Things didn’t add up for Ohio State and the rest of the Bottom 10
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Ryan McGee, ESPN Senior Writer
Inspirational thought of the week:
On my wall lies a photograph of you
Though I try to forget you somehow
You’re the mirror of my soul, so take me out of my hole
Let me try to go on living right now
Don’t forget to remember me
And the love that used to be
I still remember you
In my heart lies a memory to tell the stars above
Don’t forget to remember me, my love
— “Don’t Forget to Remember,” Bee Gees
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in a corner of the way-too-crowded Auburn University counseling office waiting room, we are in that facility not because our team just lost the Iron Bowl with a 99.9% chance of victory with 43 seconds remaining, but because the clock has ticked away on the end of another college football regular season.
Once again, we assembled our Bottom 10 Selection Committee to help sort out the final rankings. This year’s gathering was another star-studded affair. We had our usual list of longtime panelists, including me, Captain Morgan and former head coaches Ed Orgeron, Jerry Glanville, Bob Stoops and Ed “Straight Arrow” Gennero.
However, we lost some members with Charlie Weis hanging out with his son at Ole Miss and Dan Mullen taking a TV job. So we replaced them with Mike Riley and Bo Pelini. We also invited Jimbo Fisher, but the only response we received was a selfie of him posing with a 10-point buck while standing atop a pile of money like he was Richie Rich.
As per usual, we met not at the posh Gaylord Texan, where the hoity-toity College Football Playoff people hang out, but in an RV that we drove into the resort parking lot, so we could tailgate and catcall the CFP snobs as we deep-fried chicken thighs and watched Orgeron do shirtless pushups.
The problem was we partied a little too hard. Glanville started doing donuts in the RV, Coach O got into a fight with a Gaylord security guard and the rest of us fled the scene, nearly running over Heather Dinich as she did “SportsCenter” live shots from the CFP meetings. In other words, our exit looked like Oklahoma trying to make its final Big 12 entrance last weekend.
Illegal block below the waist! pic.twitter.com/LtDlrKXQ1z
— Devin Staton (@DevinStaton) November 24, 2023
With our committee now more scattered than a midweek #MACtion home crowd, we once again leaned on our Bottom 10 FPI formula. No, not the ESPN Football Power Index, but rather the Faux Pas Index.
It’s simple really. And by simple, we mean totally convoluted. Teams receive one point for each win, minus one point for each loss, minus one point for each loss of their longest losing streak of the year, plus a minus-10 bonus if that streak is active. We also subtract the number of points they surrendered from the number of points they scored, subtract or add points based on turnover margin, subtract their Weakness of Schedule (WoS) ranking and throw in a 50-point reduction if they have fired their head coach this season, aka the Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus. Divide that by the number of games played, and there’s your Bottom 10 FPI score.
So, with apologies to Pythagoras, Terry Tao, John Nash, former LSU running back Ken Addy and Steve Harvey, here’s the math-powered final Bottom 10 standings for 2023.
1. State of Kent (1-11)
Wins: +1
Losses: -11
Longest losing streak: -9 (current -10)
116 points for, 268 points against: -152
Turnover margin: -3
WoS: -119
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -303
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -25.25
Nick Saban’s alma mater finishes the season as the nation’s only 11-loss team. Saban has also lost 11 times … since 2014.
2. ULM (pronounced “UHLM”) (2-10)
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -10 (current -10)
161 points for, 310 points against: -149
Turnover margin: +1
WoS: -74
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -300
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -25
Ulm, the Warhawks nearly, ulm, pulled off the ulmpset of Kent by, ulm, ending the season on an, ulm, 10-game losing streak and then, ulm, firing Terry Bowden to grab that 50-point FPI bonus. Instead, they’ve lost this competition too and will, ulm, have to settle for finishing last in the Sulmbelt.
3. UMess (3-9)
Wins: +3
Losses: -9
Longest losing streak: -7
278 points for, 454 points against: -176
Turnover margin: -1
WoS: -82
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -272
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -22.7
The Minuetmen spent most of this season wandering in the woods around these rankings before making like the militia at Lexington and Concord and suddenly popping up out of nowhere to crash the party. The final charge fired from their muskets was last weekend’s loss in the New England Wicked Smaht Pillow Fight of Da Freaking Week against their hated neighbors from UCan’t. And by final charge fired from their muskets, we mean misfired, blowing their tricorn hats off in a cloud of black smoke like that renown American patriot Elmer Fudd.
