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Inspirational thought of the week:

Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stood behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve

We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn’t find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how

— “Same Old Lang Syne,” Dan Fogelberg

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the fire pit where Ryan Day holds his weekly ritualistic burnings of Lou Holtz-autographed merch he found on eBay, there are few experiences we relish more than those moments when we unexpectedly run into something or someone that reminds us of days gone by.

Like when that smell rolls up the stairs on Thanksgiving morning from your grandma’s kitchen and instantly takes you back to your childhood. Or when unexpectedly seeing an old friend at the airport takes you back to high school. Or when your ex-girlfriend from college slides into your DMs at 3 a.m. to tell you that she should have married you instead of that chiropractor she met at the Kappa Alpha mixer and dumped you for.

Or, like me on Tuesday morning, staring at a massive statue of Ralphie the Buffalo and stepping through the gates of Colorado’s Folsom Field, the current cultural epicenter of college football, precisely one year after I had ranked the Buffs No. 1 in the Bottom 10, a championship the Buffs would clinch by season’s end.

My long meditative moment staring into the bronze eyeballs of that perpetually sprinting beast was cathartic. It was healing. It was hopeful. Proof that no matter how bad life might feel, there is always a way out. It felt timeless. And then it was over. A truck horn blasted. “Get out of the way, you idiot! We gotta get ready for the USC game!”

With apologies to Darien Hagan, Coach Prime, Fred Folsom and Steve Harvey, here’s the Post-Week 4 Bottom 10.

1. No-vada (0-4)

The Wolf Pack nearly upset the Artist Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks two weeks ago. Then they should have beaten the Texas State Armadillos this past weekend, leading 17-0 at the half before surrendering 35 unanswered points and losing 35-24. Now they travel to No. 25 Fresno State, which colleague Kyle Bonagura recently projected to play Alabama in the Peach Bowl. I’m all for that if only for the living legends pregame handshake-turned-impromptu arm wrestling match between former Bulldogs and Tide head coaches Pat Hill and Gene Stallings.

2. Buffalo Bulls Not Bills (0-4)

Our investigative news team here at Bottom 10 JortsCenter has learned that the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills are trying to leverage the confusion about their name to sneakily schedule a game against the Denver Broncos, because obviously anyone can score against those guys.

3. U-Can’t (0-4)

The Fightin’ Moras don’t want much mora this season after catching suddenly awesome Duke one week ahead of the Blue Devils hosting “College GameDay” and getting thumped in the Man Wouldn’t This Be A Mora Awesome Game If It Was Hoops Classic.

4. Sam Houston State We Have Problem (0-3)

Sam Houston, former governor and president — yes, president — of Texas was so beloved (at least for a while) that the businessmen who founded a city with big cash-in hopes in 1837 named it Houston, and in 1927 a college was opened in the city and named the University of Houston. Years earlier, in 1879, a college was founded in Huntsville, Texas, and was named Sam Houston State. So when Sam Houston State met the University of Houston on Saturday, it feels like the loser (Sam Houston State by a 38-7 score) should have had to lose its name for a year. Nor should it be allowed to listen to Whitney Houston, fish with Jimmy Houston or talk football with Houston Nutt.

5. Notre Dame Fightin’ Abacuses (4-1)

OK, three points to make here. One, there is no excuse for having 10 men on the field in the most pressure-packed defensive stand of the season, especially after that same mistake had already been made in a much less important game earlier in the month. Two, last week I wrote about the history of big games in which Notre Dame wore green jerseys and many Irish fans sent evil curses my way for glossing over what they believe is a green-shirt curse … and now I kind of believe them. And three … wait … sorry, we don’t have three points. We accidentally miscounted and came up one short. Get it? Too soon?

6. UMess (1-4)

UMess rallied from 14 points down to Whew Mexico to force overtime via a last-minute 65-yard touchdown pass … but lost in soul-crushing fashion for the second consecutive weekend. So, to recap, Messachusetts defeated Whew Mexico State in Week 1, but Whew Mexico State beat Whew Mexico in the Battle of I-25, but Whew Mexico beat UMess the week after that. This is like “Inception” but only Leo DiCaprio was covered in desert dust and Sam Adams. Now the Minutemen host Arkansaw State, which was going to be the Pillow Fight of the Year of the Century: Episode III, but …

7. Southern Missed (1-3)

Just two weeks ago, the Fightin’ Butches of Arkansaw State were at the top/bottom of these rankings and looked like a lock to be in this pie fight all season. But a new challenger is rising from the Sun Belt after surrendering only the Red Wolves’ fifth conference win in three-plus seasons. Maybe alum Brett Favre can find some money from the charity jug at a local gas station and buy the team something to make them feel better.

