It’s more than 10 years since Tinder launched its way into our phones – and our love lives – promising romance at the swipe of a thumb.
Just under five million adults in the UK visited an online dating service (app and websites) last year, according to Ofcom’s Online Nation Report.
But analysts are questioning whether the novelty is starting to wear off, as usage of the 10 biggest apps dropped 16% between 2023 and 2024.
Tinder revolutionised romance as the first dating app in 2012 – and it is still the largest one in Match group’s portfolio. But even it lost more than half a million usersin the last year.
“Dating fatigue” appears to dominate the cultural landscape – some 78% of dating app users say they feel “emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted” by them, according to a 2024 study by Forbes Health, and a2023 YouGov survey found that 46% of Brits say their dating app experiences have been bad.
I have stayed off the apps entirely, except for one impulsive evening with Hinge – one of the more popular ones among my age group. I’m not sure love can be found through swiping on a screen, and it seems I’m not alone.
So what exactly has gone wrong with finding modern love – and how can we hope to find a connection?
Image: Can we find love by swiping left and right?
Frogs and filters
With 10% of adults visiting a dating site – and almost 4% visiting one daily according to Ofcom– there is no sign they are going anywhere fast, even if numbers are dropping.
Among the newcomers is Cherry.
It categorises users into three “vibes” – casual, go-with-the-flow and meaningful – to match intentions and ensure genuine connections.
There are also coaches available on the app because CEO Jo Mason believes people need to work on themselves before embarking on relationships with others.
Image: Jo Mason is the founder of Cherry
“They’re hiding behind filtered photos, they’re hiding behind a phone, they’re hiding behind something all the time,” Jo says.
The app’s slogan is “kiss fewer frogs”, and the brand ambassador – a frog’s mask – is sitting on the table next to us.
According to a Cherry study, 58% of people dating feel exhausted by the process of swiping and superficial interactions, while 40% say their motivation to meet someone has decreased as a result.
Jo tells me she built Cherry out of “frustration”, adding: “Your options of trying to meet someone are either at the gym, bump into them at the supermarket, or through work, other than that it’s apps.”
Image: Jo’s mascot is a frog, her slogan ‘kiss fewer frogs’
‘Dating just seems to be all admin’
Thursday, an app launched in 2021, operates exclusively one day a week on – you guessed it, Thursdays – to encourage quick decision-making and in-person meetings.
Co-founder George Rawlings and I meet as we head to an over-30s singles event for users of the app in London at The Shard.
“We’re trying to destigmatise that whole thing around speed dating to make it normal,” George tells me.
“Is it awkward?” I ask, letting my intrusive thoughts win.
He laughs. “This is a different way of dating, we have obviously become so reliant on the apps for years but we’re giving people new opportunities to meet people in an ‘IRL’ way’.”
Image: I want to know if these types of event are awkward – George tells me they can be
I still can’t believe how that phrase – in real life – has become an acronym, but at the same time, it is not surprising.
“My resolution for this year is to meet someone organically,” one man tells me at the event.
“[Dating] isn’t as fun as it used to be, now it just seems to be all admin,” another says. A family member told me the same thing that week – going through the apps these days is like reading and responding to emails.
One person likens it to a networking event: “There is an unspoken pressure that everyone is single.”
Image: Attendees at a singles event in The Shard
As I finish speaking to someone, a man approaches me and asks what I am filming.
When I tell him anyone who hasn’t given consent won’t be identified, he looks relieved.
“Phew,” he says, laughing.
“Because my wife will kill me if she finds out I am here.”
So what happens if you ditch the apps?
On the theme of meeting in real life, my friends and I – over 30 and single – decided to go out one evening in London to see the dating scene for ourselves.
Perhaps the future of dating isn’t found in an app but in the world right in front of us.
But we were wrong. We didn’t get approached once.
People are glued to their phones – from texting in the middle of conversations to scrolling through dating apps while sitting across from someone at dinner, it seems we are physically present but mentally elsewhere.
It felt like a brave act just going up to people and talking or asking dating questions.
“I feel a woman should never go look for a man,” one of my friends tells me afterwards. “That is probably why I am still single – because a lot of girls do shoot their shot now, they have the confidence to ask guys out.
“I even see girls getting on one knee.”
Charlene Douglas, a relationship expert, specialising in psychodynamic counselling, who is a regular guest on the TV show Married At First Sight, admits then “men don’t always know where they fit in” when it comes to modern dating.
