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Inspirational thought of the week:

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up … when September ends

“Wake Me Up When September Ends,” Green Day

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located somewhere in the middle of a blue-and-red demonstration protesting the absence of the Artists Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks from the AP Top 25, we are staring at the college football standings and wondering aloud how in the wide, wide world of sports that September went down the way that it did. And we mean down in the most literal of senses.

• 3 teams with zero wins

• 27 teams with one win

• 7 teams with four losses

• 31 teams with three losses

• 12 losses by top-15 teams

• All that stuff App State did

• All the stuff App State didn’t do, too

As the autumnal air begins to cool and the hues of the fall foliage ignite their transformation into a kaleidoscope of colors, what lies beneath is a spaghetti pile. While others are focused on the spectacular eye-popping cavalcade of conference champions, College Football Playoff contenders and Heisman Trophy finalists, we instead have dutifully snatched up our rakes to dig down past those annoying fronds, petals and needles. Down to the mulch and mud that makes up the foundation of what makes those others so annoyingly great. Without us, there would be no them. It’s the Circle of Life. We just happen to be the part of the circle that drifts downward from the treetops, destined to be trodden upon by the cleats of others.

Don’t worry. We’ll see them all down here with us at some point. For into every fall some teams must, well, fall. No matter how high they once soared or how tall their stalks once grew. Amirite, Nebraska?

With apologies to Ryan Leaf, Billie Joe Armstrong and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 4 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Colora-duh State (0-4)

The Rams extended their FBS-worst losing streak to 10 games after a 41-10 loss at home to Sacramento State. For the FCS Hornets of the Big Sky Conference, it marked just their second win over an FBS program in 25 tries, though sources tell the Bottom 10 JortsCenter news desk that a petition has been filed to have that “win over an FBS program” distinction removed because, hey, does Colorado State really qualify?

2. Colora-duh (0-4)

Meanwhile, the Buffs also Ralphie-d up their fourth loss of the year, spurring state officials to explore putting together a last-minute edition of the Rocky Mountain Showdown, which is not being played this season. However, instead of holding the contest inside Empower Field, home of the Denver Broncos, it would be played next door in the parking lot where Mile High Stadium used to be.

3. Huh-Why?-Yuh (1-4)

The Warriors lost Pillow Fight of the Week: Episode I at New Mexico State 45-26. No offense to San Diego State and Nevada, but our eyes are already on Hawai’i’s Oct. 22 trip to Colorado State. We tried to get a hotel room in Fort Collins for that weekend, but it’s all booked up. We’re assuming that’s College GameDay planning ahead.

4. UMess (1-3)

The Minutemen were edged out by Temple of Doom in Pillow Fight of the Week Part Deux 28-0. Now they face the Eastern Michigan University Emus, who just lost to the team that was ranked ninth in last week’s Bottom 10, the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills, in a similar squeaker, 50-31. Speaking of Indiana Jones references…

5. Ark of We Lost to Raiders

If you played a team with a chromatic version of the Raiders as their mascot, you were doomed, even if you were ranked in the Top 25, amid broken-record cries of “They’re back!” The Miami Hurricanes were stunned by the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders 45-31, and the Texas Longhorns fell to the Texas Tech Red Raiders 37-34. Elsewhere, the Mount Union Purple Raiders defeated Muskingum 59-0, and while the Rutgers-Newark Scarlet Raiders don’t have football, their futbol team beat Stockton 3-1. And over on Disney+, Luke Skywalker once again got his butt kicked by the Tusken Raiders.

6. U-Can’t (1-4)

A week after surrendering five touchdown runs to Michigan’s Blake Corum, the Huskies olé’d four TD passes by NC State’s Devin Leary. Records obtained by the Bottom 10’s investigative unit have revealed that former UConn coach Randy Edsall reached out to current UConn boss Jim Mora Jr. via email under the subject line “Congrats!” A confused Mora responded with “For what?” Edsall then apologized, explaining that he had assumed Mora’s contract with the university was like his and included a “helped opponent’s star’s NFL draft status” clause calling for a $10,000 bonus.

7. Akronmonious (1-3)

After suffering smackdowns to ranked Power 5 opponents Michigan State and Tennessee, the Zips pulled to within 2 points against Liberty before falling short 21-12. That sets up a rare in-conference PFOW Double Goozle, as Akron hosts Boiling Green in a #MACtion East throwdown of 1-3 teams, kicking off just as our next contenders should be approaching halftime …

8. Baller State (1-3)

The House of Cards hosts the Northern Ill-ugh-noise Other Huskies in another clash of 1-3 #MACtion squads, this time in the West. If Ball State were to lose, it would move on to meet another current 1-3 MAC team in Central Michigan, followed by another set of Huskies in UConn on Oct. 15, followed by Bottom 10 Waiting List member Eastern Michigan and then State of Kent, also currently 1-3. Aw, who are we kidding? No one can keep up with all of this. So, until we tell you otherwise, just assume that any MAC team you see right now is 1-3 because eight of its dozen teams are, and the other four are 2-2.