8. UTEPid (1-3)

The Minors lost by 17 at home to UNLV. Despite mustering 28 points, they still rank 121st in scoring offense, along with 113th in penalty yards (they drew eight flags for 74 yards) and 113th in turnover margin (they lost three fumbles). Is that bad? That feels bad.

9. The MCU (1-3)

The #MACtion Cinematic Universe continues to make like a forgotten bag of Skittles under your kid’s car seat in the summertime, all melted together and impossible to separate. A sticky six of the league’s dozen teams now stand at 1-3. The good news? Conference play has started, so some of this is going to sort itself out. The bad news? No matter what happens, we’ll still have to figure out a way to get this stain out of the fabric on the back seat.

10. The State of Virginia (0-4/1-3)

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s Commonwealth. But there’s also a common wealth of pain to go around Marty Smith’s homeland, where UVA snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against NC State via a series of late-game penalties and Virginia Tech has dropped three straight to Pur-don’t, In-a-Rut-gers and We Are Marshall. We’re all still waiting on the Sandman to enter, but he appears to be taking a nap under an oak tree at Monticello.

Waiting List: Pretty much all of the American Athletic Conference of America except for Memphis and Tulane, Muddled Tennessee, Pur-don’t, EC-Yew, Charlotte 1-and-3ers, Bailer, FA(not I)U, Rod Tidwell’s alma mater, Stanfird, Whew Mexico, Denver Broncos.

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Raleigh ties M’s record with 35 HRs before break

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Raleigh ties M's record with 35 HRs before break

SEATTLE — Cal Raleigh hit his 34th and 35th home runs to set a career high and match Ken Griffey Jr.’s Seattle record for homers before the All-Star break, helping the Mariners beat the Pittsburgh Pirates 6-0 on Friday.

Raleigh, the major league leader in home runs, turned on a fastball from Bailey Falter (6-4) in the first inning and walloped it well past the wall in left. The exit velocity on the two-run shot was logged at 115.2 mph, per Statcast, making it the hardest-hit ball of his career.

Raleigh topped his previous career high for homers, set last season, in the sixth with a solo shot that chased Falter. The Mariners mustered only one other hit off the left-hander, but it was also a home run courtesy of Randy Arozarena in the fourth inning.

Raleigh’s 35 homers are tied for the fifth most in MLB history before the All-Star break (since 1933), matching Griffey in 1998 and Luis Gonzalez in 2001. Barry Bonds holds the record with 39 at the break in 2001.

Raleigh said he was honored to tie Griffey, whom he called the face of the Mariners.

“To be mentioned with that name, somebody that’s just iconic, a legend, first-ballot Hall of Famer, I’m just blessed,” Raleigh said. “Trying to do the right thing and trying to keep it rolling. If I can try to be like that guy, it’s a good guy to look up to.”

Raleigh is on pace to hit 65 home runs this season, which would break New York Yankees star Aaron Judge‘s American League record of 62, set in 2022.

Manager Dan Wilson, who was a teammate of Griffey Jr.’s in 1998, tried to put Raleigh’s fast start to 2025 in perspective.

“It’s remarkable. It feels like he hits a home run every game, that’s what it feels like,” Wilson said. “And I can remember feeling it as a player, that [Griffey] just felt like he hit a home run every day. Again, that’s the consistency that [Raleigh] has shown. It hasn’t been a streak where he has hit a bunch of home runs in a short amount of time. It’s been kind of 10 per month.”

A switch-hitter, Raleigh has more home runs as a left-handed hitter and as a right-handed hitter than anyone else on the Mariners: He has 21 from the left side and 14 from the right. Arozarena ranks second on Seattle with 13 homers this season.

The Mariners play eight more games before the All-Star break.

The Associated Press and ESPN Research contributed to this report.

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L.A. routed 18-1 in worst loss at Dodger Stadium

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L.A. routed 18-1 in worst loss at Dodger Stadium

LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Dodgers suffered their worst loss ever in Dodger Stadium, an 18-1 blowout at the hands of the Houston Astros on Friday night in the series opener of a matchup between division leaders.

The 17-run loss marked the Dodgers’ largest margin of defeat at home since the team moved to Dodger Stadium in 1962, and the franchise’s worst home loss since July 3, 1947, when Brooklyn lost 19-2 to the New York Giants.

Jose Altuve homered twice while reaching base five times and driving in five runs for the Astros, who held the defending World Series champion Dodgers to six hits including Will Smith‘s solo homer.

“That was one you want to flush as soon as possible,” Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said. “I don’t think there were many positives from this night.”

Dodgers fans relentlessly booed Altuve throughout his at-bats, chanting, “Cheater! Cheater!” He’s one of two players, along with Lance McCullers Jr., remaining from Houston’s 2017 team that beat the Dodgers in the World Series. It later came out that the Astros were stealing signs with the help of video and relaying pitches to batters by banging on a trash can.

