Schoolchildren are asking teachers how to strangle a partner during sex safely, a charity says, while official figures show an alarming rise in the crime related to domestic abuse cases.
Warning: This article contains references to strangulation, domestic abuse and distressing images.
It comes as a woman whose former partner almost strangled her to death in a rage has advised anyone in an abusive relationship to seek help and leave.
Bernie Ryan, chief executive of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation, has been running the charity since its inception in 2022 after non-fatal strangulation became a standalone offence.
“It’s the ultimate form of control,” she says.
She says perpetrators and victims are getting younger, while the reason is unclear, but strangulation has seeped into popular culture and social media.
“We hear lots of sex education providers, teachers saying that they’re hearing it in schools.
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“We know teachers have been asked, ‘how do I teach somebody to strangle safely?’
“Our message is there is no safe way to strangle – the anatomy is the anatomy. Reduction in oxygen to the brain or blood flow will result in the same medical consequences, regardless of context.”
Image: Bernie Ryan, CEO of the Institute for Addressing Strangulation
A recent review by Conservative peer Baroness Gabby Bertin recommended banning “degrading, violent and misogynistic content” online.
Violent pornography showing women being choked during sex she found was “rife on mainstream platforms”.
Ms Ryan says she “wants to make sure that young people don’t have access to activities that demonstrate that this is normal behaviour”.
Strangulation is a violent act that is often committed in abusive relationships.
It is the second most common method used by men to kill women, the first is stabbing.
According to statistics shared by the Crown Prosecution Service, in 2024 there was an almost 50% rise in incidents of non-fatal strangulation and suffocation – compared to the year before.
Image: Kerry Allan pleads for other victims of abuse to leave before it’s too late
Domestic abuse victim Kerry Allan has a message for anyone who is in an abusive relationship.
Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022. While she said “at the beginning it was really good”, within months he became physically abusive.
In August last year her friends found his profile on a dating app.
“I confronted him and he denied it. I knew we were going to get into a big argument and I couldn’t face it, so I said I was going to my mum’s for a few days and take myself away from the situation.
“I came back a few days later and stupidly I agreed we could try again and everything escalated from that.”
Image: Injuries to Kerry’s chest. Pic: CPS
In the early hours of 25 August the pair had come in from a night out at a concert and got into an argument.
“He was having a go at me, accusing me of flirting with other people, and I was angry. I told him he had a nerve after what he’d done to me in the week and how he humiliated me.
“I told him that I wanted to leave, that we were done and that I wanted to go to my mum’s and that’s when it got bad.
“He pinned me to the bed and that’s when he first strangled me.”
Image: Kerry’s neck injury. Pic: CPS
Kerry says this was the first time she’d ever been violently assaulted. Cosgrove was eerily silent as he eventually let go and Kerry gasped for air.
“I remember trying to get my breath back, I was crying and hyperventilating… I was sick on the bedroom floor and I was asking him to go.”
Cosgrove strangled her for a second time before letting go again.
“He was saying I wasn’t getting out of this bedroom alive. I was dead tonight, he hoped that I knew that. Just kept saying how I’d ruined his life.”
Image: Injury to Kerry’s eye. Pic: CPS
“I remember feeling a sort of shock thinking at this point, I’m not going to get out of this bedroom, he’s actually going to kill me.”
Kerry began screaming and shouting for help as loud as she could.
Her neighbours heard the commotion and called the police. While they were en route, Kerry was once again being assaulted.
Image: Bleeding in Kerry’s eye
“I ran over to the bedroom window and tried to jump out, he grabbed me as I went to open the window, and we struggled. And then I was back in the same position, he was on top of me on the bed, and his hands were round the throat again. But this time it didn’t stop.
“I remember trying to struggle and trying to kick out and hit him and I just kept thinking that I definitely was going to die, because at this point, it wasn’t stopping.”
The next memory Kerry has is opening her eyes to see police and paramedics in the bedroom.
Image: Michael Cosgrove. Pic: CPS
Cosgrove had heard the sirens, jumped out of the bedroom window and went to hide in Kerry’s car.
Kerry remembers opening her eyes to paramedics caring for her: “I remember thinking, I’m alive. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I was alive and I wasn’t dead. My last memory is him being on top of me with his hands on my throat.”
Image: Kerry met Michael Cosgrove in September 2022
She gives this advice to anyone who is in an abusive relationship: “Please speak to somebody, whether it’s friends, family, a work colleague, whether it’s somebody online, whether it’s a charity that you’re directed to, any sort of abuse is not okay.