9. Whew Mexico State (1-4)

Speaking of baller moves, how about the Other Aggies checking in first thing Sunday morning to make sure we had seen their score from Hawai’i? With Bottom 10 Waiting Listers FI(not A)U coming to Las Cruces this weekend, might New Mexico State be moving on to greener pastures, er, browner deserts?

10. Wrambling Reck (1-3)

Georgia Tech leaps over next-door neighbor Georgia State Not Southern to take over this place in the rankings that was occupied by Nebraska two weeks ago and Arizona State one week ago, aka the designated We Just Fired Our Coach In September spot. We checked the Bottom 10 rulebook and once we got the ketchup-saturated pages pulled apart, it did say that a school that fires its coach after a weekend that begins in September but ends in October is still required to take this spot, should such an occurrence take place next week. Oddly enough, that old rulebook, with a sticky note saying “CHECK THIS OUT,” was delivered to us in a box postmarked “Auburn, Ala.”

Waiting list: Georgia State Not Southern, North by Northwestern, Fres-No State, Arizona Skate, Charlotte 1-and-4’ers, US(not C)F, BC Headache Powders, No-braska, Lose-iana Tech, FI(not A)U, Temple of Doom, Utah State Other Other Aggies, Arkansaw State, see earlier note about the MAC.

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Cindric wins at Talladega, dons victory wreath

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Cindric wins at Talladega, dons victory wreath

TALLADEGA, Ala. — Austin Cindric celebrated his first win of the season by wearing Talladega’s Superspeedway traditional victory wreath all around the track.

A wreath like he just won the Indianapolis 500.

He thought so, too.

“Feels like I just won the Indy 500,” he said of Sunday’s NASCAR race. “I’m trying to walk on the plane with this.”

Cindric wasn’t even concerned how such a gesture might be received by Team Penske teammate Joey Logano, who raged on his radio after the second stage when Cindric didn’t push him and it allowed Bubba Wallace in a Toyota to win the segment and its valuable bonus points.

“Way to go Austin,” seethed Logano, who used multiple expletives in his anger over his Penske radio. “You just gave it to him. Gave a Toyota a stage win. Nice job. Way to go … put that in the book.”

Cindric was unconcerned by the idea Logano might take issue with the wreath on the Penske plane.

“I think that would be very immature,” Cindric said. “I don’t see him doing that. We’ll see.”

It was a celebratory day for Cindric, who gave Team Penske its first NASCAR victory of the season by holding off a huge pack of challengers over the closing lap in a rare drama-free day at Talladega Superspeedway.

“Rock on, guys,” Cindric said over his radio. “Rock and roll. Let’s go!”

Ford drivers went 1-2, with Ryan Preece finishing second. But Preece and Logano were disqualified following postrace inspections because of spoiler infractions. Logano had crossed the finish line in fifth.

After the DQ’s, Kyle Larson moved up to second and William Byron third for Hendrick Motorsports. The two Chevrolet drivers pushed Cindric and Preece from the second row rather than pull out of line on the final lap and make a third lane in an attempt to win.

It was Larson’s best career finish at Talladega, where drafting and pack racing is required and neither suits his style. He said he wanted to make a move to try to take the win from Cindric but there was never any room.

“I wanted to take it but I felt like the gap was too big,” Larson said. “I was just stuck inside and just doing everything I could to advance our lane and maybe open it up to where I then could get to the outside. But we were all just pushing so equally that it kept the lanes jammed up.”

Noah Gragson ended up fourth in a Ford, while Hendrick driver Chase Elliott was fifth – two spots ahead of teammate Alex Bowman, with Carson Hocevar of Spire Motorsports sandwiched in between them. Wallace was the highest-finishing Toyota driver in eighth.

Cindric led five times but for only seven of the 188 laps in an unusually calm race for chaotic Talladega. The track last fall recorded the largest crash in the NASCAR history when 28 cars were collected in a demolition derby with four laps remaining.

On Sunday, there were only four cautions — two for stage breaks — totaling 22 laps. It was the fourth consecutive Talladega race with only four cautions, the two for stage breaks and the two for natural cautions.

But, Sunday featured season-highs in lead changes (67) among different drivers (23). Only five cars failed to finish from the 40-car field, and a whopping 30 drivers finished on the lead lap.

Cindric marked the 10th consecutive different winner at Talladega, extending the track record of no repeat winners. And, by the time it was over, Logano seemed to have calmed down.

“About time one of us wins these things,” Logano said of the Penske trio. “When you think about the amount of laps led by Team Penske and Ford in general, just haven’t been able to close. To see a couple of Fords on the front row duking it out, I wish one of them was me, in a selfish way. But it’s good to see those guys running up there and being able to click one off.”

Larson sets NASCAR record for stage wins

When he won the first stage at Talladega, it was the 67th of Larson’s career and made him NASCAR’s all-time stage winner. He broke a tie with Martin Truex Jr. with the stage win.

Stages were introduced in 2017 as a way to ensure natural breaks during races that allowed fans to rush to the bathroom or concession stand without missing any action. Cars typically make a pit stop during a stage break.

