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The number 1 thing about going number 2 is to have a cleanup plan. Unfortunately, toilet paper (TP) may not always be by your side. Be it because you are camping, a country-wide TP shortage, or that things have gone sideways and you didnt store nearly enough. Dont fret and do the penguin waddle to the neighbors to borrow a few squares. Here are 15 TP plant substitutes that nature has provided for us!Why Natural Substitutes

TP is one of the greatest inventions and hygiene improvements. However, we havent always had this pleasure. More importantly, it may not be with us for ever. Even as recently as the Covid-19 pandemic, several rumors plunged us deep into a TP panic. Manufacturers were running overtime. Store shelves were empty. The few stores that had stock, limited purchases to only a few rolls. Even worse, some people went without.

Events dont need to be as dramatic. It only takes a walk in the woods when nature calls to show the need for a little foraging knowledge. Finding the right plant may mean the difference between a comfortable and very uncomfortable walk home.

Finally, as we prepare for harsher times, the focus usually lands on food, firearms, medical supplies, or other sexier topics than TP. The reality is we need it and should have it as a part of our long-term stores. One roll per person per week is the average use. That being said, funds and storage space arent unlimited. Eventually, you will need TP plant substitutes.

Read ahead for 15 of the best that you can start identifying around your home now.

Garden TP Plant Substitutes

The first, and easiest, TP plant substitutes to source can come from your own garden. It may be easiest for you, from an identification standpoint, to grow your own. Not surprisingly, there are several TP plant substitutes you can plan as a part of your annual harvest.

Cabbage (Brassica oleracea)

Who knew you could use cabbage outside of the kitchen? Cabbage makes one of the best homegrown TP plant substitutes as it has large sturdy leaves. In fact, many of the leaves get harvested as waste material as you trim to expose the inner head. Use these leaves as TP if you reserve them. To aid in their longevity, dry them. Just not too much or they will get brittle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabbage

Cauliflower (Brassica oleracea)

Cauliflower is very similar to cabbage. In fact, they are different cultivars of the same species. The leaves may not be as numerous or large, but they are still just as viable for TP use.

As cauliflower grows, the inner leaves are usually pinned over the head to keep it white. The outer leaves are trimmed off while the plant grows. This guarantees a ready supply of TP plant substitutes!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cauliflower

Lambs Ears (Stachys byzantina)

I know that Lambs ears are normally considered a wild plant, but there is no reason not to include them in your garden or with your ornamental plantings. From food to medicine, to bathroom needs, there are many reasons to move Lambs Ears from the wilds to the garden.

Lambs Ears grow easily and spread, providing an abundance of leaves. The softness of the leaves is unparalleled (hence, the name) and the leaves are naturally antibiotic. What more could you ask?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stachys_byzantina

Grape Leaves (Vinis vitifera)

Grapes arent just for wine. Use these leaves for both cooking and to support your hygiene. Each leave is about the size of a normal TP square and is hardy enough to stand up to the job.

Start a trellis near your outhouse and within a year or two youll have enough natural TP to meet your familys needs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitis_vinifera

Foraged TP Plant Substitutes

Never limit TP plant substitutes to cultivated spaces around your house. Nature abounds with tools to manage all our needs. You just need to arm yourself with the proper knowledge.

Remember, always make sure you have 100% positively identified your plant. You dont want a poison ivy leaf to slip in. When using a newly identified plant, rub a small piece on your forearm or wrist, then wait 15 minutes to ensure that you dont have a negative reaction to the new plant.

Borage (Borago officinalis)

Borage is a wildflower that is distributed throughout Europe, the United Kingdom, and rarely in the United States. While Europeans primarily use Borage as a food (leaves and extracted seed oils) the youngest leaves can also be used as TP plant substitutes.