4. Temple of Doom (3-9)
Wins: +3
Losses: -9
Longest losing streak: -5
174 points for, 321 points against: -147
Turnover margin: -20
WoS: -87
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -265
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -22.1
Speaking of Bottom 10 party crashers, the Bowels won only once over their past nine games to freefall into this room like Tom Cruise in “Mission Impossible” but if someone had replaced his ropes and cables with silly string. Speaking of dropping stuff, Temple led the nation in turnover margin at -20, three more than any other team in the land. In related news, my cousin Earl, who is a member of the Shrine Club Temple of Eastern North Carolina, led the nation in turnovers consumed at our Thanksgiving dessert table.
5. O-Hi-No (11-1)
Ryan Day is now 56-7 at Ohio State but 1-3 against Michigan. On the flip side, Jim Harbaugh was 0-5 against Ohio State, but has won the past three. But if Harbaugh was actually stealing signs in the first two wins and not in the building for the third, does that mean he is actually 0-5? And that Day is actually 1-0? And if those games are taken off the board by the NCAA, then did they ever actually happen? Were those people ever actually there? If Michigan goes on to win it all, does the final four-team CFP actually matter? And have I actually already watched “Love, Actually” too much, even though Christmas is actually a month away and thus I can’t stop using the word actually?
6. Akronmonious (2-10)
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -6
120 points for, 227 points against: -107
Turnover margin: -9
WoS: -126
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -256
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -21.3
Temple fans might be outraged here because Akron lost head-to-head to the Owls 24-21 back in Week 1 and so, in theory, should be ranked behind the Zips instead of ahead of them. Our response to that would be: 1. The Bottom 10 FPI math is what it is. 2. If you are outraged over the Bottom 10 rankings, then you need to seek help, like perhaps from a coach who can teach you how to hang on to the football. And 3. Hey, Kevin Negandhi, we know that user @GoOwlsMcGeeSux on social media is actually you. You used your “SportsCenter” headshot as your avatar.
7. Van-duh-bilt Commode Doors (2-10)
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -10 (current -10)
135 points for, 317 points against: -182
Turnover margin: -3
WoS: -19
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -232
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -19.3
The only team in these rankings to crack the top 70 in Weakness of Schedule also played its entire season in half of a football stadium. So, in its defense, it is difficult enough to navigate one’s ship through the SEC, but it is clearly impossible to do so when there is nowhere to get dressed or go to the potty.
8. UTEPid (3-9)
Wins: +3
Losses: -9
Longest losing streak: -4
166 points for, 214 points against: -48
Turnover margin: -6
WoS: -105
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -219
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -18.25
Our old friends from the stadium atop the mountain with a view of Ciudad Juarez hadn’t been in these standings all season. But the Minors made a major late push, thanks to a loss to then-top/bottom ranked Sam Houston We Have A Problem and then the firing of coach Dana Dimel, who led UTEP to the 2018 Bottom 10 title, then four years later led them into a bowl. This year he led them into a hole.
9. No-vada (2-10)
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -6
140 points for, 236 points against: -96
Turnover margin: -4
WoS: -94
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -208
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -17.3
The Woof Pack won two games all season, back-to-back victories over San Diego Stank and New Mexico Not New Mexico State. In the weeks since, Aztecs head coach Brady Hoke announced his retirement and New Mexico fired Danny Gonzalez. Heads up, Brady and Danny, it’s certainly not the first time that a Reno establishment has altered the handling of someone’s retirement fund.
10. EC-Yew (2-10)
Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -5
120 points for, 165 points against: -45
Turnover margin: -5
WoS: -72
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: n/a
Total: -135
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -11.25
The Pie Rats posted a surprisingly low Bottom 10 FPI number. That’s fitting. Because their offense has been posting surprisingly low numbers all season long.
