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Inspirational thought of the week:

You’re not in Kansas anymore
Can’t be too careful that’s for sure
City lights will lead you on
Morning comes and they’ll be gone
So, write my number on your wall
And call me anytime at all
I’m so happy now, boy
You’re not in Kansas anymore

— “You’re Not in Kansas Anymore” Jo Dee Messina

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the safe where Mike Leach keeps the $10,000 per kid he offered for them to elope and none took it, we have spent this first week of October watching and rewatching “The Wizard of Oz” while simultaneously listening to “Dust in the Wind” and sniffing a sunflower while also gnawing on a barbecue rib.

Why? Because after spending so many years of watching bad football played in a stadium as barren as the Great Plains that surround it, now the entire college football world is migrating to Lawrence, Kansas, to see the 5-0, 19th-ranked Artists Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks … and we aren’t invited.

I mean, you’d think College GameDay would at least call and ask us to sit with the Bear and provide some perspective gleaned from remaining dedicated to keeping tabs on a team that won 23 games over the dozen seasons before this one, right? A team that was as much a part of these rankings as Pillow Fights of the Week, the Coveted Fifth Spot and making fun of Randy Edsall. A program that was so bad for so long that we have annually included former head coach Charlie Weis on our Bottom 10 Playoff Selection Committee.

You really think Rece Davis has spent as much time watching Kansas over the past decade? OK, that’s a bad example. Rece watches every game and knows every player’s name and where they grew up and what their parents do for a living … but you get the point here, don’t you?

Though we may not be invited, we will be watching from afar. Like a dad on that pivotal day of high school when his child first turns to him and says, “Just drop me off at the corner and I’ll walk from there. I’m a cool kid now and I don’t want you to embarrass me.”

OK, Big Jay, have fun eating lunch at the middle table in the cafeteria with the cheerleaders and lettermen. Just know that when you inevitably snort milk through your beak when you laugh or trip over your own claws or fail to cover against the TCU Horned Frogs, the Plastics will once again turn on you. And we’ll be waiting around the corner, the ones in the repossessed U-Haul truck with bald tires, Kansas plates and the “2008 Insight Bowl Champions” bumper sticker.

With apologies to Paul Rudd, Mandy Patinkin and L. Frank Baum, here’s our post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Colora-duh (0-5)

The Buffs take over the top spot, running past their instate rivals faster than Ralphie now sprints back to his trailer asking to get the hell out of Boulder and go back to his barn. Why? Because they fired not just the head coach, but the defensive coordinator as well. The interim head coach is offensive coordinator Mike Sanford, whom we all remember as the guy who led the Western Kentucky Hillstoppers to a spot in these rankings in 2018. Mike Sanford is actually Mike Sanford Jr., son of Mike Sanford, who coached unLv to multiple Bottom 10 rankings in the mid-2000’s. That whole paragraph reads better if you go back and read it aloud while also playing the theme from “Sanford and Son.”

2. Colora-duh State (0-4)

The Rams followed up their stunning Week 4 loss to Sacramento State with an even more shocking 21-3 loss to Open Date.

3. Huh-Why?-Yuh (1-4)

The Warriors managed to escape their own defeat against the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U., but only because the visitors fell asleep on the beach.

4. Fres-No State (1-4)

How does a team jump/fall from the trailing edge of the Bottom 10 Waiting List all the way to No. 4? By losing on the road at UCan’t after being favored to defeat the Huskies by 23 points, that’s how. So, it takes over this spot that was occupied by Connecticut one week ago and UConn — wait … did UConn leave the Bottom 10 and move onto the Waiting List? That’s even more depressing than the whole Kansas thing!

5. The 13th Man (3-2)

Jimbo Fisher is slated to make $90 million over the next 10 years. In related news, $90 million was also the reported production budget for 2019’s movie version of “Cats.”

6. UMess (1-4)

The Minutemen fell to a former Bottom 10 regular, the Eastern Michigan University Emus. Over the remainder of the season, UMess will run through a banana peel gauntlet of current Bottom 10 contenders from Whew Mexico State and Arkansaw State to UCan’t and … oh looky there on Nov. 19 … it’s Texas A&M! Meanwhile, EMU faces Western Michigan before hosting…

7. Northern Ill-ugh-noise (1-4)

The Other Huskies were upset by Baller State in a clash of then-1-3 teams, the first act of a two-act Pillow Fight of the Week #MACtion Double Feature. Now everything that transpires in the MAC feels like a muddy trudge to a regular season finale that is sure to put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving, a Nov. 26 visit from…

8. Akronmonious (1-4)

The Zips lost by three at home to fellow 1-3 MAC daddy Boiling Green. Now they play Ohio Not Ohio State, which has won 13 of the past 14 against Akron. Oddly, Akron and Ohio don’t have any sort of rivalry trophy, despite being in the same state, only three hours apart. Akron and Kent State have the Wagon Wheel. Maybe Ohio and Akron should have the Wheelhouse, as in, “Here at Ohio, beating Akron is always in our Wheelhouse.”

