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Inspirational thought of the week:

I hear your laugh
And look up smiling at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch
And the tractor rides

Look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs

And fall asleep on the way home
I don’t know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you’re not scared of anything at all

— “The Best Day,” Taylor Swift

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located beneath the pile of regret RSVP cards at Rece Davis’ house because his daughter scheduled a fall wedding, now that October has arrived, we know exactly where you will all have been this week. Standing in line with us, waiting for the store to open at midnight Oct. 3 to sell us the first copies of Tay-Tay’s new album, “The Life of a Showgirl.”

Yes, this week the World’s Most Famous Chiefs Fan Not Named Ant-Man drops her new batch of songs, but we also know that as the Bottom 10 faithful camp out on the sidewalk, they will be listening to another playlist of sweet tunes. I’m speaking of the fight songs of Sam Houston, We Have a Problem on Thursday night. Then, the Charlotte 1-and-3’ers, San No-sé State and Colora-duh State on Friday night. All programs that are in their own “Era” of writing “Bottom 10’s Version” of their “Reputation” for “Evermore.”

And while we watch those games, at some point we will realize that it isn’t “1989” and we no longer have to be in line to buy a new record. Or buy records at all. We can download them to our phones. Or as we call them here in the B10CU, the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe, our pocket computers.

With apologies to the Taylor University Trojans, former Nebraska wide receiver Nate Swift and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 5 Bottom 10 rankings.

The Bearkats kruised through their skheduled open date and now koncentrate on krossing the Rio Grande for a kontest kounter to New Mexiko State, who were just konquered by New Mexiko in Albukuerkue.


Have you seen that meme of Cookie Monster drumming his fingers on the table, impatiently waiting to go bonkers on a yet-to-arrive tray of cookies? Yeah, that’s us, waiting for the Oct. 11 Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of the Century Mega Bowl, when the Minutemen travel to face State of Kent, who are 1-3 after taking the week off. But before that, UMass hosts Western Not Eastern Michigan, while Kent will be getting run over by the Sooner Schooner like a snake trying to cross an Oklahoma freeway.


In Westwood, they said bye to their coach, then they had a bye week, then they lost at Bottom 10 Wait Listers Northworstern, then they raced USC back to Los Angeles, both wondering why they said bye to having all those games closer to home in the league they said bye to too.


Speaking of the Artist Formerly Known But Soon To Be Known Again As The Pac-12, the Beavers became the nation’s first five-loss team after a near-win over undefeated Houston Not Sam Houston. Now they travel east to face Appalachian State in Boone, North Carolina, where I once camped with the Boy Scouts and had all of our food stolen by actual beavers.


There are those who might try to convince you that Penn State’s White Out didn’t work the night they played Oregon, but it did. Watch James Franklin’s postgame news conference when he was asked about his record against top-10 teams. He totally used virtual Wite-Out to paint over the word “narrative” and change it to “factual.”


I was roasted over mesquite, and rightfully so, for omitting Oklahoma State from these rankings one week ago after it lost to Living On Tulsa Time at home and then fired Mike “I’m a man! I’m 58!” Gundy. It was a mistake. I was in denial. But I was snapped out of that trance of disbelief by all of the DMs and texts from Stillwater phone numbers saying that I had to have Oklahoma State in here this week or lose all credibility, including one from what my caller ID listed as “Gundy, M.”


The Spartans Not Trojans are one of a whopping four Mountain West teams stuck at 1-3, but won, er, lost out for this spot over the other three because: A. They actually played a game last weekend; 3. They lost the Pillow Fight of the Week to neighbor and fellow Bottom 10 Waiting Lister Stanfird by one point; and fifthly, they can probably sneak up on New Mexico this weekend because the Lobos have spent all week with upset tummies after spending a week eating from college football’s new greatest rivalry trophy, the Chile Roaster.


The Other Other Huskies are one of a whopping six #MACtion team stuck at 1-and-something, but won, er, lost out for this spot over the other five because: 1. They actually played a game last weekend; C. They lost to San Diego State, which isn’t terrible, but the final score of the game was 6-3; and secondly, we wanted a chance to hype this week’s Pillow Fight of the Week, when they host My Hammy of Ohio, which is now 1-3 after beating Lindenwood, a school you’ve never heard of unless you are a big Pierre Desir fan.


The Red Wolves are one of a not-as-whopping but still not small three Fun Belt teams stuck at 1-and-something, but won, er, lost out for this spot over the other two because: I. They actually played last weekend; IV. They lost to our old friends and former Bottom 10 stalwart ULM (pronounced “uhlm”); and XL. That Week 2 loss to now-head coach-less Arkansaw by 42 points is aging about as well as that bottle of gas station chardonnay that I accidentally left under the seat of my truck all summer.


My hometown team is one of a totally-not-whopping-but-still-seems-like-a-lot-for-one-conference-after-only-one-month-of-football three Just American teams stuck at 1-and-something, but won, er … OK, yeah … I’m tired of this bit too. Almost as tired as the Niners fans will be of watching US(not C)F run up and down the field on Friday night. The good news? Shortly after the game ends, they can ease their pain by listening to Tay’s new album.