Waiting list: Charlotte 3-and-9ers, the Pitt and the Pendulum, Bailer, Sin-suh-natty, Indiana Who’s Yours?, Sam Houston We Have a Problem, Fa-La-La-La-La Tech, UCan’t, Stanfird, Rod Tidwell’s Alma Mater, Southern Missed, the end of another regular season … boo.
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Bradford Doolittle
ORLANDO, Fla. — There were a number of ironies surrounding the results of the contemporary baseball era committee’s Hall of Fame ballot, announced Sunday night at MLB’s winter meetings.
Perhaps the most poignant is this: If not for Barry Bonds, Jeff Kent — the only one of the eight players under consideration selected Sunday — might not be bound for Cooperstown. While Kent is the all-time home run hitter among second basemen, he was on the same ballot as Bonds — who hit more homers than anyone, at any position.
During a post-announcement news conference, Kent recalled the way he and Bonds used to push, prod and sometimes annoy each other during their six seasons as teammates on the San Francisco Giants. Those were Kent’s best seasons, a fairly late-career peak that ran from 1997 to 2002, during which Kent posted 31.6 of his 55.4 career bWAR.
The crescendo was 2000, when Kent enjoyed his career season at age 32, hitting .334 with a 1.021 OPS, hammering 33 homers with 125 RBIs and compiling a career-best 7.2 bWAR. Hitting fourth behind Bonds and his .440 OBP, Kent hit .382 with runners on base and .449 with a runner on first base.
During Kent’s six years in San Francisco, he was one of five players in baseball to go to the plate with at least one runner on base at least 2,000 times, and the other four all played at least 48 more games than he did. Turns out, hitting behind Bonds is a pretty good career move.
To be clear, Kent was an outstanding player and the numbers he compiled were his, and his alone. When you see how the news of election impacts players, it’s a special thing. I am happy Jeff Kent is now a Hall of Famer.
But I am less happy with the Hall of Fame itself. While Kent’s overwhelming support — he was named on 14 of the 16 ballots, two more than the minimum needed for induction — caught me more than a little off guard, what didn’t surprise me was the overall voting results. In what amounted to fine print, there was this mention in the Hall’s official news release: “Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Gary Sheffield and Fernando Valenzuela each received less than five votes.”
By the new guidelines the Hall enacted for its ever-evolving era committee process — guidelines that went into effect with this ballot — Bonds, Clemens, Sheffield and Valenzuela aren’t eligible in 2028, the next time the contemporary era is considered. They can be nominated in 2031, and if they are, that’s probably it. If they don’t get onto at least five ballots then, they are done. And there is no reason to believe they will get more support the next time.
I thought that the makeup of this committee was stacked against the PED-associated players, but that’s a subjective assessment. And who knows what goes on in those deliberations. With so many players from the 1970s and 1980s in the group, it seemed to bode well for Don Mattingly and Dale Murphy. But they were both listed on just six ballots. Carlos Delgado had the second most support, at nine.
Why? Beats me. I’ve given up trying to interpret the veterans committee/era committee processes that have existed over the years. But the latest guidelines seem perfectly designed to ensure that for the next six years, there’s no reason to wail about Bonds and Clemens being excluded. Then in 2031, that’s it.
Meanwhile, the classic era will be up for consideration again in 2027, when Pete Rose can and likely will be nominated. Perhaps Shoeless Joe Jackson as well. What happens then is anybody’s guess, but by the second week of December 2031, we could be looking at a Hall of Fame roster that includes the long ineligible (but no more) Rose and maybe Jackson but permanently excludes the never-ineligible Bonds and Clemens — perhaps the best hitter and pitcher, respectively, who ever played.
If and when it happens, another kind of symbolic banishment will take place: The Hall will have consigned itself, with these revised guidelines, to always being less than it should be. And the considerable shadows of Bonds and Clemens will continue to loom, larger and larger over time, just as they happened with Rose and Jackson.
Ironic, isn’t it?
WASHINGTON — The Washington Capitals placed goaltender Charlie Lindgren and forward Ryan Leonard on injured reserve Sunday night before their game against the Columbus Blue Jackets.
Washington recalled forward Bogdan Trineyev and goaltender Clay Stevenson from Hershey of the American Hockey League.