9. Charlotte 1-and-5ers

It could be worse. They could be Charlotte’s other football team, the Carolina Panthers.

10. Whew Mexico State (1-4)

The Other Aggies made a statement by beating Hawai’i and leaving the top bottom spot in these rankings. But then they made another statement by losing to Bottom 10 Waiting Listers FI(not A)U at home. What kind of statement will they make this weekend when they play no one? Because you could make a pretty good argument that they already played no one over the past two weeks and they still only hit .500.

Waiting List: U-Can’t, US(not C)F, Georgia State Not Southern, Arizona Skate, Strandford, FI(notA)U, Utah State Other Other Aggies, Lose-iana Tech, firing a guy who had you in the Rose Bowl like 10 minutes ago.

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Rule changes let Castroneves enter Daytona 500

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Rule changes let Castroneves enter Daytona 500

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Four-time Indianapolis 500 winner Helio Castroneves claimed a spot in the season-opening Daytona 500 as part of a slew of rule changes NASCAR announced Friday.

Castroneves is guaranteed a spot in the field under a new provision that earmarks a starting position for what NASCAR called “world-class drivers” who enter a Cup Series race. Before the Friday change, Castroneves was going to either have to earn his spot in the 40-car field on speed in time trials or finishing position in a qualifying race.

If he failed to do either, the Brazilian would be in the field as a 41st car and four open spots would still remain for drivers hoping to race in the Feb. 16 “Great American Race.” Castroneves will be driving for Trackhouse Racing in his NASCAR debut at age 49.

Under the new rule, if the provisional is used, the driver/car owner will not be eligible for race points, playoff points or prize money. Cars that finish below the driver who uses the provisional will have their finishing position adjusted upward one spot and also have their prize money, race points and stage points adjusted.

If the provisional car wins a race and/or stage, that car will be credited with the race win. It will not count toward playoff eligibility. The second-place finisher will inherit first-place points, but will not receive playoff points or playoff eligibility.

Among other changes issued Friday:

Playoff waivers: NASCAR said if a driver misses a race for anything besides a medical emergency, the driver will forfeit all current and future playoff points and will start the playoffs with a maximum of 2,000 points.

Covered under medical emergency would be emergencies for the driver, the birth of a child or a family emergency, as well as age restrictions.

It means that Kyle Larson, who is scheduled to again race in both the Indianapolis 500 and the Coca-Cola 600 for a second consecutive year, must return from Indiana to North Carolina and compete in the Cup race. It was a point of contention last year when rain delayed the 500 in Indy, Larson was late to arrive in North Carolina for the 600, and by the time he got to the track, rain had stopped that race.

Larson never got to compete in the Coca-Cola 600, and NASCAR hemmed and hawed for a lengthy amount of time before finally granting him a waiver.

Waivers previously came with no penalties such as the loss of playoff points.

Penalties to manufacturers: After the penultimate race at Martinsville Speedway was marred last year by allegations of manufacturers banding together to push their drivers into the championship race, NASCAR vowed to look at how it can stop such manipulation in the future.

NASCAR said that, moving forward, violations by manufacturers may result in the loss of manufacturers points, and/or loss of wind tunnel hours. NASCAR will assess such penalties for violation of the vehicle testing policy, wind tunnel policy, event roster and code of conduct.

Performance obligation: NASCAR did not give many details on this change other than “verbiage around the 100% rule is replaced with a focus on ‘manipulating’ the outcome of an event/championship.”

Practice and qualifying: New practice and qualifying procedures were formally added to the rulebook. Group practice goes from 20 to 25 minutes; single-round qualifying at all tracks but superspeedways, which will have a final round for 10 cars; and starting position is determined solely by qualifying results instead of row-by-row designation based on which qualifying group the car was in.

Suspension deferral: NASCAR said all suspensions that are a result of a technical penalty can be deferred without appeal for the next race following a penalty. All other suspensions are effective immediately.

Damaged vehicle policy: NASCAR has altered this policy for the Cup Series after many complaints about how the rule was applied last year.

