Bottom 10: A rocky performance lands Tennessee on the list
Inspirational thought of the week:
Now the race is on
And here comes pride up the backstretch
Heartache’s going to the inside
My tears are holding back
They’re trying not to fall
My heart’s out of the running
True love’s scratched for another’s sake
The race is on, and it looks like heartaches
And the winner loses all
– “The Race is On” by George Jones
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in same room as the computer server that houses all the drafts of Lane Kiffin’s reserve supply of clapback tweets, we are up on the wheel with a lead foot in the throttle like Ross Chastain at Martinsville Speedway. There’s only one lap remaining in the race that is the 2022 college football regular season, and the white flag is out.
For those of you who don’t follow NASCAR, we must explain that the white flag doesn’t mean surrender, it means the end of the race is imminent and the next flag shown will be the checkers. In other words, there’s one week left before we declare a champion. But this also isn’t the Valleydale Meats 500, is it? It’s the Bottom 10. And in this world, everything is a surrender flag, no matter how hard any man — even a 12th man — might try to disguise it as something else.
WHAT IS HAPPENING AT COLLEGE STATION? ? pic.twitter.com/zBM5DiVEKW
— SEC Network (@SECNetwork) November 19, 2022
With apologies to Cornelius Tacitus, E. King Gill, former Tennessee State defensive end Joe “Turkey” Jones and Steve Harvey, here are the post-Week 12, pre-Thanksgiving Bottom 10 rankings.
1. UMess (1-10)
The Minutemen lost their second consecutive Pillow Fight of the Week, following up the heartbreak of their near win at Arkansas State with a solid showing in front of tens of fans at Kyle Field, losing to Texas A&M 20-3 after trailing by only 10 points for most of the second half. This despite at least two of their players spending the entire game unable to hear anything because the Corps of Cadets decided to reenact the Battle of Lexington and Concord during the pregame.
I’m dying…. @billyliucci @TexAgs @Jmackie00 pic.twitter.com/lRklHqcxYo
— Braxton Sherrill (@CoachBSherrill) November 19, 2022
2. Colora-duh (1-10)
Speaking of the American Revolution, Washington was victorious against the Buffaloes, a win iced by a fourth-quarter TD catch that was hauled in, of course, by a receiver named Sam Adams II.
3. Akronmonious (1-9)
Speaking of Buffaloes, Akron was supposed to have played the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills, but apparently Elsa of Arendelle is either a Zips alum or has some money down on the Bottom 10 title race, because someone dumped 77 inches of snow on the city over the weekend and postponed the game indefinitely.
4. US(not C)F (1-10)
Speaking of Bulls and inclement weather, USF lost a 48-42 track meet to the Tulsa Golden Hurricane. It was just a warm-up for this week’s annual Thanksgiving weekend hyperactive rivalry matchup with UC(not S)F, aka the War on I-4. I’m not entirely sure that the Black Friday 2017 edition of this game ever actually ended, just as I am not entirely sure that anyone ever actually gets off I-4 once they get on it.
5. Good Ol’ Rocky Slop (Whew!) (9-2)
After the attack on Pearl Harbor, stunt pilot-turned-Air Force general Jimmy Doolittle trained his legendary Raiders for their bombing attack on Tokyo just outside of Columbia, South Carolina, not far from the Williams-Brice Stadium, home of the South Carolina Gamecocks. The fleet of B-25s would bomb the same piece of earth over and over and over and over again, refuel, and then bomb it again and again and again and again, day after day after day. On Saturday night in Columbia, with USC up 63-38, the ghost of Doolittle was heard saying, “Damn, Cocks, that’s enough.”
6. North by Northworstern (1-10)
Northwestern of now feels like the Northwestern of the 1980s as it rides the nation’s longest losing streak, a slump that has reached nine losses. According to the magically and creepily accurate ESPN FPI computers, there is an 81.7% chance that the Artists Formerly Known as Ill-ugh-noise will extend that streak to 10. If that happens, the Mildcats will be throwing a formidable résumé onto the table of the Bottom 10 Selection Committee next week. And seeing as how that table is actually just an old TV tray we found at a trailer park “estate auction,” there’s going to be quite the moment when it collapses and spills Natty Light all over the lap of committee chairman Charlie Weis.
7. Whew Mexico No-bos (2-9)
The Mountain West’s Bottom 10 incursion brings to mind the words of Lando Calrissian at the Battle of Endor when he asked, “I wonder what those Star Destroyers are waiting for?” Only instead of giant, weapons-laden spaceships, it’s a fleet of recycled Trailways buses. The No-bos have crashed this party via eight straight losses, and a season-ending tenth defeat at the hands of Bottom 10 Waiting Listers Colora-duh State could be what Whew Mexico needs to stage its own version of the Holdo Maneuver.
