Love ’em, hate ’em or somewhere in between? What players think of MLB’s new rules
Shorter games. More action in the batter’s box and on the bases. Outs becoming hits again. Major League Baseball’s new rules seem to have near universal appeal among fans. But what do the players think?
We asked ESPN MLB reporters Alden Gonzalez, Joon Lee and Jesse Rogers to sit down with a handful of players and managers to find out how the new rules are affecting them. This isn’t a scientific survey — just a chance for a few thoughtful big leaguers to speak in depth about how they feel about the radical changes to their sport.
What’s your favorite thing about the new rules so far?
Ian Happ, Chicago Cubs outfielder: Not having the shift. Being able to have some of those ground balls be hits is huge, rewarding guys for hard-hit balls. And the line drive being back in play. I think I’ve had two hits so far that would have been outs.
Blake Snell, San Diego Padres starting pitcher: None that I can think of.
Mark Canha, New York Mets outfielder: Favorite thing — the games being over in 2½ hours more often than 3½ hours. I do remember last year my garage near my apartment where I was parking my car closed at 12. So it’d be like [with] my wife and my kids, it was a rush to get home just to make it to the garage sometimes.
Matt Moore, Los Angeles Angels relief pitcher: I don’t know that I have a favorite thing, but it is nice feeling like the game has been condensed down to more of a reasonable time frame. As a reliever now I’m heading out [to the bullpen] in the third inning, and you no longer have an hour ’til the end of the third inning. It’s like, ‘Hey, I might have a half hour.’ The pace of the game, and depending on which matchup it is — the other day it was [Tyler Anderson] and [Zack] Greinke, and we were in the fourth inning after like 30 minutes. It was very quick. So that’s one thing that I do like.
Tony Kemp, Oakland Athletics outfielder/infielder: Probably my favorite rule has been the disengagement limits, because I think sometimes it [used to] get to be too much. It can get repetitive, and pitchers fall into a rhythm of like three or four times throwing over, and it prolongs the game.
Elvis Andrus, Chicago White Sox shortstop: The bigger bases. It’s a lot easier for everything: stealing, making double plays. It’s helped the game a lot. I think that’s the only one I like.
Kyle Higashioka, New York Yankees catcher: I like the runner on second [base] in extra [innings] because I don’t want to play 18 innings, and sometimes those games when it’s 0-0 or 1-1, it’s destined to go six more innings. You’re just dreading it. So now at least the thing is both teams get their chance no matter what. I think it just ends the game quicker and it’s actually pretty exciting because it’s high stakes immediately.
Kevin Cash, Tampa Bay Rays manager: Pitch clock. The pace of game. It’s helped baseball. I’ve enjoyed it. I hope the fans have enjoyed it. It’s obviously a faster pace and seemed to have created a little bit more action in the game, which is a good thing.
What’s one thing about the rule changes you think needs improvement?
Happ: I’d give the pitcher one disengagement with no one on and probably make the clock 17 seconds with no one on base.
Canha: Make the pitch clock 20 seconds [with the bases empty] instead of 15 seconds. Give the pitchers and hitters a little bit more time because we can get gassed when there’s a long at-bat. I like to step in and breathe and try to clear my head before I hit, and guys aren’t getting an opportunity to go through their routine. I don’t like it when I’m up there. I think the game moving faster is a good thing, but it feels rushed. It feels like you’re getting winded while the at-bat’s happening because you’re exerting a lot of energy to slow the bat down and catch your breath. It does feel a little bit ridiculous. I think I had a 13-pitch at-bat with Clayton Kershaw the other day in L.A. and it was like, by the end of it, you’re looking at each other. This is f—ing crazy. Me and Kershaw are like, we could kind of feel it through your eyes and vibe. He’s at the end of his outing. The crowd’s getting into it. He’s trying to win his 200th game and the emotions are picking up. That situation, it was so silly. I think if I were to make an amendment to the rule, not that anyone cares or will take my advice, but I would say once you get to 3-2, you should get another timeout.