“Whether it starts off emotional, they often start off that way, and they escalate, and they can escalate badly.
“Take what happened to me as a huge warning sign, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to be in the position I’ve been in the last eight months.”
Cosgrove was found guilty of attempting to murder Kerry and intentional strangulation.
The daughter of a Post Office victim has told Sky News she suffered “dark thoughts of suicide” in the years after her mother was accused of stealing.
Kate Burrows was 14 years old when her mother, Elaine Hood, was prosecuted and subsequently convicted in 2003.
The first public inquiry report on the Post Office – examining redress and the “human impact” of the scandal – is due to be published today.
“I’ve suffered with panic attacks from about 14, 15 years old, and I still have them to this day,” Kate said.
“I’ve been in and out of therapy for what feels like most of my adult life and it absolutely categorically goes back to [what happened].”
Image: Kate and Rebecca with their mother, Elaine
Kate, along with others, helped set up the charity Lost Chances, supporting the children of Post Office victims. She hopes the inquiry will recognise their suffering.
“It’s important that our voices are heard,” she said. “Not only within the report, but in law actually.
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“And then maybe that would be a deterrent for any future cover-ups, that it’s not just the one person it’s the whole family [affected].”
Her sister, Rebecca Richards, who was 18 when their mother was accused, described how an eating disorder “escalated” after what happened.
“When my mum was going through everything, my only control of that situation was what food I put in my body,” she said.
Image: Elaine with her husband
She also said that seeing her mother at court when she was convicted, would “stay with me forever”.
“The two investigators were sat in front of my dad and I, sniggering and saying ‘we’ve got this one’.
“To watch my mum in the docks handcuffed to a guard… not knowing if she was going to be coming home… that is the most standout memory for me.”
The sisters are hoping the inquiry findings will push Fujitsu into fulfilling a promise they made nearly a year ago – to try and help the children of victims.
Image: The siblings were teenagers when their mum was unfairly prosecuted
Last summer, Kate met with the European boss of the company, Paul Patterson, who said he would look at ways they could support Lost Chances.
Despite appearing at the inquiry in November last year and saying he would not “stay silent” on the issue, Kate said there has been little movement in terms of support.
“It’s very much a line of ‘we’re going to wait until the end of the inquiry report to decide’,” she said.
“But Mr Patterson met us in person, looked us in the eye, and we shared the most deeply personal stories and he said we will do something… they need to make a difference.”
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2024: Paula Vennells breaks down in tears
Fujitsu, who developed the faulty Horizon software, has said it is in discussions with the government regarding a contribution to compensation.
The inquiry will delve in detail into redress schemes, of which four exist, three controlled by the government and one by the Post Office.
Victims of the scandal say they are hoping Sir Wyn Williams, chair of the inquiry, will recommend that the government and the Post Office are removed from the redress schemes as thousands still wait for full and fair redress.
A Department for Business and Trade spokesperson said they were “grateful” for the inquiry’s work, describing “the immeasurable suffering” victims endured and saying the government has “quadrupled the total amount paid to affected postmasters”, with more than £1bn having now been paid to thousands of claimants.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK
Sophisticated drones sending “overwhelming amounts” of drugs and weapons into prisons represent a threat to national security, according to an annual inspection report by the prisons watchdog.
HMP chief inspector of prisons Charlie Taylor has warned criminal gangs are targeting jails and making huge profits selling contraband to a “vulnerable and bored” prison population.
The watchdog boss reiterated his concerns about drones making regular deliveries to two Category A jails, HMP Long Lartin and HMP Manchester, which hold “the most dangerous men in the country”, including terrorists.
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Ex-convict: Prison is ‘birthing bigger criminals’
Mr Taylor said “the police and prison service have in effect ceded the airspace” above these two high-security prisons, which he said was compromising the “safety of staff, prisoners, and ultimately that of the public”.
“The possibility now whereby we’re seeing packages of up to 10kg brought in by serious organised crime means that in some prisons there is now a menu of drugs available,” he said. “Anything from steroids to cannabis, to things like spice and cocaine.”
“Drone technology is moving fast… there is a level of risk that’s posed by drones that I think is different from what we’ve seen in the past,” warned the chief inspector – who also said there’s a “theoretical risk” that a prisoner could escape by being carried out of a jail by a drone.
He urged the prison service to “get a grip” of the issue, stating: “We’d like to see the government, security services, coming together, using technology, using intelligence, so that this risk doesn’t materialise.”
Image: The report highlights disrepair at prisons around the country
The report makes clear that physical security – such as netting, windows and CCTV – is “inadequate” in some jails, including Manchester, with “inexperienced staff” being “manipulated”.
