Sweet Bobby catfish victim Kirat Assi on taking her pain to the screen
The latest true crime documentary to hit our screens is described as “a fairytale romance gone horribly wrong”. It labels itself “one crazy story” in its opening scene.
But while Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is a true story, the near-decade of deception, manipulation and coercion it depicts isn’t a crime.
Pic: Netflix
Catfishing – the name given to using fake online profiles to trick others into believing they are in a relationship – is not illegal in the UK.
Kirat Assi, the subject of Netflix‘s Sweet Bobby documentary tells Sky News: “People say, ‘How can you be so stupid?’ That’s the constant question you get. But none of us [victims] are stupid. It’s just the perpetrator’s gone the extra mile.”
Thought to be the UK’s longest-known catfishing scam, it’s the story of Kirat, an events assistant and radio presenter, who was deceived into believing she was in an online relationship with a cardiologist called Dr Bobby Jandu between 2009 and 2018.
Using the identity of a real person who Kirat had once briefly met, the perpetrator spent years building up the fake friendship, with the relationship becoming romantic from late 2015. They even became engaged.
But nothing was what it seemed, and every interaction – with around 60 people in total across multiple social platforms – was all one of Kirat’s distant relatives.
Kirat admits she wasn’t keen for the first telling of the story via Tortoise Media’s podcast of the same name in 2021, let alone the documentary it’s now inspired.
So why is she allowing it to be shared with the world via the world’s largest streaming platform?
Now 44, Kirat says: “At the moment of her confession, I was screaming, ‘Why?’ But I’ve long ago let go of that… There’s just no reason to have done what she did. Now, I just need to know how she did it.”
Pic: Netflix
How unlucky can one person be?
The documentary sets out how, during Kirat’s relationship with Bobby, he was shot six times in Kenya; put into witness protection in New York; suffered a stroke, brain tumour and heart attack; and fathered a secret child.
But while Kirat concedes she found it “strange,” “a bit weird,” and even asked herself “How unlucky can one person be?”, a circle of Bobby’s friends and family always validated the events in his life across numerous forms of social media.
The couple would Skype call all night and share voice notes and messages constantly.
Kirat is at pains to say it wasn’t a 10-year romance, and that initially she baulked at the idea due to their friendship being firmly in the “bro-zone”. But after years of persuasion, she says she finally gave in and they became a couple.
Pic: Netflix
‘My life was hellish’
Towards the end of the relationship, Kirat says Bobby became controlling, accusing her of flirting with other men, and discouraging her from going to work or seeing friends and family.
She says that’s when things took a turn for the worse: “I started to lose weight… It was coercive control, to a point where you’re thoroughly being abused, where you don’t have any sense of yourself left anymore. And you’re just scared all the time”.
That’s when she hired a private detective, confronting the real-life Bobby on the doorstep of his family home in Brighton.
Kirat says: “I was just trying to find out the truth in that last period, but at the same time trying to keep the peace and not rock the boat because my life would be made hell. And it was hellish enough already.”
Pic: Netflix
‘Victim shaming is dangerous’
Despite reporting it to police in 2018, no charge has ever been filed. The Met Police confirmed to Sky News that the case was closed in 2019 but has since been re-opened for reinvestigation.
A 2020 civil action, believed to be the UK’s first successful claim of its kind relating to catfishing – resulted in a private apology and substantial payout the following year.
Kirat hopes the documentary will inspire other victims of catfishing to speak out.
“There’s so much online abuse and bullying. There’s so much victim shaming, which stops people from speaking up… all of us have been suffering in silence.”
She says she’s received vicious abuse and trolling online since the podcast was released in 2021.
Kirat’s relative declined to be interviewed for the film, but her representatives told documentary producers: “This matter involves events that began when she was a schoolgirl. She considers it a private matter and strongly objects to what she describes as ‘numerous unfounded and damaging accusations'”.
Pic: Netflix
‘I dare not speak for her’
She’s not seen her relative since the day she came to her home to confess the deception.
She admits she “dare not speak for her,” adding that there’s still fear in her close-knit London Sikh community about speaking out .
“I guess people are still scared of what she might do, even if the case is open. [People are afraid] because of the non-action from the police, the slow action from the police, the limited actions from the civil case. People just don’t have the faith that it’s been dealt with in order for them to speak up.”
But Kirat refuses to be silenced: “The person that did it needs to be held accountable. I can’t bear the brunt of being blamed for bringing it out in the open. I’ve had to do what’s right for me,
Pic: Netflix
‘People expect me to be a whimpering wreck’
Six years after her world fell apart, Kirat’s dating again.
She says she’s back to her “old fiery self”, admitting, when people realize who she is, they “have the shock of their life because they expect me to be a whimpering wreck”.
But parts of her life are still disrupted: “I have to be very careful about what I do and how I do it, who’s Googling me when it comes to work things.”
And with technology at our fingertips 24/7, Kirat has a word of warning: “It’s becoming easier to do it. The crazy things that AI and online can do now are just getting worse. I feel like I’ve had a lucky escape that it didn’t happen to me now.”
Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is streaming on Netflix from Wednesday 16 October.
It’s easy to see why Anora, the film currently creating a lot of awards buzz, is being described as a modern day Pretty Woman.
It tells the story of a young woman, a sex worker, who ends up falling in love with a very rich man; this time round, he’s the son of a Russian oligarch.
But the similarities end there. More than 30 years on from Richard Gere and Julia Roberts’ famous Hollywood ending, Anora takes the sugar-coating away from the realities of sex work.
Mikey Madison stars as Anora. Pic: Neon/Augusta Quirk
It is one of those rare films that has already impressed critics – taking the biggest prize at this year’s Cannes Film Festival and now leading the nominations at the Gotham Awards – but will also appeal to a wider audience looking for something fun and smart, too.
It is the latest story from writer-director Sean Baker, a filmmaker who often focuses on marginalised people and has covered sex work in several of his previous works, from a retired porn star in Red Rocket to a transgender sex worker in Tangerine, and a character who solicits sex work online in The Florida Project.
Anora took home the biggest prize at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year. Pic: Neon
The theme was never intentional, he tells Sky News, but after discovering more about the industry he realised he wanted to tell these stories.
“I never imagined me making five films in a row focused on sex work,” he says. “It just happened to be that when I started doing research on the first one, I met sex workers, became friends with sex workers, and discovered that there were a million stories to be told in that world. And each one can be individual and very different, being that there’s so many aspects of sex work, so one led to the next.
“I don’t know if it will continue, I’m not sure, it has to happen organically though – I’d never want it to be a shtick of mine, you know, I want it to be something I’m inspired to do and there has to be a reason behind it.”
Pic: Neon
‘The sex work community is amazing’
Mikey Madison, who plays the lead character Anora – or Ani for short – is now tipped for best actress nominations come awards season next year.
She says she immersed herself in the world of her character when preparing for the role.
“I think that I went into the research not with much knowledge about sex work, and so I was able to learn a lot and educate myself in a way that I don’t know I would have if it weren’t for this film,” she says. “I’m so grateful to have that experience because the sex work community is amazing and I’ve made so many incredible friends.”
But that wasn’t the only prep Madison had to do. She’s listed in the credits as helping to choreograph her character’s dances, and she also had to learn Russian – though admits she’s out of practise again now.
“My Duolingo app has been bothering me trying to get me back into it. I think I just haven’t had a chance to practise any of it, but on the last handful of days of shooting, I was able to listen to pretty full conversations and understand what they were talking about. And at this point, I think it’s gone, but maybe I’ll be able to redevelop it.”
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When Anora competed at Cannes in May it won the Palme d’Or, the top prize for the best feature film.
Baker says the win was far more than just a tick off his bucket list.
“I think it was the bucket list! I mean, that was it,” he says. “It’s been incredible, it really has been, and I really didn’t expect it – we were just so happy to be in competition at Cannes, and next thing you know we’re at the awards ceremony, and next thing you know I’m up on stage and George Lucas is handing me the Palme d’Or.”
“So, yeah, it’s life changing.”
Anora is out in cinemas in the UK today
GB News has been fined £100,000 for breaking impartiality rules over a programme featuring Rishi Sunak, Ofcom has said.
It comes after the media watchdog announced in May that the show called People’s Forum: The Prime Minister had breached broadcasting guidelines.
The programme featured then prime minister Mr Sunak answering questions from a studio audience and a presenter.
GB News chief executive Angelos Frangopoulos said the fine was a “direct attack on free speech and journalism in the United Kingdom”.
“We believe these sanctions are unnecessary, unfair and unlawful,” he added.
The hour-long show, which aired on 12 February, prompted 547 complaints to Ofcom.
The regulator found earlier this year that while featuring Mr Sunak was fine in principle, “due weight” should have been given to an “appropriately wide range of significant views” other than the Conservatives.
Pic: PA
Ofcom said Mr Sunak “had a mostly uncontested platform to promote the policies and performance of his government in a period preceding a UK general election,” which it recorded as a breach of impartiality rules.
The watchdog said “given the seriousness and repeated nature of this breach,” it had imposed a £100,000 financial penalty.
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GB News was also directed to “broadcast a statement of our findings against it, on a date and in a form determined by us”.
The TV channel is challenging the breach decision by judicial review and Ofcom will not enforce the sanction decision until those proceedings are concluded.
Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News
Mr Frangopoulos insisted the show featuring Mr Sunak “was an important piece of public interest programming”, and that “appropriate steps” were taken to ensure due impartiality.
He added: “It was designed to allow members of the public to put their own questions directly to leading politicians.
“GB News chooses to be regulated and we understand our obligations under the Code.
“But, equally, Ofcom is obliged by law to uphold freedom of expression and apply its rules fairly and lawfully.”
Ofcom previously found GB News violated due impartiality rules in March over five programmes that featured Tory MPs as presenters.
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