Maybe someday I’ll be more together Stretched by fewer thoughts that leave me Chasing after my dreams, disown me, loaded with danger So maybe I’ll win … Saved by zero Maybe I’ll win … Saved by zero
— “Saved by Zero,” The Fixx
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the Pixar character rental office where they loaned out that red Anger face from “Inside Out” that Nick Saban borrowed for the Alabama–Tennessee game, we are wondering what the heck happened to our numerical BFF. You know, our old pal zero? Cero? Nula? Zewo?
When the final buzzer blared over the last late-night games on Saturday night/Sunday morning and the cigar smoke from Knoxville had finally cleared, we realized that … wait … could it be true?! We’re not even into November yet and there are now no zero-win teams remaining? Nil. Nada. Zilch. It’s the truth, thanks to Colorado’s overtime win over Cal.
It’s weird, right? I mean, sure, we’re used to seeing plenty of 0’s on scoreboards when the clock reads 00:00. We’re accustomed to knowing that zero of our teams will receive bowl berths. We’re plenty familiar with the feeling of knowing the answer when someone asks, “Hey, how many votes did your teams receive in the preseason media polls?” or “How many Bottom 10 teams are playing in prime time on ABC this weekend?” Scratch. Goose egg. Diddly squat.
But then, just as we have given up hope when it comes to ever seeing another zero sum in front of the hyphen and all those losses, a hero rises. A new No. 1 Bottom 10 team. And though it may no longer have a “0-” at the front of its record, its very name steps in to fill the sudden volumeless void.
The Zips.
With apologies to George Plimpton, Damian Lillard and Steve Harvey, here’s the post-Week 7 Bottom 10 rankings.
1. Akronmonious (1-5)
And there was one, as in one remaining #MACtion team with one win. Just three weeks ago, most of the conference fit that description. And then the Zips played Not Eastern Or Western But Central Michigan in the Pillow Fight of the Week Episode VI: The MACtion Menace. And then they were tied with 2:01 to go, with the ball and driving. And then this happened.
The Minutemen got Buffaloed by the Bulls Not Bills 34-7 and now face the Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U., who have been installed as a six-touchdown favorite.
3. North by Northworstern (1-5)
Speaking of off weeks, the Mildcats spent theirs licking their post-Wisconsin wounds while Wisconsin spent its weekend making Northwestern’s 42-7 loss to the coachless Badgers even Northworstern as they lost to then-2-4 Bottom 10 Wait Listers Michigan State in double overtime. Now NU travels east for the kind of classic regional rivalry that is quickly becoming the trademark of the Big Ten, a visit to Maryland.
4. Nevada Oof Pack (2-5)
Wait, where did these guys come from? They weren’t even on the Waiting List two weeks ago, but now they jump/fall all the way to No. 4. How? A Week 6 loss to then-No. 1 Colorado State, followed by a Week 7 defeat at the hands of then-No. 2 Hawai’i. It’s the worst week for Nevadans since the government triggered a bunch of atomic bombs outside of Las Vegas and sold it as a tourist attraction. This time the mushroom cloud is coming from Reno.
5. Kansas Nayhawks (5-2)
As my dad told us when Santa brought us a huge new Death Star toy and we immediately blew it up with firecrackers, “You can’t have nice things!” The latest example: Kansas, which went 5-0, was ranked 19th in that other poll and hosted College GameDay … then went and lost two in a row. If we’re being honest, perhaps the Nayhawks are back here simply because we missed them. An itch we couldn’t scratch. A spot of rash that can only be smoothed by slathering of the ointment that is the Coveted Fifth Spot.
6. FI(not A)U (2-4)
The second-worst team named Panthers (behind the NFLers from Carolina) have run a Bottom 10 gauntlet — and by gauntlet we mean a rubber kitchen glove — with a win over Whew Mexico State but a 21-point loss to UCan’t. We don’t really know who they are, but will when they travel north to the home of those other Panthers for the Pillow Fight of the Week against …
7. Charlotte 1-and-6ers (1-6)
Remember way back to Week 4 when Charlotte beat Georgia State Not Southern? Since then, the 1-and-6ers haven’t won again, but Georgia State beat Georgia Southern, which beat Nebraska and just beat No. 25 James Madison, which beat Appalachian State, which beat then-No. 6 Texas A&M, which beat then-No. 10 Arkansas, which just beat BYU, which beat Stanford, which was on the Bottom 10 Waiting List last week but is there no longer because it just beat Notre Dame, which lost to Cal, which just lost to Colorado, which was the top/bottom-ranked Bottom 10 team. This is like that movie “Inception,” but if Leo DiCaprio had spent the entire movie slipping on banana peels.
8. US(notC)F (1-6)
The Bulls have mostly hovered around this list all season because if one watches them closely enough, they know that this team has been competitive in a lot of games against much more talented teams. But when you get into the second half of October and you are one of only seven FBS teams with one win, then you become like Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction,” screaming from the pirate ship at Raymond James Stadium, “I won’t be IGNORED, DAN!” Dan being me, wondering where my rabbit went.
