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[Editor’s note: The letdown after UConn-UMass is very real, but a pair of Pac-12 teams are stepping up (or down?) to save the day in Arizona and Colorado. Meanwhile, what’s an NFL team doing in here?]

Inspirational thought of the week:

Where do we go from here, now that all of the children have grown up?

And how do we spend our time knowin’ nobody gives us a damn?

I don’t wanna live here no more, I don’t wanna stay

Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life quietly fading away

— “Where Do We Go From Here?” The Alan Parsons Project

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the room at ESPN where Andre Ware, Robert Griffin III, Desmond Howard and Tim Tebow keep their Heisman trophies (and, yes, at night they totally pull a “Toy Story” and run the Oklahoma drill when no humans are around), we have spent the past several days reflecting on a conversation we once had with Scott Carpenter, one of the original Mercury 7 astronauts.

I asked Carpenter if there was one secret about America’s space heroes, something few truly understood, about their daring lives. He replied, “A very common problem for all of us has been depression. Why is that? Because we accomplished things at young ages that we knew we could never exceed. Most of the men who walked on the moon were in their 30s. You look ahead to the rest of your life and think, ‘I peaked so big, so early; where can I possibly go from here?’ You are charged with finding another great challenge.”

This is the mental space within which we have found ourselves trapped ever since dinnertime Saturday night. Because after two years of buildup, the UConn-UMass football game was over.

While the Minutemen celebrated their first win in 17 games and the Huskies did not, we stared forlornly out the window and into the remainder of the 2021 season. Where indeed were we supposed go from here? Then a friend of mine in Boulder, Colorado, hometown of Scott Carpenter, texted me: “HOLY COW HOW BAD IS THIS ARIZONA VS BUFFS GAME GONNA BE NEXT WEEK?”

Commander Carpenter, we have found another great challenge.

With apologies to Charles Frank, John Glenn, Dan Orlovsky (again) and Steve Harvey, here’s the 2021 Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. U-Can’t (0-7)

The nation’s first seven-loss team is now up to 11 games — and one year and 11½ months — without a victory. This weekend, it plays a nonscholarship FCS 2-2 Ivy League team in Yale … and ESPN’s sorcerously accurate FPI computers say that there is only a 40% chance that the Huskies will beat the Bulldogs. Woof.

2. unLv (0-5)

One week ago, the Fightin’ Tarks had already matched UConn’s drought by losing their 11th straight. They also have suffered injuries to all three quarterbacks. And this weekend, they are a touchdown underdog to visiting Utah State. What’s worse, the Roomba people just did an inspection of Allegiant Stadium, and it’s all clogged up with Legos, Skittles and Barbie shoes.

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End zone! Brittain Brown scores a 48-yard rushing touchdown versus Arizona.

3. By the Time I Get to Arizona (0-5)

Arizona travels to face the Colora-duh Muffaloes, who failed to cover the spread against Open Date U. after falling to 1-4 on Oct. 2. If Arizona loses this Mountain Time edition of the Pillow Fight of the Week, this will officially be the worst performance by a group of Wildcats since “High School Musical 2.”

4. FI(not A)U (1-5)

We owe Conference USA an apology. While we were fixating on our usual Bottom 10 haunts of the #MACtion and the Mountain West West, Conference USA has produced not one, not two, not three … but five one-win teams. The top/bottom of those squads can be found on the Butch Davis Retirement Tour, where the Panthers’ only win this season was against the Long Island University Sharks, who are apparently an actual thing. Now, Florida International will spend four of its last six games facing fellow one-win teams, starting this weekend with the 1-4 Western Kentucky Shrilltoppers, followed by Old Duh-Minions, the North Texas Lean Green and Southern Missed. It’s a C-USA round-robin, if round-robin means a robin who drank too many rounds.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-5)

Yeah, we know this is an NFL team sitting in the Coveted Fifth Spot, but the Jaguars’ quarterback and their coach were both in college like an hour ago, and they are currently operating at a substandard level of football that is certainly worthy of standing, or falling, alongside these fellow hot messes from the collegiate ranks. Plus, I haven’t written or said anything to make Ohio State fans mad in several weeks, so I’m due.

6. UMess (1-5)

Great moment. Great win. Great defeat of one’s closest rival in UConn. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Minutemen. Wait … actually, yes, let’s do get ahead of ourselves here, looking ahead to Thanksgiving and a trip to …

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Berdale Robins rips the ball out and takes it all the way to the house for a 25-yard TD.

7. Whew Mexico State (1-6)

While the Other Aggies were in the process of surrendering six TD passes in a 55-28 loss to Nevada at the exact same time that Texas A&M was upsetting Alabama and two weeks ahead of their game with Utah State, we received a tweet from Bottom 10 devotee Ken Langston that read: “Since Whew Mexico St. is worse than both Texas A&M and Utah St. shouldn’t they be the Other Other Aggies?”