Moore: I think a pitcher can get a timeout, like the hitter does with two strikes, but we can take it any time. I don’t really love the fact that I can’t call time. Look, I’m not a “it’s not fair” type of guy, but there really should be something for the pitcher. The other day I’m in Boston and I have mud on my cleats, and I can feel this pressure. Like, I’m not comfortable because my spikes are clogged up, and the clock is ticking. The umpire [made an exception for me this time], but it’s not the same. The thing I like about it is the game is quicker; the moments that matter are tied closer together. But I don’t really enjoy — now I’m throwing in a tighter ballgame in the second half of the game. I’d like to have a different feeling than, “I have to get going.” Maybe I want to take a breath. Maybe the moment coming up — this is what the game is going to come down to, that at-bat right here. And I don’t want to feel like I’m rushing a decision, or trying to just get the ball out just because of the clock.
Snell: Stolen bases. It’s a joke. Can’t throw no one out. You have to be 1.2/1.3 [seconds] to the plate. If you pick twice, they’re getting crazy jumps and leads. Stolen bases are a joke. And the bases are closer. The game was made perfectly and they changed the game. I need to be better at pressing buttons. Sometimes you’re thinking about how to attack a hitter, then you need to hit the buttons. I’d like to be able to say I’m pressing the wrong buttons. More time would help.
Kemp: I think the pitch clock needs to have a little bit of feel in terms of, like, later in the game, seventh, eighth, ninth. You’re so locked in on what you gotta do, but also you have to worry about a clock. I don’t know if you saw [33-year-old rookie] Drew Maggi. He got called on a [pitch-clock violation]. It’s like, “Come on.” … I always have to make sure I’m checking where the clock is. That sucks. … I got banged for a violation two games ago, to start an at-bat out in the eighth. Walking up to the plate, getting my bearings and stuff like that and then, “Pitch-clock violation.” I mean — is it good for the speed of the game? Yeah, it’s good. But I think in certain situations you need to make an adjustment.
Andrus: The beginning of every inning I would make it like the beginning of the game, there’s no clock. Then as soon as you step in, you get the clock on. If you’re a catcher or center fielder, you don’t even have time to grab a cup of water. That’s the only tweak that I would do.
Cash: I’d eliminate the limit on throwovers. I think that’s stupid.
Higashioka: The new [pickoffs] rule does kind of hang the catchers out to dry, I think a little bit, because there’s really not much more we can do other than make sure we’re making a good throw, make sure the pitchers are quick to the plate, and we try to use our picks strategically.
Oliver Marmol, St. Louis Cardinals manager: Once in a while, it would be nice, with no runners on, for pitchers to have the ability to [step off]. With the pitch clock, the batter has every opportunity to disengage once per at-bat to gather himself, but a pitcher doesn’t really have a way of doing that without a runner on.
What has been the biggest on-the-field impact of the new rules?
Happ: Stolen bases. I don’t think slug is way up. On-base might be up a tick and batting average might be up, but that’s mostly on singles. The biggest impact is in how much guys are running.
Moore: I think the shift has made a pretty big impact, from what I can see. I haven’t seen any data on it; it’s just anecdotally, my experience shows me that it seems like you have a lot more infielders at spots where there would [typically] be an infielder. So the end range of their positions is matching up with where another position player would typically be with the shift. And so on balls where they almost got there — that’s where they would have the extra guy typically. I can see that. I mean it’s only been a few weeks, but I can see that being a bigger deal.
Kemp: I’d probably say the disengagements [have had the biggest effect] because guys are stealing more. … I think if it was disengagements and same-size bases, it would be the same as it is right now.
Andrus: Timing. The game is so fast. I know for the younger guys, it’s exciting, they like it. But for me, I love the thinking, especially during an at-bat. The last thing you want to be is rushed. This clock rushes you a lot. You have to get used to it and anticipate it.
Cash: When you tell pitchers he’s not allowed to throw over, you’re going to see the immediate effects of baserunners stealing. Fans spoke. That’s what they wanted so they’re seeing it.
What has surprised you most about the rule changes so far?
Happ: I’m probably surprised by how few violations there have been overall. And [not a lot of] meaningful ones, late in games.
