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Inspirational thought of the week:

You’re not in Kansas anymore
Can’t be too careful that’s for sure
City lights will lead you on
Morning comes and they’ll be gone
So, write my number on your wall
And call me anytime at all
I’m so happy now, boy
You’re not in Kansas anymore

— “You’re Not in Kansas Anymore” Jo Dee Messina

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the safe where Mike Leach keeps the $10,000 per kid he offered for them to elope and none took it, we have spent this first week of October watching and rewatching “The Wizard of Oz” while simultaneously listening to “Dust in the Wind” and sniffing a sunflower while also gnawing on a barbecue rib.

Why? Because after spending so many years of watching bad football played in a stadium as barren as the Great Plains that surround it, now the entire college football world is migrating to Lawrence, Kansas, to see the 5-0, 19th-ranked Artists Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks … and we aren’t invited.

I mean, you’d think College GameDay would at least call and ask us to sit with the Bear and provide some perspective gleaned from remaining dedicated to keeping tabs on a team that won 23 games over the dozen seasons before this one, right? A team that was as much a part of these rankings as Pillow Fights of the Week, the Coveted Fifth Spot and making fun of Randy Edsall. A program that was so bad for so long that we have annually included former head coach Charlie Weis on our Bottom 10 Playoff Selection Committee.

You really think Rece Davis has spent as much time watching Kansas over the past decade? OK, that’s a bad example. Rece watches every game and knows every player’s name and where they grew up and what their parents do for a living … but you get the point here, don’t you?

Though we may not be invited, we will be watching from afar. Like a dad on that pivotal day of high school when his child first turns to him and says, “Just drop me off at the corner and I’ll walk from there. I’m a cool kid now and I don’t want you to embarrass me.”

OK, Big Jay, have fun eating lunch at the middle table in the cafeteria with the cheerleaders and lettermen. Just know that when you inevitably snort milk through your beak when you laugh or trip over your own claws or fail to cover against the TCU Horned Frogs, the Plastics will once again turn on you. And we’ll be waiting around the corner, the ones in the repossessed U-Haul truck with bald tires, Kansas plates and the “2008 Insight Bowl Champions” bumper sticker.

With apologies to Paul Rudd, Mandy Patinkin and L. Frank Baum, here’s our post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Colora-duh (0-5)

The Buffs take over the top spot, running past their instate rivals faster than Ralphie now sprints back to his trailer asking to get the hell out of Boulder and go back to his barn. Why? Because they fired not just the head coach, but the defensive coordinator as well. The interim head coach is offensive coordinator Mike Sanford, whom we all remember as the guy who led the Western Kentucky Hillstoppers to a spot in these rankings in 2018. Mike Sanford is actually Mike Sanford Jr., son of Mike Sanford, who coached unLv to multiple Bottom 10 rankings in the mid-2000’s. That whole paragraph reads better if you go back and read it aloud while also playing the theme from “Sanford and Son.”

2. Colora-duh State (0-4)

The Rams followed up their stunning Week 4 loss to Sacramento State with an even more shocking 21-3 loss to Open Date.

3. Huh-Why?-Yuh (1-4)

The Warriors managed to escape their own defeat against the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U., but only because the visitors fell asleep on the beach.

4. Fres-No State (1-4)

How does a team jump/fall from the trailing edge of the Bottom 10 Waiting List all the way to No. 4? By losing on the road at UCan’t after being favored to defeat the Huskies by 23 points, that’s how. So, it takes over this spot that was occupied by Connecticut one week ago and UConn — wait … did UConn leave the Bottom 10 and move onto the Waiting List? That’s even more depressing than the whole Kansas thing!

5. The 13th Man (3-2)

Jimbo Fisher is slated to make $90 million over the next 10 years. In related news, $90 million was also the reported production budget for 2019’s movie version of “Cats.”

6. UMess (1-4)

The Minutemen fell to a former Bottom 10 regular, the Eastern Michigan University Emus. Over the remainder of the season, UMess will run through a banana peel gauntlet of current Bottom 10 contenders from Whew Mexico State and Arkansaw State to UCan’t and … oh looky there on Nov. 19 … it’s Texas A&M! Meanwhile, EMU faces Western Michigan before hosting…

7. Northern Ill-ugh-noise (1-4)

The Other Huskies were upset by Baller State in a clash of then-1-3 teams, the first act of a two-act Pillow Fight of the Week #MACtion Double Feature. Now everything that transpires in the MAC feels like a muddy trudge to a regular season finale that is sure to put the “thanks” in Thanksgiving, a Nov. 26 visit from…

8. Akronmonious (1-4)

The Zips lost by three at home to fellow 1-3 MAC daddy Boiling Green. Now they play Ohio Not Ohio State, which has won 13 of the past 14 against Akron. Oddly, Akron and Ohio don’t have any sort of rivalry trophy, despite being in the same state, only three hours apart. Akron and Kent State have the Wagon Wheel. Maybe Ohio and Akron should have the Wheelhouse, as in, “Here at Ohio, beating Akron is always in our Wheelhouse.”