8. Kansas Nayhawks (1-4)

As many Nayhawks fans have reminded me, they are already concentrating on hoops, as basketball practice began Oct. 1 with Late Night in the Phog. In related news, this weekend marks the start of a seven-week stretch of Big 12 conference games to end the 2021 football season, aka All Fall in the Fog.

9. Arkansaw State (1-4)

On Monday, Red Wolves coach Butch Jones said to the Little Rock Touchdown Club, “I know there are a lot of Razorback fans here, but let us be your B team until we play in 2025.” Then he added, “We are going to build an SEC atmosphere in our locker room at Arkansas State.” When asked how he was going to build that, he said hard work. What he meant to say was by using that SEC paycheck from Arkansas.

10. Bowling in Akron in Ohio (2-4/2-4/1-5)

The Akron Zips were favored to beat Ohio Not State two weeks ago but lost 34-17. Then they turned around and beat Boiling Green in a game where they were listed as a two-TD underdog. Meanwhile, Ohio followed up its win over Akron by blowing a fourth-quarter lead at home against Central Michigan. So now, Akron has more wins than Ohio, but Ohio’s only win was against Akron and … clearly we know Zip about how any of this works.

Waiting list: US(not C)F, Tulame, Tulsa Folden Hurricane, The Yew, Western Kentucky Shrilltoppers, Old Duh-minions, Southern Missed, North Texas Lean Green, Colora-duh State, Cow Berkeley, Georgia State Not Southern, Georgia Southern Not State, COVID-19.

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Johnston nets 2 as Stars move within 1 win of WCF

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Johnston nets 2 as Stars move within 1 win of WCF

DENVER — Wyatt Johnston scored twice on the eve of his birthday as the Dallas Stars pushed Colorado to the brink of elimination Monday night with a 5-1 victory.

Johnston had shorthanded and power-play goals for the Stars, who grabbed a 3-1 lead in the second-round, best-of-seven series. Dallas can close it out at home in Game 5 on Wednesday.

Miro Heiskanen and Evgenii Dadonov also scored, while Sam Steel added a late empty-net goal. Jake Oettinger made 24 saves.

About an hour before the game, the National Hockey League and National Hockey League Players’ Association announced that Nichushkin was suspended for at least six months without pay. He was placed in stage 3 of the league’s player assistance program. It’s the second time this season Nichushkin has been in the program.

A Colorado lineup missing Nichushkin, the team’s leading goal scorer (nine) in this playoff run, struggled early to get on track and was outshot by a 16-2 margin in the first period. Casey Mittelstadt scored Colorado’s lone goal.

“We talked about (how) we’d been the best road team all year because regardless of the building or the lineup for the other team, who’s in, who’s out, we approach the game the same way,” Dallas coach Peter DeBoer said, “and took care of business.”

Colorado’s defense was unable to prevent Johnston and the Stars from building a 3-0 lead in the second period, and because of the hot start in the first, Dallas maintained its streak of not trailing in regulation at any point during the series. And the Stars have outscored the Avalanche 6-0 in the opening period alone.

Johnston, who turns 21 on Tuesday, scored his 10th and 11th career playoff goals. He became the eighth player in NHL history to reach double-digit postseason goals at age 20 or younger, according to league research.

Johnston took advantage of a Cale Makar turnover late in the first period and scored a shorthanded goal to give the Stars a 1-0 lead. It’s the second shorthanded goal of the series for Dallas.

“That was our worst game of the series,” Colorado coach Jared Bednar said after the loss, adding that it “atrocious.”

It wasn’t all good news for the road team, though. The Stars saw forward Roope Hintz leave the game after suffering an upper-body injury in the opening period. In his postgame news conference, DeBoer said he’d have more injury information on Hintz on Tuesday.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Rangers drop 2 in row, to ‘see what we’re made of’

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Rangers drop 2 in row, to 'see what we're made of'

NEW YORK — New York Rangers captain Jacob Trouba said their failure to close out the Carolina Hurricanes at home in Game 5 presents an important character test for his team.

“I don’t think we thought this was going to be a cakewalk,” Trouba said after the Rangers’ 4-1 loss on Monday night, which narrowed New York’s series lead to 3-2. “We’ve lost two games [in a row]. We’re facing a little adversity. We’ll see what we’re made of going down to Carolina for Game 6.”

The Rangers entered the third period with a 1-0 lead thanks to Trouba’s short-handed goal in the second frame. But the desperate Hurricanes took over the game by scoring three goals in 6:23.

Jordan Staal evened the score with his first goal of the playoffs. Just 3:06 later, Evgeny Kuznetsov netted his fourth of the postseason to give Carolina the lead. Jordan Martinook added a critical third goal before Martin Necas sealed the win with an empty-netter.

“It kind of snowballed quick on us. This was a bad period,” Trouba said. “It’s different than a regular season, where you feel bad all night and tomorrow you wake up and you’re upset. You got to turn the page quick.”