Moore: It’s the time of the game. I mean, I heard about it. All last year people were like, “Oh we’re playing 2½-hour games.” But the other day we played in Oakland at 1 o’clock and I’m back at the hotel at 4:30, and that’s like typically when we’re getting done with the game.
Snell: All the stolen bases and how uncomfortable hitters are with the clock. They looked rushed as much as we do. We both feel rushed.
Canha: The amount of stolen bases. It’s insane how much everybody’s just running. Let’s just run every time we can. And it feels like sometimes the pitchers just don’t have a chance. Athletes nowadays are so good in the big leagues, it’s a lot. Most guys can run really well. Before, it felt so much harder. And so the percentages of how much it mattered, stealing bases was kind of, in my opinion, an insignificant part of the game. And now it’s becoming much more significant. Somebody is going to break Rickey Henderson’s stolen base record.
Marmol: I’m not sure if anything has been surprising. I’ve liked the pitch clock, but nothing’s been really surprising. It will be interesting to see how teams begin to adjust — how they use their disengagements and pitchouts and things of that nature. We knew we’d see an uptick [in stolen bases], but I didn’t foresee the success rate being as high as it’s been.
Andrus: During spring training I got called [for] a strike twice for being late, but in the season, there hasn’t been anything crazy.
Tommy Pham, Mets outfielder: I got a violation and they had Jeff Nelson behind home plate. And when I walked up, there was 17 seconds up there and he banged me and I was like, “Jeff, there’s 17 seconds up there.” And he was like, “Oh my buzzer’s off.” What? Yeah. It’s just, I don’t know who’s doing the clock operator, but it’s almost like they’re just letting any person do it.
Higashioka: It’s just surprised me how there’s not as many negative effects that I probably could have imagined. At first I thought, oh, it could get dicey. But I think overall the umpires have shown a decent amount of understanding in terms of shutting the clock off when things happen. And it’s also, we’ve gotten used to it. It hasn’t really taken me out of my normal rhythm behind the plate.
How much has your opinion of the new rules changed after one month of play?
Happ: I was pretty bullish going into it. I think seeing it work through spring made it easier to see how it would work through the regular season.
Moore: I don’t think my opinion has changed because I didn’t come into it upset about having a change. I knew there was going to be something I had to do different — just mind the clock. Other than that it doesn’t really affect me a lot.
Canha: It’s changed. I still like the pitch clock. The fact that the games aren’t as long. I think the bases being close together and how the pitch clock’s affected the base stealing is a little crazy. If anything, the one thing that we really need to keep our eyes on is the operators of the clock. It’s like wildly inconsistent. There was one time when in San Francisco I was on deck and somebody reached base, Jeff McNeil, and then I’m up to bat and they started the clock at 15 seconds and I’m supposed to have 20 seconds. It’s just like this is playing a big role in affecting how some of these at-bats turn out. But, I got into the box and saw that I had 10 seconds left on the clock and I was like, just got up there and I was like, “Oh god.” And then I think Logan Webb was pitching and he got on the mound and he looked at the clock and he has to rush his first pitch and he yanked it out for a ball. I guess it helped me there.
Kemp: A lot of guys are kind of getting used to it, but it’s still taking time. I think the hardest one is when there’s guys on base and a pitcher’s trying to get his bearings [and has to focus on the clock] — that’s not really baseball. Baseball is a thinking game. The game goes long for a reason — because it’s not just go out there and throw throw throw throw throw. It is what it is. You either get with it or get packing, and I like playing in the big leagues.
Andrus: I thought during at-bats it was going to be a really big adjustment for me. It hasn’t. It’s made the game quicker.
Higashioka: A good amount because I was very unsure about the pitch clock at first, and now I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me. I just thought that it could lead to things being rushed in certain aspects of the game. Maybe not as well thought out in terms of you can’t process information fast enough to make a good decision on the next pitch call or something, but overall felt like it’s just still very standard.
What do you hear most when talking to players/teammates about the rule changes?
Snell: I hear them talking or I’ve talked to them about just feeling rushed.
Andrus: Usually pitchers and position players are going to be in different places, but so far I haven’t heard anything negative. You’ll hear one or two comments about it but nothing drastic.
