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Inspirational thought of the week:

Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stood behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve

We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn’t find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car

We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how

— “Same Old Lang Syne,” Dan Fogelberg

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the fire pit where Ryan Day holds his weekly ritualistic burnings of Lou Holtz-autographed merch he found on eBay, there are few experiences we relish more than those moments when we unexpectedly run into something or someone that reminds us of days gone by.

Like when that smell rolls up the stairs on Thanksgiving morning from your grandma’s kitchen and instantly takes you back to your childhood. Or when unexpectedly seeing an old friend at the airport takes you back to high school. Or when your ex-girlfriend from college slides into your DMs at 3 a.m. to tell you that she should have married you instead of that chiropractor she met at the Kappa Alpha mixer and dumped you for.

Or, like me on Tuesday morning, staring at a massive statue of Ralphie the Buffalo and stepping through the gates of Colorado’s Folsom Field, the current cultural epicenter of college football, precisely one year after I had ranked the Buffs No. 1 in the Bottom 10, a championship the Buffs would clinch by season’s end.

My long meditative moment staring into the bronze eyeballs of that perpetually sprinting beast was cathartic. It was healing. It was hopeful. Proof that no matter how bad life might feel, there is always a way out. It felt timeless. And then it was over. A truck horn blasted. “Get out of the way, you idiot! We gotta get ready for the USC game!”

With apologies to Darien Hagan, Coach Prime, Fred Folsom and Steve Harvey, here’s the Post-Week 4 Bottom 10.

1. No-vada (0-4)

The Wolf Pack nearly upset the Artist Formerly Known as the Kansas Nayhawks two weeks ago. Then they should have beaten the Texas State Armadillos this past weekend, leading 17-0 at the half before surrendering 35 unanswered points and losing 35-24. Now they travel to No. 25 Fresno State, which colleague Kyle Bonagura recently projected to play Alabama in the Peach Bowl. I’m all for that if only for the living legends pregame handshake-turned-impromptu arm wrestling match between former Bulldogs and Tide head coaches Pat Hill and Gene Stallings.

2. Buffalo Bulls Not Bills (0-4)

Our investigative news team here at Bottom 10 JortsCenter has learned that the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills are trying to leverage the confusion about their name to sneakily schedule a game against the Denver Broncos, because obviously anyone can score against those guys.

3. U-Can’t (0-4)

The Fightin’ Moras don’t want much mora this season after catching suddenly awesome Duke one week ahead of the Blue Devils hosting “College GameDay” and getting thumped in the Man Wouldn’t This Be A Mora Awesome Game If It Was Hoops Classic.

4. Sam Houston State We Have Problem (0-3)

Sam Houston, former governor and president — yes, president — of Texas was so beloved (at least for a while) that the businessmen who founded a city with big cash-in hopes in 1837 named it Houston, and in 1927 a college was opened in the city and named the University of Houston. Years earlier, in 1879, a college was founded in Huntsville, Texas, and was named Sam Houston State. So when Sam Houston State met the University of Houston on Saturday, it feels like the loser (Sam Houston State by a 38-7 score) should have had to lose its name for a year. Nor should it be allowed to listen to Whitney Houston, fish with Jimmy Houston or talk football with Houston Nutt.

5. Notre Dame Fightin’ Abacuses (4-1)

OK, three points to make here. One, there is no excuse for having 10 men on the field in the most pressure-packed defensive stand of the season, especially after that same mistake had already been made in a much less important game earlier in the month. Two, last week I wrote about the history of big games in which Notre Dame wore green jerseys and many Irish fans sent evil curses my way for glossing over what they believe is a green-shirt curse … and now I kind of believe them. And three … wait … sorry, we don’t have three points. We accidentally miscounted and came up one short. Get it? Too soon?

