VC Pines: Soundtracking an epileptic brain – one musician’s story of seizures and synesthesia
VC Pines is baring not just his soul, but his brain. Black and white skeletal images showing the inner workings of his grey matter illustrate his music, as do the harsh, eerie pulses of MRI bleeps and buzzes that have soundtracked a huge part of his life.
The alt-soul singer-songwriter, real name Jack Mercer, has temporal lobe epilepsy and synesthesia; the latter a symptom of the former, he believes, which means his senses merge and he experiences colours in connection with certain sounds or words.
He started suffering seizures while at college in London at 17, and when his epilepsy was at its worst they were happening almost daily. It was a scary time. Now 29, he has learned to love the way his brain works, and is sharing his story through his music.
“I started having what I now know were simple partial seizures, which is where you lose complete awareness and focus of anything that’s going on around you, and there were a couple of times where I would collapse… I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was losing my mind,” he tells Sky News.
“But if someone now were to say, ‘take this pill and it will be gone tomorrow’, I wouldn’t. I’ve learned how to deal with the seizures and I’ve learnt how to use them and my synesthesia to do what I love doing. I appreciate there are a lot of people who have epilepsy but aren’t mentally and physically able to do that, so I’m very lucky in the sense that I’m able to channel it. But I’ve definitely come to come to terms with it all and the seizures I have now are a lot more sporadic.”
Sometimes Mercer remembers his seizures, sometimes not. “Sometimes I only realise I’ve had one because I’m on the floor on the Tube or wherever.” He was initially treated with Lamotrigine, a typical drug for people with epilepsy or bipolar disorder, when he was diagnosed, but it badly affected his mood.
“I fell out with a lot of friends and I was completely different, basically – and I was still having seizures. So I thought I’d rather be myself and have seizures than not be myself and have seizures. So I don’t take medication for it anymore.”
He believes his brain has learned to manage things – “maybe it’s more active as a teenager, so has calmed down?” – and now the seizures come about once every few months.
While photosensitive epilepsy triggered by flashing lights seems to be the most well known, charities say it isn’t as common as most people think, affecting only about 3 to 5% of people with the condition. Common triggers are tiredness, lack of food, alcohol and stress, while other less common triggers can include “music, different sounds, smells and even reading”, according to the Epilepsy Society.
Mercer is one of 50 million people worldwide who suffer from temporal lobe epilepsy. His connected to sensory stimulation that evokes feelings of nostalgia; a smell or the touch of something that immediately unlocks a memory of the past.
“It’s often to do with my memory and I think that’s why it kind of makes me sensitive to my senses, because it’s if I smell something or if I hear something or see something, it can evoke a really strong memory,” he says. “Sometimes it’s like a memory that I’ve never remembered before, but I know it happened – so it’s linked to deja vu. And these are really, really strong, they sometimes stop you in your tracks. But that’s where a lot of the inspirations for my songs come from, they all stem from nostalgia.”
Epilepsy Action’s Tom Beddow says there isn’t clear data to say exactly how many sufferers fall into each category when it comes to less common triggers such as memory or more complex activities. “Overall, everyone’s experience with epilepsy is different, and so are their triggers, if they have any.”
One vivid seizure recollection of Mercer’s was of time he spent in New Hampshire, in the US, as a child. “When I first started having seizures I would remember these massive pine trees – which is where the Pines bit of my name comes from.” The VC stands for Violet Coloured – “because most of the stuff I write and tend to gravitate towards is purple or violet in colour”.
The colours in Mercer’s brain had always been there. He just didn’t know they weren’t for everyone else – that is, until he heard synesthesia explained in a lecture during his time at the ICMP (Institute of Contemporary Music Performance).
“Halfway through, I was like, ‘What do you mean, like, B isn’t red and C isn’t green? Doesn’t everyone else see, you know, letters with colours and chords with colours?’ Apparently not. That’s when I realised the way my brain works is different.”
But Mercer is not alone. Billie Eilish, one of the most successful music artists of recent years, has also spoken about having the neurological condition, telling Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show it inspires her creativity.