Moore: I think for the most part, what I’ve seen, most major league players have been really professional about it. It’s affecting the at-bats, it’s affecting the rhythm of the game, the approach of guys, and I haven’t seen many big blowups. I feel like it’s been pretty modest. … As a player, it just feels like there’s not a lot of back-and-forth with the league. It feels like, “Hey, this is what we’re doing. You guys aren’t on board with it, but we’re doing it anyway.” Stuff like that. But it’s the way the CBA is written. They have certain unilateral power and we just kind of have to deal with it. There’s part of it that you feel like you’re not being listened to, but we don’t have the hands on the power like they do. Sometimes screaming in the wind isn’t the best thing for our league to do.
Higashioka: I think they just laugh at the violations that occur around the league. Somebody like Albert Abreu punched the guy out on a violation, so we’re all laughing about it. When that happens, it’s kind of ridiculous, but I mean, everybody knows the rules by now.
Canha: There’s still a learning curve and people are getting used to it and it’s uncomfortable. Certainly the first month. I think maybe four months into it, we will probably be done griping about it.
Baseball’s winter meetings are just around the corner, and we’re ready for some blockbuster deals.
We’ve already seen some intriguing trades this offseason with the New York Mets acquiring Marcus Semien from the Texas Rangers for Brandon Nimmo and the Boston Red Sox adding Sonny Gray to their pitching staff — but there are even bigger stars who could move in the weeks ahead.
With that in mind, we asked our MLB insiders to give us their preferred destination for some of the biggest names in our ranking of the top 25 MLB offseason trade candidates.
Where did we send All-Stars Ketel Marte and Byron Buxton? Which Red Sox outfielder is on the move in our deals? And which contenders get starting pitching help? Let’s find out.
The Arizona Diamondbacks should trade Ketel Marte to the …
The Mariners plucked from the D-backs to jolt their offense just five months ago, acquiring corner infielders Eugenio Suarez and Josh Naylor. They should do so again, this time for Marte, the star second baseman who can be had for the right return. The Mariners have a need for another bat, and Marte would represent a massive upgrade over merely re-signing Suarez or Jorge Polanco.
Marte would slide in perfectly ahead of fellow All-Stars Julio Rodriguez and Cal Raleigh, allowing Randy Arozarena to join Naylor in the middle of the lineup and giving Seattle arguably the best offense in the American League — to pair with what is likely the best pitching staff.
Coming off a gut-wrenching loss in Game 7 of the American League Championship Series, it’s the perfect move to push the M’s toward the first World Series berth in franchise history. And whether it’s Cole Young, Michael Arroyo or Felnin Celesten, the Mariners might have enough young, promising middle infielders to satisfy the D-backs’ likely desire for a Marte replacement without parting with Colt Emerson. — Alden Gonzalez
Boston Red Sox for Jarren Duran and Kyson Witherspoon
Roman Anthony‘s 2025 breakout rendered Duran expendable in an outfield already staffed by Ceddanne Rafaela and Wilyer Abreu, both of whom offer more remaining team control. And with presumed second-baseman-of-the-future Kristian Campbell struggling as a rookie (86 OPS+, -1.0 WAR), the door swung open for a move of this magnitude.
Duran’s proclivity for doubles and triples will play beautifully in Arizona (just ask Corbin Carroll), and Witherspoon, the No. 15 pick in the 2025 MLB draft, instantly becomes the club’s best pitching prospect. — Paul Hembekides
The Red Sox should trade Duran to the Philadelphia Phillies for a package including Alec Bohm
These lightning-rod players certainly are not coming off their best seasons and perhaps each needs the proverbial change of scenery. The Red Sox may need someone to play third base, and Bohm, while no match for Alex Bregman, is a capable hitter and defender. The Phillies could then get a more consistent third baseman who enjoys playing in Philadelphia. Duran would fill Philadelphia’s center-field need, and it would create some opportunity in a crowded Boston outfield. See, trades can work out for both teams! — Eric Karabell
The Cleveland Guardians should trade Steven Kwan to the Mariners
I love this idea so much. Kwan would return to the West Coast, about a four-hour drive from Corvallis, where he starred for Oregon State. He would give the Mariners a needed upgrade at a corner outfield spot, teaming with Julio Rodriguez to improve Seattle’s outfield defense. Most importantly, he could slide into the leadoff spot, offering contact and OBP as a poor man’s Ichiro, hitting in front of Cal Raleigh, Rodriguez and his old Cleveland teammate, Josh Naylor. Let’s get this done. — Bradford Doolittle
The Chicago White Sox should trade Luis Robert to the …
Rumor mill whispering has connected the Royals with Boston’s Jarren Duran for the hefty price of Cole Ragans, a swap I can’t abide. The Royals have starting pitching depth, but they don’t have ace depth and Ragans must stay. Duran isn’t an ideal defensive fit for Kauffman Stadium if you view him as a center fielder, and the Royals need to upgrade at that spot badly.
