Schoolchildren are asking teachers how to strangle a partner during sex safely, a charity says, while official figures show an alarming rise in the crime related to domestic abuse cases.
Warning: This article contains references to strangulation, domestic abuse and distressing images.
It comes as a woman whose former partner almost strangled her to death in a rage has advised anyone in an abusive relationship to seek help and leave.
Bernie Ryan, chief executive of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation, has been running the charity since its inception in 2022 after non-fatal strangulation became a standalone offence.
“It’s the ultimate form of control,” she says.
She says perpetrators and victims are getting younger, while the reason is unclear, but strangulation has seeped into popular culture and social media.
“We hear lots of sex education providers, teachers saying that they’re hearing it in schools.
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“We know teachers have been asked, ‘how do I teach somebody to strangle safely?’
“Our message is there is no safe way to strangle – the anatomy is the anatomy. Reduction in oxygen to the brain or blood flow will result in the same medical consequences, regardless of context.”
Image: Bernie Ryan, CEO of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation
A recent review by Conservative peer Baroness Gabby Bertin recommended banning “degrading, violent and misogynistic content” online.
Violent pornography showing women being choked during sex she found was “rife on mainstream platforms”.
Ms Ryan says she “wants to make sure that young people don’t have access to activities that demonstrate that this is normal behaviour”.
Strangulation is a violent act that is often committed in abusive relationships.
It is the second most common method used by men to kill women, the first is stabbing.
According to statistics shared by the Crown Prosecution Service, in 2024 there was an almost 50% rise in incidents of non-fatal strangulation and suffocation – compared to the year before.
Image: Kerry Allan pleads for other victims of abuse to leave before it’s too late
Domestic abuse victim Kerry Allan has a message for anyone who is in an abusive relationship.
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022. While she said “at the beginning it was really good”, within months he became physically abusive.
In August last year her friends found his profile on a dating app.
“I confronted him and he denied it. I knew we were going to get into a big argument and I couldn’t face it, so I said I was going to my mum’s for a few days and take myself away from the situation.
“I came back a few days later and stupidly I agreed we could try again and everything escalated from that.”
Image: Injuries to Kerry’s chest. Pic: CPS
In the early hours of 25 August the pair had come in from a night out at a concert and got into an argument.
“He was having a go at me, accusing me of flirting with other people, and I was angry. I told him he had a nerve after what he’d done to me in the week and how he humiliated me.
“I told him that I wanted to leave, that we were done and that I wanted to go to my mum’s and that’s when it got bad.
“He pinned me to the bed and that’s when he first strangled me.”
Image: Kerry’s neck injury. Pic: CPS
Kerry says this was the first time she’d ever been violently assaulted. Cosgrove was eerily silent as he eventually let go and Kerry gasped for air.
“I remember trying to get my breath back, I was crying and hyperventilating… I was sick on the bedroom floor and I was asking him to go.”
Cosgrove strangled her for a second time before letting go again.
“He was saying I wasn’t getting out of this bedroom alive. I was dead tonight, he hoped that I knew that. Just kept saying how I’d ruined his life.”
Image: Injury to Kerry’s eye. Pic: CPS
“I remember feeling a sort of shock thinking at this point, I’m not going to get out of this bedroom, he’s actually going to kill me.”
Kerry began screaming and shouting for help as loud as she could.
Her neighbours heard the commotion and called the police. While they were en route, Kerry was once again being assaulted.
Image: Bleeding in Kerry’s eye
“I ran over to the bedroom window and tried to jump out, he grabbed me as I went to open the window, and we struggled. And then I was back in the same position, he was on top of me on the bed, and his hands were round the throat again. But this time it didn’t stop.
“I remember trying to struggle and trying to kick out and hit him and I just kept thinking that I definitely was going to die, because at this point, it wasn’t stopping.”
The next memory Kerry has is opening her eyes to see police and paramedics in the bedroom.
Image: Michael Cosgrove. Pic: CPS
Cosgrove had heard the sirens, jumped out of the bedroom window and went to hide in Kerry’s car.
Kerry remembers opening her eyes to paramedics caring for her: “I remember thinking, I’m alive. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I was alive and I wasn’t dead. My last memory is him being on top of me with his hands on my throat.”
Image: Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022
She gives this advice to anyone who is in an abusive relationship: “Please speak to somebody, whether it’s friends, family, a work colleague, whether it’s somebody online, whether it’s a charity that you’re directed to, any sort of abuse is not okay.
“Whether it starts off emotional, they often start off that way, and they escalate, and they can escalate badly.
“Take what happened to me as a huge warning sign, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to be in the position I’ve been in the last eight months.”
Cosgrove was found guilty of attempting to murder Kerry and intentional strangulation.
A Sikh woman who was raped in a “racially aggravated attack” in the West Midlands says she “would never wish this on anyone”.
Police were called just before 8.30am on Tuesday after the woman, who is in her 20s, reported being attacked by two white men in the area around Tame Road in Oldbury.
The Sikh Federation (UK) said the perpetrators allegedly told the woman during the attack: “You don’t belong in this country, get out.”