9. Charlotte 1-and-5ers

It could be worse. They could be Charlotte’s other football team, the Carolina Panthers.

10. Whew Mexico State (1-4)

The Other Aggies made a statement by beating Hawai’i and leaving the top bottom spot in these rankings. But then they made another statement by losing to Bottom 10 Waiting Listers FI(not A)U at home. What kind of statement will they make this weekend when they play no one? Because you could make a pretty good argument that they already played no one over the past two weeks and they still only hit .500.

Waiting List: U-Can’t, US(not C)F, Georgia State Not Southern, Arizona Skate, Strandford, FI(notA)U, Utah State Other Other Aggies, Lose-iana Tech, firing a guy who had you in the Rose Bowl like 10 minutes ago.

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Daly: NHL players won’t play if Olympic ice unsafe

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Daly: NHL players won't play if Olympic ice unsafe

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly said that if the league’s players feel the quality of the ice at the Olympics in Milan is unsafe, “then we’re not going to play.”

“It’s as simple as that,” Daly told reporters after the NHL board of governors meetings on Monday.

Daly told league owners Monday that he didn’t believe construction issues with the Olympic ice hockey rink were “insurmountable.”

The main hockey arena in Milan is scheduled to be finished Feb. 2. The women’s hockey tournament begins three days later, and the men’s tournament, with NHL players set to participate in the Olympics for the first time in over a decade, begins Feb. 11, leaving very little wiggle room.

The Olympic arenas will feature three games a day for nearly three weeks, which will challenge the resiliency of the ice. Daly categorized the updates the NHL and NHLPA received last week as positive, but said the league was upping its efforts to help see through the arena.

“We have offered and they’re utilizing our ice experts and technicians and outside providers,” Daly said. “We’re basically moving everybody there to try to help get this done in a way that’s acceptable for NHL athletes. And I’m cautiously optimistic it will be fruitful.”

The NHL will have ongoing access to the ice. That will include being on site for a test event scheduled for the main rink from Jan. 9-11.

On Monday, the IIHF acknowledged the two rinks in Milan would be about 3 feet shorter than a standard NHL rink (196.85 feet by 85.3 feet, instead of 200 feet by 85 feet) — which goes against the agreement the NHL and NHLPA signed with the IIHF in July.

Daly said the league found out about the skewed dimensions last week, and he was not sure how it happened. Some federations were made aware earlier, but Daly said nobody raised the issue to him and the league did not notice the difference in several site visits because it wasn’t anything “perceptible to anybody. It’s not like people bring tape measures there.”

But the NHL and NHLPA are willing to look past that for now — though they will insist the rink for the 2030 Olympics in France is built to NHL standards.

“The players association has canvassed the players and apparently they did not believe it to be a big issue, health and safety issue or a competitive issue,” Daly said.

The Pittsburgh Penguins and Nashville Predators played games on a similar-sized rink last month at the Global Series in Sweden; the solution was to move the lines so the missing ice was accounted for in the neutral zone rather than either offensive zone. Daly said they did not receive any feedback from players after those games.

Organizers have insisted there is no Plan B for the Olympic hockey tournament to be held elsewhere if the rink is not ready. Daly said the NHL also doesn’t have a contingency plan yet if it decides the ice is not suitable.

“I mean, it kind of is what it is,” Daly said. “Having said that, if you’re faced with that being the reality, then you have to think about what you do next. “

The NHL will go dark for a two-week period during the Games. Asked if it was possible to reconfigure the schedule if necessary, Daly said he wasn’t sure yet.

“Well, I can’t tell you exactly what we do,” he said. “What I’d say is, I think in emergency-type situations like that in the past, I think we’ve responded appropriately, came up with good solutions and I have no doubt that we’ll be able to come up with good solutions if we’re faced with that.”

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Bruins’ McAvoy nears return after face injury

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Bruins' McAvoy nears return after face injury

Charlie McAvoy is on the road to recovery and close to rejoining the Boston Bruins’ lineup.

Boston’s top defenseman has been sidelined since taking a slap shot to the face from Montreal Canadiens defenseman Noah Dobson on Nov. 15. McAvoy suffered what he recently described as a “linear fracture” to the left side of his face that included, he said, “some displacement, and I lost a lot of teeth on the bottom.”

The blueliner was instructed not to eat solid foods until at least six weeks after suffering the injury. He lost 20 pounds in the first week and a half afterward while relegated to a liquid diet. McAvoy said on Monday that he’s mending nicely now though and, after shedding his noncontact jersey at practice, was looking forward to getting back to work with the Bruins.

“Every day I feel better,” he said. “We’re getting it back. We’re getting the chance to do more, skate more, skate longer, and work out off the ice. All those things. We’re making strides, and I’m healing on the fly.”

McAvoy will be on Boston’s upcoming three-game road trip starting on Tuesday in St. Louis, although it’s still unclear when he’ll get the green light to suit up.

“We’ll see,” said McAvoy when asked if he would be ready to face the Blues. “Going on the trip with the expectation and hoping that some point along the way on the trip I’ll be able to get back in.”

It’s not the first time McAvoy has missed time with a significant injury — he just had shoulder surgery in February after getting hurt while representing Team USA at the 4 Nations Face-Off — but this particular ailment was something entirely new.

“It’s been one of the weirdest injuries I’ve ever had,” he said last week. “The feeling of having so much trauma in your mouth. It’s a wild feeling. But we’re doing everything we can to get back fast.”

McAvoy has been forced to consume only what could be made in a blender. He tried some creative options at first — including pulverized chicken and vegetables — but called that a “nonstarter” and carried on with classic soft foods.

“Soups have been my go-to,” said McAvoy, who has gained back about half of the weight he lost. “Early on a lot of milkshakes and ice cream.”

Considering the force of Dobson’s shot — which knocked McAvoy directly onto his back — the Bruins’ blueliner admitted he “knew right away I was in trouble” and is grateful to finally have enough energy to anchor Boston’s backend again.

McAvoy has 14 points in 19 games this season, while pacing the club in ice time with 23:46 per game. The Bruins are 4-5-0 since McAvoy went down and are currently second in the Atlantic Division.

McAvoy isn’t the only injured party Boston hopes to get back soon. David Pastrnak — the Bruins’ leading scorer — has been out since Nov. 26, but he will be on Boston’s road trip as well with sights set on a return.

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Binnington focused on Blues, not Olympics for now

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Binnington focused on Blues, not Olympics for now

MONTREAL — Jordan Binnington knows the chatter is out there. He’s leaning on the mindset that’s pulled him through tough stretches before.

The goaltender who backstopped Canada at the 4 Nations Face-Off opened the NHL season as the front-runner to start in February’s Milan-Cortina Games. But a sluggish start — for both him and the St. Louis Blues — has raised questions about where he fits in Canada’s Olympic plan.

“I’m aware of what’s going on, and you want to put yourself in the best position to make that team and make it easy for people making the decision,” he told The Canadian Press. “At the same time, I feel like I’ve been around the league for a decent amount of time and I know that if I control my inner world and what I need to do to feel at my best, then the rest will take care of itself. That’s where my focus goes.”

Sunday night was a step in that direction. Binnington made 23 saves in a 4-3 victory over the Montreal Canadiens, thwarting several Grade-A chances — including a last-second look from Canadiens sniper Cole Caufield in the crease — to earn his seventh win this season.

It was a strong outing amid a difficult campaign for the 32-year-old from Ontario, who’s posting career-low stats across the board.

Binnington has a .875 save percentage, ranking 68th leaguewide and sixth-last among goalies with at least 10 games played. His minus-10.86 goals-saved above average, measuring how a goalie compares to the league average, is also fifth-worst according to analytics website Natural Stat Trick.

“Numbers aren’t necessarily where you want them to be,” the 6-foot-2, 172-pound netminder said. “I’ve been approaching it as just focusing on my own process and what I need to feel good at the right time. I’m building my game every day, and that’s all I can do is control what I can control. The more I do that the more things will come out and fall into place.”

Binnington said he hasn’t spoken to Canada’s management team about the Olympic selection less than a month away — Doug Armstrong is both the general manager for St. Louis and the Canadian team.

“We haven’t talked about it at all. I think nothing needs to be said really, just do your job, focus here and the better the St. Louis Blues do, the better that is for that situation as well,” he said.

One thing working in Binnington’s favor is his proven ability to step up in big moments. He led St. Louis to the Stanley Cup in 2019, rising from minor-league goalie to season savior and playoff hero in a few short months.

The fiery netminder — also known for his short temper — showed the same clutch play during the 4 Nations final, turning aside 31 of 33 American shots in Canada’s 3-2 win, including a game-saving desperation glove stop on Auston Matthews in overtime.

“If you’re looking at statistics, you would, you know … but Binnington is such a winner,” Blues coach Jim Montgomery said. “It doesn’t matter the stage, he always has the ability to bounce back because of his mental toughness, his belief in himself, and he was outstanding (Sunday).”

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