The AL West-leading Astros scored 10 runs in the sixth, highlighted by Victor Caratini‘s grand slam and Altuve’s three-run shot. It was the most runs given up in an inning by the Dodgers since April 23, 1999, when they allowed 11 to St. Louis.

McCullers (2-3) allowed one run and four hits in six innings of his second start since returning from a sprained right foot. He struck out four.

Isaac Paredes hit his first career leadoff homer on the first pitch of the game from rookie Ben Casparius. Altuve doubled and scored on Christian Walker‘s RBI single for a 2-0 lead.

Jake Meyers doubled leading off the third and scored on Altuve’s 14th homer. Rookie Cam Smith doubled and scored on Walker’s 417-foot shot halfway up the left-field pavilion to cap four straight hits given up by Casparius and extend Houston’s lead to 6-1.

“I don’t think Ben was good tonight,” Roberts said. “It seemed like they were on everything he threw up there.”

The Astros broke it open in the sixth. Smith had a bases-loaded RBI single, reliever Noah Davis hit Walker with two strikes on him to force in a run and Caratini hit his slam with no outs. Meyers added an RBI single, and Altuve hit his second homer of the night.

Casparius allowed six runs and nine hits in three innings and struck out three.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Walker back in Phils’ rotation after Abel demoted

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Walker back in Phils' rotation after Abel demoted

PHILADELPHIA — Mick Abel couldn’t sustain his sublime major league debut and is headed to the minors.

Taijuan Walker is back in Philadelphia’s rotation. And anticipation that prized prospect Andrew Painter could be headed to the Phillies will stretch past the All-Star break.

Zack Wheeler, Ranger Suárez and Cristopher Sánchez are about the only sure things this year in Philadelphia’s rotation.

The Phillies demoted Abel, the rookie right-hander who has struggled since he struck out nine in his major league debut, to Triple-A Lehigh Valley. The Phillies also recalled reliever Seth Johnson from Lehigh Valley ahead of Friday’s loss to Cincinnati.

The 23-year-old Abel made six starts for the Phillies and went 2-2 with 5.04 ERA with 21 strikeouts and nine walks.

“Mick needed to go down and breathe a little bit,” manager Rob Thomson said. “Just get a little reset. It’s not uncommon.”

A 6-foot-5 right-hander selected 15th overall by the Phillies in the 2020 amateur draft, Abel dazzled against Pittsburgh in May when his nine strikeouts tied a Phillies high for a debut, set by Curt Simmons against the New York Giants on Sept. 28, 1947.

Abel hasn’t pitched beyond the fifth inning in any of his last four starts and was rocked for five runs in 1⅔ innings Wednesday against San Diego.

Abel was 3-12 with a 6.46 ERA last year for Lehigh Valley, walking 78 in 108⅔ innings. He improved to 5-2 with a 2.53 ERA in eight minor league starts this year, walking 19 in 46⅓ innings.

“This guy’s had a really good year,” Thomson said. “His poise, his composure is outstanding. He’s really grown. We just need to get back to that. Just attack the zone and get through adversity.”

The Phillies will give Walker another start in Abel’s place against San Francisco. Walker has bounced between the rotation and the bullpen over the past two seasons. He has made eight starts with 11 relief appearances this season and is 3-5 with one save and a 3.64 ERA.

Thomson had said he wanted to give Walker an extended look in the bullpen. Abel’s struggles instead forced Walker — in the third year of a four-year, $72-million contract — back to the rotation. For now.

“He always considers himself a starter and ultimately wants to start,” Thomson said. “He’ll do anything for the ballclub, because he’s that type of guy, but I think he’s generally happy he’s going to go back into a normal routine, normal for him, anyway.”

Wheeler, Suárez and Sánchez have been lights-out in the rotation this year and helped lead the Phillies into first place in the NL East. Jesús Luzardo was a pleasant early season surprise but has struggled over the past two months and gave up six runs in two-plus innings in Friday’s 9-6 loss to the Reds.

“I still have all the confidence in the world in Luzardo,” Thomson said. “Everybody’s going to have bad outings here and there. I think we’re still fine.”

Thomson said he had not made a final decision on who will be the fifth starter after the All-Star break. Painter has two more scheduled starts in Triple-A before the MLB All-Star break and could earn a spot in the rotation. The 22-year-old will not pitch in the All-Star Futures Game as part of the plan to keep him on a hopeful path to the rotation.

Painter hurt an elbow during spring training in 2023 and had Tommy John surgery later that year. He was the 13th overall pick in the 2021 amateur draft and signed for a $3.9 million bonus.

Because of the All-Star break and a quirk in the schedule that has them off on all five Thursdays in July, the Phillies won’t even need a fifth starter after next week until July 22.

Aaron Nola could be back by August as he works his way back from a rib injury. Nola will spend the All-Star break rehabbing in Florida and needs one or two minor league starts before he can rejoin the rotation.

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