[Editor’s note: The number of winless teams keeps dwindling, which means changes at the top of the Bottom 10. Could a Power 5 team in Arizona win the whole thing? And what is Tennessee doing in here?]
Inspirational thought of the week:
Why be afraid if I’m not alone? Though life is never easy, the rest in unknown And up to now for me it’s been, hands against stone Spent each and every moment, searching for what to believe
Coming out of the dark I finally see the light now And it’s shining on me Coming out of the dark
— “Coming Out of the Dark,” Gloria Estefan
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the storage room where Stephania Bell keeps all her rubber injury demo skeletons, we are often asked, “Hey, what’s the best part of the Bottom 10 experience?”
Well, besides the hate mail, death threats and the continuing effort by angry Tennessee fans to have my UT diploma revoked, the most beautiful aspect of living in the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe is when a team we have watched lose for so long finally wins. It happened two weekends ago when UMass defeated UConn and again seven days later when UConn defeated Yale.
And when a team really turns it around? Like, it doesn’t just win a game, it wins ALL its games, for us it’s like watching your kids go off to college and seeing all their wildest dreams come true. And if that college was, say, former Bottom 10 stalwart R.O.C.K. in the UTSA, its wildest dream was to defeat Rice, reach 7-0 and be ranked for the first time ever.
What we’re saying is, there is hope for all. Yes, there is light, even for those who are lost in the darkness of the catacombs of the Bottom 10. But take a hint from UTSA. Be a Roadrunner and know when to run toward the light at the end of the tunnel and when to run away from it. Until then, you’re just one of the Wile E. Coyotes who are on the list below.
With apologies to Chuck Jones, Mel Blanc and Steve Harvey, here’s the 2021 Week 7 Bottom 10 rankings.
1. unLv (0-6)
The Fightin’ Tark Sharks snatched defeat from the Jaws of victory, leading Utah State essentially the entire game before surrendering the losing TD with 35 seconds remaining. The good news? They weren’t even close to having the worst week among teams who play their home games at Allegiant Stadium … and the other team even won its game.
2. By The Time I Get To Arizona (0-6)
Did you have that one “friend” who would ruin every sleepover pillow fight by hiding something like a hardcover book in the pillowcase and smacking you upside the head with it? That’s what the Colora-duh Muffaloes did to Arizona in the Pac-12 Pillow Fight of the Week, winning 34-0. Now the Mildcats travel to Warshington for Pac-12 Pillow Fight of the Week: Episode II. The Other Huskies’ only two wins this season came against a pair of Bottom 10 Waiting List members, Arkansaw State and Cow Berkeley. Speaking of Huskies …
3. U-Can’t (1-7)
While the win was great and all, it did come against a 2-2 non-scholarship FCS team after nearly blowing a 21-0 lead, and the game was decided on a Yale Hail Mary (Yale Mary?) that was run twice because UConn had 12 men on the field on the first attempt and handed the Elis a do-over. Now UConn hosts Middle Tennessee, a team that has spent all season on the Conference USA one-to-two-win Bottom 10 Waiting List carousel of pain. The game is on Friday night, which is fitting because these days the crowds at The Rent make it look like a high school game. Speaking of C-USA …
4. FI(not A)U (1-5)
Word is that Bottom 10 regulars Minute Rice, the North Texas Lean Green and FI(not A)U archrival FA(not I)U, as well as three other schools, are pursuing leaving Conference USA for the American Athletic Conference of American Athletics of America. You know you’re having a rough season when you’re even losing big during an open date.
5. Tennessee fans (4-3)
This week’s Coveted Fifth Spot is reserved for those individuals who decided to turn the hallowed ground of Neyland Stadium into a trash bin, aka Colonel Mustard and his band of merry hillbillies. If General Neyland were still alive, not only would he have already hunted down those who dared to sully his namesake football cathedral, he would currently have them on maggot nest duty at the University of Tennessee’s famed forensics school body farm.
6. Kansas Nayhawks (1-5)
KU lost to Texas Tech 41-14 but trailed 41-0 with only 52 seconds remaining in the game. Those final two TDs were scored after Tech had already loaded all its gear and players onto the team bus to try to make an earlier flight home.
