‘My world crumbled’: The teenage girl who found out her dad was a child sex offender
Ava was heading home from Pizza Hut when she found out her dad had been arrested.
Warning: This article includes references to indecent images of children and suicide that some readers may find distressing
It had been “a really good evening” celebrating her brother’s birthday.
Ava (not her real name) was just 13, and her brother several years younger. Their parents had divorced a few years earlier and they were living with their mum.
Suddenly Ava’s mum, sitting in the front car seat next to her new boyfriend, got a phone call.
“She answered the phone and it was the police,” Ava remembers.
“I think they realised that there were children in the back so they kept it very minimal, but I could hear them speaking.”
“I was so scared,” she says, as she overheard about his arrest.
‘Ava’ says she was ‘repulsed’ after discovering what her dad had done
“I was panicking loads because my dad actually used to do a lot of speeding and I was like: ‘Oh no, he’s been caught speeding, he’s going to get in trouble.'”
But Ava wasn’t told what had really happened until many weeks later, even though things changed immediately.
“We found out that we weren’t going to be able to see our dad for, well we didn’t know how long for – but we weren’t allowed to see him, or even speak to him. I couldn’t text him or anything. I was just wondering what was going on, I didn’t know. I didn’t understand.”
Ava’s dad, John, had been arrested for looking at indecent images of children online.
We hear this first-hand from John (not his real name), who we interviewed separately from Ava. What he told us about his offending was, of course, difficult to hear.
His offending went on for several years, looking at indecent images and videos of young children.
His own daughter told us she was “repulsed” by what he did.
But John wanted to speak to us, frankly and honestly.
He told us he was “sorry” for what he had done, and that it was only after counselling that he realised the “actual impact on the people in the images” of his crime.
By sharing his story, he hopes to try to stop other people doing what he did and raise awareness about the impact this type of offence has – on everyone involved, including his unsuspecting family.
John tells us he’d been looking at indecent images and videos of children since 2013.
“I was on the internet, on a chat site,” he says. “Someone sent a link. I opened it, and that’s what it was.
“Then more people started sending links and it just kind of gathered pace from there really. It kind of sucks you in without you even realising it. And it becomes almost like a drug, to, you know, get your next fix.”
John says he got a “sexual kick” from looking at the images and claims “at the time, when you’re doing it, you don’t realise how wrong it is”.
‘I told them exactly what they would find’
At the point of his arrest, John had around 1,000 indecent images and videos of children on his laptop – some were Category A, the most severe.
Referencing the counselling that he since received, John says he believes the abuse he received as a child affected the way he initially perceived what he was doing.
“I had this thing in my mind,” he says, “that the kids in these were enjoying it.”
“Unfortunately, [that] was the way that my brain was wired up” and “I’m not proud of it”, he adds.
John had been offending for several years when he downloaded an image that had been electronically tagged by security agencies. It flagged his location to police.
John was arrested at his work and says he “straight away just admitted everything”.
“I told them exactly what they would find, and they found it.”
The police bailed John – and he describes the next 24 hours as “hell”.
“I wanted to kill myself,” he remembers. “It was the only way I could see out of the situation. I was just thinking about my family, my daughter and my son, how is it going to affect them?”
But John says the police had given information about a free counselling service, a helpline, which he called that day.
“It stopped me in my tracks and probably saved my life.”
‘John’ thinks children of abusers should get more support
‘My world was crumbling around me’
Six weeks later, John was allowed to make contact with Ava.
By this point she describes how she was “hysterically crying” at school every day, not knowing what had happened to her dad.
But once he told her what he’d done, things got even worse.
“When I found out, it genuinely felt like my world was crumbling around me,” Ava says.
“I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. I was so embarrassed of what people might think of me. It sounds so silly, but I was so scared that people would think that I would end up like him as well, which would never happen.
“It felt like this really big secret that I just had to hold in.”
“I genuinely felt like the only person that was going through something like this,” Ava says.
She didn’t know it then, but her father also had a sense of fear and shame.
“You can’t share what you’ve done with anybody because people can get killed for things like that,” he says.
“It would take a very, very brave man to go around telling people something like that.”
And as for his kids?
“They wouldn’t want to tell anybody, would they?” he says.
For her, Ava says “for a very, very long time” things were “incredibly dark”.
“I turned to drugs,” she says. “I was doing lots of like Class As and Bs and going out all the time, I guess because it just was a form of escape.