Mr Taylor said there are “basic” measures which could help prevent the use of drones, such as mowing the lawn, “so we don’t get packages disguised as things like astro turf”.
Responding to the report, the Prison Advice and Care Trust (PACT) said: “The ready access to drugs is deeply worrying and is undermining efforts to create places of rehabilitation.”
Mr Taylor’s report found that overcrowding continues to be what he described as a “major issue”, with increasing levels of violence against staff and between prisoners, combined with a lack of purposeful activity.
Some 20% of adult men responding to prisoner surveys said they felt unsafe at the time of the inspection, increasing to 30% in the high security estate.
Andrea Coomber, chief executive of the Howard League for Penal Reform, said: “This report is a checklist for all the reasons the government must prioritise reducing prison numbers, urgently.
“Sentencing reform is essential, and sensible steps to reduce the prison population would save lives.”
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May: Male prison capacity running at 99%
The report comes after the government pledged to accept most of the recommendations proposed in the independent review of sentencing policy, with the aim of freeing up around 9,500 spaces.
Those measures won’t come into effect until spring 2026.
Prisons Minister Lord Timpson said Mr Taylor’s findings show “the scale of the crisis” the government “inherited”, with “prisons dangerously full, rife with drugs and violence”.
He said: “After just 500 prison places added in 14 years, we’re building 14,000 extra – with 2,400 already delivered – and reforming sentencing to ensure we never run out of space again.
“We’re also investing £40m to bolster security, alongside stepping up cooperation with police to combat drones and stop the contraband which fuels violence behind bars.”
The daughter of a Post Office victim has told Sky News she suffered “dark thoughts of suicide” in the years after her mother was accused of stealing.
Kate Burrows was 14 years old when her mother, Elaine Hood, was prosecuted and subsequently convicted in 2003.
The first public inquiry report on the Post Office – examining redress and the “human impact” of the scandal – is due to be published today.
“I’ve suffered with panic attacks from about 14, 15 years old, and I still have them to this day,” Kate said.
“I’ve been in and out of therapy for what feels like most of my adult life and it absolutely categorically goes back to [what happened].”
Image: Kate and Rebecca with their mother, Elaine
Kate, along with others, helped set up the charity Lost Chances, supporting the children of Post Office victims. She hopes the inquiry will recognise their suffering.
“It’s important that our voices are heard,” she said. “Not only within the report, but in law actually.
More on Post Office Scandal
Related Topics:
“And then maybe that would be a deterrent for any future cover-ups, that it’s not just the one person it’s the whole family [affected].”
Her sister, Rebecca Richards, who was 18 when their mother was accused, described how an eating disorder “escalated” after what happened.
“When my mum was going through everything, my only control of that situation was what food I put in my body,” she said.
Image: Elaine with her husband
She also said that seeing her mother at court when she was convicted, would “stay with me forever”.
“The two investigators were sat in front of my dad and I, sniggering and saying ‘we’ve got this one’.
“To watch my mum in the docks handcuffed to a guard… not knowing if she was going to be coming home… that is the most standout memory for me.”
The sisters are hoping the inquiry findings will push Fujitsu into fulfilling a promise they made nearly a year ago – to try and help the children of victims.
Image: The siblings were teenagers when their mum was unfairly prosecuted
Last summer, Kate met with the European boss of the company, Paul Patterson, who said he would look at ways they could support Lost Chances.
Despite appearing at the inquiry in November last year and saying he would not “stay silent” on the issue, Kate said there has been little movement in terms of support.
“It’s very much a line of ‘we’re going to wait until the end of the inquiry report to decide’,” she said.
“But Mr Patterson met us in person, looked us in the eye, and we shared the most deeply personal stories and he said we will do something… they need to make a difference.”
Please use Chrome browser for a more accessible video player
1:38
2024: Paula Vennells breaks down in tears
Fujitsu, who developed the faulty Horizon software, has said it is in discussions with the government regarding a contribution to compensation.
The inquiry will delve in detail into redress schemes, of which four exist, three controlled by the government and one by the Post Office.
Victims of the scandal say they are hoping Sir Wyn Williams, chair of the inquiry, will recommend that the government and the Post Office are removed from the redress schemes as thousands still wait for full and fair redress.
A Department for Business and Trade spokesperson said they were “grateful” for the inquiry’s work, describing “the immeasurable suffering” victims endured and saying the government has “quadrupled the total amount paid to affected postmasters”, with more than £1bn having now been paid to thousands of claimants.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK