VC Pines: Soundtracking an epileptic brain – one musician’s story of seizures and synesthesia

Published

10 months ago

September 9, 2023

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VC Pines is baring not just his soul, but his brain. Black and white skeletal images showing the inner workings of his grey matter illustrate his music, as do the harsh, eerie pulses of MRI bleeps and buzzes that have soundtracked a huge part of his life.

The alt-soul singer-songwriter, real name Jack Mercer, has temporal lobe epilepsy and synesthesia; the latter a symptom of the former, he believes, which means his senses merge and he experiences colours in connection with certain sounds or words.

He started suffering seizures while at college in London at 17, and when his epilepsy was at its worst they were happening almost daily. It was a scary time. Now 29, he has learned to love the way his brain works, and is sharing his story through his music.

“I started having what I now know were simple partial seizures, which is where you lose complete awareness and focus of anything that’s going on around you, and there were a couple of times where I would collapse… I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was losing my mind,” he tells Sky News.

“But if someone now were to say, ‘take this pill and it will be gone tomorrow’, I wouldn’t. I’ve learned how to deal with the seizures and I’ve learnt how to use them and my synesthesia to do what I love doing. I appreciate there are a lot of people who have epilepsy but aren’t mentally and physically able to do that, so I’m very lucky in the sense that I’m able to channel it. But I’ve definitely come to come to terms with it all and the seizures I have now are a lot more sporadic.”

Sometimes Mercer remembers his seizures, sometimes not. “Sometimes I only realise I’ve had one because I’m on the floor on the Tube or wherever.” He was initially treated with Lamotrigine, a typical drug for people with epilepsy or bipolar disorder, when he was diagnosed, but it badly affected his mood.

“I fell out with a lot of friends and I was completely different, basically – and I was still having seizures. So I thought I’d rather be myself and have seizures than not be myself and have seizures. So I don’t take medication for it anymore.”

He believes his brain has learned to manage things – “maybe it’s more active as a teenager, so has calmed down?” – and now the seizures come about once every few months.

While photosensitive epilepsy triggered by flashing lights seems to be the most well known, charities say it isn’t as common as most people think, affecting only about 3 to 5% of people with the condition. Common triggers are tiredness, lack of food, alcohol and stress, while other less common triggers can include “music, different sounds, smells and even reading”, according to the Epilepsy Society.

Mercer is one of 50 million people worldwide who suffer from temporal lobe epilepsy. His connected to sensory stimulation that evokes feelings of nostalgia; a smell or the touch of something that immediately unlocks a memory of the past.

“It’s often to do with my memory and I think that’s why it kind of makes me sensitive to my senses, because it’s if I smell something or if I hear something or see something, it can evoke a really strong memory,” he says. “Sometimes it’s like a memory that I’ve never remembered before, but I know it happened – so it’s linked to deja vu. And these are really, really strong, they sometimes stop you in your tracks. But that’s where a lot of the inspirations for my songs come from, they all stem from nostalgia.”

Epilepsy Action’s Tom Beddow says there isn’t clear data to say exactly how many sufferers fall into each category when it comes to less common triggers such as memory or more complex activities. “Overall, everyone’s experience with epilepsy is different, and so are their triggers, if they have any.”

One vivid seizure recollection of Mercer’s was of time he spent in New Hampshire, in the US, as a child. “When I first started having seizures I would remember these massive pine trees – which is where the Pines bit of my name comes from.” The VC stands for Violet Coloured – “because most of the stuff I write and tend to gravitate towards is purple or violet in colour”.

The colours in Mercer’s brain had always been there. He just didn’t know they weren’t for everyone else – that is, until he heard synesthesia explained in a lecture during his time at the ICMP (Institute of Contemporary Music Performance).

“Halfway through, I was like, ‘What do you mean, like, B isn’t red and C isn’t green? Doesn’t everyone else see, you know, letters with colours and chords with colours?’ Apparently not. That’s when I realised the way my brain works is different.”

But Mercer is not alone. Billie Eilish, one of the most successful music artists of recent years, has also spoken about having the neurological condition, telling Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show it inspires her creativity.

“All of my videos for the most part have to do with synesthesia. All of my artwork, everything I do live, all the colours for each song, it’s because those are the colours for those songs.” Other artists including Pharrell Williams, Kanye West, Charli XCX, Billy Joel, Lorde and Mary J Blige have also spoken out about it.

Mercer says he has learned to harness his neurological conditions “to see what kind of colours memories can give me and therefore what kind of colours parts of the songs are, stuff like that. I try and use it as a canvas, I guess… it’s all throughout the album. Everything in there is a colour, to me.”

MRI, his debut, “encapsulates the shifts and scoops” of Mercer’s unusual brain, with Chamber, the opening track, featuring the sound of the MRI machine just like the one he remembers entering for the first time at London’s Charing Cross Hospital.