9. Colora-duh State (1-5)
The Rams made a statement in Week 6 when they defeated No-vada for their first win of the season. Then they made a follow-up statement by losing to Utah State, which had its third-string quarterback under center. The Rams game this weekend against Hawai’i was going to be a candidate for Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of the Century, but then the Rainbow Warriors beat Nevada too. Why do you hate us, Nevada?
10. Whew Mexico (2-5)
Speaking of teams which keep tossing our worst-laid plans in the shredder, Whew Mexico State was looking at an epic Bottom 10 autumn with a Halloween visit to UMess and a pre-Turkey Day wobble to 2-4 Mizz-lose. But then it went and won the Battle of I-25 against Whew Mexico, now renamed the Battle of I-2-and-5.
Waiting List: Colora-duh, Whew Mexico State, ULM (pronounced “Uhlm”), Temple of Doom, Living on Tulsa Time, Huh-why-yuh, Arkan-saw State, Mizz-lose, Western not Eastern or Central Michigan, Lose-iana Tech, pretty much every team in Virginia, throwing the most awesome post-win souvenir into a river.
ESPN baseball reporter. Covered the Washington Wizards from 2014 to 2016 and the Washington Nationals from 2016 to 2018 for The Washington Post before covering the Los Angeles Dodgers and MLB for the Los Angeles Times from 2018 to 2024.
NEW YORK — Giancarlo Stanton, one of the first known adopters of the torpedo bat, declined Tuesday to say whether he believes using it last season caused the tendon ailments in both elbows that forced him to begin this season on the injured list.
Last month, Stanton alluded to “bat adjustments” he made last season as a possible reason for the epicondylitis, commonly known as tennis elbow, he’s dealing with.
“You’re not going to get the story you’re looking for,” Stanton said. “So, if that’s what you guys want, that ain’t going to happen.”
Stanton said he will continue using the torpedo bat when he returns from injury. The 35-year-old New York Yankees slugger, who has undergone multiple rounds of platelet-rich plasma injections to treat his elbows, shared during spring training that season-ending surgery on both elbows was a possibility. But he has progressed enough to recently begin hitting off a Trajekt — a pitching robot that simulates any pitcher’s windup, arm angle and arsenal. However, he still wouldn’t define his return as “close.”
He said he will first have to go on a minor league rehab assignment at an unknown date for an unknown period. It won’t start in the next week, he added.
“This is very unique,” Stanton said. “I definitely haven’t missed a full spring before. So, it just depends on my timing, really, how fast I get to feel comfortable in the box versus live pitching.”
While the craze of the torpedo bat (also known as the bowling pin bat) has swept the baseball world since it was revealed Saturday — while the Yankees were blasting nine home runs against the Milwaukee Brewers — that a few members of the Yankees were using one, the modified bat already had quietly spread throughout the majors in 2024. Both Stanton and former Yankees catcher Jose Trevino, now with the Cincinnati Reds, were among players who used the bats last season after being introduced to the concept by Aaron Leanhardt, an MIT-educated physicist and former minor league hitting coordinator for the organization.
Stanton explained he has changed bats before. He said he has usually adjusted the length. Sometimes, he opts for lighter bats at the end of the long season. In the past, when knuckleballers were more common in the majors, he’d opt for heavier lumber.
Last year, he said he simply chose his usual bat but with a different barrel after experimenting with a few models.
“I mean, it makes a lot of sense,” Stanton said. “But it’s, like, why hasn’t anyone thought of it in 100-plus years? So, it’s explained simply and then you try it and as long as it’s comfortable in your hands [it works]. We’re creatures of habit, so the bat’s got to feel kind of like a glove or an extension of your arm.”
Stanton went on to lead the majors with an average bat velocity of 81.2 mph — nearly 3 mph ahead of the competition. He had a rebound, but not spectacular, regular season in which he batted .233 with 27 home runs and a .773 OPS before clubbing seven home runs in 14 playoff games.
“It’s not like [it was] unreal all of a sudden for me,” Stanton said.
Yankees manager Aaron Boone described the torpedo bats “as the evolution of equipment” comparable to getting fitted for new golf clubs. He said the organization is not pushing players to use them and insisted the science is more complicated than just picking a bat with a different barrel.
“There’s a lot more to it than, ‘I’ll take the torpedo bat on the shelf over there — 34 [inches], 32 [ounces],'” Boone said. “Our guys are way more invested in it than that. And really personalized, really work with our players in creating this stuff. But it’s equipment evolving.”
As players around the majors order torpedo bats in droves after the Yankees’ barrage over the weekend — they clubbed a record-tying 13 homers in two games against the Brewers — Boone alluded to the notion that, though everyone is aware of the concept, not every organization can optimize its usage.
