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There are days left until Christmas and once again, despite promising yourself you wouldn’t let your festive responsibilities creep up on you this time, you’ve left everything to the last minute.

No presents bought, turkey unordered – few things are as stressful as finding yourself unprepared for the big day.

But perhaps help has never been easier to come by. After all, if AI really is going to take all our jobs, then surely it should handle the pressure of Christmas planning?

In case you find yourself with the love and respect of your friends and family on the line, I decided to lean on some of the internet’s top AI tools to see if they could help salvage the big day at short notice.

Present ideas

ChatGPT was my choice for present ideas, concentrating on my immediate family.

Setting the budget at £50 a person, I told it my dad loves Arsenal, golf, and gadgets; mum enjoys cooking, cats, and arts and crafts; and my sister is obsessed with Taylor Swift.

For dad, it recommended Arsenal merch like a scarf, mug, or keychain, golf accessories like “a new set of golf balls, golf gloves or a golf towel”, or a “cool gadget” like a smartphone stand for his desk.

Rather dull suggestions, and “cool” is doing a lot of heavy lifting, but nothing offensive. I could work with it.

For mum, how about some “quality cooking utensils or gadgets”? Maybe a sketchbook or knitting materials? Or how about finding her a “cute cat-themed apron or a cat-shaped cutting board”?

And for the ultimate Swiftie, I was told to consider her latest album or concert tickets “if she has a tour coming up”.

Taytay tickets for £50? Not in your wildest dreams.

Taylor Swift performs at the Monumental stadium during her Eras Tour concert in Buenos Aires, Argentina, Thursday, Nov. 9, 2023. (AP Photo/Natacha Pisarenko)

When and where to buy

Sticking with ChatGPT, I asked for some shopping tips.

It didn’t get off to a great start, suggesting I indulge in Black Friday sales weeks after they’d finished.

But it said “many retailers have pre-Christmas sales and promotions in early to mid-December” too, and some “may offer last-minute discounts as Christmas approaches”.

“Consider shopping during off-peak hours or days to avoid crowds,” it added, and check online delivery times.

In terms of retailers, ChatGPT recommended Amazon, Etsy, Not On The High Street, Sports Direct and H&M, and encouraged exploring local book and craft shops.

Department stores like John Lewis and M&S were also proposed.

Personalised cards

Given my complete lack of creative talent, I thought AI might have the perfect chance to shine by making some personalised cards.

I used popular image generators Stable Diffusion and DALL-E 3.

For my sister, I asked Stable Diffusion to “design me a Christmas card cover featuring Taylor Swift holding up a boom box outside a girl’s bedroom window on a snowy evening singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You'”.

Stable Diffusion's Taylor Swift Christmas card

These tools are known to struggle with hands and fingers and while this fake Taylor’s left hand looks OK, her right hand… not so much.

There’s also an unsettling nutcracker quality to her agape jaw.

I used DALL-E 3 to make a card for my nan.

I asked it for a one “featuring an elderly lady making her way through a big box of chocolates, and while watching ballroom dancing” (it refused to acknowledge Strictly).

DALL-E 3's AI Christmas card

It certainly took the “big” requirement very seriously.

And for maximum efficiency, I asked both to have a go at an Arsenal card I could send to a few friends.

“Design me a Christmas card cover featuring Arsenal players Gabriel Jesus, Bukayo Saka, and Martin Odegaard in Arsenal-themed Christmas jumpers delivering presents to Mikel Arteta outside the Emirates Stadium,” I wrote.

Who’s who is anyone’s guess – and DALL-E 3 made a rather embarrassing typo.

DALL-E 3's Arsenal Christmas card
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The typo was made by an AI…

Stable Diffusion's Arsenal Christmas card
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…and Stable Diffusion’s effort

Menu planning

I got Google‘s Bard to plan dinner.

We’ll have three meat eaters and two vegetarians to look after, and – given this is all very last minute – I told it no supermarket for miles had any turkeys left.