“To wait for a guy to approach us, I think it is a bit…1950s,” she says.
“I think in 2025, we can say hi to a guy or we can just strike up a conversation. We’re good at talking, us women, right?”
Image: Charlene Douglas, a relationship expert, has worked on Married At First Sight
From online to artificial
It’s clear the emotional toll of online dating is becoming harder to ignore – so it comes as no surprise that some daters are turning to AI chatbots to help them respond to messages from strangers.
One woman, who wanted to remain anonymous, told me that she even inputs messages from men she is speaking to into ChatGPT because it offers reassurance and clarity when she feels in doubt.
Rather than speaking to friends about relationships, AI can suggest possible interpretations in a “non-biased” and “simplified” way, she says.
“I over analyse things a lot anyway. So ChatGPT just simplifies it for me.”
Apps such as Replika and Blush are designed to provide AI companions for emotional support, and in some cases, even mimic romantic or intimate human relationships.
It’s been reported that loneliness can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to the World Health Organisation – but is AI just a sticking plaster on a larger problem?
Milly has created a Singles’ Society group on Instagram where she posts daily affirmations. Her videos have reached millions of people – including me.
“I felt so alone in this whole dating world,” she says.
“I was honestly so surprised that everyone else was having similar experiences.”
She plans to start events, including speed dating.
But Milly has a theory when it comes to the problem with modern dating – “It all comes down to people not knowing what they want.”
Image: Milly G, content creator, built the Single’s Society on Instagram
Relationship expert Charlene thinks the answer is more education in school.
“Young people try and work out how to do relationships themselves based on what they have seen at home and what they have seen around them,” she says. “But they don’t really always know how to have healthy relationships.”
So, despite the dating fatigue, I doubt dating apps are going anywhere, with new versions cropping up every day. And for some people, they can work.
Alex met her girlfriend Molly unexpectedly on one of the more popular apps, Hinge – they are now celebrating three years together: “We are currently in the flat we bought together, so I think you could say it is going quite well.”
Molly adds: “I think it’s quite good we had the option of online dating – I don’t think our paths would have crossed otherwise.”
Alex agrees: “With online dating, you get so many people, it almost feels like a numbers game, but it really does give you the opportunity to meet so many people that you wouldn’t otherwise.
“There are people out there – there are fabulous people out there, and you will find your person one day.”
An insider has told Sky News people are still disappearing “daily” from asylum seeker hotels.
In an exclusive interview, the contractor described the chaos he sees within the system as “terrifying” because undocumented people are persistently absconding from hotels.
He spoke to us because he is deeply concerned about the ongoing lack of monitoring at a time when the government has promised to tighten the asylum system.
The man, who we are not naming, works across multiple asylum hotels in one region of England.
“When someone gets to about a week away from the hotel, they’re processed as an absconder,” he said.
“Nothing really happens there. They get marked as ‘left the hotel’ and a notification is sent to the Home Office.
“It’s at least weekly. Most of the time it can be daily.”
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The government moved last month to reset its immigration policy by promising to toughen the process for asylum seekers.
The latest figures up to September this year show 36,272 asylum seekers living in hotels.
Image: Failed asylum applicants are given a date to move out by, but they’re not actually picked up by the authorities, the insider says
Overall 110,000 people claimed asylum in the UK between September 2024 and September 2025 – higher than the previous recorded peak of 103,000 in 2002.
The hotel contractor also described to Sky News what he says happens when a resident’s claim for asylum is rejected.
“They get given a date that they need to move out by,” he said.
“You would expect immigration enforcement to go to the hotel to pick these people up. You would expect them to not even be told that they failed their asylum claim.
“You would expect them to just be collected from the hotel… that doesn’t happen.”
He told us that some residents just walk out of the door with no further checks or assistance.
Image: The whistleblower spoke to Sky News’ Tom Parmenter in the exclusive interview
“It must be terrifying for these people as well… ‘what do I do now? I don’t have an address’.
“So what do they do? How do they survive?
“Do they then get forced… to go into an underground world?
“They’re just completely invisible within society.
“For those people to freely be allowed, undetected and unchecked, on the streets of this country is terrifying.”
His account from within the system contrasts with the government’s promises to restore control over the asylum process.