6. UMess (1-4)

UMess rallied from 14 points down to Whew Mexico to force overtime via a last-minute 65-yard touchdown pass … but lost in soul-crushing fashion for the second consecutive weekend. So, to recap, Messachusetts defeated Whew Mexico State in Week 1, but Whew Mexico State beat Whew Mexico in the Battle of I-25, but Whew Mexico beat UMess the week after that. This is like “Inception” but only Leo DiCaprio was covered in desert dust and Sam Adams. Now the Minutemen host Arkansaw State, which was going to be the Pillow Fight of the Year of the Century: Episode III, but …

7. Southern Missed (1-3)

Just two weeks ago, the Fightin’ Butches of Arkansaw State were at the top/bottom of these rankings and looked like a lock to be in this pie fight all season. But a new challenger is rising from the Sun Belt after surrendering only the Red Wolves’ fifth conference win in three-plus seasons. Maybe alum Brett Favre can find some money from the charity jug at a local gas station and buy the team something to make them feel better.

8. UTEPid (1-3)

The Minors lost by 17 at home to UNLV. Despite mustering 28 points, they still rank 121st in scoring offense, along with 113th in penalty yards (they drew eight flags for 74 yards) and 113th in turnover margin (they lost three fumbles). Is that bad? That feels bad.

9. The MCU (1-3)

The #MACtion Cinematic Universe continues to make like a forgotten bag of Skittles under your kid’s car seat in the summertime, all melted together and impossible to separate. A sticky six of the league’s dozen teams now stand at 1-3. The good news? Conference play has started, so some of this is going to sort itself out. The bad news? No matter what happens, we’ll still have to figure out a way to get this stain out of the fabric on the back seat.

10. The State of Virginia (0-4/1-3)

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s Commonwealth. But there’s also a common wealth of pain to go around Marty Smith’s homeland, where UVA snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against NC State via a series of late-game penalties and Virginia Tech has dropped three straight to Pur-don’t, In-a-Rut-gers and We Are Marshall. We’re all still waiting on the Sandman to enter, but he appears to be taking a nap under an oak tree at Monticello.

Waiting List: Pretty much all of the American Athletic Conference of America except for Memphis and Tulane, Muddled Tennessee, Pur-don’t, EC-Yew, Charlotte 1-and-3ers, Bailer, FA(not I)U, Rod Tidwell’s alma mater, Stanfird, Whew Mexico, Denver Broncos.

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Matchup in Ireland is among the last for the Farmageddon football rivalry

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Matchup in Ireland is among the last for the Farmageddon football rivalry

Week 0 is college football’s oft-ignored start to the season. The good stuff doesn’t generally happen until the smorgasbord of Labor Day weekend.

This year, though, it begins with a unique bang. Consider that, right now in some Dublin pub, two fan bases from Middle America are likely baffling locals by arguing not merely over their teams but the per-acre yields of wheat vs. corn.

It’s Iowa State and Kansas State to kick things off — in Ireland no less.

It’s Farmageddon on the old sod, or Farm O’Geddon, as some have dubbed it this year.

The rural-rooted and wonderfully self-aware rivalry is getting a rare but well-deserved turn in the spotlight.

These are two proud and solid programs. Both are nationally ranked. The Wildcats check in at No. 17, and the Cyclones at 22. It’s a Big 12 game with conference title and national playoff implications.

“It’s certainly a great opportunity, and we certainly feel honored to be able to be a part of it,” Iowa State coach Matt Campbell said.

It’s also a reminder of how, even when college football is doing something well, the sport’s self-destructive ways can hang over everything.

This is the 109th consecutive meeting between these two schools, a run that dates to 1917.

Yet in 2027, there will be no scheduled game; Farmageddon’s streak will be a casualty of conference realignment.

The series predates the old Big Eight, which is now called the Big 12 even though it has 16 members, complicating everything. Trying to manage a schedule in a league that large is a massive challenge. The conference relies on what it calls a “scheduling matrix” to get it done.