8. No-vada (2-9)
Meanwhile, the Oof Pack has also dropped nine straight, having already gotten their Colorado State loss out of the way back in Week 5. Now, suddenly, we have a Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of the Century coming that was on no one’s radar just a few scant weeks ago, but now might be the game with the biggest impact on the final Bottom 10 standings. Against who? Or whom? Or whomever? Or whatever my English teacher would tell me to write here but I am too excited to recall correct grammar?
9. unLv (4-7)
These guys! Our old friends from Earth’s largest Roomba are in these rankings for the first time this season. Is it unusual for a four-win team to be here this late in the season? Yep. But that’s what happens when you slide into the end of that season like me when I lived in Connecticut, thinking I could drive my Pontiac Grand Am on ice. The Other Rebels’ losing streak just reached six thanks to a 31-25 loss at season-long Bottom 10 stalwart Huh-why-yuh.
10. Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas (4-7)
Okay, first off, you don’t get out of the Bottom 10 after barely beating the top/bottom team at home, even if you were only in the Coveted Fifth Spot, and especially when you started the fall in the preseason Top 10. Secondly, you totally are docked lack-of-style points when you fire a cannon at a couple of dudes praying in the pregame and also that shirtless towel relay thing. And finally, did I do this just to get a rise out of people in College Station because it’s Thanksgiving and angry SEC fans in my inbox are just as delicious as dressing with gravy and those baked marshmallows scraped off the top of the sweet potato pie and eaten all on their own like candy? You can’t see me right now, but I am responding with a “Gig ’em” thumbs up. And yes, that’s a baked marshmallow on the end of my thumb.
Waiting List: Arkansaw State, Colora-duh State, Huh-why-yuh, Lose-ee-anna Tech, Charlotte 3-and-9ers, Old Duh-minions, Northern Ill-ugh-noise, Stampford, In A Rut-gers, No-braska, Temple of Doom, your drunk uncle taking the turkey leg and eating it in front of your face while talking politics.
The 2025 MLB All-Star Home Run Derby is fast approaching — and the field is set.
Braves hometown hero Ronald Acuna Jr. became the first player to commit to the event, which will be held at Truist Park in Atlanta on July 14 (8 p.m. ET on ESPN). He was followed by MLB home run leader Cal Raleigh of the Seattle Mariners, James Wood of the Washington Nationals, Byron Buxton of the Minnesota Twins, Oneil Cruz of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Junior Caminero of the Tampa Bay Rays, Brent Rooker of the Athletics and Jazz Chisholm Jr. of the New York Yankees.
On Friday, however, Acuna was replaced by teammate Matt Olson.
With all the entrants announced, let’s break down their chances at taking home this year’s Derby prize.
Full All-Star Game coverage: How to watch, schedule, rosters, more
2025 home runs: 17 | Longest: 434 feet
Why he could win: Olson is a late replacement for Acuna as the home team’s representative at this year’s Derby. Apart from being the Braves’ first baseman, however, Olson also was born in Atlanta and grew up a Braves fan, giving him some extra motivation. The left-handed slugger led the majors in home runs in 2023 — his 54 round-trippers that season also set a franchise record — and he remains among the best in the game when it comes to exit velo and hard-hit rate.
Why he might not: The home-field advantage can also be a detriment if a player gets too hyped up in the first round. See Julio Rodriguez in Seattle in 2023, when he had a monster first round, with 41 home runs, but then tired out in the second round.
2025 home runs: 36 | Longest: 440 feet
Why he could win: It’s the season of Cal! The Mariners’ catcher is having one of the greatest slugging first halves in MLB history, as he’s been crushing mistakes all season . His easy raw power might be tailor-made for the Derby — he ranks in the 87th percentile in average exit velocity and delivers the ball, on average, at the optimal home run launch angle of 23 degrees. His calm demeanor might also be perfect for the contest as he won’t get too amped up.
Why he might not: He’s a catcher — and one who has carried a heavy workload, playing in all but one game this season. This contest is as much about stamina as anything, and whether Raleigh can carry his power through three rounds would be a concern. No catcher has ever won the Derby, with only Ivan Rodriguez back in 2005 even reaching the finals.
2025 home runs: 24 | Longest: 451 feet
Why he could win: He’s big, he’s strong, he’s young, he’s awesome, he might or might not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. This is the perfect opportunity for Wood to show his talent on the national stage, and he wouldn’t be the first young player to star in the Derby. He ranks in the 97th percentile in average exit velocity and 99th percentile in hard-hit rate, so he can still muscle the ball out in BP even if he slightly mishits it. His long arms might be viewed as a detriment, but remember the similarly tall Aaron Judge won in 2017.