Enter Robert, whose work on strike zone judgment seemed to be paying off in the latter stages of last season. He’s younger than Duran and has more power upside without sacrificing speed and defense. The Royals’ new hitting staff is hyper-focused on improving pitch recognition, and I’d love for them to be new voices in Robert’s ear. The Royals could keep Ragans and modulate their rotation/prospect return based on Chicago’s willingness to pay down some of Robert’s $20 million for next season. Alas, this would be more palatable from a payroll perspective if the Royals had not already committed $8 million to run it back with Jonathan India. — Doolittle
Philadelphia Phillies
It’s time. Time for Robert to find a new home and time for the Phillies to mix up the vibe a little. It’s possible that last season proved to be Robert’s current floor — good defense and 33 stolen bases will help teams win games. But it’s also just as possible the ceiling is still within reach after years of underachieving. First off, getting away from the Sox did wonders for Gavin Sheets and Andrew Vaughn. The same could be true of Robert if he moves on, especially since he’s finally cutting his chase rate down.
Now put him in a good lineup with even better pitches to see — and perhaps a little more pressure to perform — and the Philles could just get the best version of him. He has hit 28 homers in a season. He hit .338 in another (partial year). Put it all together and he might turn into a steal. — Jesse Rogers
The Minnesota Twins should trade …
Byron Buxton to the Los Angeles Dodgers
This falls into the “Why? Because they can, that’s why” category. Enough is never enough for the Dodgers, so this offseason’s installment of making sure they have too much is the acquisition of the best available player at the position they may actually believe they need to upgrade. Move Andy Pages to left, slot Buxton into the top half of the lineup and go for three in a row. — Tim Keown
Joe Ryan and Ryan Jeffers to the New York Yankees
Ryan was a popular name at the trade deadline, and he’s popular again coming off an All-Star season with a rebuilding team and two years of team control remaining. The Yankees don’t need another front-line starter, but Ryan would give them some rotation stability early in the season with Gerrit Cole and Carlos Rodon (and Clarke Schmidt) on the injured list, and he would supply insurance should Cole or Rodón return later than usual or struggle upon return. And as these front offices like to say: You can never have enough starting pitching.
Jeffers would quench the Yankees’ need for a right-handed-hitting catcher after carrying three left-handed-hitting catchers for most of the 2025 season. He would platoon with Austin Wells and allow the Yankees to move Ben Rice, also a left-handed hitter, to first base full time. — Jorge Castillo
The Miami Marlins should trade Edward Cabrera to the New York Yankees for Jasson Dominguez If the Yankees are truly focused on keeping their payroll in check, they’ll need to be creative in how they address their roster shortcomings. Presuming that the team re-signs Cody Bellinger, the Yankees will already have spent a majority of their available free agent budget, and have rendered Dominguez excess with top prospect Spencer Jones also an in-season debut candidate. Dominguez is the kind of high-ceiling youngster the Marlins should be targeting.
Cabrera is a talented, albeit injury-prone, starter who can provide critical rotation depth while the team waits for the healthy returns of Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rodon and Clarke Schmidt. Dominguez’s two additional years of team control might make this a slight overpay for the Yankees, but Cabrera’s projected $3.7 million salary via arbitration could make him an ideal, budget-conscious acquisition. — Tristan Cockcroft
The Miami Marlins should trade Sandy Alcantara to the Athletics
Alcantara’s return from Tommy John surgery was a disaster in the first half of the season, as he entered the All-Star break with an ERA over 7.00. That made him untradeable; it made no sense for the Marlins to deal him at the trade deadline with his value at a low point. Alcantara found his groove over his final 12 starts, however, posting a 3.13 ERA with 69 strikeouts versus 18 walks over 77 innings. That is a pitcher you can trade.