“There was a point in my life where I just I didn’t believe it was going to get better. I really just didn’t want to exist. I was just like, if this is what life is like then why am I here?”
Professor Armitage says children of abusers should be legally recognised as victims
‘The trauma is huge for those children’
Ava felt alone, but research shows this is happening to thousands of British children every year.
Whereas suspects like John are able to access free services, such as counselling, there are no similar automatic services for their children – unless families can pay.
Professor Rachel Armitage, a criminology expert, set up a Leeds-based charity called Talking Forward in 2021.
It’s the only free, in-person, peer support group for families of suspected online child sex offenders in England. But it does not have the resources to provide support for under-18s.
“The trauma is huge for those children,” Prof Armitage says.
“We have families that are paying for private therapy for their children and getting in a huge amount of debt to pay for that.”
Prof Armitage says if these children were legally recognised as victims, then if would get them the right level of automatic, free support.
It’s not unheard of for “indirect” or “secondary” victims to be recognised in law.
Currently, the Domestic Abuse Act does that for children in a domestic abuse household, even if the child hasn’t been a direct victim themselves.
In the case of children like Ava, Prof Armitage says it would mean “they would have communication with the parents in terms of what was happening with this offence; they would get the therapeutic intervention and referral to school to let them know that something has happened, which that child needs consideration for”.
We asked the Ministry of Justice whether children of online child sex offenders could be legally recognised as victims.
“We sympathise with the challenges faced by the unsuspecting families of sex offenders and fund a helpline for prisoners’ families which provides free and confidential support,” a spokesperson said.
But when we spoke with that helpline, and several other charities that the Ministry of Justice said could help, they told us they could only help children with a parent in prison – which for online offences is, nowadays, rarely the outcome.
None of them could help children like Ava, whose dad received a three-year non-custodial sentence, and was put on the sex offenders’ register for five years.
“These children will absolutely fall through the gap,” Prof Armitage says.
“I think there’s some sort of belief that these families are almost not deserving enough,” she says. “That there’s some sort of hierarchy of harms, and that they’re not harmed enough, really.”
‘Ava’ started taking drugs after her dad’s arrest and ‘didn’t want to exist’
‘People try to protect kids from people like me’
Ava says there is simply not enough help – and that feels unfair.
“In some ways we’re kind of forgotten about by the services,” she says. “It’s always about the offender.”
John agrees with his daughter.
“I think the children should get more support than the offender because nobody stops and ask them really, do they?” he says.
“Nobody thinks about what they’re going through.”
Although Ava and John now see each other, they have never spoken about the impact that John’s offending had on his daughter.
Ava was happy for us to share with John what she had gone through.
“I never knew it was that bad,” he says. “I understand that this is probably something that will affect her the rest of her life.
“You try to protect your kids, don’t you. People try to protect their kids from people like me.”
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
Sir Keir Starmer has suspended four MPs for repeated breaches of party discipline.
Brian Leishman, Chris Hinchliff, Neil Duncan-Jordan and Rachael Maskell have lost the whip, meaning they are no longer part of Labour’s parliamentary party and will sit as independent MPs.
The suspension is indefinite pending a review.
Three other MPs have had their trade envoy roles removed: Rosena Allin Khan, Bell Ribeiro-Addy and Mohammed Yasin.
Politics latest: Suspended MPs defend their voting record
All seven had voted against the government’s welfare reforms earlier this month. However, it is understood this is not the only reason behind the decision, with sources citing “repeated breaches of party discipline”.
More than 100 MPs had initially rebelled against the plan to cut personal independent payments (PIP). Ultimately, 47 voted against the bill’s third reading, after it was watered down significantly in the face of defeat.
Ms Maskell was one of the lead rebels in the welfare revolt, and has more recently called for a wealth tax to fund the U-turn.
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‘There are lines I will not cross’
The York Central MP has spoken out against the government on a number of other occasions since the election, including on winter fuel and cuts to overseas aid.
Confirming the suspension, Ms Maskell told Sky News that she “doesn’t see herself as a rebel” but “somebody that is prepared to fulfil (her) role here of holding the executive to account and speaking truth to power”.
She stopped short of criticising the decision, saying: “I hold my hand out to the prime minister and hope he takes that and wants to reach back because I think it’s really important that we work together.”
File pic: PA
Ms Maskell was first elected in 2015, while the other suspended MPs were newly elected last year.
Mr Hinchliff, the MP for North East Hertfordshire, has proposed a series of amendments to the flagship planning and infrastructure bill criticising the government’s approach.
