. Can I get a thumbs up? Preferably from a press box hospital bed?

Waiting list: San Diego Stank, Southern Missed, Living on Tulsa Time, Temple of Doom, Charlotte 3-and-8ers, covering sweet potatoes with walnuts.

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Rays’ Franco charged with gun possession in D.R.

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Rays' Franco charged with gun possession in D.R.

SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic — Tampa Bay Rays shortstop Wander Franco, who’s currently on trial on charges including sexual abuse of a minor, was charged Sunday with illegal possession of a handgun, prosecutors said.

Franco was arrested Nov. 10 in San Juan de la Maguana after an altercation in a parking lot. No one was injured during the fight, and the handgun, a semiautomatic Glock 19, was found in Franco’s vehicle, according to a statement from the Dominican Public Prosecutor’s Office.

The handgun was registered in the name of Franco’s uncle, prosecutors said in the statement. After the arrest, Antonio Garcia Lorenzo, one of Franco’s lawyers, said that because the gun was licensed, “there’s nothing illegal about it.”

Prosecutors requested that Franco stand trial on the gun charge.

When reached by ESPN on Sunday night, the Rays said they had no comment on the matter.

The 24-year-old Franco’s trial in the sexual abuse case — involving a girl who was 14 years old at the time of his alleged crimes — is ongoing. The charges in that case include sexual abuse of a minor, sexual and commercial exploitation against a minor, and human trafficking.

According to prosecutors, Franco kidnapped the girl for sexual purposes and “sent large sums of money to her mother.”

Franco, who is on supervised release, faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted.

Franco was playing his third major league season when his career was halted in August 2023 because of the allegations. He agreed to an 11-year, $182 million contract in November 2021. He is currently on Major League Baseball’s restricted list.

ESPN’s Juan Arturo Recio contributed to this report.

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Hamlin, awaiting son’s birth, wins at Michigan

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Hamlin, awaiting son's birth, wins at Michigan

BROOKLYN, Mich. – Denny Hamlin is pulling off quite a juggling act.

Hamlin outlasted the competition at Michigan International Speedway for his third NASCAR Cup Series victory of the season and 57th of his career, juggling his roles as a driver, expectant father and co-owner of a racing team that’s suing NASCAR.

“The tackle box is full,” Hamlin said Sunday. “There’s all kinds of stuff going on.”

Hamlin, in the No. 11 Toyota, went low to pass William Byron on the 197th of 200 laps and pulled away from the pack to win by more than a second over Chris Buescher.

“Just worked over the guys one by one, giving them different looks,” he said.

Ty Gibbs finished third, matching a season best, followed by Bubba Wallace and Kyle Larson.

The 44-year-old Hamlin was prepared to leave his team to join his fiancée, Jordan Fish, who is due to give birth to their third child, a boy. If she was in labor by Lap 50 or sooner at Michigan, he was prepared to leave the track.

Hamlin said he would skip next week’s race in Mexico City if necessary to witness the birth.

To add something else to Hamlin’s plate, he is also co-owner of 23XI Racing with Michael Jordan, which is involved in a lawsuit against NASCAR.

He drives for Joe Gibbs Racing, which hadn’t won at Michigan in a decade.

“I think it’s the most underrated track that we go to,” said Hamlin, who has won three times on the 2-mile oval.

Hamlin became JGR’s winningest driver, surpassing Kyle Busch‘s 56 victories, and the 10th driver in NASCAR history to win after his 700th start.

“It feels good because I’m going to hate it when I’m not at the level I’m at now,” he said. “I will certainly retire very quicky after that.”

Hamlin’s team set him up with enough fuel to win while many drivers, including Byron, ran out of gas late in the race.

“It really stings,” said Byron, the points leader, who was a season-worst 28th. “We just burned more (fuel) and not able to do much about that.”

Hamlin, meanwhile, wasn’t on empty until his celebratory burnout was cut short.

Pole-sitter Chase Briscoe was out front until Byron passed him on Lap 12. Buescher pulled ahead on Lap 36 and stayed up front to win his first stage this season.

Ryan Blaney and Chase Elliott took turns with the lead before a crash involving Alex Bowman brought out the red flag on Lap 67.

Byron took the lead again after a restart on Lap 78 as part of his strong start and surged to the front again to win the second stage.

Carson Hocevar took the lead on Lap 152 and was informed soon thereafter that he didn’t have enough fuel to finish, but that became moot because a flat tire forced him into the pits with 18 laps to go.

Hocevar faded to a 29th-place finish, a week after he was second to match a career best at Nashville, where he created a buzz with an aggressive move that knocked Ricky Stenhouse Jr. out of the race.

Rough times for Bowman

Bowman hit a wall with the front end of his No. 48 Chevrolet as part of a multi-car crash in his latest setback.

“That hurt a lot,” he said after passing a medical evaluation. “That was probably top of the board on hits I’ve taken.”

Bowman, who drives for Hendrick Motorsports, came to Michigan 12th in points and will leave lower in the standings. He has finished 27th or worse in seven of his last nine starts and didn’t finish for a third time during the tough stretch.

Reddick rallies

Defending race champion Tyler Reddick qualified 12th, but started last in the 36-car field because of unapproved adjustments and rallied to finish 13th.

Up next

NASCAR shifts to Mexico City for its first points-paying international race in modern history on June 15.

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A’s acquire Wynns from Reds; Brewers claim Avans

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A's acquire Wynns from Reds; Brewers claim Avans

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — The Athletics acquired catcher Austin Wynns from the Cincinnati Reds for cash Sunday.

In another move announced Sunday, the Milwaukee Brewers claimed outfielder Drew Avans off waivers from the Athletics and assigned him to their Triple-A Nashville affiliate.

The 34-year-old Wynns had batted .400 with a .442 on-base percentage, 3 homers and 11 RBIs in 18 games with the Reds.

He has batted .241 with a .287 on-base percentage, 16 homers and 74 RBIs in 256 career games with the Baltimore Orioles (2018-21), San Francisco Giants (2022-23), Los Angeles Dodgers (2023), Colorado Rockies (2023) and Reds (2024-25).

Avans, who turns 29 on Friday, had gone 1-for-15 in seven games with the Athletics this season. He had hit .328 with a .414 on-base percentage, 4 homers, 34 RBIs and 16 steals in 48 games with the Athletics’ Triple-A Las Vegas affiliate.

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