The woman, who is entitled to anonymity as the victim of a sex offence, issued a statement through community group Sikh Youth UK.
Thanking everyone for their support, she said: “We are going through a lot, but the strength and kindness shown by the right people in the community has been incredible and I can’t thank them enough for being my voice.
“I would never wish this on anyone. All I was doing was going about my day on my way to work, and what has happened has deeply affected us.”
Calling her family her “rock,” she went on: “The police are doing their best to find those responsible, and I truly hope they are caught so that this doesn’t happen to anyone else.”
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She said she was “truly humbled” by the love and support she’d received.
She added: “I want to personally thank my family, Sikh Youth UK, who have been so supportive, the local Gurdwara committees and Sikh orgs, and everyone in my community who has stood by me. I cannot thank you enough for helping me get through this difficult time.”
An emergency meeting was later held at the Guru Nanak Gurdwara temple in Smethwick, a few miles from Oldbury, following concerns within the community.
Police are still trying to identify the perpetrators of the attack, which they say is being treated as “racially aggravated”.
Officers said CCTV, forensic and other enquiries are well underway, but have appealed for anyone in the area who may have seen the men, or have any further information, to contact the force.
One of the men is described as having a shaved head, of heavy build, and was reported to be wearing a dark coloured sweatshirt and gloves.
The second man was reportedly wearing a grey top with a silver zip.
A man has admitted arson after a major fire at an MP’s constituency office.
Joshua Oliver, 28, pleaded guilty to starting the fire which destroyed the office of Labour MP Sharon Hodgson, at Vermont House in Washington, Tyne and Wear.
The fire also wrecked a small charity for people with very rare genetic diseases and an NHS mental health service for veterans.
The guilty plea was entered at Newcastle Magistrates’ Court on the basis that it was reckless rather than intentional.
Image: Hodgson, who has been an MP since 2005, winning her seat again in 2019. Pic: Reuters
The Crown did not accept that basis of plea.
Oliver, of no fixed address, had been living in a tent nearby, the court heard.
Northumbria Police previously said it was “alerted to a fire at a premises on Woodland Terrace in the Washington area” shortly after 12.20am on Thursday.
“Emergency services attended and no one is reported to have been injured in the incident,” it added.
Drone footage from the scene showed extensive damage to the building.
A spokesperson for the Crown Prosecution Service said: “Our prosecutors have worked to establish that there is sufficient evidence to bring the case to trial and that it is in the public interest to pursue criminal proceedings.
“We have worked closely with Northumbria Police as they carried out their investigation.”
Oliver was remanded in custody and will appear at Newcastle Crown Court on Tuesday, 14 October.
Dozens of people have gathered at a Sikh temple to attend an emergency meeting after police in the West Midlands said they are investigating the rape of a woman as a “racially motivated attack”.
The victim, reported to be a British-born Sikh aged in her 20s, told officers a racist remark was made to her during the attack in Oldbury, which was reported to police just before 8.30am on Tuesday.
The Sikh Federation (UK) said the perpetrators allegedly told the woman during the attack: “You don’t belong in this country, get out.”
Jas Singh, principal advisor to the Sikh Federation (UK), was among the group of faith and community leaders responsible for holding the meeting at the Guru Nanak Gurdwara temple in Smethwick, a few miles from Oldbury, following concerns within the community.
“I think if you look at it in the context of the climate, it makes it even more worrying because there is a trend of hatred… the targeting of migrants,” he said.
“Ultimately, what that means is the targeting of people’s skin colour, and as Sikhs we have the most distinct, unique identity,” he added.
“We bear the brunt of all prejudice and ignorance, and hate.”
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Image: Principal advisor to the Sikh Federation (UK) Jas Singh
Similar sentiments were raised at the meeting, with many horrified by the reports of the sexual assault as well as concerns about their own safety.
“People are trying to divide us,” said a woman in her 30s, who did not want to be named but said, as a Sikh woman, she wanted to be present to have her voice heard.
She was not only referencing the sexual assault but also what she believes has been an increase in overt discrimination.
“Let’s call it what it is, this is racism,” she told the meeting, as she broke down in tears.
Reverend Nick Ross, from Smethwick’s Holy Trinity Church, was also in attendance at the emergency meeting.
He commented on “offensive” graffiti that had been left on the side of the wall of the Sikh temple, while saying his Anglican church had also been defaced.
“We cannot just ignore it, it will go on and it will build, and there will be incidents like this,” he said, referencing racial tensions across the country.
Image: Faith and community leaders organised the meeting at the Sikh temple
Police are still trying to identify the perpetrators of the attack and want to speak to anyone who may have seen two white men in the area.
The first is described as having a shaved head and a heavy build, and was wearing a dark sweatshirt with gloves on, and the second was reportedly wearing a grey top with a silver zip.
Chief Superintendent Kim Madill, of Sandwell Police, said: “We are working really hard to identify those responsible, with CCTV, forensic and other inquiries well under way.
“We fully understand the anger and worry that this has caused, and I am speaking to people in the community today to reassure them that we are doing everything we can to identify and arrest those responsible.
“Incidents like this are incredibly rare, but people can expect to see extra patrols in the area.”