His teammate, Vincent Trocheck, didn’t see the third period the same way.

“I don’t know if I’m going to say something snowballed tonight,” he said. “They scored a couple goals in the third. It’s a seven-game series against a team that was three points behind us in the regular season. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy.”

Coach Peter Laviolette also didn’t believe the third period was the reason New York dropped Game 5.

“It was more than the third period. We weren’t sharp. We gave up way too many chances in the first period and then it died off after that,” he said.

The Rangers’ power play, which scored 10 goals in five games during a recent stretch against Washington and Carolina, went scoreless for a third straight game, the unit’s longest dry spell since March.

Meanwhile, Carolina scored three goals at even strength against New York goaltender Igor Shesterkin, marking the first time Shesterkin allowed three goals in the third period of a playoff game.

Hurricanes captain Staal said the team is starting to feel like itself again.

“Yeah, obviously wins help. But we really believe we had some good games [to start the series], but we had some mistakes, especially with the special teams, and that’s gotten a lot better,” he said. “I think our 5-on-5 game has been really good and it’s coming together more and more.

“Wins are nice. We’ve got to just keep fighting.”

Staal has played in 146 playoff games during his NHL career and has seen how hard it is to finish an opponent.

“Game 5s are tough, especially when you’re at home. You don’t want to go back on the road and you want to close it out,” he said. “But we gave it all we got, we found a way to get a win and we’re going to have to do it all over again.”

Trouba took an optimistic approach to the Game 5 loss: Since the Rangers won the first three games of the series, there was some margin for error.

“Obviously we want to close out series, but we put ourselves in a position that we get a couple cracks at it,” he said. “We played good games in Carolina. We know we can play in that building, and we’ll go down there and bring a better game.”

Game 6 is Thursday night in Raleigh.

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Canes score 4 in 3rd to beat Rangers, stay alive

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Canes score 4 in 3rd to beat Rangers, stay alive

NEW YORK — Jordan Staal and Evgeny Kuznetsov scored 3:06 apart in the third period, and the Carolina Hurricanes got four goals in the third for a 4-1 win over the New York Rangers in Game 5 of the second-round playoff series on Monday night, staving off elimination for the second straight game.

Jordan Martinook and Martin Necas also scored in the Hurricanes’ big third period, and Frederik Andersen — starting for the fourth time in five games in this series and ninth time in 10 games in the postseason — had 20 saves.

Jacob Trouba scored a short-handed goal and Igor Shesterkin stopped 24 shots for New York, which has lost two straight after taking a 3-0 series lead.

Game 6 is Thursday night in Raleigh, North Carolina.

The Hurricanes won despite going 0 for 3 on the power play to fall to 1 for 20 in this series while giving up a short-handed goal for the second time.

Staal tied it 1-1 at 3:33 as he got a pass from Dmitry Orlov, skated around one Rangers defender in the left circle, came in on Shesterkin and beat him with a backhanded shot that went around the leg of the sprawled goalie. It was Orlov’s first goal of the playoffs.

Kuznetsov then gave the Hurricanes the lead as he knocked in the rebound of Brady Skjei‘s shot from the right side for his fourth of the postseason.

Martinook made it 3-1 just before the midpoint of the period. Necas sent a centering pass from the end boards, and the puck went off Jack Drury‘s stick to Martinook, and he quickly sent a shot that beat Shesterkin.

The Rangers pulled Shesterkin for an extra skater with 3:44 to go, but Necas sent a long shot that went into the empty net 15 seconds later.

The Rangers got a power play when Orlov was called for roughing at 3:47 of the second period. Shortly after the penalty expired, New York’s Jack Roslovic was whistled for tripping, putting Carolina’s struggling power play on the advantage. However, it was the Rangers who broke through.

Trouba blocked a shot by Sebastian Aho, skated up the ice on 2-on-1 rush and fired a shot from the right circle that beat Andersen at 6:23. It was his first goal of the playoffs and the Rangers’ fourth short-handed tally.

The Hurricanes got another power play at the midpoint of the period, but didn’t get a shot on goal during the advantage. Shesterkin then denied Drury’s point-blank try with 6 minutes to go in the second.

Carolina had a 10-9 advantage on shots on goal in a scoreless and fast-paced first period. Both teams had chances and the goalies had to make several nice saves.

Shesterkin had a skate save on Staal about 2 1/2 minutes in and then had a pad save on another try by Staal at 8:41. He also turned aside Jake Guenzel’s breakaway attempt with about 3 minutes remaining.

Andersen had a right pad save on Chris Kreider in close with about 6 minutes to in the period.

New York got the first power play of the game when Kuznetsov was sent off for slashing with 1:55 left in the first. However, the Rangers managed just one shot on goal during the advantage.

Rangers rookie sensation Matt Rempe was back in the starting lineup after sitting out Games 3 and 4. Filip Chytil played in his place in Game 3 and Jonny Brodzinski in Game 4.

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