The Big 12 chose just four long-standing rivalries to be “protected” and thus forced into the matrix each season: Arizona-Arizona State, BYU-Utah, Baylor-TCU and Kansas State-Kansas.

Those make sense — each is an intense, in-state clash. K-State would rather assure a game against Kansas than Iowa State, just as Iowa State wants to make sure it plays Iowa, of the Big Ten, each year in nonconference play.

Scheduling is tough. Sometimes something has to give.

Still, Farmageddon’s run of games is longer than Texas-Oklahoma, Michigan-Ohio State and the Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn. While Iowa State-Kansas State will be played again in future seasons, any break feels unfortunate.

Obviously, the rivalry isn’t nearly as storied as those. Both teams have endured lengthy periods where even mediocrity would have been welcomed. Still, there is something endearing about tradition. It isn’t just for the winners.

The strength of college football isn’t the blue bloods, or at least it isn’t solely in the blue bloods. Yes, the powerhouse teams drive the boat and command the television ratings. Every sport has that, though.

What college football has is everything else, everywhere else. The nation’s 136 FBS-level programs hail from more than 40 states. They are in big cities and tiny towns. There are big state schools and small private ones, religious institutions and military academies. Not everyone expects a national title. Or even a conference one.

This is an American creation that represents America in the broadest sense. That is: None of it makes sense except all of it makes sense. The passion. The pageantry. The pride.

That includes these weird neighborhood rivalries. Leagues were once formed because of familiarity or cultural commonality. You went to one school, your neighbor another. The geographic footprint mattered. Now it’s all about media rights and money.

The Big Ten has 18 teams. The Atlantic Coast Conference has two schools overlooking the Pacific Ocean. And the Big 12 is so big that the Kansas State-Iowa State rivalry — which survived world wars, droughts and depressions — can be brushed to the side.

Saturday’s game is a showcase for what needs to be maintained against the avalanche of money. It’s old-school stuff featuring two programs with reasonable expectations that mostly just want a taste of the big time and all the fun that comes with it.

So they’ve invested in it — as institutions and individuals. Try explaining to some Irishman that the 50,000-seat Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium in the Little Apple of Manhattan, Kansas, is larger than any sporting venue in the Big Apple of Manhattan, New York.

Or that Iowa State running back Abu Sama III is already a school legend for racking up 276 yards and scoring four touchdowns during a winter storm in 2023 at Kansas State.

That game will be forever known as Snowmageddon.

The tradition continues in Ireland, of all places, now with everyone watching. It’s a fitting moment for an overlooked series. It’s also a reminder to appreciate what this sport can produce, because even the good stuff isn’t necessarily safe.

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MLB-best Brewers put SS Ortiz (hamstring) on IL

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MLB-best Brewers put SS Ortiz (hamstring) on IL

MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee’s Joey Ortiz went on the 10-day injured list with a strained left hamstring Friday, leaving the NL Central-leading Brewers without their starting shortstop.

The Brewers also reinstated first baseman/outfielder Jake Bauers from the injured list and sent outfielder Jackson Chourio to a rehabilitation assignment with Triple-A Nashville.

Ortiz left a 4-1 victory over the Chicago Cubs on Thursday after hurting himself while grounding out in the fifth inning. Manager Pat Murphy said he has been told it’s a low-grade strain, an indication that Ortiz’s stay on the IL might not be too long.

Ortiz, 27, is hitting .233 with seven homers, 43 RBIs and 11 steals in 125 games. He has batted .343 with an .830 OPS in August.

“I felt like I was finally kind of getting a groove going, especially offensively, that I was starting to swing the bat as I feel I can,” Ortiz said. “Things happen. It’s baseball. It’s going to happen. I’ve just got to do what I can to get back.”

Murphy said Andruw Monasterio will be the Brewers’ primary shortstop while Ortiz is out. Monasterio, 28, has hit .254 with two homers and 11 RBIs in 43 games.