Lindgren (upper body) was a late scratch Friday night before a 4-3 shootout loss at Anaheim. Leonard (upper body) didn’t return after his face was bloodied on an unpenalized first-period check from Jacob Trouba.
“He’s going to miss an extended period of time,” Capitals coach Spencer Carbery said about Leonard, the rookie who has seven goals and 11 assists after having two each Wednesday night in a 7-1 win at San Jose.
Lindgren is 5-3 with a 3.11 goals-against average in his 10th NHL season and fifth with Washington.
“We’ll see once he gets back on the ice,” Carbery said. “But [we] put him on the IR, so he’s going to miss, what is it, seven days at the bare minimum. And then we’ll see just how he progresses.”
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Bradford Doolittle
ORLANDO, Fla. — Jeff Kent, who holds the record for home runs by a second baseman, was elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame on Sunday.
Kent, 57, was named on 14 of 16 ballots by the contemporary baseball era committee, two more than he needed for induction.
Just as noteworthy as Kent’s selection were the names of those who didn’t garner enough support, which included all-time home run leader Barry Bonds, 354-game winner Roger Clemens, two MVPs from the 1980s, Don Mattingly and Dale Murphy, and Gary Sheffield, who slugged 509 career homers.
Bonds, Clemens, Sheffield and Dodgers great Fernando Valenzuela were named on fewer than five ballots. According to a new protocol introduced by the Hall of Fame that went into effect with this ballot, players drawing five or fewer votes won’t be eligible the next time their era is considered. They can be nominated again in a subsequent cycle, but if they fall short of five votes again, they will not be eligible for future consideration.
The candidacies of Bonds and Clemens have long been among the most hotly debated among Hall of Fame aficionados because of their association with PEDs. With Sunday’s results, they moved one step closer to what will ostensibly be permanent exclusion from the sport’s highest honor.
If Bonds, Clemens, Sheffield and Valenzuela are nominated when their era comes around in 2031 and fall short of five votes again, it will be their last shot at enshrinement under the current guidelines.
Kent, whose best seasons were with the San Francisco Giants as Bonds’ teammate, continued his longstanding neutral stance on Bonds’ candidacy, declining to offer an opinion on whether or not he believes Bonds should get in.
“Barry was a good teammate of mine,” Kent said. “He was a guy that I motivated and pushed. We knocked heads a little bit. He was a guy that motivated me at times, in frustration, in love, at times both.
“Barry was one of the best players I ever saw play the game, amazing. For me, I’ve always said that. I’ve always avoided the specific answer you’re looking for, because I don’t have one. I don’t. I’m not a voter.”
Kent played 17 seasons in the majors for six different franchises and grew emotional at times as he recollected the different stops in a now-Hall of Fame career that ended in 2008. He remained on the BBWAA ballot for all 10 years of his eligibility after retiring, but topped out at 46.5% in 2023, his last year.
“The time had gone by, and you just leave it alone, and I left it alone,” Kent said. “I loved the game, and everything I gave to the game I left there on the field. This moment today, over the last few days, I was absolutely unprepared. Emotionally unstable.”
A five-time All-Star, Kent was named NL MVP in 2000 as a member of the Giants, who he set a career high with a .334 average while posting 33 homers and 125 RBIs. Kent hit 377 career homers, 351 as a second baseman, a record for the position.
Kent is the 62nd player elected to the Hall who played for the Giants. He also played for Toronto, the New York Mets, Cleveland, Houston and the Dodgers. Now, he’ll play symbolically for baseball’s most exclusive team — those with plaques hanging in Cooperstown, New York.
“I have not walked through the halls of the Hall of Fame,” Kent said. “And that’s going to be overwhelming once I get in there.”
Carlos Delgado was named on nine ballots, the second-highest total among the eight under consideration. Mattingly and Murphy received six votes apiece. All three are eligible to be nominated again when the contemporary era is next considered in 2028.
Next up on the Hall calendar is voting by the BBWAA on this year’s primary Hall of Fame ballot. Those results will be announced on Jan. 20.
Anyone selected through that process will join Kent in being inducted on July 26, 2026, on the grounds of the Clark Sports Center in Cooperstown.
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