7. UMess (1-5)
The Minutemen survived their bye week leading into Saturday’s trip to Florida State, but just barely. After their team beat UConn to snap a 16-game losing streak, everyone in Amherst kept bringing over cases of Sam Adams and boxes of crullers from Dunkies.
8. Whew Mexico State (1-6)
The Other Aggies barely covered the spread against the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U, but this week are sure to cover the beach barbecue spread when they travel to Hawaii. Heads up, NMSU, that guy asleep on the beach with the Rip Van Winkle beard and the faded 2002 Hula Bowl hoodie is Nick Rolovich. Don’t wake him.
9. Old Duh-minions (1-6)
If you’re looking to put some money on a team that could make a late fall run in the Bottom 10, keep an eye on the Monarchs, who could slip from their throne like it was covered in Crisco. They play Bottom 10 flirts Louisiana Tech, Middle Tennessee and Florida International, as well as 3-3 Florida Atlantic and the Charlotte 4-and-2’ers. Lose all of those and they will have a résumé worth considering. Also, if you’re looking to put some money on a team that could make a late fall run in the Bottom 10, then you most definitely have a gambling problem.
10. US(not C)F (1-5)
There are 14 one-win teams in FBS football and three are lumped together at the bottom of the American Athletic Conference of American Athletics. Two of those teams will face off on Nov. 20, when South Florida visits Tulame in what might very well be part of the Bottom 10 playoffs, taking place over the final two weekends of the regular season. The third one-win AAC team is Navy, which doesn’t play USF or Tulane. Also, we refuse to rank the Midshipmen anyway because: One, we love America, and two, we don’t want a cruise missile to land in our living room.
Waiting list: Arkansaw State, Ohio Not State, Tulame, Vanderbilt Commode Doors, The Yew, Southern Missed, North Texas Lean Green, Ill-ugh-noise, Cow Berkeley, Georgia Southern Not State, COVID-19.
PHILADELPHIA — Mick Abel couldn’t sustain his sublime major league debut and is headed to the minors.
Taijuan Walker is back in Philadelphia’s rotation. And anticipation that prized prospect Andrew Painter could be headed to the Phillies will stretch past the All-Star break.
The Phillies demoted Abel, the rookie right-hander who has struggled since he struck out nine in his major league debut, to Triple-A Lehigh Valley. The Phillies also recalled reliever Seth Johnson from Lehigh Valley ahead of Friday’s loss to Cincinnati.
The 23-year-old Abel made six starts for the Phillies and went 2-2 with 5.04 ERA with 21 strikeouts and nine walks.
“Mick needed to go down and breathe a little bit,” manager Rob Thomson said. “Just get a little reset. It’s not uncommon.”
A 6-foot-5 right-hander selected 15th overall by the Phillies in the 2020 amateur draft, Abel dazzled against Pittsburgh in May when his nine strikeouts tied a Phillies high for a debut, set by Curt Simmons against the New York Giants on Sept. 28, 1947.
Abel hasn’t pitched beyond the fifth inning in any of his last four starts and was rocked for five runs in 1⅔ innings Wednesday against San Diego.
Abel was 3-12 with a 6.46 ERA last year for Lehigh Valley, walking 78 in 108⅔ innings. He improved to 5-2 with a 2.53 ERA in eight minor league starts this year, walking 19 in 46⅓ innings.
“This guy’s had a really good year,” Thomson said. “His poise, his composure is outstanding. He’s really grown. We just need to get back to that. Just attack the zone and get through adversity.”
The Phillies will give Walker another start in Abel’s place against San Francisco. Walker has bounced between the rotation and the bullpen over the past two seasons. He has made eight starts with 11 relief appearances this season and is 3-5 with one save and a 3.64 ERA.
Thomson had said he wanted to give Walker an extended look in the bullpen. Abel’s struggles instead forced Walker — in the third year of a four-year, $72-million contract — back to the rotation. For now.