“All of my videos for the most part have to do with synesthesia. All of my artwork, everything I do live, all the colours for each song, it’s because those are the colours for those songs.” Other artists including Pharrell Williams, Kanye West, Charli XCX, Billy Joel, Lorde and Mary J Blige have also spoken out about it.
Mercer says he has learned to harness his neurological conditions “to see what kind of colours memories can give me and therefore what kind of colours parts of the songs are, stuff like that. I try and use it as a canvas, I guess… it’s all throughout the album. Everything in there is a colour, to me.”
MRI, his debut, “encapsulates the shifts and scoops” of Mercer’s unusual brain, with Chamber, the opening track, featuring the sound of the MRI machine just like the one he remembers entering for the first time at London’s Charing Cross Hospital.
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“It’s the sound of an MRI running through this chord sequence, that kind of cuts in really horribly,” he says. “But I love it.” The album touches on themes of love, jealousy, mental health and addiction, as well as neurology and nostalgia. Mercer says he hopes it might help others going through difficult times.
“I was really scared when I was diagnosed. My immediate assumption was that it was going to get worse, because the only epilepsy I knew was a ‘flash and you’re out for the count’. But it’s not been like that.
“I want to be open about it and talk about it. My songs are all about things that have happened and my memories from seizures; it’s all stemmed from me kind of managing my life while managing this condition, basically. At the same time, I do hope people can listen to it and relate and feel the same way, I guess – without feeling sad.”
The Salt Path author Raynor Winn’s fourth book has been delayed by her publisher.
It comes amid claims that the author lied about her story in her hit first book. Winn previously described the claims as “highly misleading” and called suggestions that her husband had Moth made up his illness “utterly vile”.
In a statement, Penguin Michael Joseph, said it had delayed the publication of Winn’s latest book On Winter Hill – which had been set for release 23 October.
The publisher said the decision had been made in light of “recent events, in particular intrusive conjecture around Moth’s health”, which it said had caused “considerable distress” to the author and her family.
“It is our priority to support the author at this time,” the publisher said.
“With this in mind, Penguin Michael Joseph, together with the author, has made the decision to delay the publication of On Winter Hill from this October.”
A new release date will be announced in due course, the publisher added.
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Winn’s first book, released in 2018, detailed the journey she and husband took along the South West Coast Path – familiarly known as The Salt Path – after they lost their family farm and Moth received a terminal health diagnosis of Corticobasal Degeneration (CBD).
But a report in The Observer disputed key aspects of the 2018 “true” story – which was recently turned into a film starring Jason Isaacs and Gillian Anderson.
Raynor and husband Moth (centre) with actors Jason Isaacs (L) and Gillian Anderson (R). Pic: Steve Tanner/Black Bear
Experts ‘sceptical of health claims’
As part of the article, published last weekend, The Observer claimed to have spoken to experts who were “sceptical” about elements of Moth’s terminal diagnosis, such as a “lack of acute symptoms and his apparent ability to reverse them”.
In the ensuing controversy, PSPA, a charity that supports people with CBD, cut ties with the couple.
The Observer article also claimed the portrayal of a failed investment in a friend’s business wasn’t true, but said the couple – whose names are Sally and Tim Walker – lost their home after Raynor Winn embezzled money from her employer and had to borrow to pay it back and avoid police action.
Anderson played Winn in a movie about the couple’s journey. Pic: Steve Tanner/Black Bear
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It also said that, rather than being homeless, the couple had owned a house in France since 2007.
Winn’s statement said the dispute with her employer wasn’t the reason the couple lost their home – but admitted she may have made “mistakes” while in the job.
“For me it was a pressured time,” she wrote. “It was also a time when mistakes were being made in the business. Any mistakes I made during the years in that office, I deeply regret, and I am truly sorry.”
She admitted being questioned by police but said she wasn’t charged.
The author also said accusations that Moth lied about having CBD/CBS were false and had “emotionally devastated” him.
“I have charted Moth’s condition with such a level of honesty, that this is the most unbearable of the allegations,” Winn wrote on her website.
The first fan started queuing before 8am.
Heaton Park, just north of Manchester City centre, is tonight hosting 80,000 fans who’ve come to see the Gallaghers’ homecoming.