The A’s finished 26th in rotation ERA in 2025. The rotation did struggle at home with a 5.52 ERA in Sacramento, so that led to inflated ERAs, but their only two returning starters with more than 100 innings are Jeffrey Springs (4.11 ERA) and Luis Severino (4.54 ERA). It will be difficult for the A’s to lure a decent free agent starter to Sacramento — they had to overpay to sign Severino — so a trade makes sense. Alcantara is signed to a reasonable $17.3 million for 2026 with a $21 million club option for 2027, which even the A’s can afford.
With the Nick Kurtz-led offense, the A’s will score runs. If they can build out the rotation and bullpen, they have the look of 2026’s sleeper playoff team. Their farm system is improved and they have low-salaried pitching depth with guys like Mason Barnett and Jack Perkins to throw back Miami’s way. — David Schoenfield
The Washington Nationals should trade MacKenzie Gore to the Baltimore Orioles
Gore hasn’t quite made the jump to front-line starter. But he has some qualities in common with higher slot lefties who are front-line types, like Blake Snell and Max Fried, so there could be another gear to be teased out. He also comes with two years of control and his arbitration number this year should land around $5 million.
In return, the Orioles can send a prospect package featuring OFs Slater de Brun and Austin Overn and RHPs Esteban Mejia and J.T. Quinn to the Nationals. Baltimore doesn’t have to include C Samuel Basallo and can probably hang onto OF Dylan Beavers, as well. I have the Nats opting for a larger package of players that includes what I think will be the sorts of prospects we’ll see new president of baseball operations Paul Toboni target. It helps new execs coming from the draft side of evaluation to target recent draftees, with de Brun and Quinn from the 2025 draft and Overn from the 2024 draft. — Kiley McDaniel
The Pittsburgh Pirates should trade Mitch Keller to the San Francisco Giants
The Giants churned through 15 starting pitchers in 2025 and return only three who made more than 10 starts (Logan Webb, Robbie Ray and Landen Roupp), leaving two slots to fill aside from the depth that is required in this era. Hayden Birdsong and Carson Whisenhunt are the top internal candidates, but adding a veteran starter for stability looks like an offseason necessity.
Keller is signed for three more years at an AAV of about $18.5 million. His biggest strength has been durability and consistency, making at least 29 starts four seasons in a row and averaging 183 innings and 2.1 WAR the past three seasons. His strikeout rate has declined from 25.5% to 20.0% since 2023, so that’s a minor cause for concern, but moving to the Giants, with better defense behind him and a stellar catcher in Patrick Bailey should help lower his batting average allowed.
Do the Pirates have enough rotation depth to trade Keller? Probably not, but they do have Paul Skenes, Mike Burrows, Braxton Ashcraft, Johan Oviedo and Bubba Chandler, plus Jared Jones returning from injury, so there at least is the makings of an exciting young rotation even without Keller. They need power, however, so the ask from the Giants would be their top prospect, first baseman Bryce Eldridge.
Too steep for the Giants? Perhaps. Eldridge has 35-homer potential and has produced while being very young for his levels, reaching Triple-A in 2025 at just 20 years old. He does have some holes in his game, with a 3-to-1 strikeout-to-walk ratio, he struggled against breaking balls from left-handers, he has below-average speed and his defense at first base is fringy, so he might be a DH with Rafael Devers playing first. The power is real — enough for the Pirates to gamble on and also real enough that he’ll be difficult to pry away from the Giants. — Schoenfield
Inspirational thought of the week:
Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That’s an easy thing to say
But if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend that you can build them again
Look around
The grass is high
The fields are ripe
It’s the springtime of my life
Seasons change with the scenery
Weavin’ time in a tapestry
Won’t you stop and remember me?