Waiting list: State of Kent, UTEPid, Muddled Tennessee State, Northworstern, FA(not I)U, Bah-stan Cawledge, Clempson, Flori-duh, Georgia State Not Southern, Colora-duh State, No-vada, Stanfird, My Hammy of Ohio, South Alabama Redundancies, Give Me Liberty Or Give Me 1-4, Akronmonious, Baller State, a college football world without Sam Pittman in it.

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Yamamoto-led Dodgers oust Reds to reach NLDS

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Yamamoto-led Dodgers oust Reds to reach NLDS

LOS ANGELES — Yoshinobu Yamamoto struck out nine while pitching into the seventh inning, and the Los Angeles Dodgers broke it open with a four-run sixth to beat the Cincinnati Reds 8-4 on Wednesday night and advance to the National League Division Series.

The defending World Series champion Dodgers advanced to their 20th NLDS appearance — 13th in a row — in franchise history and will face the Phillies starting Saturday in Philadelphia. The teams last met in the postseason in 2009, when the Phillies beat the Dodgers in the NL Championship Series for the second straight year.

“I know we can win the whole thing,” Betts said. “We’ve got to continue to pitch, timely hitting and play defense, and everything should be OK.”

After hitting a playoff franchise-record-tying five home runs in a 10-5 win in the NL Wild Card Series opener Tuesday, the Dodgers eliminated the Reds by playing small ball and rapping out 13 hits — two fewer than in Game 1. Mookie Betts went 4-for-5 with three doubles, tying Jim Gilliam in Game 4 of the 1953 World Series for most doubles in a postseason game in team history.

After the Reds took a 2-0 lead in the first, Yamamoto retired the next 13 batters.

The Dodgers rallied to take a 3-2 lead before the Japanese right-hander wiggled his way out of a huge jam in the sixth. The Reds loaded the bases with no outs on consecutive singles by TJ Friedl, Spencer Steer and former Dodger Gavin Lux.

Austin Hays grounded into a fielder’s choice to shortstop and Betts fired home, where catcher Ben Rortvedt stepped on the plate to get Friedl. Yamamoto then retired Sal Stewart and Elly De La Cruz on back-to-back swinging strikeouts to end the threat.

“I was just trying to bring my everything out there,” Yamamoto said through an interpreter.

With blue rally towels waving, Yamamoto walked off to a standing ovation from the crowd of 50,465.

“Once he got the two outs, I think he kind of smelled blood right there and was able to attack and get the last out,” Betts said.

Yamamoto got the first two outs of the seventh before leaving to a second ovation. The right-hander gave up two runs, four hits and walked two on a career-high 113 pitches. It was the most pitches by a Dodger in the playoffs since Walker Buehler threw 117 in Game 5 of the 2019 NLDS.

For the second straight night, the fans’ mood soured in the eighth. Reliever Emmet Sheehan gave up two runs, making it 8-4, before the Reds brought the tying run to the plate against Alex Vesia. He got Friedl on a called third strike to end the inning in which Sheehan and Vesia made a combined 41 pitches. On Tuesday, three Dodgers relievers needed 59 pitches to get three outs in the eighth.

Rookie Roki Sasaki pitched a perfect ninth, striking out Steer and Lux on pitches that touched 101 mph.

The Dodgers stranded runners in each of the first five innings, but they took a 3-2 lead on Enrique Hernández‘s RBI double and Miguel Rojas‘ RBI single that hit the first-base line to chase Reds starter Zack Littell.

Shohei Ohtani‘s RBI single leading off the sixth ended an 0-for-9 skid against Reds reliever Nick Martinez. Betts added an RBI double down the third-base line and Teoscar Hernández had a two-run double that extended the lead to 7-2.

It was Betts’ third postseason game with four or more hits as a Dodger; nobody else in franchise history has more than one.

Yamamoto could have had a scoreless first, but Teoscar Hernández dropped a ball hit by Hays that would have been the third out. Hernández hugged Yamamoto in the dugout after the Japanese star left the game.

Stewart’s two-run RBI single with two outs eluded a diving Freddie Freeman at first for a 2-0 lead. It was Cincinnati’s first lead in a postseason game since Game 3 of the 2012 NLDS against San Francisco.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

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Machado makes Cubs pay for Imanaga ‘mistake’

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Machado makes Cubs pay for Imanaga 'mistake'

CHICAGO — Cubs manager Craig Counsell defended his decision to leave lefty Shota Imanaga in the game to face righty Manny Machado in the fifth inning of the San Diego Padresvictory in Game 2 of the NL Wild Card Series on Wednesday.

Machado hit a first pitch splitter for a two-run home run, extending the Padres’ lead to 3-0, the eventual final score.

A deciding Game 3 will be at Wrigley Field on Thursday.

“The results suggest that we should have done something different,” Counsell said after the loss. “Really just confidence in Shota, plain and simple there. I thought he was pitching well. I thought he was throwing the ball really well and, unfortunately, he made a mistake.”