Teammate-on-teammate collision

Joe Gibbs Racing drivers Christopher Bell and Denny Hamlin, who combined to win five of the first nine races this season, had a collision on a restart that ensured Bell would not win his fourth race of the season.

It happened in the first stage of the race with Bell on the front row next to Chris Buescher on his inside, and with Hamlin behind him. As the cars revved to get up to speed at the green flag, Hamlin ran into the back of Bell, which caused him to turn into Buescher and create the second caution of the race.

Bell went to the garage, where he joined Ryan Blaney, Buescher and Brad Keselowski, all betting favorites who were done for the day before the end of the first stage.

“What in the hell? Man, apologies if that’s on me,” Hamlin radioed. “We weren’t even up to speed yet. I don’t know why that would have wrecked him. When he shot down to the bottom, I wasn’t even sure I was actually on him.”

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NASCAR races next week at Texas Motor Speedway, where Elliott scored his only win of the 2024 season last April.

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Fan ejected after taunting Red Sox OF Duran

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Fan ejected after taunting Red Sox OF Duran

CLEVELAND — Jarren Duran has found plenty of support from his Boston Red Sox teammates and others since he revealed in a Netflix documentary that he attempted suicide three years ago.

However, Duran said Sunday that a fan in the front row near the Red Sox dugout in Cleveland said “something inappropriate” to him after the All-Star left fielder flied out in the seventh inning of a 13-3 victory over the Guardians.

Duran stayed on the top step of the dugout and glared at the fan as the inning played out. During the seventh-inning stretch, before the singing of “God Bless America,” Red Sox teammates and coaches kept Duran away from the area as umpires and Progressive Field security personnel gathered to handle the situation.

The fan tried to run up the aisle but was caught by security and taken out of the stadium.

“The fan just said something inappropriate. I’m just happy that the security handled it and the umpires were aware of it and they took care of it for me,” Duran said.

After the game, the Guardians released a statement apologizing to the Red Sox and Duran. The team said it had identified the fan and was working with Major League Baseball on next steps.

Duran said it was the first time he was taunted by a fan about his suicide attempt and mental health struggles since the Netflix series “The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox” was released April 8.

“When you open yourself up like that, you also open yourself up to the enemies. But I have a good support staff around me, teammates, coaches. There were fans that were supporting me, so that was awesome,” he said.

Boston manager Alex Cora was in the opposite corner of the Red Sox dugout but lauded security for how the incident was handled.

Cora was even prouder of Duran’s restraint. Duran was suspended for two games last season when he directed an anti-gay slur at a heckling fan at Fenway Park when the fan shouted that Duran needed a tennis racket to hit.

“There’s a two-way street. That’s something I said last year. We made a mistake last year, and we learned from it. We grew up, you know, as an individual and as a group,” Cora said.

Sunday’s incident dampened what had been a solid game and series for Duran. He went 4-for-6 with an RBI and had at least three hits in consecutive games for the second time in his career.

In Saturday’s doubleheader nightcap, Duran had Boston’s first straight steal of home plate in 16 years.

Duran went 7-for-15 with three RBIs as Boston took two of three games in the weekend series. Six of his hits in the series came against lefties after Duran was just 3-for-31 against southpaws coming into the weekend.

“I’ve been getting some good swings on lefties lately, just hitting it right at guys. I’m trying to stay with my process, and it just happened to work good for me this series. So, I’m just going to keep at it,” said Duran, who has hit safely in 13 of his past 14 games and is batting .323 (20-for-62) with eight extra-base hits, including a home run, and six RBIs during that span.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Sources: Tkachuk dodges discipline, will play G4

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Sources: Tkachuk dodges discipline, will play G4

Florida Panthers forward Matthew Tkachuk will not receive supplemental discipline for his hit on Tampa Bay Lightning forward Jake Geuntzel in Game 3, sources told ESPN on Sunday.

Tkachuk’s hit, in the third period of his team’s 5-1 loss, received a five-minute major. According to sources, the NHL Department of Player Safety determined that was enough, considering Guentzel had recently touched the puck and Tkachuk didn’t make contact with Guentzel’s head.

The department also believed that the force in which Tkachuk hit Guentzel was far lesser than the hit Tampa’s Brandon Hagel made on Florida captain Aleksander Barkov in Game 2, which earned Hagel a one game suspension.

The plays led both coaches to trade jabs in the media. After Barkov went down in Game 2, Florida Panthers coach Paul Maurice said: “The only players we hit are the one with pucks.”

Barkov missed the end of the third period, but played in Game 3. Game 4 is Monday at Amerant Bank Arena.

At his postgame press conference, following Tkachuk’s hit on Guentzel, Tampa Bay coach Jon Cooper deadpanned the exact same line as Maurice.

Tkachuk leads the series in scoring with three goals and an assist through three games. Guentzel has two goals and two assists for Tampa Bay.

The Battle of Florida is living up to the billing as one of the most contentious rivalries in hockey; either Tampa or Florida has made it to the Stanley Cup Final in each of the last five seasons.

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