“I would honestly say it’s a real cultural moment of the 21st century,” says Sam, who’s from Manchester and has come here with a group of friends – including one who has travelled from Australia for the gig.
Oasis fans wear band T-shirts with the almost obligatory bucket hats. Pic: Reuters
This will be the fourth time Sam has seen Oasis play, although obviously not for many years, and he says he can’t wait for the moment the band comes on to the stage.
“The reaction from the fans, that’s going to be really special,” he says. “This band means so much to the North West.”
Like many people attending tonight’s concert, Sam is wearing a bucket hat.
Liam Gallagher’s iconic headgear has become a part of the band’s cultural legacy and they are certainly on display here, with street vendors popping up all around the park’s perimeter.
Another fan, Dean, tells me he feels incredibly lucky to have got a ticket at all.
“I had seven devices out when the tickets were released and I didn’t get one,” he says. “And then about three days ago, a friend of mine messaged to say she couldn’t make it.
“So I made it. £120 with coach travel there and back – perfect.”
Dom has flown from half a world away to be in Manchester tonight
Dom is another fan who has come from Australia for the gig.
“We’re frothing to be here, like so stoked,” he says, “The atmosphere is going to be electric.”
Read more:
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One young couple are here on their honeymoon. From Italy, they met at a Liam Gallagher concert several years ago.
“It’s where we fell in love,” Claudia says. “And we got married last month so we wanted to be here to celebrate.”
Amanda, from Manchester, is also here with a loved one – well, sort of.
Amanda has found a way to make sure her son, who lives in Australia, is there in spirit
She’s wearing a paper cut-out mask of her 30-year-old son Harry’s face.
“He’s in Melbourne and got a ticket but then couldn’t come,” Amanda explains.
“And so Harry doesn’t feel left out,” she says pulling the mask down over her face, “we’ve brought him with us!”
Entertainment
Chris Brown: R&B singer denies further charges following alleged bottle attack in London club
R&B singer Chris Brown has denied further charges following an alleged bottle attack in a London nightclub.
The 36-year-old pleaded not guilty to assault occasioning actual bodily harm (ABH) to music producer Abraham Diaw, during a hearing at Southwark Crown Court on Friday.
Brown also denied one count of having an offensive weapon – a bottle – in a public place.
Chris Brown arriving at Southwark Crown Court on Friday. Pic: PA
The Grammy-winning US musician last month pleaded not guilty to a more serious charge of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm (GBH) with intent to Mr Diaw.
The attack allegedly happened at the Tape venue, a private members’ club in Hanover Square, Mayfair, on 19 February 2023.
The plea hearing is part of preparations for his five to seven-day trial, which is due to take place from 26 October 2026.
Brown’s co-defendant, US national Omololu Akinlolu, 39, on Friday pleaded not guilty to a charge of assaulting Mr Diaw occasioning him actual bodily harm.
Akinlolu, a rapper who goes by the name Hoody Baby, has previously pleaded not guilty to attempting to cause grievous bodily harm.
Brown’s co-defendant Omololu Akinlolu arrives at court. Pic: Reuters
The defendants sat side-by-side in the dock, looking straight ahead during the hearing in London.
Around 20 fans sat in the public gallery behind the dock for Friday’s hearing, with several gasping as Brown walked into the courtroom.
The Go Crazy singer was able to continue with his scheduled international tour after he was freed on conditional bail in May.
He had to pay a £5m security fee to the court as part of the bail agreement, which is a financial guarantee to ensure a defendant returns to court and may be forfeited if they breach bail conditions.
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Mr Diaw was standing at the bar of the Tape nightclub when he was struck several times with a bottle, and then pursued to a separate area of the venue where he was punched and kicked repeatedly, Manchester Magistrates’ Court previously heard.
Brown was arrested at Manchester’s Lowry Hotel at 2am on 15 May by detectives from the Metropolitan Police.
He is said to have flown into Manchester Airport on a private jet in preparation for the UK tour dates.
Brown was released from HMP Forest Bank in Salford, Greater Manchester, on 21 May.
The singer, who rose to stardom as a teenager in 2005, won his first Grammy award for best R&B album in 2011 for F.A.M.E..
He earned his second in the same category for 11:11 (Deluxe) earlier this year.
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