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“It’s the sound of an MRI running through this chord sequence, that kind of cuts in really horribly,” he says. “But I love it.” The album touches on themes of love, jealousy, mental health and addiction, as well as neurology and nostalgia. Mercer says he hopes it might help others going through difficult times.

“I was really scared when I was diagnosed. My immediate assumption was that it was going to get worse, because the only epilepsy I knew was a ‘flash and you’re out for the count’. But it’s not been like that.

“I want to be open about it and talk about it. My songs are all about things that have happened and my memories from seizures; it’s all stemmed from me kind of managing my life while managing this condition, basically. At the same time, I do hope people can listen to it and relate and feel the same way, I guess – without feeling sad.”

Entertainment

Dua Lipa at Glastonbury: A masterclass from a proper pop star

Published

3 hours ago

June 29, 2024

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Dua Lipa at Glastonbury: A masterclass from a proper pop star

Dua Lipa has set the bar high for this year’s Glastonbury headliners, performing a slick set of hits to an enormous crowd at the festival’s famous Pyramid Stage.

The 28-year-old star told fans she had manifested the moment, but watching her command the stage – hit after hit played, voice soaring, dance moves effortless – it seems her talent was always going to bring her here.

Starting with Training Season, from her latest album Radical Optimism, Lipa kept the energy levels high throughout for tracks including Be The One, Levitating, Hallucinate, One Kiss, Physical, New Rules and Don’t Start Now.

As is Glastonbury tradition, fireworks lit the sky, during and after the set, while several costume changes also added to the sense of occasion – which the singer described as “the maddest night of my life”.

Telling the crowd about manifesting the experience, she also hinted she would be staying on at the festival to enjoy the rest of the weekend (although probably not in a tent, I’m guessing).

“I have written this moment down. I’ve wished for it, I’ve dreamt, I’ve worked so hard in the hopes that maybe one day I’ll get to do it and I can’t believe I’m here,” she said.

“You know when I wrote it down, I was very specific, I said I really wanted to headline the Pyramid stage on a Friday night because then I knew I could party for the next two days in the best place on Earth.

“I’m so grateful, little me would just be beside herself right now.”

Lipa’s performance included Cold Heart, her Sir Elton John collaboration, which saw her greeting delighted fans at the front of the crowd, who had no doubt been there for hours beforehand to save the spot.

She followed another Glastonbury tradition by bringing out a surprise guest – Kevin Parker from Tame Impala, to perform The Less I Know The Better from his band’s 2015 album, Currents – and teased Barbie’s Dance The Night during one of her several costume changes.

The star also showed awareness of the festival audience, with 90s rave imagery on screens and confetti cannons blasting rainbows.

It’s something some big acts can get wrong – to go down in Glastonbury headlining history, it needs to be more than just an extra tour show.

At times, however, the set was so slick, it felt more geared to the TV audience than to the crowd – a couple of songs saw Lipa performing to the camera, back to the audience, for good chunks of time – but when the choreography is this good, it’s captivating to watch wherever you are. It’s a small complaint.

Festival organiser Emily Eavis had said beforehand that Lipa was “born” to headline.

By the time the star had closed the set with Houdini, she had proved her absolutely right.

If Lipa is indeed staying on to enjoy the weekend, she’ll get to see for herself the huge array of brilliant acts on offer.

But as headline sets go, hers will be a hard act to beat – a masterclass from a world-class, proper pop star.

Entertainment

Damon Albarn makes surprise Glastonbury appearance with Bombay Bicycle Club

Published

14 hours ago

June 28, 2024

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Damon Albarn makes surprise Glastonbury appearance with Bombay Bicycle Club

Damon Albarn has made a surprise appearance at Glastonbury – addressing politics and the Israel-Hamas war as he turned up on stage to perform with Bombay Bicycle Club.

The band performed on the Other Stage this afternoon, ahead of artists including Anne-Marie, D-Block Europe and Idles.

Blur and Gorillaz star Albarn features on Bombay Bicycle Club’s 2023 song Heaven, and speculation he would join them had been rife ahead of their Glastonbury set.

They had teased a special guest, without revealing a name, and the @secretglasto Twitter account hinted beforehand that the mystery artist “could make Bombay Bicycle Club’s set go by in a Blur”.

Albarn headlined the festival with Blur in 2009 and again with Gorillaz the following year, as a last-minute replacement for U2 due to frontman Bono injuring his back.

After joining Bombay Bicycle Club at this year’s festival, he spoke on stage about Palestine, the general election, and world politics.

“Three things: you have to show me how you feel about it – are you pro Palestine? Do you feel that’s an unfair war?” he said.

“The importance of voting next week – I don’t blame you for being ambivalent about that but it’s still really important. And thirdly – maybe it’s time we stopped putting octogenarians in charge of the whole world?”

Speaking to Sky News about their collaboration, Bombay Bicycle Club said it had all been unexpected.