The decision came after Fernando Tatis Jr. walked and then took second on Luis Arraez‘s sacrifice bunt. That created an open base. Counsell said he considered walking Machado but decided to pitch to him instead.

“Walking him wasn’t in my head,” Imanaga said through an interpreter. “That splitter was meant for down in the zone.”

Counsell had righty Mike Soroka ready, but he decided against going to him. It was a curious move, considering the Cubs used an opener to start Game 2, purposely allowing Imanaga to avoid facing Tatis and Machado in the first inning.

That wasn’t the case in the fifth.

“I don’t put a manager’s cap on,” Machado said when asked if he was surprised that he got to face Imanaga in that situation. “I’m 0-for-6 at that point. So yeah, I’m not thinking about that. For myself, I was just thinking about trying to get to Imanaga.”

Said Padres manager Mike Shildt: “I’ve got my hands full with my own club. I can’t be thinking about anybody else’s strategy.”

The teams will play a winner-take-all Game 3 on Thursday. The Padres will start former Cubs pitcher Yu Darvish. Righty Jameson Taillon will take the hill for Chicago.

“I’m excited,” Taillon said. “As [Game 2] got going there, I started to get excited for tomorrow. You do a lot of work throughout the season for big moments. I’m looking forward to it.”

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Yanks force G3 on Chisholm’s mad dash home

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Yanks force G3 on Chisholm's mad dash home

NEW YORK — Jazz Chisholm Jr. zipped all the way home from first base on Austin Wells‘ tiebreaking single in the eighth inning, and the New York Yankees extended their season Wednesday night with a 4-3 victory over the Boston Red Sox in Game 2 of their AL Wild Card Series.

Unhappy he was left out of the starting lineup in the opener, Chisholm also made a critical defensive play at second base that helped the Yankees send the best-of-three playoff to a decisive Game 3 on Thursday night in the Bronx.

“What a game. I mean, it has been two great games, these first two,” New York manager Aaron Boone said. “A lot of big plays on both sides.”

In the latest chapter of baseball’s most storied rivalry, the winner advances to face AL East champion Toronto in a best-of-five division series beginning Saturday. It will be the fourth winner-take-all postseason game between the Yankees and Red Sox, and the first since the 2021 AL wild card, a one-game format won by Boston.

“Should be a fun night,” Red Sox manager Alex Cora said.

Ben Rice hit an early two-run homer and Aaron Judge had an RBI single for the Yankees, who received three innings of scoreless relief from their shaky bullpen after starter Carlos Rodón put the first two batters on in the seventh.

Devin Williams worked a one-hit eighth for the win, and David Bednar got three outs for his first postseason save. Judge pumped his fist when he caught Ceddanne Rafaela‘s fly ball on the right-field warning track to end it.

Trevor Story homered and drove in all three runs for the Red Sox, who won the series opener 3-1 on Tuesday night behind ace lefty Garrett Crochet.

With the score tied in the seventh, Chisholm saved a run with a diving stop of an infield single by pinch hitter Masataka Yoshida.

“Unbelievable play,” Rice said. “That’s what you are going to get from him — just a guy who will give 110% every play.”

Story then flied out with the bases loaded to the edge of the center-field warning track to end the inning, and fired-up reliever Fernando Cruz waved his arms wildly to pump up the crowd.

“I almost got out of his way,” Boone said, drawing laughs. “There’s a passion that he does his job with, and it spilled over a little bit tonight. I am glad it was the end of his evening at that point.”

Said Rice: “I felt like I could see every vein popping out of his head.”

Chisholm also made a tough play to start an inning-ending double play with two on in the third — the first of three timely double plays turned by the Yankees.

“He’s a game-changer,” Judge said. “He showed up at the park today and had the biggest plays for us.”

There were two outs in the eighth when Chisholm drew a walk from losing pitcher Garrett Whitlock. Chisholm was running on a full-count pitch when Wells pulled a line drive that landed just inside the right-field line and caromed off the low retaining wall in foul territory.

Right fielder Nate Eaton made a strong, accurate throw to the plate, but the speedy Chisholm beat it with a headfirst slide as Wells pumped his arms at first base.

“Any ball that an outfielder moves to his left or right, I have to score, in my head,” Chisholm said. “That’s all I was thinking.”

With the Yankees threatening in the third, Boston manager Alex Cora lifted starter Brayan Bello from his first postseason outing and handed the game to a parade of relievers who held New York in check until the eighth.

Hard-throwing rookie Cam Schlittler (4-3, 2.96 ERA) will start Game 3 for New York, and rookie left-hander Connelly Early (1-2, 2.33 ERA) will pitch for Boston in place of injured Lucas Giolito. It will be the second winner-take-all game in MLB postseason history in which both starting pitchers are rookies.

Schlittler, 24, grew up in Boston, where he attended Northeastern University, but has said he always wanted to play for the Yankees. Early has made four major league starts since his debut on Sept. 9.

Information from The Associated Press and ESPN Research was used in this report.

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