I also asked for a recipe for some Christmas gingerbread biscuits.

BARD’S GINGERBREAD RECIPE – THE INGREDIENTS

  • 350g plain flour
  • One teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
  • Two teaspoons ground ginger
  • One teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 125g butter, cut into cubes
  • 175g dark muscovado sugar
  • 75g golden syrup
  • One egg, lightly beaten
  • Royal icing, for decorating (optional)

Suggested appetisers were butternut squash soup and mini quiches with bacon, cheddar, and caramelised onions.

For the main, it was either herb-roasted rack of lamb with roasted root vegetables or stuffed portobello mushrooms filled with quinoa, roasted veg, and herbs.

Sides were to be shared: mashed potatoes with roasted garlic and thyme (mash with Christmas dinner?!), sauteed Brussels sprouts with bacon, and cranberry sauce.

And it’s sticky toffee pudding for dessert.

BARD’S GINGERBREAD RECIPE – THE INSTRUCTIONS

  • Preheat the oven to 180C (160C fan) and line two baking trays with parchment paper
  • In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, ginger, and cinnamon
  • Rub in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs
  • Stir in the sugar, golden syrup, and egg until a dough forms
  • Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes
  • On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to a thickness of about 5mm
  • Cut out shapes using gingerbread cutters or other cookie cutters
  • Place the biscuits on the prepared baking trays and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown
  • Allow the biscuits to cool on the baking trays for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely

Fun and games

Some games to play at the dinner table was my next request.

Bard recommended Two Truths And A Lie, I Spy, The Name Game, Heads Up, and Scattergories.

Heads Up even came with a cheeky link to the app on the Google Play Store.

“The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the time with your family and friends,” it added.

Bard, you are hopelessly naive.

CHATGPT’S SUGGESTED CHRISTMAS WATCHLIST

  • It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
  • A Christmas Carol (1984)
  • Home Alone (1990)
  • Elf (2003)
  • The Polar Express (2004)
  • The Grinch (2000)
  • Love Actually (2003)
  • The Holiday (2006)

Festive tunes

Given one of the big talking points of the year has been the threat AI poses to the arts, I thought I’d explore whether Mariah Carey has anything to worry about by requesting a new Christmas song.

Lyrics were written by ChatGPT, which I asked for a song about the role AI could play at Christmas.

AN AI CHRISTMAS BALLAD

In a world of lights and snow, where the holiday spirits grow,
There’s a tale of tech and cheer, a Christmas story we hold dear.
Underneath the mistletoe, where joy and wonder freely flow,
A new companion joins the scene, it’s AI, the festive dream.

Oh, AI Christmas, bright and smart,
Spreading joy in every part.
Bytes of love and lines of code,
In this season, we all download.

Santa’s sleigh now with a twist, guided by algorithms’ bliss,
AI elves in the workshop sing, crafting toys that dreams will bring.
Through the web, a virtual tree, ornaments in binary glee,
Lights of data softly hum, a carol in the cyber drum.

Oh, AI Christmas, bright and smart,
Spreading joy in every part.
Bytes of love and lines of code,
In this season, we all download.

Machine learning in the air, predicting wishes everywhere,
Naughty or nice, it understands, with circuits spun by nimble hands.
The warmth of ones and zeros glow, in this techy festive show,
A silicon heart, so pure and true, Christmas miracles it can do.

Family calls across the globe, through video calls, we share the strobe,
AI, a virtual friend so dear, bringing those we love so near.
In every pixel, love extends, transcending where the circuit bends,
A Christmas hug in binary, connecting hearts so seamlessly.

Oh, AI Christmas, bright and smart,
Spreading joy in every part.
Bytes of love and lines of code,
In this season, we all download.

So in this yuletide, let us find, in AI’s embrace, peace of mind,
A Christmas future, bright and new, where technology and love break through.
In the glow of screens agleam, Merry Christmas, in the digital dream.