While small, the young leaves are soft and sturdy. The older leaves develop harsh hairs that make use less pleasant.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borage

Blue Spur Flower (Plectranthus ciliatus)

Tall, fragrant, and beautifully flowered, Blue Spur Flower, has been used for generations for bathroom duty. The leaves are exceptionally soft and large, which makes it an efficient flower to plant for TP use. A natural spreader, it will often take over any area that it is planted. You can often find it growing wild in hot climates.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plectranthus_ciliatus

Corn Lily (Clintonia borealis)

Corn Lily is a low growing plant with petite yellow flowers and blue berries. The leaves, while being editable, are long and broad and perfectly suited for bottom cleanup detail. The smooth leaves may not be as comfortable as some of the others on this list, but they are stout enough to hold up to the biggest jobs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clintonia_borealis

Large Leaf Aster (Eurybia macrophylla)

Another plant filling multiple rolls, including as a TP plant substitute, is Large Leaf Aster. The leaves can be eaten, used medicinally, and their size, texture, and durability make them perfect to use in the bathroom. The leaf shape and daisy-like flower make them unmistakable and easy to identify.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurybia_macrophylla

Mullein (Verbascum)

Ranked near the top for backend hygiene is Mullen. Second only to Lambs Ears, the large soft leaves, as well as the spike-like shape of the plant and brilliant yellow flowers, make Mullen easy to find and easy to use.

Usually found in transition spaces between fields and trees, as well as rougher soils, Mullens height and flowers make it stick out like a beacon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verbascum

Common Mallow (Malva neglecta)

Common Mallow is at home in the woods just as much as it is at home in a flower garden. It, or one of its many variants, can be found throughout the world. The irregular shaped leaves may require a little creativity, however they are soft and will get the job done.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malva_neglecta

Old Mans Beard (Tillandsia usneoides)

Old Mans Beard is unlike any other plant on the list. Also called Spanish Moss, it can be found hanging from trees often in great numbers in warmer climates. Ignoring the appearance, it can be soft, however you need to gather a fair amount to make sure you have sufficient density (therefore avoiding any accidents).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_moss

H2: Plantain (Plantago major)

Is there anything Plantain cant do? Its a food. Its a medicine. And now it provides bathroom coverage. Left to grow, the leaves can become sizeable. As an added bonus, the leaves, when used as a poultice, heal the skin with remarkable speed. Just in case you have a rash in this sensitive area.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plantago_major

Pink Wild Pear (Dombeya burgessiae)

Pink Wild Pear is also known as the Tropical Hydrangea. Cultivated outside of its native Africa, these plants can reach over 15 feet in height. The leaves are broad and tough, with a softness to them that will be a benefit to the backside.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dombeya

Tamarisk Moss (Thuidium tamariscinum)

Blessed is the backside that has a field of moss. The ultimate lush TP plant substitute, moss is thick, soft, and very capable of cleanup duty. Even better, moss is nearly universal throughout the word.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thuidiaceae

Thimbleberry (Rubus parviflorus)

Thimbleberry is found abundantly in the wooded areas of the United States and other countries. They can grow in large colonies that provide copious amounts of leaves. When fully mature, the leaves are large and surprisingly soft. You can identify these plants by their fruit which resembles raspberries.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubus_parviflorus

Yellow Dock (Rumex crispus)

Yellow Dock, Curley Dock, and the other members of this family are a blessing to any forager. Like many on this list, they are edible, medicinal, and aid in the bathroom. While the young tender leaves are best for a salad, wait until they mature and toughen up to use them in the bathroom.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumex_crispus

Cautions

Before you go running off into the woods, eager to try out your newfound knowledge of finding your own TP plant substitutes, you need to be armed with a few precautions.

First, as with all plant and wild foraging practices, always be 100% positive of your identification before using any wild foraged plant. Its best to seek expert guidance on learning plant identification. If this is not possible, then I highly recommend purchasing several field guides. Peterson has a complete library of plant identification, guides. Ive listed the medicinal guide here. However, there are edible plant guides, as well as other generic guides. Pick one that best covers this topic and others that you may look at.

Flacon Press is another provider of nature-based books. Again, find one that covers your interest areas.

Honestly, you cant have enough plant identification books. Each one caters to a different audience, and its style, while the content may be excellent, may not mix with you. Likewise, each will have its own pictures and drawings. You may pick up a critical identification feature in one that you missed in another.

