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Inspirational thought of the week:

You’re not in Kansas anymore
Can’t be too careful that’s for sure
City lights will lead you on
Morning comes and they’ll be gone
So, write my number on your wall
And call me anytime at all
I’m so happy now, boy
You’re not in Kansas anymore

— “You’re Not in Kansas Anymore” Jo Dee Messina

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the safe where Mike Leach keeps the $10,000 per kid he offered for them to elope and none took it, we have spent this first week of October watching and rewatching “The Wizard of Oz” while simultaneously listening to “Dust in the Wind” and sniffing a sunflower while also gnawing on a barbecue rib.

Why? Because after spending so many years of watching bad football played in a stadium as barren as the Great Plains that surround it, now the entire college football world is migrating to Lawrence, Kansas, to see the 5-0, 19th-ranked Artists Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks … and we aren’t invited.

I mean, you’d think College GameDay would at least call and ask us to sit with the Bear and provide some perspective gleaned from remaining dedicated to keeping tabs on a team that won 23 games over the dozen seasons before this one, right? A team that was as much a part of these rankings as Pillow Fights of the Week, the Coveted Fifth Spot and making fun of Randy Edsall. A program that was so bad for so long that we have annually included former head coach Charlie Weis on our Bottom 10 Playoff Selection Committee.

You really think Rece Davis has spent as much time watching Kansas over the past decade? OK, that’s a bad example. Rece watches every game and knows every player’s name and where they grew up and what their parents do for a living … but you get the point here, don’t you?

Though we may not be invited, we will be watching from afar. Like a dad on that pivotal day of high school when his child first turns to him and says, “Just drop me off at the corner and I’ll walk from there. I’m a cool kid now and I don’t want you to embarrass me.”

OK, Big Jay, have fun eating lunch at the middle table in the cafeteria with the cheerleaders and lettermen. Just know that when you inevitably snort milk through your beak when you laugh or trip over your own claws or fail to cover against the TCU Horned Frogs, the Plastics will once again turn on you. And we’ll be waiting around the corner, the ones in the repossessed U-Haul truck with bald tires, Kansas plates and the “2008 Insight Bowl Champions” bumper sticker.

With apologies to Paul Rudd, Mandy Patinkin and L. Frank Baum, here’s our post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Colora-duh (0-5)

The Buffs take over the top spot, running past their instate rivals faster than Ralphie now sprints back to his trailer asking to get the hell out of Boulder and go back to his barn. Why? Because they fired not just the head coach, but the defensive coordinator as well. The interim head coach is offensive coordinator Mike Sanford, whom we all remember as the guy who led the Western Kentucky Hillstoppers to a spot in these rankings in 2018. Mike Sanford is actually Mike Sanford Jr., son of Mike Sanford, who coached unLv to multiple Bottom 10 rankings in the mid-2000’s. That whole paragraph reads better if you go back and read it aloud while also playing the theme from “Sanford and Son.”

2. Colora-duh State (0-4)

The Rams followed up their stunning Week 4 loss to Sacramento State with an even more shocking 21-3 loss to Open Date.

3. Huh-Why?-Yuh (1-4)

The Warriors managed to escape their own defeat against the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U., but only because the visitors fell asleep on the beach.

4. Fres-No State (1-4)

How does a team jump/fall from the trailing edge of the Bottom 10 Waiting List all the way to No. 4? By losing on the road at UCan’t after being favored to defeat the Huskies by 23 points, that’s how. So, it takes over this spot that was occupied by Connecticut one week ago and UConn — wait … did UConn leave the Bottom 10 and move onto the Waiting List? That’s even more depressing than the whole Kansas thing!

5. The 13th Man (3-2)

Jimbo Fisher is slated to make $90 million over the next 10 years. In related news, $90 million was also the reported production budget for 2019’s movie version of “Cats.”

6. UMess (1-4)

The Minutemen fell to a former Bottom 10 regular, the Eastern Michigan University Emus. Over the remainder of the season, UMess will run through a banana peel gauntlet of current Bottom 10 contenders from Whew Mexico State and Arkansaw State to UCan’t and … oh looky there on Nov. 19 … it’s Texas A&M! Meanwhile, EMU faces Western Michigan before hosting…

7. Northern Ill-ugh-noise (1-4)

The Other Huskies were upset by Baller State in a clash of then-1-3 teams, the first act of a two-act Pillow Fight of the Week #MACtion Double Feature. Now everything that transpires in the MAC feels like a muddy trudge to a regular season finale that is sure to put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving, a Nov. 26 visit from…

8. Akronmonious (1-4)

The Zips lost by three at home to fellow 1-3 MAC daddy Boiling Green. Now they play Ohio Not Ohio State, which has won 13 of the past 14 against Akron. Oddly, Akron and Ohio don’t have any sort of rivalry trophy, despite being in the same state, only three hours apart. Akron and Kent State have the Wagon Wheel. Maybe Ohio and Akron should have the Wheelhouse, as in, “Here at Ohio, beating Akron is always in our Wheelhouse.”

9. Charlotte 1-and-5ers

It could be worse. They could be Charlotte’s other football team, the Carolina Panthers.

10. Whew Mexico State (1-4)

The Other Aggies made a statement by beating Hawai’i and leaving the top bottom spot in these rankings. But then they made another statement by losing to Bottom 10 Waiting Listers FI(not A)U at home. What kind of statement will they make this weekend when they play no one? Because you could make a pretty good argument that they already played no one over the past two weeks and they still only hit .500.

Waiting List: U-Can’t, US(not C)F, Georgia State Not Southern, Arizona Skate, Strandford, FI(notA)U, Utah State Other Other Aggies, Lose-iana Tech, firing a guy who had you in the Rose Bowl like 10 minutes ago.