Vehicles on the DVP clock may drive to the garage or be towed to the garage and will not be ruled out of the race. Previously, if a car on the DVP clock was towed to the garage or drove to the garage, it was out of the race.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

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Effort to unionize college athletes hits road block

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Effort to unionize college athletes hits road block

The legal efforts to unionize college athletes appear to be running out of steam this month as a new Republican-led administration gets set to take over the federal agency in charge of ruling on employment cases.

A players’ advocacy group who filed charges against the NCAA, Pac-12 and USC that would have potentially opened the door for college players to form a union decided Friday to withdraw its complaint. Their case – which was first filed in February 2022 – was one of two battles against the NCAA taken up by the National Labor Relations Board in recent years. Earlier this week, an administrative law judge closed the other case, which was filed by men’s basketball players at Dartmouth.

The National College Players Association, which filed its complaint on behalf of USC athletes, said the recent changes in state law and NCAA rules that are on track to allow schools to directly pay their players starting this summer caused them to reconsider their complaint.

“[T]he NCPA believes that it is best to provide adequate time for the college sports industry to transition into this new era before football and basketball players employee status is ruled upon,” the organization’s founder Ramogi Huma wrote in the motion to withdraw.

The NCAA and its four power conferences agreed to the terms of a legal settlement this summer that will allow schools to spend up to roughly $20.5 million on direct payments to their athletes starting next academic year. The deal is scheduled to be finalized in April.

College sports leaders, including NCAA President Charlie Baker, have remained steadfast in their belief that athletes should not be considered employees of their schools during a period when college sports have moved closer to a professionalized model.

Some industry stakeholders believe that the richest schools in college sports will need to collectively bargain with athletes to put an end to the current onslaught of legal challenges facing the industry. Currently, any collective bargaining would have to happen with a formal union to provide sufficient legal protection. Some members of Congress say they are discussing the possibility of creating a special status for college sports that would allow collective bargaining without employment. However, Congressional aides familiar with ongoing negotiations told ESPN that influential Republican leaders in Congress are firmly against the idea.

The NLRB’s national board previously declined to make a ruling on whether college athletes should be employees in 2015 when a group of football players at Northwestern attempted to unionize. Jennifer Abruzzo, the agency’s leader during the Biden administration, signaled an interest in taking up the athletes’ fight to unionize early in her tenure. Abruzzo is not expected to remain as the NLRB’s general counsel during Donald Trump’s presidency.

Under Abruzzo, the agency’s regional offices pushed both the Dartmouth and USC cases forward in the past year. Dartmouth players got far enough to vote in favor of forming a union in March 2024, but were still in the appeals process when they decided to end their effort last month.

The only remaining legal fight over employee status in college sports is a federal lawsuit known as Johnson v. NCAA. That case claims the association is violating the Fair Labor Standards Act, which does not guarantee the right to unionize but instead would give athletes some basic employee rights such as minimum wage and overtime pay. That case is currently working its way through the legal process in the Third Circuit federal court.

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LSU’s Lacy facing charges related to fatal crash

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LSU's Lacy facing charges related to fatal crash

Louisiana State Police have issued an arrest warrant for former LSU receiver Kyren Lacy, who is accused of causing a fatal crash that killed a 78-year-old man on Dec. 17 and then fleeing the scene without rendering aid or calling authorities.

Louisiana State Police said on Friday that Lacy will be charged with negligent homicide, felony hit-and-run and reckless operation of a vehicle.

Police said they have been in contact with Lacy and his attorney to turn himself in.

According to a news release from state police, Lacy was allegedly driving a 2023 Dodge Charger on Louisiana Highway 20 and “recklessly passed multiple vehicles at a high rate of speed by crossing the centerline and entering the northbound lane while in a designated no-passing zone.”

“As Lacy was illegally passing the other vehicles, the driver of a northbound pickup truck abruptly braked and swerved to the right to avoid a head-on collision with the approaching Dodge,” a Louisiana State Police news release said.

“Traveling behind the pickup was a 2017 Kia Cadenza whose driver swerved left to avoid the oncoming Dodge Charger. As the Kia Cadenza took evasive action to avoid impact with the Dodge, it crossed the centerline and collided head-on with a southbound 2017 Kia Sorento.”

Police alleged that Lacy, 24, drove around the crash scene and fled “without stopping to render aid, call emergency services, or report his involvement in the crash.”

Herman Hall, 78, of Thibodaux, Louisiana, who was a passenger in the Kia Sorrento, later died from injuries suffered in the crash, according to state police.

The drivers of the Cadenza and Sorento also sustained moderate injuries, according to police.

Lacy played two seasons at Louisiana before transferring to LSU in 2022. This past season, he had 58 catches for 866 yards with nine touchdowns and declared for the NFL draft on Dec. 19, two days after the crash.

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