I don’t know about you, but I think Mariah’s job is definitely safe.

To be fair, ChatGPT is a fan.

Asked for some songs to build a Christmas playlist, she came out top of the pile, with Wham, Bobby Helms, Jose Feliciano, and Dean Martin rounding out its favourite five.

A perfect Christmas if ever I heard one.

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Poundland shake-up will see 68 stores and two distribution sites shut

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Poundland shake-up will see 68 stores and two distribution sites shut

The new owner of the discount retailer Poundland has revealed proposals to close 68 stores and two distribution centres under a shake-up that will also see frozen food and online sales halted.

Gordon Brothers, the investment firm which snapped up the struggling brand for a nominal sum last week, said its recovery plan “intended to deliver a financially sustainable operating model for the business after an extended period of under-performance”.

The plans are understood to be leaving 1,350 jobs at risk.

Money latest: £150 compensation for thousands of energy customers

It currently employs 16,000 people across the business.

Poundland said it was also seeking store rent reductions more widely under the plans.

Sky News reported on Monday that if creditors backed the restructuring, with a vote expected in late August, 250 of Poundland’s sites would also see their rent bills reduced to zero.

Poundland said its future focus would be on profitable stores, with its web-based operations becoming confined to browsing only.

As a result of the new priority, along with a shift away from most chilled and all frozen products, the company said it would no longer need its frozen and digital distribution centre at Darton in South Yorkshire.

It was to shut later this year.

Poundland also planned to close its national distribution centre at Bilston in the West Midlands early in 2026.

The retailer said it expects to end up with between 650 and 700 stores after the overhaul – assuming it achieves court approval.

It currently runs around 800 stores across the UK and Ireland but stressed Irish shops, which trade as Dealz, have not been affected.

Poundland’s struggles in recent years have included increased competition, poorly-received stock and rising costs.

Its managing director, Barry Williams, said: “It’s no secret that we have much work to do to get Poundland back on track.

“While Poundland remains a strong brand, serving 20 million-plus shoppers each year, our performance for a significant period has fallen short of our high standards and action is needed to enable the business to return to growth.

“It’s sincerely regrettable that this plan includes the closure of stores and distribution centres, but it’s necessary if we’re to achieve our goal of securing the future of thousands of jobs and hundreds of stores.

“It goes without saying that if our plans are approved, we will do all we can to support colleagues who will be directly affected by the changes.”

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US-UK trade deal ‘done’, says Trump as he meets Starmer at G7

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US-UK trade deal 'done', says Trump as he meets Starmer at G7

The UK-US trade deal has been signed and is “done”, US President Donald Trump has said as he met Sir Keir Starmer at the G7 summit.

The US president told reporters: “We signed it, and it’s done. It’s a fair deal for both. It’ll produce a lot of jobs, a lot of income.”

As Mr Trump and his British counterpart exited a mountain lodge in the Canadian Rockies where the summit is being held, the US president held up a physical copy of the trade agreement to show reporters.

Several leaves of paper fell from the binding, and Mr Starmer quickly bent down to pick them up, saying: “A very important document.”

President Donald Trump drops papers as he meets with Britain's Prime Minister Keir Starmer in Kananaskis, Canada. Pic: AP
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President Donald Trump drops papers as he meets with Britain’s Prime Minister Keir Starmer in Kananaskis, Canada. Pic: AP

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Sir Keir Starmer hastily collects the signed executive order documents from the ground and hands them back to the US president.

Sir Keir said the document “implements” the deal to cut tariffs on cars and aerospace, adding: “So this is a very good day for both of our countries – a real sign of strength.”

Mr Trump added that the UK was “very well protected” against any future tariffs, saying: “You know why? Because I like them”.

However, he did not say whether levies on British steel exports to the US would be set to 0%, saying “we’re gonna let you have that information in a little while”.