Mr Duncan-Jordan, the MP for Poole, led a rebellion against the cut to the winter fuel payments while Alloa and Grangemouth MP Mr Leishman has been critical of the government’s position on Gaza.
Suspended Labour MPs clearly hit a nerve with Starmer
After a tricky few weeks for the government, in which backbenchers overturned plans to cut back welfare spending, now a heavy hand to get the party into line.
All four suspended MPs appear to be surprised – and upset.
Three more have lost plum roles as trade envoys – all on the left of the party.
All were active in the rebellion against the government’s welfare reforms, and voted against the changes even after a series of U-turns – but were among 47 Labour MPs who did so.
When MPs were told after the welfare vote that Number 10 was “fully committed to engaging with parliamentarians”, this was not what they were expecting.
We’re told the reasons for these particular suspensions go wider – over “persistent breaches of party discipline” – although most are not high profile.
In the scheme of things, Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell rebelled against the Labour whip hundreds of times under New Labour, without being suspended.
But these MPs’ pointed criticism of the Starmer strategy has clearly hit a nerve.
‘Couldn’t support making people poorer’
Mr Duncan-Jordan told Sky News that he understood speaking out against benefit cuts would “come at a cost” but said he “couldn’t support making disabled people poorer”.
Mr Leishman echoed that sentiment, saying: “I firmly believe that it is not my duty as an MP to make people poorer, especially those that have suffered because of austerity and its dire consequences.”
Both said they remain committed to the Labour Party and its values, suggesting they have no plans to join the new party being set up by former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and ousted MP Zarah Sultana.
Similarly Mr Hinchliff said in a brief statement: “I remain proud to have been elected as a Labour MP and I hope in time to return to the Labour benches.”
The suspensions will be seen as an attempt to restore discipline ahead of the summer recess following a number of rebellions that has forced the government into U-turns.
Read more:
Who are the suspended Labour MPs?
As well as watering down the welfare bill, some cuts to the winter fuel payment have been reversed, leaving Chancellor Rachel Reeves with a fiscal blackhole to fill.
However the move risks creating further divisions with a number of Labour MPs criticising the decision.
Starmer ‘rolling out the carpet to Reform’
Ian Byrne, Labour MP for Liverpool West Derby, said he was “appalled” by the suspensions as he and 44 others voted against welfare cuts.
He said this isn’t the first time the Starmer leadership has “punished MPs for standing up for what’s right”, as he and six others were suspended last year for voting against the two-child benefit cap.
“These decisions don’t show strength. They are damaging Labour’s support and risk rolling out the red carpet for Reform,” he added.
Richard Burgon, who was also temporarily suspended in the two-child benefit cap revolt, said he had hoped the leadership would take a different approach to backbenchers.
“Sadly, it isn’t yet doing so. To help stop a Reform government, it really must do so,” he said.
Jon Trickett, Labour MP for Normanton and Hemsworth, said “it’s not a sin to stand up for the poor and disabled”, adding: “Solidarity with the suspended four.”
After a tricky few weeks for the government, in which backbenchers overturned plans to cut back welfare spending, now a heavy hand to get the party into line.
Three newly-elected MPs, Neil Duncan-Jordan, MP for Poole, Brian Leishman, MP for the new Alloa and Grangemouth constituency, and Chris Hinchcliff, for North East Herefordshire, have all had the whip suspended.
Rachael Maskell, MP for York Central, who was first elected a decade ago, is the fourth.
Politics latest: Labour MP ‘appalled’ after Starmer suspends rebels
They will all sit as independent MPs and will not be allowed to stand for Labour at the next election, unless readmitted. All appear to be surprised – and upset.
Three more have lost plum roles as trade enjoys – Dr Rosena Allin-Khan, Bell Ribeiro-Addy and Mohammed Yasin, all on the left of the party.
All were active in the rebellion against the government’s welfare reforms, and voted against the changes even after a series of U-turns – but were among 47 Labour MPs who did so.
When MPs were told after the welfare vote that Number 10 was “fully committed to engaging with parliamentarians”, this was not what they were expecting.
We’re told the reasons for these particular suspensions go wider – over “persistent breaches of party discipline” – although most are not high profile.
In the scheme of things, Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell rebelled against the Labour whip hundreds of times under New Labour, without being suspended.
But these MPs’ pointed criticism of the Starmer strategy has clearly hit a nerve.