Why he might not: His natural swing isn’t a pure uppercut — he has a pretty low average launch angle of just 6.2 degrees — so we’ll see how that plays in a rapid-fire session. In real games, his power is primarily to the opposite field, but in a Home Run Derby you can get more cheapies pulling the ball down the line.
2025 home runs: 20 | Longest: 479 feet
Why he could win: Buxton’s raw power remains as impressive as nearly any hitter in the game. He crushed a 479-foot home run earlier this season and has four others of at least 425 feet. Indeed, his “no doubter” percentage — home runs that would be out of all 30 parks based on distance — is 75%, the highest in the majors among players with more than a dozen home runs. His bat speed ranks in the 89th percentile. In other words, two tools that could translate to a BP lightning show.
Why he might not: Buxton is 31 and the Home Run Derby feels a little more like a younger man’s competition. Teoscar Hernandez did win last year at age 31, but before that, the last winner older than 29 was David Ortiz in 2010, and that was under much different rules than are used now.
2025 home runs: 16 | Longest: 463 feet
Why he could win: If you drew up a short list of players everyone wants to see in the Home Run Derby, Cruz would be near the top. He has the hardest-hit ball of the 2025 season, and the hardest ever tracked by Statcast, a 432-foot missile of a home run with an exit velocity of 122.9 mph. He also crushed a 463-foot home run in Anaheim that soared way beyond the trees in center field. With his elite bat speed — 100th percentile — Cruz has the ability to awe the crowd with a potentially all-time performance.
Why he might not: Like all first-time contestants, can he stay within himself and not get too caught up in the moment? He has a long swing, which will result in some huge blasts, but might not be the most efficient for a contest like this one, where the more swings a hitter can get in before the clock expires, the better.
2025 home runs: 23 | Longest: 425 feet
Why he could win: Although Caminero was one of the most hyped prospects entering 2024, everyone kind of forgot about him heading into this season since he didn’t immediately rip apart the majors as a rookie. In his first full season, however, he has showed off his big-time raw power — giving him a chance to become just the third player to reach 40 home runs in his age-21 season. He has perhaps the quickest bat in the majors, ranking in the 100th percentile in bat speed, and his top exit velocity ranks in the top 15. That could translate to a barrage of home runs.
Why he might not: In game action, Caminero does hit the ball on the ground quite often — in fact, he’s on pace to break Jim Rice’s record for double plays grounded into in a season. If he gets out of rhythm, that could lead to a lot of low line drives during the Derby instead of fly balls that clear the fences.
2025 home runs: 19 | Longest: 440 feet
Why he could win: The Athletics slugger has been one of the top power hitters in the majors for three seasons now and is on his way to a third straight 30-homer season. Rooker has plus bat speed and raw power, but his biggest strength is an optimal average launch angle (19 degrees in 2024, 15 degrees this season) that translates to home runs in game action. That natural swing could be picture perfect for the Home Run Derby. He also wasn’t shy about saying he wanted to participate — and maybe that bodes well for his chances.
Why he might not: Rooker might not have quite the same raw power as some of the other competitors, as he has just one home run longer than 425 feet in 2025. But that’s a little nitpicky, as 11 of his home runs have still gone 400-plus feet. He competed in the college home run derby in Omaha while at Mississippi State in 2016 and finished fourth.
2025 home runs: 17 | Longest: 442 feet
Why he could win: Chisholm might not be the most obvious name to participate, given his career high of 24 home runs, but he has belted 17 already in 2025 in his first 61 games after missing some time with an injury. He ranks among the MLB leaders in a couple of home run-related categories, ranking in the 96th percentile in expected slugging percentage and 98th percentile in barrel rate. His raw power might not match that of the other participants, but he’s a dead-pull hitter who has increased his launch angle this season, which might translate well to the Derby, even if he won’t be the guy hitting the longest home runs.
Why he might not: Most of the guys who have won this have been big, powerful sluggers. Chisholm is listed at 5-foot-11, 184 pounds, and you have to go back to Miguel Tejada in 2004 to find the last player under 6 foot to win.
-
Sports3 years ago‘Storybook stuff’: Inside the night Bryce Harper sent the Phillies to the World Series
-
Sports1 year agoStory injured on diving stop, exits Red Sox game
-
Sports2 years agoGame 1 of WS least-watched in recorded history
-
Sports2 years agoMLB Rank 2023: Ranking baseball’s top 100 players
-
Sports4 years ago
Team Europe easily wins 4th straight Laver Cup
-
Sports2 years agoButton battles heat exhaustion in NASCAR debut
-
Environment2 years agoJapan and South Korea have a lot at stake in a free and open South China Sea
-
Environment2 years agoGame-changing Lectric XPedition launched as affordable electric cargo bike