Sweet Bobby catfish victim Kirat Assi on taking her pain to the screen
The latest true crime documentary to hit our screens is described as “a fairytale romance gone horribly wrong”. It labels itself “one crazy story” in its opening scene.
But while Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is a true story, the near-decade of deception, manipulation and coercion it depicts isn’t a crime.
Pic: Netflix
Catfishing – the name given to using fake online profiles to trick others into believing they are in a relationship – is not illegal in the UK.
Kirat Assi, the subject of Netflix‘s Sweet Bobby documentary tells Sky News: “People say, ‘How can you be so stupid?’ That’s the constant question you get. But none of us [victims] are stupid. It’s just the perpetrator’s gone the extra mile.”
Thought to be the UK’s longest-known catfishing scam, it’s the story of Kirat, an events assistant and radio presenter, who was deceived into believing she was in an online relationship with a cardiologist called Dr Bobby Jandu between 2009 and 2018.
Using the identity of a real person who Kirat had once briefly met, the perpetrator spent years building up the fake friendship, with the relationship becoming romantic from late 2015. They even became engaged.
But nothing was what it seemed, and every interaction – with around 60 people in total across multiple social platforms – was all one of Kirat’s distant relatives.
Kirat admits she wasn’t keen for the first telling of the story via Tortoise Media’s podcast of the same name in 2021, let alone the documentary it’s now inspired.
So why is she allowing it to be shared with the world via the world’s largest streaming platform?
Now 44, Kirat says: “At the moment of her confession, I was screaming, ‘Why?’ But I’ve long ago let go of that… There’s just no reason to have done what she did. Now, I just need to know how she did it.”
Pic: Netflix
How unlucky can one person be?
The documentary sets out how, during Kirat’s relationship with Bobby, he was shot six times in Kenya; put into witness protection in New York; suffered a stroke, brain tumour and heart attack; and fathered a secret child.
But while Kirat concedes she found it “strange,” “a bit weird,” and even asked herself “How unlucky can one person be?”, a circle of Bobby’s friends and family always validated the events in his life across numerous forms of social media.
The couple would Skype call all night and share voice notes and messages constantly.
Kirat is at pains to say it wasn’t a 10-year romance, and that initially she baulked at the idea due to their friendship being firmly in the “bro-zone”. But after years of persuasion, she says she finally gave in and they became a couple.
Pic: Netflix
‘My life was hellish’
Towards the end of the relationship, Kirat says Bobby became controlling, accusing her of flirting with other men, and discouraging her from going to work or seeing friends and family.
She says that’s when things took a turn for the worse: “I started to lose weight… It was coercive control, to a point where you’re thoroughly being abused, where you don’t have any sense of yourself left anymore. And you’re just scared all the time”.
That’s when she hired a private detective, confronting the real-life Bobby on the doorstep of his family home in Brighton.
Kirat says: “I was just trying to find out the truth in that last period, but at the same time trying to keep the peace and not rock the boat because my life would be made hell. And it was hellish enough already.”
Pic: Netflix
‘Victim shaming is dangerous’
Despite reporting it to police in 2018, no charge has ever been filed. The Met Police confirmed to Sky News that the case was closed in 2019 but has since been re-opened for reinvestigation.
A 2020 civil action, believed to be the UK’s first successful claim of its kind relating to catfishing – resulted in a private apology and substantial payout the following year.
Kirat hopes the documentary will inspire other victims of catfishing to speak out.
“There’s so much online abuse and bullying. There’s so much victim shaming, which stops people from speaking up… all of us have been suffering in silence.”
She says she’s received vicious abuse and trolling online since the podcast was released in 2021.
Kirat’s relative declined to be interviewed for the film, but her representatives told documentary producers: “This matter involves events that began when she was a schoolgirl. She considers it a private matter and strongly objects to what she describes as ‘numerous unfounded and damaging accusations'”.
Pic: Netflix
‘I dare not speak for her’
She’s not seen her relative since the day she came to her home to confess the deception.
She admits she “dare not speak for her,” adding that there’s still fear in her close-knit London Sikh community about speaking out .
“I guess people are still scared of what she might do, even if the case is open. [People are afraid] because of the non-action from the police, the slow action from the police, the limited actions from the civil case. People just don’t have the faith that it’s been dealt with in order for them to speak up.”
But Kirat refuses to be silenced: “The person that did it needs to be held accountable. I can’t bear the brunt of being blamed for bringing it out in the open. I’ve had to do what’s right for me,
Pic: Netflix
‘People expect me to be a whimpering wreck’
Six years after her world fell apart, Kirat’s dating again.
She says she’s back to her “old fiery self”, admitting, when people realize who she is, they “have the shock of their life because they expect me to be a whimpering wreck”.