Image: Police and protesters outside the Bell Hotel, Epping, where asylum seekers have been housed. Pic: PA
In response to the interview, a Home Office spokesperson said: “This government will end the use of hotels and have introduced major reforms to the asylum system, to scale up removals of people with no right to be here and address the factors drawing illegal migrants to the UK in the first place.
“Nearly 50,000 people with no right to be in our country have been removed and enforcement arrests to tackle illegal working are at the highest level in recent history.
“A dedicated team in the Home Office works with police, across government and commercial companies to trace absconders. Failure to return to a hotel can also lead to asylum claims and support being withdrawn.”
At a community kitchen in Greater Manchester, organisers told us they regularly see people who are living under the radar – surviving with “cash in hand” jobs.
Image: Volunteer Shabana Yunas says the situation is ‘getting worse’ and ‘it is dangerous’
Volunteer Shabana Yunas helps many hungry and desperate people. She also feels the tension it causes in her community.
“People don’t know who they are and I understand a lot of people are afraid… but if there’s those things in place where we can monitor who is around, then everybody can feel a lot safer.
“If people are coming into the UK and we don’t know who they are and they’re just disappearing, crime rates are going to go up, slavery is going to go higher, child exploitation is going to be more exposed.
“They are too afraid to go to the authorities because they are scared of being deported to a country where their lives could be at risk.
“It’s getting worse, it is dangerous and we do need to do something about this where we can support people.”
Image: Kitchen volunteer Khalid, from Ethiopia, has had his application for asylum rejected four times
Another volunteer at the kitchen is Khalid.
He arrived in the UK in 2015 having travelled from Ethiopia – he hid on a lorry to get into England.
He has applied for asylum and been rejected four times.
He has recently submitted another application and told us political violence at home meant he could not return.
Crucially, he knows plenty of people living off-grid.
“Yeah, they don’t care about what the government thinks, because they already destroyed their life,” he told us.
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Although Khalid now has somewhere to stay, he has previously considered turning to crime to give himself the stability of life in prison.
“I was in depression. I was like, I wanna do some criminal and go jail, to stay in a prison.
“Once upon a time, I’d prefer that way.”
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5:05
The visa overstayers in ‘soft’ Britain
Khalid is now volunteering to give his life more purpose as he waits for another decision from the Home Office.
He says he doesn’t blame people who think he should be deported back to Ethiopia.
When asked if he should have been, he said: “That is up to Home Office, like up to government.”
Stopping small boats, clearing backlogs, closing hotels, enforcing the rules and restoring faith in the system are all priorities for the Home Office – solving it all is one of the defining challenges for the Starmer government.
• An average of 2,660 patients were in hospital per day with flu last week
• This is the highest ever for this time of year and up 55% on last week
• At this point last year the number stood at 1,861 patients, while in 2023 it was just 402
Health service bosses are warning the number of flu patients in hospital has already increased sharply since the week covered by this data – with no peak in sight.
Weekly flu numbers in England peaked at 5,408 patients last winter and reached 5,441 over the winter of 2022/23, the highest level since the pandemic.
Alongside rocketing flu, the number of norovirus patients in hospital has also risen by 35%.
The NHS is now warning winter viruses are starting to “engulf hospitals”.
Demand for A&Es and ambulance services is also soaring.
New monthly figures show A&E attendances were a record for November at 2.35 million – more than 30,000 higher than November 2024.
In addition, there were 48,814 more ambulance incidents (802,525) compared with last year (753,711).
Some hospitals across the country have asked staff, patients and visitors to wear face masks to cut the spread of flu, while others have gone in and out of critical incident status due to the high number of people attending A&E.
What are the symptoms of flu?
Sudden high temperature
Achy body
Feeling tired or exhausted
Dry cough
Sore throat
Headaches
Difficulty sleeping
Loss of appetite
Diarrhoea
Feeling or being sick
The record-breaking demand on the NHS coincides with a resident doctors’ strike from 17 to 22 December over pay and jobs – sparking fears of major disruption for patients in the run up to Christmas.
People are being advised to attend any planned appointments scheduled during the strikes unless they have been contacted to reschedule.
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2:10
Will doctors accept late deal to avoid strikes?
Flu vaccinations on the up… who can get one?
The NHS is urging anyone eligible to get their flu vaccination to help prevent them getting seriously ill.
Latest figures show more than 17.4 million people have been vaccinated so far this year, more than 381,000 higher than last year.