While you wont be eating any of these plants (at least in this application), adverse reactions to TP plant substitutes are still possible. Rashes, blisters, and a host of nasties can happen if you use the wrong plant. Down There is one of those places that you dont need an itch, let alone blisters, be it from the wrong plant or from an allergic reaction.

Other Options

In the western world, we attache ourselves to the paperwork approach to cleanup. However, much of the world relies on water to do the job. In the wilderness, if you have access to a clean source of water, then you can cup and splash to get the job done. Just make sure you have a cloth to dry off afterwards. It takes a little practice, but once you get the hang of it, its very effective. During winter, a fist full of snow is even more effective.

Wrapping Up TP Plant Substitutes

Bears do it and someday you might too. Out. In the wood. You have that urge. Theres no need to fret if you find yourself unprepared. With a little knowledge, a field guide or two, and a positive plant identification, you are all set to answer natures call.

From scrap leaves in your garden to common weeds, nature abounds with options to feed us, heal us, and to clean up the less savory aspects of our daily lives. Look up these plants and find a few that grow in your area. Then take 2 or 3 and really study up. Get to know where they grow around you and what they look like through the seasons. Then take the ultimate step and enjoy the freedom of going outdoors!

Bonus: Root Cellar That Can Be Used as a Bunker

Do you remember the old root cellars our great-grandparents used to have? In fact, they probably built it themselves, right in their back yard.

If you want to learn how to build a backyard bunker like your grandparents had, without breaking the bank, then you need Easy Cellar.

Easy Cellar will show you:How to choose the ideal siteCost-effective building methodsHow to protect your bunker from nuclear blast and falloutHow to conceal your bunkerAffordable basic life support options

Easy Cellar will also reveal how a veteran, with only $421, built a small nuclear bunker in his backyard.Also included:America's Natural Nuclear Bunkers: Find the Closest One to Your Home56 Items to Stockpile in Your Easy Cellar
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BlockFi bankruptcy administrator and DOJ agree to dismiss $35M lawsuit

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BlockFi bankruptcy administrator and DOJ agree to dismiss M lawsuit

BlockFi bankruptcy administrator and DOJ agree to dismiss M lawsuit

BlockFi’s bankruptcy administrator and the DOJ have settled a $35 million crypto asset transfer lawsuit.

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Hard-throwing rookie Misiorowski going to ASG

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Hard-throwing rookie Misiorowski going to ASG

Hard-throwing rookie Jacob Misiorowski is a National League All-Star replacement, giving the Milwaukee Brewers right-hander a chance to break Paul Skenes‘ record for the fewest big league appearances before playing in the Midsummer Classic.

Misiorowski was named Friday night to replace Chicago Cubs lefty Matthew Boyd, who will be unavailable for the All-Star Game on Tuesday night in Atlanta because he is scheduled to start Saturday at the New York Yankees.

The 23-year-old Misiorowski has made just five starts for the Brewers, going 4-1 with a 2.81 ERA while averaging 99.3 mph on his fastball, with 89 pitches that have reached 100 mph.

If he pitches at Truist Park, Misiorowski will make it consecutive years for a player to set the mark for fewest big league games before an All-Star showing.

Skenes, the Pittsburgh Pirates right-hander getting ready for his second All-Star appearance, had made 11 starts in the majors when he was chosen as the NL starter for last year’s All-Star Game at Texas. He pitched a scoreless inning.

“I’m speechless,” said a teary-eyed Misiorowski, who said he was given the news a few minutes before the Brewers’ 8-3 victory over Washington. “It’s awesome. It’s very unexpected and it’s an honor.”

Misiorowski is the 30th first-time All-Star and 16th replacement this year. There are now 80 total All-Stars.

“He’s impressive. He’s got some of the best stuff in the game right now, even though he’s a young pitcher,” said Yankees slugger Aaron Judge, who is a starting AL outfielder for his seventh All-Star nod. “He’s going to be a special pitcher in this game for a long time so I think he deserved it and it’s going be pretty cool for him and his family.”