But parts of her life are still disrupted: “I have to be very careful about what I do and how I do it, who’s Googling me when it comes to work things.”
And with technology at our fingertips 24/7, Kirat has a word of warning: “It’s becoming easier to do it. The crazy things that AI and online can do now are just getting worse. I feel like I’ve had a lucky escape that it didn’t happen to me now.”
Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is streaming on Netflix from Wednesday 16 October.
Jimmy Cliff, a musical artist who helped bring reggae to an international audience, has died aged 81.
Known for hits including You Can Get It If You Really Want, The Harder They Come, and Many Rivers To Cross, his career spanned six decades.
Cliff performing on the Pyramid Stage, at the Glastonbury Festival in 2003. Pic: PA
His wife, Latifa Chambers wrote on Instagram: “It’s with profound sadness that I share that my husband, Jimmy Cliff, has crossed over due to a seizure followed by pneumonia.
“I am thankful for his family, friends, fellow artists and coworkers who have shared his journey with him.
“To all his fans around the world, please know that your support was his strength throughout his whole career. He really appreciated each and every fan for their love.”
Thanking the medical staff who helped during his illness, she added: “Jimmy, my darling, may you rest in peace. I will follow your wishes.”
Signed by his wife, and two of his children, Latifa and Lilty, the statement concluded: “We see you Legend.”
Tributes to the singer included those from Jamaican Prime Minister Andrew Holness, calling him “a true cultural giant whose music carried the heart of our nation to the world… Jimmy Cliff told our story with honesty and soul. His music lifted people through hard times, inspired generations, and helped to shape the global respect that Jamaican culture enjoys today.”
UB40 star Ali Campbell, who covered Cliff’s song Many Rivers To Cross in 1983, also paid tribute, saying he was “absolutely heartbroken to hear about the passing of a Reggae forefather” in a post on X.
Campbell also called Cliff “a pillar of our music, and one of the first to carry reggae out into the world”.
Jimmy Cliff (L) stands with Wyclef Jean at his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction in 2010. Pic: Reuters
A legend of music and screen
A two-time Grammy-winning artist, Cliff was awarded the Jamaican Order of Merit in 2003, the highest honour in the arts and sciences, from the Jamaican government.
Over the years, he would work with stars including the Rolling Stones, Sting, Elvis Costello, Annie Lennox, Paul Simon and Wyclef Jean.
He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2010.
A prolific writer, frequently expressing his humanitarian views through his work, his 1969 track Vietnam was reportedly described by Bob Dylan as “the best protest song” he had ever heard.
Cliff was also well known for cover versions of songs, including Johnny Nash’s I Can See Clearly Now, which appeared on the soundtrack of the 1993 movie Cool Runnings, and Cat Stevens’ Wild World.
He twice performed on high-profile US chat show Saturday Night Live.
An actor and a musician, as well as singing the title track of 1972 cult classic The Harder They Come, Cliff also starred in it.
One of the first major commercial releases to come out of Jamaica, the movie is credited with bringing reggae to the world, as well as showing a grittier and more realistic side to the country.
During this time, Cliff’s fame rivalled Bob Marley as the reggae’s most prominent artist.
The storyline, which revolved around Cliff’s character, Ivan, moving to Kingston, Jamaica, to make it as a musical superstar, had parallels with his own.
Cliff at the MOBO (Music of Black Origin) Awards at the London Arena in London’s Docklands in 2002. Pic: PA
‘Hurricane Hattie’
He was born James Chambers, during a hurricane, on 30 July 1944, in St James Parish, northwestern Jamaica.
In the 1950s, he moved with his father from the family farm to Kingston, determined to succeed in the music industry.
He began writing as Jamaica was gaining its independence from Britain, and as the early sounds of reggae – first called ska – were being developed.
At just 14, he became nationally famous for the song Hurricane Hattie, which he had written himself.
Cliff would go on to record over 30 albums and perform all over the world, including in Paris, in Brazil and at the World’s Fair, an international exhibition held in New York in 1964.
The following year, Island Records’ Chris Blackwell, the producer who launched Bob Marley And The Wailers, invited Cliff to work in the UK.
Jimmy Cliff during the Love Supreme Jazz Festival in 2019. Pic: Shutterstock
‘I still have many rivers to cross!’
Speaking about his burning passion for life during a 2019 interview, when the star had begun losing his sight, Cliff said: “When I’ve achieved all my ambitions, then I guess that I will have done it and I can just say ‘great’.
“But I’m still hungry. I want it. I’ve still got the burning fire that burns brightly inside of me – like I just said to you. I still have many rivers to cross!”
Cliff’s last studio album, Refugees, made with Wyclef Jean, was released in 2022, and the singer said he wrote the title track “due to emotional feelings towards freedom taken away from human beings”.
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