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Suspended MP: ‘There are lines I will not cross’
Maskell – who was referred to, jokingly, in the House of Commons earlier this month by Tory MP Danny Kruger as “the real prime minister” – led the rebellion against cuts to winter fuel allowance which triggered a U-turn which she said would still leave pensioners in fuel poverty.
There was an attack on the government’s values. Duncan-Jordan, a trade unionist who won the Poole seat by just 18 votes, led the welfare rebellion, telling Sky News the proposed cutbacks were “not a very Labour thing to do”.
Hinchliff, who has also opposed the government’s housebuilding strategy and plans to expand Luton airport,had told his local paper he was willing to lose the whip over welfare cuts if necessary. He also has a marginal seat, won by fewer than 2,000 votes.
Read more:
Who are the suspended Labour MPs?
Leishman, a former pro golfer, has also been vocal about government plans to close the refinery in his Grangemouth constituency after promising to try and make it viable. They are MPs who the leadership fear are going for broke – and that’s concerning as more tough decisions on spending are likely to come.
But after a poorly-handled welfare vote, in which MPs seemed to be in the driving seat forcing changes, will this instil a sense of discipline over the summer break?
While some MPs will see this as a deterrent to rebellion, for those whose chances of re-election are small, it may continue to be seen as a price worth paying.
To other Labour MPs, the move is confusing and may be counter-productive. One Labour MP on the left told me: “So, we’re suspending people for winning an argument with the government?”
Another, in the centre, feared it looked divisive, saying: “We need to go into the summer focused on the opposition – not involved in our melodramas.”
Number 10 wants to show rebelling comes at a price – but many Labour MPs with concerns about their political direction will want to know the prime minister is planning to listen to concerns before it gets to that point.
UK
‘Betrayed’ Afghan interpreter says family ‘waiting for death’ under Taliban after UK military data breach
An Afghan interpreter who worked with the British military has told Sky News he feels “betrayed by the British government” after a massive data breach saw his personal details revealed.
Ali, whose name has been changed to protect his identity, had long suspected his details had been shared with the Taliban – but found out just yesterday that he was a victim of the breach three years ago.
He is now even more fearful for the lives of family members still in Afghanistan, who are already in hiding from the Taliban.
Ali worked alongside British soldiers in Helmand Province to help them speak with Afghan people. His job also involved listening in on Taliban radio communications and translating them for the British forces.
“The Taliban called us the British eyes,” he told Sky News. “Because they think if we are not on the ground with them, the British force cannot do anything.
“They know that you’re listening to their chatting and the British forces are acting according to our translation. We were always the first target and our job was always full of risk.”
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Here’s what the public couldn’t know until now.
After the Taliban seized power in Afghanistan in 2021, Ali – who had already suffered injuries after the Taliban targeted him with a car bomb – was brought to the UK through the British government’s Afghan Resettlement Programme (ARP) for his own protection.
Once in the UK, he began to suspect his data had been leaked after his father “died because the Taliban took him into custody and beat him”.
Ali contacted the Ministry of Defence to raise concerns over his personal information last year, and stated in an email that he was “terrified”, adding: “I beg of you, do not pass this information to anyone.”
“They just ignored what I told them and they never replied,” he said.
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Afghans being relocated after data breach
‘The Taliban want me’
Following confirmation that the data breach did take place, Ali is even more scared for the lives of his family members who have already been in hiding from the Taliban for around five months.
“I’m feeling terrible and frustrated,” he said. “My family’s details have been shared with the Taliban intelligence forces and now they are looking for them.
“Every day, every single minute, my family’s waiting for their death, because if anyone comes to knock the door, they think that that is the Taliban.”
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Ali has twice applied for his family to be relocated to the UK but both applications have been rejected. He is now renewing his call for the British government to move his loved ones.
“I have carried the body of the British soldier,” he said. “I feel betrayed by the British government. They should relocate my family to a safe place.”
Read more:
Afghan man pleads for King’s help after data leak
How Afghan data breach unfolded
‘Serious questions to answer’ over data breach, says PM
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Ali has decided he will return to his homeland to help his family if they are not granted legal passage to the UK.
“If we don’t win [the case], I have decided I want to go back to Afghanistan and finish this,” he said. “The Taliban want me. If the British government can’t save my family, then I have this one responsibility to go and save them.
“I don’t want my family being killed for something they didn’t do.”
Sky News has contacted the Ministry of Defence for comment.
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