Bauers, 29, was dealing with a left shoulder impingement and last played in the majors on July 18. Bauers is hitting .197 with five homers and 18 RBIs in 59 games. He had gone just 2-for-23 in July while dealing with the shoulder issue before finally going on the injured list.

“Since April, May, I’ve been dealing with it,” Bauers said.

Chourio, 21, hasn’t played since straining his right hamstring while running out a triple in a 9-3 victory over the Cubs on July 29.

“He’s got to be able to get comfortable standing on the diamond back-to-back days,” Murphy said. “He’s got to be comfortable playing all nine (innings) in the outfield back-to-back days, because you can’t bring him back here and then just [go] zero to 100.”

Chourio is hitting .276 with 17 homers, 67 RBIs and 18 steals in 106 games.

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Red Sox move Buehler to pen as RHP eyes ‘reset’

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Red Sox move Buehler to pen as RHP eyes 'reset'

NEW YORK — The Boston Red Sox are pulling Walker Buehler from their rotation and sending the struggling right-hander to the bullpen.

“It’s going to be his new role,” manager Alex Cora said Friday before the Red Sox continued a four-game series with the Yankees. “We’ll figure out how it goes, maybe one inning, multiple innings. Whatever it is, we don’t know yet.”

Buehler’s next scheduled start would have been the opener of a four-game series in Baltimore on Monday. The Red Sox did not immediately announce who would take his turn. Right-hander Richard Fitts, currently with the Red Sox, and left-hander Kyle Harrison, who is at Triple A after being acquired in the Rafael Devers trade, are options.

“It’s obviously disappointing,” Buehler said. “It’s the first time in my career that I’ve been in a situation like that, but at the end of the day, the organization and, to a lesser extent, myself, kind of think it’s probably the right thing for our group and it gives me an opportunity to kind of reset in some ways.”

In his first season with the Red Sox after seven seasons with the Dodgers, Buehler is 7-7 with a 5.40 ERA in 22 starts and has allowed a career-worst 21 homers. He was 4-1 with a 4.28 ERA in his first six starts but is 3-6 with a 6.37 ERA over his past 16 outings. He also missed two weeks in May because of bursitis in his pitching shoulder.

“He’s been very frustrated with the way he has pitched,” Cora said. “I still believe in him. He’s a big part of what we’re trying to accomplish.”

Buehler last started in Wednesday’s 11-inning loss to the Orioles and allowed two runs in four innings while throwing 75 pitches. It was the ninth time this season he did not complete five innings.

After the game, he didn’t fault Cora for the quick hook.

“At some point, the leash I’m given has been earned,” he told reporters. “I think they did the right thing in coming to get me before the [Gunnar] Henderson at-bat. Our bullpen has been great. For me, personally, I think everything went according to plan until the fifth. You go double, four-pitch walk. The way I’ve been throwing it, it all kind of makes sense.”

Buehler also issued 54 walks in 110 innings this season for a career-high 4.4 walks per nine innings.

The Red Sox signed Buehler to a one-year, $21.05 million contract in December. The deal contains an additional $2.5 million in performance bonuses. The Red Sox also gave Buehler a $3.05 million signing bonus and includes a $25 million mutual option for 2026 with a $3 million buyout.

Buehler was 1-6 with a 5.38 ERA and pitched 75⅓ innings in the 2024 regular season for the Dodgers after missing all of 2023 recovering from Tommy John surgery. He helped the Dodgers win their second championship since 1988 by going 1-1 with a 3.60 ERA and pitched a perfect ninth for the save in Game 5 of the World Series against the Yankees.

Buehler’s only previous relief experience was eight appearances as a rookie in 2017. His last relief appearance was June 28, 2018, when he allowed a run in five innings after missing time because of a rib injury.

A two-time All Star in 2019 and 2021, Buehler is 54-29 in 153 appearances. He finished fourth in voting for the National League Cy Young Award in 2021 after going 16-4 with a 2.47 ERA in 33 starts when he threw 207⅔ innings.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

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