“He always considers himself a starter and ultimately wants to start,” Thomson said. “He’ll do anything for the ballclub, because he’s that type of guy, but I think he’s generally happy he’s going to go back into a normal routine, normal for him, anyway.”
Wheeler, Suárez and Sánchez have been lights-out in the rotation this year and helped lead the Phillies into first place in the NL East. Jesús Luzardo was a pleasant early season surprise but has struggled over the past two months and gave up six runs in two-plus innings in Friday’s 9-6 loss to the Reds.
“I still have all the confidence in the world in Luzardo,” Thomson said. “Everybody’s going to have bad outings here and there. I think we’re still fine.”
Thomson said he had not made a final decision on who will be the fifth starter after the All-Star break. Painter has two more scheduled starts in Triple-A before the MLB All-Star break and could earn a spot in the rotation. The 22-year-old will not pitch in the All-Star Futures Game as part of the plan to keep him on a hopeful path to the rotation.
Painter hurt an elbow during spring training in 2023 and had Tommy John surgery later that year. He was the 13th overall pick in the 2021 amateur draft and signed for a $3.9 million bonus.
Because of the All-Star break and a quirk in the schedule that has them off on all five Thursdays in July, the Phillies won’t even need a fifth starter after next week until July 22.
Aaron Nola could be back by August as he works his way back from a rib injury. Nola will spend the All-Star break rehabbing in Florida and needs one or two minor league starts before he can rejoin the rotation.
Jesse joined ESPN Chicago in September 2009 and covers MLB for ESPN.com.
CHICAGO — Chicago Cubs righty Jameson Taillon was placed on the injured list on Friday with a right calf strain, the team announced before its game against the St. Louis Cardinals. He’s expected to miss “more than a month,” according to manager Craig Counsell.
Taillon, 33, injured his calf on his last wind sprint after a bullpen session on Thursday.
“He’s going to miss a pretty significant amount of time,” Counsell said.
Taillon was 7-6 with a 4.44 ERA in 17 starts for the Cubs this season who just got lefty Shota Imanaga back from a hamstring injury. Now they’ll have to navigate at least the rest of this month without one of their other key starters.
“There’s a little room for us to be flexible right now,” Counsell said citing the upcoming All-Star break. “We’ll use that to our advantage and we’ll go from there.”
The team recalled left-hander Jordan Wicks to take Taillon’s spot on the roster, though he won’t go directly into the rotation. Instead, the Cubs will throw a bullpen game on Saturday against the Cardinals and “go from there,” according to Counsell.
Wicks, 25, went 1-3 with one save, a 4.06 ERA and 46 strikeouts in 12 appearances (11 starts) with Triple-A Iowa this season. In his past five starts dating to May 18, he posted a 1.65 ERA with 20 strikeouts, compared to just three walks, a 0.86 WHIP and a .186 opponent batting average.
The team might also consider a bigger role for righty Chris Flexen who has been fantastic for them out of the bullpen. Flexen, 31, has a 0.62 ERA in 16 games, including a four inning stint late last month.
“He’s a candidate to be stretched out for sure,” Counsell said. “He’s prepared to do a little bit more.”
Cubs brass have already stated they are looking for starting pitching before the trade deadline later this month. Counsell was asked if Taillon’s injury increases that need. He didn’t take the bait.
“The trade deadline isn’t until July 31,” he said. “I’m focused on the next week or 10 games before the All-Star break.”
CLEVELAND — Guardians outfielder Lane Thomas left during the sixth inning of Friday night’s game against the Detroit Tigers due to mild plantar fascia symptoms with his right foot.
Thomas missed 11 games in late May and early June because of plantar fasciitis in his right foot. He is batting .160 this season and .197 (13-for-66) since coming off the injured list on June 9. He does have four homers in his past 10 games.
“We think he’s good. The plantar fasciitis flared up a little bit again and I just didn’t like the way he looked running around the outfield. So rather than take a chance, I got him out of there,” manager Stephen Vogt said after the 2-1 loss to the Tigers.
Thomas also missed five weeks due to a right wrist bone bruise after getting hit by a pitch during the April 8 home opener against the Chicago White Sox.