“We were never expecting to have him on the record or to be playing a show with him, but… we just kind of asked, and he was really up for it. You don’t ask, you don’t get.”

There wasn’t much time to rehearse, they added, with about an hour to get things right for the live performance. “But, you know, with him, that’s all you need.”

Kasabian, Liam Gallagher, Harry Styles, Kings Of Leon and Pulp are all among the artists rumoured to potentially make surprise appearances on stages around the festival site throughout the weekend.

Bombay Bicycle Club are among the music acts kicking off the first full day of the festival, which will be headlined by Dua Lipa.

Squeeze opened the show early on Friday, with K-pop act Seventeen, Olivia Dean and The Snuts also among the early performers.

Elsewhere, just days after the birth of his fourth child, Joe Wicks led a fitness session – and set his sights on taking his workouts to the Pyramid Stage.

“You don’t often think about a fitness workout being at a music festival but yesterday I did a workout and about 2,000 people turned up and it was amazing,” he told Sky News, ahead of a second session on Friday.

Wicks says people still want to look after themselves at festivals.

“It’s hard sleeping in a tent so if they’re awake, I’ve said, come and join me, start the day right.”

Coldplay will headline tomorrow, while Shania Twain fills the Sunday afternoon “legends slot” and SZA closes the weekend.

Entertainment

Holly Willoughby kidnap plot trial: Gavin Plumb says TV presenter was his ‘celebrity crush’

Published

19 hours ago

June 28, 2024

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Holly Willoughby kidnap plot trial: Gavin Plumb says TV presenter was his 'celebrity crush'

A security guard accused of planning to kidnap, rape and murder Holly Willoughby has told a jury the television presenter was “my celebrity crush”.

An undercover US police officer on Thursday told Chelmsford Crown Court he believed 37-year-old Gavin Plumb posed an “imminent threat” to the former This Morning Host.

Plumb shared a video of his “abduction kit” with the officer, referred to as David Nelson, and said he would use chloroform to snatch Willoughby, 43, from her home to sexually assault her before slitting her throat, the jury has heard.

He alerted UK police who found two bottles of liquid, alongside items including handcuffs, rope, shackles and cable ties, at Plumb’s home in Harlow, Essex – but they were found not to contain the substance.

Plumb denies three charges of soliciting murder and encouraging kidnap and rape between 21 December 2021 and 5 October last year.

Giving evidence for the first time on Friday, he told the jury he spent his life online engaging in “wholesome chat” but also fantasising about having sex with celebrities, including Willoughby, who he had seen on daytime TV after he became housebound, having gained weight and reaching 35.5 stone.

“She was my celebrity crush,” said Plumb, who sat down in a chair to give his evidence, wearing a light grey sweater and dark trousers, after telling the judge he would not be able to stand.

Asked how many times he thought about her a day, Plumb said: “It would depend how many times I would chat about her. Sometimes it would be once, other times it would be four, five, six times.”

But the chats became “darker” from 2021, he said, being questioned by his barrister Sasha Wass KC.

He admitted he found the conversations “exciting” at the time but added: “Looking back at it now it’s massively regrettable because it’s not the sort of chat I would normally participate in.”

Plumb added: “It was kind of like gratification. It was something I knew was never going to happen.”

He told the jury he had bought most of the items in what has been described as an “abduction kit” following a four-month sexual relationship in which he was introduced to “BDSM and rough sex”.

“The whole kit is meant for someone who is consenting,” he said.

Plumb told jurors his weight started to fluctuate from the age of 13, which “really affected my mental health” because he could not play sport and was often put “in the friend zone” with girls.

Plumb said he has only had one serious relationship, which he described as “extremely toxic”, and lasted four-and-a-half years, during which there were “constant arguments” and he was “constantly put down”.

“I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore,” he said.

The court has heard he has two convictions for attempted kidnap from 2006, after trying to abduct two women off the Stansted Express train, later claiming they were members of cabin crew. He had rope and an imitation firearm when he was arrested.

Plumb said he was travelling between car parks where he worked handing out tickets and although he admitted he “had a stewardess fantasy back then” he said he did it “to get out of the relationship”.

He was handed a suspended sentence and in 2008 said he used a box cutter to hold two “shouting and screaming and crying” 16-year-old girls in a warehouse where he worked, taping one of their hands behind her back.

Plumb said he committed the offences to “get away from the relationship”, which ended while he was in jail after he was sentenced to 32 months in prison, serving half, after admitting two charges of false imprisonment.

He told jurors once released he spent 99.9% of his life online, communicating with others about gaming, football and “normal fantasy chat” about having sex with various celebrities, including “briefly” Willoughby, but it was “completely different” to the “dark” material he later shared.

Willoughby, who is not attending the trial and is not a witness, announced in October last year that she was stepping down from This Morning after 14 years on the ITV show, but has since hosted Dancing On Ice 2024, and is due to present a Netflix show.