You can get it if you:
• Are 65 or over in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland
• Are pregnant
• Live in a care home
• Are the main carer for an older or disabled person, or receive carer’s allowance
• Live with someone who has a weakened immune system
• Are a frontline health and social care worker
• Are of school age
• Have certain medical conditions (the NHS has a full list)
Wes Streeting, the health secretary, warned of a “tidal wave of flu tearing through our hospitals”.
“We are working with the NHS to make sure it is able to cope with this as best as possible,” he said.
Analysis – Why these flu figures are so troubling
NHSE press releases can be prone to hyperbole: a “tsunami of infections, worst case scenarios” and “tidal wave of flu surging through hospitals” are recent examples.
But the health service’s headline writers can be allowed this excess right now.
The latest flu numbers are bad. Really bad and could get worse. One recent projection was 8,000 patients, before this wave subsides.
But that’s where the problem lies. There is no peak in sight.
We know flu season has come early. It’s going to last longer. But there’s uncertainty over when we expect to see infections falling.
Hospitals are at capacity. Most of those receiving care are elderly or have underlying health conditions.
But younger, fitter people can’t afford to be complacent.
This is a particularly nasty strain that is highly infectious. Nobody is immune. Except those people who have protected themselves with a vaccine.
Warning ‘extremely challenging few weeks ahead’
Professor Meghana Pandit, NHS national medical director, warned the health service faces “an extremely challenging few weeks ahead” with “staff being pushed to the limit”.
She said: “With record demand for A&E and ambulances and an impending resident doctors’ strike, this unprecedented wave of super flu is leaving the NHS facing a worst-case scenario for this time of year – with staff being pushed to the limit to keep providing the best possible care for patients.
“The numbers of patients in hospital with flu is extremely high for this time of year. Even worse, it continues to rise and the peak is not in sight yet, so the NHS faces an extremely challenging few weeks ahead.”
She added: “We have prepared earlier for winter than ever before, and stress-tested services to ensure people have a range of ways to get the help they need and avoid needing to go to A&E.
“For non-life-threatening care, people should call NHS 111 or use 111 online, which can direct you to the most appropriate place, and use A&E and 999 for life threatening conditions and serious injuries.”
Mr Streeting has offered the British Medical Association (BMA) a last-minute deal in the hope doctors will call off the walkout, which starts next Wednesday.
The doctors’ union has agreed to put the offer to members over the coming day, and is expected to announced a decision on Monday, just two days before the planned strike.
The offer includes a fast expansion of specialist training posts as well as covering out-of-pocket expenses such as exam fees, but does not include extra pay.
And with the possibility of a five-day strike by resident (junior) doctors next week, it’s a perfect storm for hospitals.
Image: An NHS hospital ward at Ealing Hospital in London. Pic: PA
Christmas flu
Children are the super-spreaders of flu. It races around classrooms and some schools have temporarily shut because of the impact.
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The Christmas holidays aren’t far off. They are likely to put the brakes on children passing around the virus.
But it’s also a time of year when families mix with elderly relatives, who are more likely to be hit hard by the infection – perhaps even needing hospital care.
So while the holidays may temporarily slow the overall rise in infections, the impact on hospitals could get much worse.
Image: File pic: PA
Subclade K
Flu is spreading so rapidly at the moment because immunity to subclade K from previous infections and vaccinations is low.
The virus – a variant of the H3N2 flu strain – suddenly acquired seven new mutations in late summer.
Every 100 people infected with seasonal flu would typically pass the virus on to 120 others.
With subclade K, it’s 140.
And that’s why cases are rising so quickly on the charts.
At the moment, 18 in every 100,000 patients in England are consulting their GP with flu-like symptoms. That’s still well short of the peak of around 50 in every 100,000 in 2017/18, the worst flu outbreak in recent years.
Image: File pic: PA
The grim reality of flu
Flu is a really unpleasant disease, nothing like a cold. I’ve had it twice in my life and it physically hurt to get out of bed. It’s grim.
Most people get over it with a few days’ rest and paracetamol to take the edge off the fever.
But vulnerable people can become seriously ill. In the outbreak of 2017/18, around 22,000 died.
That’s why the NHS is urging people in certain groups – the over 65s, those with underlying health conditions, pregnant women, carers and children – to get the jab.
The vaccine isn’t a great match for subclade K, but still reduces the chance of hospital admission by 30-40% in adults.
It’s impossible to say when the spread will peak, but the latest figures suggest the outbreak is far from over.