Carlos Rodón, Carlos Estévez and Casey Mize were named replacement pitchers on the AL roster.

The New York Yankees‘ Rodón, an All-Star for the third time in five seasons, will replace teammate Max Fried for Tuesday’s game in Atlanta. Fried will be unavailable because he is scheduled to start Saturday against the Chicago Cubs.

In his final start before the All-Star game, Rodón allowed four hits and struck out eight in eight innings in an 11-0 victory over the Cubs.

“This one’s a little special for me,” said Rodón, an All-Star in 2021 and ’22 who was 3-8 in his first season with the Yankees two years ago before rebounding. “I wasn’t good when I first got here, and I just wanted to prove that I wasn’t to going to give up and just put my best foot forward and try to win as many games as I can.”

The Kansas City Royals‘ Estévez replaces Texas’ Jacob deGrom, who is scheduled to start at Houston on Saturday night. Estévez was a 2023 All-Star when he was with the Los Angeles Angels.

Mize takes the spot held by Boston‘s Garrett Crochet, who is scheduled to start Saturday against Tampa Bay. Mize gives the Tigers six All-Stars, most of any team and tied for the franchise record.

Royals third baseman Maikel Garcia will replace Tampa Bay‘s Brandon Lowe, who went on the injured list with left oblique tightness. The additions of Estévez and Garcia give the Royals four All-Stars, matching their 2024 total.

The Seattle Mariners announced center fielder Julio Rodríguez will not participate, and he was replaced by teammate Randy Arozarena. Rodríguez had been voted onto the AL roster via the players’ ballot. The Mariners, who have five All-Stars, said Rodríguez will use the break to “recuperate, rest and prepare for the second half.”

Arozarena is an All-Star for the second time. He started in left field for the AL two years ago, when he was with Tampa Bay. Arozarena was the runner-up to Vladimir Guerrero Jr. in the 2023 Home Run Derby.

Rays right-hander Drew Rasmussen, a first-time All-Star, is replacing Angels left-hander Yusei Kikuchi, who is scheduled to start Saturday night at Arizona. Rasmussen is 7-5 with a 2.82 ERA in 18 starts.

San Diego added a third NL All-Star reliever in lefty Adrián Morejón, who replaces Philadelphia starter Zack Wheeler. The Phillies’ right-hander is scheduled to start at San Diego on Saturday night. Morejón entered the weekend with a 1.71 ERA in 45 appearances.

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M’s Raleigh hits 2 more HRs, brings total to 38

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M's Raleigh hits 2 more HRs, brings total to 38

DETROIT — Cal Raleigh hit his 37th and 38th home runs in Seattle‘s 12-3 victory over Detroit on Friday night to move within one of Barry Bonds’ 2001 major league record for homers before the All-Star break.

Raleigh hit a solo homer off former teammate Tyler Holton in the eighth to tie the American League record of 37 before the All-Star break set by Reggie Jackson in 1969 and matched by Chris Davis in 2013.

“[Holton] and I are really good friends, and I’ve caught a lot of his pitches,” said Raleigh, who was in the lineup as the designated hitter instead of at catcher. “I don’t think that helped much, but I’m sure he’s not very happy with me.”

Raleigh hit a grand slam off Brant Hurter in the ninth.

“I didn’t even know it was a record until just now,” Raleigh said. “I don’t have words for it, I guess. I’m just very grateful and thankful.”

It was Raleigh’s eighth multihomer game this season, tying Jackson (also in 1969) for the most such games before the All-Star break in MLB history, according to ESPN Research. He also tied Ken Griffey Jr. for the most multihomer games in Mariners franchise history.

Seattle has two games left in Detroit before the break.

“Cal Raleigh … this is just unbelievable,” Mariners manager Dan Wilson said. “He’s already set the AL record and now he’s only one short of Barry. There are two games, so who knows?”

Raleigh hit 10 homers in March and April, 12 in May, 11 in June and has five in July.

“This is a very boring comment, but baseball is all about consistency,” Wilson said. “This hasn’t been one hot streak, he’s doing this month after month. That says everything.”

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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