“You’re trying to just, where you can on the margins, move the needle a little bit,” Boone said. “And that’s really all you’re going to do. I don’t think this is some revelation to where we’re going to be; it’s not related to the weekend that we had, for example. Like, I don’t think it’s that. Maybe in some cases, for some players, it may help them incrementally. That’s how I view it.”
Eovaldi struck out eight and walked none in his fifth career complete game. The right-hander threw 99 pitches, 70 for strikes.
It was Eovaldi’s first shutout since April 29, 2023, against the Yankees and just the third of his career. He became the first Ranger with multiple career shutouts with no walks in the past 30 seasons, according to ESPN Research.
“I feel like, by the fifth or sixth inning, that my pitch count was down, and I feel like we had a really good game plan going into it,” Eovaldi said in his on-field postgame interview on Victory+. “I thought [Texas catcher Kyle Higashioka] called a great game. We were on the same page throughout the entire game.”
In the first inning, Wyatt Langford homered for Texas against Carson Spiers (0-1), and that proved to be all Eovaldi needed. A day after Cincinnati collected 14 hits in a 14-3 victory in the series opener, Eovaldi (1-0) silenced the lineup.
“We needed it, these bats are still quiet,” Texas manager Bruce Bochy said of his starter’s outing. “It took a well-pitched game like that. What a game.”
The Reds put the tying run on second with two out in the ninth, but Eovaldi retired Elly De La Cruz on a grounder to first.
“He’s as good as I have seen as far as a pitcher performing under pressure,” Bochy said. “He is so good. He’s a pro out there. He wants to be out there.”
Eovaldi retired his first 12 batters, including five straight strikeouts during one stretch. Gavin Lux hit a leadoff single in the fifth for Cincinnati’s first baserunner.
“I think it was the first-pitch strikes,” Eovaldi said, when asked what made him so efficient. “But also, the off-speed pitches. I was able to get some quick outs, and I didn’t really have many deep counts. … And not walking guys helps.”
Spiers gave up three hits in six innings in his season debut. He struck out five and walked two for the Reds, who fell to 2-3.
The Rangers moved to 4-2, and Langford has been at the center of it all. He now has two home runs in six games to begin the season. In 2024, it took him until the 29th game of the season to homer for the first time. Langford hit 16 homers in 134 games last season during his rookie year.
Eli Lederman covers college football and recruiting for ESPN.com. He joined ESPN in 2024 after covering the University of Oklahoma for Sellout Crowd and the Tulsa World.
USC secured the commitment of former Oregon defensive tackle pledge Tomuhini Topui on Tuesday, a source told ESPN, handing the Trojans their latest recruiting victory in the 2026 cycle over the Big Ten rival Ducks.
Topui, ESPN’s No. 3 defensive tackle and No. 72 overall recruit in the 2026 class, spent five and half months committed to Oregon before pulling his pledge from the program on March 27. Topui attended USC’s initial spring camp practice that afternoon, and seven days later the 6-foot-4, 295-pound defender gave the Trojans his pledge to become the sixth ESPN 300 defender in the program’s 2026 class.
Topui’s commitment gives USC its 10th ESPN 300 pledge this cycle — more than any other program nationally — and pulls a fourth top-100 recruit into the impressive defensive class the Trojans are building this spring. Alongside Topui, USC’s defensive class includes in-state cornerbacks R.J. Sermons (No. 26 in ESPN Junior 300) and Brandon Lockhart (No. 77); four-star outside linebacker Xavier Griffin (No. 27) out of Gainesville, Georgia; and two more defensive line pledges between Jaimeon Winfield (No. 143) and Simote Katoanga (No. 174).
The Trojans are working to reestablish their local recruiting presence in the 2026 class under newly hired general manager Chad Bowden. Topui not only gives the Trojans their 11th in-state commit in the cycle, but his pledge represents a potentially important step toward revamping the program’s pipeline to perennial local powerhouse Mater Dei High School, too.
Topui will enter his senior season this fall at Mater Dei, the program that has produced a long line of USC stars including Matt Leinart, Matt Barkley and Amon-Ra St. Brown. However, if Topui ultimately signs with the program later this year, he’ll mark the Trojans’ first Mater Dei signee since the 2022 cycle, when USC pulled three top-300 prospects — Domani Jackson, Raleek Brown and C.J. Williams — from the high school program based in Santa Ana, California.
Topui’s flip to the Trojans also adds another layer to a recruiting rivalry rekindling between USC and Oregon in the 2026 cycle.
Tuesday’s commitment comes less than two months after coach Lincoln Riley and the Trojans flipped four-star Oregon quarterback pledge Jonas Williams, ESPN’s No. 2 dual-threat quarterback in 2026. USC is expected to continue targeting several Ducks commits this spring, including four-star offensive tackle Kodi Greene, another top prospect out of Mater Dei.