Look around
Leaves are brown
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter
— “Hazy Shade of Winter” by Simon & Garfunkel (or The Bangles, depending on how old you are)
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the bank of telephones used to raise money for the “Free Marty Smith From Oxford” fund, we once again look at the calendar and realize that it is conference championship weekend, which means it’s time for the Bottom 10 to make like Lane Kiffin and run for the exit amid a shower of boos and middle fingers.
The #Bottom10 Selection Committee is currently in session to determine the final 2025 rankings, to be revealed Wednesday morning. pic.twitter.com/WdIvj25gNW
— Ryan McGee (@ESPNMcGee) December 2, 2025
Due to an unprecedented coaching carousel that was so bonkers we’ve renamed it the Coaching Tilt-A-Whirl, the candidates list for this year’s Bottom 10 Selection Committee grew faster than Brian Kelly’s lawyers’ billable hours invoice. The final roster: me, my dad, Captain Morgan (aka my stepdad), Mike Gundy, current Northwest Oklahoma defensive coordinator Jerry Glanville and former Texas State Armadillos head coach Ed “Straight Arrow” Gennero. As our vote began, we were joined by Sam Pittman, who pulled up to our meeting spot, a truck stop behind the Gaylord Texan where the fancy-schmancy CFP committee was gathered, behind the wheel of a shoebox Winnebago blasting Skynyrd and towing a pontoon boat upon which the name “S.S. YESSIR” was airbrushed.
Once again, we leaned on our Bottom 10 FPI formula. No, not the ESPN Football Power Index, but rather the Faux Pas Index. Because everyone loves math.
Teams receive one point for each win, minus one point for each loss, minus one point for each loss of their longest losing streak of the year, plus a minus-10 bonus if that longest losing streak is currently active. We also subtract the number of points they have surrendered on the season from the number of points they scored, subtract or add points based on their season turnover margin and subtract their weakness of schedule (WoS) ranking. If a team fired its head coach, that earns a 50-point subtraction, aka the Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus.
Divide all of that by the number of games played, and there’s your Bottom 10 FPI score. Because it’s hard numbers, the results are indisputable. And by hard numbers we mean that we made the formula so badly complicated that it’s too hard to dispute because it’s not worth wasting the effort to do so.
With apologies to Tennessee wide receiver Deon Hardin, Mizzou running back Ahmad Hardy, Rice running back D’Andre Hardeman Jr. and Steve Harvey, here’s the final 2025 Bottom 10 rankings.
Wins: +0
Losses: -12
Longest losing streak: -12 (current -10)
Point differential: -330 (133 for, 463 against)
Turnover margin: -7
WoS: -91
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -450
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -37.5
The Minuetmen had their wet hay in the barn a full week early, having played their final game of the season on the Tuesday afternoon prior to Thanksgiving. Once they got that hay into the barn, they remembered that the Salem witch trials took place in Massachusetts and they immediately burned that barn down in an effort to exorcise their Bottom 10 demons.
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -8
Point differential: -241 (213 for, 454 against)
Turnover margin: +2
WoS: -104
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -359
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -29.9
The Bearkats kompiled a two-win kampaign, but still katapulted kompletely over kontenders who had only one win. How did they akkomplish that? Bekause of a krappy strength of skedule and a defense too frekwently skored upon.
Wins: +1
Losses: -11
Longest losing streak: -11 (current -10)
Point differential: -230 (170 for, 400 against)
Turnover margin: -5
WoS: -30
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -346
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -28.8
Many people in the greater Stillwater area had told me that I didn’t have the Kowboys, er, sorry, Cowboys ranked low enough. When we did the FPI math, it backed up those complainers with the same amount of force that it backed down their team.
Wins: +1
Losses: -11
Longest losing streak: -9 (current -10)
Point differential: -217 (237 for, 454 against)
Turnover margin: -11
WoS: -66
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -323
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -26.9
Just as the arithmetic hurt OSU, it helped GSU, which jumped/fell from No. 2 to No. 4. That might not seem like much, but for a team that last won a game more than 80 days ago, you’ll take whatever good news you can get.