Sir Keir Starmer picks up paper from the UK-US trade deal after Donald Trump dropped it at the G7 summit. Pic: Reuters
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Sir Keir Starmer picks up paper from the UK-US trade deal after Donald Trump dropped it at the G7 summit. Pic: Reuters

What exactly does trade deal being ‘done’ mean?

The government says the US “has committed” to removing tariffs (taxes on imported goods) on UK aerospace goods, such as engines and aircraft parts, which currently stand at 10%.

That is “expected to come into force by the end of the month”.

Tariffs on car imports will drop from 27.5% to 10%, the government says, which “saves car manufacturers hundreds of millions a year, and protects tens of thousands of jobs”.

The White House says there will be a quota of 100,000 cars eligible for import at that level each year.

But on steel, the story is a little more complicated.

The UK is the only country exempted from the global 50% tariff rate on steel – which means the UK rate remains at the original level of 25%.

That tariff was expected to be lifted entirely, but the government now says it will “continue to go further and make progress towards 0% tariffs on core steel products as agreed”.

The White House says the US will “promptly construct a quota at most-favoured-nation rates for steel and aluminium articles”.

Other key parts of the deal include import and export quotas for beef – and the government is keen to emphasise that “any US imports will need to meet UK food safety standards”.

There is no change to tariffs on pharmaceuticals for the moment, and the government says “work will continue to protect industry from any further tariffs imposed”.

The White House says they “committed to negotiate significantly preferential treatment outcomes”.

Mr Trump also praised Sir Keir as a “great” prime minister, adding: “We’ve been talking about this deal for six years, and he’s done what they haven’t been able to do.”

He added: “We’re very longtime partners and allies and friends and we’ve become friends in a short period of time.

“He’s slightly more liberal than me to put it mildly… but we get along.”

Sir Keir added that “we make it work”.

The US president appeared to mistakenly refer to a “trade agreement with the European Union” at one point as he stood alongside the British prime minister.

Mr Trump announced his “Liberation Day” tariffs on countries in April. At the time, he announced 10% “reciprocal” rates on all UK exports – as well as separately announced 25% levies on cars and steel.

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In a joint televised phone call in May, Sir Keir and Mr Trump announced the UK and US had agreed on a trade deal – but added the details were being finalised.

Ahead of the G7 summit, the prime minister said he would meet Mr Trump for “one-on-one” talks, and added the agreement “really matters for the vital sectors that are safeguarded under our deal, and we’ve got to implement that”.

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Poundland to stop paying rent at hundreds of stores in rescue deal

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Poundland to stop paying rent at hundreds of stores in rescue deal

Poundland will halt rent payments at hundreds of its shops if a restructuring of the ailing discount retailer is approved by creditors later this summer.

Sky News has learnt that Poundland’s new owner, the investment firm Gordon Brothers, is proposing to halt all rent payments at so-called Category C shops across the country.

According to a letter sent to creditors in the last few days, roughly 250 shops have been classed as Category C sites, with rent payments “reduced to nil”.

Poundland will have the right to terminate leases with 30 days’ notice at roughly 70 of these loss-making stores – classed as C2 – after the restructuring plan is approved, and with 60 days’ notice at about 180 more C2 sites.

The plan also raises the prospect of landlords activating break clauses in their contracts at the earliest possible opportunity if they can secure alternative retail tenants.

In addition to the zero-rent proposal, hundreds of Poundland’s stores would see rent payments reduced by between 15% and 75% if the restructuring plan is approved.

The document leaves open the question of how many shops will ultimately close under its new owners.

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A convening hearing has been scheduled for next month, while a sanction hearing, at which creditors will vote on the plan, is due to occur on or around August 26, according to one source.

The discounter was sold last week for a nominal sum to Gordon Brothers, the former owner of Laura Ashley, amid mounting losses suffered by its Warsaw-listed owner, Pepco Group.

Poundland declined to comment.

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