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Cool it! JMU AD scolds fans for throwing snowballs

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Cool it! JMU AD scolds fans for throwing snowballs

HARRISONBURG, Va. — James Madison athletic director Matt Roan used the public-address microphone to implore Dukes fans to stop throwing snowballs onto the field during the Sun Belt Conference championship game against Troy on Friday night, warning that their actions could cost JMU a penalty.

Roan’s address to the crowd followed an incident that affected the game.

With 4:30 left in the first quarter, Troy’s Evan Crenshaw was nearly hit by a snowball while punting from the end zone with the JMU student section behind him. Crenshaw shanked a 26-yard punt that helped set up the Dukes’ first score, a 40-yard field goal.

Fans in the student section began throwing snowballs during pregame warmups, when the Dukes’ marching band got pelted. They kept it up for most of the first half, despite repeated warnings over the PA system.

Harrisonburg received about 1½ inches of snow Friday, its first measurable snowfall of the season.

No. 19 JMU had an outside shot at making the College Football Playoff field with a win over Troy and a loss by No. 16 Virginia to Duke in Saturday’s Atlantic Coast Conference championship game.

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Cyclones name WSU’s Rogers to replace Campbell

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Cyclones name WSU's Rogers to replace Campbell

Washington State coach Jimmy Rogers has agreed to a six-year deal to become the next coach at Iowa State, the school announced Friday.

Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard moved quickly to replace departing coach Matt Campbell, who agreed to an eight-year deal to take over Penn State on Friday, and landed Rogers, a proven winner at the FCS level who just concluded his first regular season at Washington State.

“Jimmy Rogers is a rising star in college athletics who has very strong ties to the Midwest both as a player and as a coach,” Pollard said in a statement. “He has been on my short-list ever since the first time I met him. He immediately impressed me with his interest in Iowa State University and told me during our first visit several years ago that he wanted to be the next head coach at Iowa State.

“Since our initial meeting, I have stayed in close contact with him and have been very impressed with his work ethic and understanding of what it takes to be successful at Iowa State,” Pollard added. “He is a proven winner who has demonstrated throughout his career that he will fit our culture.”

Rogers, 38, has a 33-9 record over three seasons as a head coach. He went 6-6 in his debut season at Washington State after overseeing a significant roster rebuild following the departure of coach Jake Dickert to Wake Forest.

“My family and I are excited to be joining the Iowa State University community and the Cyclone football program,” Rogers said in a statement. “Iowa State has been one of the nation’s top programs for the last decade and we look forward to building upon its upward trajectory. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity that Jamie Pollard has given me to lead the Cyclones.”

Rogers previously spent 12 years at South Dakota State and led his alma mater to an FCS national championship in 2023 with a 15-0 season in his first year as the Jackrabbits’ head coach after taking over for longtime coach John Stiegelmeier.

Rogers carried a 29-game win streak into his second year as coach and achieved a No. 3 finish in 2024 with a run to the FCS playoff semifinals and a 12-3 season.

The Jackrabbits also won the FCS national championship in 2022 after Rogers was elevated to being the team’s sole defensive coordinator, and they played for another FCS title in 2020.

Campbell, the winningest coach in Iowa State history with 72 victories, led the Cyclones to eight winning seasons during his decade at the helm and two appearances in the Big 12 championship game.

The Cyclones went 8-4 this season and are awaiting their bowl selection on Sunday.

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Diaz: Blue Devils rightfully in ACC title game

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Diaz: Blue Devils rightfully in ACC title game

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Duke coach Manny Diaz says his team has embraced all the doomsday scenarios that have been laid out this week as his 7-5 team prepares to play No. 17 Virginia in the ACC championship game.

If Duke wins the game, there is the possibility the ACC champion would get left out of the 12-team College Football Playoff, as three Group of 5 teams are ranked higher than the Blue Devils. No. 24 North Texas and No. 20 Tulane play in the American title game, while No. 25 James Madison plays Troy in the Sun Belt title game, both on Friday.

“We love it, doomsday scenario and nightmares and this and that the other,” Diaz said. “Our guys deserve to be here. That’s the first thing. There’s a notion that we won a scratch-off lottery-ticket-type deal to get here. We won by the most objective metric possible. We won the second-most games in the league, and everyone else who won the same amount of games that we won, we had the hardest schedule.

“We complain all the time about the subjectivity in college football and rankings and committees and whatnot, and this is the most objective way to determine who the champions are, and the two teams are here that deserve to be here. We’re one of them.”

Duke finished in a five-way tie in the ACC at 6-2. One of the teams that finished in that tie was No. 12 Miami (10-2), a team on the bubble for an at-large CFP berth. The Blue Devils won the fifth tiebreaker, which was conference opponent win percentage. Miami coach Dan Radakovich said earlier in the week the ACC should revisit its championship game tiebreaker policy to ensure the league was putting its “best foot forward.”

Diaz noted his team finished plus-16 in turnover margin in conference games, one of the biggest reasons it is in Charlotte.

The two teams met earlier in November, with Virginia winning 34-17. The top five conference champions are guaranteed a spot in the CFP, regardless of conference. Duke lost three nonconference games, including two on the road to teams outside the Power 4 — at Tulane and at UConn.

Diaz has remained adamant that despite seeing three Group of 5 teams ranked, if his team wins the ACC, it deserves to make the field.

He also noted the point spread in the Big Ten title game between Indiana and Ohio State is the same as the point spread in the ACC title game. Ohio State and Virginia are each favored by 4.

“Those guys in Vegas, they tend to know things,” Diaz said. “No one’s talking about how Indiana doesn’t deserve to be in the Big Ten championship game, because, of course, they do. And I think Duke deserves to be here the same exact way.”

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