5. The Lane Train
Marty said if I didn’t have Kiffin in the Coveted Fifth Spot again this week he would beat me over the head with the turkey leg he wasn’t able to eat with his family on Thanksgiving because he had to go to Oxford and hold a microphone instead.
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -6 (current -10)
Point differential: -148 (222 for, 370 against)
Turnover margin: -4
WoS: -90
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -316
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -26.3
Easily, the most vocal “How can we not be ranked?!” #Bottom10Lobbying crowd of 2025 was Rams Nation. And when we did the math, they were proved right as Colorado State leapt like a ram from a rock formation off the Waiting List into the canyon of nearly the top/bottom five. Now they have hired professional Bottom 10 rehabilitation specialist Jim Mora, who totally ruined what used to be the Bottom 10’s version of Chiefs vs. Eagles, UMess vs. U-Can’t, by inexplicably turning the Huskies into winners.
Wins: +1
Losses: -11
Longest losing streak: -9 (current -10)
Point differential: -264 (172 for, 436 against)
Turnover margin: -8
WoS: -70
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -271
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -22.5833333
Niners officials reached out to the Bottom 10 committee to see if perhaps they might receive bonus cool points for the fact that their record was 1-9 when Georgia paid them $1.9 million to play “between the hedges.” We told them no, but only after reaching out to UNCC math professors, who assured us that the laws of natural numerical law would not allow us to add something called “cool points” to something called a “Faux Pas Index.” Speaking of math, Charlotte also is now part of a Bottom 10 FPI first, a numerical tie! With whom … ?
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -7
Point differential: -135 (218 for, 353 against)
Turnover margin: -11
WoS: -60
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -271
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -22.5833333
It should be no surprise that the Beavers would be in some weird spot here after spending their entire season stuck in a bizarro Bottom 10 vortex. They won the tiebreaker with Charlotte via one common opponent, Appalachian State. The Niners lost at home to the Mountaineers 34-11, while the Beavs lost in Boone by only four points. One of only a pair of members of the 2Pac conference, Oregon State had already beaten its only league colleague, Warshington State, in Week 10, but then immediately lost to Sam Houston. Then all the Beavers had to do was beat Wazzu again to depart these rankings for good, but they lost 32-8. Now they will do like all beavers and spend the winter not hibernating, but packed into a mud lodge with other beavers, shivering and seeing who has to swim out under the ice to get food. In related news, that’s also how we on the Bottom 10 Selection Committee spent this week. We sent Mike Gundy out to get the food because his haircut totally looks like a beaver.
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -5 (current -10)
Point differential: -85 (280 for, 365 against)
Turnover margin: -12
WoS: -109
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -229
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -19.1
Representatives of the Minors crashed our committee meeting to remind us that while they understood they would likely have to be ranked, no matter what the math said, they had to be ranked above/below Sam Houston because they beat the Bearkats head-to-head. But we didn’t hear any of that because when we say they crashed our meeting, they literally crashed our meeting. Paydirt Pete had to use his pickax to pry the UTEP conversion van free from where it ran into the trailer carrying Pittman’s pontoon boat.
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -10
Point differential: -88 (305 for, 393 against)
Turnover margin: -9
WoS: -54
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -169
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -14.08
The Golden Beagles were in a Bottom 10 peloton to the finish line, which was more like that scene at Oklahoma a few weeks ago when the Sooners got lost in the smoke of their stadium entrance and fell over each other, piling up like firewood for winter. In the end, Arkansaw and Pur-don’t received too big of a Power 4 WoS boost, while Muddled Tennessee and No-vada both had the audacity to win two out of their final three games, hitting the Raise Hell Praise Dale 3-victory mark and moving out of the running. We started to do the FPI math on a few other teams, but when the batteries ran out in our Texas Instruments calculator, Coach Pittman, relieved his former Hogs missed the final cut, announced, “I’ll go to the store, but it won’t be to buy batteries. It’ll be to buy beer.” Meeting adjourned.
Waiting List: Arkansaw Fightin’ Former Petrinos, No-vada, San No-sé State, Pur-don’t, Muddled Tennessee State, Northern Ill-ugh-noise, ULM (pronounced “Uhlm”), conference tiebreakers that require slide rules.
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